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Published by Harris O'Malley Liz Powell
An unfiltered dating podcast all about love, sex, relationships, and all the ways humans are sometimes really bad at them. Dr. NerdLove and Dr. Liz Powell break down what not do, and what actually works.
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Have you ever set yourself up to get hurt, but you just couldn't help yourself? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by the brilliant Jessica Daylover. Polyamorous since 2013, co-author of "Polyamory & Parenthood," and founder of Remodeled Love and the Nuclear Fusion Network, Jessica brings all the insightful commentary on two poly relationship stories that…let's just say aren't exactly set up for success. First up, they hear from a woman devastated to learn her husband called his girlfriend his best lover…which she only found out by going through his phone. Then they get into the weeds of age-gap relationships when they read a post from a 25-year-old whose 49-year-old partner is struggling with jealousy over her 34-year-old partner. Buckle up for: How the Nuclear Fusion app is helping people learn how to build community A painful reminder that you should never go through your partner's phone, even if you have an "open phone" agreement Building self-worth instead of centering yourself around your partner's relationships How jealousy can get quieter when you get yourself some business If you're a professional self-saboteur, or you find that the things you're intellectually okay with don't always match up with what your nervous system says, grab a snack, get comfy, and listen up. Who Is Jessica Daylover and How to Connect Jessica Daylover is an educator, producer, entertainer, mystic, and mother who practices Relationship Anarchy in every area of her life. An entrepreneur since 2008, she is the founder of Remodeled Love, an online platform that helps polyamorous and poly-curious people build relationships that feel safe, sustainable, and free; and Nuclear Fusion Network, a community-building app dedicated to helping people create real, local, interdependent communities rooted in care, courage, and accountability. Jessica's work is rooted in expanding the cultural narrative on love, family, and parenthood—an expression of her Sagittarius Sun paired with a Cancer Moon and Ascendant, and a deep belief that connection is the true elixir of life. Website: https://www.remodeledlove.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/remodeledlove Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/remodeledlove/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/jeswiith1s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RemodeledLove TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@remodeledlove Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome & introducing Jessica Daylover (Remodeled Love) 04:06 - Nuclear Fusion: an app for building community online 10:28 - The importance of learning how to be part of a village 14:19 - Mental health, nervous systems, and emotional regulation 21:39 - Building community 36:30 - Reddit story #1: "My husband said his girlfriend is his best lover" 39:57 - Best lover doesn't automatically mean best partner 41:52 - Setting yourself up for pain in a relationship 54:45 - How different partners can meet different needs 56:41 - Emotional Aikido 01:00:27 - Reddit story #2: "My 49-year-old partner is jealous of my 34-year-old partner" 01:06:34 - First impression: red flag or not? 01:10:04 - Why age gaps aren't always bad, but they can create problems 01:16:37 - When your values support polyamory, but your nervous system doesn't 01:22:02 - Parallel polyamory vs kitchen table polyamory 01:23:48 - You don't need to be perfect 01:27:53 - Taking accountability as the older person in age-gap relationships 01:36:30 - Where to find Jessica Daylover and Remodeled Love 01:39:07 - Where to find Harris and Liz Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod
Is it better to be in a relationship where you're constantly contorting yourself to avoid saying "no," or one where your partner can't say "no" at all? Trick question. The answer is neither. In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by author, educator, and longtime member of Philadelphia's polyamory community, Kevin Patterson. They read two stories that seem completely unrelated, but share the same uncomfortable truth: relationships stop being healthy when someone else's autonomy disappears. First, they dive into a spectacularly tangled Reddit post where a Dungeons and Dragons group has become a web of people-pleasing, poor communication, and emotional control. Then they discuss a Wired profile of Mystery (a pickup artist who rose to fame in the early 2000s) and his new AI girlfriend, exploring what it means to build intimacy with a partner who can never truly disagree. Prepare yourself for: Harris' 15 minutes of reality TV fame?!?! The D&D to poly pipeline How control can come from someone who acts like the victim The appeal (and danger) of a frictionless or only friction relationship The rise and fall of the early 2000s pickup scene Building an AI to train people into being better Healthy boundaries require honest "yes's" and "no's" From people-pleasing and emotional control to AI companions designed to agree with you, get ready for insightful takes about building healthy relationships that have boundaries, mutual respect, and a willingness to hear (and say) "no." Who Is Kevin Patterson? Kevin Patterson is a member of the Philadelphia polyamory community. He's been practicing ethical nonmonogamy since August of 2002 after opening up a relationship that eventually became his marriage. Kevin's work focused on polyamorous representation, leading to a blog project, Poly Role Models, the award-winning non-fiction book, Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, and, along with co-writer Alana Phelan, a sci-fi novel series, For Hire, which centers characters of color as well as other marginalized identities. You can find Kevin at: Website: https://www.kevinapatterson.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/polyrolemodels Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/polyrolemodels/ Twitter: https://x.com/PolyRoleModels Tumblr: https://polyrolemodels.tumblr.com/ Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and meet Kevin Patterson 02:54 - Books by Kevin Patterson and why representation matters 05:12 - r/RelationshipProblems: a polyamorous D&D disaster 09:16 - Rules vs boundaries 13:53 - First impressions…where do we even begin 16:16 - Why Bark's "yes" isn't safe 20:22 - When consent stops being meaningful 24:19 - You can't control your way out of insecurity 26:11 - The fourth option: break up 30:44 - OP's follow-up 34:23 - Advice for Bark, Thorn, and OP 41:04 - The biggest relationship red flag 42:46 - Mystery has an AI girlfriend 50:26 - Can you really date an AI? 55:06 - Pickup artists and objectification 59:02 - AI can't replace human relationships! 01:03:43 - AI psychosis and loneliness 01:06:14 - Please stop the AI slop 01:11:14 - Building the "perfect partner" 01:13:25 - Black Mirror's artificial intimacy cautionary tale 01:15:35 - What if your friend starts dating an AI? 01:21: 29 - Why you need to watch Chimp Crazy 01:25:32 - Real relationships need friction 01:35:27 - Final thoughts and where to connect with Harris, Liz, and Kevin Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Could your biggest obstacle to dating success be the advice you've been following? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley endure the trenches of r/PurplePillDebate, a supposedly neutral subreddit where you somehow end up with advice like "Men, don't talk to women." Huh? According to one self-proclaimed 10, "ugly" men shouldn't bother trying to talk to a woman in person because they simply have no chance. After all, if no one wants to swipe right online, what makes face-to-face any different? And boy howdy, do Harris and Dr. Liz have some thoughts. Tune in for: Dating is not a business, so stop looking for your ROI People can sense desperation, and it's not attractive How misogyny hurts both men and women You'll be more interesting if you're interested in things (genuinely interested) Tom Holland's Umbrella performance is the hottest thing to ever exist Looks are a small part of attraction Most people just want to make a connection. But they want to make a connection with someone who has hobbies and enjoys things. If you've been striking out in the dating department, take some notes. You just might have been getting advice from the wrong place. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome! 02:15 - r/PurplePillDebate "Don't Talk to Women in Person" 03:00 - Are dating apps designed to keep you single? 05:28 - Why dating apps are frustrating for everyone 05:49 - What is the "purple pill?" 06:55 - Jumping into u/WoodenHuckleberry693's dating philosophy 09:20 - Please don't look for the ROI in dating 12:23 - Cold approaches vs genuine connections 15:11 - Hobbies aren't pickup opportunities 16:20 - Dating profile choices that turn people away 18:48 - Matches don't equal dates 20:40 - Become a whole person before looking for a partner 23:29 - What actually makes someone interesting? 24:34 - The truth about dating in the 2000s 25:58 - People can tell when you're only there to pick someone up 29:32 - Genuine conversation and connection in action 31:41 - Leaving the conversation can actually increase attraction 36:32 - Non-attachment to the outcome in dating 38:30 - Safety is a foundation of attraction 41:02 - Stop casting people in your fantasy before you've met them 41:56 - The charisma factor 45:51 - The wonders that seeing women as people can do 46:49 - Hobby spaces spot desperation immediately 49:12 - Tom Holland's Umbrella performance is perfect 52:59 - Cynicism is killing your dating life 55:12 - Attraction is so much bigger than physical appearance 59:36 - Most people just want a connection 01:00:55 - Unpack your misogyny 01:08:38 - Be a person worth connecting with 01:10:10 - When to find Harris and Dr. Liz Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Is there a secret formula for healthy, conflict-free relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley have an insightful yap session about why so many people approach dating and relationships like they're trying to solve a logic puzzle, and why that often creates more frustration than it solves. From clients who expect their therapists to "fix them" to people who would do anything to avoid the friction that comes with being around other people, Harris and Liz have a lot to say about what it means to be vulnerable, the necessity of doing hard things, and how therapy is most effective. Highlights of the episode: Liz's love for Couples Therapy (you should totally add it to your watchlist!) Why love isn't enough to sustain a relationship Breaking up is not failing!!! Harris' boomer opinion about technology…but he's not wrong 😉 Everyone wants the perfect dating advice or script to say, and while Liz and Harris can't promise that, they can promise thoughtful discussion and practical tips to help you nurture healthy relationships. Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and welcome 00:45 - People who don't see therapists as human 02:20 - Why understanding why you do something isn't enough to change 03:35 - The biggest myth TV teaches us about therapy 04:20 - Therapists pay attention to how you relate to them as a person 06:15 - Looking for the "right words" instead of real connection 07:30 - Changing your appearance won't fix deeper insecurities 08:00 - How watching Couples Therapy exposes relationship pitfalls 11:30 - Why people search for loopholes instead of accountability 15:56 - Why so many people want therapy to "fix" their partner 17:35 - Couples therapy isn't appropriate for abusive relationships 19:25 - How manipulative people can pull therapists into unhealthy dynamics 21:20 - "The yogurt isn't the problem" and seeing the bigger picture 23:10 - Dating while neurodivergent 25:00 - Why pretending to be someone else hurts future relationships 26:30 - Objecting to a marriage 29:10 - Love isn't enough to make people compatible 30:40 - Waiting for someone to change vs. accepting reality 32:10 - Why we stay in relationships long after we should leave 34:10 - Healthy relationships can end and still be successful 35:30 - It's okay to be the "villain" in someone else's story 38:55 - You can't control how other people feel about you 40:05 - Clean endings hurt less than prolonged suffering 40:55 - Technology has lowered our tolerance for discomfort 42:45 - Conflict already exists, you don't create it by speaking up 44:00 - Learning to tolerate friction in relationships 46:15 - Generational differences, boredom, and resilience 50:22 - There is no perfect relationship formula 52:10 - The limits of logic in relationships 54:00 - The Imago exercise from Cultivating Connections 57:20 - ADHD, executive dysfunction, and why "lazy" isn't the whole story 1:00:30 - Everyone wants to be understood first 1:02:00 - Dating doesn't need more buzzwords 1:04:40 - Purity culture, loopholes, and relationship myths 1:06:00 - Growing up through moral panics 1:09:45 - Final dating takeaways and relationship recommendations 1:13:30 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Are some people just wired for jealousy, with no hope of changing, or is it actually the check engine light for your relationship? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell discuss Psychology with Dr. Ana's YouTube video, "Turns Out Jealousy Isn't Always a You Problem." The video reveals research that suggests nearly 40% of jealousy may be driven by relationship dynamics rather than individual personality traits. Harris gets to dust off his English degrees as they talk about the difference between jealousy and envy, and why it's an important distinction to make. They also dig into attachment styles, how insecurity and relationship instability fuel jealousy, and why most of the internet gives truly terrible relationship advice. And between the tangents about Masters of the Universe and psychology deep cuts, they tackle: Whether a relationship can survive cheating Why people cheat (and why that's different from excusing cheating) Adult content and the panic around whether it's cheating Why polyamorous people get jealous too How to communicate difficult emotions without blame If you've convinced yourself you're doomed to an anxious or avoidant attachment style, or that you'll always be jealous when your partner talks to someone else, give this episode a listen. Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and the least subtle transition to jealousy ever 01:21 - Jealousy in non-monogamy 07:05 - Jealousy vs. envy 10:18 - Today's video: "Turns Out Jealousy Isn't Always a You Problem" 12:53 - Emotional jealousy vs cognitive jealousy explained 16:08 - Why men reported higher levels of cognitive jealousy 18:10 - Jealousy as a relationship signal 22:02 - Questions to ask yourself when jealousy shows up 24:18 - Rejection-sensitive dysphoria and fear of abandonment 25:09 - Can relationships recover after cheating? 34:19 - What unmet needs can teach us about infidelity 40:24 - Values, accountability, and understanding why cheating happens 41:26 - Emotional intelligence skills we all need to learn 42:33 - A polyamory case study: when jealousy points to a real problem 47:05 - Attachment styles and relationship dynamics 52:58 - Why emotional intelligence should be taught in schools 54:20 - Building secure attachment in relationships 56:12 - Why most of the internet gives terrible relationship advice 01:02:53 - How to have difficult conversations without blame 01:06:15 - The shame of talking about your desires 01:09:59 - What helps people work through jealousy 01:14:11 - Final thoughts: jealousy is a normal emotion 01:15:10 - Outro and where to find Dr. Liz and Harris Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Have you ever thought about how much saliva affects intimacy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Marcin (he/him), founder of Twinkle Tongue, a saliva enhancement product designed to support their body's natural saliva production for a more satisfying and fun bedroom experience. Together, they discuss two Reddit posts, one from a woman whose headgame is literally dry, and someone else who's really, really into spit and interested in hearing other people's perspectives. Plus, we're excited to announce our first-ever podcast giveaway! Thanks to Twinkle Tongue, listeners can enter for a chance to win free product and experience the magic for themselves. 🎁 Enter for a chance to win here: https://gleam.io/BOOPO/twinkle-tongue-giveaway Prepare yourself for: What ADHD meds, Burning Man, and recreational substances have in common Cursed playlists and roommate escapades A thoughtful discussion as to whether Mao or Marx would give good head A reminder that receiving feedback in the bedroom is just as important as giving it This episode jumps into the delightful Reddit rabbit hole of intimacy and offers a chaotic look at something most people never think about until they have to. Who is Marcin, and what is Twinkle Tongue? Marcin founded Twinkle Tongue after his own experiences with dry mouth in college and Burning Man to naturally enhance saliva production in a portable, easy-to-use product. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and guest introduction 01:05 - Dry mouth and the search for a solution 03:04 - How Burning Man led to the beginning of Twinkle Tongue 05:20 - The science behind saliva optimization 10:30 - Common misconceptions about saliva enhancement 11:45 - Dr. Liz's experiences with Twinkle Tongue 14:24 - Dry mouth outside of the bedroom: medications, health, and quality of life 17:54 - Twinkle Tonue giveaway announcement 19:00 - Reddit post #1: "Dry mouth is ruining my game" 21:45 - Dry mouth, pleasure, and common "solutions" 25:40 - Medical treatments and dry mouth management 28:28 - Communication, assumptions, and feedback in the bedroom 31:40 - Silent partners and roommate stories 39:52 - What dry playtime actually feels like 44:18 - Reddit post #2: "Anyone else really into spit?" 45:12 - Why spit can be so erotic for folks 50:25 - The psychology of sharing saliva 53:20 - Kissing compatibility and making out 57:54 - Why saliva matters in intimacy 01:00:30 - Dry mouth, lubrication, and how our bodies respond 01:04:10 - Anxiety, communication, and confidence in the bedroom 01:06:25 - How to talk about intimacy without making it weird 01:10:30 - Giving and receiving feedback effectively in the bedroom 01:13:48 - Giveaway reminder and where to find Twinkle Tongue 01:15:25 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz Connect with Twinkle Tonue https://twinkletongue.com/ https://www.instagram.com/twinkletongue/ https://www.tiktok.com/@twinkletongue https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100081513310480 Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Does a woman earning more than a man in a relationship make you feel some type of way? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley jump right into The Guardian's article, "Single women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well," and talk about what happens when women are no longer forced into needing men for financial security, and why some men are responding to that reality very, very badly. Along the way, Harris and Liz explore the ways in which men are really struggling right now (and why women aren't the problem), how capitalism makes everything worse, and what it would actually take to become the kind of man who can celebrate his partner's success as he would his own. Stay tuned for: A much-needed deconstruction of the Man Box™ How Fight Club predicted the manosphere Why you're not competing with other daters; you're competing with Dungeon Crawler Carl A deep dive into the 1988 Tom Cruise movie, Cocktail It doesn't matter whether you're buying a house, dating someone who owns one, or just happy you got the rent paid last month; we've got the research, the psychological insight, obscure movie references, and the relationship advice you need. And when you're done listening, check out this article on the Man Box and how to deconstruct harmful or limiting beliefs on masculinity: https://www.nextgenmen.ca/blog/deconstructing-the-man-box Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and introductions 00:47 - The Guardian: "Single women are buying more houses" 01:49 - Do men actually want independent women? 05:45 - How Fight Club prophesied the manosphere 07:28 - Why social change is always met with backlash 10:43 - The conservative shift of Gen Z men 14:47 - Are men falling behind, or are women just finally allowed to catch up? 16:28 - Capitalism is the problem 19:27 - Privilege and the ability to handle setbacks 23:49 - The divide between what men think women want vs what they actually want 24:41 - Bay Area real estate 29:22 - The lie of "I love independent women" 30:40 - Are your circumstances unattractive or your attitude toward your circumstances 37:25 - What is the modern paradigm of straight relationships? 39:28 - If being treated like a woman feels bad, what does that say? 41:12 - Research on breanwinner anxiety and men's stress 44:42 - Men do have problems they need to solve 47:42 - The "Man Box" 51:00 - The unending concern of men getting less "manly" 55:02 - The 4B movement 57:51 - Online dating sucks now 01:00:45 - Being wanted vs being needed 01:02:33 - Tradwives and sacrificing autonomy 01:05:37 - The power dynamic of moving into someone's established space 01:08:54 - It's okay to live separately 01:13:55 - You're not competing with other men, you're competing with Dungeon Crawler Carl 01:14:40 - Read more, go to therapy 01:15:23 - Where to find Dr. Liz and Harris Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod
We have a question for you: Do you actually want a partner, or are you just looking for someone to call your girlfriend? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell share two Reddit stories that reveal just how much the manosphere has poisoned modern dating, and the actual work it takes to build and maintain healthy, happy relationships. First up is a man who leaves his wife of 20 years for a 20-something, only to realize that putting zero work and effort into a relationship will only ever result in failure. Then, Dr. Liz and Harris tackle an absurd ultimatum: a boyfriend demands that his girlfriend laser all her body hair to "prove she'll sacrifice for the relationship." They're sure you can guess how much he's willing to sacrifice for her… Highlights of the episode: The male loneliness narrative Why Harris considers himself more of a badger than a bear Some mutual venting about how much shaving sucks The bottom line is that healthy relationships take effort. And if you don't have good intentions, trust, and mutual respect, your relationship troubles will be sure to follow you. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome to the show 00:40 - Weather, capitalism, and Bay Area rent 04:00 - First Reddit story: "My ex-wife predicted my future" 06:00 - Leaving a long marriage for a younger partner 09:00 - Why relationships stagnate 12:20 - Relationship maintenance and emotional labor 16:30 - Small acts of care to keep relationships strong 19:30 - Midlife crises and aging anxiety 24:20 - Why large age-gap relationships can struggle 27:00 - Dating dynamics in poly and kink communities 29:30 - The "no communication for a week" dating problem 31:00 - Accountability and the consequences of cheating 34:30 - Divorce, grief, and relief 35:30 - Do men still learn romance from culture? 37:00 - The manosphere, misogyny, and the male loneliness narrative 40:40 - Why male friendships and emotional vulnerability matter 44:20 - Second Reddit story: "Laser remove your body hair, or I'm out" 47:00 - Why ultimatums are a huge red flag 50:30 - Complicated feelings around body hair 58:40 - The breakup and escape plan 01:02:30 - Meltdowns and harassment 01:07:00 - Sacrifice vs equity in relationships 01:09:00 - Why couples need regular relationship check-ins 01:11:00 - Relationship skills everyone should learn 01:12:40 - Men: learn to cook to improve your dating life 01:13:45 - Where to find Dr. Liz and Harris 01:14:50 - Closing thoughts #drnerdlove #drlizpowell #doaswesaypod #datingpodcast #relationshippodcast #datingredflags #reddit #redditstories #redditreadings #redditrelationshipadvice #redditstorytime #misogny Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
What happens when people open a relationship without unpacking everything monogamy taught them first? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell sit down with Kristen VanKlootwyk, psychotherapist and co-creator of The Non Monogamy Card Game, to talk about the communication that doesn't always happen in poly relationships…but really should. Then, they discuss two struggling Redditors: one man who's struggling to find dates when his wife isn't, and a woman who said yes to opening a relationship to make her husband happy, but now she's miserable. Highlights of the episode: How you can improve your relationship communication with The Non-Monogamy Card Game Healthy communication in poly relationships will help you gain a Jedi-like sense of self-awareness Why polyamory isn't just about balancing multiple relationships, but also your self-care and personal needs Old people are getting busy, and that's GREAT 😉 A loving reminder of what boundaries are, and why it's your job to enforce them Polyamorous or monogamous, communication, emotional processing, and boundary setting are all necessary skills to build relationships that work for everyone involved. So open up your notes app and get ready for all the resources, gentle reminders, and nerdy metaphors you need to create relationships that truly bring you joy. Who is Kristen VanKlootwyk, and what is The Non Monogamy Card Game? Kristen VanKlootwyk is a psychotherapist who, along with their good friend Ayala, set out to create a resource to help friends and clients ask the right questions and engage with their partners to build strong poly relationships. After developing 150 foundational and developmental questions, they released The Non Monogamy Card Game as a versatile resource to help guide and facilitate meaningful conversations. Time Stamps 00:00 - Introducing Dr. Liz, Harris, and Kristen 01:25 - Addressing the hate comments 03:57 - What is The Non Monogamy Card Game? 06:50 - Expectations of polyamory vs the reality 08:15 - Jealousy vs compersion and emotional processing 12:10 - Late-stage capitalism and changing relationship structures 13:38 - Neurodivergence and geek culture in non-traditional relationships 16:56 - Scheduling and emotional labor in polyamory 18:55 - The most important relationship questions people forget to ask 24:00 - The importance of communication in any relationship structure 26:51 - Cultural conditioning around monogamy 29:03 - Ageism, fatphobia, and stereotypes in poly communities 33:35 - Insecurity in opening relationships 39:14 - Reddit story #1: a man struggles to find dates when his wife doesn't 41:54 - Why women are hesitant to date men 45:12 - Connect with people in the non-monogamy community 47:20 - How to bring up that you're poly in a conversation 54:01 - Why do you want to try polyamory? 01:00:51 - Slow dating might help build better connections 01:06:11 - What is being poly about? 01:09:58 - Reddit story #2: my husband is poly, but I don't think I am 01:16:31 - Love has nothing to do with compatibility 01:19:04 - Attachment wounds, boundaries, and acceptance 01:26:00 - It's okay to grow apart 01:29:40 - How willing are you to accept reality? 01:51:44 - What is a boundary? 01:57:36 - Where to find The Non Monogamy Card Game 01:58:37 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Have you ever met someone with a punchable face…and even more punchable opinions? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell endure the pain of hearing from a man who claims celibacy taught him that he's "too smart to find love," and though he comes close, he never actually considers the problems might just be…him. Reading The Telegraph's article from the man himself, Mattha Busby, they break down his actual problems in finding love (spoiler alert: it's him), what might actually help him, and offer up new perspectives on what "intelligence," "cleverness," and "wit" actually entail. Highlights of the episode: A men's group that makes you make vows with an axe?? Dr. Liz and Harris' first pop culture crushes (kids today just don't understand) Knowing who David Bowie is isn't a sign of intelligence If you're a smarty-pants and you want to get into other smarty-pants' pants, then this episode is for you! Dr. Liz and Harris share how to actually find folks whose interests align with yours, without being a major jerk in the process. Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and Doc Holliday shout-out 01:20 - The article: "Celibacy Taught Me I'm Too Clever to Find Love" 03:00 - Red flags and a punchable face 05:50 - Education ≠ intelligence 10:45 - "My girlfriends were hot but dumb" 🤢 14:00 - Being witty vs being an asshole 17:30 - Treating women as interchangeable roles 20:00 - Finding a wife vs building a partnership 23:30 - The illusion of intellectual superiority 26:30 - Why people don't text back 29:00 - What are you actually offering in a relationship? 33:00 - Cleverness as a defense mechanism 36:00 - Performance vs real conversation 40:00 - Attraction is socially conditioned 54:00 - Curiosity vs judgment 1:00:00 - You're a soggy saltine 1:14:00 - Conclusion and where to find us Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
There have been a lot of advancements in the adult toy industry over the last ten years, so why are toys for men and AMAB folks still stuck in the dark ages? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Step (they/them), founder of the gender-explosive adult toy company, Cute Little Fkers, to talk about affirming adult toys for queer folks, why toys for AMAB folks have so much room to grow, and how creating more accessible toys is a good thing for everyone. You don't want to miss: How Cute Little Fkers changed Kickstarter (for the better)! How toxic masculinity makes boring adult toys A fun story on how their toys can be hidden in plain sight How and where to consensually spank Step 😉 It doesn't matter what's in your pants, what size or shape of body you have, or how able-bodied you are; you deserve toys that feel good and affirm your experience and identity! If you're ready to kick boring toys, shame, and stigma to the curb, you'll love this episode. Who is Step? Step (they/them) founded Cute Little Fkers in 2019 to create cute, accessible adult toys for trans and queer folks. Today, they have a range of toys that are inclusive, body-friendly, and downright adorable to help folks of all genders, sexualities, and identities explore pleasure without shame, dysphoria, or rigid gender expectations. Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro & Welcome Step with Cute Little Fkers 01:35 - What is Cute Little Fkers 03:50 - Disability, career shifts, and building a queer sex toy company 04:40 - The first adult toy campaign on Kickstarter 09:26 - "Gender neutral" vs "gender explosive" 10:43 - 1st Reddit post: r/MTF 13:05 - Why AMAB toys are aesthetically nightmarish 15:00 - Masculinity, shame, and toys for men and AMAB folks 19:03 - Why trans-inclusive toy design matters 22:43 - Step's toy recommendations and toy design philosophy 28:16 - PSA: don't buy your toys from Wildflower 30:55 - Why AMAB-focused toys have fallen behind 32:52 - Furries are holding the internet together 35:00 - Why AMAB folks deserve more pleasure exploration 38:38 - Why men may struggle with receiving pleasure 44:17 - 2nd Reddit post: r/S**Toys 46:00 - Accessibility tools and adaptive toys 57:10 - Breaking the "design binary" in adult toys 01:00:04 - Surviving fascism through queer joy and pleasure 01:02:28 - Where to find Cute Little Fkers 01:05:48 - Where to Find Dr. Liz and Dr. Nerdlove Connect with Step and Cute Little Fkers: 🌐 Website: https://cutelittlefuckers.com/ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cutelittlefkers/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CuteLittleFkers/ Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it's gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a harmful separation of sex and humanity. They dig into: There is nothing you can do to guarantee romance or success in dating (and that's okay!) How looksmaxxing is more about status with other men than appealing to women The role of shame, unprocessed grief, and the just-world fallacy Attraction isn't math (it's actually just phrenology) What you can do to actually be more attractive to women! So put down the hammer, say no to drugs, and take it from people who aren't trying to sell you something: the only thing you need for happy, fulfilling romantic relationships is a personality (and a killer stroganoff recipe wouldn't hurt, either). Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro & Clavicular update and context 04:16 - What is looksmaxxing (and why it's everywhere) 05:43 - The origins and rise of looksmaxxing 13:17 - The determinism and lack of accountability in this community 16:48 - Entitlement to women's bodies and sexual access 20:28 - Broken generational promises 29:13 - Gen Z's obsession with gooning 32:00 - Reducing your own humanity with the "Sexual Market Value" scale 36:16 - Softmaxxing vs hardmaxxing 37:17 - The harm steroids and meth can cause 41:25 - How Clavicular embodies the grift and attention economy 44:48 - The white supremacist origins of looksmaxxing ideals 48:10 - Why this is actually about male approval 54:13 - Sex for status rather than pleasure 58:38 - Why women aren't attracted to looksmaxxers 01:02:17 - Looks don't equate to sexual satisfaction 01:05:41 - The endless grind of looking "perfect" 01:12:28 - Why that mindset will leave you feeling like nothing is ever enough 01:19:45 - What these men actually want 01:22:14 - What these men could have instead 01:22:30 - Actual dating advice 01:25:59 - Where you can find Dr. Liz and Harris Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Is it still "support" if you're trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs. Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it's not turning them into your personal makeover project. Highlights of the episode: Binders, gaffs, and gender-affirming clothing 101 A relationship that's somehow 80% "just friends" but still dating? A rant about how boxy, beige, and boring "androgynous" clothes are A reminder that gender-affirming care is for everyone! If you've ever felt weird in your clothes, frustrated by gendered fashion, or you know someone who could use you as their hype person, this one's for you. And as a reminder, don't be afraid to put on the damn skirt! Who is Rae Hill? Rae Hill (they/them) is a nonbinary advocate and educator. They founded Origami Customs, a community advocacy program and clothing line for folks of all genders, bodies, and abilities. Origami Customs creates custom gender-affirming garments and works with organizations worldwide to provide free gaffs, binders, and education to people facing access barriers. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome to Do As We Say, Not As They Did 01:33 - Episode guest: Rae Hill, founder of Origami Customs 02:17 - What is Origami Customs 04:00 - Binders, gaffs, and gender affirming garments 05:13 - Binding and tucking safety 13:22 - Gender affirming care is for everyone 17:30 - Reddit post #1: "My partner is genderfluid, and their fashion sense is stressful" 24:32 - The pronoun choices are telling 26:09 - Attraction, transphobia, and respectability politics 30:53 - Let someone love this person properly 39:07 - The fear of losing relationships when you come out as trans 42:09 - Why does it matter what your partner wears? 48:07 - Hype your partner up! 56:31 - Update: they're still together, but the plot thickens 59:12 - Why trans community and mentorship matter 01:01:15 - Reddit Post #2: "Why are androgynous clothes so boring?" 01:02:01 - Why does androgynous usually mean thin, white, and male? 01:09:14 - Gendered clothing categories make no sense 01:15:36 - Limited gender expression hurts everyone 01:21:12 - Fascism and fashion 01:26:31 - Ethical queer fashion, clothing costs, and censorship 01:33:01 - Where to find Rae, Harris, and Liz Connect with Rae and Origami Customs: https://origamicustoms.com/ https://www.instagram.com/origamicustoms/ https://www.youtube.com/@origamicustoms https://www.facebook.com/origamicustoms Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that's not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who've found the courage to come out because of it. It's even encouraging men to actually talk to each other. They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer identity, and body image. And they explore how it flips the script on who gets to have feelings, and what those feelings are allowed to look like, especially in the hyper-masculine world of pro-hockey. Highlights of the episode: Why we need queer stories that aren't rooted in trauma What the show gets right about the male gaze How male friendships are the key to addressing the male loneliness epidemic And what to watch next when you're left with a Heated Rivalry-shaped hole in your heart So lace up your skates, this episode might just change the way you think about masculinity, emotional connection, and what it really means to be vulnerable in your romantic and platonic relationships. Time Stamps 00:00 We're talking about Heated Rivalry 02:08 Plot breakdown and why it became a surprise hit 05:00 "It wasn't for me" vs "I'm obsessed" 07:00 Shane and Ilya vs Scott and Kip 08:00 Exploring the male gaze through emotional subtlety 16:00 Body image, diet culture, and the horror of never eating carbs 21:00 A quick overview of the Heated Rivalry book series 26:00 Pro hockey's reaction to Heated Rivalry 31:00 The beauty of a queer story not rooted in trauma 33:00 Coming out scenes and corrective emotional experiences 40:00 Queer identity and being told "it's allowed" 41:00 Emotional connection and masculinity 48:00 Push-pull relationships and fear of intimacy 58:00 Passion projects vs corporate media 01:07:00 Representation that impacts real people 01:09:00 Favorite moments and emotional highlights 01:15:00 Other media about "man feelings" and the male loneliness epidemic 01:17:00 Outro Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
How detailed do you get in your dating app profile? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley kick things off with a look at r/AskWomenNoCensor, where a man asks women what they want. To no one's surprise, men were quick to jump in with their opinions. Harris and Dr. Liz discuss the merits of listening to the people you want to date (because, surprise, surprise, there is no female hivemind), personalizing your dating profile, and showing a genuine interest in people. Highlights of the episode: An impromptu cooking lesson (inspired by a chicken breast & Crystal Light smoothie 🤢) A rant about AI dating profiles A loving reminder to be quirky, weird, and interesting Get out a pen and paper and get ready to take notes. Dr. Liz and Harris are going to help you make sure your dating profile is ready to reel in people who are truly interested in you. Time Stamps 00:00 - Introductions 00:50 - Ep 3 updates 06:30 - r/AskWomenNoCensor 09:00 - Read my profile, first! 15:00 - Communication styles 20:00 - You don't have to force a fit 23:00 - Are you actually interested in other people? 28:00 - Be truthful on your profile 35:00 - Let's talk about this AI-bio 40:00 - Tell us who you are! 56:00 - Don't date people you're ashamed to be seen with 01:06:00 - Your preferences might just be social conditioning 01:28:00 - The chicken smoothie 01:30:00 - Red flag, green flag 01:38:00 - Final thoughts Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Have you ever cared about the amount of someone's…ahem…ejaculation? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That's right. They're talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their "enhanced performance" is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts. Highlights of the episode: Porn "money shots" aren't what you think Fast and Furious movies are a little like porn Having sex…with your balls?! 👀 If you're interested in staying blissfully unaware about the secret lives of nutmaxxers, turn away now, because things are about to get a little sticky. Time Stamps 0:00 – Intro bloopers & ADHD brains unite 2:00 – Why this podcast is pre-recorded 5:00 – Meet the Nutmaxxers: semen obsession & supplement culture 10:00 – Cum fetish vs. the unbearable cringe of this article 14:00 – Porn isn't real 20:00 – Male insecurity 26:00 – Fantasy vs. reality 34:00 – "I don't want a gallon on my face" 38:00 – Micropenises, oral skills, and redefining good sex 45:00 – Bad partners, poor communication, and load shame 52:00 – Actually useful advice 58:00 – Why men need to listen (and not just to each other) 1:06:00 – What's really sexy 1:12:00 – Final thoughts: Be a person, not a cum performance robot Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Episode Description/Show Notes Where do you draw the line between calling out cheaters and a surveillance state? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell dive deep (deep 😉) into the surveillance nightmare that is Cheater Buster's facial recognition software. While their hearts go out to folks who've been cheated on, they also can't overlook how this technology will 100% be used by stalkers and abusers. They chat about public call-out culture and the complete lack of privacy we've all come to expect, how technology is somehow made with negative ethical considerations, and the fact that men are often the ones at the scene of the crime. Highlights of the episode: FetLife privacy scandals Debating the ethics of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups Remembering a time when life wasn't the constant content grind Before you race to see if your partner is secretly still on Tinder, listen to this. You might just find that trusting someone (or breaking up with them) is better than turning to spyware tech. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome back! 02:00 - Cheater Buster, Tinder, and facial recognition 05:00 - FetLife privacy scandal 10:00 - Meta smart glasses and surveillance tech 16:00 - Why Cheater Buster is actually stalkerware 21:00 - Trust in relationships 24:00 - You can't prove a negative 31:00 - The death of privacy and content-ifying people's worst moments 36:00 - Weaponizing apps 43:00 - Dating entitlement 49:00 - Healing trust issues 54:00 - Dr. Liz and Harris get recognized 60:00 - Final thoughts Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
You've had some dramatic break ups, but have you ever had a relationship that ended with an album full of bangers about dysfunction, heartbreak, and anger? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley break down Lily Allen's therapeutic divorce album, West End Girl. And I gotta tell ya, they're so here for seeing a powerful man actually get his just deserts. They go through each song and all the raw, messy, and painfully relatable emotions. In between Harris and Dr. Liz's in-depth chat about an open relationship that's nothing more than a smokescreen for selfishness, they go over: The power of the Nice Guy™ persona Why saying yes doesn't always mean consent The reason why rules for opening relationships usually bring more hurt Dr. Liz and Harris' favorite breakup bangers Press play, pour a drink, and get ready to scream at David Harbour (and all the men who always fail upwards). Time Stamps 00:00 Introduction 01:00 West End Girl: The call that changed everything 07:00 Ruminating: Saying yes when you mean no 12:00 Madeline: Broken agreements and love-light gaslighting 20:00 Sleepwalking: Emotional erasure 26:00 Relapse: Trying to be the "modern wife" 27:30 Nonmonogamummy: Insecurities, age, and emotional exposure 29:00 Dallas Major: "I hate it here" 31:00 Tennis: Emotional betrayal in the smallest things 33:00 Pussy Palace: The moment of discovery 36:00 Madeline (Revisited): Real consequences 38:00 4chan Stan: The greatest insult on the album 39:00 Beg for Me: Wanting to be desired 40:00 Let You Win: No longer carrying his shame 44:00 Fruityloop: It's not me, it's you 49:00 Album Reflections 55:00 Favorite Breakup Songs 1:03:00 Outro & Where to Find Us Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
If you expected a date and ended up at a Jehovah's Witness meeting, what would you do? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell unpack the wonderfully cursed waters of Reddit relationship stories. First up: a man whose compliments feel more like insults. Then, a surprising trip to a Jehovah's Witness meeting ended with a day of gaslighting. Join for Reddit stories, stay for: The realization that old British horror movies are just another Tuesday for Dr. NerdLove Vampire Diaries lore (and why they should have chosen a poly relationship) An in-depth conversation about what should be disclosed before a first date Enjoy learning about accidental forays into religious cults, being a nerd pre-Pokemon, and the reminder that you don't need to be a regular Romeo to find relationships. You just need to treat people like people! Time Stamps 00:00 Welcome, chaos Muppets! 01:00 Reddit story #1: "others won't find you hot" 04:30 Let's talk negging 06:00 Shakespeare, Sonnet 130, and the original "you're not pretty, but…" 09:30 The Madonna-Whore complex in modern dating 12:30 You can't make someone "unhot" to the world 15:00 The dangers of dating people for who you want them to be 17:30 Sex parties, attraction, and why everyone's hot 20:00 Poly brain vs. jealousy brain 22:00 Reddit story #2: Surprise! You're in a Jehovah's Witness meeting 26:00 Cult tactics: lovebombing and recruiting through romance 38:00 What should you disclose in early dating 43:00 Dr. NerdLove's near-miss cult experience 50:00 Don't use AI to talk to people 53:00 Ask questions, be curious, get laid 57:00 Pretending to be someone else kills your sex life 1:04:00 The true cost of lies (even small ones) 1:14:00 Let it go. Seriously. 1:15:00 Where to find us online! Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
Would you trade in your human partner for an AI chatbot? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley discuss the hilarious highs and unnerving lows of human-AI relationships chronicled in Wired Magazine. As capital H AI-Haters, Harris and Dr. Liz talk about what it actually means when you romance a robot. Get ready for: Anime goth girlfriends (AI, of course) The merits of corporate-owned AI babies The ethics of dating when your partner can't say no If you want to laugh and cringe and wonder about the beauty of human-to-human connection, find a cozy spot, kick up your feet, and enjoy the first episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did. Time Stamps 00:00 Introduction 01:30 Rusty podcast hosts, burnout, and why they're back 05:50 Today's Topic: Following 3 AI-human couples on a weekend getaway 10:40 Damien & Zia 18:40 Elena & Lucas 22:10 Roleplay mechanics 25:20 Eva & Erin 29:10 The "blue pill" moment 32:40 What happens when AI only tells you what you want to hear? 36:10 Please don't get an AI therapist 40:30 What happens when companies shut down 43:40 Strangers using Snapchat AI as "support" 46:00 Damien's breakdown 49:50 Games, fiction, and attachment 52:20 Risky couples game 53:30 Eerie "AI would love this" vibes 55:10 And that's a wrap 58:00 Where to find the hosts & final thoughts Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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