EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids
Published by Dr. Taylor Day
Education
Kids & Family
Self-Improvement
Parenting
welcome to a parenting space actually designed for YOU! where you can get answers about navigating a life that includes autism. I’m Dr. Tay, a licensed child psychologist specializing in autism and neuroaffirming care. I have supported 100s of autistic children and their families and have been in the autism field for over a decade. on this podcast, we focus on supporting your autistic child AND your whole family, including you! every topic is on the table, and your questions (which you can submit through my social media) inspire the episodes created. I share some of my personal stories growing up with a brother who was diagnosed at 23 months of age as well as feature other families' stories so you know you are not navigating this journey alone. this is a space for you to be SEEN. HEARD. SUPPORTED. and get reputable and reliable information about autism instead of searching Google endlessly for hours. I am so dang grateful that you are here. ***disclaimer: not clinical advice, for educational purposes only*** subscribe to this podcast by hitting the plus or follow button so you don't miss an episode.
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 summer can bring up a lot for families of autistic kids: disrupted routines, shifting expectations, more time together, camp logistics, screen time questions, recovery needs, and the constant pressure to figure out what your child needs right now. in this episode, dr. tay shares five reflective questions to help you pause, reassess, and create more clarity around your family’s summer rhythm. rather than focusing on a perfect schedule, this episode invites you to think about your child’s nervous system needs, your own regulation, the expectations you may be carrying, and what you actually want summer to feel like for your family. and even if summer is already more than halfway over — or almost over— these questions can still help you make the remaining weeks feel more grounded, flexible, and connected. in this episode, you'll hear: how to identify whether your child needs more structure, autonomy, or recovery why anchor points can create predictability without becoming rigid how subconscious expectations can create disappointment or dysregulation why your own regulation matters during summer small ways to build self-care and support into your days how to define what you want summer to feel like for your family how the Summer Rhythm Masterclass can help you create a flexible rhythm that works for your child’s nervous system timestamps 00:00 introduction: reflecting on summer and key questions 01:00 assessing your child's needs: structure, autonomy, or recovery 02:22 creating predictability with anchor points 03:17 shifting expectations and modeling flexibility 04:34 parent self-regulation and self-care strategies 09:21 envisioning your ideal summer experience 12:18 using AI to develop a summer rhythm 14:07 the summer rhythm masterclass and mindset shifts 15:29 resources, support, and building your summer plan 17:27 conclusion: embracing flexibility and reflection resources ⚡️ Summer Rhythm Masterclass — a $17 private podcast training and companion guide to help you understand your child’s nervous system, identify whether they need more structure, autonomy, or recovery, and create a flexible rhythm that works for your family ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 autism does not look one way. in this episode, dr. tay walks through several common autism profiles she sees in clinical practice, including more nuanced and high-masking presentations that are often missed, misunderstood, or explained away as anxiety, behavior, personality, or “just being sensitive.” through six composite profiles, dr. tay breaks down how autistic traits can show up across children, toddlers, adolescents, and late-diagnosed adults. you’ll hear examples of differences in social communication, sensory needs, rigidity, masking, emotion regulation, language development, and special interests. this episode is especially helpful if you’re trying to better understand your child’s autistic traits, exploring your own neurotype, or trying to recognize autism beyond the stereotypical presentations. in this episode, you'll hear: how high-masking and nuanced autism presentations can be missed how anxiety, behavior, sensory differences, and autism can overlap what autism may look like in verbally fluent children how demand avoidance and advanced language can mask support needs what early delays, sensory needs, and gestalt language processing can look like why literal thinking and emotional intensity may point to autistic traits how autism can present in late-diagnosed adults, especially parents why diagnostic patterns matter more than one isolated trait timestamps 00:00 introduction to autism profiles and why they matter 01:52 understanding the diversity of autism presentations 05:07 profile a: anxious verbally fluent child 08:57 profile b: demand avoidant adolescent 15:09 profile c: preschooler with early delays 19:12 profile d: minimally verbal toddler with gestalt language 22:46 profile e: highly literal and emotionally intense child 25:50 profile f: the late-diagnosed, intellectually intense adult 30:14 summary and resources for understanding autism traits resources ⚡️ Autism Traits Guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource that breaks down autism diagnostic criteria and shares examples of how traits can show up across ages, support needs, and presentations ⚡️ episodes 4, 110, and 114 are referenced in this episode ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode is a behind-the-scenes look at the next evolution of dr. tay’s work. she shares why she is pivoting parts of her business — not because she is stepping away from the work, but because she is leaning more deeply into the parts of the work that feel most aligned, impactful, and connected to her values. she reflects on her journey from academia to private practice, the pivotal moments that shaped Dr. Tay Concierge Clinical Care, and why she is now creating more depth within her clinical services while also building more accessible educational resources for families. this episode is also about trusting the process, listening to intuition, taking bold steps before everything is fully clear, and building a business that supports both the families she serves and her own nervous system capacity. in this episode, you'll hear: why dr. tay is pivoting her business and what is guiding that shift the story behind how her clinical practice began how leaving academia shaped the work she does now why aligned work matters for clinical impact and sustainability how dr. tay is thinking about deeper support after an autism diagnosis why she is creating an evaluation toolkit for families navigating the diagnostic process how in-home intensives may support families in a more immediate, real-life way why scalable resources and high-touch clinical care can both matter the connection between parental mental health, intuition, and nervous system capacity what is coming next in dr. tay’s resource ecosystem timestamps 00:00 behind the scenes: why dr. tay is pivoting her business 02:26 origin story of dr. tay’s practice and business milestones 06:28 the power of seizing pivotal moments and trusting instincts 10:45 the ongoing evolution and diversification of clinical and educational offerings 13:36 why she’s shifting toward deeper family support and educational resources 16:36 creating a comprehensive evaluation toolkit for families 20:01 building a pathway for families pre- and post-diagnosis 22:21 trusting your intuition and planning for future life stages 25:33 the role of intuition and external nudges in business growth 28:12 connecting with the community through social media and resources resources ⚡️ Autism Traits Guide — learn how autistic traits can show up across ages, support needs, and presentations so you can better understand what you’re noticing ⚡️ Summer Rhythm Masterclass — learn how to understand your child’s nervous system, identify their unique summer profile, and create a flexible rhythm that works for your family ⚡️ Couples Masterclass — support for couples navigating parenting, communication, conflict patterns, and the mental load of raising an autistic child ⚡️ High Masking Autism CE Training — continuing education training for clinicians who want to better understand and identify high-masking autism presentations ⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com . schedule a consult call and we can chat about the Immersive Evaluations and In-Home Intensives. ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes updates, and parenting insights
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 if you've ever found yourself researching, planning, making lists... but still feeling stuck, this episode is for you. whether it's making changes to screen time, starting therapy, sending the email you've been avoiding, or finally taking the first step toward a recommendation, the hardest part of behavior change is almost always getting started. in this episode, dr. tay shares a theme that unexpectedly emerged during a group therapy session: thinking isn't action. she explores why overthinking often keeps parents stuck, how to create momentum through small, meaningful steps, and why progress doesn't require the perfect plan... it simply requires getting started. in this episode, you'll hear: why getting started is often the hardest part of behavior change how overthinking and over-researching can keep parents stuck practical ways to decide what first step to take the difference between researching and creating real change how to build momentum through small, intentional actions examples of applying this mindset to screen time, therapy, school, and everyday parenting decisions timestamps 0:00 the hardest part is getting started 1:34 overthinking vs. action 2:37 example with overthinking screen time and over-accommodation 7:22 three strategies for getting unstuck and creating momentum 12:52 over-researching as a form of self-sabotage 16:19 call-to-action to do one thing NOW! resources ⚡️ listen to the screentime masterclass by joining EVOLVE the membership ⚡️ explore dr. tay's clinical services and other resources at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education and parenting insights
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 if summer has already felt harder than you expected, you're not alone. many parents assume the solution is more structure, a better schedule, or keeping their child busier. but what if the real challenge isn't the schedule at all? in this episode, dr. tay explores why summer often feels so dysregulating for autistic kids and their families, how to identify what your child's nervous system is actually asking for, and why flexibility—not rigidity—is often the missing piece. you'll also learn about dr. tay's framework of the structure seeker, autonomy craver, and shape shifter, and how understanding your child's unique profile can help you create a summer rhythm that actually works. in this episode, you'll hear: why adding more structure isn't always the solution how to recognize your child's underlying nervous system needs the difference between rigidity and flexibility in parenting introduction dr. tay's three structure profiles: structure seeker, autonomy craver, and shape shifter why matching expectations to your child's capacity can change your entire summer how to create a flexible summer rhythm that works for your family timestamps 00:00 why summer feels so hard for many families 03:40 understanding your child's nervous system needs 06:02 when more structure creates more rigidity 09:02 introducing the summer rhythm framework 12:33 looking beneath behavior to identify the real need 16:21 letting go of the "perfect" summer 17:46 matching your child's capacity throughout the summer resources ⚡️ grab the Summer Rhythm Masterclass for only $17 — learn how to understand your child's nervous system, identify their unique structure profile, and create a flexible rhythm that works for your family (note: if you are part of EVOLVE the membership , you have access to this masterclass in your private podcast feed) ⚡️ explore Dr. Tay's clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow @the.dr.tay on Instagram for practical autism education and parenting insights
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 this episode is a little different... but if you're parenting an autistic child, it may be one of the more important conversations we can have. your health is part of the foundation that supports your family, and that includes your hormonal health. using her own health journey as a starting point, dr. tay explores why understanding your cycle, hormones, and overall health may be one of the most overlooked parts of supporting yourself as a parent. this episode is an invitation to get curious about your body, recognize patterns in your mood, energy, and regulation, and advocate for yourself when something feels off—because your health deserves the same attention and compassion you so often give everyone else. in this episode, you'll hear: why understanding your cycle can improve self-awareness and regulation how hormonal health can influence mood, energy, and parenting capacity the overlap between hormonal health and neurodivergence why tracking your cycle can help you recognize meaningful patterns how Dr. Tay's own health journey inspired her to better understand her body why trusting your instincts and advocating for your own health matters timestamps 00:00 why hormonal health matters for parents of autistic kids 03:05 advocating for yourself when something feels off 06:18 understanding your cycle and recognizing your patterns 10:00 why your health is part of your parenting foundation 15:37 the overlap between hormones and neurodivergence 18:03 trusting your instincts and getting curious about your body 21:18 your health matters too resources ⚡️ explore Dr. Tay's clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ follow me on Instagram and share your thoughts about this episode @the.dr.tay
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 your child is in therapy. you trust the therapist. you're showing up consistently. you're investing time, energy, and money. so why does it feel like nothing is changing at home? in this episode, dr. tay discusses one of the most common frustrations families experience: seeing progress in the therapy room but struggling to see those same skills transfer into everyday life. you'll learn why this happens, the role of generalization, how family dynamics and nervous systems impact change, and the one thing that can help therapists better support your family when things feel stuck. if you've ever found yourself wondering, "why isn't therapy working?" this episode is for you. in this episode, you'll hear: why therapy progress doesn't always transfer into daily life the difference between learning a skill and generalizing a skill how the home environment differs from the therapy room the role of parent regulation and the family ecosystem common reasons families get stuck despite having a great therapist practical ways to collaborate more effectively with your child's therapist a behind-the-scenes look at a new intensive support model dr. tay is exploring timestamps 00:00 why therapy can feel stuck, even with a great therapist 04:41 the hidden challenge: skills aren't transferring home 08:40 nervous systems, co-regulation, and the realities of parenting 12:33 why changing behavior is harder than most people realize 13:39 identifying what's different between therapy and home 14:50 the family ecosystem and why supporting parents matters 18:34 radical honesty: the secret sauce for getting unstuck 25:48 a new vision for in-home intensive support 28:40 how clinical work creates more accessible resources for families 33:32 who intensive support may be right for resources ⚡️ want to learn more about this in-home intensive model? email me at taylor@drtaylorday.com with the word "Intensive" in the subject line ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's other clinical services offered as well as her educational membership EVOLVE at drtaylorday.com ⚡️ miscellaneous resources referenced in this episode >> -episodes 189 and 215 - couples masterclass (or included for free as part of the EVOLVE membership) - autism traits guide
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 it's pride month, and if you're parenting an autistic child, this conversation matters. whether your child has expressed anything about their identity or not, understanding the overlap between autism and LGBTQIA+ identities is important. it's about creating a home where your child knows they can come to you with questions, curiosity, and self-discovery. in this episode, Dr. Tay explores the research behind the overlap between autism and LGBTQIA+ identities, why this matters for mental health, and what parents can do to create a safe and affirming environment. in this episode, you'll hear: what the research says about the overlap between autism and LGBTQIA+ identities why autistic individuals are more likely to question social norms around gender and sexuality why acceptance at home is one of the strongest protective factors for mental health how autistic people often approach identity differently than neurotypical peers the role of authenticity, self-discovery, and questioning social norms why affirming your full identity is just as important as affirming your child's neurotype practical ways to create a safe space for conversations about identity and belonging timestamps 00:00 why this conversation matters for parents of autistic kids 02:30 understanding the overlap between autism and LGBTQIA+ identities 09:49 why younger generations are talking about identity differently 16:30 creating a safe landing place for your child 17:43 why autistic individuals may approach identity differently 24:57 what happens when only certain parts of a child feel accepted 27:23 the mental health impact of acceptance and belonging 30:15 practical ways to support your child without having all the answers 32:03 what it really means to be neurodiversity affirming 35:15 the question every parent should ask themselves resources ⚡️ LGBTQIA+ resources Twainbow — an online community and information hub created to support autistic LGBTQIA+ individuals and provide identity-affirming resources Autistic LGBTQIA+ | I CAN Network — peer mentoring groups for autistic teens and young adults who identify as LGBTQIA+, including age-matched peer spaces and autistic mentors Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN) — a nonprofit organization providing advocacy, community, and resources for autistic women, nonbinary individuals, and trans femmes The Trevor Project — crisis support, education, and mental health resources for LGBTQIA+ youth and their families PFLAG — resources, education, and support for parents and families navigating conversations around sexual orientation and gender identity ⚡️ listen to autistic LGBTQIA+ voices — seek out autistic self-advocates sharing their lived experiences with gender, sexuality, identity, and belonging ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's current clinical services offered as well as her educational membership at drtaylorday.com
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 communication is not only about spoken words. and for many autistic individuals, especially non-speaking or minimally speaking individuals, the challenge is not a lack of thoughts, understanding, or desire to communicate. it may be that their body does not reliably do what their brain wants it to do. in this episode, dr. tay shares reflections after observing several Spelling to Communicate (S2C) sessions, including sessions with open spellers who were able to describe their own experiences of motor planning, communication, and brain-body disconnect. this conversation is about more than one communication modality. it is an invitation to think differently about communication, apraxia, motor planning, autonomy, consent, and what it means to presume competence. even if your child uses complex spoken language, this episode offers powerful insight into why communication can still break down, why behavior may not always mean what we think it means, and why giving time, space, and access matters. a special shoutout to Olivia of Brain2Body Therapy (Instagram: @brain2bodytherapy ) and the families who allowed me to observe sessions - I am SO grateful! in this episode, you’ll hear: why communication should not be defined only by spoken language how S2C supports communication through motor planning what apraxia and brain-body disconnect can look like in autistic individuals why some autistic individuals may say one thing while their body or spelling communicates something different how autonomy, agency, and consent can show up in communication work what open spellers can teach us about presuming competence why time, regulation, and a trusted communication partner matter how these lessons apply even when a child has spoken language timestamps 00:00 introduction to Spelling to Communicate (S2C) and why this topic matters 02:08 understanding communication beyond spoken language 05:49 observations from S2C sessions 12:00 autonomy, agency, and consent in communication work 18:08 motor planning, apraxia, and communication challenges 23:48 key insights from open spellers 28:05 when communication does not match what the body is doing 30:20 understanding how much effort communication can take 34:29 the brain-body disconnect and what it can teach us 39:10 navigating consent, autonomy, and “no” 46:53 the importance of time, space, and regulation in learning 51:51 reflections on communication, presuming competence, and learning differently resources ⚡️ listen to episode 132 for more information on S2C and episode 159 to learn more about apraxia ⚡️ learn more about Dr. Tay's current clinical services offered as well as her educational membership at drtaylorday.com
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 traveling with an autistic child can feel overwhelming to even imagine. what if they struggle with the routine change? what if the flight is hard? what if the unpredictability feels too overwhelming for everyone? in this episode, dr. tay reflects on her recent european trip and her thoughts on traveling with autistic children. this episode is a conversation about fear, accommodations, and why having an autistic child does not automatically mean your family can't explore the world. dr. tay discusses how preparation, research, flexibility, and realistic expectations can help families feel more confident trying new experiences, while also honoring their child’s nervous system and support needs. in this episode, you’ll hear: how fear and uncertainty can quietly stop families from traveling why research and preparation can make travel feel more manageable practical ways to build accommodations and predictability into trips why flexibility matters more than a perfectly structured itinerary how vacations and novel experiences can sometimes support regulation practical accommodations like TSA cares and sunflower lanyards why autistic children deserve opportunities to explore the world too timestamps 00:00 why traveling with your autistic child can feel overwhelming 03:32 understanding fear, uncertainty, and routine changes 06:58 travel, budgeting, and accessibility realities 12:10 planning, prep, and reducing stress while traveling 18:21 balancing flexibility with structure on vacation 21:21 the mindset shift that changes everything 25:46 how travel can support growth and regulation 27:28 stories of autistic children thriving while traveling 29:02 final reflections and encouragement for families resources ⚡️ follow our travel account @explore.to.evolve if you want to learn more about travel and logistics ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 one reason autism can be missed in children is the belief that kids “can’t mask.” but they absolutely can. in this episode, dr. tay breaks down what masking can look like in autistic children, including why a child may seem “fine” at school but completely fall apart at home. you’ll learn how masking can be conscious or unconscious, how culture and reinforcement shape behavior, and why subtle signs matter so much during autism evaluations. this episode is especially helpful if you’ve ever wondered why your child seems so different across environments, or if you’ve been told their challenges must be “just behavioral” because they are not showing up everywhere. in this episode, you’ll hear: why autistic children can mask, even at young ages how masking can contribute to delayed or missed autism diagnoses why kids may hold it together all day and then melt down at home the difference between conscious masking and subconscious masking how reinforcement, modeling, and culture, can shape masking behaviors why people pleasing and anxiety often plays a role in masking and self-advocacy what evaluators need to understand when assessing high-masking children how to create safer spaces for kids to unmask and build self-advocacy over time timestamps 00:00 understanding masking in children 02:50 the cycle of masking and rebound effects 05:49 the nuances of masking: conscious vs. unconscious 09:05 cultural influences on masking behaviors 11:52 modeling and reinforcement in masking 15:01 people-pleasing traits and their impact 17:57 the role of anxiety in masking 20:47 evaluation challenges in high-masking individuals 23:52 subtle indicators of autism in masking 26:54 creating safe spaces for unmasking 29:47 empowering self-advocacy in autistic children resources ⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource breaking down autism diagnostic criteria and sharing more in-depth traits, including those in high masking individuals ⚡️ high masking continuing education (CE) training for clinicians ⚡️ learn more about diagnostic evaluations through dr. tay concierge clinical care
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 parents of autistic kids are often told, “you need your own support too.” but what happens when traditional talk therapy doesn’t feel like enough or a good fit? or hasn't historically worked? in this episode, dr. tay is joined by dr. carolyn solo, a therapist specializing in EMDR, IFS, ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, and intensive therapy models. together, they explore why parents of neurodivergent kids may carry more chronic stress and nervous system overwhelm than they realize, and why bottom-up therapy approaches can be so helpful. this conversation is not about “fixing” you as a parent. it’s about understanding how your nervous system has been carrying the weight of advocacy, hypervigilance, uncertainty, and caregiving, and what kinds of support may help you show up with more grounding, compassion, and capacity. in this episode, you’ll hear: why parents of neurodivergent kids may experience chronic stress and trauma symptoms how supporting the parent can support the entire family system what IFS is and why “all parts are welcome” fits so naturally with neurodiversity-affirming care how EMDR helps process experiences that continue to activate the nervous system why bottom-up therapies can be helpful when insight alone is not creating change what ketamine-assisted psychotherapy is and how it may support deeper therapeutic work how intensive therapy models can offer a different path for busy, overwhelmed parents why noticing your child’s progress, not just their next goal, can be part of your own healing timestamps 00:00 introduction to alternative therapies for parents of autistic kids 02:54 the journey of a therapist and parent 06:00 understanding trauma in parenting neurodivergent children 09:01 the importance of parental self-care 11:57 exploring internal family systems (IFS) therapy 17:53 the benefits of bottom-up therapies 22:50 understanding eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and its mechanism 29:09 exploring the intensive model of therapy 31:29 the role of ketamine in therapy 39:22 mindset shifts for parents of neurodiverse children resources ⚡️ connect with dr. carolyn solo + learn more about her therapy approach here plus follow on Instagram @ integritas_wellness_recovery ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 one of the biggest misconceptions parents hear is: “they’re too young to diagnose autism.” but research tells us something very different. in this episode, dr. tay breaks down what we actually know about early autism diagnosis, including how autism can present in toddlers, why early signs are often missed or explained away, and what parents should be paying attention to when something feels different. you’ll also learn why the phrase “wait and see” can sometimes do more harm than good and how to think about timing, evaluations, and support through a neurodiversity-affirming lens. in this episode, you’ll hear: why autism can be reliably diagnosed much earlier than many parents are told how to recognize patterns that may point toward autism in toddlers why “wait and see” advice can sometimes delay meaningful support how an early diagnosis can shift understanding, accommodations, and access to services what it looks like to advocate for your child when something feels different timestamps 00:00 what age can autism actually be diagnosed? 07:22 why early diagnosis matters 12:26 “mindful waiting” vs. “wait and see” 20:03 access to supports and services 24:02 early autism signs in toddlers 34:10 trusting your instincts and advocating early resources ⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource breaking down autism diagnostic criteria and sharing more in-depth traits ⚡️ nuanced discussions on ABA: episodes 26, 59, 128, and 131 ⚡️ learn more about diagnostic evaluations for young children through dr. tay concierge clinical care ⚡️study referenced in today's episode ( Pierce et al., 2019 )
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 for a lot of parents, the autism journey doesn’t stop with their child’s diagnosis. at some point… it starts to feel personal. you hear the questions during an evaluation, you start learning more about autism, and suddenly you’re thinking: “this sounds like me…” in this episode, dr. tay walks through what this process actually looks like — why it’s so common, why it can feel complicated, and how it can impact not just you, but your relationship and your entire family dynamic. because this isn’t just about understanding your child. it’s about understanding yourself and what that means for how you move forward. resources ⚡️ other episodes referenced in this episode: 180, 189, 208 ⚡️ autism traits guide — a resource to help you understand diagnostic criteria and recognize patterns across ages and presentations ⚡️ neurodiverse communication masterclass with Dr. Ali — tools and strategies to support communication and connection in your relationship ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services , including booking a free consult call for our adult evaluations in this episode, you’ll hear: why so many parents begin questioning their own neurotype after their child’s diagnosis how this realization often unfolds (and why it doesn’t always happen right away) the likelihood of parents being neurodivergent and why this matters the grief that can come with realizing you weren’t supported or accommodated in the same way how self-exploration can feel both clarifying and overwhelming where to start if you’re exploring your own neurotype (including self-identification vs evaluation) why understanding diagnostic criteria is key — not just relying on social media why loved ones may resist or struggle to understand this process how this shift can impact your relationship dynamic and communication why many couples feel more disconnected during this stage and what’s actually happening underneath the importance of understanding patterns in communication, not just surface-level conflict how learning new communication tools can support your entire family system timestamps 00:00 when the autism journey starts to feel personal 03:12 are parents of autistic kids more likely to be neurodivergent? 05:28 how parents begin exploring their own neurotype 09:25 should you consider an adult autism evaluation? 10:40 what happens when others don’t understand 16:00 why relationships can feel harder after a diagnosis 20:45 how to start improving communication as a couple
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 if you’ve ever found yourself googling late at night… “is this autism?” and somehow ended up more confused than when you started — you’re not alone. there’s a lot of information out there. and many time it doesn’t help you actually make sense of what you’re seeing in your child. in this episode, dr. tay breaks down the most common questions parents are searching and why those questions often lead to more confusion instead of clarity. you’ll learn how to move beyond one-off traits and start understanding the patterns that actually matter when it comes to autism so you can feel more confident in what you’re noticing and how to advocate for your child. in this episode, you’ll hear: why googling “is this autism?” often leads to more confusion (not clarity) the difference between a developmental delay vs. autism and when to look deeper how to think through “is this autism or something else?” (like ADHD, anxiety, or sensory differences) why no single trait can confirm or rule out autism how autism is identified through patterns , not isolated behaviors what to consider when your child seems “fine at school” but struggles at home how masking and environment can impact what others see (or don’t see) why “wait and see” advice can sometimes delay needed support how to trust your instincts, even when others aren’t concerned how to better articulate what you’re seeing so providers actually listen timestamps 00:00 introduction to common parental questions about autism 05:30 is this autism or just a delay? 08:02 is this autism or something else? 11:54 can my child be autistic and still do x, y, and z? 19:29 they’re fine at school, but not at home — could it still be autism? 23:04 doctors say to wait and see — should i? 27:24 am I overreacting or just anxious? resources from today's episode ⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 resource to help you understand diagnostic criteria, recognize patterns, and advocate with clarity keep learning from dr. tay ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for dr. tay to answer ⚡️learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow on >> instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 if your child is a selective eater… you’ve probably wondered: are they getting the nutrients they actually need? and if not, what are you supposed to do about it? in this episode, Dr. Tay welcomes back registered dietitian Brittyn Coleman to break down one of the most common (and confusing) questions parents have: when to consider supplements, what actually matters nutritionally, and how to make informed decisions without getting lost in the noise. because while selective eating is common in autistic kids, we can't ignore the impact it has on their body, regulation, and overall well-being. this conversation will help you understand when to trust your gut, what to look for, and how to approach supplementation in a way that actually supports your child... without overwhelm. ✨ ORDER BEST PART HERE (USE CODE "DRTAY" FOR 10% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER) ✨ in this episode, you’ll hear: why selective eating is so common in autistic children and how sensory sensitivities play a role how limited diets can lead to nutrient gaps, even when kids are growing “normally” a key marker (the “20 food rule”) to help you decide when to seek additional support how nutrient deficiencies can impact regulation, energy, and overall functioning when supplementation might be helpful and how it fits alongside feeding therapy why bloodwork can be helpful (but shouldn’t be a barrier to getting started) what to actually look for in a high-quality multivitamin why bioavailable nutrients and chelated minerals matter for absorption common pitfalls in supplements (including misleading marketing + hidden ingredients) how to build trust with your child when introducing supplements what makes a supplement safe, effective, and worth considering timestamps 00:00 understanding nutritional concerns for autistic children 05:51 identifying when to seek help 10:50 the role of supplements in nutrition 14:51 navigating nutritional testing and its challenges 17:02 choosing the right supplements for your child 24:52 navigating supplement labels 28:18 understanding nutrient absorption 31:39 building trust in supplementation 34:13 the importance of third-party testing 36:46 the development of Best Part 41:54 empowering parents in nutrition resources from today's episode ⚡️ Use code "DRTAY" to get 10% off of Best Part | sensory-friendly vitamins for kids >> order here . ⚡️ follow Brittyn on Instagram @autismdietitian and Best Part @bestpartkids ⚡️ interested in Brittyn's picky eating membership? learn more here keep learning from Dr. Tay ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for Dr. Tay to answer ⚡️learn more about Dr. Tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow on >> instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 feeling confused about what to do next with your child? most parents assume that means they need more information. more strategies. more answers. but what if that’s actually the thing keeping you stuck? in this episode, we’re talking about why confusion isn’t a problem to fix and how constantly searching for more information can actually create more overwhelm. if you’ve been overthinking, second-guessing, or feeling like you should “know more” by now… this episode will help you slow down, reconnect, and find clarity in a completely different way. in this episode, you’ll hear: why confusion doesn’t mean you’re failing and how it can actually guide your next steps how overconsuming information can keep you stuck in a cycle of overwhelm what it looks like to “slow down to speed up” in your parenting decisions how to ground yourself in what you already know to be true about your child why not all autism parenting content is relevant to you at every stage a simple “bucket” framework to help you organize what to focus on now vs later why going deeper (not wider) is often the key to clarity how to take your next step without needing to have everything figured out timestamps 00:00 embracing confusion in parenting 03:44 finding your rhythm: the beat of parenting 06:47 judgment and acceptance in parenting 09:25 navigating information overload 12:25 understanding different stages of parenting 15:10 actionable takeaways for parents 17:49 creating clarity amidst confusion 20:33 building foundations for future growth 24:02 the journey of self-discovery in parenting resources ⚡️need support in finding your next best steps? join EVOLVE the membership and submit your questions for dr. tay to answer ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ share your insights from this episode with me >> instagram → @the.dr.tay email → tay@drtaycoaching.com
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 April is "autism month" and with it comes more conversations, more content, and more opinions. and while that can be incredibly valuable… it can also feel overwhelming. for many parents, this month brings up a mix of emotions: gratitude, frustration, confusion, and sometimes even pressure to feel a certain way about your child’s diagnosis. in this episode, Dr. Tay breaks down what autism acceptance actually means — beyond the surface-level messaging — and why this concept can feel harder than it sounds. you’ll also hear how to navigate the increased noise during this month, protect your own capacity, and begin to define what acceptance looks like in your real, day-to-day parenting. in this episode, you’ll hear: the difference between autism awareness and autism acceptance (and why both still matter) what “acceptance” actually means from a psychological perspective (not just the mainstream definition) why this month can feel overwhelming, overstimulating, or even frustrating for parents how increased conversations can sometimes lead to conflict, misinformation, or pressure permission to step back, disconnect, or set boundaries during this month how to balance gratitude for awareness with protecting your own nervous system what it looks like to move toward acceptance while still holding space for grief why acceptance is not a one-time decision, but an ongoing process in your parenting journey how to define what acceptance looks like for you and your family timestamps 00:00 understanding autism month: awareness vs. acceptance 09:02 the importance of acceptance in autism 18:09 defining acceptance: beyond the surface 26:51 navigating emotions: acceptance in parenting 34:04 embracing the journey of acceptance resources ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to have your questions answered and have more in-depth education like you heard in today's episode ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 you started this journey trying to understand your child… and somewhere along the way, you started to notice traits yourself in it too. for many parents, this moment is both clarifying and confusing. you recognize the patterns. but then the question becomes: what do I actually do? in this episode, dr. tay walks through what it looks like to explore your own neurodivergence as an adult, including when self-identification feels enough and when you might want more clarity. she also breaks down what an autism evaluation can actually look like for adults (and why it often doesn’t need to be the same long, overwhelming process many families go through with their children). in this episode, you’ll hear: why so many parents begin to question their own neurotype after their child’s diagnosis what self-identification can offer and when it may or may not feel sufficient how masking, learned behaviors, and life experiences can make it harder to recognize autism in yourself why adult autism is often missed or misidentified earlier in life what a comprehensive autism evaluation is designed to assess and why that model doesn’t always fit adult needs how adult evaluations can be more streamlined, collaborative, and focused on lived experience what clarity, validation, and outside perspective can offer beyond self-exploration how an evaluation can support not just you but your parenting and your relationship with your child the difference between needing “all the data” vs. needing confirmation and next steps how to think about whether an evaluation is the right next step for you timestamps 00:00 Understanding Neurodivergence in Families 10:04 The Importance of Self-Identification 19:10 Navigating Evaluations and Diagnoses 28:31 Finding Clarity and Supporting resources ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services , including booking a free consult call for our adult evaluations ⚡️ explore DSM-5-TR diagnostic criteria for autism (made accessible by @blackspectrumscholar as part of their free resource library) ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to have you questions answered like mentioned in today's episode ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay
about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇 do you ever feel like there are a million things going on with your child and no clear place to start? maybe you’re wondering if it’s autism. or anxiety. or adhd. or something else entirely. and every time you try to figure it out, it just feels more tangled. in this episode, dr. tay walks you through how to untangle the overwhelm, without needing all the answers first. using the analogy of a tangled ball of yarn, she breaks down how to find your starting point, build momentum, and take meaningful action (instead of staying stuck in overthinking). in this episode, you’ll hear: why autism (and co-occurring differences like anxiety or adhd) can feel like a “tangled web” and how to start making sense of it how a comprehensive evaluation can bring clarity (and when it might not be the only next step) how to identify what’s actually driving your child’s challenges, even when everything feels connected simple ways to collect data and spot patterns in your child’s day-to-day experiences how to collaborate with your child’s clinical team (even if you only have limited access to them) when learning more is helpful… and when it turns into overconsumption that keeps you stuck how tools like AI can support pattern recognition (without replacing clinical judgment) the most important shift: why action creates clarity (not the other way around) timestamps 00:00 navigating the overwhelm of “where do i start?” 03:50 understanding autism evaluations and differential diagnosis 07:01 why comprehensive evaluations can bring clarity 09:45 identifying underlying factors (anxiety, adhd, and more) 12:42 using data to recognize patterns 16:34 collaboration, ai tools, and building insight 19:19 taking action and finding your next step 21:55 exploring therapy options and supports 24:59 moving out of overconsumption and into momentum 28:01 final reflections and next steps resources ⚡️ join EVOLVE the membership to ask your burning questions and watch the masterclass on looping and cognitive inflexibility ⚡️ learn more about dr. tay’s whole family approach + clinical services , including comprehensive evaluations and group therapy support ⚡️ follow me on instagram → @the.dr.tay tiktok → @the.dr.tay
