Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
Published by PodcastOne
Comedy
Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who thought she was going to Texas Roadhouse and accidentally joined a crime caravan, a camper who fumbled the FIFA bag for a loser ex, and the tale of one camper who bought garden decor and accidentally sent her husband to the emergency room. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Sponsors: ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP ➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only. ➜ Make your move at Apartments.com the place to find a place, and search more than one million rental listings to find your next home. Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
191 - The Gay Summer Agenda Is Behind Schedule
1 hr 7 min
Summer is almost over! In this episode we're covering our end-of-summer bucket lists, duh. Then we cover Goldie the lil firefighting goat, Jonathan caught strays in the Lowe's parking lot, and so much more. This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Sponsors: ➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 and use CAMP15 at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. ➜ Shopify: Stop waiting for permission to build something. Your next revenue stream starts free at shopify.com/camp Works Cited: ➜ Murray, Joan. “‘Squeeze Ass’: Florida Woman Is the Talk of the Town with Her Racy License Plate She Got in the Mail.” CBS News, 28 July 2026. ➜ Brooks, James. “Colorado Wildfire Crews Get an Unexpected Helper: A Friendly Goat Named Goldie.” Associated Press, 29 July 2026. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who thought she was going to Texas Roadhouse and accidentally joined a crime caravan, a camper who fumbled the FIFA bag for a loser ex, and the tale of one camper who bought garden decor and accidentally sent her husband to the emergency room. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
190 - Feral at Fenway
56 min
This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Sponsors: ➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details. Works Cited: ➜ ➜ Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
I Was A Myspace Urban Legend - Trail Mix #140
31 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who stole a birthday sash and got cursed by a boho fairy, a camper trapped in her boyfriend’s house, and the tale of one camper who became the lead character in a Myspace urban legend. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Sponsors: ➜ Spice things up with ARYA! Get $10 off your first month at getARYA.com/camp ➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
189 - Cage Dancing for Shark Week
57 min
We’re talking Shark Week, Jaws, cushioned toilet seats, and Jonathan's SHOCKING discovery hidden inside a bowl of garlic butter mussels. We also get into Dolly Parton’s new Broadway musical, the Dolly-to-Buffy the Vampire Slayer pipeline (obvi), California returning Blues Beach to Indigenous tribes, overheated iPhones AND SO MUCH MORE! This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Sponsors: ➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details. ➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order. This offer ends soon! ➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 55% off your new night guard with Remi Club Subscribe & Save! ➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 25% off select sale items plus an extra $20 off your first 3 orders (for a limited time only!) ➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order. Works Cited: ➜ Culwell-Block, Logan. “Dolly Musical Will Open on Broadway in 2027.” Playbill, 7 July 2026. ➜ Wigglesworth, Alex. “California Returns Stretch of Coast to Indigenous Tribes. ‘This Is beyond Huge.’” Los Angeles Times, 2 July 2026. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
Jehovah Witnessed Me Smuggling Contraband - Trail Mix #139
34 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a Jahova’s Witness caught with sticky contraband, an uninvited carpool passenger on the way to work, and the tale of a camper who survived leg day, but lost it all to Jersey Mike’s. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Sponsors: ➜ Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark! Head to TryFirstleaf.com/camp to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year. ➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get $15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code camp ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
188 - These Oysters Are SCAMMING People
1 hr 4 min
What does a heat rash, a speeding ticket, and a banana shaped car all have in common? They are all in this episode, duh! We're also unpacking a teen Elvis tribute competition, Connecticut’s identity crisis, TikTok pearl parties (allegedly) scamming people, the Wheel of Fortune's shady social media manager, and so much more! This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Works Cited: ➜ Spartz, Isabel. “‘The World Needs More Whimsy’: Giant Banana Car Draws Attention, and a Traffic Stop, near Billings.” KBZK, 21 June 2026. ➜ Bates, Sophie. “With Jumpsuits, Wigs and Dance Moves, These Young Boys and Teens Keep Elvis’ Legacy Alive.” AP News, Associated Press, 8 June 2026. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
This Dude's Car Accident Revealed a Whole Second Life - Trail Mix #138
29 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper in need of advice for her fiance with a bathroom-related tic in very public settings, a camper who just wanted to visit a coworker in the hospital and instead walked into a plot twist nobody at the office saw coming, and the tale of an AXE slinging devil at church camp. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Sponsors: ➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only. ➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout. ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
187 - HAGS! (Have A Gay Summer!)
1 hr 0 min
In the episode we’re talking about the “Have a Gay Summer” drama at Dartmouth High School and why one little Pride bulletin board had terrible ugly adults acting like literal idiodic children. We also get into two former nuns finding love, a robot cop that is terrible at their job, anoying little chipmunks taking over our bird feeder, Disney cruise family trauma... but dont worry bc Zach will close us out with the healing powers of Norah Jones. This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Works Cited: ➜ Alves, Ian. “They Were Going to Be Nuns, Now They’re Married: ‘God Was Our Cupid.’” BBC News Brasil, 21 May 2026. ➜ Marchese, Tony. “Ohio Police Retire ‘Robocop’ After It Heroically Made Zero Arrests and Issued Zero Tickets in Nearly 10 Months.” On Tap Sports Net, 19 June 2026. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
My Hooters Booth Repair Fee - Trail Mix #137
36 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who was forced to take her self-care routine to the streets, one camper who tea bagged too close to the sun and suffered the consequences, and a camper who went to Hooters for wings and left with structural damage on the bill. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
186 - Hired then Fired: My Reality TV Truth
1 hr 7 min
This week at Camp Shady Birch, Counselor Zachariah was almost cast on The Real Housewives, and then his reality TV career was revoked before it even had time to find a cute outfit. CRIMINAL!! We also talk about Kiki the sheep learning to drive, a $700k gold scam that ended in chocolate coins, milk frother slander, wig shopping, and so much more!! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Works Cited: ➜ Miller, Heather. “This Social Media Star Can’t Walk, but She Loves to Drive and Dance.” LiveNOW from FOX, 14 May 2026. ➜ Hogan, John, and Susan Samples. “Accused Scammer Gets Chocolate Coins Instead of $700K in Gold.” KTLA , 11 June 2026. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
Broke Roommate Turns House into Rainforest Cafe - Trail Mix #136
32 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who helped cover her roommate's portion of the rent only to find that she is funding the Rainforest Cafe, a camper whose cute little Irish getaway became a PetCo disaster, and a camper who had a scary run in with an alligator (and it WASN'T Princess Girl). Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
(Replay) 90 - The Limp Wrist Committee
1 hr 8 min
(Original broadcast June 5, 2024) In this episode, The Counselors talk all things Pride Month, drive-in theaters, and argue the existence of dinosaurs! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
(Replay) Pantsless with A Broken Ankle In The Bounce House - Trail Mix #53
30 min
(Original broadcast Sep 30, 2024) In this episode of Trail Mix, the counselors read submitted stories about a camper's date with a major celebrity's son, a videographer at a funeral, and a bounce house story that will have you wanting to bounce off the face of the Earth. Sponsors ➜ Download Cash App Today ! Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
185 - WE ARE ENGAGED!
1 hr 1 min
Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson are engaged! In this special episode of Camp Counselors Podcast, we’re sharing the full story of our engagement weekend in Maine. After six years of dating, we’re spilling the details on how the proposal happened, from the road trip to Acadia National Park, to the private beach moment where Zachariah got down on one knee. And we couldn't be happier! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
Busch Light Apple Ruined Me (Beautifully) - Trail Mix #135
25 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper and her possible daughter’s stolen identity, a cross-state mission for Bapple, and a dermatologist appointment that did not go as planned. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
184 - Cable Box Divas
1 hr 1 min
In this episode we YEARN for cable TV. Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, ABC Family (then turning into freeform? like what was that??) and the list goes on an on and on like a scrolling tv guide. We also cover the news story of a grandma's prom obsession dreams coming true, and a hot air balloon flopp yet again.... ugh. Lots to do lots to say! This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
Gutter Ball Daddy - Trail Mix #134
29 min
In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories! Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories! Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here! Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
183 - Dear SodaStream: Forgive Me (TELL ALL)
1 hr 13 min
In this episode of Camp Counselors, we’re taking flight with absolutely no flight plan. Spicy requests, smooth move tea, SodaStreams, musical greeting cards, sun lounger lawsuits, hootie AND his blowfish. This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts. Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON ! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com ! Works Cited: ➜ Shkurtaj, Tereza. “Woman, 24, Tracks Down 72-Year-Old Man Who Used to Have Her Phone Number After She Receives Cryptic Text from Stranger (Exclusive).” People, 2 May 2026. ➜ Thomas, Garvin. “San Francisco Woman Gets Photographer’s Old Number. It Changes Both Their Lives.” NBC Bay Area, 3 May 2026. ➜ “German Tourist Wins Payout after Losing 6am Race for Sun Lounger.” The Times, 6 May 2026. Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape Social Media: Camp Counselors TikTok Camp Counselors Instagram Camp Counselors Facebook Camp Counselors Twitter See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .
