Published by Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank
The Sandwich Generation is a smart, funny, and deeply human podcast about life in the middle—caring for both young children and aging parents. Hosted by two women living it in real-time, Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson bring raw honesty, real advice, hopefully some levity to every episode.
Listen on Apple PodcastsTalking about death is uncomfortable. Talking about how we want to die? That's a conversation most of us avoid altogether. In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod , Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Sarah Longacre and Wendy Brown to share the extraordinary story of Cheryl Hauser, a wife, mother, and advocate whose Alzheimer's diagnosis led her to make a deeply personal end-of-life decision through Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED). Cheryl spent her final years documenting her journey, not to tell others what to do, but to encourage families to have honest conversations about end-of-life wishes, autonomy, and what it means to live—and die—with intention. Her story is now featured in the documentary The Cheryl Hauser Effect , helping families around the world navigate some of life's hardest conversations. Together, we explore Alzheimer's, advance care planning, VSED, caregiving, grief, and the courage it takes to talk openly about death before a crisis forces the conversation. This episode is thoughtful, emotional, and ultimately hopeful. Whether you're caring for aging parents, facing a difficult diagnosis in your family, or simply wondering how to start talking about end-of-life wishes, Cheryl's story is one you won't soon forget. Takeaways Talking about death is hard, but talking about it matters. Knowing someone's wishes is one of the greatest acts of love. Every family deserves to understand their end-of-life options. Honoring someone's choices can be the hardest - and kindest - thing we do. Dignity, joy, and purpose can exist until the very end. VSED requires a lot of planning to make sure everyone is emotionally and logistically on board to preserve your loved one’s comfort and dignity through the process. Cheryl Hauser and her story are opening up the conversation about choosing how we die. No matter what the right choice is for you, plan the party, invite your people and live your fullest right up until the end. Links + Resources: Cheryl Hauser Effect Website Compassion and Choices Chemin - Wendy Longacre Brown’s end of life doula website and resources “Choosing to Die” Book by Phyllis Schacter Minnesota Death Collaborative - a group of integrative death professionals who serve our community in a variety of ways. Chapters 00:00 Introducing the sisters: Sarah and Wendy 03:53 An Intro to The Cheryl Hauser Effect Documentary 05:51 Who is Cheryl Hauser : A Mother's Legacy 28:30 Shifting Perspectives: Conversations About Mortality 31:08 Medical Aid vs. VSED: Understanding the Options 39:37 When is it time to VSED? How do you know? 44:02 The legalities of choosing VSED - a candid conversation 50:54 Setting the Stage for VSED - What's is really like? 01:06:16 TheCherylHauserEffect.com 01:08:29 Reaction and Final Thoughts from Robyn + Eliesa
What happens when we find someone on the internet who’s leading a grassroots movement in revolutionizing care in America?! We invite them to the pod! In this mini-episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa welcome Neal K. Shah of CareYaya to the mic. Neal is reaching people far and wide through his wisdom and advice through social media, but did you also know that he’s *literally* changing the world with his company, CareYaya. CareYaya is changing elder care by connecting families with compassionate, motivated college students from top universities. (Think Harvard, Stanford, etc.) This provides affordable care for thousands of families, and introduces tens of thousands of students into the care workforce. It’s a win-win for everyone! In this episode, Neal shares all about his caregiving story, practical solutions and hopeful trends that are shaping the future of eldercare in America! This episode is proudly supported by our friends at Poppins Payroll! Takeaways CareYaya is changing how America Cares for it’s elders. Paying the caregiver directly massively cuts the cost of in home care. The younger generation is actually interested in caregiving - that is hopeful for us all! There’s going to be a demographic shift as the baby boomers age. Celebrities are speaking out more - and people in prominent positions about caregiving. Wherever we are feeling ‘lonely’ we realize - wow, this affects us all. Employers + Big companies have the ability to support middle-age employees by offering caregiving support. Sandwiched caregivers are doing A LOT. Take time to care for yourself - it’s no joke Links and Resources: CareYaya Poppins Payroll - the easiest way to pay your in-home employee. (Think in-home caregiver, your nanny or even your gardener!) Whoever keeps your home running smoothly, Poppins Payroll can simplify payroll, filings and taxes! Use code: SANDWICH to receive one month FREE! Counterforce Health AI Tool - Appeal your Health Insurance denial using this powerful tool! (For real!) NIH: National Institute on Aging Johns Hopkins Caregiving Research Family Caregiver Alliance - Great resource for Caregiver Support Groups Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Neal Shah 04:49 Innovations in Caregiving: Bridging Gaps and Creating Solutions 07:32 The Care Crisis in America - how can we create change? 11:42 The Role of Technology in Modern Caregiving 14:27 Channeling Guilt into Social Change 18:11 Demographic Trends and the Caregiving Crisis 19:13 Finding Hope 21:41 Supporting Sandwiched Caregivers 24:11 Systemic Changes for Caregiver Support
Being an only child means you learn independence early. You can entertain yourself, make decisions, and figure out anything on your own. But when you land in The Sandwich Generation ? That same independence can start to feel a whole lot like, “Wait… am I supposed to do ALL of this myself?!” In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod , Eliesa opens up about the unique reality of being an “only” while caregiving for aging parents, raising a family, managing grief, and carrying the emotional load without siblings to tag in. We’re also joined by Melissa Del Rosario, who shares her deeply personal story of sudden loss, shifting family dynamics, setting boundaries, and learning how to build your village when you don’t automatically have one built in. Together, we talk about the pros, cons, pressure, freedom, guilt, resilience, and dark humor that come with being an only child caregiver. If you’re an only child caring for aging parents, navigating family caregiving alone, or trying to survive the chaos of the Sandwich Generation without losing your mind, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and hopefully laugh a little too. Because being an only doesn’t mean you’re supposed to do it all alone. Takeaways Only children are superheroes — but you don’t have to carry everything alone. Being an Only teaches you independence early. You learn to figure things out yourself. That independence can get rocked hard in The Sandwich Generation. In a family of three, losing one person changes everything and the whole dynamic shifts. Your relationship with a surviving parent often has to be rebuilt after loss. This takes time. Boundaries can feel hard as an Only because you feel responsible for everyone. A lot of only children become the emotional center of the family. That’s heavy. Our friends often become family when you’re an Only. We learn how to build our own village! Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Melissa Del Rosario 02:10 Melissa's Caregiving Story as an Only Child 05:42 Navigating Life and Death Decisions 07:54 The Pressure of Being an Only Child when it's life or death 14:23 Rebuilding Relationships After Loss 16:44 How the Family Dynamic shifts after loss when you are an Only Child 22:29 The Fragility of Codependency 27:28 How do Only Children deal with the guilt? 34:54 Your Friends can be closer than family when you're an Only 40:57 Finding Guidance and Advice when you are an Only 46:41 Empowerment in Independence 48:43 Rethinking Only Child Stereotypes 52:50 Outro
How do we keep laughing when life feels so unbelievably heavy? Between raising the littles, caregiving for our aging parents, grief and the stress, surviving The Sandwich Generation feels like sometimes humor is the only thing holding it all together! In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod , Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank welcome nationally acclaimed comedian Susan Rice ( @funnyoldbag ) for a hilarious, honest, and surprisingly heartfelt conversation about aging, caregiving, self-worth, reinvention, and why it’s never too late to chase your dreams! Susan shares how she found her groove as a comedian in her seventies, what humor can teach us about resilience, and why getting older might actually be the moment we finally stop giving a fuck what everyone else thinks. We talk about finding joy in hard seasons, embracing aging with humor, and learning to laugh (or cry) at the chaos. If you’re caring for aging parents, feeling burned out in midlife, or just need permission to laugh through the mess, this episode is for you. Takeaways Sometimes the funniest people are carrying the hardest stories. It’s never too late to grow into yourself. Getting older can bring a surprising sense of freedom. Younger generations have so much to learn from older generations, we just need to connect more. There’s something powerful about hearing confident women in their 70s speak honestly and loudly. Aging doesn’t mean becoming invisible. You still deserve to take up space. Humor helps us survive hard things. We always need it. Links and Resources Susan Rice Comedy @ funnyoldbag on Instagram Susan Rice: Silver Alert - a new special! Don’t Tell Comedy Shows Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Comedian Susan Rice 01:15 Overcoming Challenges with Humor 12:15 The Resilience of Aging 13:18 Thriving in Your Seventies 15:53 Confidence and Visibility in Aging 21:35 Susan's Caregiving Story 23:43 Women, The World and why we always need Humor
Why does Assisted Living cost so much? Why does every tour somehow end in a “pub”? And are the communities with the fancy brochures and gourmet desserts actually the best fit for your loved one? In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod , Robyn and Eliesa sit down with Melissa Stanton and Molly Mogren Katt of Carefree Cottages of Maplewood for a candid (and surprisingly heated + funny) conversation about the realities of assisted living, from both sides of the tour. We get into the real stuff: the questions families should be asking, how to make sense of the finances, what actually matters beyond the marketing, and how to figure out who you can trust in an industry that can feel wildly overwhelming. Whether you’re just starting to explore assisted living or already deep in the process, this episode is packed with honest insights, helpful tips, and plenty of laughs along the way. Disclaimer: We are not lawyers nor do we offer legal advice on this podcast. All information is based out of Minnesota, so check your state to see what programs, waivers and assistance are offered in your area! Takeaways What are the top 3 questions that families should be asking when touring assisted living communities? What is the difference between Private Pay, Elderly and Cadi Waiver programs? Think of shopping for assisted living like you’re dating. Are you serious and looking for a long term relationship? What are the qualities you’re looking for? Follow your *senses* What the hell is an Ombudsman? (This person might be your best friend…) What are some misconceptions about Assisted Living? Assisted Living Can be: Family Owned Corporate Non-Profit (Like Shalom Home) Adult Foster Homes Chapters 01:23 Intro to Molly and Melissa of Carefree Cottages 06:39 What is Assisted Living and Who is it for? 12:52 Question #1: Do you accept the Elderly Waiver or Cadi Waiver? 25:57 Question #2: How are the activities? 30:43 Question #3: Medication Management and Independence 35:37 What things should you be looking for when touring Assisted Living? 37:24 Robyn's horrible experience with assisted living 44:19 What is an ombudsman and knowing your rights 48:23 Debunking the misconceptions about Assisted Living 53:07 Why does Assisted Living cost so much? 56:19 Family Owned, Corporate, Non Profit or Adult Foster Care 58:50 What is a 'Navigator' and are they helpful? 01:01:08 Independent Living, Assisted Living, Memory Care and Skilled Nursing 01:06:31 The Future of Assisted Living Links + Resources: Carefree Cottages of Maplewood Cost of Long Term Care Calculator - this is an AMAZING resource where you can estimate the cost of care in your specific area of the United States. Powered by Carescout State of MN Ombudsman Minnesota Bill of Rights for Assisted Living A Place at the Table - an example of adult foster care. National Domestic Workers Alliance Caring Across Generations Molly Mogren Katt - explore more of Molly’s personal + creative work!
Ever have one of those moments where you just want to scream a little? Caregiving can feel like that, especially when well-meaning people say things that completely miss the mark. Those small comments can add up, and before you know it, you’re carrying a kind of loneliness that’s hard to put into words. Whether you’re supporting a loved one through a terminal diagnosis, navigating aging, walking alongside someone at the end of life, or grieving after they’re gone, the “in-between” losses can feel overwhelming. Life keeps moving all around you, and somehow you’re expected to keep up. And if you’re a sandwiched caregiver? You might find yourself craving moments of joy in the middle of it all - only to be met with guilt (or even a little side-eye) when you actually have fun. Simple, right? In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod , Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Jessica Kim, founder of Ianacare (“I Am Not Alone Care”). Jessica has spent most of her adult life as a caregiver while raising three kids, and she’s turned that experience into a mission to support others navigating the same challenges. Together, we talk about the loneliness of caregiving, finding connection, and giving yourself permission to hold both grief and joy at the same time. Because at the end of the day, you’re not alone—we’re in this together. Takeaways Loneliness creeps in and can be all consuming when you’re a caregiver. The fork in the road: Do you need to leave your career to be a caregiver? Our Mindset: How we reframe things is huge - we need to balance JOY in caregiving The THREE day rule - how have you tended to your priorities over the course of three days? Kids + activities Marriage Friends Wellness / gym Work Faith How does full time caregiving effect our children? Do they see our stress as much as we feel it? Culture Change: Lets not make others feel guilty while seeking JOY while they are GRIEVING Ianacare: How this company supports families and helps them with loneliness. Also: a HUGE Medicare GUIDE program for families with Alzheimer's! Links + Resources: Ianacare Website Follow Ianacare on Instagram Caring for someone with Dementia? See if you Qualify for the Medicare GUIDE Program - at NO cost to you! Chapters: 00:00 Intros and our Meet Cute with Jessica Kim 02:29 Jessica's Caregiving Story 22:30 Mindshift: Reframing Priorities in Caregiving 29:04 Impact of Caregiving on Children 38:07 Seeking Joy Amidst Grief 43:47 The Loneliness of Caregiving 47:23 How caregiving changes you 55:05 IANACare and a Medicare funded program for Caregivers 01:02:59 Engagement and Community Building 01:03:35 Outro
Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation is already a full-contact sport. One minute you’re negotiating with a toddler over broccoli, the next your parents are on the phone… also negotiating, but with guilt trips and passive-aggressive commentary. Cool, cool, cool. So what’s the move when everyone needs something and someone’s being downright difficult? In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod , Robyn and Eliesa talk with family mediator Molly Darsow, owner of Still Waters Mediation . (Yes—family mediator. Because sometimes families need a referee.) Molly shares expert advice on setting boundaries with parents, managing emotional triggers, and improving communication in challenging family dynamics.If you’ve ever thought “there has to be a better way to deal with this,” this one’s for you. If you’re caring for aging parents while raising kids, navigating sibling tension, or just trying not to lose your mind during one more “interesting” phone call—this episode will give you tools, validation, and maybe even a little laugh. Takeaways We are born into family systems and when our parents age or pass away, those roles within the system are wildly disrupted. We always hold onto our inner child. When we’re family, we all know each other’s triggers - that never leaves us. There might be a generational difference in how we talk about our emotions. There is A LOT of vulnerability in aging. Shutting down bad behaviors is totally legit. It sounds annoying but acceptance, compassion and time are three of the best ways to handle a difficult parent. Communication takes active practice on everyone’s part and Molly gives tips on doing this effectively. Chapters 00:00 Introduction with Molly Darsow of Still Waters Mediation 02:55 What is Mediation and why might I need it? 09:40 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses 11:39 Strategies for Difficult Conversations 30:31 Establishing Boundaries with Parents 33:47 Acknowledging Loss and Change 38:49 The Driving Conversation - is anything more difficult than this? 48:18 What to do when a parent is guilting you? 58:07 Sibling Relationships and Triangulation 01:05:50 Managing Difficult Parents in Front of Children 01:11:11 Outro Links and Resources: Still Waters Mediation Care out Loud Conversation starter Cards
What is it really like for the Spouses in The Sandwich Generation?! We know it’s emotional for us caregivers, but what is it like on the other side of a relationship? In this episode, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank hand the mic over to their spouses, Nick and EZ, for a refreshingly honest (and occasionally hilarious) take on: What actually irritates them (yes, we go there) How to keep the spark alive when you're exhausted and emotionally tapped out Raising kids while juggling everyone else’s needs And what support really looks like—beyond “just tell me what you need” Spoiler: Love is strong… but so are opinions about buying milk! If you’re in a relationship in the Sandwich Generation—whether you’re the caregiver or the one wondering how to help—this one’s for you. Because sometimes, laughter is the only thing keeping everyone sane. Takeaways Everyone is in The Sandwich Generation together when you’re married but in different roles. How can a spouse help with the overwhelm of being sandwiched? When your spouse takes a back seat - and making them a priority again! How are we raising the kids in the middle of it all? Keeping the fire alive - intimacy and humor during tough times. It takes a village - asking for help! Chapters 00:00 Reflections on Marriage: Expectations vs. Reality: Getting Married Later in Life and Entering The Sandwich Generation 10:20 When the caregiver is overwhelmed, what's a spouse to do? 18:53 Hormones are a big deal in The Sandwich Generation 30:18 When your spouse takes a back seat and making them a priority again 36:27 Arguments 39:27 So what do you really think of your in laws? 45:36 What about us? What does our aging look like? 48:01 Lets talk about the kids + grief 54:33 Making things easier for the spouse that is overwhelmed by caregiving 59:09 What makes our spouse sexy now in The Sandwich Generation? 01:05:36 Outro
Welcome to Part 2 of our episode on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care in Minnesota. This is a HOT topic and one that deserved some extra time! In this episode, Robyn and Eliesa welcome back Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC answers more questions and gives practical examples and tips on the strategy and process behind applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care. What’s a 5 year look back? What’s a spend down? What are Medical Assistant Divorces and why do they happen? There is so much great information in this episode! Hot Tip : Spend the money and hire an attorney - it’s worth the investment! We’re not here to sell, we are here to guide you through and hopefully shed some light on a subject that is fraught with financial and emotional loss. **Please note that we are not offering specific legal advice - Use this advice to ask the questions in your states, with your attorneys.** Takeaways: The benefits of Pre Planning for Long Term Care The benefits of hiring an attorney to help - especially to flag for exemptions in MN that get missed a lot. Clarifying the terms: 5 year Look Back, Asset Reduction and Spenddown terminology The cost of care in America is HIGH right now - we will all need long term planning and the earlier the better because you have options. Ongoing MA maintenance Some real life examples of a medical assistance spenddown before annual renewals Medical Assistance Divorces and why do they happen What’s the most frequent question an attorney gets asked by families applying for Medical Assistance for long term care? Links and Resources: National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys - a national resource to help connect you with Elder Law Attorneys around the country! Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment! 10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law. Minnesota Application for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care - if you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. Low Income Resources: Mid Minnesota Legal Aid LawHelpMN.Org
What happens when the money runs out? For many Americans, Medical Assistance for Long Term Care is an option that feels almost inevitable. But these were supposed to be ‘The Golden Years’, right? And now you’re telling me I have to live off of $120/month? WHAT?!? Where do you begin? There seem to be SO many rules and so much fine print - and what is really provided? In part one of this two-part episode, Eliesa shares her personal story with the hardships of navigating and applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care. We also welcome Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC to be our expert in talking about the legalities of Medical Assistance for Long Term Care in Minnesota with real tips, real examples and real advice. **Please note that we are not offering specific legal advice - Use this advice to ask the questions in your states, with your attorneys.** Takeaways: Eliesa’s personal story - why is she so passionate about Medical assistance? Lets clarify the terms: Medical Assistance for Long Term Care, Elder Waiver and Cadi Waiver What is *actually covered in MN when you’re on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care? The benefits of hiring an attorney for the pre-planning and application process. Setting Expectations for being on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law 01:06 Eliesa’s Personal Story with Medical Assistance 12:38 Why do people go on Medical Assistance and who is it for? 13:56 Medical Assistance vs The Elderly Care Waiver vs the Cadi Waiver 17:42 What are the first steps in applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care? 23:55 Navigating county workers and application challenges 34:16 Financial Realities of Medical Assistance and Elderly Waiver 45:39 The importance of early planning 47:02 Outro Links and Resources: National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys - a national resource to help connect you with Elder Law Attorneys around the country! Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment! 10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law. Minnesota Application for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care - if you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. Low Income Resources: Mid Minnesota Legal Aid LawHelpMN.Org
Description: Alright, who else feels overwhelmed by keeping together the paperwork and passwords alone in The Sandwich Generation? Do we go digital with all of this or keep it analog? Yeah, we are asking ourselves the same questions, too! Season 2 of the podcast premiers with this mini-episode where Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson tackle one of our greatest challenges: organization. We discuss a system called ‘The Legacy Binder’ to simplify life admin - the medical, legal, end-of-life-planning, etc. and hopefully this can help us ALL make caregiving a little less stressful and more manageable when all of our shit is in one place. Did we mention how amazing scanner apps are? This episode isn’t deep but it is helpful! Takeaways: Creating the “Legacy Binder”: Put together both a physical binder and digital folder with all of these important things! You can create this for both your aging parents and your own family. Digital Folder: Use a cloud service like Google Drive, Dropbox or iCloud. Make sure to keep things password protected for safe keeping! Get yourself a Scan App: Scan Ace or Scan is what we use! Folders can include: Personal Information Financial Information Legal Information Medical Information Digital Information + Password Home Information End of Life Wishes Links and Resources: Care Out Loud - Use their Conversation Cards , Caregiving Cheat Sheets + Caregiver Resources - all in one place! Chapters: 00:00 Document Organization Strategies 01:15 There's so much paperwork: How do we get ourselves organized? 02:47 Analog vs Digital Organization - Or make it a combo! 09:54 Category Tips for Organizing ALL the Info 17:44 Category Tips Continued 22:17 Starting the Conversation with Parents 25:23 Care Out Loud Resource for Caregivers 28:59 Outro
Does it feel like time is fragile with your loved one? We do too. The truth is, none of us know how much or little time we have left with one another. For our Season 1 finale, we don’t just go deep, we go to THERAPY with our friend, Stephanie March . (We highly encourage you to take a read through her popular substack, Pickle .) Stephanie shares her story - and her personal journey - of saying goodbye to her mother Brigitte, who we all called Oma, who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given six months to live. This is not an episode of fear or despair, but rather of light, love, the little things - and being brave enough to truly celebrate the time we have! We also touch on leading our children through the loss of a loved one and why we are all a part of ‘The long goodbye’. Grab your Kleenex and come laugh and cry with us through this episode! It’s a journey you won’t forget! Takeaways: Whether we are caregiving for aging parents or facing a terminal illness, how can we celebrate the time we have? It’s the small things in life that matter the most in the end. How can we practice staying present and having connection through aging or a terminal diagnosis? Death merch is a very cool thing. Death nesting is also a very real part of the process. Are we all in ‘The Long Goodbye?’ Legacy is about carrying forward the stories and values of those we love. How do we raise our kids to learn about death and loss when we’re sandwiched? Continuing the celebration at a memorial - in a fun way. Links + Resources: Subscribe to Pickle by Stephanie March on Substack. Chapters 00:00 Season Finale Intro 02:40 The Story of Brigitte von Haken and her final gift 08:19 Facing Terminal Illness with Grace 13:35 Death Merch 15:50 Carrying out your loved one's wishes - even when they're not your own 16:21 Navigating Death and DNR Conversations 18:38 Honoring a Mother's Legacy 23:01 Celebrating the time we have - What matters most? 31:45 Guiding our children through aging and death when we're in The Sandwich Generation 42:42 The long goodbye to the final goodbye 57:25 Let the Celebration continue - Planning the Memorial in a *cool* way 01:03:20 The After-Party Crash of Death Burnout for Caregivers 01:06:13 Change + Living Life to the fullest - because we are ALL in The Long Goodbye 01:09:50 The Gift of Being Yourself 01:10:23 Rapid Fire Questions with Stephanie March 01:13:05 Cheers to Season 1 and Oma: Simplex Munditiis! 01:13:46 Reflections on the Journey and Future Aspirations 01:14:58 Outro
We can all relate to the chaos of the holiday season and when you’re in The Sandwich Generation, things can feel…extra tricky. You’re packing up the strollers, the walkers and packing diaper bags for both the young and old - ah! Yes! The Holidays! In this episode, hosts Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank talk about the hilarious predicaments of the holiday logistics when you’re caregiving, along with generational and religious differences, sentimental holiday traditions and even a visit from Santa! You heard right - Santa. We will also leave you with some tips and tricks that we can all use as we approach this holiday season! Yes - it’s an episode for us all! Takeaways Things feel mighty tricky during the holidays when you’re Sandwiched! There are a lot of logistics, diaper bags, walkers and snacks packed for everyone. Emotions run high during holiday gatherings. The torch has been passed - and now it is our time to carry on or start new traditions. Consider hosting your holiday early - when the kids and grandparents' energy levels are the best - or before the sugar crash. Outsource that shit! The meal, the shopping, whatever you need to do! Happy Holidays - I’m setting boundaries this year! All that matters is our time together. What would you add to our holiday survival guide? Chapters 00:00 The Holiday Chaos when you're in The Sandwich Generation 04:22 Robyn's Real Life Hallmark Story of Chrismukkah 08:18 Nostalgia and the Holidays - How did our parents do it all? 10:51 Eliesa's Christmas Tradition: Being Santa and the Elf 11:35 The Santa Legacy 16:47 Passing the Torch: When a new generation leads the Holiday 20:54 HO HO HO! A visit from SANTA! 25:37 Incorporating Parents in Holiday Celebrations 26:24 The Sandwich Generation Holiday Survival Tips! 35:09 Segment: To Laugh or Cry 37:34 Continued: The Sandwich Generation Holiday Survival Tips!
For caregivers who have watched a loved one decline from the terrible diseases, such as Alzheimer’s, Dementia, Cancer; the question is often asked, “Will this happen to me? Is there anything I can do to prevent this?” If you are in The Sandwich Generation, you also know that finding time for self care is hard ( See Episode 4: Self Care is a SCAM! ). Suddenly we see ourselves shifting - we are setting our vanity aside and health and wellness have become about preserving our bodies and MINDS for aging - and living in the now! In this episode we welcome Rachel Daugherty of BootyandBrains.co who has built something truly remarkable and made the internet buzz about - gasp - brain health! She’s a sandwiched parent who has ushered her own mother through a fraught battle with Alzheimer's - and built us all a resource on both educating and empowering our bodies and minds! Rachel is inspiring hundreds of thousands of people and we are lucky to have her with us today! Links and Resources: @bootyandbrains.co - Follow Rachel, her knowledge and hilarity here on her instagram account! BootyandBrains.co - Sign up for Rachel’s class. A clear guided path to reducing your risk of Alzheimer's by building sustainable daily habits. Momentous - A Rachel-endorsed brand for Creatine and Fish Oil supplements. (Code B&B for 20% off) Only 3% of Alzheimer's cases are based exclusively on genetics. See the study here. Dementia Prevention, Intervention and Care Article - Read all about it here. Research and Progress from The Alzheimer’s Association Takeaways It's not just about working out for vanity’s sake anymore; it's about holistic, long term health. Caregiving changes our perspective on our own health. Alzheimer's prevention is largely about lifestyle choices. Just because Alzheimer’s affected your loved one, doesn’t automatically mean it will happen to you. We can make small changes - in our diet and movement - that make a big impact on our health overall and play a part in Alzheimer’s prevention. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Rachel Daugherty of BootyandBrains.co 02:03 Rachel's Personal Journey with Caregiving and Alzheimer's 08:14 Building a Business out of grief - and one that impacts everyone 14:34 Our brains, our bodies and the science behind Alzheimer's prevention 29:04 The boring basics of self care that make a BIG difference 31:35 There is hope in Alzheimer's prevention 34:26 How being a caregiver gives you perspective on your own health 39:39 Giving your body 'equipment' for aging 42:05 "My health is bigger than me" - Talking to your kids about brain health and o
Almost everyone knows someone who has Alzheimer’s Disease. For many of us in The Sandwich Generation, this diagnosis was also the moment we became caregivers for our loved ones. But it’s all so confusing - is it Alzheimer’s? Is it Dementia? How do I bring up this conversation with my parents? Am I genetically dispositioned to get this too? WTF! In this episode, co-hosts Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank have an incredibly candid and informative conversation with Dr. Elizabeth Edgerly , Senior Director of Community Programs and Services at the Alzheimer’s Association . Dr. Edgerly shares her personal story of walking alongside her mother with Lewy Body Dementia, along with answering all our questions - and giving HOPE to the future of Alzheimer’s. This episode is for us all - what we can do for Alzheimer's prevention, knowledge about the latest groundbreaking treatments and most importantly - how we, as caregivers, can bring humanity and Person Centered Care to our loved ones! Takeaways The difference between Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Getting the correct diagnosis is crucial for treatment. What to do when you notice cognitive changes in your parent. Explaining the early, middle and late stages of Alzheimer’s. Lifestyle changes can significantly impact brain health and reduce risk. Genetic factors play a role in Alzheimer's risk, but lifestyle can mitigate this. Hormonal changes in women may increase Alzheimer's risk and with caregiving, it’s a double whammy. Support resources are available for caregivers and those diagnosed at ALZ.org . Links and Resources: Alzheimer’s Association Website The 10 Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s Worksheet My ALZ Journey - a new app brought to you by the Alzheimer's Association that puts all of their resources in one easy place for people who are first diagnosed The Empowered Caregiver - Support Groups, Local Chapters and Online Community for caregivers to those with Alzheimer’s and Dementia. 24/7 Helpline - Yes, this helpline is still a thing AND a useful tool when you need help directly in the moment! A professional staff can guide you through all of your questions, day or night! Trial Match - Are you interested in being a part of a clinical research study? See if you qualify and what studies are happening now! Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Elizabeth Edgerly 25:03 The Comfort of Nostalgia: Peanut M&Ms and Family Bonds 27:27 Preserving Dignity 30:36 Early, Middle and Late Stages of Alzheimer's 35:12 The Importance of Early Diagnosis 38:59 Emerging Treatments and Blood Tests for Alzheimer's 45:54 Understanding Amyloid and Neurofibrillary Tangles 53:47 Hormonal Health and Alzheimer's 01:00:52 Resources for Alzheimer's Caregivers 01:04:02 Real Talk
Downsizing and moving your aging parents is one of the hardest tasks of all time. Or maybe your loved one has already passed and you are tasked with selling a home and going through a lifetime of belongings. It’s. Brutal. Seriously, it’s the definition of overwhelm. Where do you begin? In this episode, we welcome guest Alli Rubin who is a professional moving manager and a true ‘easy button’ when it comes to tackling this enormous task. Alli shares actionable tips on how to approach going through all of the stuff along with a thoughtful conversation about how our objects do hold meaning and the way we can honor the past while finding closure and moving on. It’s a good one, welcome to The Sandwich Generation Pod! Takeaways The difference between a Hoarder and a Saver - we all think our parents are hoarders, but are they really? It’s a gift to move your parents while they are still alive - start the conversations and process early! Our objects, our things and our stuff hold meaning. They tell stories. Let's honor that while also downsizing and guest Alli Rubin provides actionable tips to dealing with all of the ‘stuff’. How to make the new place feel like home. How to keep objects for future generations and remember our loved ones. The difference between hiring a professional mover vs junk removal - and the realistic costs. How our objects can live on and give meaning to others! Working with Siblings and creating boundaries and deadlines around the moving process! Links and Resources Get in touch with Alli Rubin: allirubin@hotmail.com **The Following resources are based in Minnesota** Estate Sales Minnesota PRISM MPLS - Donate to the Shop for Change Thrift Shop and Marketplace Food Shelf. SAVERS - Declutter Responsibly. STEP - Accepts donations for food and clothing. Bridging - Accepts Furniture, housewares, linens, small appliances, electronics, mirrors, artwork and pictures. JFCS Hag Sameach Program - provides personalized holiday gifts, ritual items, and household necessities to families and individuals who are in need. Astound Video - Converting VHS, Photographs, CD's, and Video Tape transfers to digital format. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guests 01:12 Meet Alli Rubin 04:39 When is the right time to call a mover? 14:19 Hoarder vs Saver 19:06 Helping families downsize 30:52 Our objects hold meaning 34:42 The energy our objects hold and passing that along 38:30 The difference between hiring a mover and junk removal 43:15 Estate Sales and Resellers 46:45 Setting Boundaries and Timelines 51:55 Start the moving conversation early, make the calls and plan 56:12 Outro 56:53 Real Talk
Have you ever been asked by a friend, “What can I do to help?” and you go blank?! Yeah, us too. Being in The Sandwich Generation is a lot. And it’s oftentimes hard for our friends and ourselves to communicate just how lonely it feels and how much we need our friends. In this episode hosts Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson discuss the challenges of maintaining friendships, having the capacity and some great tips on how we can accept help and love from our friends. Lets learn together on how to call upon our village, so we can feel a little less alone! Takeaways Life can feel heavy and lonely when you’re in the Sandwich Generation and it’s oftentimes hard to share your true feelings with friends. We need our friendships, now more than ever - but how do we ask for help? Friends can show support in simple, meaningful ways Friendship is essential and can be a source of strength during tough times. It's important to include friends in the caregiving journey, even if it's just sharing updates. Friendship is essential and can be a source of strength during tough times Recognizing the efforts of friends and expressing gratitude strengthens relationships. Chapters 00:00 Intro to Friendships 01:17 It feels lonely when you're 'Sandwiched' 06:04 The importance of work friendships 09:26 It takes a village 12:59 Things aren't as they used to be - and that's okay! 19:57 What can I do for you? 28:25 To Laugh or Cry Segment 30:15 Examples of how friends have shown up 37:42 Keeping our Parent's friendships alive and well 42:51 A recap and Survival Guide to Friendships in the Sandwich Generation 47:13 Outro
Raise your hand if you’re a caregiver who has needed to manage your parent’s finances and you think - oh F*ck - this is A LOT more difficult than I expected?!? We think everyone in the room right now feels this way! No matter how full or empty the bank account is, opening the books to your parents finances, managing the cost of care and navigating the emotions of money is a journey that is riddled with feelings. In this episode, we welcome Shannon Foreman, CEO and Founder of Forethought Planning . Shannon is a three-time-sandwiched caregiver herself and has helped countless families walk through the money conversations. We are SO grateful for Shannon’s wisdom in this podcast as we dive into conversations around what legacy really means, long term care insurances, Medicare vs Medicaid and most importantly - how to bring up ‘the money talk’ with your parents, while bringing empathy and humanity to the conversation. “Money and Health are so important, intertwined and personal. Just like you need a good bedside manner for health, you have to have a good bedside manner for money too.” - Shannon Foreman Links + Resources: Forethought Planning Podcast: For more deep dives and advice from Shannon Foreman, check out her podcast! Here is a link for Long Term Care Specific Episodes! Cost of Care Quote : Use this site to calculate the cost of care in your area! *Minnesota* Medical Assistance *Minnesota* Senior Linkage Line Schromen Law, LLC - Legal Professionals who specialize in Medical Assistance Planning Types of Long-Term Care Insurance & Alternatives A. Traditional LTC Insurance Annual premiums, use-it-or-lose-it Health underwriting required Often less flexible B. Hybrid LTC (Life Insurance + LTC Rider) Permanent life insurance with LTC benefits If care is never needed, legacy benefit remains Usually more expensive upfront, but asset-based C. Annuities with LTC Benefits Income-producing tool with care coverage if needed Can be repurposed from existing retirement accounts D. Alternatives to Insurance Self-funding (for high-net-worth clients) Medicaid Planning (asset spend-down, trusts) Family caregiving (and its financial/emotional costs) Chapters 00:00 Navigating Finances in Caregiving 06:19 Starting Difficult Conversations 11:52 Understanding Legal Documents 18:23 The Reality of Long-Term Care Insurance 24:25 How has Financial Planning Changed for today's Generation 25:56 Medicare vs. Medicaid Explained 30:53 The Challenges of Medical Assistance 35:52 Leaving a Legacy and what does that mean 39:20 Conversations to plan for a better future for our generation 41:17 Medicaid and Elder Waiver 44:18 Planning for our own futures 47:13 Is it ever too late to hire a professional? 50:00 The first steps in getting your shit together 53:04 Having Empathy and Humanity to the hard conversations 57:25 Real Talk
How the f*ck am I supposed to fit in self care? This is a question we ask ourselves all. of. the. Time. (especially while living this ‘sandwiched’ lifestyle). With the algorithms feeding us endless articles about all the ways we ‘should’ be doing self care, frankly, it all feels like a scam. In this episode, we (Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank) open up about the frustrations around taking care of ourselves while being caregivers for both our children and parents. We give some realistic examples of how we fit in tiny moments of joy that help us cope with the stress, along with a deeper conversation on how watching our parents age has had an effect on our own health journeys. And did we mention we talk about making CPAPs sexy?! That’s right - welcome to The Sandwich Generation Pod! Takeaways Self care feels like a scam because there is NO time people! Being ‘sandwiched’ and watching our parents age has only made us reflect on our own health journey - because we want to stay as healthy as possible for our children as they grow! Taking vitamins might be all the self care there is for the day! Shoutout to CPAP machines and amazing sleep! CPAPs are COOL, y’all! Finding radical acceptance is important for our mental well being when we’re in the midst of caregiving. Everything you do each day is enough. Journaling, therapy, indulging in a great coffee / cocktail, nutrient dense food are all things we’ve found as small joys along the way. Creating boundaries around your time from caregiving is self care. It’s okay to just survive some days; recognizing that is part of self care. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 00:47 The Reality of Self-Care in Busy Lives 01:57 Our Personal Self-Care Practices and Challenges 07:09 Making CPAP Machines Sexy and how Sleep is EVERYTHING 15:06 How bedtime with our kids became the best time 19:53 Our own Health Awakening from watching our parents age 27:11 Prioritizing our health for our own aging 29:38 Setting Boundaries: Caring for Family 33:54 Practical Hacks: Self-Care in Everyday Life 37:52 Radical Acceptance: What we are doing is enough 40:35 Outro
Sibling dynamics can be tricky - no matter how loving or estranged you are. Then add in kids, aging parents, living across the country and having to make some big, real-time, decisions together as you begin caregiving for your loved ones. Holy shit - it’s a lot. In this episode, we welcome Lisa Frank, Robyn’s sister to the show. The Frank sisters talk candidly about the complexities in navigating care for their aging parents, while managing their own families and being sisters. From living states apart, to dividing and conquering and overcoming our own bullshit to focus on their parent’s wellbeing - we talk about it all. Eliesa also chimes in with some perspective on being an only child and we share some insights on how to support one another - and our parents - while being siblings in The Sandwich Generation. In this episode we let the emotions flow, because this is real life! Takeaways How to show up for your siblings while caregiving: Build your “Cabinet”, either with your siblings or with trusted family and friends who you can get advice from in making all of the decisions. Also, build a “Cabinet” of your parent’s friends who can continue to reach out and support them. Divide and Conquer with your siblings - and recognize what each other’s strengths are. Talk about your boundaries and triggers with your siblings. Check in with your siblings - how are they doing in their lives? How is their mental health? Above all, put your own bullshit aside and focus on the wellbeing of the loved one you are caregiving for. How to show up for your peers who are in The Sandwich Generation: Send a text checking in Delivering some groceries for their parents Having a visit with their loved one House cleaning - for your friends, for their parents or loved one. Offer to help with simple house projects for their parents or loved one. Chapters 00:00 Navigating Caregiving with Siblings 01:11 Introducing the Frank Sisters 03:04 Build your Cabinet of People to Help 06:11 Taking Care of your Parents while living in different States 09:52 Feeling Guilt 11:02 Being on the same page with your sibling 16:27 Setting an example for your children 19:04 Stepping up for your sibling when they need it most 21:52 Setting boundaries and noticing triggers 27:08 Showing up for our friends who are Sandwiched 28:20 Our parents need their friends too 31:50 Checking In with your Sibling 35:16 What are you most proud of each other for? 41:30 Being an "only" child and raising "only" children 47:39 Real Talk Segment