Daily Nonduality Podcast

Don’t I need an ego to interact in this world and live a good life? From the perspective of the “me” of course I do! As a self in a world populated with others, developing and nurturing a healthy ego is fundamental. But if I recognize my essential nature, then ego is seen to be a conditioned psychological expression of a particular bodymind. It’s neither essential nor non-essential. It is part of this incredible appearance we call reality. Then ego or self is seen to be a patterning, continually changing and updating, narrating itself to itself, thereby creating the convincing illusion that it’s real. But in fact, it’s mentally inferred. Like a rainbow, which isn't an actual object floating in the sky but a pattern my perception constructs. No one owns the pattern. All that self-referential thinking never creates an actual person: an individual supposedly inside the body, supposedly in control of much of it. To the conditioned thoughts that narrate themselves into an individual, any talk of no-self produces more thoughts framing that as an existential attack. What do you mean I don’t need an ego? Of course I do! The more what I am beyond that self-identification is noticed, the more difficult it becomes to maintain the narrow identification as a someone. And this is just noticing what has always been the case, not achieving anything new. What we call ego doesn’t disappear but is no longer clung to as the exclusive identity. It no longer needs to be developed, nor gotten rid of. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

So who’s right? The more Buddhist-influenced “all is emptiness and there’s no one here” or the more Advaita-influenced “all is Awareness and you are that”? Which path is correct? A traditional, progressive path, or the rebellious, reject everything there-is-no-path? What practice will get you there? Meditation, retreats, surrender, selfless service, chanting, bodywork, inquiry, or no practice at all? Which teacher is legit? The one with the high-priced retreat, the one offering everything for free, or the one saying they’re not a teacher? I’ve found these things to be utter distractions and besides the point. We’re so convinced we need to find the right teaching or path, the perfect practice, and we’re scared to death of being duped or deluded. With all the options now available, we have no idea how to assess them, so we look to appearances, words, money, and other irrelevant things instead. But all the while, what you’re looking for is already the case, it’s “your original face” as they say. All the time you’re debating approaches and considering options, you already have all you need and know all you need to know. It may take years of tasting the different chocolates in the box before you realize that, and so be it. But maybe this message right now, can trigger something. Ultimately only one thing matters, and it doesn’t matter what form or flavor it comes in: finding out for yourself, without needing anyone’s confirmation, wordlessly, and beyond all doubt, who or what you really are. If you want help with that — and I think most of us need some help at some point — go for something that resonates, yes, but also puts all its focus on you seeing for yourself. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

What I talk about on here is the most democratic, non-hierarchical, and free-for-all knowing imaginable. Which is why we can’t imagine it. Human identity is the product of cultural conditioning. From within that conditioning, we can’t even conceive of something as one hundred percent equally accessible to all. Surely there are differences between us. Surely some are farther along. Surely we understand different things and have different amounts of experience. Surely that one knows more than this one. See how strongly you assume these things. It all seems quite true from within the belief in billions of separate selves occupying those billions of bodies. But the catch is that it is precisely this identification as an individual that makes us see it that way. What if you’re not limited to an individual? What if you’re not inside that body? What if there is no personal mind? What if all of it, all appearances, arise in YOU? Consider it for a moment. Then how could one appearance have more access than another? That’s why no amount of work at the level of the supposed individual identity does any good at all towards this. It may produce an improved individual, maybe not, who knows. But the only thing that can “do any good”, is a noticing of what YOU really are, as directly as possible, beyond that identification with a personal self. That “doing” is inquiry: a simple noticing that undoes (spontaneously and all by itself) the constricting and painful identification as an individual. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Is there anything other than peace here? That question immediately prompts conditioned thinking, which hears the word “peace” and opens a metaphorical drawer of ideas about what peace means and should look like in your life. But put all of that aside for a moment. It’s okay, you’re allowed to ignore thought. And look again: Without thinking, is there anything but peace here? In that second before thought rushes in, peace is known. It is already there, noticed or not. Peace is another word trying to describe the true nature of what is, and the essence of what you are too because you are not separate from what is. So have another look: Isn’t this peace … until the next thought rushes in? You’re probably sure that what you just recognized can’t be it. Because what you’re looking for is not so easily available. If it were, everyone would have realized it, right? In the pursuit of awakening, or the big e-word, we’ve learned to believe that there’s no easy anything. It must all be earned and you have not earned it. Not even close. If you think you can just look and have this you’re hopelessly deluded. So, you simply don’t believe what anyone can notice if they have a look instead of believing what they were told: There is only peace. There is nothing but peace. YOU are that peace. What if it’s not true that it must be earned? What if that belief is exactly what’s stopping the noticing of it? What if you just occasionally have a little look and find out if this is not already the peace you are seeking? You might be surprised. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Even your seeking: it just happens. It is also entirely without manager or controller. The thoughts “I must get this understanding” or “I must awaken” appear spontaneously. What we’re convinced is “my search” is nothing more than a set of recurring thoughts about an apparent someone seeking something. Nothing changes, whether those thoughts are there or not. Desire to get something appears. A video plays. A sentence read seems to open something up. The urge to meditate returns, then disappears once more. Who is making any of it happen? Life is apparently moving in the form of seeking, whether there are thoughts of approval or not. You are already the openness all of it moves within and as — not a small, separate someone trying to make something happen or stop it from happening. We are being lived, and our search for awakening too is being lived. It begins, intensifies, rests, and then resumes — all without a doer. It’s not my search, it’s just the movement of seeking. This moment apparently includes the impulse to search. There can be total freedom right in the middle of that search: See that seeking is also happening without a seeker. Both seeker and seeking are movements of life. Life itself is already completely awake, moving as an imaginary separate someone, seeking an awakening. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

The freedom sold to us in Western culture is individual: liberty, free choice, the power to shape and improve our lives, to live according to our values. This is a life-long performance requiring constant effort. Step up and take responsibility because it’s up to you. Know and defend your freedom against constant threats — including your own shadow, temptations, and weaknesses. If we have the will and the guts, happiness is the promised result. See any epic Hollywood movie for examples. But there’s another kind of freedom: not for a person, but from the personal. It’s the simple recognition that the apparent individual who must win and defend their freedom is not real. It’s a made up story added onto the self-less nature of life. Our culture promises a better self with more options, while this other freedom points to no one to need those options. It sounds like a huge loss no one in their “right mind” would want. And of course they wouldn’t — this isn’t available to the individual mind. The cultural promise of happiness through freedom constantly blocks us from noticing that this moment, as it is, is already free: free from a self that needs it to be different. It already offers the happiness and joy we seek through personal struggle. We don’t have to fight for it or defend it. No one controls it.It’s already there before the thought arises that it isn’t. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

By needing something from this moment, I block the noticing of what it already offers. The gift of this moment is here, I’m sitting in it, like a cat in its favorite box. But I can’t see that as long as I believe my ideas about what this moment supposedly owes me . And boy, do I have ideas! It should give me awakening, or at least feeling less unhappy all the time. It should give me what some spiritual text says is possible. It should fix me and my life. Actually, I don’t know but I’ll recognize it when I see it! My ideas about what the moment should be giving me block the noticing of what it already is. When the one wanting something from life is seen to be just another added idea, all these needs and expectations about what life owes that illusory me can collapse. Without beliefs about what it should be, or belief in a someone who can own it, the gift of existence is obvious, even while ideas of needing something different can continue. So what is the gift? An ease that doesn’t require a special state. Freedom from needing anything to be different. Peace that doesn’t require circumstances. Not needing any of this to “do” anything for a me that is not. The fact that there is anything to experience at all is already the gift. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

It feels like I need to make myself do this inquiry so that I can get to a point where it’s no longer flat and boring and it says something to me — something is revealed. That’s not really how it is. This is happening by itself. So the fact that you’re here again, you’re asking this question, means that there is the intention, and the micro moments of recognition are already happening. But to our personal experience it feels like, nothing is happening, I don’t know what this is. It’s boring. I don’t see a difference. My life is not suddenly full of rainbows. No. So the more we can be aware and speak in these meetings about all these things we expect, and the fact that it feels like all these things — that it’s not — that’s the only help we have. So, completely different attempt: In a more religious context, there can be very poetic and mystical descriptions of this experience of pure being. It’s like it’s fullness, love, grace, bliss, depending on which context you’re from. In Christianity, the presence of God, deep peace. All of that makes it even “worse” because now we’re expecting whatever associations we have with those things as well. And that’s why I try … There you’re on your own. The more we discuss that, the more complicated it gets. And that’s why I’m always very annoying, I think, in the sense of that it stops at, “What is aware?” And then it is looking, and the looking does it , and the more descriptions I give, the further away we get from it. Even peace is too much, even being is too much. All these words have connotations and bring expectations with them. And that’s why in inquiry you are your own teacher, you are on your own. You have to find out what it is, beyond that flat, boring, empty “I don’t understand it.” You, only you. — excerpt from the Monday open meeting, details to join on katoudheusden.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

If there’s a purpose to this apparent life of the bodymind, we might say it’s this limited form waking up to its true nature as unlimited formlessness; this relative expression recognizing itself (and everything else) as the absolute. But even that assumes there’s a goal for this experience. And how would we know that? What is, simply is. But I expect what is to give me something. If you’re listening to this, that’s probably something like peace, freedom, joy, or even enlightenment — whatever that is. Sorry, there is absolutely nothing in this for the me. It is the me that is insubstantial, a thought-created mirage trying in vain to make This about itself. The me-ing tries to own (a tiny, tiny) island in be-ing. That’s its job. Me-ing or selfing is what the bodymind does until it ends. The real peace, freedom, and joy is just the seeing of that, nothing more complicated, definitely nothing involving more thinking. The very fact that it is seen, is the freedom from it. Because when there is awareness of something, there’s no longer an exclusive identification with it. All this is formlessness spontaneously appearing as all these forms. That this is so, can be seen, realized, known directly to be true. That knowing itself is the freedom. And if there’s a purpose to any of this, we might say it is this knowing itself. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Right now, what is aware? What is this experience of pure being like? What is the taste of naked presence, when all mental commentary is ignored? Sometimes there’s a direct recognition of what is, without referencing any of the labels, stories, judgments, or memories added to what is. There may be a taste right now. This can happen no matter what I believe inquiry is or how it’s supposed to happen. It doesn’t matter if it’s happening in the correct way because there is no correct way. Thoughts arise trying to explain how I’m doing the inquiring. Let them. Thoughts arise that I’m not doing it properly. Fine. Thoughts arise that inquiry is boring, pointless. Also fine. Meanwhile, direct experiencing is always already going on, there’s just usually no recognition of it. What is, is already freely knowing itself all the time, only there’s mostly a constriction into the imagined selfing, into recurring thought patterns that seem to create an identity of someone having the experience. When a wordless noticing occurs, just for a moment, that what is aware, always already is, it can be seen that it’s actually the thoughts of “me” that come and go. A wordless recognition occurs that existence is impersonal: there’s no one who owns it. A direct seeing happens that there’s no one separate from naked presence with control over any aspect of it. Really, you are not needed for inquiry. Inquiry happens without you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

This is what it’s like to be awake. This reality, this experience, exactly as it is right now. The problem is that we can’t believe it, whether we’re told in evocative spiritual language by a revered master, in the form of cryptic koans by a wandering mystic, or in the most matter-of-fact fashion on the internet. All of reality is fully alive, aware, and awake. What you call yourself is complete awakeness. There would be no experience if there were no awakeness to it. The confusion is in the language and the meaning we attach to these concepts. Awakeness is aliveness is awareness. But we hear these from the position of a separate self as new or future states that are not here yet, at least not for me. There’s no future event where an imaginary someone with your name will finally be more alive, aware, or awake. Awakening is the simple realization that there is no one separate from this to be more awake to it. It is this. Exactly like this, right now. This ordinary, already present experience — MINUS belief in the endless thoughts and ideas about why this can’t possibly be it. The belief that awakening is a future personal achievement “hides” the nature of experience as fully awake. And so, your awakening is hopeless. But if it’s something that doesn’t need to happen, what does it matter that it’s hopeless? Inquire, look, and see directly that it’s all already given. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

We’re addicted to entertainment, social media, substances, sex, relationships, beliefs, and a long list of other things. But our core addiction is to the illusion of a personal life controlled through personal will. The deepest addiction of all is to “me” and my struggle. We may move from material to spiritual, and seek something larger than the egoic self. But this will be a more awake, conscious, spiritual, and so happier personal me. All this is innocent. (We’re also addicted to blaming and shaming — the result of believing in a doer with free will.) You don’t choose your addictions. You don’t choose the spiritual path. But what we’re looking for is beyond all selfing, even spiritual selfing. It’s found beyond all egoic drama, including all spiritual drama. At some point, for whatever reason, the drama briefly loses its ability to seduce. The entire mechanism is seen to be a highly convincing and addictive but fake distraction. The illusion of “me” living a personal life, collapses. We’ve all known these moments, even if we can’t put them into words or use different language to describe them. Once collapsed, it never comes together quite as convincingly as before. What was seen can’t be unseen. Inquiry is the invitation to look again and again at what has already been seen, and can be seen again anytime looking happens. Until we realize no one is separate from or doing the looking. That realization and the unbound peace it uncovers, is what we’re looking for. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Recognize your true nature. Be aware of what is aware. Just notice that right now, there is awareness, and be that, consciously, knowingly. Take attention off what comes and goes, off the body and mind, and rest as aware being. Right, says thought. I’m on it. I’ll be doing this as often as possible. Let’s check the instructions again. Ignore appearances, recognize pure being, be that. But wait, how do I be that? Where did it go? I lost it again! I swear I just had a glimpse but now I can’t find it. Okay, relax. What, right now, is aware? Ah … yes. Just being. But wait …! Round and round it goes. Conditioned thoughts continue to narrate an illusory doer . This imaginary someone must achieve its own ending by seeing through itself to what really is and abiding there! Thoughts then narrate the frustration of this impossible attempt: to end thought using thought. All this only cements the core thought that there’s a someone who must do being aware. But you don’t have to be aware. You can’t. Aware already is without your help. Without a so-called you doing or not doing anything at all, there is always already ordinary aware being. It was never not. Not some special awareness that was missing and must be achieved. This awareness, aware of the illusion of a you supposedly separate from it, trying hard to be aware of it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Without control over life, are we powerless, helpless, incapable? Or does the sense of powerlessness really come from constantly trying to manage what can’t be managed? Do ambition, intention, and desire disappear when we realize we’re not in control? Or do these continue to appear unauthored, as before? What part of this life is being driven by a separate you? Is control ever a real event, or is it a belief we add? Do we ever control sensations, thoughts, or behavior of the body? Can we ever make those appear, disappear, or change to our liking? No. True relief is in that “no.” Realizing there’s no control, we stop seeking it. Things keep happening. Things like ambition, the desire to act, or the pursuit of spiritual goals continue to arise (or not) spontaneously. Responsibility, relationship, and care also arise, or not, just as before. But knowing there’s no control removes the need for any attempt at control. Then there’s the total ease of things simply unfolding as they do — for everyone, all of the time. Life flows without the judgment, resistance, and frustration of the one who was trying in vain to direct its flow. That is real freedom. It’s the lightness of being lived. The opposite of the dream of control is a life of effortless freedom. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Just experience. Not my experience, not the experience I observe, not the experience I am aware of. Just experience. Just a thought, a mental vibration. Not my thought, not the thought I created or made to appear, not a thought based on or caused by previous thoughts. Just a thought. Just a sensation. Not my sensation, not a sensation caused by me, not a sensation with inherent meaning or purpose or messages to understand. Just a sensation. Just an action of the body. Not my action, not an action premeditated or caused by me, not an action caused by my thinking, not an action a me is responsible for causing. Just a body moving, an action. Just words. Not my words, not words a me came up with, not words a me made happen, not words that are a thing in themselves. Just words that can communicate something because they’re mental shorthand for experience. Just words that are pointers to a direct seeing, noticing, or knowing of what is. Just life. Not my life, not a life I control, not the life I was destined to live, not the life that I am responsible for living and getting right, not a life that must have some meaning or spiritual development. Just life, living itself. Including the convincing but mistaken belief in a separate someone owning that life. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

What has always been here, experiencing life? Don’t try to answer, but notice where the question points. * What has always been here, experiencing life? * What was here when you were 5 years old, 15 years old, and is still here today? * What will be here when you are 80? It is always the same, aware aliveness. It doesn’t come or go. Your essential being is always the same. It is eternal. Take a metaphorical step back from the mind. This pulls us into what seems like the background. It can seem like a spacious, silent vastness or a vibrating, energetic field of potential. It doesn’t feel personal. At all. There is no knowledge and there are no concepts here. There is only aliveness, being, knowing life as it is now. Silently and effortlessly look at this being, this aware presence. The verb looking is used as shorthand for perception. We are not trying to see anything. Don’t worry about anything happening or doing this right. Just try to look. Look directly at this alive, aware sense of being without trying to perceive or understand anything. It doesn’t matter how long you look. A fraction of a second is enough. Try, with all your heart, to notice and recognize what is aware. Notice that this aware presence isn’t empty or a void. It is vibrantly conscious and aware. The mind can’t understand this. It doesn’t compute mentally. So to the mind, this presence can feel boring or scary, an empty, infinite hole or void that will swallow us up. If such thoughts or feelings come up, just notice them and let them pass. Presence is sometimes described as a warm, subtly tingling aliveness. But don’t worry if it doesn’t feel that way for you. This awareness is the very presence of YOU. YOU have never been born. YOU will never die. — This is one of the 33 inquiries from the audio version of my book Seeing No-Self: Essential Questions to Reveal Our Nondual Nature. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Hear something often enough and it starts to feel like you know it. Repeat “no self” sincerely enough and it starts to feel like truth. Meditate on “all is awareness” deeply enough and it can feel like direct insight. But without all that:What do you know for sure?What is not hearsay or second-hand? That is all that counts.The rest of it is useless. When everything ever heard goes silent, what still is?Don’t name it or try to understand it. What remains is not something we’ve heard somewhere.It already was before we ever heard anything. It seems like nothing because it has no substance. But the direct, preverbal, mindless knowing of it, is what can free you from the belief that you were ever separate from it. This ordinary aliveness is doubtlessly present. What is not doubtless is the story of self or no-self in that aliveness. What is not doubtless are the endless explanations, meanings, and consequences concerning it. If it’s not clear, pretending won’t help.You don’t wake up on borrowed truth. What needs nothing from you to be the case?You can look (know) directly and wordlessly. This feels strange and frustrating but you might persist. Realize it as all that ever is, and the need for any explanation of it ends. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

We have access to everything on the internet, and AI to digest it for us. Plus, we have all those books and videos we’ve been consuming for years. We’ve heard it all before: completely jaded but still unsatisfied. So even the most direct pointing is heard as something already understood. Yes, I get it, this is not-two, undivided. Yes, yes, I know, there is no separate self. But why is that not changing anything? The biggest obstacle is believing we already know what this is. It completely blocks the direct, unmediated noticing of it. But maybe we can trust that it really is that stupidly simple: noticing what already is without concluding anything. * Without listening to any interpretation of what this is. * Ignoring anything the mind provides as an answer. * Just noticing, mind-lessly. Any understanding of what this is only obscures it. It really is about less, not more.Less understanding, less getting it, not more. That only feels impossible because our entire identity is built on what we think we know — including what we think we know about what is being said here right now. I think, therefore I feel like I know things, giving me the false sense of control and security that I’m a tangible, separate self. But noticing what already is before thinking is possible.It is already going on all the time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

Any appearance, any experience can point us back to recognizing our true nature. Take any experience of separation, constriction, limitation, stress, or suffering. It’s always due to the interpretation by the mind, the selfing mechanism. Always. So any inquiry, any clear noticing of what is really going on, can take us home. Noticing the raw thoughts and sensations, and the mind’s interpretation relating them to a supposed separate me … if that is simply noticed, there’s a natural falling back into what is aware. The trick is not to get stuck in more judgment, more thought about what is only happening spontaneously, without anyone’s control. Let the inquiry point all the way back to what knows, to the freedom and peace of pure being, before any mind. Inquiries tend to work better with things we find stressful but really any experience at all points back to what experiences. It seems difficult at first, to pull back from the mind, to fall back from selfing and into the freedom of being. Inquiry, the way I share it, uses what the mind throws up as the way home. It uses the mind’s own b******t to go beyond it, like following the breadcrumbs out of the forest you were lost in. Then any situation, any experience, is the pointer to the peace and freedom of your true nature. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com

To be free and know peace, right now, as you are, is going against every thought you were ever taught. It’s contrary to the entire cultural conditioning of wherever you grew up. To know your true nature, no longer exclusively identified as a body or mind, means no longer buying into the supposed ego / free agent / self that humanity claims is who you are. It’s the end of belief in the consensus, along with all its norms and expectations. The human is a social animal, where being outcast means death. Even the idea of breaking from consensus can bring up existential fear. The fear is that very same conditioning, doing its job, keeping you trapped. And yes, stories of those who break free are shared. But they’re shared as though they’re highly exceptional. Poor you will never achieve it, not in this lifetime. You’re not advanced enough, too flawed, not cut out for it. All of it ensures you remain identified as a personal self, who must own and live their life. But you are already free, right now. Peace and ease are truly, completely available, exactly as things are right now. The conditioning is stopping you from noticing, from even looking in this direction. Because what YOU already are knows the entire, conditioned drama. And that knowing is unconditionally free. All it takes is noticing that. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dailynonduality.substack.com