Be a Man, Not a Dick

Gus is a retired intelligence officer, scholar, and change agent. He shares a painful childhood memory of beating up his younger brother. It’s something he deeply regrets, and it helped shape the man he became. Gus shares how to control anger before it controls you, why winning an argument isn't the same as resolving one, and offers practical advice on turning anger into curiosity, courage, and vulnerability. A candid conversation, Gus coaxes out the question we should all want to answer now: When your time is up, what kind of man will people remember?

Scott is a long suffering Mets and Jets fan, making disappointment a way of life. But when it comes to being a husband, father, friend, and leader, he's a champ. We tackle the lost art of shutting the hell up—especially when your teenager gets in the car after school. We discuss how listening beats reacting, how to deal with difficult people without becoming one yourself, and why asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Scott says that he’s not much of a romantic, but sometimes the biggest dick move isn't how we treat other people — it’s how we treat ourselves. Being a better man doesn't always mean doing or being more. Sometimes it means saying less—and giving yourself a little grace.

Ed loves his family, including his in-laws. He also loves a well-organized vacation. So, before a big family trip to Italy, he drafted six “polite suggestions” delivered at a family meeting to ensure everyone had a wonderful time. Listen to find out how that worked out. Spoiler alert: it could have gone better. Ed shares more about planning boys' trips and balancing family events. We tackle family dynamics -- especially with in-laws, the importance of setting boundaries, and how you can be right and not be a dick.

Steve is a retired Marine reservist and intelligence officer who looks back honestly at the times insecurity, ego and self-preservation got in the way of being the man he wanted to be. A military vehicle accident left him confronting an uncomfortable question about his own character. From there, we talk about accountability, leadership, empathy, fatherhood, marriage—and why sometimes the person you're being the biggest dick to is yourself. Thanks to Steve for sharing his journey. Listener comments most welcome!

Here's the "why" I started this podcast. I interview men who have been a dick at points in life. Who hasn't? They share what they did and what they would have done differently. With some humor, we want you to have the benefit of our wisdom so that you can be a better man today -- and for the next 50 years. Be A Man, Not a Dick.