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Published by Arthur Brooks
Hi Friends, I’m Arthur Brooks, a social scientist, Vanderbilt professor, and columnist at The Free Press. I write, speak, and teach about the science of human happiness, blending neuroscience, behavioral science, philosophy, and religion for insights on how to live better and be happier. Each week on Office Hours, you’ll get a glimpse into the cutting edge research on happiness, and explore how you can use it to improve your life—and share what you learn with those you love. Join me in the movement to build a happier world–starting with you.
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Dante had a particularly gruesome punishment for the envious: their eyes were wired shut. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why envy is such a powerful happiness killer—and how to stop feeding it in your own life. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 7:15 Dante’s Divine Comedy 11:56 Definition of envy and its purpose 18:46 Benign and malicious envy 24:13 The effects on the brain when you’re feeling envy 28:30 What people envy 33:25 5 ways to be less envious and much happier 45:06 Q&A: Four classic temperaments 46:34 Q&A: Developing your PhD research question 48:40 Q&A: Romantic love: addiction or happiness? — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • Dante’s Purgatorio, Canto 13: http://dantelab.dartmouth.edu/reader?reader%5Bcantica%5D=2&reader%5Bcanto%5D=13 • Josef Epstein. Envy : https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VQVKUPC?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback •Envy: An Adversarial Review and Comparison of Two Competing Views: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1754073919873131 •The Role of Subjective and Objective Social Status in the Generation of Envy: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.513495/full •When your gain is my pain and your pain is my gain: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19213918/ •Is envy harmful to a society's psychological health and wellbeing?: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29316510/ •Envy: Functional specificity and sex-differentiated design features: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-11291-001 •What to Do When Social Media Inspires Envy: https://daily.jstor.org/what-to-do-when-social-media-inspires-envy/ •Mitigating malicious envy: Why successful individuals should reveal their failures: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-11196-001 •How gratitude inhibits envy: From the perspective of positive psychology: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33300284/ •Bragging and humblebragging in online reviews: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160738319302063?casa_token=2WdCSNbKzdQAAAAA:2PlvLLvja-2c9_454Rnb8h9GB55Kt0Rg3A1pY7XpBxksabWaNZBsbdjbnay4DhKlrJXhk-aEow • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
If you’re an introvert, you might not like what the research has to say: Extroverts tend to be happier. But before you start striking up conversations with strangers in the elevator, there’s more to the story. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore how your personality might shape your happiness, what introverts and extroverts can learn from each other, and why understanding your natural tendencies can help you cultivate habits towards a more connected and, therefore, happier life. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (09:00) Personality traits and genetics (10:47) Jung’s work on personality (12:54) The Big Five personality traits (OCEAN) (20:55) Eysenck’s theories on introversion and extroversion (23:26) Why extroverts tend to have a happiness advantage (32:02) What introverts can learn from extroverts (38:44) What extroverts can learn from introverts (43:04) Happiness homework for introverts and extroverts (45:01) Q&A: Budgeting, vacations, and happiness (47:02) Q&A: Dealing with romantic failure — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The development of markers for the Big-Five factor structure: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1992-25730-001 • Carl Jung: https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/carl-gustav-jung/ • Extraversion and happiness: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1991-12567-001 • Intelligence assessment: a theoretical and experimental approach: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/5341403 • Happiness, introversion-extraversion and happy introverts: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232553189_Happiness_introversion-extraversion_and_happy_introverts • Hans Eysenck's interface between the brain and personality: Modern evidence on the cognitive neuroscience of personality: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886916302628 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Why do so many people drift from faith in early adulthood, only to feel drawn back to it later in life? In this episode of Office Hours , I explore the Hindu concept of Ashramas and the parallels with what modern science tells us about how our priorities change with age. As we get older, the worldly rewards we once chased can start to feel less satisfying. We begin asking deeper questions about wisdom, meaning, and transcendence. That’s what happens when you enter Vanaprastha —the stage of life when we turn our attention inward. I also share five practical steps for beginning (or rebeginning) your own spiritual journey. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (07:10) Lessons from Hinduism (16:50) Ashramas: The four stages of life Brahmacharya Grihastha Vanaprastha Sannyasa (30:05) The link between spirituality and midlife (35:30) #1: Loosen your commitments to not believing (38:47) #2. Spirituality as an entrepreneurial endeavor (40:09) #3: Walk towards what you seek (42:27) #4. Get a buddy (44:14) #5. Find a teacher (46:03) Q&A: The evolutionary purpose of dark triads (48:35) Q&A: Having a two-way relationship with god — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Autobiography of a Yogi: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1785991663 • From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life: https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X • Why do levels of religious observance vary by age and country: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2018/06/13/why-do-levels-of-religious-observance-vary-by-age-and-country • Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060628405 • More Americans say they’re spiritual, but not religious: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/09/06/more-americans-now-say-theyre-spiritual-but-not-religious/ • The sociopaths among us: How to spot (and avoid) a Dark Triad: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-sociopaths-among-us-how-to-spot-and-avoid-a-dark-triad • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Being a parent is one of the most meaningful things you can do with your life, and one of the easiest things to worry about getting wrong. Most of us ultimately want the same things for our children: for them to grow up to be good people and have a good life. But how much influence do parents actually have over those outcomes? In this episode of Office Hours , I explore what the research can teach us about raising happy, well-adjusted kids, including how much of our children’s personalities are inherited, where we as parents really can make a difference, and why what we model often matters more than what we say. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:04) What most parents want for their kids (09:29) What the research has revealed about nature vs. nurture (17:00) How parenting impacts personality (29:12) Parenting principle #1: Even a hot mess can be a great parent (32:52) Parenting principle #2: Be warm and loving (34:29) Parenting principle #3: Be an actor (38:42) Q&A: Overcoming bad habits learned from your parents (40:50) Q&A: How to support a child with a toxic partner (42:49) Q&A: Teaching children the discipline of happiness — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Parenting in America Today: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today • OCEAN: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1635039/ • Heritability of the big five personality dimensions and their facets: a twin study: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8776880 • Longitudinal associations between parenting and child Big Five personality traits: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2022-24205-001 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Most of us prefer spending time with people who are like us. They think like us, share our values, and make us feel comfortable. But while similarity may be easy, it isn't always what helps us grow. In this episode of Office Hours , I explain why some of the greatest benefits in life come from building relationships with people who think, believe, and live differently from us. I explore the science behind why diversity of thought can make us wiser and more successful, and share three practical ways to bring more variety of opinions and values into your life. And if you want to get better at disagreeing better, check out one of my earlier episodes on loving your “enemies.” — Brought to you by: • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur • Magic Mind —Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (06:48) Bonding vs. bridging social capital (14:04) Why we prefer people who are like us (20:17) Why diversity makes us happier (21:44) Demographic diversity vs. diversity of ideas (29:20) How disagreement can improve your thinking (32:36) Step 1: Talk to strangers (36:07) Step 2: Become a social scientist (38:40) Step 3: Celebrate heresy (43:48) Q&A: How video games affect happiness (44:56) Q&A: What happens when positivity goes too far (46:26) Q&A: How to avoid being ruled by pleasure — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com • World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development, 21 May: https://www.un.org/en/observances/cultural-diversity-day • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
In this special one-year anniversary episode of Office Hours, I'm joined by six young adults to discuss the modern crisis of meaning and why so many people feel disconnected despite having more ways to connect than ever. Together, we explore why friendship and romantic love seem harder to find and maintain, what gets in the way of deep connection, and what young adults are actually looking for in relationships, community, and life. Along the way, the participants share their experiences navigating friendship, dating, marriage, graduate school, and major life transitions. If there's one hope I have for this episode—and for this podcast—it's that it helps us all build lives that are richer in meaning, connection, and love. Whether you've been with us all year or this is your first episode, thank you for listening. I'm grateful you're joining me in the mission to lift people up and bring us together in bonds of happiness and love. — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (04:10) Introducing the young participants (06:48) The three macronutrients of happiness, and the crisis of loss of meaning (09:59) The three parts of meaning (14:43) The decline in friendship and romantic love (17:30) The challenges of making friends in adulthood (24:28) Friendship after marriage (27:44) Making friends in graduate school (33:20) Best friends (38:33) Going deeper in a friendship (44:05) The seven lessons of friendship (46:52) Why falling in love seems harder today (58:21) Dating off the apps (1:02:00) The limitations of dating apps (1:06:06) What the participants want out of a relationship (1:12:05) Why deep friendship is the key and what's getting in the way (1:15:02) The rules for successful love and dating — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
We usually think generosity means helping other people. But what if accepting help is generous, too? In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why letting others help us can be a gift. We’ll look at the science of why helping makes people happier, why others enjoy doing us favors more than we expect, the four rules for asking well, and how receiving with grace creates a virtuous cycle of generosity. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks . • Helix Sleep —A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks for 20% off sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses for their Fourth of July Sale—Extended! — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (07:02) The benefits of giving to others (14:10) Why asking for help is an act of generosity (19:25) Rule #1: How much is too much (21:19) Rule #2: Asking is not demanding (23:27) Rule #3: Don’t wreck it (26:46) Rule #4: Being generous requires nothing (30:38) Q&A: Resources for aporia (33:06) Q&A: Marrying outside your faith — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • It’s good to do good and receive good: The impact of a ‘pay it forward’ style kindness intervention on giver and receiver well-being: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-21350-001 • Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism : https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465008216 • Happy People Become Happier Through Kindness: A Counting Kindnesses Intervention: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1820947/ • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
It's easy to assume that we'd be happier if we lived somewhere with more sunshine. But how much does sunlight actually matter? In this episode of Office Hours , I examine what the research says about the relationship between sunlight and happiness, why some people benefit more than others, and how much sunlight you really need. I also share three practical ways to build healthier light habits. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks • Helix Sleep —A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks for 20% off sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses for their Fourth of July Sale—Extended! — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (06:40) What the research shows about the effects of sunlight (07:57) What Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is (11:40) The small percentage of people who react negatively to sunlight (13:17) How sunlight affects mood and the role of vitamin D (16:48) How much sunlight you need to get the benefits (19:34) Why some people overdo it with sunlight (27:25) Make sunshine a daily routine (32:35) Get your morning light even without the sun (34:23) When to avoid the light (35:25) Why you probably don’t need to move to be by the sun (39:38) Q&A: Finding meaning after a life change (41:34) Q&A: Relating to friends with different tolerance for conflict — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com • Outdoor daylight exposure and longer sleep promote wellbeing under COVID‐19 mandated restrictions: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8646753 • What is seasonal affective disorder?: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/seasonal-affective-disorder • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Most people don't start with huge lies. They start with little white lies meant to avoid conflict, spare someone's feelings, or make life a little easier. But what if those small compromises are quietly making us less happy? In this episode of Office Hours , I make the case that honesty is one of the deepest expressions of love. I explore why we're afraid to say what we really think, why even well-intentioned lies can undermine trust and happiness, and how practicing radical honesty—with compassion—can strengthen our relationships and help us live more authentically. I also share three practical ways to become more honest without becoming hurtful. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:00) Why we don’t share what we think (10:06) Honesty as an act of love (12:01) Transcendentalism and radical honesty (18:11) The types of lies and how often we lie (24:27) Why lying undermines happiness (33:25) Seek and accept honesty from others (36:03) Offer truth to heal, not harm (40:11) Make the truth appealing (42:48) Q&A: Making the most of summer (44:56) Q&A: The hardest part of my protocols (46:34) Q&A: The pros and cons of napping — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com • Poll: 62% of Americans Say They Have Political Views They’re Afraid to Share: https://www.cato.org/survey-reports/poll-62-americans-say-they-have-political-views-theyre-afraid-share • The “Spiral of Silence” Revisited: A Meta-Analysis on the Relationship Between Perceptions of Opinion Support and Political Opinion Expression: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/009365021774542 • Self-Reliance: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0500024472 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
There's a reason music has mattered to people for thousands of years. Across cultures and generations, we’ve treated it as more than entertainment—as a kind of language that can express what words can’t and help us connect with the meaning and mystery on the right side of our brain. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why that idea has endured and what modern science has to say about it. I also share two simple ways to amplify music’s positive effects, plus four practical strategies for building a music practice that fits your goals—so you can get more out of the music you already love. And if you want to dive deeper into the music I love and listen to, go to: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/playlist — Brought to you by: • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur • Magic Mind —Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:40) Schopenhauer’s theory (09:38) Why I believe music reveals deeper truths (13:20) The science of music and the brain (19:41) The emotional impact of music (23:32) Which type of music is linked with happiness (25:28) The worst kind of music for happiness (26:54) The benefits of listening to sad music (29:35) Two ways to amplify music’s positive effects (30:50) #1: Decide what you want from your music (31:55) #2: Create a catalog of songs (33:15) #3: Learn and grow (36:04) #4: Play music yourself (39:22) Q&A: Learning about classical music (40:24) Q&A: Listening to music while working out (42:06) Q&A: Friendship on the autism spectrum — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com • Schopenhauer on music as the embodiment of Will: https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/schopenhauer-philosophy-and-the-arts/schopenhauer-on-music-as-the-embodiment-of-will/19892B6A1001BACD7093CFBA2D59BF38 • Three Philosophies of Life: Ecclesiastes, Job, and Song of Songs, Peter Kreeft: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0898702623 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Thirty-five years ago, I somehow convinced an extraordinary woman to marry me. Our relationship began like any other—attraction, a leap of faith, and eventually the decision to embark on the unknown journey ahead of us together. In this episode of Office Hours , my wife, Ester Munt-Brooks, and I reflect on what we’ve learned over 35 years of choosing each other—from the risks we took early on, to why love is much more than a feeling. Drawing on the wisdom of Thomas Aquinas, we explore what it truly means to love—and how that understanding can transform every relationship. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Ester Munt-Brooks: • Website: https://www.fevaloryalegria.org/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/estermunt • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FAITHWITHJOYTALKS/ Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (08:55) Arthur and Ester’s love story (14:02) The risks they took to give it a shot (19:30) How Ester came to embrace marriage (24:36) The next stage: Marriage and children (28:05) St. Thomas Aquinas’s definition of love (45:20) What’s coming up in future episodes on love (46:04) The three big love lessons (49:26) Q&A: Personalizing a morning routine for your needs (55:06) Q&A: How to think about faith while dating (57:54) Q&A: How having children impacts happiness (1:02:30) Q&A: How to meet people in person — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Do you find yourself chasing success, working long hours, doing far more than is required, and thinking about work all the time? Congratulations—you might be a workaholic. (There’s no trophy for this, by the way. I checked.) In this episode of Office Hours , I dig into what workaholism is, where it comes from, and why it can be so damaging to your happiness and relationships. We discuss the connection between work addiction and the belief that love has to be earned (which turns out to be a surprisingly ineffective strategy). There’s good news: I also share three practical steps you can take to break the cycle, become more present for your loved ones, and find the deeper sources of happiness, meaning, and connection that no promotion will ever give you. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks • Magic Mind —Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically-backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:58) Why workaholism is so destructive (09:31) Work culture in Spain vs. the U.S. (11:11) The three classic signs of workaholism (12:26) Why people become workaholics (13:42) Four more signs of work addiction (15:01) Intrinsic rewards vs. extrinsic rewards (24:59) A thought experiment about intrinsic and extrinsic rewards (27:52) Where workaholism comes from (33:04) How to break your work addiction—Step 1: Face the truth (34:39) Step 2: Give what you most want to receive (36:02) Step 3: Make plans to change (38:12) Summary of the three steps (39:20) Q&A: The grief of divorce vs. death (40:35) Q&A: Coping with betrayal — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : http://themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Workaholism: definition, measurement, and preliminary results: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16370875 • Workload, Workaholism, and Job Performance: Uncovering Their Complex Relationship: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7557789 • PANAS quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas • 3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
If you feel emotionally exhausted, cynical about your work, or like you’re no longer enjoying parts of the job you used to, you may be experiencing burnout. In this episode of Office Hours , I explain what burnout is, how psychologists define it, and what the research shows about its effects on the brain and body. We discuss the workplace conditions most likely to cause burnout, why some occupations experience it more than others, and the self-reinforcing cycle that makes even meaningful work feel draining. I also share five things employers can do to protect their employees from burnout and three practical ways individuals can create healthier boundaries between work and life so that each supports, rather than undermines, the other. — Brought to you by: • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur . • Helix Sleep —A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks for 20% off sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses for their Fourth of July Sale. — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (04:45) The origins of burnout (06:44) Herbert Freudenberger’s definition of burnout (07:25) What the research shows about burnout today (10:59) The three signs of burnout and Arthur’s experience (16:40) The physiology of burnout (20:14) The 7 causes of burnout (30:29) The occupations with the most burnout (35:10) Five things employers can do to safeguard against burnout (38:10) #1 way to fight burnout: Create space (40:54) #2 way to fight burnout: Work only in defined hours (42:23) #3 way to fight burnout: Work on your spiritual/philosophical life (44:15) Why remote work is not the answer to burnout (45:35) Recap: 3 ways to fight burnout (47:58) Q&A: Coping with being a full-time caregiver (50:01) Q&A: Adapting protocols to your life — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Brothers Karamazov: https://www.amazon.com/Brothers-Karamazov-Fyodor-Dostoevsky/dp/0374528373 • Poor mental health costs UK employers £51 billion a year for employees: https://www.deloitte.com/uk/en/about/press-room/poor-mental-health-costs-uk-employers-51-billion-a-year-for-employees.html • Beyond Burnout: https://hbsp.harvard.edu/product/H0669W-PDF-ENG • Burnout Test: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/burnout-at-work • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Many people come home from vacation feeling disappointed. Not because the trip was bad, but because they expected it to do more than any vacation possibly can. In my previous episode on leisure , I discussed its importance to happiness and well-being. A vacation, done well, is really an opportunity to practice leisure more intentionally—whether that means a chance to reconnect with the people you love, lose yourself in nature or culture or read a book you've been meaning to for three years. In this episode of Office Hours , I share nine research-backed protocols that can help you return from time away feeling happier, more fulfilled, and genuinely restored. We discuss why anticipation is one of the most enjoyable parts of any trip, why shorter vacations may be better than longer ones, and how taking too many photos or posting on social media can pull you out of the very experience you're trying to enjoy. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (06:08) America's culture of skipping vacations (10:57) Vacation rule #1: Discern your motive (15:24) Vacation rule #2: Savor the anticipation (21:13) Vacation rule #3: Manage your expectations (23:32) Vacation rule #4: Break your trip into vacation-ettes (25:45) Vacation rule #5: Take fewer pictures (28:48) Vacation rule #6: Don’t post (30:43) Vacation rule #7: Leave work at home (32:37) Vacation rule #8: Come home early (34:00) Vacation rule #9: Brace yourself when you return (35:50) Recap of the 9 vacation rules (38:02) Q&A: Is music a distraction? (39:57) Q&A: Using screens during meals and before sleep — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com • The Science Behind Being Good at Leisure: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/the-science-behind-being-good-at-leisure • 41% of American Workers Let Paid Vacation Days Go to Waste: https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/08/41-percent-of-american-workers-let-their-paid-vacation-go-to-waste/378950 • The Contribution of Vacations to Quality of Life: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/256987230_The_Contribution_of_Vacations_to_Quality_of_Life • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Finding the right person is hard. Being attracted to the wrong one is just as common. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why some people find themselves stuck in the same dating patterns over and over again, pursuing partners who are unavailable, manipulative, emotionally destructive, or struggling with addiction. I explain why attraction can override good judgment, why certain personality types are especially alluring, and how to learn from past mistakes and create healthier patterns in love. This episode focuses on choosing the right person in the first place. If you haven't yet listened to my episode, 3 Rules to Fall in Love and Stay in Love , I recommend it as a companion to this conversation. Together, they offer a roadmap for both finding love and building a lasting relationship. — Brought to you by: • LMNT —A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:19) Why dating feels so difficult (06:29) Dating Groundhog Day (10:12) Attraction to unavailable people (15:25) Substance abuse (18:29) The Dark Triad (20:56) How the Dark Triad reels you in (25:52) Why we ignore red flags (27:19) Dating strategy #1: Stop relying on others' judgment (28:48) Dating strategy #2: Address your emophilia (30:16) Dating strategy #3: Expand your time horizon (32:10) Dating strategy #4: Don’t focus on looks and status (33:21) Dating strategy #5: Look in the right place (35:15) Dating strategy #6: Stop looking for your ex (37:29) Dating strategy #7: Stop romanticizing doomed love (39:00) Q&A: How to reconcile being on your phone to learn more (40:15) Q&A: The value of fun leisure — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Nearly Half of U.S. Adults Say Dating Has Gotten Harder for Most People in the Last 10 Years: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years • Groundhog Day : https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107048 • Mate Choice Copying in Humans: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26181063/ • The ability to judge the romantic interest of others: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19076319 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Family estrangement is strangely common—affecting one-third of American adults today. While cutting ties can bring temporary relief, research suggests that, over time, it often resembles grief. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why family, one of the four pillars of happiness, is central to meaning, what is driving the rise in estrangement, and why conflicts over values and identity have become so difficult to repair. Most importantly, I discuss what it actually takes to mend broken relationships: the difference between healthy boundaries and permanent rupture, and the two qualities that help families overcome deep disagreement and stay connected. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (05:09) Why family estrangement feels so painful (15:57) How common is family estrangement (19:30) Why family estrangement happens (27:07) The rise of the “no-contact” movement (31:34) What the data shows about going no-contact (35:07) The two ingredients every family needs (36:20) What tolerance really means (37:43) Why forgiveness is essential in families (39:20) The hidden incentives behind encouraging family division (41:32) Q&A: Finding reciprocity in friendships (43:38) Q&A: Attachment styles and finding love (46:03) Q&A: Meeting a future spouse in person — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Family Estrangement Is a Tragedy: https://www.thefp.com/p/arthur-brooks-family-estrangement-is-a-tragedy • What Makes Life Meaningful? Views From 17 Advanced Economies: https://www.pewresearch.org/global/2021/11/18/what-makes-life-meaningful-views-from-17-advanced-economies/ • Matthew 5:44: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205%3A44 • Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them: https://www.amazon.com/Fault-Lines-Fractured-Families-Mend/dp/0525539034 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
We obsess over diets, fasting, and weight-loss drugs in the name of health. But we rarely ask a more important question: what kind of eating actually makes us happier? In this episode of Office Hours , I explore what the science say about the relationship between food and well-being. Eating gives us pleasure, but meals bring deeper enjoyment when they also combine people and memories. I explore what that means in practice along with seven other practical rules for “happy eating.” In the end, happiness at the table depends less on the food than the company. As my Spanish wife likes to say: the point of eating is not the food—it’s the love. — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (09:55) Why eating is pleasurable—and why pleasure alone does not create happiness (13:56) Two ways to turn pleasure into enjoyment (17:12) How both positive and negative emotions influence eating (18:43) Why eating moderately often is linked to greater happiness (22:14) Dietary patterns associated with greater happiness (25:19) What the research shows about alcohol and well-being (28:16) Junk food’s impact on mood and well-being (30:08) The pros and cons of a vegetarian diet (32:19) Why crash diets are bad for your well-being and happiness (35:59) Time-restricted eating and GLP-1 drugs (37:13) #1: Balance across a variety of foods (37:46) #2: Emphasize proteins and fats (37:58) #3: Avoid junk food and refined sweets (38:11) #4: Moderate alcohol consumption (38:24) #5: No recreational drinking (38:34) #6: Avoid obesity without starving yourself (38:49) #7: Organized, regular, formal meal times (39:00) #8: Meals in the company of others (40:19) Q&A: The neuroscience behind how books affect our brains (42:53) Q&A: Leisure vs. Sabbath — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • The pleasure of food: underlying brain mechanisms of eating and other pleasures: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13411-014-0029-2 • Health, Happiness and Eating Together: What Can a Large Thai Cohort Study Tell Us?: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4802060 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
We spend much of our lives building our careers. We chase success, recognition, and expansive networks—yet despite all of it, many of us still experience a quiet, persistent loneliness. In this episode of Office Hours , I turn to Aristotle and his work, the Nicomachean Ethics , to ask an age-old question: what makes a good friend? I’ll explore Aristotle’s three types of friendship, and suggest something that sounds counterintuitive: the best of friends are perfectly useless. I also share four practical ways to deepen the friendships you already have, and cultivate more of these useless relationships that create real meaning, deeper happiness, and a life well lived. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (06:32) Why close friendships are essential to happiness (11:42) What a healthy friendship ecosystem looks like (14:54) Aristotle’s three types of friendship (23:57) Real friends vs. deal friends (31:17) Friendship step #1: Give yourself a friendship checkup (32:39) Friendship step #2: Identify the people who truly know you (35:06) Friendship step #3: Go deep or go home (38:24) Friendship step #4: Make more friends that you don’t need (41:32) Q&A: Adjusting to home after a year abroad (44:12) Q&A: Building better habits — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Why You Should Want to Be Alone: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/hermit-solitude-benefits-happiness/678955 • I Matter to My Friend, Therefore I am Happy: Friendship, Mattering, and Happiness: https://experts.nau.edu/en/publications/i-matter-to-my-friend-therefore-i-am-happy-friendship-mattering-a • Friendship and personality as predictors of happiness: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-006-9012-7 •The average American has three best friends: https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/friends-adults-american-how-to-friendship-difficulty-a8906861.html • Social Support, Social Strain, Loneliness, and Well-Being Among Older Adults: An Analysis of the Health and Retirement Study: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-05698-001 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Sometimes, the most insidious thing someone can tell you to make you feel better is the age-old phrase, “but you’re perfect!” While research suggests this may ease emotional pain temporarily, it might actually be holding you back from growth and, consequently, satisfaction. In this episode of Office Hours , I explore why we avoid uncomfortable truths when feeling down, and why the better path towards fulfillment is honest self-acceptance—embracing your imperfections, and taking on the challenge to improve. — Brought to you by: • Noble Mobile —With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • In-person Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (06:50) The psychology of self-enhancement bias (10:39) Who suffers most from self-enhancement bias (15:50) Why we protect others with comforting lies (17:16) What the research shows about self-enhancement bias (22:57) #1: You’re not perfect but you’re normal (25:37) #2: Accept yourself (27:05) #3: Work to improve (30:03) #4: Don’t blame other people (32:05) #5: Reframe imperfections as puzzles (35:48) Q&A: People pleasing and happiness (37:33) Q&A: Finding time for happiness in a busy life (39:24) Q&A: Teaching happiness habits to young children — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness : themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks : https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • I'm OK--You're OK: The Pioneering and Bestselling Self-Help Guide : https://www.amazon.com/Im-OK-Youre-OK-Thomas-Harris/dp/0060724277 • Taking time seriously. A theory of socioemotional selectivity: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10199217 • Comparative perceptions of driver ability--a confirmation and expansion: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3730094 • The Illusion of Moral Superiority: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5641986 • Age and the better‐than‐average effect: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-10557-008 • The dorsal anterior cingulate cortex is selective for pain: Results from large-scale reverse inference: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26582792 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
Want to miss (or forget) life’s sweetest moments? Easy: don’t savor anything. My late mother, an artist, knew this was a terrible strategy for happiness. Through her art, she was an expert at savoring—and the first to teach me its benefits. In this episode of Office Hours , I connect her lesson to what we now know from behavioral science: because of our built-in negativity bias, we tend to overlook positive experiences unless we make an effort to notice them. I’ll share three simple ways to do that—so you can experience your life more deeply, remember it more clearly, and find meaning even in the hard moments. Want to go deeper on this—and other ideas from the podcast—and actually put them into practice? If you’re ready to do that work in person, I’ve partnered with MEA, a transformational science-backed retreat center, to bring these principles to life through a series of retreats in Santa Fe. You can find the details at retreats.arthurbrooks.com . — Brought to you by: • David Protein —The most effective portable protein on the planet https://davidprotein.com/arthur — Where to find Arthur Brooks: • Website: https://arthurbrooks.com/ • Newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • X: https://x.com/arthurbrooks • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGuyFRjJQFGCKzfHTBvWM6A • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-c-brooks/ • Email: officehours@arthurbrooks.com — Timestamps: (00:00) Intro (09:52) What savoring really is (10:39) How savoring affects your brain and body (14:54) How savoring shapes your memory (17:16) Negativity bias and why it’s hard to savor (20:18) #1: Savor in all three time zones (24:34) #2: Expand your savoring techniques (27:21) #3: How I do it–what are you looking forward to (29:12) How to savor difficult experiences to support growth (31:19) Q&A: Making space for relationships in a demanding season of work (32:39) Q&A: Finding a religion that resonates (34:08) Q&A: Finding a calling — Referenced: • The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com • Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership • Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter • The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale • The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur • Savoring the past: Positive memories evoke value representations in the striatum: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4254527 • The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation: https://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mindfulness-Introduction-Practice-Meditation/dp/0807012394 • ...References continued at: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours — Production and marketing by https://penname.co/ .
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