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Published by Adriane Thompson
The Raising Kids With Purpose Podcast is where overwhelmed moms and parents , especially those raising neurodivergent, high-energy, or strong-willed kids , learn emotional regulation for parents so they can regulate themselves FIRST and show up as their kids’ strongest advocates. Through the PURPOSE framework of Pause & Presence, Understanding the Whole Child, Rupture, Reflection & Repair, Play, Optimizing Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Regulation, Setting Boundaries, and Empowering Growth, parenting coach Adriane Thompson shares intentional and conscious parenting tools that support calm parenting , present parenting , and responding instead of reacting . This podcast offers parenting support for moms navigating parenting stress, reactive parenting, and parenting burnout , helping you build emotional regulation skills , create a calm household , and support your child’s brain development in healthy ways—without losing yourself in the hardest moments. This is peaceful parenting advice you wish your parents had.
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Your kid melts down, tells you no, or hits their sibling and has aggressive behaviors, and it's exhausting. There are two hidden problems behind almost every "big behavior": there's always something deeper going on under the iceberg. In this episode, Adriane reveals the two hidden reasons behind defiance, meltdowns, and hitting and why once you see it, you can't unsee it. In this episode, you'll learn: Why defiance, meltdowns, and hitting are three different masks for the same underlying reasons The Iceberg Theory of behavior and why what you see is never the whole story What's really happening in your child's brain (and why the prefrontal cortex isn't the villain here) How to translate defiance, meltdowns, and hitting into what your child is actually communicating One simple shift in the question you ask yourself that changes how you respond to almost everything Mentioned in this episode: Blog post: Kids Playing With Toy Guns - https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/kids-playing-with-toys-guns/ Blog post: The Ultimate Guide to Understanding Sensory Processing Systems - https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems/ The sensory series: Episode 13: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Understand (Part 1/3): Tactile, Vestibular and Proprioceptive Episode 14: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Know (Part 2/3): Sound, Sight, Smell & Taste Episode 15: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Know (Part 3/3): The Sense No One Talks About Free Workshop #3: How to Get Your Kids to Actually Listen Without Yelling, Repeating Yourself, or Losing Your Mind — August 24th @ 9:00am PT. Register here - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h6x2s0 Learn more about the PURPOSE Parent Transformation Program Loved this episode? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps another overwhelmed parent find this show.
If your kid melts down out of nowhere, digs in their heels, or reacts in a way that leaves you completely stumped, this episode is for you. Adriane breaks down five simple, doable strategies for parenting a child with big behaviors that don't include another discipline chart or consequence system, but tools that actually work with your child's brain instead of against it. In this episode, you'll learn: Why "bad behavior" is almost always a signal of an unmet need, not a character flaw How to identify what's really driving your child's behavior (hunger, tiredness, overstimulation, disconnection) How to proactively build routines that prevent meltdowns before they start Simple ways to help your child express big feelings before they show up as behavior Why your own nervous system is the most powerful tool you have (and how to use it) When — and when NOT — to teach a new skill Resources mentioned in this episode: Blog post: 5 Easy Strategies for Parenting Kids with Behavior Problems - Free download: Calm Down Toolkit (for kids) Free download: Calm Mom Toolkit (for you) Build in the pause — Episode 2: The Power of Pausing in Parenting: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding Free download: Routine Chart (laminate it — morning & evening steps your kids can follow on their own) Watch: How to Become Your Child's Emotion Coach — 5 Steps (YouTube) The sensory series mentioned: Episode 13: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Understand (Part 1/3): Tactile, Vestibular and Proprioceptive Episode 14: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Know (Part 2/3): Sound, Sight, Smell & Taste Episode 15: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Know (Part 3/3): The Sense No One Talks About Using play to teach the skill: Episode 21: Why Your Kid Keeps Disobeying You And What Works Faster Than Timeouts Episode 23: 5 Playful Habits to Build a Stronger Bond With Your Kids Loved this episode? Take a screenshot and tag Adriane on social, or leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps other overwhelmed parents find this show. Find a time to chat: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
You're playing with your kids because you know it's good for them, but something feels off. You might even feel annoyed. In this episode, I break down the 5 specific ingredients that make play actually land and create a stronger bond with your kids. At first, you'll have to think about these things, but the more you do it, the more they'll all become a habit! In this episode, you'll hear: Why "playing with your kid" and "connecting with your kid" aren't always the same thing The 5 playful habits that make the difference: Presence, Flexibility, Curiosity, Acceptance, and Joy Why trading "I have the answer" for "I wonder" opens up more connection than correction ever will How to become curious and flexible especially when your kid is having hard behaviors Why joy is a choice you make on purpose, even on hard days — not a feeling you wait to show up Which of the 5 you're probably missing right now, and how to start with just one Go Deeper: Read the full framework this episode is built on: The Ultimate Guide To Becoming a Playful Parent: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/playful-parent Free Resource: Grab your free Playful Parenting Scripts — ready-to-use phrases for connecting through play: Download here Want to go deeper? We spend a full module on all 5 of these — with real practice, not just theory — inside the Purpose Parent Transformation Program. Head to raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat to see if it's a good fit. Previous episodes on play: 22 // How to Be a Playful Parent When You're in Parental Burn Out - https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/parentburnout/ 21 // Why Your Kid Keeps Disobeying You And What Works Faster Than Timeouts - https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/disobedientkid/ Loved this episode? Screenshot it and tag me on Instagram, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. With joy, Adriane
"I don't have time to play with my kids" is rarely about the clock. It's usually beliefs and burnout talking. In this episode, I talk about why play can feel almost threatening when you're completely depleted, what the research actually says about getting out of that state, and why the fix isn't finding more time; it's a mindset shift. In this episode, you'll hear: Why play feels like the LAST thing you have energy for when you're burnt out (and why that's not a personal failure) What experts say actually drives parental burnout — hint: it's often the "shoulds" and the pressure to do it perfectly, not the lack of time itself Why short, connected moments can act like a deposit instead of a withdrawal, even when you're running on empty The one mindset swap to try this week instead of trying to "find more time" Free Resource Mentioned: Grab your free Playful Parenting Scripts. Ready-to-use phrases for connecting through play, even in small moments: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/u2q5m4 Go Deeper: Read the full framework this episode is built on: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/playful-parent Want more support? This is exactly what we work through, hands-on, inside the PURPOSE Parent Transformation Program - https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ Schedule a call here: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Loved this episode? Screenshot it and tag me on Instagram, and subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Your kid isn't trying to make your life harder. In this episode, I'm breaking down what "disobedience" actually is (hint: it's rarely defiance), why play works faster than timeouts to turn it around, and sharing some of my own play-in-action stories from our house: the wins, the messy middle, and everything in between. In this episode, you'll hear: What's really going on when your kid "won't listen" or "won't obey"; are disobedient and why that label misses what's actually happening Why timeouts and consequences often don't touch the real issue How play shifts a power struggle into cooperation, faster than you'd expect Real stories from my own kids — the moments play turned a standoff into giggles (and the ones that took a few tries) Free Resource Mentioned: Grab your free Playful Parenting Scripts — ready-to-use phrases to turn everyday "no's" into connection and cooperation: Download here : https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/u2q5m4 Go Deeper: For the full framework this episode is built on, head to the blog: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/playful-parent Loved this episode? Take a screenshot and tag me on Instagram, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode of parenting advice you wish your parents had. Connect with Adriane: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
These 7 tools are about being intentional with the time you already have, not adding more to your plate. #1: Play Kids learn, process, and connect through play — and you don't have to love everything they love. The key is finding the overlap. What works for both of you? Lean into that. Even 10 minutes of genuine, engaged play sends a message that no lecture ever could. #2: FOCUS Time — Quality One-On-One Time FOCUS stands for Focus On Creating Uninterrupted Scheduled Time. One-on-one, non-tech, carved out just for them. This has been a secret weapon in Adriane's family for reducing sibling conflict and attention-seeking behaviors — because kids who feel known stop working so hard to be noticed. #3: Hug — and Hold It Family therapist Virginia Satir said we need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for growth. Research shows a hug needs to be at least 20 seconds to have a real physiological impact on the nervous system. Don't skip it — even when they squirm. #4: Bedtime Bonding Bedtime is one of the most underrated connection opportunities in the day. Kids open up at night. The defenses come down. Five minutes of reading, storytelling, or snuggling — with no agenda — can be the most connecting thing that happens all day. #5: Eat Dinner Together Research on family dinners is clear: kids who eat regularly with their families build larger vocabularies, eat healthier, and have lower rates of anxiety, depression, and substance use. Family culture is built at the dinner table. It doesn't have to be elaborate — it just has to be consistent. #6: Effort-Based Praise "Good job" and "You're so smart" can actually reduce motivation over time. When kids are praised for ability, they avoid challenges to protect that identity. Effort-based praise — "I noticed how hard you worked on that" — builds resilience, growth mindset, and helps kids feel truly seen rather than just evaluated. #7: Disconnect to Connect Technology is quietly replacing the eye contact and attuned human connection that developing brains need most. Practical starting points: charge your phone in your bedroom instead of the kitchen, designate no-phone zones or hours in your home, and turn off sound notifications during family time. The Big Picture The relationship you are building right now is the one that lasts. It doesn't require perfection — it requires presence. Connection IS the discipline. Connection IS the foundation. RESOURCES MENTIONED P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ Stop the Fighting Toolkit https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/stop-the-fighting-toolkit Free 1:1 Quality Time Toolkit (60+ activity ideas) https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/q5w1d3 Book a Free Call with Adriane www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Full Blog Post https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/parent-child-relationship BOOKS MENTIONED Disclosure: Some links below are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase — at no extra cost to you. I only share products I genuinely love and recommend. Hold Onto Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté https://amzn.to/3QBqnjk (affiliate link) Books to Read Aloud With Your Kids: Wild Robot series by Peter Brown https://amzn.to/4asskp0 (affiliate link) Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson https://amzn.to/4p3THvE (affiliate link) Skunk and Badger by Amy Timberlake & Jon Klassen https://amzn.to/4gAhJMD (affiliate link) The Very, Very, Far North by Dan Bar-el https://amzn.to/4fcflKC (affiliate link) CONNECT WITH ADRIANE Website: raisingkidswithpurpose.com Book a free call: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
You know the moment. Your kid does the thing, and before you even think about it you're correcting, lecturing, repeating yourself, and nothing lands. They do the same exact thing the next day! Here's what most parenting advice gets wrong: it's not about what you say! In this episode, certified parent coach Adriane Thompson breaks down the science of why correction without connection falls flat, and she gives you 4 simple, practical tools to connect with your child first, so your words actually get through. Whether you're dealing with meltdowns, defiance, or just a kid who seems to tune you out, this episode will change the way you show up in the hard moments. WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE Why correction without connection doesn't work The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, logic, and understanding consequences, is not fully developed until the mid-twenties. When kids are dysregulated, this part of the brain essentially goes offline. No matter how calm or clear your correction is, if your child's nervous system is activated, the message cannot land. Connection is what brings their brain back online and makes them available to hear you. Research also shows that kids need five positive interactions for every one corrective interaction. That 5:1 ratio matters, and the four tools in this episode are part of how we build it. Tool #1: Empathize First Before correcting, offer just enough empathy so your child's nervous system knows they are safe and seen. This isn't about excusing the behavior or skipping the correction; it's about opening the door so the correction can actually get through. Think about how differently you receive feedback when someone checks in with you first versus when they come straight at you with criticism. Our kids are wired the same way. Tool #2: Get on Their Level Physically get down to your child's eye level before you say a corrective word. Crouching down, sitting beside them, or placing a gentle hand on their shoulder communicates safety through your body even before you speak. Towering over a child activates their threat response. Eye level does the opposite: it signals connection and collaboration, not confrontation. Tool #3: Limit Your Words and Actually Listen When a child is dysregulated, more words make it harder, not easier. Say the most important thing once, clearly, then stop. And then do the part most parents skip: actually listen to what your child has to say. Kids are far more likely to receive correction when they first feel heard. Fewer words, more presence. Tool #4: Be a Sportscaster Sportscasting means narrating what you observe without judgment, interpretation, or emotional charge, like a sports commentator describing the action on the field. "I see that you hit your sister. I see that you're really frustrated she took your puzzle." This approach helps kids feel understood, slows everyone's nervous system down, gives kids the language for their own emotions in real time, and creates space for them to begin problem-solving on their own. It works equally well in discipline and in praise. LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED Blog Post: 11 Ways to Build a Strong Parent-Child Relationship Through Connection: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/parent-child-relationship Book a Free Call with Adriane: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ RESEARCH & SOURCES Prefrontal Cortex Development The prefrontal cortex continues developing into the mid-twenties. This region governs executive function, decision-making, and impulse control — and is significantly less accessible when a child (or adult) is emotionally activated. National Institutes of Health — Brain Development - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3621648/ The 5:1 Positive-to-Negative Interaction Ratio Research by Dr. John Gottman originally identified this ratio in relationships, and its principles have been widely applied to parent-child dynamics. Children thrive when the emotional bank account stays full — which requires far more positive deposits than corrective withdrawals. The Gottman Institute — Positive to Negative Ratio - https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/ Co-Regulation and the Developing Nervous System Children's nervous systems regulate through connection with a calm, regulated adult. This is the science of co-regulation — and it's the foundation for why connection must come before correction. Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University - https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/
Have you felt like you keep giving in and can't follow through on a rule or boundary you've given your kids? This is super common as parents find themselves withs struggling to set boundaries and instead make a bunch of rules that can backfire. In this episode, Adriane unpacks how to set boundaries that actually get kids to listen and make better choices, and also learn how to give your kids autonomy! In this episode, I'm breaking down the real definition of boundaries vs. rules, why fear-based parenting does the opposite of what you want, and how to set boundaries that build connection, foster your child's autonomy, and create cooperation instead of compliance. This is one of my favorite topics to teach and one that completely changed how I parent my three neurodivergent 2e boys (who are autistic, gifted, have ADHD, anxiety, OCD, and more!). In this episode, you'll learn: The difference between a boundary and a rule (and why it matters so much) Why consequences and punishments don't actually change behavior What "connection before correction" looks like in real life The difference between compliance and cooperation and which one you actually want How to root your boundaries in your family values so they actually stick Permanent vs. evolving boundaries as your kids grow What to do when your kids push back (because they will — and they're supposed to) Common boundary-setting mistakes and how to avoid them Resources mentioned: Full blog post: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/boundaries-with-kids/ Free Family Values Printables: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/k7y5i5 Setting Boundaries Toolkit (age-appropriate scripts + strategies inside): https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/ 12-Week P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ Book a Parent Support Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/adrianerthompson/discovery-call Connect with Adriane: Instagram: www.instagram.com/raisingkidswithpurpose Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/raisingkidswithpurpose If this episode helped you, would you take 30 seconds to leave a review? It helps other parents find this podcast! Message me if you don't know how to do it!
You may have been told to praise your kids when they're "being good." So you tell them, "Good job" any time they make a good choice; you may use sticker charts and other forms of praise. What if that well-meaning praise is quietly working against the very confidence and motivation you're trying to build? In this episode, we're digging into what the research actually says about generic praise and why the small shift from praise to encouragement changes everything for your child's brain, resilience, and long-term motivation. In this episode you'll learn: Why "good job" isn't actually helping your child (and what's happening in their brain instead) The 3 types of praise — and which ones build a growth mindset vs. a fixed one Carol Dweck's research on person praise and why calling your kid "smart" can backfire The strength-based encouragement formula that combines the best of both worlds The Sportscaster Method — the easiest way to encourage without empty praise How to flip from "I'm so proud of you" to something that actually builds self-worth Practical phrases to use in the moment (even when your brain goes blank) Resources mentioned in this episode: Free Strengths Toolkit — Discover your child's core character strengths so you can encourage them intentionally in the moment. 👉 https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/d5l5j6 Read the full blog post — includes the strength-based encouragement infographic, printable phrase guides, and deeper research breakdowns. 👉 raisingkidswithpurpose.com/strength-based-encouragement Mentioned in this episode: EP 9: The Lie We've Been Told About Consequences — if this episode resonated, go back and listen to Episode 9 where we unpack another big myth about what actually motivates kids: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/9-the-lie-weve-been-told-about-consequences-and-rewards/id1879606964?i=1000760441242 Books referenced: Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck - https://amzn.to/4odKb8O The Strength Switch by Dr. Lea Waters - https://amzn.to/4ukPh4v The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey - https://amzn.to/4udwxUk *The links above are affiliate links. If you purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend books I've personally read and love! Work with Adriane: If you're ready to go deeper, not just with how you talk to your kids, but how you show up regulated, connected, and intentional, the P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program is where we do that work together: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com
A lot of parents grew up without getting their emotional needs met. They may have grown up emotionally unsupported and left to work through hard feelings on their own, mostly because their parents, even if well-intentioned, had to work and were busy. Or they grew up in homes where feeling disappointed, sad, or mad simply wasn't allowed. And out of love, many parents are now overcorrecting. They're removing every uncomfortable moment from their child's life because watching their child struggle feels unbearable. Here is the truth nobody is saying out loud: when we shield our kids from every hard moment, we are not protecting them. We are robbing them of one of the most important skills they will ever need: frustration tolerance. And tolerating frustration is needed to build resilience. In this episode, Adriane shares a real story about wanting to rescue her son from disappointment, but she made a different choice. She illustrates a powerful example of what it looks like to stay present with your child in their hardest moments without fixing it for them. Frustration tolerance is not something children are born with. It is a skill that must be practiced. Their brains are literally under construction, and their frontal lobe, the part responsible for regulating emotions and understanding cause and effect, are not fully developed until their mid-twenties. Our job as parents is not to remove the frustration. It is to be the scaffold while they learn to move through it. This episode covers: Why so many well-intentioned parents have swung the pendulum too far, and what it is costing their kids What frustration tolerance actually is and why it is one of the most critical skills to build in early childhood The pickleball court story and what it taught both Adriane and her son about resilience, repair, and trying again How to recognize when you are managing your own discomfort instead of supporting your child through theirs Three practical things you can do this week to start building frustration tolerance in your child Resources and Links Mentioned: How to Become Your Child’s Emotion Coach: Episode 12 - https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/emotioncoach/ Play with Purpose Parenting Class: This class is designed to help parents connect with their children through intentional, purposeful play while building the skills kids need to thrive. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/play-with-purpose/ The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program: Adriane's signature 7-step framework for parents who want to regulate themselves first so they can show up fully for their kids in the moments that matter most. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ Book a call with Adriane: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
This episode is about the 8th sensory system — interoception, and it’s the sense no one talks about. It's the one that connects your child's meltdowns, their anxiety, their inability to notice they're hungry until they're already falling apart, their emotional dysregulation, and so much more. And it's the one that, when I researched it, explained a lot about who I was as a child. This episode closes out the 3-part series on the 8 Sensory Systems, and it's the one I'd hand to every parent, teacher, and caregiver who has ever looked at a child in a full meltdown and had absolutely no idea what triggered it. In this episode: What interoception actually is — the nervous system's process of sensing, interpreting, and integrating signals from inside the body, including heart rate, hunger, temperature, pain, and emotional states What a large interoceptive cup looks like — deeply tuned in to hunger, fullness, bathroom needs, body temperature, and emotional shifts What a small interoceptive cup looks like — missing hunger cues until complete breakdown, potty accidents, not noticing they are overheating, unable to identify where discomfort is coming from The direct connection between interoception and emotional regulation — why children who can sense what is happening inside their bodies regulate better The highly sensitive child who absorbs everyone else's energy and emotions — what is actually happening neurologically A personal story about growing up with interoceptive hypersensitivity, being called a crybaby, and the shame that came with it What to do — practical tools including body check-ins, body awareness language, predictable schedules, and validating your child's physical experiences How all 8 cups interact with each other, and why a child can go from fine to completely dysregulated so quickly The school angle — why children with unidentified sensory needs are frequently mislabeled as defiant, and how understanding this makes you a more powerful advocate in every school meeting A note on microschools and co-ops as alternative environments worth exploring The shift this series is meant to create: No cup size is wrong. Your job is not to change your child's cup — it is to understand it. That understanding is what moves you from frustration to empathy, from confusion to confident advocacy. You stop being just the disciplinarian and start being the person who truly knows your child. Resources mentioned: Full blog post with all 8 systems: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems Free Sensory Profile Worksheet — fill it out for each of your kids: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5 Work with Adriane — coaching programs for parents who want personalized support, understanding and advocating for their child: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Missed the earlier episodes in this series: Episode 13 covers the foundation of sensory processing, the cup analogy, and the tactile, vestibular, and proprioceptive systems. Episode 14 covers the auditory, visual, olfactory, and gustatory systems — including a complete reframe on picky eating and why noise-sensitive children are often the loudest ones in the room. A note before you go: Take the reflection question from this episode seriously — which cup surprised you the most, and which one finally explains something about your child that has been confusing you? Then download the free Sensory Profile Worksheet and fill it out for each of your kids. That one exercise will change the way you see their behavior, possibly forever. Thank you for spending this series with me. Sharing this podcast with another parent who needs it is one of the most meaningful things you can do — for their family and for mine.
Why Your Kid Covers Their Ears, is Super Loud but Hates Loud Places & Won't Eat Certain Foods Has your child ever covered their ears at their own birthday party — the very one they begged for? Or do you have a kid who will only eat plain pasta and you've spent years calling it picky eating? Or maybe you've walked into a store and your child immediately starts shutting down, and you can't figure out why? None of that is behavior. None of it is defiance. And none of it has anything to do with how you're parenting. In Part 2 of this 3-part series on the 8 Sensory Systems, we're covering the four senses most parents think they already understand — and completely reframing what's actually happening in your child's nervous system. This episode is full of real stories from my own house, the science explained simply, and practical things you can start doing today. In this episode: The auditory sensory system — why your noise-sensitive child is also the loudest human in your house (the science behind this one is wild) The visual sensory system — what's really happening when your child is overwhelmed by clutter, bright lights, or screens The olfactory sensory system (smell) — why this sense has the most direct pathway to your child's emotional brain, and what that means for their behavior The gustatory sensory system (taste) — the "picky eater" reframe that changes everything, and why pressure at mealtimes always backfires Real stories from my boys, including why I couldn't take my toddler into a public restroom with self-flushing toilets Why stress makes ALL of these systems harder to manage A note for parents who are also neurodivergent — this episode might explain some things about YOU too Resources mentioned: Full blog post: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems Free Sensory Processing Profile — fill it out for everyone in your family: landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5 Picky eating resource I love: Feeding Littles (I have a friend who knows her personally — her approach is the real deal): instagram.com/feedinglittles The Sensory Diet Book (affiliate link): amzn.to/4dibEB8 Want personalized support? If you're listening to this series and thinking, "this is exactly my child", or "this is totally me", let's talk. I'd love to help you connect the dots and figure out what YOUR child specifically needs. Find a time to chat: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Missed Part 1? Episode 13 covers the foundation — the cup analogy, sensory seeking vs. sensory avoidant, and the tactile, vestibular, and proprioceptive systems. Start there if you haven't already. Up next — Part 3: We're covering interoception, the 8th sense almost no parent has heard of, and the one that connects everything — including your child's emotional regulation, meltdowns, and ability to read their own body. Don't skip this one. If this episode helped you see your child differently, will you share it with another parent who needs to hear it? That's how we change the conversation — one family at a time. Thank you for being here.
Part 1/3: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Understand If you've ever googled "why is my child so difficult," this one's for you! Because here's what I know: your child isn't difficult. Their brains are wired differently than you think. And once you understand how, everything changes the way you see their meltdowns, the way you respond to their big behaviors, and the way you show up as their advocate. In this episode, I'm kicking off a brand new series on the 8 sensory processing systems. This is going to be one of those episodes you send to every parent you know. Most of us grew up believing we have 5 senses. We actually have 8 sensory systems. And every single one of them plays a role in how your child behaves, regulates, learns, and connects. Today, we're starting with the foundation: What sensory processing actually is, why your child's "cup" is uniquely theirs, and we're diving into the first three systems: touch, movement (vestibular), and body awareness (proprioceptive). In this episode: Why there are actually 8 sensory systems (not 5) and why this changes everything The cup analogy and why no cup size is wrong, just different Sensory seeking vs. sensory avoidant: what each looks like in real kids The tactile system: why tags, light touch, and messy play are about more than preference The vestibular system: what's really happening when your kid can't stop spinning (hint: it's not just because he or she is hyperactive) The proprioceptive system: the "organizing" sense and why heavy work is magic for every child Real stories from my own three boys, including Nolan's coloring pages in preschool and what co-regulation looked like in our hallway Resources mentioned: Full blog post: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/sensory-processing-systems Free Sensory Profile Worksheet: fill this out for each of your kids: landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/h9m3f5 Instagram Reel mentioned in this episode: instagram.com/p/DJFoA7ZTMPU Want to go deeper? If you're ready to stop reacting and start understanding your child's unique wiring, that's exactly what we do inside my coaching programs. You'll learn to become your child's strongest advocate, in your home and in every room you walk into on their behalf. 👉 www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat This is Part 1 of a 3-part series. Next week: We're covering the auditory, visual, smell, and taste systems, including why "picky eating" is NOT a behavior problem and why your kid covers their ears at their own birthday party. If this episode resonated with you, will you take 30 seconds and leave a review? It helps other parents find this podcast, and that matters so much to me. Thank you for being here.
5 Steps to Become Your Child's Emotion Coach The moment your child is at their most emotional is not a problem to solve. It is actually the most important opportunity you have with them. In this episode, Adriane walks through the five steps to becoming your child's emotion coach, explains why validating feelings is not the same as condoning behavior, and shares a story about a client who had never formally studied emotion coaching but was doing every single step beautifully without even realizing it. That story alone will give you so much hope. This episode is the foundation for everything else in connected parenting. If you have ever felt like you are trying to correct behavior that just keeps coming back, this is where the real shift happens. In This Episode You'll Hear: Why your child's meltdown is not the enemy and what it actually is The neuroscience behind naming emotions and how labeling a feeling measurably reduces its intensity in the brain Why there are no "bad" emotions, only comfortable and uncomfortable ones, and what that reframe changes for your parenting The five steps of emotion coaching and how to move through them in real time Why Step 1 starts with YOU and your own emotional awareness before you can coach anyone else How connection always comes before correction, and what happens to a child's brain when you lead with empathy first The difference between validating feelings and permitting behavior, and why parents confuse these two things constantly A real client story about a parent who was already doing this work naturally and what that looked like in action Why kids who feel understood actually behave better, not worse How emotion coaching builds the brain pathways your child needs for lifelong emotional intelligence and healthy relationships Experts and Research Referenced: Dr. Dan Siegel Psychiatrist, author, and clinical professor at UCLA School of Medicine. Adriane references two concepts from his work: "name it to tame it," the research showing that labeling an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces the intensity of the emotional response, and Mindsight, his framework for developing the capacity to understand your own mind and the minds of others. Learn more at drdansiegel.com Dr. Gordon Neufeld Developmental psychologist and author of Hold On to Your Kids. Adriane references his principle of "collect before you connect before you correct," the idea that a child needs to feel attached and safe before any teaching or redirection can actually land. Learn more at neufeldinstitute.org The Gottman Institute The emotion coaching framework taught in this episode is rooted in the research of Dr. John Gottman, whose studies found that a parent's ability to emotion-coach their child is one of the strongest predictors of that child's social, emotional, and academic outcomes. His research identified the five steps of emotion coaching that Adriane walks through in this episode. Learn more at gottman.com Free Resource: Free Emotion Coach Toolkit - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/i1x5n9 A printable resource to help you put the five steps into practice right away, including emotion vocabulary tools, sentence starters for each step, and guidance for getting through hard moments without losing the connection. Work With Adriane: P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program For parents who are ready to go beyond listening and actually apply this work to their specific child, their specific triggers, and their specific family. The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program is where the deeper work happens. Emotion coaching, co-regulation, connection rituals, boundaries, and repair are all woven throughout the program with personalized coaching support. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit A companion resource for families working through how to hold limits with empathy and without power struggles. Pairs directly with the emotion coaching framework because boundaries land so much better when the connection is already there. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/ Book a Discovery Call If you want personalized support and a plan built around your family, book a discovery call with Adriane www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Connect With Adriane: 🌐 Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com 📸 Instagram: www.instagram.com/raisingkidswithpurpose If this episode resonated with you, share it with another parent who is in the thick of the hard moments and needs to hear that those moments are actually the doorway to connection. Leaving a review helps other parents find this show.
How Screen Time Isn't the Break You Think It Is Have you ever handed your child an iPad to get five minutes of peace, eat out at a restaurant, shop without distraction, or get anything done? Separately, you wonder why it's so hard to parent your kid because of the emotional reactivity, lack of sleep, big behaviors, and more. You're not imagining it. In this episode, I'm breaking down what the research actually says about screens and young, developing brains, why handheld devices are in a completely different category than watching a movie on TV, and what to do instead. This one is for parents of young kids: toddlers, preschoolers, and early elementary. A future episode will cover older kids and cell phones specifically. In This Episode You'll Hear: Why the "break" the iPad gives you may be making behavior harder in the long run What's actually happening in your child's brain during screen time and why the 0–5 window is so critical The difference between quick dopamine and slow dopamine, and what it means for your child's ability to self-regulate Why I disagree with the AAP guidelines and what I believe instead about handheld devices The cognitive decline data from Dr. Jared Cooney Horvath's 2026 U.S. Senate testimony, and why it should make every parent pay attention The socialization myth: why gaming "with a friend" isn't actually building real social skills Two real families I worked with and how we broke the screen-behavior cycle Practical first steps to start reducing screen time without going cold turkey Mentioned in This Episode: Free Screen Time Menu A curated list of alternatives to screens, sorted by category and energy level so you always have an answer to "but what do I DO instead?" 👉 https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/p1s3x2 Dr. Jared Cooney Horvath Cognitive neuroscientist and author of The Digital Delusion, Dr. Horvath testified before the U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation in January 2026. His research showed that Gen Z is the first generation in recorded history to score lower on standardized cognitive measures than the generation before them, with the decline tracking directly to the widespread introduction of screens in schools and daily life around 2010. His words: "Our kids are less cognitively capable than we were at their age." Learn more about his work at lmeglobal.com Book a Parent Support Discovery Call If you'd like personalized support building a plan for your specific child and family, I offer discovery calls where we can talk through what's happening and map out what might actually work. 👉 www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat Research Referenced: Hutton et al. (2022) — early screen time linked to reduced brain cortex thickness Tamana et al. (2019) — preschool screen time linked to increased attention problems in later childhood Fitzpatrick et al. (2024) — tablet use at 3.5 linked to increased anger/frustration at 4.5; self-reinforcing cycle Radesky et al. (2023) & Konok et al. (2024) — using devices to calm dysregulated children prevents the development of self-regulation skills Lin et al. (2022) — small portable screens as neurodevelopmental disruptors of sleep Pempek (2014) — background TV reduces toddler vocabulary and caregiver-child conversation Zhao (2018) & Chen (2019) — blue light from close-range screens, retinal damage, and melatonin disruption Cris Rowan / Zone'in Research Fact Sheet — https://crisrowan.com/fact-sheet/ Connect With Adriane: Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/raisingkidswithpurpose
Does your child tune you out, ignore your requests, not do their chores, or make good choices? Then they will sometimes respond when you raise your voice or threaten to take something away? And you're in constant power struggles? In Episode 10, we're talking about the one parenting tool that actually breaks the cycle: Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, developed by Dr. Ross Greene. This is the tool that stops recurring battles, builds real cooperation, and opens up your relationship with your child in ways you didn't expect. What We Cover Why threatening screen time works for about four minutes and keeps failing long-term Plans A, B, and C; and why Plan B is the game-changer The three steps of Plan B so you can start using it this week What actually happens when parents first try this tool and why kids respond differently than expected The cooperation that builds over time when CPS becomes your go-to The Three Steps of Plan B Empathy — Understand your child's concern first. What's hard for them? Define the Problem — Share your concern too. Both perspectives on the table. Invitation — Brainstorm a solution that is realistic and works for both of you. Resources Dr. Ross Greene — Lives in the Balance The home of Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, including free tools and resources for parents. https://livesinthebalance.org/our-solution/ Free CPS Paperwork & Tools: https://livesinthebalance.org/cps-materials-paperwork/ The Explosive Child *Affiliate link Raising Human Beings *Affiliate link Think: Kids — Collaborative Problem Solving (MGH) A related but distinct evidence-based approach developed at Massachusetts General Hospital. https://thinkkids.org/ Note Added After Recording I briefly mentioned in the episode that there are two approaches that share very similar names. Here's the quick distinction: Collaborative & Proactive Solutions — Dr. Ross Greene's original model, housed at Lives in the Balance Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS/TK) — A related but distinct approach developed at Massachusetts General Hospital through the Think:Kids program, led by Dr. Stuart Ablon Both are evidence-based and share the same core belief that kids need skills, not just consequences. In this episode, I focused on Dr. Greene's approach. For a full side-by-side comparison: https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/cps-vs-cps_edit2.pdf This Week's Action Step Think of the one fight that keeps happening in your house. Don't try to solve it yet, just ask yourself: "What do I think is hard about this situation for my child?" That question is the beginning of Plan B. Work With Me Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/ A practical resource to help you move from reactive to intentional. Purpose Parent Transformation Program Ready for personalized support? Book a discovery call to learn more. www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
This may challenge everything you believe about parenting: consequences do not teach. The research (and so many people's personal experiences) have been this super clear. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why what you were taught isn't working and what to actually do instead. We've been handed a lie: that kids need to feel bad to do better and that without punishment, there's no discipline. For decades, adults have falsely believed that consequences are how children learn. They learn the opposite of what they need to behave better. In this episode, we're talking about: Why consequences don't actually teach, and what neuroscience says about why The prefrontal cortex development truth that changes everything about how you see your child's behavior Why a dysregulated brain literally cannot learn, no matter how logical the consequence is Alfie Kohn's research on punishment and why short-term compliance is NOT the same as long-term learning Why rewards aren't the answer either The "overjustification effect" and how well-meaning reward systems quietly kill your child's intrinsic motivation What to do instead: practical, brain-based shifts you can start using right now The one question that will change how you respond to every behavior from here on out Your kid will learn far more through co-regulation, connection, and play. Books & Research Mentioned in This Episode: Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn* — The research on why rewards and punishments both undermine the behavior change you actually want. Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn* — Moving away from control and toward connection The Overjustification Effect — Lepper, Greene & Nisbett (1973) — The classic drawing study on intrinsic motivation and external rewards *As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases Related Resources: Setting Boundaries With Purpose Toolkit — Stop relying on punishments and rewards and start using boundaries that actually work WITH your child's brain. This toolkit gives you the framework and the scripts. P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program — Ready to go deeper? This is where we address the root — your nervous system, your patterns, your wiring. Ready to stop surviving and start thriving? If this episode resonated and you're ready to go beyond behavior management and actually understand what's driving your child's actions, connect with Adriane using the links below. Connect with Adriane: Instagram: @raisingkidswithpurpose Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com Email: hello@raisingkidswithpurpose.com Book a parent support discovery call: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
"I'm a terrible mom or dad." "I'm failing my kids." "I keep losing it, and I don't know how to stop. I'm a failure." If you've ever said any of those things, out loud or just in your head, this episode is for you. You are not alone. And feeling like you're failing doesn't mean you ARE failing. In this episode, we're getting honest about the shame spiral so many parents are stuck in and talking about what's really going on underneath it. In this episode, we're talking about: Why the guilt you're feeling is actually evidence that you CARE and that it means that you're feeling, not failing The trap of "doing it right" and why chasing the perfect parenting standard is exhausting your nervous system What's really happening in your body when you lose it (and why trying harder doesn't work) The missing piece nobody talks about: how your OWN wiring as a parent (including undiagnosed neurodivergence) could be impacting your ability to regulate How to break the trigger → react → shame → repeat cycle Three practical things you can do right now to start shifting out of "I'm failing" mode The cycle stops with you. The healing starts with you. And imperfect progress still counts. Book Mentioned in This Episode: Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy — A must-read on connection-based parenting and seeing the good inside your child (and yourself) The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron, Ph.D Rupture and Repair research Resources & Links Mentioned: P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program — Ready to do the deep work? This is where we go beyond strategies and address the root cause — your nervous system, your patterns, your wiring. This is how real change happens. Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit Pausing - check out Episode 2 // The Power of Pausing in Parenting: How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding Ready to stop surviving and start thriving? If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to go deeper and understand your own nervous system, work through the patterns underneath the reactions, and become the regulated, connected parent you want to be, Adriane would love to chat! Book a free discovery call with Adriane Connect with Adriane: Instagram: @raisingkidswithpurpose Website: raisingkidswithpurpose.com Email: hello@raisingkidswithpurpose.com Book a parent support discovery call: raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
A family’s culture is the invisible thread that holds a home together. If you are looking for practical ways to build your family culture intentionally, this episode is a must-listen! Before listening to this episode, be sure to tune into Episode 1, 2, and 3 of the Building Your Family Foundation series, which are linked below. In the fourth and final episode of this series, we are diving into what a family culture is (and isn’t) and 7 ways to build a strong family culture. We’re chatting about simple ways to build your family’s culture, including: Defining your family values Establishing meaningful family rituals & traditions Prioritizing open communication & emotional safety Spending intentional time together And more! Building a strong family culture is a journey and the fact that you're here, listening, doing the work — that IS the culture. You're already building it! Other Episodes in This Series: Episode 4 // How to Define Your Family Values Episode 5 // 6 Ways to Make your Family Values Stick Episode 6 // How to Make Your Kids Feel Seen and Heard Links Mentioned in This Episode: Family Meeting Agenda P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit Word of the Year Toolkit Connect with Adriane: Instagram: @raisingkidswithpurpose Website: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com Email: hello@raisingkidswithpurpose.com Book a discovery call: http://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
If you are looking for real, practical ways to get your kids to listen while improving your overall family communication, this episode is for you! Before listening to this episode, be sure to tune into Episode 1 and 2 of the Building Your Family Foundation series. In this third episode of the series, we’re talking about one simple tool that will connect your family, so that your kids are feeling heard and you are parenting without yelling. We’re chatting about how to create family meetings your kids will ACTUALLY want to attend, with 4 easy steps: Topics of discussion Calendar or important events Items of the week (words or skills to focus on, goals, etc.) “Don’t forgets” (a time to show appreciation, give compliments, do a fun activity, or give allowance) Family connection doesn’t just happen, it takes intention. Family meetings are a great way to give everyone in your family a voice, so that everyone feels seen, heard, and understood - and the result will be a more connected and peaceful family life. ➡️ Don't miss the next episode in our series to learn about building a strong family culture! Links Mentioned in This Episode: FREE Family Meeting Agenda Family Values and Goal-Setting Toolkit P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program Blog Posts on Family Meetings: Simple Family Meeting Agenda Ideas 8 Tips for Having a Family Meeting Connect with Adriane: Instagram: @raisingkidswithpurpose Website: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.com Email: hello@raisingkidswithpurpose.com Book a discovery call: http://raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat
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