Published by Bridget KerMorris, JD, MA
The middle school years can feel like the start of losing your child. One day they’re chatty and affectionate. The next they’re rolling their eyes, questioning everything, and leaving you wondering, “Am I doing this all wrong?” The truth is, middle school isn’t the end of your relationship. It’s the beginning of a new one. Each week, middle school therapist, coach, and creator of Steady + Connected Parenting™, Bridget KerMorris answers a real question from a real parent. Together, you’ll move beyond quick parenting tips to understand what’s really happening underneath your child’s behavior, what’s getting activated inside of you, and how to lead your family with steadiness, warmth, and confidence. Whether you’re navigating friendships, technology, ADHD, sibling conflict, identity, motivation, anxiety, or simply wondering how to stay connected to a child who suddenly seems impossible to reach, each episode offers practical tools, fresh perspective, and the kind of relational clarity™ that helps both parents and kids thrive. Bridget is a Stanford-trained lawyer with thousands of hours of education and experience as a marriage and family therapist specializing in family systems, neurodivergence, and relational trauma. She’s also a mom of seven, currently parenting her fourth middle schooler, and the creator behind @bridget.parentcoach, where more than 100,000 parents turn each day for grounded, compassionate support. Because your middle schooler isn’t asking for a perfect parent. They’re asking, “Do you like me?” “Will you come back for me?” This podcast will help you answer, “Yes.”
Listen on Apple PodcastsWhat if your middle schooler's friendship struggles aren't a sign that something is wrong? What if they're exactly where they're supposed to be? In this special episode of Middle Years , I'm sharing one of the most important sections from my Social Lives of Middle Schoolers workshop. You'll hear the big reframe that changes how I think about middle school friendships: Friendships are where kids practice. Home is where they're safe. From there, we dive into the very first shift every parent needs to make before trying to help their child through friendship drama. Because when our child gets left out, ignored, or hurt by a friend, it doesn't just activate them . It activates us, too. In this episode, we'll talk about: Why middle school friendships are supposed to be messy. The difference between what happened and the meaning we make of it. How your own middle school experiences can quietly shape the way you respond to your child's. Why your steadiness helps keep one hard friendship moment from becoming your child's identity. This episode is an invitation to stop trying to fix every friendship problem and start tending to something even more important: your child's sense of belonging. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource ( click here ). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram. Click here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops.
Am I too sensitive or is something else going on? Do you ever walk away from a conversation with your middle schooler feeling . . . dismissed and, well, kind of small? Maybe every casual comment turns into a debate. Maybe they correct you, play devil's advocate, or seem determined to prove you wrong. And somewhere in the middle of it all, you find yourself wondering: Am I just too sensitive? In this episode, we're unpacking what's really happening when your middle schooler argues with everything you say and why this dynamic can feel so hard. We'll talk about: Why middle schoolers often debate ideas more easily than they share their feelings What may be happening developmentally beneath the constant correcting Why your sensitivity isn't a flaw to fix How to have an honest conversation that builds connection instead of defensiveness Practical scripts to help your child learn to disagree without damaging the relationship This isn't about raising a child who always agrees with you. It's about raising a child who can think independently while still protecting the relationship. And it's about remembering that you are a human in a real relationship with your child. If you're longing for conversations that leave you feeling closer instead of farther apart, this episode is for you. Ready to build a relationship that can weather the middle school years and beyond? Check out my Unbreakable Bond resource ( click here ). It's designed to help you create the kind of connection that lasts through disagreements, growing independence, and all the beautiful, messy moments in between. I hope you'll also click here to find me on Instagram.
When your middle schooler says, "I hate you," it hurts. Whether they say it once in a moment of frustration or it has become a daily pattern, those words can leave you wondering: Am I doing something wrong? Should I ignore it? How do I stop this without pushing my child further away? In this episode, I'm answering one parent's heartfelt question about a middle schooler who tells her parents and younger sibling, "I hate you," every single day. We'll talk about what's likely happening underneath those words and, more importantly, what you can actually do about it. Inside this episode, you'll learn: Why "I hate you" is almost never about hate The first step parents can't afford to skip before responding How to have a calm, connection-centered conversation outside the moment What to say (and do) when it happens again Why boundaries and connection must work together How to protect younger siblings without shaming your middle schooler How to help your child replace hurtful words with healthier ways of expressing big feelings This isn't about excusing hurtful behavior. It's about leading your child with steadiness while helping them build the relational skills they'll use for the rest of their lives. Because your middle schooler isn't just learning how to manage emotions. They're learning how to stay connected to the people they love when those emotions get big. If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to continue supporting you. My Steady + Connected Parenting Workshops dive deeper into the topics middle school parents ask about most often, with practical tools you can start using right away. Go here to be the first to hear about upcoming workshops: https://kermorris.myflodesk.com/parentingworkshops You can find me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly defending your parenting? Your middle schooler says, “That’s not fair!” and suddenly you’re explaining, justifying, presenting evidence, and reminding them what happened three months ago . . . only to realize you’re somehow arguing your case to a twelve-year-old. If so, you’re not alone. In this episode, we explore why middle schoolers and their siblings become so focused on fairness, what’s happening developmentally, why some neurodivergent kids experience perceived injustice even more intensely, and the attachment questions that are often hiding underneath sibling comparisons. We’ll also talk about: Why “fair” and “equal” are not the same thing How to take your child’s feelings seriously without putting your parenting up for a vote What steady leadership looks like when your child disagrees with your decisions How to build a family culture where respectful disagreement strengthens relationships instead of turning your home into a courtroom Because your child doesn’t need to walk away from every disagreement believing you were right. They need to know your relationship is strong enough to hold the disagreement. You can grab my free Social Guide and a seat at my free live Friendship Workshop on July 22 here: https://kermorris.myflodesk.com/julyworkshop You can find Bridget on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit
Have you ever looked at your middle schooler and quietly wondered: "I love my child . . . why is it so hard to like them right now?" If so, this episode is for you. In one of the most honest conversations I've had on the podcast, I answer a vulnerable question from a mom who feels hurt, disconnected, and ashamed that she's struggling to like her 13-year-old son. Together, we'll explore: Why these feelings are far more common than most parents admit How hurt can begin writing the story of your relationship The difference between your child's capacity and their caring, especially for middle schoolers with ADHD What may be happening beneath behaviors like lying, complaining, and resisting help Why your child's attempts to reconnect after conflict matter more than you might realize How to find your way back to seeing your child with compassion without minimizing your own pain This episode isn't about pretending difficult behavior is okay. It's about learning to tell a truer story about your child, yourself, and your relationship so that hurt doesn't become the loudest voice between you. If you've ever worried that something is wrong with you because you're not enjoying this season of parenting, I hope this episode feels like sitting down with someone who truly understands. You're a human in a real relationship with your child and real relationships are strong enough to stretch without breaking. You can find Bridget on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit
Content Note: This episode includes discussion of depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation in the context of supporting LGBTQIA+ youth. If you're listening with children in the car or this topic feels especially tender, you may want to skip this episode or listen on your own first. Pride Month felt like the right time to have a conversation that so many parents are quietly wondering about: What if I say the wrong thing? In this episode, I answer a thoughtful question from a parent whose middle school daughter is exploring questions of identity, belonging, and community. We talk about how to stay deeply connected to your child while holding your own fears, uncertainty, and hopes with compassion. Together we'll explore: Why identity exploration is a normal part of adolescent development How UPDATE can help you respond from steadiness instead of fear Why belonging at home remains one of the most protective factors during the middle school years How to use A.R.E. Parenting and CURIOUS Relational Parenting to create emotional safety The power of REPAIR when conversations don't go as planned Research on family connection, LGBTQIA+ youth mental health, and why relationships matter so much Whether your child is questioning aspects of their identity, finding new communities, or simply becoming more themselves, this episode is a reminder that you do not have to have all the answers. Your relationship can be strong enough to hold the questions. You can find Bridget on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit
Friendships can feel like the hardest part of parenting a middle schooler. One day your daughter seems confident and grounded. The next, her mood, interests, or self-esteem seem completely tied to what her friends think. In this episode, we're talking about what friendship drama is really about, why peer relationships suddenly carry so much emotional weight during adolescence, and how to help your child belong without losing themselves. You'll learn: Why middle school friendships are a training ground, not the final draft How to support your daughter without over-managing her social life What to do when friend drama activates your own fears and worries as a parent How to help your child build an internal anchor that can withstand shifting social dynamics If you've ever wondered, "Why does everyone else's opinion suddenly matter more than mine?" this episode is for you. You can find Bridget on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ The Ultimate Middle School Parent Survival Toolkit is here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/ultimate-toolkit
Your middle schooler is smart, capable, funny, and insightful . . . so why are they struggling with things that seem like they should be able to do? In this episode, Bridget answers a parent question about a seventh grader who is capable but has stopped trying in a certain class at school. Along the way, she explores a question most parents never think to ask: What is it costing this child to try? Because if effort would solve the problem, most middle schoolers would gladly put in the effort. They want competence. They want independence. They want adults to stop worrying about them. So when they don't try, what if laziness isn't the answer? Bridget unpacks the difference between capability and capacity, why bright and successful kids often fly under the ADHD radar, how rejection sensitivity and emotional regulation can impact motivation, and why many struggles that look like defiance or apathy may actually be self-protection. Whether ADHD is part of your child's story or not, this episode will help you look beneath behavior, challenge the stories we tell ourselves about struggling kids, and approach your middle schooler with greater curiosity, understanding, and connection. Sometimes the most powerful parenting question isn't, "Why won't they try?" It's, "What does trying cost them?" You can find Bridget on Instagram ( https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ ). If you'd like to learn more about Steady + Connected Parenting™, go here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/unbreakable-bond
Technology might be one of the hardest parts of parenting middle schoolers because technology asks us to lead through uncertainty. In this episode, Bridget answers two questions from parents who are struggling with phones, screen time, pornography exposure, social media, and the pressure to help their children belong in a digital world that often feels overwhelming. Together, we'll explore why the tech battle isn't actually about tech, how UPDATE can help parents understand what technology activates inside of them, and why connection remains one of the most protective factors in a child's life. You'll learn: Why technology conversations are often really about autonomy, belonging, and regulation How to approach pornography and difficult online experiences without fear or shame What to do when your child lies, hides, or sneaks technology Why family values matter more than finding the perfect tech rules The difference between protection and control The safest middle schooler online is the one who knows: "I can bring anything to my parent." You can find Bridget on Instagram ( https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ ). If you'd like to learn more about Steady + Connected Parenting™, go here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/unbreakable-bond
A mom discovers that her 12-year-old son may have his first crush, but he insists he's "too young to date." So what do you do when you know something about your middle schooler that they haven't chosen to share with you? In this episode, Bridget explores the difference between privacy and secrecy, why connection isn't measured by how much our children tell us, and how to become the kind of parent your child knows they can come to when life gets complicated. If you've ever worried that your middle schooler is pulling away, this episode is for you. You can find Bridget on Instagram ( https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ ). If you'd like to learn more about Steady + Connected Parenting™, go here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/unbreakable-bond
In the very first episode of Middle Years, Bridget answers a question from a mom whose sixth-grade daughter was furious with her after a difficult parenting decision. When her daughter skipped volleyball practice and asked her mom to send an email that wasn't truthful, the mom found herself wrestling with a question so many middle school parents face: Should I step in and help, or should I let my child experience the outcome of their choices? Together, we'll explore why this isn't really a conversation about consequences. It's a conversation about leadership, connection, integrity, disappointment, and what our job actually is when our middle schoolers are upset with us. In this episode, you'll learn: Why disappointment and disconnection are not the same thing How Bridget's approach to parenting the middle years can help you make decisions from steadiness instead of fear The four relationships that were present in this parenting moment How to hold onto your values without losing connection A simple way to repair and reconnect after a rupture If you've ever wondered, "Did I do the right thing?" this episode is for you. Because middle school parenting isn't about getting it right all the time. It's about staying connected, staying steady, and continuing to show up even when you're unsure. You can find Bridget on Instagram ( https://www.instagram.com/bridget.parentcoach/ ). If you'd like to learn more about Steady + Connected Parenting™, go here: https://bridgetparentco.samcart.com/products/unbreakable-bond
Most parents of middle schoolers are trying so hard to get it right. We want to stay connected without hovering, help without overreacting, and raise a kid who feels deeply loved and also capable in the world. Even with the best intentions, these middle years can be tough and it can start to feel like everyone else got a parenting manual you somehow missed. In Middle Years, Bridget KerMorris answers real parenting questions from parents of middle schoolers with honesty, humor, thoughtful insight, and deep respect for the parent-child relationship. Each episode explores what is happening underneath the behavior and how parents can stay steady, connected, and relational through some of the most emotionally intense years of family life. Bridget is a Stanford-trained lawyer, parenting coach, mom of seven, and creator of the Steady + Connected Parenting™ framework. Drawing from thousands of hours studying and engaging in clinical work around family systems, neurodivergence, relational trauma, and middle school development, she helps parents build rock-solid relationships with their kids without perfection, fear, or constant power struggles. Middle school is not the beginning of losing your child. It's an opportunity to know them more deeply than ever before.
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