Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored
Published by Lisa Sonni
Society & Culture
Health & Fitness
Mental Health
Relationships
This is the podcast your abuser doesn’t want you to hear. Hosted by relationship coach and abuse recovery educator Lisa Sonni, Real Talk pulls back the curtain on toxic and abusive dynamics, romantic relationships, familial, and friendships. This is the raw truth no one else is saying out loud. No sugarcoating. No “just leave” advice. Just real stories, real insight, and real talk—so you can finally feel seen, not silenced.
The Most Effective Way To Lie | Dr. Abbie Maroño | S4E12
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The Most Effective Way To Lie | Dr. Abby Minaro If you’ve ever felt like something was off but couldn’t quite put your finger on the lie, this episode reveals exactly how abusers craft believable deception. Lisa Sonni sits down with behavioral scientist, author, and deception expert Dr. Abby Minaro (Dr. Abby Morono) to unpack the strategic psychology behind lying. They explore how abusers use “grains of truth,” context removal, and emotional framing to manipulate reality, making their lies far more convincing than outright fabrications. Dr. Minaro breaks down the difference between convincing and conveying, the pre-event, event, and post-event patterns that expose deception, and why the halo effect makes harmful people seem trustworthy. The conversation also highlights the role of shame, self-doubt, and radicalization-like tactics in abuse, while emphasizing that the strongest protection isn’t becoming a detective — it’s rebuilding self-trust, self-love, and the confidence to leave when something feels unsafe. A powerful, eye-opening episode for anyone ready to see manipulation clearly and trust themselves again. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
The Science Behind Why He Won’t Change | Dr. Justin Nussbaum | S4E11
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The Science Behind Why He Won’t Change | Dr. Justin Nussbaum If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem incapable of real change no matter how much therapy, pleading, or effort goes in, this episode delivers the science that explains it. Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Justin Nussbaum to break down the genetics and neuroscience behind personality traits, narcissism, and personality disorders. They explore the significant role of heritability (often 50-70%), twin studies, and how genetics and environment interact to shape empathy, emotional regulation, and behavior patterns. Dr. Nussbaum busts common myths about trauma being the sole cause of abusive or narcissistic behavior, explains neurological pathways involved in empathy (or the lack of it), and discusses the realistic limits of change. This conversation empowers survivors with a clearer, science-based understanding of why hoping for transformation in certain personalities can keep them stuck — and why recognizing these biological realities is key to making safer, healthier decisions. A must-listen for anyone seeking clarity, validation, and freedom from false hope in toxic relationships. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Breaking the Cycle: Understanding and Changing Abusive Behavior | Stephen Ing S4E10
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you’ve ever wondered why abusers do what they do, whether therapy actually works for them, or how we can truly break the generational cycle of domestic violence — this episode gives you clear, compassionate, and unflinching answers. Lisa Sonni sits down with Stephen Ng (also known as Steven Ng), a seasoned Marriage and Family Therapist with decades of experience working with abusers, survivors, and families. Drawing from both his professional expertise and personal journey, Stephen challenges common myths about domestic violence and offers a deeper understanding of what real, lasting change requires. This is an educational conversation for anyone who wants safer relationships, stronger communities, and real prevention of abuse. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Why Letting Go Feels Worse Than Staying with Chelli Pumphrey | S4E09
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you’ve ever recognized the abuse but felt completely paralyzed and unable to leave, this episode explains exactly why that happens and how to break free. Lisa Sonni speaks with Chelli Pumphrey , a trauma-informed therapist specializing in attachment and relational healing. Drawing from both professional expertise and her own lived experience, Chelli unpacks trauma bonds as powerful biochemical and attachment-based phenomena, the cognitive dissonance and analysis paralysis that keep survivors stuck, and how anxious attachment styles fuel the painful cycle of highs and lows. She also explores the primal fear of leaving, the grief of letting go of the idealized future, and practical strategies for shifting attachment patterns, rebuilding self-trust, and finding safety. The conversation highlights the power of self-compassion, decentering the abuser, and the vital support of communities like the She Rises Collective. This episode offers deep validation and real hope: leaving is hard, but it almost always leads to greater peace, safety, and happiness. Healing is possible—you don’t have to do it alone. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
He Cheated, Blamed You, and Still Expected You to Stay | Dr. Kathy Nickerson | S4E08
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you’ve ever been cheated on, then blamed for it while he expected you to just move on and stay, this episode will validate your experience and cut through the confusion. Lisa Sonni sits down with Dr. Kathy Nickelson to explore the dangerous overlap between infidelity and abusive, controlling behavior. They break down why cheating in abusive relationships is rarely “just about sex” or immaturity — it’s often rooted in entitlement, power, and a lack of accountability. The conversation clearly distinguishes between typical infidelity and patterns of emotional or physical abuse, helping listeners spot performative remorse versus genuine change. Dr. Nickelson shares insights on the role of childhood conditioning, attachment wounds, boundary-setting, and why hoping for change without real consequences often keeps women stuck. This episode empowers survivors with clarity around self-trust, safety, and the realistic path to healing. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
I Survived a Con Artist. Here's How Abuse Works | S4E7
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! In this episode, Dr. Nadine Macaluso — trauma bond expert and survivor of narcissistic abuse — reveals the sophisticated con tactics narcissists use to manipulate, trap, and control their partners. Drawing from her personal journey as the real-life ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street and her clinical expertise, she explains the stages of abuse, including love bombing, mirroring, gaslighting, and the painful switch from charm to control. Dr. Nadine explores the biological addiction of trauma bonds, the specific traits abusers target in victims, and why it’s so difficult to recognize and leave these relationships. She also addresses shame, cognitive dissonance, and the path to healing through community support and self-compassion. This conversation offers powerful validation, clarity, and hope for anyone recovering from toxic relationships. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Why Women Get More Backlash for Naming Harm Than Men Get for Causing It | Reagan, Host of Buckle Up Babes S4E6
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you’ve ever heard “women just lie for attention,” “false accusations are ruining men’s lives,” or wondered why so many survivors wait years to speak up—this episode cuts through the noise with honesty and evidence. Lisa Sonni sits down with Reagan (Reagan Reacts / Buckle Up Babes), a sharp content creator who breaks down abuse, misconduct, and the societal narratives that protect abusers while silencing victims. Together they dismantle the most common myths around abuse allegations, expose systemic failures, and explain why coming forward is so incredibly difficult for most women. This is a raw, well-researched conversation that challenges victim-blaming culture and highlights the real dynamics of power, trauma, and justice. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Character Isn’t Chemistry: How to Stop Falling for Sparks and Start Seeing Who He Really Is | Chantel Hyde S4E5
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you've ever felt terrified to date again after abuse, wondered why your "radar" keeps failing you, or questioned how to trust yourself (and others) moving forward—this episode is going to validate everything you've sensed and give you clear, practical tools to move forward with confidence. Canada’s Dating Coach Chantel Hyde joins us to share her powerful insights drawn from sociology, psychology, personal experience, and years of coaching women through healing and dating. We dive deep into why slowing down is non-negotiable, how to properly vet partners, the biology and psychology behind toxic attraction, and how to rebuild your self-respect so you never settle for less again. This conversation dismantles the societal conditioning that leads women into unhealthy dynamics and replaces it with empowering strategies for choosing (and being chosen by) high-quality partners. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
He Doesn’t Want A Partner. He Wants A Mother | Aishia Grevenberg S4E4
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you've ever been told your standards are too high, that you're trying to change him, or that real love means accepting everything he does - this episode is going to name something you've been feeling for a long time but maybe couldn't say out loud. Therapist, educator, and LCSW Aishia Grevenberg is back for her third conversation with me, and this time we're getting into why abusive men genuinely believe love should be unconditional - and why that belief has nothing to do with love. What they're really asking for isn't a partner. It's a mother. And once you understand the dominance dynamic underneath that demand, so much of what happened to you starts to make a different kind of sense. We talk about why your needs feel like a threat to a man who needs control, the difference between pity and compassion and how men use one to keep you stuck, what love bombing actually does to a woman who grew up without a baseline for healthy love, and why having conditions in a relationship isn't selfish - it's the bare minimum. If someone has ever made you feel like your standards were the problem, this one will make you feel a lot less crazy and a lot less alone. Find Aishia: @mytherapistlife on all platforms Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
5 Covert Gaslighting Tactics That Make You Question Your Own Reality | Dr. Robin Stern | S4E3
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You know what gaslighting is. ”You're too sensitive.” ”I was just joking.” ”That never happened.” But there is a version of gaslighting that is much harder to name. It does not announce itself. It works slowly, through tone and framing and forgetfulness and calm. And by the time you notice it, you have already started doubting your own memory, your own perception, and your own mind. Lisa sits down with Dr. Robin Stern, therapist, author, and co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, to go deep on the 5 covert tactics that most people never recognize as gaslighting. Dr. Stern is clear that these tactics are not always conscious, but in the hands of someone who uses them consistently, the effect is the same. You stop trusting yourself. You begin organizing your life around avoiding his reaction. You forget who you were before the confusion started. Because sometimes the calmest person in the room is causing the most damage. Resources mentioned: The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
How Abusive Men Make You Think You're the Abuser | Emma Davey | S4E2
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you have ever wondered whether you are the toxic one, the narcissist, the problem…that question is not a coincidence, it was put there on purpose. Lisa sits down with Emma Davey, trauma-informed counsellor and master's candidate in the psychology of coercive and controlling behaviour, to break down exactly how abusive men flip the script. Together they walk through how self-blame gets installed from the very beginning, why the fawn response has so many women working overtime to manage someone else's mood, and what DARVO actually looks like in real time inside a relationship and in court. They also get into the fight response, the moment you finally explode after months or years of being poked, prodded, and worn down, and why that moment gets weaponized as proof that you are the unstable one. Emma is clear: that reaction does not make you the abuser, it makes you human. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was built to do. One of the most important reframes in this conversation is also one of the simplest. The person genuinely causing harm is not lying awake at night wondering if they are hurting you. They are not on YouTube looking for answers. You are. And that tells you everything you need to know. Resources mentioned: Mynara app by Emma Davey (evidence tracking, disguised as a calculator) My Trauma Therapy: mytraumatherapy.co.uk Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Why Narcissists Explode When You Set Boundaries | Bill Eddy on High Conflict Escalation | S4E1
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You knew it was coming. Maybe not the exact moment, but you felt it building. The tension in the room. The stillness before it broke. Your nervous system clocked it before your brain caught up. That's pattern recognition, and there's a reason these conflicts follow a script. Lisa sits down with Bill Eddy, lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, to break down exactly why escalation in high conflict relationships is predictable, what triggers it, and how it plays out differently across three distinct personality patterns. Bill explains why setting a boundary isn't just uncomfortable for these people, it's experienced as a threat that requires a response. He covers how they move from verbal attacks to punishment to recruiting others into the conflict, why they see themselves as the victim even while causing harm, and what survivors consistently get wrong when they're in the middle of it. One of the most important moments in this conversation is a simple reframe: escalation is not proof that you did something wrong. It's proof that the system was challenged. Once you understand that, everything shifts. Resources mentioned: SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences by Bill Eddy Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You keep trying to make sense of it. Maybe he didn’t mean it. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you’re overthinking. The reality? Confusion is not the problem. It’s the outcome. When someone can hurt you and comfort you in the same breath, your brain tries to reconcile two realities that don’t belong together. He loves you and he harms you. He apologizes and repeats it. That contradiction is what keeps you stuck trying to figure it out. In this “Best Of” Real Talk episode, Lisa pulls together powerful insights from Dr. Peter Salerno, Aishia Grevenberg, Dr. Les Carter, and Brent MacLerie to expose what is actually happening beneath that confusion. They break down how manipulation often hides behind subtle behavior, how entitlement drives repeated harm, and why the idea that “he doesn’t know what he’s doing” keeps you trapped longer. When behavior repeats, especially when it hurts you, that is not confusion. That is information. The clarity you’ve been searching for is not in understanding him better. It’s in seeing the pattern clearly and trusting what it’s already showing you. 🎧 Listen to the full episodes: Dr. Peter Salerno: https://youtu.be/_gKCmT1YazY Aishia Grevenberg: https://youtu.be/-LeQ9ZwtcGY Dr. Les Carter: https://youtu.be/kU5siEWppf8 Brent MacLerie: https://youtu.be/aibF4SAjX_8 Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
If He Acts Like This About Sex, It's Abuse | Best Of Relationships Uncensored | S3E16
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! "Physical touch is his love language." "If you loved him, you'd just do it." "If you were having more sex with him, maybe he wouldn't cheat." You've heard these. Maybe you've even believed them. These aren't relationship truths. They're the exact language used to override your instincts and make you question what you already know. In this Best Of episode, Lisa brings together the most powerful moments from her conversations with Dr. Danielle Kramer, Dr. Kate Balestrieri, and Nat LaJune, four voices, four perspectives, all pointing to the same truth: sexual entitlement inside a committed relationship is coercion. Coercion is abuse. If your bedroom feels like an obligation instead of a connection, that's not a you problem. When someone believes your body is something they're owed, intimacy doesn't just suffer, it dies. And it's being killed on purpose. Your feelings matter. Your discomfort matters. Your no matters. Links to the full episodes with Dr. Danielle Kramer, Dr. Kate Balestrieri, and Nat LaJune are below. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
How Abusive Men Turn Strong Women Into Women Who Stay with Dr. Peter Salerno | S3EP15
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You didn’t become someone else overnight. You were shaped into someone who could survive him. It starts quietly. The confidence he once admired becomes “too much.” Your opinions become “dramatic.” Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you begin editing yourself to keep the peace. What feels like compromise is actually erosion. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Dr. Peter Salerno to expose the psychological process behind how strong, self-aware women lose themselves in abusive relationships. It is patterned, strategic, and deeply disorienting. They unpack how abusers study your strengths, then weaponize them, how intermittent reinforcement conditions you to stay, and how the relationship becomes a system that rewards your self-abandonment while punishing your authenticity. They also break down the moment everything flips, when you stop assessing him and start managing yourself. The confusion, the self-doubt, the constant internal analysis. None of it is weakness. It is conditioning. By the time you leave, the deepest loss is not just the relationship. It is the version of you that slowly disappeared inside it. Healing is not just about understanding what happened. It is about rebuilding self-respect so fully that you can never be trained out of yourself again. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
“These Are Not Facts”: The Lies That Keep Abuse Normalized | S3E14
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You were never “too sensitive.” You were surrounded by lies repeated so often they started to feel like truth. Abuse is rare. Women lie. Men and women do it equally. None of these are facts, and believing them keeps you stuck questioning your own reality. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with Brent McLearie, creator of the “These Are Not Facts” series, to dismantle the narratives that quietly protect abuse while discrediting survivors. They break down how these myths spread, why they are so convincing, and how they distort the way we interpret harm, credibility, and responsibility. When abuse is framed as rare, survivors struggle to name it. When false accusations are exaggerated, survivors stay silent. When everything is flattened into “equal,” the truth disappears. Brent brings data and context to what survivors already feel in their bodies, that something is off about the way the world talks about abuse. Together, they expose how these narratives shift focus away from perpetrators and onto survivors, forcing them to defend their pain instead of being supported through it. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
When Sex Becomes Obligation: Sexual Entitlement in Relationships | S3E13
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Sexual entitlement isn’t “a relationship issue.” It’s a belief system. It’s the mindset that your body comes with the marriage, the title, the ring, the label, the contract, the “needs.” It’s the idea that your availability lives on standby, no matter how he treats you, no matter what your body feels, no matter what your nervous system is screaming. This is a rare solo episode, but you’re not listening to me alone. I’m reading three anonymous stories from women who volunteered to share what’s happening inside coercive, entitled relationships, where “no” turns into punishment, pressure, guilt, and emotional warfare. Names and identifying details have been removed, and the audio will be edited for clarity. This isn’t about different libidos. It’s not about two people feeling disconnected sometimes. It’s not “schedule it in” advice. This is about men who act like sex is owed, men who track it, count it, demand it, punish you for it, and then flip it on you when you don’t comply. It’s about how consent gets turned into a debate, how your character ends up on trial, and how women end up using their bodies to manage a man’s mood, not because they want to, but because they feel like they have to. If you feel tense instead of turned on when he initiates, that makes sense. If you feel numb, braced, guilty, or like you’re calculating consequences in your head, that makes sense. If you’ve ever found yourself initiating just to avoid the coldness, the slamming, the rage, the sulking, the withdrawal, or the escalation, listen closely. That’s not intimacy. That’s survival. And when he calls it “withholding,” “rejection,” “weaponizing sex,” or even “emotional abuse,” pay attention to what’s happening. A lot of abusive men use therapy language and “healthy relationship” talk to make you doubt your reality and to force a false equivalency, so you end up defending yourself instead of seeing the pattern. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Divorcing a Narcissistic or Toxic Partner: What You Need to Know | S3EP12
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! In this episode of Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored, Lisa speaks with Angela Van, CEO of Family Court Corner, about the realities of divorcing and co-parenting with an abusive or highly destructive partner. Angela shares lessons from her own ten-year custody battle—one that reached the Supreme Court of Canada—and explains how she now helps survivors navigate divorce, custody disputes, and post-separation abuse. The discussion focuses heavily on strategy. Angela explains how abusive partners often create constant distractions and conflicts to keep survivors emotionally engaged and reactive. This pattern can drain energy, escalate conflict, and damage credibility during divorce or custody battles. Learning to disengage, manage emotional responses, and shift focus back to personal growth and stability can be a powerful way to regain control during this process. The episode also examines how emotional dysregulation, ego, and understandable anger can unintentionally work against survivors in family court. Judges, lawyers, and professionals observing the situation often see only behavior in the moment, not the long history of abuse behind it. Because of this, maintaining composure, documenting behavior, and refusing to be pulled into conflict can become critical parts of protecting both oneself and one’s children. Throughout the conversation, Angela shares practical insights on navigating high-conflict divorce, handling custody disputes with abusive partners, and maintaining emotional boundaries during co-parenting with someone who continues to provoke conflict. The goal is not only survival during the legal process, but ultimately growth and empowerment beyond it. Topics discussed in this episode include post-separation abuse, family court strategy, divorcing an abusive partner, custody battles with toxic ex-partners, emotional regulation during divorce proceedings, co-parenting with a high-conflict parent, and reclaiming personal power after leaving an abusive relationship. If you are interested in relationship psychology, toxic relationship recovery, custody battles, or strategies for navigating divorce with an abusive partner, this episode offers insight from someone who has lived through the process and now helps others do the same. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Toxic vs Abusive Relationships: The Difference Most People Miss with Dr. Marina Rosenthal | S3EP11
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Couples therapy is not the place to sort out coercive control. Full stop. But I also get why women end up there anyway, because when your relationship is messy, you’re trying to name what’s happening. Is it stress. Is it trauma. Is it aggression. Is it abuse. And when you’re living inside it, it can all blur. I sat down with Dr. Marina Rosenthal, psychologist, couples therapist, and sex therapist with a background in trauma psychology and violence against women research, to talk about that murky middle. The high conflict stuff that feels awful, the dynamics that get minimized as “just communication,” and the moments that get used to confuse you even more. We break down why language matters, why “abuse” gets debated while behaviors get ignored, and why asking “is it abuse?” often isn’t the most useful starting point. We talk coercive control, sexual coercion, threats, weaponized calm, the praise that keeps you in line, and the way power shows up through money, freedom, access, and the invisible consequences you learn to avoid. We also go into Darvo, false equivalency, the trap of “you’re both toxic,” and what actually helps you assess safety without getting stuck in labels. Real talk, lots of nuance, but still clear. You’re not crazy for being confused. Confusion is part of the system. Dr. Marina also shares where to find her free resource “Red Flags and Red Lines” to help you figure out whether couples therapy is even safe to attempt. Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Why Women End Up Doing Everything in Relationships with Terri Cole | S3E10
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! For years, women have been told they’re codependent. Too attached, too emotional, too responsible for everyone else’s feelings. And a lot of you have worn that label like proof that something is wrong with you. So I brought on Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, boundary expert, and the voice behind “high-functioning codependency,” to talk about what this word actually means, how it gets misused, and why it can erase power, context, and safety when we’re talking about emotionally unsafe men. We get into self-abandonment, the auto-yes, the low-grade resentment that never seems to have a clear source, and the way “being the capable one” can turn into a full-time job you never applied for. We also talk about boundaries in real life, what changes when someone is toxic or controlling, and why some women don’t recognize themselves in the classic codependency story even when they’re exhausted, overextended, and carrying everything. Terri also shares the definition she uses, why she coined the term high-functioning codependency, and the small daily shifts that start giving you your life back. Resources she shared: boundaryquiz.com https://www.terricole.com/btc/ Support the show This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at lisasonni.com Book A Session with Lisa Join my online survivor community called She Rises Collective where we are breaking free, rebuilding and dismantling patriarchy. Follow on IG Watch on YouTube Get My Books Here New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth - and remember: You’re stronger than they ever wanted you to believe.
Keep the useful structure, then change the audience, point of view, and voice until the idea is unmistakably yours.
