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Published by drscl
WARNING: This isn't another parenting podcast Decoded: The First Year - is the podcast for parents feeling overwhelmed by baby milestones, sleep struggles and conflicting advice. Hosted by Dr SCL - a chiropractor, dad and nervous system translator, each episode helps you understand what’s really going on in your baby’s body and brain through DECODING the science of neurodevelopment and nervous system health into practical insights you can actually use without mansplaining, guilt or fear - all from a dad who gets it and a clinician who listens more than he lectures.
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You've had your latch checked. Positioning, attachment, tongue — all assessed, maybe even "fixed." And something is still not right. It's still painful, still shallow, still a fight every single feed. So what's left, if the mechanics have already been ruled out?If you've been told "the latch looks fine" while it very clearly does not feel fine, there's a piece of this conversation that's been missing the whole time… and it's more than tongue tie.
You've probably been told the startle reflex is "just a normal newborn thing" — and technically, that's true. But what happens when it's not settling into background noise, and it's still hijacking every nap, every transfer, every quiet moment, weeks or even months in?You've been told it'll pass. You’ve been told to swaddle. You’ve been told to rock them to sleep. But you're the one living inside the loop of startle, cry, resettle, startle again — and "it's normal" doesn't help you right now, doesn’t explain why it's happening so much, or what to actually do about it.
Someone told you it's "just a preference." Or maybe it's tummy time positioning. Or it's their sleeping position. Or maybe you've been quietly worrying it's something worse, and nobody's given you a straight answerYou've noticed it — your baby always turns their head the same direction. In the cot, on the change table, in the pram. Always that way. Never the other. You've tried gently turning them the other way and they turn straight back, like it's automatic.And to add further fuel to the fire, this preference is starting to impact - 1. feeding (you notice your baby will only feed from one breast and not the other), 2. their general motor development & milestones (it’s impacting their ability to see and ultimately move their little body in a balanced and symmetrical manner which makes it more difficult for primitive reflexes and postures to integrate) and even 3. the skull shape (the flat spot on the back of their head slightly off to one side is known as plagiocephaly).Today I want to decode what's actually driving that pattern — because it's more than a preference. It's not stubbornness. It's not even really about the neck itself.
Here's what I noticed a year ago, and it's the reason this podcast exists.Mums in that first year are handed a checklist. Rolls by four months. Sits by six. Latches "properly." Sleeps through "eventually." And when something doesn't tick the box on schedule, she's sent off to fix the symptom — more tummy time, a different bottle, a stricter routine.Nobody's lying to her. The advice usually isn't wrong. It's just incomplete. It's downstream.An OT can tell you what a milestone should look like. A physio can show you how to help a body get there. But almost nobody is sitting a mum down and explaining why some babies get there easily and others fight it every step of the way — and that why almost always traces back to one system running the whole show underneath everything else.That gap — that's the entire podcast. Fifty-two episodes, one recurring idea: the nervous system isn't one factor among many. It's upstream of all of it.
You've probably heard the phrase."Regulated parents raise regulated children."And if you're anything like the parents I see in clinic — you heard that and felt one of two things. Either guilt. Or confusion. Guilt, because you are exhausted and you know it. Confusion, because nobody actually explains why that's true. They just say it — and leave you with the pressure of it — without giving you the neuroscience underneath.Today, we fix that. Because this is not a conversation about parenting better. This is a conversation about how development actually works — at a nervous system level — and why your state, your child's state, and the space between you matters more than almost anything else in early childhood.
Today, I want to talk about why development often slows down when nervous systems stop feeling safe enough to explore naturally.Modern parents are under enormous pressure. And yes, it is pressure that creates diamonds.Developmentally - parents feel pressure to stimulate more. Do more. Optimise more. Intervene earlier. Achieve milestones faster. Because, as we know - when it comes to development, faster equals better, right? Of course not!And honestly? Many babies and children are feeling that pressure too.But little nervous systems do not develop best under pressure. They develop best under safety.
The first year of parenting can feel like one long stream of information overload mixed with opinions, old wive tales and Google generated confusion. Add in the - Wake windows. Milestones. Sleep schedules. Tummy time. Feeding advice. Developmental checklists. Opinions from strangers. Opinions from family. Opinions from the internet. And finally, as a kick in the guts to the overwhelmed mothers of the world, add the mixed information coming from various health professionals . And somewhere in all that noise… many parents naturally and quietly start wondering: “When it comes to the development of my child, what actually matters?” Because when everything either feels catastrophically important, or blasé aka not important… everything becomes stressful. So today, I want to zoom out. Let’s get away from perfection. Away from pressure. And back toward the foundations that I have not only been talking about for the past 12 months but that truly shape early development.
When I started this podcast I made a big song and dance about NOT wanting this to be a parenting podcast. But there is a pattern I have seen emerge over the last few year which I think warrants a conversation as it has the power to either engage parents as being team mates in their child’s development or be passengers and think like victims. So, lets decode a very particular kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling like something is off… but you can’t prove it.
Today, we're going to decode exactly what is happening in your baby's nervous system when they will only settle for you or if they act as if you are the devil. And I promise you — it is not what most people think.
One of the most emotional experiences in early motherhood… is feeding.Because when feeding feels hard, many mothers quietly start questioning themselves.“Why does my baby only feed on one side?” “Why are they so unsettled?” “Why does feeding feel like a fight?”And the support we offer mother’s with breast feeding sucks. All too often, mothers are told: “Just keep trying.”But feeding is not simply about hunger. It’s coordination. Posture. Regulation. Comfort. Safety.And when we understand feeding through a nervous system lens… so many confusing pieces start making sense.
Overstimulation has become so common… it now looks normal.The constant movement. The emotional volatility. The inability to slow down. The dysregulation after busy days. The exhaustion disguised as hyperactivity.Today, I want to talk about why so many children are not “naughty” or “too much”… They’re neurologically overloaded.
Few things make parents question themselves faster than sleep. Or lack of it.And somewhere along the way, many parents quietly start believing: “If my baby isn’t sleeping well… I must be doing something wrong.” Let’s remove something immediately.Your baby is not “bad at sleep.” That idea doesn’t even make neurological sense. Sleep is not a personality trait. It is a nervous system function.Because babies do not learn sleep through pressure, through routines or through “training”. They learn sleep through safety.And when we understand sleep through a nervous system lens… we stop seeing wakefulness as failure. And start asking much better questions.
One of the hardest parts of parenting… and a moment many parents don’t talk about is trying to stay calm when your child’s behaviour feels big. The meltdowns. The screaming. The constant movement. The emotional explosions that seem to arrive out of nowhere. You’re trying to stay calm… You’re trying harder… yet things feel worse.And eventually, after much self doubt, a quiet thought starts to form: “What am I missing?” “Am I doing something wrong?”Now, this isn’t intended to be a parenting podcast. Rather, like always, this is a podcast of asking questions. Questions like - “what if behaviour at this age is less about discipline and more about communication from an overloaded nervous system?”Because children do not wake up each morning trying to manipulate their parents. They wake up trying to adapt to the world with the nervous system they currently have.And when we understand that… we stop seeing children as difficult. And start seeing them as dysregulated. And that changes everything.
If you’ve listened to this entire reflex series… first of all, good on you. Because chances are, you didn’t come here looking for “perfect parenting.” You came here looking for understanding. You wanted to know: “What actually matters in my baby’s development?” “What should I pay attention to?” “And how do I know if my child is truly okay beneath all the noise online?” And honestly? That question alone already tells me something important about you. You’re paying attention. Not from fear. From care. Because the first year of life can feel incredibly loud. Milestone charts. Comparison. Opinions. Pressure. Everyone asking if your baby is rolling, sitting, crawling, sleeping, feeding, self-settling, standing… As though development is a performance review. But through a nervous system lens, development has never been about speed. It’s about sequence. Organisation. Adaptation. And primitive reflexes sit right in the middle of that story. Not as “good” or “bad.” Not as labels. But as part of the neurological scaffolding that helps a baby build their relationship with gravity, movement, posture, regulation, coordination, and eventually… learning. So in this final episode of the series, I want to zoom out. Away from the individual reflexes. Away from the milestone checklists. And back toward the bigger picture. Because when parents understand the long view of development… comparison softens, pressure decreases, and confidence starts to grow. And honestly? That changes everything.
There’s a question sitting underneath almost every conversation I have with parents. “How do I know if this is something we need to act on… or something my child will simply grow through?” And honestly? That question makes sense. Because parents today are caught between two very loud messages. One says: “Don’t worry about anything.” The other says: “If you don’t fix this immediately, you’re missing a critical window.” So mums end up stuck in the middle… watching every movement, every milestone, every behaviour, trying to work out whether they should relax… or panic. But when we look through a nervous system lens, the answer is usually much more nuanced than that. Not every retained reflex is a problem. Not every delay is dysfunction. And not every child needs intervention simply because they’re developing differently. At the same time… sometimes the nervous system is asking for support. Not because your child is broken. Not because you’ve missed something. But because development works best when the body feels safe, adaptable, and organised. So in this episode, I want to help you understand the difference between variation and vulnerability… between observation and action… and how to recognise when support is helpful — without falling into fear. Because confidence doesn’t come from obsessing over every milestone. It comes from understanding what the nervous system is actually communicating.
If you’ve ever found yourself late at night…Googling your baby’s movements…Wondering if something you’re seeing is “normal”…Or worrying that you might be missing something important…This episode is for you.Because somewhere along the way, conversations about primitive reflexes shifted. From something that should bring clarity…To something that creates pressure.Parents are being told to watch closely…Act quickly…And fix things early —before it becomes a problem. And without even realising it…That message starts to sit in the background like a quiet anxiety:“Am I doing enough?”“Am I catching this early enough?”“Could I be missing something that matters?”But here’s the truth.Primitive reflexes were never meant to feel like a countdown.They were never meant to turn you into a monitor of milestones.They are simply a way of understanding how your child’s nervous system is organising itself — in real time.So today, we’re going to clear the noise.We’re going to slow this right down…And unpack the biggest myths around primitive reflexes —So you can move from confusion…Back to clarity.
You’re doing all the things.The toys.The tummy time.The music.The contrast cards.The play mats.You’re engaging…You’re interacting…You’re trying to give your baby every possible advantage.And still… there’s this quiet thought in the background:“Is it enough?”“Should I be doing more?”“Am I missing something that other mums aren’t?” And here’s where I want to shift something — gently, but very clearly. Because when we look at early development through a nervous system lens…The question is rarely: “Am I doing enough?”It’s far more often:“Is my baby getting the chance to actually process what I’m already giving them?” Because more input…doesn’t automatically mean better development. And in many cases — it does the opposite. Today, we’re going to unpack why less input often leads to better integration…and why some of the most well-intentioned things we do as parentscan quietly interfere with how the nervous system learns to organise itself.Not because you’re doing anything wrong…but because no one’s explained how this actually works.
Hey Mum… Have you ever looked at your baby and thought… “They’re just a bit more sensitive…” “They’re strong-willed…” “They’re just not as easy as other babies…” And if you’re really honest — there’s a tiny part of you wondering… am I missing something here? Because one minute they’re calm… the next, they’re overwhelmed. One day they’re exploring… the next, they’re clinging or unsettled. It feels inconsistent. And no one’s really explaining why. So we default to labels. Temperament. Personality. “That’s just who they are.” But what if I told you… a lot of what you’re seeing right now isn’t personality at all? It’s neurology. I n this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most misunderstood concepts in early development — the difference between trait and state. Because when you understand what’s actually driving your baby’s responses… you stop questioning yourself… and you start seeing your baby with a whole new level of clarity.
There’s a moment that catches almost every parent off guard…Your baby isn’t quite crawling yet — but they’re not quite still either.They’re rocking… shifting… almost like they’re trying to figure something out.And you start wondering:“Should they be crawling by now?”“Are they skipping something?”I want you to know — you’re not missing anything.Because what looks like “not quite there yet”…is often one of the most important neurological bridges in your baby’s entire first year.Today, we’re unpacking exactly what that bridge is —and why it matters more than the milestone itself.
If you’ve ever watched your baby turn their head… and noticed their whole body respond…An arm straightening… the opposite side curling in…And you’ve thought, “Is that just random movement?”I want to gently shift that for you.Because what looks random… is actually incredibly organised.And more than that — it’s meaningful.Last week, we talked about gravity, tone, and how your baby learns to organise their body against the world.This week, we’re layering something new on top of that.Rotation.Coordination.The very beginnings of your baby learning to connect their eyes, their hands, and their body… into one integrated system.
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Observed September 18, 2026. Cached outside the daily freshness window; the positions keep the date they were taken on.
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