Own Your Identity

Being in the presence of an attractive man could make me exhale. Why?In this episode, I explore the relief I sometimes felt around confident men, the difference between effort fatigue and fear fatigue, and why I now bring my fear to God instead of looking to attraction for relief.Understanding that difference has helped lessen the intensity of my same-sex attractions and freed up more energy for the meaningful pursuits God has placed on my heart.For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit https://ownyouridentitynow.com/

How much should you tell your wife when you’re struggling with same-sex attraction? What does healthy accountability look like? Can deep friendships with other men—including men who also experience SSA—be part of healing? And what about the longing for healthy physical touch? In this special panel discussion, I’m joined by Rich Wyler, founder of Brothers Road, along with Lare McCreary and his wife, Amy, for an honest and practical conversation about marriage, male friendship, vulnerability, accountability, and connection. We talk about: • How husbands and wives can decide together what healthy transparency looks like • How to bring struggles and attractions into the light without shame • Building healthy friendships with men who do—and don’t—experience same-sex attraction • Keeping your marriage first while pursuing meaningful male connection • Why noticing attraction doesn’t have to become a crisis• Understanding what may be underneath a particular attraction • The power of healthy, nonsexual physical touch between men • What Amy would tell a woman who learns that the man she’s dating experiences same-sex attraction ABOUT RICH WYLER Rich is the founder and executive director of Brothers Road, an international community offering experiential programs, support, and resources for men navigating same-sex attraction, as well as resources for wives and others who love them. Learn more about Brothers Road:https://brothersroad.org Rich also offers individual life coaching through Higher Path Life Coaching. https://www.higherpathcoaching.com/ Brothers Road offers programs including Journey Into Manhood and A Woman Who Loves, as well as opportunities for ongoing community and support. ABOUT LARE & AMY McCREARY Lare is developing the True Men Project, a platform launching January 2027, featuring authentic stories and resources for men. Contact Lare:info@truemenproject.com Lare and Amy share candidly in this episode from their own marriage—what they’ve learned about trust, communication, boundaries, vulnerability, and walking through this story together. ABOUT OWN YOUR IDENTITY If you experience same-sex attraction, your attractions do not get to define who you are or predict what your future can become. You are not defined by your attractions. You are defined by the One who calls you His. For tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit https://ownyouridentitynow.com. Want to discover how you may be letting your same-sex attractions hold you back in 5 key life areas? Visit https://ownyouridentitynow.com/ssaquiz/

What changes when you stop wondering how others will respond to your story and decide in advance that your story is a gift? This episode explores how owning the meaning of your story can reduce mental clutter, help you be more present with others, and free you to share your story from a place of confidence rather than shame. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit Own Your Identity | Same-Sex Attraction Help for Christian Men

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately started comparing yourself? Maybe you're scanning for the "right" person to talk to. Maybe you're wondering if you measure up. Or maybe you're hiding behind the fear that if people really knew you, they'd walk away. I've lived all three. In this episode, I share three conversations that repeated themselves throughout my young adult years—and the surprising lesson they taught me about relationships. I've come to believe that our greatest obstacle to connection isn't simply insecurity. It's becoming so preoccupied with ourselves that we miss the people God has placed right in front of us. The good news? You don't have to be the funniest, smartest, most confident, or most interesting person in the room. You can bring two simple gifts into every conversation: Presence. Curiosity. Those two gifts have the power to transform your relationships, deepen your friendships, and help you honor others in a way that reflects the heart of Christ. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit: Own Your Identity | Same-Sex Attraction Help for Christian Men

Have you ever left part of yourself behind? Many of us are moving through life carrying invisible instructions: "Stay here." "You're too weak." "You're too emotional." "I'll come back for you once I've figured life out." In this episode, I share a deeply personal story about the unexpected grief that surfaced while God was blessing my ministry—and how a mentor's simple words changed the way I understood healing: "Big Jason is doing big things, but Little Jason can't keep up." We'll explore what it looks like to stop abandoning the younger, hurting, grieving, or ashamed parts of ourselves and instead bring them with us as we follow Christ. Whether you've experienced same-sex attraction, struggled with shame after relapse, wrestled with loneliness, or simply feel like you've spent years trying to become someone else, I hope this conversation reminds you that Jesus doesn't ask for a polished version of you. He invites the real you to walk with Him. You don't have to become someone else before following Jesus. You don't have to leave yourself behind. You can take you with you. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

What does the Pride flag mean to you? In this deeply personal episode, I share why the Pride flag has represented grief, permission, deception, and opportunity throughout different seasons of my life. More importantly, I explore two powerful abilities God has given each of us: the ability to choose what something means and the ability to choose what we focus on. Through my own story, the story of my dad, and timeless biblical examples, we'll discover how the meanings we assign to life's hardest experiences shape the people we become—and how Scripture invites us to interpret our lives in ways that produce greater faith, hope, love, and purpose. Life happens. The meaning we give it is a choice. Is Same-Sex Attraction Holding You Back? | Free Assessment

What if the best time to adopt a mentor mindset is when you feel least qualified? Most of us think of mentors as successful, confident people who have already overcome life's challenges. But what if one of the most powerful things you could do in a difficult season is spend two minutes a day thinking like a future guide? In this episode, I share a vulnerable story from my final semester of college when I landed in the emergency room after a nervous breakdown. Looking back, I believe adopting a mentor mindset—even for a few minutes a day—could have changed the way I walked through that season. You'll learn:• Why your current struggle may matter more than you think• How a mentor mindset creates hope in the middle of pain• Six things every mentor believes• Why God often uses our hardest experiences to prepare us to help others• Three practical tools for developing a mentor mindset today Whether you're navigating same-sex attraction, loneliness, divorce, rejection, a faith crisis, pornography recovery, or simply a season that doesn't make sense, this episode will challenge you to stop asking only, "How do I get through this?" and start asking, "What am I learning that might help someone else someday?" Because your story isn't over. And someone needs the wisdom you're gaining right now. 🌐 Do you feel like SSA is bigger than you? Take SSAquiz: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/ssaquiz/ 🤝 Interested in coaching? Visit https://ownyouridentitynow.com/coaching/ #OwnYourIdentity #Mentorship #PersonalGrowth #ChristianMen #Purpose #Healing #SameSexAttraction #FaithJourney #MentalHealth #Leadership

Chuck was 73 years old before he shared about his same-sex attractions. For decades, fear, shame, and silence kept parts of his story hidden. But when he finally chose to use his voice, he discovered something many of us need to hear: It is never too late. Never too late to tell the truth. Never too late to step out of hiding. Never too late to embrace who God says you are. In this conversation, Chuck shares his journey toward greater freedom, courage, and authenticity—and how choosing to live in the light changed everything. If you've ever wondered whether your story still matters, this episode is for you. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com

Why did a muscle magazine have such a hold on me? For years, I found myself drawn to images of strong, muscular men. I thought I was looking at bodies. Looking back, I think I was looking for something else. In this episode, I explore a question that has followed me for decades: If muscles could talk, what would they say? They seemed to promise strength, confidence, belonging, security, and relief from the fear that I wasn't enough. But no matter how much I worked out, the message never changed: "Get back to the gym." Join me as I unpack the deeper story behind body image, masculinity, comparison, and same-sex attraction—and how I discovered that the things we pursue for worth can never give us what we're truly seeking. Whether you've struggled with body shame, comparison, insecurity, or the feeling that you have to earn your place in the world, I think you'll find something of yourself in this conversation. In this episode: Why I was obsessed with muscle magazines The hidden messages I attached to muscular bodies How body image became a search for worth The difference between pursuing strength and pursuing relief What muscles can and cannot give us Finding identity beyond performance and appearance ✉️I'd love to hear from you! Shoot me a line at hello@jasonmellard.com 🔗 Learn more about coaching and resources: Own Your Identity

What if the shame you carry about your body is actually tied to a deeper story you’ve believed about yourself? In this deeply personal episode, Jason shares vivid memories from his childhood and teenage years — from “shirts vs. skins” in PE to comparing himself to other boys, feeling exposed in his body, and believing he didn’t measure up as a man. He explores how body shame can shape identity, fuel comparison, distort confidence, and even become entangled with validation, masculinity, and same-sex attraction. You’ll also hear honest stories and reflections from men in the Own Your Identity community about insecurity, comparison, fitness, shame, and healing. In this episode: Why body shame often begins in small, confusing moments The hidden story many men attach to their bodies How comparison steals presence and confidence The overlap between body shame, validation, and same-sex attraction Why a “better body” can’t heal a wounded identity A practical framework for healing body shame How the gospel speaks to shame, exposure, and worth You do not need a different body to begin living a meaningful life. You need a different story. Learn more about coaching and resources at ownyouridentitynow.com

“You’ve got what it takes.” That’s what my friend Noah writes to Timothy—a young man experiencing same-sex attraction (SSA) and feeling alone.In this episode, I share Noah’s letter and the impact it had on me. If you’ve wrestled with SSA, shame, identity, or your future, I hope this reminds you: you are not alone, and your story isn’t over.👉 Read Noah’s full letter: https://jasonmellard.com/dear-timothy-with-love-noah/👉 Coaching: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/groupcoaching

What are you avoiding that you don’t want to die wondering about? In this conversation with Harrison Bly, author of Bent on Men , we explore a simple but confronting rule of life: don’t die wondering. We talk about what it looks like to: Say the honest thing in friendships Share your story instead of hiding it Get curious about your attractions instead of fearing them Take small, meaningful risks that move you toward connection Harrison shares how vulnerability didn’t come all at once, but through a series of small decisions to stop avoiding and start engaging. This episode is an invitation to stop playing it safe — and start living with courage, curiosity, and faith. Because the greatest tragedy isn’t failure… It’s living a life where you never stepped forward — and always wondered what could have been. About Harrison Bly: Harrison Bly is an author and speaker helping men find hope and freedom in the tension between faith, identity, and same-sex attraction. His book Bent on Men is a raw and honest look at his journey toward authenticity, healing, and connection. https://harrisonbly.com/ 🔗 Connect with OYI Website: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/ Coaching: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/coaching/ Take the SSA CLARTITY QUIZ: https://ownyouridentitynow.com/ssaquiz/ 🙌 If this resonated Like, subscribe, and share this with someone who needs the reminder: You don’t have to stay stuck.

What happens when the story you’ve been telling yourself about your attractions begins to change? In this episode, Jason talks with Kevin, a graduate of the Own Your Identity group coaching program, about his journey from shame and isolation to honesty, community, and a renewed understanding of identity. Kevin shares about growing up with confusing attractions, the loneliness of secrecy, and the courage it took to finally open up to safe people. He also talks about how learning he wasn’t alone changed everything. This conversation is a reminder that your attractions don’t define you — and that sharing your story can be a powerful step toward freedom. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

What if you’ve been measuring the wrong thing? For years, I defined success in my SSA journey by whether I felt more drawn to women than men. In this conversation, I share why attraction isn’t a test — and how real growth is about staying grounded, aligned, and steady no matter what you feel.

Living with shame can make life so much harder than it needs to be. My friend Lare and I invite you to choose a greater future than what shame offers. You are not broken and you aren't alone.

Are your goals helping you become more alive—or just more controlled? This episode invites you to move beyond avoidance and into legacy, asking a simple but challenging question: what do people experience of life when they’re with you?For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com

What if part of our healing isn’t just honoring what hurt, but remembering what made you feel alive? In this episode, I reflect on wonder as a practical posture—one that calms the nervous system, expands perspective, and helps you engage life with greater openness and courage. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

Do you brace yourself when someone says, "there you are"? In this episode, I discuss how this phrase can feel like pressure. But what if you let it be an invitation to just be yourself? For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .

You don’t need to eliminate your attractions to be free. This episode reframes same-sex attraction as information rather than identity and offers a framework for responding with clarity, strength, and agency. Discover how to reclaim your power — and join the new course, Reclaim Power Over Attractions .

What if the first thing God asked a man to do wasn’t to lead, protect, or achieve—but to create ? In this episode, we explore the overlooked masculine calling of creativity: shaping life, bringing order from chaos, creating safety, setting vision, and reflecting the generative heart of God. Whether you’ve doubted your influence or felt outside traditional masculinity—especially for men navigating SSA—this message will remind you of the creative strength God placed in you from the beginning. For more tools to live beyond your same-sex attractions and into your purpose, visit ownyouridentitynow.com .