Daddies by Man of Many

Rob and Marcus have worked together for years and had never really told each other how they became dads. This is the episode where they do. Rob Stott is raising a daughter, Billie, with his husband. She was born via surrogacy in Canada during COVID, which meant the first time they met their surrogate in person was when they flew over for the birth. He explains why Australian law pushed them overseas, why it is the surrogate who chooses the parents rather than the other way round, what altruistic surrogacy actually means, and why Billie now has half siblings around the world and a girl in Melbourne born from the same womb. Marcus Hurley was married for five years, has a daughter he calls Beano, and instigated the separation. He describes how long it took before he could say the words "single dad", the fifty-fifty week he calls his bipolar life, the guilt that arrives folded into the relief of a night off, and the moment his daughter drew the family and wrote "daddy" twice. Between them they land on the thing nobody says out loud. Nearly one in three Australian children are not growing up in a conventional family household, and both these men did. Then the community questions, which are as blunt as you would expect. Did the two of you just do your business in a cup? What if the surrogate wants to keep the baby? And what happens to dating when you are only free every second week. Chapters 00:00 Cold open: the turkey baster question 00:08 Meet Rob and Marcus 01:04 Rob's story: two dads, one daughter, Canada 02:38 Meeting your surrogate for the first time 04:06 "She chose us": how the matching works 04:48 The woman who carried Billie 05:55 Half siblings, and the girl from the same womb 07:14 What altruistic surrogacy actually means 08:10 Marcus's story: five years, then divorce 09:14 How long it takes to say "single dad" 10:49 The bipolar week, and guilt inside relief 14:06 Nearly 1 in 3 kids are not "traditional" 16:30 Two dads, no gender roles, splitting nights 17:47 Dad, Pop, Papa and Bop 19:07 The stepdad, and the drawing with two daddies 21:30 Community questions: the cup, the paternity test 26:27 Dating, and being "custody aligned" 32:33 Your ex is engaged, and you find out on FaceTime References Nearly one in three children growing up in non-conventional family households , UNSW Sydney, 20 August 2024, reporting the Uniting Families Report from UNSW's Social Policy Research Centre and Uniting NSW.ACT What to listen to next How Your Brain Changes When You Become A Dad Support: If anything in this episode brought something up for you, help is available. Lifeline 13 11 14. Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636. MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78. PANDA, for expecting and new parents, 1300 726 306. In an emergency call 000. Enjoying Daddies? Follow the show in your podcast app so every new episode lands automatically, and leave a rating and a review. It is the difference between someone scrolling past and pressing play. Find us Instagram: @daddiespodcastau TikTok: @daddiespodcastau Facebook: @daddiespodcastau Threads: @daddiespodcastau X: @daddiespodau Watch the full episodes on YouTube: youtube.com/@manofmany Listen on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/id6804513711 Find us on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4JqZSIBvqU33N5LGJ3b46S Everything else: manofmany.com/podcasts/daddies Credits Hosts: Rob Stott and Marcus Hurley Producer: Amelia Navascues Videographer: Jordan Yankov A Man of Many production. New episodes every Thursday. Join the newsletter.: https://manofmany.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rob swore at a driver in Newtown. Then he heard a small voice repeat it, word for word, from the back seat. That is roughly where this show begins. In the first episode of Daddies, Rob Stott and Marcus Hurley take a BBC piece on "dad brain" and test it against their own experience. The research says fatherhood physically rewires you: testosterone drops, and drops further in dads doing more of the caring. Oxytocin rises, especially through play and physical contact. Rob's daughter Billie was born via surrogacy in Canada during COVID, which meant meeting their surrogate over Zoom and watching every scan from the other side of the world. He then took eighteen months off work as the primary carer. The research says gay dads doing primary care show the same brain activation as mothers, and Rob has thoughts on whether that matches what he actually felt, and when. Marcus co-parents on a fifty-fifty split and describes the weekly switch between being a dad and being a single man, the morning his ex-wife held an engagement ring up to the camera while he was camping, and the mate who asked him how it made him feel. Plus the change nobody warns you about, which is not the nappies. It is your friendships. Chapters 00:00 The word Billie wouldn't stop saying 00:12 Meet Rob and Marcus 01:12 TMI: Rob swears, Billie repeats it 04:39 How a 50/50 fortnight actually works 05:16 An engagement ring over FaceTime 06:45 Meeting your daughter's stepdad 08:04 Change: the BBC 'Dad Brain' article 09:20 Testosterone drops, oxytocin spikes 10:54 Surrogacy in Canada, over Zoom 11:48 Gay dads and 18 months of primary care 13:13 The change nobody warns you about 15:56 What do you miss from before? 18:24 What did you just say? 20:23 The secret candle References Dad brains: How fatherhood rewires the male mind , BBC Future, 18 April 2026 Enjoying Daddies? Follow the show in your podcast app so every new episode lands automatically, and leave a rating and a review. It is the difference between someone scrolling past and pressing play. Find us Instagram: @daddiespodcastau TikTok: @daddiespodcastau Facebook: @daddiespodcastau Threads: @daddiespodcastau X: @daddiespodau Watch the full episodes on YouTube: youtube.com/@manofmany Listen on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/id6804513711 Find us on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4JqZSIBvqU33N5LGJ3b46S Everything else: manofmany.com/podcasts/daddies Credits Hosts: Rob Stott and Marcus Hurley Producer: Amelia Navascues Videographer: Jordan Yankov A Man of Many production. New episodes every Thursday. Join the newsletter.: https://manofmany.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two dads. Two completely different paths to fatherhood. And all the stuff nobody warns you about. Daddies is a new podcast from Man of Many, hosted by Rob Stott, Editor-in-Chief of Man of Many, raising a daughter with his husband via surrogacy, and Marcus Hurley, a single dad navigating co-parenting. This isn't a tips-and-tricks parenting show. Nobody here is going to tell you how to raise your kids. Each episode takes a piece of modern life; fitness, friendships, work, money, identity, guilt, and asks what actually happens to it once a kid is in the picture. Daddies launches Sunday 6 September. Join the newsletter.: https://manofmany.com/newsletter See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.