You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.youcanbeboth.com for this and other resources. Join the You Can Be Both Community App https://youcanbeboth.mn.co/plans/1984569?bundle_token=a02f1c1a95e905aa187210545
What should Christian parents do when their child comes out as gay, transgender, or nonbinary? In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Shari Bruck—a mother of two LGBTQ+ children—to discuss faith deconstruction, religious fear, unconditional love, and what it truly means to support your child. Raised in a strict Catholic family, Shari grew up surrounded by religious shame, guilt, patriarchy, and the belief that there was only one acceptable path to God. As she began questioning those teachings, she developed a spirituality rooted not in fear or control, but in love, curiosity, acceptance, and our shared humanity. Years later, both of Shari’s children came out—Taylor as gay and Riley as LGBTQ+, gender-nonconforming, and using they/them pronouns. Shari shares honestly about what came naturally, what required learning, the mistakes she has made, and why parents do not need to understand everything about their child’s identity in order to love and respect them. This conversation explores: • How parents should respond when their child comes out • Why being LGBTQ+ is not a choice • Learning to use they/them pronouns • Supporting a nonbinary or gender-nonconforming child • Deconstructing harmful religious beliefs • The damage caused by shame, rejection, and religious fear • Why rejecting your LGBTQ child will not change who they are • Finding chosen family when your biological family does not accept you • Choosing love even when you do not fully understand As Shari powerfully explains, your child is still the same person you have always known and loved. Coming out does not change them—it allows you to know them more honestly and deeply. “You’re not going to pray the gay away. You’re not going to ostracize the gay away.” For every Christian parent struggling to understand their LGBTQ+ child, this episode offers a simple place to begin: pause, listen, ask questions, keep your heart open, and default to love. If your family has rejected you because of your sexuality or gender identity, please remember: you are worthy of love, you are not alone, and there are people who will accept you exactly as you are. Join the You Can Be Both Community: YouCanBeBoth.com Subscribe for honest conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, faith deconstruction, religious trauma, healing, inclusion, and discovering that you truly can be both. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Meet Shari Bruck 00:43 Growing up in strict Catholicism 02:38 Deconstructing religion and redefining spirituality 07:31 Creating a home where children feel safe 10:24 When Taylor came out as gay 15:16 Loving LGBTQ children without shame 23:50 Learning about nonbinary identity and they/them pronouns 31:19 Why parents should “default to love” 36:05 How to respond when your child comes out 40:37 Religious fear versus your child’s truth 45:08 Accepting yourself and finding chosen family 48:29 Let love be your guiding principle #LGBTQChristian #ChristianParents #YouCanBeBoth
If you've ever wondered whether you can be both LGBTQ+ and Christian, this conversation is for you. In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both , Lauren sits down with Mattie Mae Motl —a progressive Bible scholar, Master of Divinity graduate, and PhD candidate studying gender, sexuality, and the New Testament—to unpack some of Christianity's biggest questions. Together they discuss: ✨ Is being gay really a sin? ✨ What the Bible actually says about LGBTQ people ✨ The "clobber verses" explained ✨ Why Jesus never mentioned homosexuality ✨ How deconstruction can strengthen—not destroy—your faith ✨ Women, patriarchy, and the Bible ✨ Why love—not fear—is the lens Jesus taught us to read Scripture through ✨ How LGBTQ Christians can find peace with God Whether you're deconstructing your faith, healing from religious trauma, or simply searching for honest conversations about Scripture, this episode offers hope, compassion, and a fresh perspective rooted in biblical scholarship. If this conversation encouraged you, please LIKE , SUBSCRIBE , and share it with someone who needs to hear that you really can be both LGBTQ and a person of faith. ❤️ Join the You Can Be Both Community: youcanbeboth.com 🎙️ Follow Mattie Mae Motl: @mattiemaemotl 🎙️ Follow Lauren: @Lanzaretta 📖 Follow You Can Be Both: @youcanbeboth
In this powerful conversation, Lauren Lanzaretta interviews Pastor Kristian Smith—a straight, fifth-generation Baptist preacher and fierce LGBTQ+ advocate—about his journey from embedded homophobia to becoming one of the most vocal allies in the Black church community. Kristian shares how a simple question asked in seminary—"Did you choose your sexuality?"—completely transformed his theology. He discusses why so much homophobia is rooted in sexual discomfort, the importance of visibility in Black and queer communities, and what real allyship looks like in 2026. This is a must-watch for anyone seeking to understand intersectional faith, spirituality, and justice. About Kristian Smith: Public theologian, digital pastor, author of "Breaking All the Rules" and "Question Your Answers: A Deconstruction Survival Guide." Host of the Holy Smokes Cigar and Spirituality Podcast. Master's of Divinity from Mercer University's McAfee School of Theology. YOU CAN BE BOTH PODCAST: A faith-rooted, justice-centered conversation space for LGBTQ+ people and allies. Join Lauren Lanzaretta as she talks faith, identity, and what it means to be authentically yourself. CONNECT WITH US: 🌐 YouCanBeBoth.com 📱 Instagram: @youcanbeboth| @Lanzaretta ▶️ YouTube: SUBSCRIBE :) 🎵 TikTok: @youcanbeebothpodcast FOLLOW KRISTIAN SMITH: 📱 Instagram: @kristianasmith BOOK -- Breaking All The Rules: An Ancient Framework for Modern Faith: https://amzn.to/4f6XO6z
Together, they discuss: 🇺🇸 What America's founding ideals actually promised ✝️ The rise of Christian nationalism and how it differs from Christianity 🌈 Why LGBTQ rights remain under attack 📜 The meaning behind "all men are created equal" ❤️ How Christians can resist fear and choose love instead 🙏 Why fighting for equality is one of the most American things we can do Rather than giving up on America, Lauren and Tim explore why the country's 250th birthday can be an invitation to continue working toward the promise of liberty and justice for everyone . If you've ever wondered whether you can be proud of your country while also advocating for change, this conversation is for you.
Pride Month isn't about celebration. It's about survival. Lauren Lanzaretta breaks down the hard truth about why LGBTQ people need Pride Month in 2026. And why the criticism, the bills, the "Straight Pride Month" debate, and the political weaponization of trans people prove we need it now more than ever. THE FACTS: 10+ countries execute people for being gay 60+ countries criminalize same-sex relationships 27 U.S. states can still legally fire you for being LGBTQ (despite federal protections, there are loopholes) 36% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered suicide last year 800+ anti-LGBTQ bills were introduced in 2025 alone THE REALITY: LGBTQ+ people are kicked out of their homes by families. They're rejected by churches. They're targeted by politicians. They're assaulted in the streets. And yet, somehow, they're told to apologize for existing. This is why we need Pride. Not as a party. As a lifeline. Lauren discusses the systemic oppression, the cultural warfare, the spiritual battle, and what Jesus actually calls us to do: love radically. Not judge. Not exclude. Love. If you're LGBTQ+, you deserve to know you're not alone. If you're an ally, you need to understand what real solidarity looks like. If you're a person of faith, this will challenge everything you thought you knew about loving your neighbor. WATCH THIS IF: You're struggling with your identity You've been rejected by your church or family You want to understand why Pride Month matters You're an ally seeking to do better You believe in love over hate YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU MATTER. YOU CAN BE BOTH PODCAST: A faith-rooted, justice-centered conversation space where LGBTQ+ people know they can exist authentically—at faith and at full pride. COMMUNITY APP: Join the You Can Be Both community app for real friendships, weekly Zoom calls, guest speakers, meditations, wellness resources, and book club discussions (currently reading Forging a Sacred Weapon by Kathy Baldock). JOIN HERE: http://youcanbeboth.com/ CONNECT WITH LAUREN LANZARETTA: 🌐 YouCanBeBoth.com 📱 Instagram: @Lanzaretta ▶️ YouTube: SUBSCRIBE! 🎵 TikTok: @youcanbebothpodcast 📱 Instagram (Podcast): @youcanbeeboth
Sara Cunningham, founder of Free Mom Hugs, shares the powerful story of how she went from rejecting her gay son to leading an international movement that has impacted hundreds of thousands. It wasn't easy. When Sara's youngest son came out to her at 21, she didn't take it well. She was frozen in fear — terrified he would be condemned to hell, convinced that accepting him would make her a sinner too. She shamed him with the very best of intentions. But everything changed in 2014 when her son invited her to her first Pride parade. There, she met a girl who hadn't hugged her mother in four years because she was a lesbian. That hug — that moment — became the spark that ignited Sara's journey toward understanding, acceptance, and ultimately, unconditional love. Today, Free Mom Hugs is an international nonprofit movement with over 40,000 volunteers and 250 groups across the country. Sara has been featured on the Today Show, RuPaul's show, in People Magazine, and the Washington Post. But more importantly, she's helping thousands of LGBTQ+ people and their families find healing, belonging, and acceptance. In this episode, Sara opens up about: -The moment she found out her son was gay and how she initially responded -How her theology deconstructed and reconstructed-Finding an online community of 250 moms going through the same journey -The pivotal moment at Pride that changed everything -How Free Mom Hugs grew from a simple gesture into a global movement -Why visibility, education, and conversation matter -Her message to parents still struggling with their child's sexual orientation This episode is for anyone struggling with faith and LGBTQ identity, parents coming to terms with having an LGBTQ child, or anyone interested in the power of radical love and acceptance. You Can Be Both Podcast reminds you that you can be both LGBTQ+ and a person of faith. RESOURCES: Free Mom Hugs: freemomhugs.com Sara's Book: "How We Sleep at Night": https://amzn.to/3SSehTn Lauren's LGBTQ Healing and Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Lauren's Music: Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube — search Lauren Lanzaretta FOLLOW LAUREN: Instagram: @lanzaretta TikTok: @Lanzaretta YouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta
For more than 20 years, Leah Rae Yawn (formerly Shafer) was a gospel worship leader at Saddleback Church. She sang for Women of Faith, worked with Michael W. Smith and Natalie Grant, recorded multiple albums, and sung the national anthem at NFL games. Her voice and faith were her livelihood, her heart, and her life. Then she came out as gay — and lost it all. In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, Leah Rae opens up about her journey from a strict Christian upbringing to realizing she was bisexual, her 21-year marriage to a man, and the moment she met Captain Sandy Yawn from Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean — the first woman she ever truly loved. When the churches that had been her home for decades discovered her relationship with Sandy, they rejected her completely. She was no longer allowed to lead worship. Her platform vanished. The community she'd served for two decades turned their backs. But in losing everything, Leah found something greater: authenticity, freedom, and a partner who loves her unconditionally. In this episode, Leah shares: How she suppressed her sexuality for decades while leading worship The moment she knew she was drawn to women What it felt like to lose her church community overnight Her relationship with Captain Sandy and what true love means now Why LGBTQ+ people belong in church and can lead worship Her message to LGBTQ+ people still struggling in the closet or in unsupportive churches Leah's Powerful Message: "If you can't find a church that you feel like you belong to, there's so many other beautiful things out there that can help you thrive. Church is not a building — it's the soul." This is a conversation about faith, rejection, love, and reclaiming your voice. If you've been rejected by a faith community, if you're struggling to come out, or if you're navigating faith and sexuality — this episode is for you. FEATURED: -Leah Rae Yawn, Gospel Singer & Worship Leader (Now Married to Captain Sandy Yawn) -Host: Lauren Lanzaretta, You Can Be Both Podcast RESOURCES: Lauren's LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth FOLLOW: Leah Rae Yawn on Instagram: @leahraeofficial Captain Sandy Yawn on Instagram: @captainsandrayawn Below Deck Mediterranean on Bravo LAUREN: Instagram: @Lanzaretta Spotify: Lauren Lanzaretta Apple Music: Lauren Lanzaretta YouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta
For nearly 2,000 years, the word "homosexual" did not appear in the Bible. So what changed in 1946? Kathy Baldock is a leading voice on LGBTQ+ issues within Christianity and the author of "Forging a Sacred Weapon" and "Walking the Bridgeless Canyon." She's also featured in the award-winning documentary "1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture." In 1946, Bible translators made a controversial decision to add the word "homosexuality" to the Revised Standard Version of the Bible — a word that had never appeared in the original Greek and Hebrew texts. In this powerful conversation, Kathy reveals how that single mistranslation changed the course of Christian history and how that lie has been used to marginalize and oppress the LGBTQ+ community for decades. This isn't her opinion, it's FACTS . But Kathy's journey to this work wasn't always about LGBTQ+ issues. It started with her own experience of being stigmatized and marginalized in her Irish Catholic community. When she was two years old, her father left her family, and she was made to feel like something was wrong with her. That pain, that sense of injustice, eventually led her to meet Netto on a hiking trail — a woman who would change everything and introduce her to the LGBTQ+ community in a way that challenged everything she thought she knew. In this episode, Kathy shares: The real history behind the 1946 Bible mistranslation How religious institutions built oppression on a lie Why understanding history is the key to healing Her powerful message to LGBTQ+ people of faith How the heart of God is not reflected in discrimination and marginalization You definitely want to watch this one all the way through! Kathy's message at the end will leave you in tears! This is a conversation about faith, history, justice, and hope. If you've ever questioned what the Bible really says about LGBTQ+ people, this episode is for you. This isn't opinion, it's FACTS. FEATURED: Kathy Baldock, Author & Leading Voice on LGBTQ+ Issues in Christianity Host: Lauren Lanzaretta, You Can Be Both Podcast RESOURCES: -Lauren's LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide: http://youcanbeboth.com/ -Documentary "1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture": https://www.1946themovie.com/ -Kathy Baldock's Books: "Forging a Sacred Weapon": https://amzn.to/4oaBrQy "Walking the Bridgeless Canyon": https://amzn.to/4g5mBc6 Canyon Walker Connections: https://canyonwalkerconnections.com/about/kathy-baldock/ FOLLOW LAUREN: Instagram: @lanzaretta Spotify: Lauren Lanzaretta Apple Music: Lauren Lanzaretta YouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta
Michael Passons was a founding member of Avalon, one of the biggest Christian music groups of all time. He wrote and performed "Testify to Love," a song that became an icon of Christian music. But when he came out as gay, he was forced out of the band and lost everything. Now, Michael is rewriting his story — and breaking records doing it. He just rereleased "Testify to Love" as an LGBTQ+ affirming anthem with country artist Ty Herndon, and together they became the first openly gay artists to reach #1 on the iTunes Christian charts. In this episode of You Can Be Both, Michael sits down with host Lauren Lanzaretta to share his full journey: Growing up in rural Mississippi. His dream of becoming a Christian music artist. What it felt like to be kicked out of Avalon for being gay. His spiritual deconstruction and finding faith again on his own terms. And what it means to finally sing authentically. This is a powerful conversation about survival, resilience, and reclaiming your voice. IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT: Michael's journey as a founding member of Avalon and writing the iconic "Testify to Love" Growing up in rural Mississippi in a conservative Baptist church Realizing he was gay and the internal struggle that followed Being forced out of Avalon for coming out His spiritual deconstruction and stepping away from organized religion Finding his way back to faith and spirituality on his own terms Rereleasing "Testify to Love" as an LGBTQ+ affirming anthem with Ty Herndon Making history as the first openly gay artists to reach #1 on iTunes Christian charts What it means to sing and live authentically His message to LGBTQ+ people still in the closet Advice for worship leaders who've been kicked out of church The power of reclaiming your voice and your story FOLLOW MICHAEL: Instagram: @michaelpassonsSpotify: Michael PassonsApple Music: Michael PassonsYouTube: Michael Passons FOLLOW LAUREN: Instagram: @laurenlanzarettaYouTube: Lauren LanzarettaSpotify: Lauren LanzarettaApple Music: Lauren Lanzaretta FREE LGBTQ+ HEALING & RESOURCE GUIDE: Access Lauren's full story, healing resources, books, podcasts, and voices that have helped transform shame to freedom.Visit: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth
Mike Maeshiro spent 5 years as an instructor at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry — teaching, preaching, and living what he thought was his calling. But there was one problem: he was gay. From age 10, Mike knew he was different. He tried conversion therapy. He dated a woman to "fix" himself. He climbed the evangelical ladder at one of the most influential charismatic churches in the world — all while suppressing who he really was. Then in 2020, everything changed. A Taylor Swift documentary, a passage from Acts, and a spiritual awakening in the woods led Mike to a truth he'd been running from for 22 years: God wanted him to be gay. In this episode, Mike shares his journey from being kicked out of ministry school for confiding in a friend about his attraction to men, to becoming a paid staff member and instructor at the same institution, to finally coming out publicly in 2022 and walking away from everything he'd built. What we cover: Growing up evangelical and realizing he was gay at age 10 Being kicked out of Bethel ministry school after being outed by a friend Getting hired back and climbing the ministry ladder while suppressing his identity The spiritual experiences (including Taylor Swift's Miss Americana) that led to his coming out How he reconciled his faith with his sexuality through rigorous biblical study The cost of staying closeted vs. the freedom of coming out His work now helping LGBTQ people heal from religious trauma through Numa Mike is the founder of Numa, an organization supporting people healing from religious toxicity, especially within the LGBTQ community. Through coaching, speaking, and social media, he helps people live authentically and reclaim spirituality in affirming ways. Connect with Mike: Instagram/TikTok: @mikemaeshiroOrganization: Numa 📖 FREE LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothIncludes my full testimony + every book, podcast, and resource that helped me reconcile my faith and identity. 🎵 My Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube 📱 Follow: @lanzaretta@youcanbebothpodcast If you've ever felt caught between your faith and your identity, this conversation will remind you: you don't have to choose. #LGBTQChristian #BethelChurch #Deconstruction #ComingOut #ExEvangelical #ProgressiveChristianity #QueerTheology #ReligiousTrauma #FaithJourney #YouCanBeBoth
I met a woman in Clearwater who was shocked that I'm a Christian and didn't judge her. That moment made me realize something: the church has created a culture of inauthenticity — and it's pushing people away from God. In this solo episode, I'm talking about why so many people (straight and LGBTQ) feel like they can't be themselves in church, why LGBTQ Christians have a unique gift to offer the world, and why I'm done spending energy defending my faith instead of just living it. What we cover: Why the church creates "fake" Christians who can't be authentic The woman at the bar who was shocked I didn't judge her Why LGBTQ people have a special gift the church needs How to stop being defensive and start showing God's love Why being your authentic self IS true holiness The power of using your God-given gifts instead of suppressing who you are Why you can't fully serve God if you're not fully yourself This isn't about proving we're "Christian enough." It's about showing the world what real faith looks like — authentic, messy, loving, and unjudgmental. If you've ever felt like you have to wear a "church face" or hide parts of yourself to be accepted, this episode is for you. And if you're tired of the culture wars and just want to focus on the goodness of God — you're not alone. 📖 FREE LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbebothIncludes my full testimony + every book, podcast, and resource that helped me reconcile my faith and identity. 🎵 My Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube 📱 Follow: @lanzaretta@youcanbebothpodcast 💬 Share your story: YouCanBeBothPodcast@gmail.com Leave a comment and tell me: What has God done in your life as an LGBTQ person? Let's focus on the goodness of God, not defensiveness. #LGBTQChristian #AuthenticFaith #ChurchCulture #YouCanBeBoth #ProgressiveChristianity #QueerTheology #ChristianLove #BeYourself #FaithJourney #LGBTQAffirming
Can you be LGBTQ and Christian? Pastor Brandon Robertson says absolutely — and he's spent years studying the theology to prove it. In this conversation, Brandon breaks down why the "clobber passages" Christians use against gay people are mistranslations, misinterpretations, and taken out of historical context. We talk about Leviticus, Sodom and Gomorrah, Romans 1, and what Jesus actually said (or didn't say) about homosexuality. Brandon also shares his journey from growing up in fundamentalist evangelicalism to coming out and becoming one of the most prominent LGBTQ-affirming pastors in America. He talks about purity culture, deconstruction, progressive Christianity, and why he believes the Bible supports gay marriage. Topics we cover: Why Leviticus 18:22 doesn't condemn homosexuality What Sodom and Gomorrah was ACTUALLY about (hint: not gay people) Romans 1 and Paul's condemnation of temple prostitution — not loving relationships The difference between biblical interpretation vs. fundamentalism How evangelicalism weaponizes scripture against LGBTQ people Brandon's coming out story and losing his church community What progressive Christianity really means Why affirming theology is growing in the church More about Brandon Robertson: Brandon is a pastor, author, activist, and one of the leading voices for LGBTQ inclusion in Christianity. He's written multiple books on queer theology and leads an affirming church community. 📖 FREE LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 🎵 My Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube 📱 Follow: @lanzaretta@youcanbebothpodcast If you've ever been told you can't be gay and Christian, this conversation will change everything. #LGBTQChristian #ProgressiveChristianity #QueerTheology #ChristianLove #BrandonRobertson #YouCanBeBoth #GayPastor #BiblicalInterpretation #DeconstructingFaith #AffirmingChurch
Can you be transgender AND Christian? I'm answering this question directly — and what I learned completely changed my heart. In this episode, I talk about Neeza Powers, a trans Christian woman who faced thousands of hateful comments for being her authentic self. I break down what the Bible actually says about gender, explore Deuteronomy 22:5 in context, and explain why Jesus' ministry was focused on outcasts — not the religiously "perfect." WHAT WE TALK ABOUT: ✅ Neeza Powers' story — Trans Christian attacked online for being her authentic self ✅ Deuteronomy 22:5 debunked — What this verse ACTUALLY meant in historical context ✅ Why Christians cherry-pick Bible verses about gender but ignore others ✅ Intersex people & brain science — Gender isn't as binary as we think ✅ Jesus' ministry focused on outcasts — Not the religiously "perfect" ✅ How my heart changed after talking to trans Christians ✅ A call to love, not judge If you've ever wondered whether being trans conflicts with faith, or if you're a Christian trying to understand the LGBTQ+ community better, this is for you. 📖 FREE LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Includes my full testimony + every book, podcast, and resource that helped me reconcile my faith and identity. 🎵 My Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube 📱 Follow me :@lanzaretta @youcanbebothpodcast #TransChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianLove #YouCanBeBoth #TransRights #ProgressiveChristianity #QueerTheology #FaithAndIdentity
Here's why "ex-gay" stories are misleading — and why you don't need to change. I'm breaking down why it's impossible to be ex-gay and why these stories you see online are often rooted in trauma, bad behavior, or bisexuality/pansexuality— not actual sexual orientation change. What we're covering: Why trauma gets mistaken for sexual orientation How people confuse bad behavior with being gay The truth about bisexuality/pansexuality and "ex-gay" testimonies Why the algorithm is feeding you these stories The bottom line: You don't need to change. God loves you exactly as you are. Conversion therapy doesn't work, never has, and never will. Organizations like Exodus International have already admitted this and apologized for the harm they caused. If you're struggling with your identity, feeling pressured to change, or wondering why God hasn't "fixed" you — this episode is for you. 📩 NEED SUPPORT? Download my FREE LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide — it includes my full testimony, books, podcasts, and resources that helped me become confident in who I am and rooted in my relationship with God: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 🎵 MY MUSIC: I process my story through songwriting. Listen on Spotify, Apple Music, or YouTube: Search: Lauren Lanzaretta 📱 CONNECT WITH ME: Instagram: @Lanzaretta TikTok: @Lanzaretta Email: youcanbebothpodcast@gmail.com MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: 🎬 Pray Away (Netflix documentary about Exodus International) You are loved. You are seen. You are worthy. And you can be both gay and Christian. #GayChristian #ExGay #LGBTQChurch #ConversionTherapy #YouCanBeBoth #GayAndChristian #ChristianLGBTQ #PrayAwayTheGay #LGBTQFaith #QueerChristian #AffirmingTheology #ExodusInternational #LGBTQHealing
"For years, I stood in the pulpit and preached that homosexuality was a sin. I believed the Bible was clear. I thought I was right. I was wrong."In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Pastor Joe Smith, a straight, cisgender pastor who spent years preaching traditional, non-affirming theology—until his understanding completely transformed.This isn't a story about a pastor who came out. It's about a pastor who changed his mind .Joe shares his journey from confidently condemning LGBTQ+ people from the pulpit to becoming an advocate and ally. He talks about what scriptures he got wrong, what made him reconsider his theology, and why he now believes you absolutely CAN be gay and Christian. This conversation is for: ✅ Pastors and church leaders wrestling with LGBTQ+ theology✅ LGBTQ+ people hurt by the church✅ Parents trying to reconcile their faith and their LGBTQ+ child✅ Anyone who's been told they have to choose between faith and identity Joe shares: ✅ Why he used to preach against homosexuality✅ The moment he started questioning his theology✅ How he studied scripture with fresh eyes✅ What the "clobber passages" actually mean in context✅ The harm he caused and his journey toward repair✅ Why he now proudly affirms LGBTQ+ people✅ His message to pastors still preaching condemnation✅ His message to LGBTQ+ people hurt by the church IN THIS EPISODE: [00:00] Introduction[02:30] Joe's background: Growing up in conservative Christianity[08:15] Why he preached against homosexuality[14:40] The moment doubt crept in[22:10] Re-studying the "clobber passages"[30:45] What the Bible actually says (and doesn't say)[38:20] The harm of non-affirming theology[45:00] His apology to the LGBTQ+ community[52:15] What he wants other pastors to know[58:30] What he wants LGBTQ+ people to know[01:04:00] How churches can become truly affirming RESOURCES: 📖 Download the FREE LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide:👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth🏳️🌈 Crisis Support:The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth)GLAAD: Resources for LGBTQ+ ChristiansQ Christian Fellowship: Community for LGBTQ+ Christians 💜 Support the Mission: If this podcast has helped you, please consider donating to help us expand our reach and support more LGBTQ+ individuals and allies navigating faith and identity.👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth FOLLOW YOU CAN BE BOTH: 📸 Instagram: [@youcanbeboth]🎵 TikTok: [@youcanbeboth]🎙️ Podcast: Search "You Can Be Both" wherever you listen FOLLOW LAUREN LANZARETTA: 📸 Instagram: [@laurenlanzaretta]🎵 TikTok: [@laurenlanzaretta]🌐 Website: laurenlanzaretta.com SHARE THIS MESSAGE: 💬 Know a pastor questioning their theology? Share this episode.💬 Know an LGBTQ+ person hurt by the church? Send them this story of change.💬 Know parents struggling to reconcile faith and their child's identity? This is for them. 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss stories of transformation and hope.👍 Leave a comment—your story matters. The church CAN change. Theology CAN evolve. Love CAN win. You can be both. A NOTE FROM LAUREN: If you're a pastor or church leader reading this, please know: It's okay to change your mind. Admitting you were wrong takes more courage than doubling down on harmful theology. The LGBTQ+ community needs more leaders like Joe—people willing to do the hard work of rethinking what they were taught.If you're LGBTQ+ and you've been hurt by churches like the one Joe used to lead, please know: Not all pastors stay stuck. Some are willing to learn, grow, and change. And those who hurt you were wrong—not you.#AffirmingPastor #GayChristian #PastorChanges #AffirmingTheology #ReligiousTrauma #ChurchHurt #ProgressiveChristianity #LGBTQAffirming #YouCanBeBoth #ChristianAlly
NBA player Jaden Ivey was recently suspended for making homophobic comments about Pride Night, calling it "unrighteous" and against his Christian beliefs. But when did being Christian become about being the moral police instead of loving people? In this episode, I break down why Jaden Ivey's comments are the opposite of what Jesus taught, why Pride Night matters for LGBTQ+ people who have been marginalized and discriminated against for decades, and why Christians need to stop using their beliefs to justify hate. Here's the truth: LGBTQ+ people are human beings. We wake up, go to work, have families, and try to survive just like everyone else. We've been kicked out of churches, rejected by our families, physically assaulted, and even murdered simply for being who we are. And now, when the NBA says, "Hey, we're going to have ONE NIGHT where LGBTQ+ people can feel welcomed and safe," some Christians have a problem with it?That's not Christianity. That's bigotry. IN THIS EPISODE: ✅ Why Jaden Ivey's "beliefs" are actually harmful ✅ The difference between beliefs and bigotry ✅ How the Bible was used to justify slavery and segregation ✅ What Jesus actually said about loving marginalized people ✅ Why Christians who obsess over LGBTQ+ people might be struggling themselves ✅ A challenge to Christians: Go to Pride Night and meet real people ✅ Why "loving the sinner, hating the sin" is still hate QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: "When your beliefs start to take away the human rights of other people, they are no longer beliefs. You are just a homophobic and hateful bigot." "You are not earning any brownie points with God for hating on people." "Stop being narcissistic and thinking that you have all the answers. You are a sinner yourself, and God had mercy on you—so have mercy on others." RESOURCES: 📖 Download the FREE LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide: 👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 🏳️🌈 Crisis Support: The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth) PFLAG: Support for parents, families, friends, and allies of LGBTQ+ people Q Christian Fellowship: Community for LGBTQ+ Christians 💜 Support the Mission: If this podcast has helped you, please consider donating to help us expand our reach and support more LGBTQ+ individuals navigating faith and identity. 👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth FOLLOW YOU CAN BE BOTH: 📸 Instagram: [@youcanbeboth] 🎵 TikTok: [@youcanbeboth] 🎙️ Podcast: Search "You Can Be Both" wherever you listen FOLLOW LAUREN LANZARETTA: 📸 Instagram: [@laurenlanzaretta] 🎵 TikTok: [@laurenlanzaretta] 🌐 Website: laurenlanzaretta.com SHARE THIS MESSAGE: 💬 Know a Christian who needs to hear this? Share this video. 💬 Know an LGBTQ+ person hurt by comments like Jaden's? Send them this. 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss an episode. 👍 Leave a comment—I read every single one. You don't have to choose between your faith and loving LGBTQ+ people. You can be both. UPCOMING: 🎥 Testimony Tuesdays — Live testimonies every Tuesday on YouTube 📱 Community App — The largest community of LGBTQ+ people of faith in the world (coming soon!) 📞 One-on-One Calls — Personal support for your faith journey (launching soon!) A NOTE TO VIEWERS: If you're a Christian struggling with LGBTQ+ acceptance, I get it. I used to be homophobic too when I was in the closet. But I challenge you: stop othering people. Look at LGBTQ+ individuals as human beings loved by God who deserve respect and dignity. If you're LGBTQ+ and you've been hurt by Christians like Jaden Ivey, please know: You are not unrighteous. You are not an enemy of God. You are loved, valued, and worthy exactly as you are. #JadenIvey #PrideNight #NBA #ChicagoBulls #GayChristian #LGBTQChurch #ChristianLGBTQ #Homophobia #ChristianAthlete #PrideControversy #LGBTQRights #ChristianResponse #YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #QueerFaith #ReligiousTrauma #ChurchHurt #LGBTQTestimony #ChristianAlly #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChristianity
"I was a worship leader who sang about God's love every Sunday—while hiding who I really was. "In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Israel Isaac, a longtime megachurch worship leader who came out as gay four years ago and recently auditioned for America's Got Talent and appears on Bravo's Vanderpump Rules. For years, Israel led thousands of people in worship—pouring his heart into every song, every service, every moment on stage. But he was living a double life. He was gay, and he knew if anyone found out, everything would change. When Israel came out just four years ago, it cost him everything he knew—his church, his community, his sense of belonging. But it also gave him something he'd never had before: freedom. In this honest and vulnerable conversation, Israel shares his journey of growing up gay in the church, the pain of hiding, the courage it took to come out, and what happened when he finally stepped into his truth. From leading worship in front of 10,000 people to standing on the America's Got Talent stage and now appearing on Vanderpump Rules, Israel's story is proof that you don't have to choose between your faith and your identity. If you've ever felt like you had to hide who you are to be loved, this episode is for you. IN THIS EPISODE: ✅ Growing up gay in a religious community ✅ What it's like to lead worship while closeted ✅ Coming out four years ago and how it changed everything ✅ How the church responded ✅ Israel's journey to America's Got Talent ✅ Being on Bravo's Vanderpump Rules ✅ Finding self-acceptance and freedom ✅ Why you don't have to choose between faith and identity RESOURCES: 📖 Download the FREE LGBTQ+ Healing and Resource Guide: 👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 🏳️🌈 Crisis Support: The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth) GLAAD: Resources for LGBTQ+ Christians 💜 Support the Mission: If this podcast has helped you, please consider donating to help us expand our reach and support more LGBTQ+ individuals navigating faith and identity. 👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth FOLLOW YOU CAN BE BOTH: 📸 Instagram: [@youcanbeboth] 🎵 TikTok: [@youcanbeboth] 🎙️ Podcast: Search "You Can Be Both" wherever you listen FOLLOW LAUREN LANZARETTA: 📸 Instagram: [@laurenlanzaretta] 🎵 TikTok: [@laurenlanzaretta] 🌐 Website: laurenlanzaretta.com SHARE THIS MESSAGE: 💬 Know someone who needs to hear Israel's story? Share this episode with them. 🔔 Subscribe so you never miss a story of hope and healing. 👍 Leave a comment—your story matters. You don't have to choose between your truth and your faith. You can be both. #ComingOut #LGBTQChurch #WorshipLeader #ChristianLGBTQ #QueerFaith #AmericasGotTalent #AGT #VanderpumpRules #ComingOutStory #GayAndChristian #ChurchHurt #ReligiousTrauma #LGBTQYouth #QueerStories #FaithJourney #LGBTQTestimony #YouCanBeBoth #ChristianCommunity #QueerWorship #LGBTQAcceptance #LaurenLanzaretta #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChurch #IsraelIsaac #BravoTV #comingoutstory
What happens when a Harvard Divinity School graduate, public theologian and gardening philosopher sits down with an LGBTQ Christian podcast host for over an hour of raw, unfiltered conversation about faith, sexuality, race, the church and what it means to truly know God? This. This episode happens. Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Ciarra Jones — known as the Gardening Theologian — for one of the most thought-provoking, theologically rich and deeply personal conversations the You Can Be Both podcast has ever had. Ciarra is a writer, speaker and public theologian who helps people untangle inherited beliefs and cultivate a faith that is rooted, liberated and alive. In this episode, Lauren and Ciarra explore: 🌱 Growing up Black in all-white California towns — and what that teaches you about systems of power 📖 How Ciarra's parents' divorce led her into fundamentalist Christianity — and what it took to find her way out 🏳️🌈 What the church gets wrong about LGBTQ identity — and what a more expansive faith looks like ✝️ The difference between a punishing God and a gentle God — and who benefits from each 🌿 How gardening became a spiritual practice and a theological framework 💬 Ex-gay theology, deconstruction, inherited belief systems and what it means to truly be free Ciarra's closing message will stay with you: What does a gentle God look like — and what does that God offer us? This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like their faith and their identity couldn't coexist. You can be both. 🌱 FOLLOW CIARRA JONES: Instagram & TikTok: @TheGardeningTheologianPodcast: The Community Garden Podcast/Substack: The Gardening Theologian 📥 FREE LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide — Lauren's full testimony plus every book, podcast and voice that helped her move from shame to freedom: 👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: 🍎 Apple Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" 🎧 Spotify: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" ▶️ YouTube: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" 📲 FOLLOW LAUREN: Instagram: @LaurenLanzarettaTikTok: @LaurenLanzaretta YouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta 💛 LOVE THIS PODCAST? HERE'S HOW YOU CAN HELP: This podcast exists to remind every LGBTQ person of faith that they are not alone — and it reaches people because of YOU. ✅ Like this video — it tells the algorithm this conversation matters ✅ Leave a comment — share what resonated, ask a question, say hi ✅ Share this episode with one person who needs to hear it — a friend, a family member, someone still struggling in silence ✅ Subscribe so you never miss a Sunday episode 💛 Consider donating to help us expand this mission and reach more people who feel alone — every contribution helps us keep going and grow: https://account.venmo.com/u/youcanbeboth You are not confused. You are not broken. You are not too much. You can be both. #YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #GardeningTheologian #CiarraJones #LaurenLanzaretta #FaithAndSexuality #QueerChristian #Deconstruction #ChristianPodcast #LGBTQFaith #HarvardDivinity #BlackChristian #GentleGod #FaithAndPride #LGBTQHealing
What happens when a deeply Christian mom learns her daughter is gay — while sitting in a rainy parking lot before school? In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Staci Frenes — singer, songwriter, author and Christian mom — who shares the raw, emotional moment her daughter Abby came out to her at 16, and the years-long journey that followed as she learned to hold onto both her faith and her child. Staci's latest book, Love Makes Room, is a memoir about how she expanded her faith to fully embrace her daughter's LGBTQ+ identity — without letting go of God. This conversation is for every LGBTQ person who has feared coming out to their parents, and every parent who is trying to find their way.In this episode: 🏳️🌈 The moment Staci's daughter came out — and how she responded 🙏 How a conservative Christian mom reconciled her faith with her child's identity 💔 The two years of pain before Abby could say the words out loud ❤️ What Staci wants every LGBTQ person — and every parent — to hear 📖 How her book Love Makes Room is giving families a third way forward 📥 FREE LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide — includes Lauren's full testimony and every book, podcast and voice that helped her move from shame to freedom: 👉 laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 📖 Get Staci's book Love Makes Room — available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold: https://amzn.to/4t1zk2Q 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: 🍎 Apple Music: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" 🎧 Spotify: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" ▶️ YouTube: Search "Lauren Lanzaretta" 📲 FOLLOW LAUREN: Instagram: @Lanzaretta TikTok: @Lanzaretta YouTube: Lauren Lanzaretta 💬 If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear that they are not confused, not broken, not too much — and that they can be both. #YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #ChristianMom #LGBTQFaith #ComingOut #LoveMakesRoom #LaurenLanzaretta #ChristianPodcast #LGBTQHealing #FaithAndPride #ComingOutStory #ChristianParents #LGBTQParents #Affirming
Have you ever wondered if God actually loves you — or if the hate you've heard from others is the truth? In this solo episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta takes a break from guests to speak directly to her community about one of the most important questions LGBTQ people of faith wrestle with: does God love me, exactly as I am?Lauren reads a powerful listener testimony from a woman who grew up Amish, survived years of sexual abuse, came out as a lesbian, and found her way back to God — and uses it to explore how we separate a loving God from the painful messages we've received from religion and family. This episode is for anyone who has been told they're going to hell, who has walked away from their faith because of shame, or who is quietly wondering if there's still a place for them at God's table. There is.Lauren also shares exciting updates on what's coming for the You Can Be Both community — including a private community app, one-on-one mentoring calls, live retreats, and monthly group Zoom calls.In this episode:-A moving listener testimony about surviving abuse, coming out, and returning to faith-How to separate God's love from hateful religious messaging-Why your relationship with God as an LGBTQ person is powerful — not disqualified-A prayer over every person listening this week-Exciting community updates including a private app, mentoring calls, and live eventsFree LGBTQ Healing and Resource Guide — including Lauren's full testimony and every book, podcast, and voice that helped her move from shame to freedom — https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth📧 Sign up for community updates and be the first to know when the app launches: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeJWqrj3WinN-Li_TqY3RtMc8L3WTUw9jCikDQ6NPtyjOlAJg/viewform💛 If this podcast has helped you, consider sharing it with someone who needs it — or donating to help this message reach people still struggling in silence.Find Lauren's music on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music — search Lauren Lanzaretta📲 Follow You Can Be Both:Instagram | TikTok | YouTubeNew episodes every Sunday at 11 a.m.
