Don't Let The Old Man In

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with author and hospice medical director Dr Jordan Grumet to discuss what we get wrong about finding purpose, how to discover the difference between purpose and meaning, and what steps to take to build yours. CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 02:05 - Meaning vs Purpose 05:12 - Big P vs Little P Purpose 06:52 - Purpose Anchors: how to find them 11:58 - The Rosebud Effect: How old stories hold you back 24:25 - Pivoting careers in midlife 31:14 - The "once I have" syndrome 39:02 - How to integrate passion into work without quitting everything 44:55 - What hospice teaches about regret and a good death 52:35 - Purpose is simple, easy and abundant 56:05 - Final words of wisdom For more Don't Let the Old Man In, subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ Read The Purpose Code: https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Code-meaning-maximize-happiness/dp/1804090859 Find Dr Jordan's Substack: https://www.earnandinvest.com/ #midlife #purpose #findingpurpose Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with brain health expert Dr Helena Popovic to uncover what reduces the risk of dementia, the signs to look out for, and how to take or cognitive health into our own hands. Subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ Learn more about Dr Helena's work here: https://drhelenapopovic.com/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 02:42 Her father's diagnosis and what it taught her 04:39 What dementia actually is 05:43 Early symptoms vs normal forgetting 07:41 The reversible causes doctors miss 11:30 Why dementia is more common in women 18:40 Risk factors for men — and blood pressure 26:00 Your beliefs about ageing predict your fate 31:21 How your brain changes at 40 34:16 Neuroplasticity explained 39:12 Awe, novelty and travel 45:50 Social connection and relationships 46:56 Why strength training is the key 54:15 Why brain health isn't common knowledge 59:12 Dr Helena's final advice Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with Paul Drayton (author of Ride – Or Die Trying) to dive into his ADHD diagnosis in midlife, his struggles with alcohol addiction, and coming to grips with his neurodivergence gave him purpose in the second half of life. Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ Read Ride – Or Die Trying: https://www.amazon.com.au/Ride-Trying-before-during-laughter/dp/1918428441 CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 01:50 Pleasing Others and the Influence of Family 04:14 Discovering ADHD Later in Life 07:25 The Diagnosis and Its Impact 12:59 Overwhelm and Self-Medication with Alcohol 17:24 Realizing There's No Trauma, Just ADHD 21:03 Managing Benders and Guilt 25:09 Moving Forward and Personal Growth 37:09 Reflecting on Life and Future Goals 42:34 Love Yourself to Manage Challenges 44:52 Final Thoughts and Advice for Listeners #sobriety #adhd #midlife Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with entrepreneur and author Steve Pratt about how selling his business drove him to find his purpose after 50, which he found by running midlife experiments. We discuss what he's tried, how its helped him and why you should try them yourself. Read Steve Pratt's substack: https://thecreativityguild.substack.com/ Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 01:41 The “Lego Businessman” identity 05:38 Fitting in versus standing out 09:48 Selling the business and facing the messy middle 13:20 Letting go of scoreboards, wearables, and optimization 21:35 Exploring ketamine-assisted therapy 29:44 Doing stand-up comedy with his daughter 33:50 Taking a break from the phone—and Wordle 36:46 Sharing a vulnerable journey with family 41:03 The cost of personal experiments 43:16 Becoming fully yourself 46:13 One experiment to start tomorrow 49:52 What Steve would tell his 25-year-old self Don't Let the Old Man In does not condone the use of illegal drugs. #findingpurpose #trynewthings #midlife Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with behavioural scientist Nicholas Epley, to unpack why social connection is so important for overall happiness, how to make new friends in midlife, and why men shouldn't fear striking up a chat with strangers. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 02:30 Research on talking to strangers 05:21 The train ride realisation 11:00 Personality, expectations, and social interaction 15:54 Approaching VS Avoiding 20:42 Experiments on talking to strangers during commutes 24:05 The role of voice in communication and understanding 34:07 Making friends in midlife and the power of warmth 41:55 Belonging, competence, and human needs 47:51 Lessons from Nick's daughter 51:53 Final tips: When in doubt, reach out Get A Little More Social: https://www.amazon.com.au/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540 Subscribe to our newsletter for more DLTOMI: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ #midlife #socialanxiety #midlifecrisis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with Ian Westmoreland, a successful IT worker who left it all behind at age 59 to pursue a second half of purpose and fulfilment. We discuss what drove him to make a change, men's mental health, the honour of being awarded an Order of Australia Medal, and much more. Learn about Mentoring Men: https://www.mentoringmen.org.au/about Find out about Kintsugi Heroes: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/ Subscribe to our newsletter for more DLTOMI: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction to Ian's Life and Transformation 01:19 The Message That Changed Ian's Life 12:11 The Power of Listening and Being Heard 20:41 The Metaphor of Kintsugi in Healing 24:32 Connecting Through Culture and Stories 36:00 The Impact of Vulnerability and Emotional Openness 37:09 The Work of Kintsugi Heroes and Storytelling 44:55 Reflections on Success, Love, and Life's Purpose 48:47 Final Thoughts and Advice #midlife #findingpurpose #mensmentalhealth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with Dr Kathryn Page (organisational psychologist and author of Good Work) to understand what is draining our energy in the workplace, why burnout looks different in men, and the importance of maintaining identity outside of our work. Learn more about Dr Kat Page's book here: https://www.drkatpage.com/about-4 Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction to the episode and guest 02:17 Growing up in a police family and its influence 07:45 Work to live versus live to work 14:56 The concept of the third space and its significance 25:42 The effort recovery framework explained 42:23 Languishing versus flourishing and how to move forward 01:02:20 Final thoughts and message for future generations #burnout #psychology #midlife Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with Mark Beretta (Sunrise TV Presenter and ambassador for the Butterfly Foundation) about young men's mental health today, how eating disorders are underdiscussed in society, and how he's reinvented himself throughout his life. Learn more about the Butterfly Foundation: https://butterfly.org.au/ Subscribe to our newsletter for more DLTOMI: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 02:04 Early life, water skiing, and family memories 04:19 Lessons from sport and its role in personal development 06:36 Career in television and the evolution of Sunrise 10:30 Caring for aging parents 19:28 Eating disorders: what dads need to know 32:47 Reinvention and following passions in midlife 42:24 Involvement in the Australian reserves and service to country 48:24 The importance of friendships and social connections 52:43 Reflections on life, aging, and legacy #eatingdisorders #midlife #parentingtips Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with sobriety coach Sarah Rusbatch to understand grey area drinking, how our relationship to alcohol can change in midlife, and the simple way to determine the tradeoffs we do and don't want to make for alcohol. Learn more about Sarah's work here: https://sarahrusbatch.com/ Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 02:05 What is Grey Area Drinking 04:06 Early experiences with alcohol 06:19 Transition from social drinking to career-driven drinking 08:16 Moving to Australia and using alcohol to fill voids 13:50 The slow decline into problematic drinking 17:32 The moment of decision to quit alcohol 24:21 Why moderation is often not an option 32:49 Defining Grey Area Drinking and its challenges 37:43 Tools and strategies for quitting alcohol 45:02 The benefits of sobriety and life transformation 01:00:18 Looking ahead: aging and living alcohol-free 01:01:28 Advice for starting the conversation about alcohol with loved ones Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's powerful episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with author Oliver Christen to discuss his deeply moving book As She Chose, the story of his mother's self-determined end-of-life journey. Learn more about As She Chose: https://www.amazon.com.au/As-She-Chose-conscious-lived/dp/1764067827 Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction to the conversation on end-of-life choices 01:21 Why this topic matters: removing fear of death 02:10 Early memories of Oliver's mother 06:21 Global overview of assisted dying laws 08:46 Why Oliver's mother chose assisted dying 11:07 The criteria for voluntary stopping eating and drinking 16:41 Understanding death fasting from a spiritual perspective 20:58 Living fully and purposefully 21:52 The gap between wishes and reality in end-of-life care 25:39 The process and experience of fasting for death 28:16 Letting go of identity and expectations 30:56 The importance of presence and acceptance 33:12 Acts of love and creating meaningful moments 37:28 Supporting loved ones through physical decline 39:25 The significance of signs and nature in end-of-life 44:56 Reflections on conversations and relationships 50:39 Conscious completion and letting go 56:27 What Oliver learned about his mother 01:07:38 Final words of wisdom: live fully and have the conversation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, Erin Buttermore makes her second appearance on the show to dive back into the imposter phenomenon, including how it creates a "capability trap" that follows people as they grow their success. Subscribe to our newsletter here: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro 02:47 The paradox: it never counts either way 05:06 Why imposter feelings get worse the higher you go 08:38 When the whole organisation runs on your nervous system 10:26 Self-handicapping: the other way we protect ourselves 13:08 The first question to ask yourself 14:44 We mistake distress for discipline 16:36 Achieving through yourself vs achieving through others 19:31 What this costs your family 25:32 How ambition changes in midlife 28:02 Escape fantasy or a genuine change of direction? 33:17 The two conversations to have with yourself 35:09 Why letting go is the hardest part 39:53 Self-compassion has a terrible PR problem 46:25 Shame is a very expensive fuel source 47:46 The three steps 49:13 Setting standards for the things that actually matter 57:46 What people won't let go of 58:59 Listener question: imposter in one part of life 01:01:26 The price you pay for growth #impostersyndrome #psychology #midlife Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we sit down with Andrew May (high performance coach to the Wallabies, Australian cricket, and some of the country's biggest CEOs) to understand how our building capacity and better recovery can be the best cure for burnout. Read Andrew May's book: https://performanceintelligence.com/matchfit-book/ Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 – Intro 02:41 – Why we don't have a burnout problem 04:22 – The real definition of burnout (and the WHO's updated criteria) 07:33 – Vitamin FLPJ: fun, laughter, play, joy 09:57 – Organisational burnout vs taking accountability 11:36 – The four types of capacity elite CEOs train 14:23 – What executives' blood tests reveal: iron, vitamin D, testosterone 16:29 – Purpose vs performance: why purpose is hard and most men skip it 20:08 – Performance-based identity vs purpose-based identity 23:03 – Andrew's own burnout story: walking away from a seven figure exit 25:12 – The five metrics that actually measure your capacity 27:59 – The "50 to the power of 4" benchmark: heart rate, HRV, VO2 max 40:55 – Wearables, cold plunges and the truth about sauna 49:25 – The capacity model: green, moderate, high and extreme risk 57:05 – Three simple things to do this week 1:06:05 – Andrew's final word of wisdom Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with positive psychologist Dr Suzy Green to understand why the drive to achieve fades in midlife, why so many people begin to feel invisible at work, and much more. Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ Follow Don't Let the Old Man In on social media: https://linktr.ee/dontllettheoldmanin CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 03:14 Why Shift Focus from What's Wrong to What's Right 07:48 Understanding the Broad Scope of Positive Psychology 11:36 Achievement, Meaning, and Developmental Shifts 14:02 The Role of Mattering and Anti-Mattering 19:21 Proactive Strategies for Life Transitions 22:12 William Bridges' Transition Model 23:29 Aligning Values and Strengths During Change 25:53 Growth After Trauma and Adversity 27:17 The Power of Support and Relationships 31:01 Preparing for Endings and New Beginnings 33:48 The Importance of Social Connections and Mattering 37:41 The Concept of Might and Using Strengths 38:48 Building Resilience Through Mindfulness and Attentional Control 41:02 Practical Daily Practices for Well-Being 44:39 The Impact of Gratitude on Mood and Perspective 45:55 Mindfulness and Being Present in Daily Life 49:20 The Role of Meditation and Attention Training 53:03 Encouragement to Explore Positive Psychology Further 54:16 Reflecting on the Future and Life Purpose #psychology #midlife #positivity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Don't Let the Old Man In, we speak with ex money broker Tom Cronin, who left his role after a nervous breakdown caused by his lifestyle. Tom went on to found The Stillness Project, aiming to inspire 1 billion people to meditate every day, to help them alleviate the same issues Tom faced in his own life. CHAPTERS: 0:00 - Intro 4:30 — The reality of life on a trading floor 7:38 — Burnout, chronic anxiety & the nervous breakdown 8:34 — Why high-performing men suffer in silence 10:26 — From broker to meditation teacher (and what his mates said) 21:10 — The science behind meditation 26:15 — Saunas, sleep & holistic health for stress management 30:29 — Tom's personal journey with meditation 34:02 — The General vs Soldier analogy 38:45 — Tom's full morning routine for peak performance 46:10 — Gratitude, journaling & the law of attraction 48:17 — How Tom visualised his future 56:20 — How to meditate: a simple technique to start tonight 1:05:10 — The three acts of life & finding your purpose 1:08:20 — Why joy and fun are non-negotiable in your third act Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of Don’t Let the Old Man In, we explore the vital role grandparents can play in supporting children’s mental health, confidence, resilience, and sense of belonging. Our guest, Melissa, creator of The Art of Mentoring and author of Will Your Grandkids Be Okay? , explains why grandparents are uniquely positioned to become trusted mentors and steady sources of wisdom in an increasingly uncertain world. We discuss how grandparents can: Build stronger intergenerational relationships Support young people experiencing loneliness or emotional challenges Share family stories that strengthen identity and resilience Ask questions that encourage curiosity and critical thinking Create meaningful rituals and traditions Model the behaviors they want to pass on Offer guidance without becoming controlling Set healthy boundaries while staying connected Check out "Will Your Grandkids Be Ok?" here: https://amzn.asia/d/07DOIZB8 Whether you are a grandparent, parent, mentor, or trusted adult, this conversation offers practical ideas for helping young people feel grounded enough to grow and confident enough to face the future. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reclaim Your Energy: Insights from Dr. Mantha Imber Discover practical strategies to boost your energy, prevent burnout, and prioritize your well-being. Dr. Mantha Imber shares her personal journey through exhaustion and her innovative approaches to managing energy better, emphasizing a shift from time management to energy management. In this episode: How energy is the most precious resource and why we often neglect it The concept of the "getting hit by a bus" fantasy and recognition of burnout signs The evolution of her "Never Again List" from humbling experiences The science behind scent, natural environments, and breathing techniques to boost energy How to identify your energy "types" (Me Mode vs. Wii Mode; Ambition vs. Anxiety) The importance of protecting your energy with clear boundaries and "To Don't" lists Simple yet powerful "boost" and "rest" strategies, including peppermint scent and cyclic sighing The benefits of nature immersion, like forest bathing, for mental reset Turning energy management into a gamified process to build sustainable habits Transitioning into a healthier second act with energy awareness Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction: Why energy is the ultimate resource 00:19 - Personal humbling and the "getting hit by a bus" fantasy 02:01 - Recognizing burnout through personal stories 03:46 - Lessons learned from public speaking mishaps and creating "Never Again" list 04:45 - The impact of alarm clock codependency 06:09 - Transition from control to awareness and boundary setting 07:36 - How exhaustion affects decision-making and daily routines 08:54 - Re-evaluating the role of writing and leadership in energy management 10:28 - Why endurance and "pushing through" might be harmful 12:04 - Recognizing the limits of pushing and the effects of chronic depletion 13:46 - Using humbling experiences to clarify boundaries and priorities 15:12 - The role of humility in recognizing what no longer serves you 16:07 - The "Never Again List" as a tool for boundaries 17:36 - Conscious decision-making with "To Don't" and "To Do" lists 19:36 - Society's normalization of exhaustion and its implications 20:42 - The importance of running energy experiments with a large group 22:03 - The Mi Mode and Wii Mode energy types and their significance 23:15 - Navigating between Drive and Anxiety-driven energy states 24:54 - Recognizing personal energy patterns and managing anxiety vs. ambition 27:37 - How body awareness can guide energy conservation 28:19 - Strategies: Fast energy boosts, rest, and protection tactics 31:02 - Peppermint scent and other quick resets for energy boost 33:52 - The power of gratitude practices and "Three Good Things" 36:11 - Breathing exercises like cyclic sighing for instant calm 38:25 - Forest bathing and the impact of nature on recovery 41:53 - Identifying and avoiding "energy vampires" with the Points Chart 44:54 - Practical tools for everyday energy management like cold water immersion and silent walks 50:19 - Making energy management a fun, experimental game 56:33 - Transitioning into the second-act energy mindset 62:16 - Final words: Prioritize your energy above allResources & Links: Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Earlier this week on Don't Let the Old Man In, we sat down with nutritionist Dr Jessica Turton to understand the truth about weight loss during midlife, including how the most popular weight loss trends can have the wrong idea. In this special follow-up Actions episode, host Pod O'Sullivan gives you the best advice from his conversation with Dr Jessica, including 3 things you can do in your own life to achieve your weight loss goals. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Don't Let the Old Man In, nutritionist and PhD researcher Jessica Turton reveals why low-calorie diets are scientifically designed to fail, how insulin resistance is silently sabotaging fat loss in men, and the counterintuitive approach that's helping people reverse type 2 diabetes, lose weight, and feel free around food again. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction and Jessica's background 01:48 Jessica's journey from dieting to research 05:02 The impact of calorie restriction on metabolism 10:03 The Minnesota starvation experiment findings 14:57 Insulin, glucose, and fuel prioritization 19:53 Understanding insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes 25:13 The effects of restrictive diets on mental health 29:56 Reversing metabolic suppression with proper nutrition 35:04 Practical food choices for insulin resistance 40:04 Gender differences in fat storage and metabolism 45:09 How to approach dietary change for health 50:08 Food freedom and sustainable eating habits 55:03 Jessica's final advice for lasting health Suggest a topic you'd like us to cover: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/suggestions/ Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ Follow us on social media: https://linktr.ee/dontllettheoldmanin Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Don't Let the Old Man In, we spoke to two men who led drastically different lives and careers, but who both ended up at the same place: square one. Allan Tillack and Andy Sheats both started from scratch in midlife to pursue purpose and fulfillment. In this follow-up Actions episode, host Pod O'Sullivan gives you the most important parts from our interview with Allan and Andy, including the 3 ways you can implement their wisdom in your own life to make a change. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Allan Tillack and Andy Sheats were both executives at the heights of their careers, having reached the top of the ladder. But then, they walked away and left it all behind to design a life they could be content with. In this episode of Don't Let the Old Man In, Alan (ex-Country Head, Big Pharma) and Andy (ex-CTO, Silicon Valley) share the real story behind starting over at 50, including the doubts, the breakthroughs, and the blueprint they wish they'd had sooner. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Introduction and overview of life transformation stories 01:01 The importance of grappling with life's big questions 02:23 Career reflections and the desire for meaningful work 04:45 Alan and Andy’s career journeys and pivotal moments 08:03 Recognizing burnout and the need for change 12:11 The impact of executive coaching on leadership development 17:00 The power of feedback and vulnerability in leadership 21:48 Designing a purposeful second half of life 26:14 The role of reflection and self-awareness in transition 31:30 The importance of authentic leadership and clear communication 37:19 Strength, vulnerability, and redefining what it means to be strong 44:28 Building a second half of life aligned with personal values 52:42 Practical advice for starting your life transition 01:00:26 The significance of knowing oneself and staying true 01:04:42 The importance of relationships and social connection 01:06:41 Final words of wisdom and encouragement Subscribe to our newsletter: https://dontlettheoldmanin.com/subscribe/ Follow us on social media: https://linktr.ee/dontllettheoldmanin Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.