Therapy For Gay Men

Why is Paris burning?The news shows the destruction. What it doesn't show is what's driving it — or what a Jewish, bisexual man living in the middle of it is watching happen to his own city.In this conversation, Liron describes what he says is really behind the France protests, what took over the student movement, what antisemitism looks like day to day in Paris right now, and why he has a warning for gay men in America.I'm a gay men's therapist in West Hollywood, and I don't do polite conversation about uncomfortable things.This is our full 42-minute conversation, unedited.What we cover:- What's really happening in France right now- What he says took over the student protests- Antisemitism in Paris, from someone living inside it- His warning for gay and bisexual men in the US- What he thinks comes nextIf you've been told you're not allowed to say what you see, this one is for you.👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me👉 Learn About Liron: https://www.instagram.com/liron.sgv/#franceriots #parisprotests #franceprotests

What happened to Jazz Jennings? As a gay therapist, I break down what I Am Jazz filmed and aired themselves — from puberty blockers at 11 to gender surgery at 17 and the complications that followed on camera.This is not about regret. This is about what happens when medical transition of a feminine kid is turned into TV — and what no one on that show would say out loud.This is a follow-up to my Avery Jackson video. Same question: what are we doing to kids who may have grown up to be gay?👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-meThis video is commentary and education under fair use. All show clips belong to TLC / I Am Jazz and are used in short selects for critique.#jazzjennings #iamjazz #transkid

He won Mr Gay World 2025 — but before the crown, Giulio Spatola was fighting chemsex.Licensed therapist Michael Pezzullo sits down with Giulio for an unfiltered conversation about addiction, shame, and what recovery actually takes for gay men.In this interview, Giulio shares his personal journey through chemsex, what kept him trapped in the cycle, and how he rebuilt his life to get clean. We go beyond the story and break down the why — why so many gay men get pulled into chemsex, how shame and escape play a role, and what real recovery looks like from a therapist's perspective.If you or someone you love is struggling with chemsex or addiction, you are not alone and change is possible. This video is for education and conversation only and is not a substitute for therapy.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Giulio02:07 Giulio's entry into the chemsex scene07:21 The psychological appeal of chemsex10:11 The impact of neurodivergence on addiction26:03 How chemsex impacts gay men's sexuality31:04 Winning Mr. Gay World42:34 The importance of honesty and social support in recovery53:04 Exploring sober sex and masturbaton01:00:42 Giulio's advocacy work and future plans👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-meSupport & Recovery Resources:- US: SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-4357- UK: https://controllingchemsex.com/#gaymen #chemsex #addictionrecovery

Has the gay rights movement gone too far? Michael talks with Ronan McCrea about why some gay men are walking away from TQ activism — and whether LGB and TQ advocacy still belong under the same political umbrella. 👉 Work With Michael: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me Ronan explains why persuasion, coalition-building, and support from straight people were central to the success of the gay rights movement — and why he believes parts of today’s LGBT movement have moved away from that strategy. We also look at what’s happening in the UK, whether Britain offers lessons for the United States, what happens to activist movements after many of their original goals have been achieved, and a larger question: can gay men and lesbians take our hard-won freedoms for granted? 👉 Buy Ronan’s Book: https://a.co/d/003JlqY5 👉 Learn more about Ronan: https://www.ronan-mccrea.com I’m Michael — a licensed therapist and coach for gay men. I break down the psychological and cultural patterns affecting gay men, so you can see the pattern and change it. Chapters 01:53 The Evolution of Gay Rights 06:03 Why Straight Support Mattered 14:04 The Future of Gay Rights Activism 23:11 Cultural Perspectives on Homophobia 30:00 Sexual Freedom and Cultural Norms 33:01 Restraint and Sexual Culture 35:00 Acceptance vs. Affirmation 44:50 Corporate Involvement in LGBTQ+ Rights 56:08 Activism vs. Everyday Gay Life #gaymen #gayrights #gayhistory #LGB

Simon B. Amaya Price once identified as transgender and lived socially as a woman. Today, he has detransitioned—and he has serious questions about how he got there.In this conversation, Simon describes the role therapists and medical professionals played in affirming his gender identity as a young person, the resistance he encountered from his parents, and the extraordinary pressure his family says they faced—including being presented with the stark choice of a “dead son or an alive daughter.”I say the things about gay men no therapist will say — for gay men done being talked around. Sophisticated, honest talk on sex, relationships, and shame. Subscribe if that's you.Chapters:00:00 — Simon’s Story: From Transition to Detransition06:45 — How Environment Shaped His Identity12:30 — Gender Ideology During Adolescence18:05 — What Happened During Social Transition23:27 — Doctors, Parents, and the Push Toward Medical Transition28:12 — Why Simon Now Questions Gender Affirmation32:36 — Gender Identity vs. Sexual Orientation34:24 — Medical Intervention for Minors39:24 — Masculinity, Labels, and Learning to Accept Yourself43:55 — The Contradictions Simon Sees in Gender Ideology48:35 — Helping Young Men Feel Comfortable Being Themselves👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me 👉 Learn about Simon: https://www.linktr.ee/simonamayaprice#Detransition #GenderAffirmingCare #GenderIdentity #TransgenderYouth #MentalHealth

A few months ago, I stumbled across a reel on Instagram that caught my attention because it was a gay man saying something he apparently wasn’t supposed to say: Marsha P. Johnson didn’t throw the first brick at Stonewall.That opened a much bigger conversation. Why did that story become so widely repeated? Why is challenging it treated as taboo? And what does that tell us about who gets to shape gay history and LGBT culture?Daniel-Ryan Spaulding and I talk about Stonewall, Pride, gay male identity, ideological conformity, and what happens when gay men question the approved narrative.One criticism I keep hearing is: “We need to stand together. Don’t be divisive.” I reject that. I think truth is what unites us—not lies.Enjoy.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Daniel and His Work01:56 Revisiting LGBTQ+ History and Marsha P. Johnson06:30 Cultural Shifts and the Decline of Traditional Values12:42 The Evolution of LGBTQ+ Activism18:30 Personal Experiences and Observations on Pride23:30 Anti-Semitism and the LGBTQ+ Community26:36 The Role of Culture in Political Change28:43 The Bullying Tactics of Ideological Groups31:27 The Toxic Environment of the Gay Community34:11 Radicalization and the Loss of Individuality39:20 The Role of Gay Men in Society44:35 Navigating Modern Gay Identity49:25 Conclusion and Future Directions👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me 👉 Follow Daniel on Substack: https://substack.com/@danielryanspaulding#GayMen #GayHistory #Stonewall #LGBTCulture #GayRights

Why do some gay men go to such extreme lengths to feel connected?I sat down with bestselling author Johann Hari to talk about loneliness, addiction, shame, sex, validation, social media, appearance culture, and the deeper psychological needs that drive destructive behavior. We explore why people can chase connection through sex, success, attention, substances, and external approval—and still end up feeling more alone.We also talk about authenticity, the difference between being seen and truly being known, why shame and humiliation rarely create change, and what real connection may actually require. 👉 Get Johann's Books: https://www.johannhari.com👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me 0:00 Intro2:00 Johann’s Viral TED Talk13:42 Why the Opposite of Addiction Is Connection30:04 Why Shame Is So Toxic for Gay Men38:02 Are We Glorifying Unhealthy Sex?50:13 Shocking Statistics About Loneliness1:01:21 Finding Your Intrinsic Motivation & Values#GayMen #JohannHari #Loneliness #MentalHealth #GayMensMentalHealth

A few weeks ago, Matthew Vines and I were complete strangers. Then we both found ourselves in the middle of the same controversy for saying something pretty simple: we prefer to be called gay—not queer. What interested me most wasn’t the label itself. It was what happened when we challenged a narrative that people assumed we were supposed to accept. The public reaction was intense. The private reaction was very different. That raised a bigger question for me: How much room do we actually give people to disagree within their own communities? Matthew comes from a very different background than I do, and we don’t agree on everything. But that’s part of why I wanted to have the conversation. We talked about gay identity, Christianity, queer theory, gay rights, and what it means to think for yourself without walking away from the people you care about.

Can you be gay and asexual? In this episode, I break down what it can actually mean to be both. Asexuality doesn’t necessarily mean having no arousal, no fantasies, or no sexual life. For some people, arousal may show up more through fantasy or solo sexuality, without the same drive to direct that sexual energy toward another person. We’ll also explore why someone can still clearly experience their sexuality as gay: their fantasies, romantic attraction, intimacy, and erotic world may still be centered around men. I also talk about the confusion that can come from trying to understand yourself in a gay culture where sex can feel central—and how to distinguish asexuality from low libido, anxiety, or simply avoiding sex you actually want. If you’ve ever wondered why you feel gay but don’t relate to the way other gay men describe sexual attraction, this episode may help you make more sense of your experience. 👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me

Are gay men allowed to define our own sexuality? I react to a provocative article about gay male attraction and discuss why its framing taps into longstanding stereotypes about gay men. Gay men have spent decades fighting the idea that there’s something wrong, dirty, or deviant about our sexuality. In this video, I explain why gay men should be able to challenge those stereotypes wherever they appear. 👉 Work With Me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me

My “gay, not queer” post sparked a much bigger reaction than I expected. But this episode isn’t about rehashing the argument. Instead, I’m talking about what the backlash got me thinking about: why so many gay men struggle to use their voice. We’re often taught early to stay agreeable, avoid rejection, and be the “best little boy in the world.” But what happens when that follows us into adulthood—and even into our own community? In this episode, I talk about owning your identity, tolerating disagreement, having the courage to be different, keeping your sense of humor, and refusing to put yourself into another closet just because your opinion isn’t popular. You don’t have to agree with me. But you should be able to speak for yourself. Interested in therapy or coaching? Work with me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me

Why do so many gay men struggle to stay hard—even when they’re attracted to the person they’re with? In this episode, gay men’s therapist Michael Pezzullo breaks down four overlooked psychological causes of erection difficulties and performance anxiety, including the impact of past sexual experiences, pressure to “perform,” overstimulation, and avoidance. Losing an erection does not automatically mean something is physically wrong—or that you are not attracted enough. Often, the fear of it happening again becomes the very thing that keeps the cycle going. Learn more or work with Michael: www.michaelpezzullo.com This episode is educational and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care.

Why do so many gay men walk away from sex convinced they performed badly—even when nothing actually went wrong? In this episode, therapist Michael Pezzullo explores five reasons gay men often mistake anxiety, insecurity, and unrealistic expectations for being “bad at sex.” From getting stuck on negative experiences to comparison and performance pressure, these patterns can turn sex into an evaluation instead of an experience. You’ll learn why sexual confidence is not about performing perfectly, how anxiety pulls you out of the moment, and what it takes to build a more relaxed, secure relationship with your body and sexuality. To learn more about therapy and coaching with Michael, visit: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me

Most gay men have never been taught what a normal penis looks like—or how a healthy erection actually works. Instead, we compare ourselves to porn, unrealistic expectations, and a culture that often turns sex into a performance. In this episode, I break down five penis facts that every gay man should know. We talk about why most men are growers, why bottoms don't have to stay hard, why erections aren't something you can force, why your penis won't perform the same way every day, and why erectile dysfunction is often psychological rather than physical. More importantly, we explore what these facts reveal about the pressure so many gay men carry in the bedroom—and how understanding your body can help you build real sexual confidence. If you've ever worried that something was wrong with your body, this episode is for you. Work with me: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me I also created a free reflection guide to help you understand your erection patterns, insecurities, and the beliefs shaping your sexual confidence. Download Get to Know Your Penis here: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/post/penis-facts-gay-man

One of the most common pieces of advice in recovery is simple: don't date during your first year sober. I didn't follow that advice. Five months after leaving rehab, I met the man who would eventually become my husband. In this episode, I share the story of how we met, what my life looked like at the time, and why this experience challenged some of my assumptions about healing, relationships, and being "ready" for love. We'll explore an important question that extends far beyond recovery: What happens when the advice everyone gives you doesn't fit your life? Whether you're navigating dating, recovery, relationships, or simply trying to figure out which voices to trust, this conversation is about learning the difference between helpful guidance and blindly following rules that may not apply to you. Topics Covered: The myth of being "ready" for love When relationship advice helps—and when it doesn't Trusting yourself while remaining accountable How healing and relationships can sometimes happen together Work With Me I provide psychotherapy for residents of California and Florida, coaching worldwide, and in-person sessions in West Hollywood. Learn more: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me

Why do so many gay men feel empty after sex? A lot of people assume the problem is the sex itself. But in many cases, the emptiness comes from hoping sex will provide something it was never designed to give us. In this episode, I explore four reasons gay men often feel disappointed, lonely, or unsatisfied after sex. We'll discuss unmet emotional needs, self-abandonment, validation-seeking, and why so many of us settle for less connection than we truly want. If you've ever walked away from a sexual encounter wondering, "Why do I still feel this way?" this episode is for you. 👉 Interested in working with me? Learn more here: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me Because the goal isn't to stop having sex. The goal is to understand what you're really searching for when you have it.

In this episode, I break down four reasons narcissistic men can feel so compelling—from love bombing and idealization to validation wounds, attraction to certainty, and the cultural traits that often make narcissistic defenses appear attractive. More importantly, we'll explore why these relationships often become a pattern and what they may be revealing about your deeper emotional needs. If you've ever found yourself repeatedly attracted to controlling, emotionally unavailable, or narcissistic partners, this conversation will help you understand why. 👉 Interested in working with me? Learn more here: https://www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me Because the goal isn't just avoiding narcissists. It's understanding why they felt so compelling in the first place.

Spotify Episode Description Why do so many gay men fantasize about straight guys? Most people assume it's because straight men are more masculine, more confident, or simply harder to get. But the psychology is often much deeper than that. In this episode, I explore why straight men can become such powerful fantasies for gay men, how these attractions are often connected to validation, childhood experiences, and masculinity, and why the fantasy itself can sometimes feel more appealing than reality. We'll discuss the hidden emotional needs that can get wrapped up in these attractions, why some crushes are so difficult to let go of, and what these fantasies may be trying to tell us about ourselves. If you've ever found yourself obsessed with a straight friend, drawn to unavailable men, or wondering why certain attractions feel so intense, this episode is for you. Topics covered: Why gay men fantasize about straight guys Masculinity, validation, and attraction The psychology of unavailable men Childhood wounds and adult relationships Why fantasy can feel safer than reality You're not attracted—you're activated Work with me: www.michaelpezzullo.com/work-with-me Follow for more: Therapy for Gay Men Podcast and YouTube Channel.

Why do so many gay men stay in relationships that clearly aren't working? The truth is that most people don't miss the red flags. They see them. The challenge is understanding why we ignore them. In this episode of Therapy for Gay Men , I explore the deeper psychology behind unhealthy relationship patterns, including why emotional unavailability can feel attractive, why inconsistency can become addictive, and why walking away often means letting go of a fantasy—not just a person. Topics include: • Why awareness alone isn't enough • The difference between attraction and activation • How childhood wounds shape adult relationships • Why emotionally unavailable partners feel familiar • The fantasy that keeps us stuck • How to build healthier relationship patterns If you've ever found yourself saying, "I knew the red flags were there, but I stayed anyway," this episode is for you. Learn more about my work with gay men at michaelpezzullo.com.

Why do so many gay men remain skeptical of Colton Underwood years after he came out? In this episode, I explore the psychology behind authenticity, trust, and the false self. Using Colton as a case study, we discuss why revealing the truth is often just the beginning of rebuilding trust—and why some public figures continue to feel inauthentic even after they've come clean. Topics include identity, people-pleasing, image management, and the challenges many gay men face in learning how to live more authentically. For more resources, articles, and ways to work with me, visit michaelpezzullo.com. Follow me on: Instagram: @michaelpezzullolmft TikTok: @michaelpezzullolmft YouTube: Therapy for Gay Men If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit from the conversation.