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Published by Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino
Equal-ish is all about that precise intersection of parenthood, work, and being in a relationship. This funny, wonderful, messy, frustrating process is possible - but not easy! Join Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs every week to help you find your equal-ish household balance.
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Equal-ish is back for Year Two! After 55 episodes exploring the research, systems and social norms that make equity at home so difficult, Kate and Rachel are back, and this year they're asking a different question: What if knowing what's hard isn't enough? We've learned a lot over the last year. We've explored all the latest research that explain why equity at home is so hard. We know about workplace barriers. We know how gender norms shape parenting, relationships and family life. And yet... we still find ourselves doing the very things we know we shouldn't. Rachel puts up barriers to taking time for herself. Kate finds herself exhausted after trying to make everyone else happy. So in Year Two we're going beyond diagnosis. This season, Equal-ish is widening the conversation, exploring the stories we tell ourselves, the habits we inherit, the expectations we never consciously chose, and the unexpected ideas that might help us do things differently. From boyhood and dad brains to storytelling, AI, anger, adolescence and the everyday ways we divide up family life, Kate and Rachel are looking beyond the usual suspects and asking: What other ideas, perspectives and possibilities could help us write our own rules? We're not here to tell you how to have the perfect family. We're figuring it out too. Welcome to Year Two of Equal-ish. And remember: if it were easy to be equal-ish, we wouldn't need this podcast. Here's some links to a few of our upcoming guests if you want to read ahead: Dad Brain, by Darby Saxbe No One Loves an Angry Woman, by Gemma Hartley Mom Life Comics
We're taking a break over the summer and replaying some of your favourite episodes. Today we're revisiting our conversation with podcast friend Alex Trippier where he gave us his honest perspectives about his personal journey from being clueless to enlightened in all things equal-ish and mental load. Enjoy! Discovering concepts like mental load, matrescence, and motherhood ideals really can fundamentally reframe your understanding of parenting as a partnership. In today’s conversation, Rachel, Kate talk to Alex Trippier, host of the Be a Happier Parent podcast about his fatherhood journey, the strain young children put on his relationship, and the turning point—from believing he was an “involved dad” to realising he had completely missed the invisible emotional, cognitive and cultural pressures shaping his wife’s experience. It’s time to redefine fulfillment as a father beyond achievement and into meaningful family connection. Here are two of the Be a Happier Parent episodes that we referenced in our interview: The magic of caregiving with Elissa Straus What do dads do? With Steve Biddulph These are the books Alex referenced: The Motherhood Complex by Melissa Hogenboom Matrescence by Lucy Jones Fair Play by Eve Rodsky Beyond Baby Talk by Rachel Childs Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs or get in touch at equalishpod@gmail.com
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying some of ours, and your favourite episodes. This week we're revisiting our conversation with Dr Anna Machin. This really was one of our all time favourite conversations. Anna has so much to share about the evolution of fatherhood and dispelling myths about our modern definition of the breadwinner role. Enjoy! In this episode, evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin challenges everything you thought you knew about fatherhood. From hormone shifts and brain changes to the unique ways dads build attachment, Anna unpacks why fathers are wired to be caretakers, not just breadwinners, and how their involvement shapes resilience, social skills, and mental health in children. Kate and Rachel dive into: The evolutionary roots of fatherhood and why caregiving, not earning, is innate. How dads uniquely “scaffold” children’s growth and prepare them for the world. The importance of secure attachment, sensitive parenting, and playful involvement. Why societal norms and workplace cultures, not biology, often prevent dads from fully engaging. How couples can use pregnancy to prepare for parenthood, maintain relationship strength, and navigate the early years together. This episode is essential listening for any parent, partner, or parent-to-be who wants to understand the science behind equal parenting, and how to put it into practice in today’s world. Meet Anna and explore her books: https://annamachin.com/ Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs or email us at equalishpod@gmail.com.
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying our most listened to episodes. This interview with Corinne was one of ours (and your) favourites it the way Corinne uses her behavioural economics lens to how we think about our time, utility and finances as parents. Enjoy!! In this episode of Equal-ish , Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs are joined by economist and author Dr. Corinne Low , whose book Having It All blends rigorous data with deeply human stories about work, love and parenthood. Corinne takes us inside the economics of the modern household — explaining why gender equality at home has stalled, why parenting time has exploded, and why women’s stress and burnout aren’t personal failures but predictable outcomes of a broken system. Drawing on time-use data, labour market research and behavioural economics, she unpacks the myths we still cling to: from romanticising the 1950s household to assuming equality will “sort itself out.” Together, we explore invisible labour, status quo bias, reproductive capital, and the parenting “arms race” that’s making family life feel impossible — especially for working mothers. Most importantly, Corinne offers a practical, empowering reframe: how women can stop trying to “lean in” to a broken system and instead renegotiate work, partnership and parenting on more sustainable terms. If you find yourself asking: Why does this still feel so hard, and what can we actually do about it? This conversation is for you. Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs or get in touch with us at equalishpod@gmail.com.
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying a few of your favourite episodes. This week, we're sharing one of the very first conversations we had, with Zach Watson, the reformed 'man-child'. Enjoy! Are men choosing to ignore the mental load because they subconsciously still believe it is women’s work? Rachel and Kate try to answer that question with this week’s guest, Zach Watson. Zach is a former middle school math teacher turned viral content creator and invisible labor coach for modern dads. Zach’s marriage nearly ended in 2018 because he was in default mode and letting his wife do it all. Now he talks very openly about how that happened, what he is doing to make changes, and why other men might be motivated to take household equality seriously. Known for his honest, often hilarious take on the mental load in parenting, Zach speaks from real experience. And as a result now has over 120 million views and a growing community of ‘recovering man-children,’ through sharing his practical tools and relatable stories. Zach Watson Instagram Zach Watson YouTube Channel Zach Watson Facebook Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs or email us equalishpod@gmail.com.
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying our most listened to episodes. Molly was our very first guest on Equal-ish. Whether you've listened to her before, or joined the pod later, this conversation is not to be missed. Molly's insights into relationships through parenthood really are the foundations for everything we talk to. Enjoy! In this conversation with psychologist and author of To Have and To Hold, Molly Millwood, Kate and Rachel explore how reciprocity in relationships can feel so hard to achieve. We unpack with Molly the subtle ways women are socialized to give away power, why women’s “free time” so often includes caregiving, and how unequal dynamics impact both mothers and fathers. Together we reflect the hidden costs for men who disconnect from early fatherhood, and the damage relationships can suffer if these imbalances go unaddressed. Meet Kate & Rachel here: https://linktr.ee/equalish and get in touch with us at: equalishpod@gmail.com Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold: https://www.mollymillwood.com/book If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.
One year. Fifty episodes. Twenty-seven incredible guests. Hundreds of hours of conversations, editing, voice notes, and learning. In this special anniversary episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino look back on the biggest ideas that have shaped their thinking over the first year of Equal-ish and discover that the podcast has become something much bigger than they ever imagined. We revisit the moments that completely changed how they think about parenting, relationships, gender, the mental load, power, and community. We share the questions we're still wrestling with, why we believe the conversation around equality needs to move beyond household chores, and where we're taking Equal-ish next. Whether you've listened from episode one or you're joining us for the first time, this is the perfect place to reflect on how far we've come and where we're heading next. In this episode we discuss: The guest insights that fundamentally changed our thinking Why Equal-ish is becoming about more than gender and parenting Individual responsibility versus broken systems Why relationships, not independence, may be the key to lasting change The biggest unanswered questions we're taking into Year Two What we've learned from 50 episodes and 27 expert guests Why your conversations matter more than ever Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs . Contact us with your feedback and future podcast ideas: equalishpod@gmail.com
Over the last four episodes, we've spoken to four very different guests, but one theme kept appearing. What if adulthood isn't about becoming completely independent? What if love isn't about fixing other people's problems? And what if the greatest gift we can give our children (and our partners) isn't rescuing them, but believing they're capable? In this Equal-ish Edit, Rachel and Kate unpack the unexpected connections between conversations with Paige Connell, Nick Shackleton-Jones, Deborah Porter and Dr Stephen Blumenthal. Together we explore: Why we've confused love with doing. The difference between rescuing someone and creating safety. Why curiosity may be a greater marker of adulthood than independence. How stepping back can be one of the hardest—and most loving—things we ever do. Why building an equal partnership starts by examining ourselves, not changing our partner. This isn't an episode about having all the answers. It's an invitation to stay curious, sit beside discomfort, and rethink what it really means to care for the people we love. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs . Contact us with your feedback and future podcast ideas: equalishpod@gmail.com
From childhood, many boys are taught to be tough, independent and resilient. What is the cost of the lessons they’re taught? In this episode of Equal-ish, psychotherapist Stephen Blumenthal explores why so many men struggle to express vulnerability, seek help, or even recognise when they're suffering. Drawing on decades of experience working with men, Stephen explains how shame, biology, culture and early attachment all shape the way men experience emotions and relationships. Together, Rachel, Kate and Stephen unpack why fatherhood often feels less clearly defined than motherhood, why talking therapies can unintentionally miss men's needs, and how creating a genuine sense of safeness rather than simply telling people to "open up" could transform relationships. This is a thoughtful conversation about imperfection, intimacy, emotional connection and why equal partnerships aren't built by having all the answers they're built by creating spaces where both people feel safe enough to be themselves. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Meet Stephen Blumenthal: https://stephenblumenthal.com/ Guardian article: ‘They’re taught that showing feelings is shameful’: eight reasons men don’t go to therapy – and why they should Don’t forget to buy your copy of Kate Washington’s Midstream: A Life Remade in 50 Swims Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs . Contact us with your feedback and future podcast ideas: equalishpod@gmail.com
Everyone talks about the sleepless nights of having babies. Almost no one talks about what happens when your children become adults. In this episode of Equal-ish , Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino speak with workplace parenting consultant Deborah Porter about one of the least discussed stages of family life: when adult children move back home. Whether it's rising living costs, an impossible housing market, career uncertainty or simply needing a reset, more young adults are returning home than ever before. But while parents often expect life to get easier once children leave, many discover that the mental load simply changes shape. Deborah shares why parents need to stop seeing this as a "failure to launch" and instead view it as an opportunity to help young adults relaunch successfully. She explores why default parenting often continues long after childhood, how rescuing can unintentionally hold children back, and why every birthday should be an opportunity to hand a little more responsibility back to your child. This is a conversation about boundaries, identity, parenting with intention, and learning that sometimes the greatest act of love is stepping back rather than stepping in. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Meet Deborah: www.deborahporter.net Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
Meet Kate Mangino @kate_mangino and Rachel Childs @parents_that_work. Everyone says they want more equal partnerships. So why do so many couples still end up falling into traditional roles? In this thought-provoking conversation, organisational psychologist and behaviour change expert and author of How We Learn, Nick Shackleton-Jones explores the invisible forces that shape how we work and lead. From the surprising psychology behind return-to-office mandates to why workplace cultures continue to disadvantage caregivers, Nick challenges many of the assumptions we've accepted as "normal." Together, we explore why information alone rarely changes behaviour, why emotions drive lasting change far more than logic, and what organisations and families can learn from human-centred design. We also dive into the future of AI, the hidden biases built into technology, why younger generations are rejecting outdated definitions of success, and how leadership culture continues to influence equality at home. Follow Nick’s TikTok musings @shackletonjones or find out more about his work shackleton-consulting.com/ This episode is proudly sponsored by Midstream: A Life Remade in 50 Swims by Kate Washington
When Paige Connell became a mum, she didn't expect her marriage to change overnight. She'd been with her husband for 16 years. They had an equitable relationship. They supported each other's careers. Yet within a few years (accelerated by COVID, foster care, adoption, four young children and a complete lack of childcare support) she found herself overwhelmed, burnt out and quietly wondering: "How did this happen?" In this powerful conversation, Paige shares with Kate and Rachel the moment she realised her resentment wasn't about an overflowing dishwasher, it was about carrying an invisible workload that neither she nor her husband had the language to describe. Together, Rachel, Kate and Paige explore why so many good dads are still missing part of the picture, why women often struggle to articulate what they're experiencing, how social media has changed the conversation around the mental load, and why simply "helping more" isn't the answer. They also discuss raising boys differently, the dangerously low standards we celebrate fathers for, why Mother's Day and Father's Day cards still reinforce outdated stereotypes, and why genuine change will only happen when we stop comparing dads to other dads—and start comparing partners to each other. This episode is about giving couples the words to have better conversations, build stronger partnerships and create a fairer future for the next generation. This week Rachel and Kate are joined by Paige Connell, aka “shesapaigeturner” on TikTok and Instagram. Paige is a working mother of four who shares relatable content on TikTok and Instagram, highlighting the everyday experiences of women balancing motherhood, careers, and relationships. Known for her candid insights on the mental load of motherhood and the challenges of creating equity at home and work, Paige’s content resonates with millions. She also advocates for affordable childcare, paid leave, and reproductive rights, sparking important conversations about what families need to thrive. Her impactful voice and relatable storytelling have led to features in Scary Mommy, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and more. You can find Paige in all the social places: https://www.instagram.com/sheisapaigeturner/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sheisapaigeturner https://www.facebook.com/sheisapaigeturner/reels/ https://substack.com/@sheisapaigeturner Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
We often talk about the mental load, emotional labour, and the systems that keep families stuck in unequal patterns. But what happens after awareness? In this Equal-ish Edit, Kate and Rachel reflect on their recent conversations with Laura Danger (Ep 41), Steve Cardwell (Ep 42) and Natalie Costa (Ep 43), exploring the gap between knowing and doing. Why do couples who value equality still end up in unequal dynamics? Why is awareness only the starting point? And what skills are we missing at home that organisations spend millions teaching at work? The conversation dives into the role of trust, communication, emotional intelligence, leadership skills and habit formation in creating stronger partnerships. They also explore why letting go feels so risky, why vulnerability is essential for growth, and whether we need to rethink how we prepare people for relationships, parenting and family life. Plus, they share their thoughts on the new film Breadwinner and ask whether popular culture is still stuck telling outdated stories about fathers, mothers and family life. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
What if the most important parenting skill isn't discipline, communication, or even patience, but emotional fitness? In this episode, Kate and Rachel sit down with parenting coach and emotional fitness expert Natalie Costa to explore how our relationship with emotions shapes everything from our parenting to our partnerships. Natalie explains why so many adults struggle to navigate difficult emotions, how emotional patterns are passed down through generations, and why resilience isn't about avoiding feelings, it's about learning to move forward with them. We dive into the invisible emotional labour that often falls to mothers, why many fathers have never been taught the emotional skills modern parenting requires, and practical ways couples can create a more emotionally connected family culture together. You'll also hear why repair matters more than perfection, how to help children develop emotional security, and the powerful reminder that every child needs to hear: "You are easy to love." Whether you're raising toddlers, teens, or simply trying to break old patterns in your own family, this conversation offers practical tools and reassuring wisdom for becoming the steady parent your children need. What emotional fitness actually means Why happiness shouldn't be the ultimate parenting goal The connection between emotional awareness and resilience How emotional patterns are inherited across generations The invisible emotional labour carried by many mothers Helping fathers build emotional confidence and connection Why repair is more important than getting it right How to raise emotionally secure children without striving for perfection Meet Natalie Costa: https://nataliecosta.co.uk Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
For today's fathers, the expectations have changed. Men are no longer expected to simply provide financially. They are expected to be present, emotionally engaged, active parents while still succeeding at work and somehow finding time for themselves too. But what happens when all of those demands collide? In this thought-provoking conversation, Rachel and Kate sit down with Deliberate Dad founder Steve Cardwell to explore what it means to be an ambitious father in a world where the rules of parenting are changing faster than the systems around us. Steve shares his philosophy of being a "deliberate dad"—someone who consciously chooses how to spend their time, energy and attention rather than living on autopilot. Together they unpack guilt, mental load, workplace expectations, partnership dynamics, self-care, and the pressure to excel in every area of life. The conversation explores why so many fathers feel pulled between work and home, why agency matters more than perfection, and how couples can define their own version of equality rather than chasing impossible standards. Along the way, Rachel, Kate and Steve wrestle with some of the biggest questions facing modern parents: Can you really have it all? What sacrifices are unavoidable? How do we model healthy fatherhood for the next generation? And what happens when being a "good parent" looks very different from the image social media keeps selling us? A nuanced conversation about ambition, agency, equality, and the realities of parenting in today's world. Meet Steve Cardwell: https://deliberate.dad/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevedeliberatedad/ https://www.instagram.com/deliberatedad_ Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
We are all familiar with the jokes. The exhausted mum carrying everything.The lovable but clueless dad.The wife who nags.The husband who "helps." But what if the jokes aren't harmless? This week Rachel and Kate are joined by Laura Danger, author of No More Mediocre , to explore the hidden relationship dynamics that have been normalised for generations. Laura shares how a flood of "couples comedy" videos during the pandemic sparked her now-famous work on the mental load, weaponized incompetence, and what she calls the "nag paradox", the exhausting cycle where one partner carries the responsibility, then gets blamed for managing it. Together we unpack: Why so many unequal relationships feel "normal" The hidden emotional cost of being indispensable Why progressive couples often struggle behind closed doors How social media is changing the conversation around the mental load The fear that comes with demanding more from your relationship Why changing your relationship means accepting that things will be different This isn't a conversation about blaming men or women. It's a conversation about questioning the stories we've inherited, challenging what we've accepted as inevitable, and asking whether "good enough" is really good enough. Because maybe the goal isn't perfection. Maybe it's refusing to settle for mediocre. Find out more about Laura at www.lauradanger.com, and on Instagram @thatdarnchat Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
In this Equal-ish Edit, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino reflect on the last three powerful conversations with: Professor Leah Ruppanner (ep 36 & 37) on redefining the mental load, Dr. Taveeshi Gupta (ep 38) on the global state of fatherhood, and Danny Mercer (ep 39) on life as an at-home dad. Together, they unpack one huge question: if men increasingly say they want to care more, why are so many families still stuck in unequal systems? This episode explores: Why caregiving is still culturally coded as “women’s work” How workplaces continue to shape parenting roles The mental load beyond motherhood and domestic labour The invisible pressure many fathers carry as providers Why modern parenting feels so isolating and overwhelming The role community, vulnerability and systems change play in creating more equal families It’s an honest, emotional and deeply nuanced conversation about the tension many families live inside every day: wanting equality, while operating inside systems that make it incredibly hard to achieve. And in one particularly moving moment, Kate reflects on the simple but powerful truth many parents need most: not solutions, just someone willing to listen. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
Danny Mercer has spent 16 years as the primary caregiver for his four children, and what started as a practical family decision became a complete redefinition of identity, fatherhood, care and partnership. In this deeply honest conversation, Danny shares what it means to be the default parent as a father: the exhaustion, the invisible labour, the mental load, the resentment, the joy, and the relentless nature of caregiving. He talks openly about losing the identity that came with a paycheck, navigating judgement from society, and why community became essential to survival. As Vice President of the National At-Home Dad Network, Danny also reflects on the growing movement of fathers stepping more fully into caregiving roles, and why many men still struggle to ask for help, build support systems, or believe they are “allowed” to parent this way at all. This episode explores: how gender shapes caregiving expectations why the mental load burns out anyone carrying it the hidden emotional realities of being an at-home dad why appreciation, communication and self-care matter more than rigid equality Explore the National at Home Dads Network: athomedad.org dadsgottatalk.org Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
What if the biggest lie we’ve been told about caregiving is that people don’t want to do it? In this powerful conversation, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino sit down with Dr. Taveeshi Gupta, Senior Director of Research, Evaluation, and Learning from Equimundo to unpack the newly released State of the World’s Fathers 2026 report (a landmark global study spanning 16 countries and 8,000 parents). The findings are both devastating and hopeful. Parents overwhelmingly say caregiving brings joy, purpose and connection. Fathers want meaningful relationships with their children. Mothers and fathers alike say men are doing more care work than previous generations ever did. But the systems surrounding families (workplaces, economies, public policy, gender norms, childcare structures and cultural expectations) are failing caregivers at every turn. In this week’s conversation we explore: Why care should be treated as a basic human good, like food or shelter The dangerous rise of hyper-traditional gender narratives among younger men Why couples who hold more traditional gender beliefs actually report more conflict Why the manosphere is thriving in an era of economic insecurity The hidden “fatherhood flexibility stigma” in workplaces The tension between fathers wanting to care and not always defining care the same way women do Why caregiving conversations cannot be separated from capitalism, policy and structural inequality And why Taveeshi believes we are on the brink of a global “care revolution” This is a conversation about the systems we’ve built around care, and whether humanity can survive without rebuilding them. Read the report here: State of the World’s Fathers 2026 Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
Last week, we redefined the mental load. This week, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino ask the harder question: What do you actually do about it? In Part 2 of our conversation with Professor Leah Ruppanner, we move from awareness to action. Because once you realise you’re not just carrying one mental load (but eight) it can feel even heavier. So how do you: stop feeling responsible for everything? challenge the “shoulds” shaping your decisions? share the load in a way that actually works? Leah introduces a powerful reframe: The goal isn’t doing more. The goal is being intentional about what you carry, and what you don’t. From dropping unnecessary standards to recognising how social norms quietly increase your load, this episode is about reclaiming your time, energy, and headspace. You don’t need to carry it all. In fact, you were never meant to. Click here to find out more about Professor Leah Ruppaner Measure your mental load - Lighten Lab Buy Drained now Listen to Leah on Miss Perceived Podcast Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs .
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Observed September 21, 2026. Cached outside the daily freshness window; the positions keep the date they were taken on.
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