This is a podcast that's nominally about bad games. In reality, every Monday, Gary Butterfield and Kaye Ross choose a game at random from the titles submitted by listeners, play it, and venture off on a freeform discussion that winds between the topic at hand and some dumb nonsense. Public RSS Feed: https://www.patreon.com/rss/80117?show=1702263
<html><p>The Powerpuff Girls was a fine cartoon. It hit a lot of people at the right age, and its groovy 90s aesthetic was instantly iconic. So it probably deserved a better game than this, a very sloppy brawler and asset hunt. We also talk about the differing legacies of Nicktoons and Cartoon Network classics, how sometimes a cat is a cartoon in real life, and ways to integrate a Venture Bros.-ass TV phone into your daily life.</p></html>
<html><p>Riddick Bowe Boxing, known as “Chavez” in some regions, is actually a very good boxing game for the Super Nintendo. So we return to the old topics of boxing in general, how quick and brutal real fights can be, Kaye’s dwindling number of pockets for pocket sand, and the bizarreness of “free use” pornography.</p></html>
<html><p>Everyone knows the Rugrats, the hideous Nickelodeon babies who taught us about Passover. Well, they also traveled through time, at least on the GameBoy. And it didn’t turn out very good for anybody. Maybe they should have stopped David Crosby from writing a very creepy song.</p></html>
<html><p>Everybody get up, it’s time to talk about the Space Jam video game now. And it’s just a weak NBA Jam byproduct, with zero cartoony wackiness to be found. We also talk about the Space Jam sequel and how it was the height of cynical corporate IP management.</p></html>
<html><p>Phix is a furby who got magnet powers, and this entire game is an exploration of how to execute on that premise as sorely as possible. But one of the bosses is a big titty Medusa monster, so we discuss whether or not we could find love if one of our arms was a snake.</p></html>
<html><p>Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball is a game that is so infamous that we’re shocked we haven’t covered it yet. It’s a terrible basketball game about a terrible man, and there’s always fun to be had when talking about hoops. But a conversation about a lying Lyft driver leads us to the incredible discovery of Dark Vibes Mobwave Become a Mob Boss Rainy Night Mood Narration.</p></html>
<html><p>Hell Pie is a spiritual successor to Conker’s Bad Fur day, and a successful one! It’s also not very funny because it’s trying too hard to be transgressive. However, the platforming is kind of on point, which pains us greatly to say.</p></html>
<html><p>Streamer Life Simulator is, believe it or not, streamer slop. An incredibly janky asset flip that tries to skate by on utter charmlessness. It’s also one of many simulator games that doesn’t really bother to make a game out of what it’s simulating. It just slaps a bathroom meter on it. In addition to complaining about this bad game, we talk about various instances of reality breaking down around Gary.</p></html>
<html><p>We just need to admit that if old people are farting, it's a slippery slope before... you know. We also think children's games are awesome when performed by professional athletes.</p></html>
<html><p>Deep Freeze is a Japan-only PlayStation Resident Evil clone where you’re fighting terrorists instead of zombies. It’s most noteworthy for its bonkers intro CGI, but there’s not much to say about a snappier tank control shooter. So instead, we ask the question: What is the strangest movie to jerk off into a cup during?</p></html>
<html><p>Very little in the world is funnier than copyright infringement. That’s why the infamous Chinese bootleg game Titenic (spelling intentional) is worth taking a look at. It’s also kind of good? At least it plays well, and it’s short. Jack and Rose are ready for revenge, and they will ensure that none of the waitstaff remain upright before the night is out.</p></html>
<html><p>The catalog of DOS games is full of visually impressive experiments that aren’t very fun to play. That’s where we find Xenophage: Alien Bloodsport, a game that is somehow technically adept but also horrifying to look at. It’s also maybe the worst fighting game we’ve ever played. Plus, it includes a playable Barney the Dinosaur, so we talk about the weird wave of wanting to kill childrens’ mascots in the 90s.</p></html>
<html><p>BioForge is an also-ran in the world of Alone in the Dark clones, telling the story of a man who wakes up augmented into a cyborg on an alien ship. But you use the NumPad to kick, so everything neat about it goes out the window. It WAS, however, featured in a book called “1001 Games to Play Before You Die”, and boy is that list suspect.</p></html>
<html><p>We walked into this one completely unaware of preexisting stereotypes about professionals who drive white vans. Apparently Britons have thoughts. And as a joke game, this kind of works for a minute. So instead we talk about how to properly brand a plumbing company to attract a clientele that doesn’t really want to talk about it.</p></html>
<html><p>Haven: Call of the King is a PS2 platformer that doesn’t want you to think it’s a platformer. It wants you to think it’s anything and everything all at once. That’s why they don’t want you to call it a “platformer”, they want you to call it a “FreeFormer”. Which is… hey listen, we’re really sorry about this one, a lot of the episode is dedicated to trying to figure out how to get Gary a wheelbarrow. We fucked it up. Give us a chance again next week.</p></html>
<html><p>Nickelodeon was at the height of their powers in the 90s when they decided to start throwing more and more Nicktoons down the chute. This led to them trying to capture the grotesquery of Ren & Stimpy without any of its transgression. Thus, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters was born, a show about monsters who live in a dump trying to learn to scare humans. This predated Monsters, Inc. by several years, but still feels derivative of that movie!</p></html>
<html><p>The Oregon Trail is a simple game, but it’s timeless. The Amazon trail is complicated and involves time traveling magic panthers, and nobody has thought about it in thirty years. There’s a lesson there. Additionally, there are lessons in hiring contractors to fix your bathroom, and lessons about how the Liar’s Dividend has made public defecators of us all.</p></html>
<html><p>This is a sequel episode to Abject Suffering 619: Wild Woody.</p><p>Look, we totally intended to record an episode about a video game. But sometimes you’re at a discount grocery store and you stumble across the deal of a lifetime. How many lives could you change with $100?</p></html>
