Published by Dr Corey and Pam Allan
Straight-forward, honest conversations and actions to create a life and marriage fully alive!
Listen on Apple Podcasts28 min
<p>He does oral sex almost every time. Toys every time. Bondage, spanking, dirty talk — all things he pushed through because she wanted them. She agreed to reciprocate. She hasn't. Not once.</p> <p>So is he being selfish for wanting more?</p> <p>That's not quite the right question.</p> <p>The real question is what the word return reveals about what's actually been going on. Corey and Pam unpack the difference between genuine generosity and giving to get — why they look similar from the outside, why your spouse can always tell the difference, and what a ledger does to intimacy over time.</p> <p>Plus — what's her side of this? What does it mean that she said she would and didn't? And what would it take for both of them to stop keeping score?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/quid-pro-quo/">Quid Pro Quo #791</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
32 min
<p>On this week's episode of SMR …</p> <p>This week's episode explores the deep psychological patterns that influence marriage dynamics, focusing on our expectations, meanings, and self-awareness. </p> <p>It offers insights into how understanding our shadow motivations and settling ourselves can foster healthier, more authentic relationships.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/what-am-i-wanting/">What Am I Wanting? #790</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
26 min
<p>This week's episode explores how life-changing events can serve as catalysts for personal growth and relationship transformation. We discuss a woman's journey from rejection to self-discovery and how she redefines her marriage after a betrayal, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and adaptive responses.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/switching-roles/">Switching Roles #789</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
27 min
<p>Frank sexual discussion ahead — this one's for grown-ups.</p> <p>A listener calls in curious about pegging. He found it through porn, and he's terrified to say any of it out loud to his wife.</p> <p>Corey and Pam use his voicemail as the door into a bigger conversation than one sex act. The source of a desire doesn't determine whether it's legitimate. And the real question isn't whether pegging is okay, it's whether he's willing to be known.</p> <p>It ends up where their conversations usually end up. This was never about the act. It's about the risk of being fully known by your spouse, and what a marriage quietly becomes when one person decides that risk isn't worth taking.</p> <p>A line worth pulling:</p> <p>"We think we can hide things. We think we can keep things under wraps. But in reality, it's usually felt in some subtle, pointing-towards way, all the way up to: there's really a disconnect."</p> <p>In the extended content: What does it take for someone to Go First with sharing something vulnerable?</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/is-it-really-about-pegging/">Is It Really About Pegging? #788</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
28 min
<p>This episode picks up from "She Knows How to Ride" (two weeks ago), shifting focus from the wife's physical pain journey to her husband's inner experience — seen through her eyes.</p> <p>The couple entered marriage with high hopes and open communication about their sexual relationship. But on their honeymoon, penetrative sex was too painful for her to complete. A year later, little has changed — and he's become increasingly withdrawn, citing tiredness or lack of desire, leaving her feeling rejected and questioning herself.</p> <p>Dr. Corey and Pam explore two possible explanations for his withdrawal:</p> <p>1. He may genuinely be the lower-desire partner. This is more common than people expect — roughly 25–30% of marriages have a higher-desire wife. If so, the question isn't why he isn't initiating more, but whether he can distinguish between his actual desire level and the desire he's buried to avoid causing her pain.</p> <p>2. He may be hiding behind "kindness." He could be a higher-desire man who's pulled back out of fear of hurting her — physically and emotionally. But there's a harder question underneath that: is he protecting her, or managing his own anxiety? Because what she actually wants isn't a husband who goes through the motions of obligatory sex — she wants someone present and engaged, something worth riding.</p> <p>The episode draws a parallel to Corey and Pam's own early marriage, where a disclosure just before the wedding shut Corey down for years — a reminder that a single event can rewrite the script for a long time, but it doesn't have to be permanent.</p> <p>The real issue isn't which scenario applies to him. It's whether he's willing to lean in and find out — to be known, to show up with presence even when the answers aren't clear yet. That presence changes everything: the quality of touch, eye contact, the feeling of actual connection versus going through the motions.</p> <p>In the extended content: a deeper dive into the masculine-feminine dynamic and what presence actually looks like in marriage.</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/nothing-to-ride/">Nothing To Ride #787</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
17 min
<p>This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system disruption to foster genuine change in marriage.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go through what it really looks like to make better self-respecting moves in life and marriage</p> <p>Let's explore more.</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/when-life-turns-upside-down/">When Life Turns Upside Down #786</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
25 min
<p>This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system disruption to foster genuine change in marriage.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go through what it really looks like to make better self-respecting moves in life and marriage</p> <p>Let's explore more.</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/she-knows-how-to-ride/">She Knows How To Ride #785</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
29 min
<p>This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio Pam and I talk about the challenges of applying relationship knowledge in real life, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and system disruption to foster genuine change in marriage.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go through what it really looks like to make better self-respecting moves in life and marriage</p> <p>Let's explore more.</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/understanding-isnt-the-problem/">Understanding Isn’t The Problem #784</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
25 min
<p>This episode of Sexy Marriage Radio explores the complex dynamics of desire, intimacy, and past experiences in marriage, focusing on a couple's journey from swinging to a faith-based relationship. </p> <p>We discuss how desire, exhaustion, and personal values influence sexual intimacy and how couples can navigate these challenges with understanding and intentionality.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …<br /> We explore in more detail about the dilemma of the emailer asking is they should open up their marriage again and how that aligns with her Christian faith. </p> <p>Let's explore more.</p> <p>Sponsors …<br /> Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/from-the-swingers-club-to-sunday-morning/">From the Swingers Club to Sunday Morning #783</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
29 min
<p>In this Best of SMR episode we discuss common mistakes that married couples make when it comes to initiating sex. </p> <p>There are dynamics of higher desire and lower desire and patterns that make these mistakes so easy to make.</p> <p>We cover six common mistakes: getting annoyed at being the one who initiates, using covert or roundabout methods of initiation, joking or crude initiations, feeling the need to be as turned on as your partner, using the same initiation method every time, and talking yourself out of initiating. </p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>What make authenticity and vulnerability in marriage so difficult?</p> <p>Is it the motivations behind the vulnerability? The reactions to vulnerable moments? Both?</p> <p>Let's explore more.</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/best-of-smr-initiation-mistakes-married-people-make/">Best of SMR: Initiation Mistakes Married People Make #782</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
38 min
<p>Corey is celebrating a milestone birthday this year, so this episode explores the recurring themes in marriage, personal growth, and the importance of self-awareness. Join us as we reflect on lessons learned over years of marriage and shared experiences, emphasizing the value of courage, authenticity, and continuous self-improvement.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/smr-honest-reflections/">SMR Honest Reflections #781</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
51 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I are joined by Gary and Lisa Thomas as we talk through some simple habits you can do this summer that will have impact on your marriage. </p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/3-habits-to-improve-your-marriage-this-summer/">3 Habits To Improve Your Marriage This Summer | Gary and Lisa Thomas #780</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
33 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I explore into the complex reality of sexual lust, shame, and the unseen battles that many marriages face, especially those with a history of hypersexuality, trauma, or previous infidelity. </p> <p>This conversation explores what wives and husbands can do when confronting the persistent mental and emotional remnants of past struggles.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We keep going into the exploration of what we can do with our history and how it impacts our present. But that very process can also be something that creates a much closer marriage than we thought possible. </p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/nobody-talks-about-this/">Nobody Talks About This #779</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
30 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Dr. Alexandra Stockwell joins me again to explore practical ways to deepen intimacy in marriage through everyday interactions, vulnerability, and collaborative decision-making. </p> <p>Discover how small, intentional acts can transform your relationship and foster lasting connection.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go further into the idea of compromise, and what happens when you reach uncompromising moments in marriage?</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/the-little-things-alexandra-stockwell/">The Little Things | Alexandra Stockwell #778</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
34 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore a couple's unconventional approach to addressing intimacy and trauma within their marriage, including the use of love dolls as a means of connection and healing. </p> <p>We analyze the emotional dynamics, projections, and underlying issues that influence their decisions, offering insights into navigating complex relationship challenges.</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/we-bought-dolls-for-our-sex-life/">We Bought Dolls For Our Sex Life #777</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
24 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, we explore the complex dynamics of marriage, intimacy, betrayal, and personal growth through a detailed listener email. </p> <p>We analyze issues like unmet expectations, loneliness, shame, and the impact of past trauma on marital intimacy, offering insights into healing and connection.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go in depth about what the emailer must face in her situation and about herself. </p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Evree: Our favorite intimate product! Get 10% off every order with our code SMR - https://smr.fm.evree</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/flowers-dont-fix-this/">Flowers Don’t Fix This #776</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
20 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I answer and email from a husband who has noticed he and his wife have had regular seasons of dry spells in their sex life throughout their 25 year marriage. </p> <p>He wonders if this is normal in long term marriages. And is curious about the fact that they don't talk about this pattern, so is this fact possibly the bigger issue?</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go in depth about how to address the silence in our relationship patterns. </p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/dry-spells/">Dry Spells #775</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
23 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I explore the complex factors affecting male and female sexual health, including hormonal therapy, masturbation habits, weight, mental health, and systemic influences. We talk about insights into retraining the nervous system, addressing emotional barriers, and fostering healthier intimacy.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go continue the conversation more in depth about what the husband and the wife can do in their situation. </p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/no-o/">No O #774</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
23 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, Pam and I explore the dynamics of higher and lower desire in marriage, focusing on how these roles influence sexual frequency and emotional interactions. We do a deep dive into a common pitfall like weaponizing desire differences and offers insights on living within these realities healthily.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>On the Xtended version …</p> <p>We go through in more detail what the Higher Desire Spouse can do within the desire differences dynamic. </p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/weaponized-insight/">Weaponized Insight #773</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>
43 min
<p>In this episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, our daughter Sydney joins me as we explore relationship dynamics across generations -- from a 20-year-old college student and a 54-year-old married man. Our conversation covers thoughts on commitment, self-awareness, and realistic expectations in relationships.</p> <p>Enjoy the show!</p> <p>Sponsors …</p> <p>OneSkin: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code PASSION at https://www.oneskin.co/PASSION<br /> #oneskinpod</p> <p>Academy: Join the Academy and go deeper. https://smr.fm/academy</p> <p>The post <a href="https://smr.fm/podcast/a-father-and-daughter-talk-about-relationships/">A Father and Daughter Talk About Relationships #772</a> first appeared on <a href="https://smr.fm">Sexy Marriage Radio</a>.</p>