The Montoyas

Date night at Luna Park turns into survival mode when Marcelo abandons Tayla with a double-jointed clown. So much for sticking together when things get scary. Tayla hears a whisper in a Nicki Minaj video and dives straight down a conspiracy rabbit hole. Is Nicki a body double, or has Tayla just watched the clip too many times? This week’s Uncomfortable Moment comes from a pregnant listener’s five-pound bathroom disaster. It involves an enema, her husband’s best friend and a mop. Don't forget when life throws you up uncomfortable moments, ensure you're in the most comfortable underwear budgysmuggler.com.au/ If you have a uncomfortable moment to share send us a DM or voice note on Instagram or send us a voicemail here: 02 8405 7970 If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

The episode gets off to an icy start after Tayla and Marcelo argue over who should get the twins ready on the way to the studio. They don't speak the whole drive in and are forced to settle the dispute live on the podcast. Thanks to Pearler, the Monotyas put there spending under the microscope as Tayla and Marcelo reveal everything they've bought in one week. Marcelo faces $95 of McDonalds,$130 of dumplings and three seperate orders of fried rice, while Tayla defends $75 of iced lattes, new eyelashes, collagen powder and two Minnie Mouse costumes. If you want to check out the Pearler head to Pearler.com. Tayla believes she's discovered how to identify a serial killer just be looking at there eyes thanks to late night scrolling. She puts Marcelo and Jordan to the test using real If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase.

Tayla has watched the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show reveal roughly 35 times and still gets emotional over its $50 million fantasy bra. Marcelo struggles to understand why she’s crying over someone walking down a runway in expensive underwear and thinks the money could have been put to much better use doing anything else at all. Tayla shares some of the worst workplace mistakes people still think about years later, from telling a cancer patient to “enjoy the rest of your days” to promising a double amputee they’ll be “back on their feet in no time.” One worker even congratulated someone on their retirement in their funeral card it just gets better and better. This week’s Uncomfortable Moment brought to you by the good folks at Budgie Smuggler comes from a listener whose drunk ex-girlfriend had an accident in his bed. Years later, he still can’t forget the smell or what he had to do afterwards. Don't forget when life throws you up uncomfortable moments, ensure you're in the most comfortable underwear budgysmuggler.com.au/ If you have a uncomfortable moment to share send us a DM or voice note on Instagram or send us a voicemail here: 02 8405 7970 If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

The Montoyas react to a bride walking down the aisle beside a public swimming pool filled with strangers watching the ceremony. Tayla thinks the venue should have closed the pool, while Marcelo argues the other guests paid good money for their holiday. If you want complete privacy, apparently you need to hire the entire resort or get married on a private island. Tayla reveals it took four attempts to pass her driving test, including one attempt where she crashed into a pole before even leaving the car park. Her former driving instructor then calls into Triple M and confirms every lesson was an adventure. Now Tayla and Marcelo have agreed to retake the test and finally discover who is actually the better driver. This week’s What We’re Invested In, thanks to Blue Wealth Property, is the new flying Tesla car. Marcelo is impressed, but Tayla has questions: Does it come with its own ramp? Do you need a pilot’s licence? And if she already struggles with gates, garages and hedges, should she really be allowed anywhere near one?

A footy journalist shares a player’s appreciation post for his wife and asks followers whether he’s “punching.” The post sparks a debate about whether partners should be dragged into online commentary, and Tayla and Marcelo weigh in on whether it crossed the line. Tayla convinces her mum to save money by doing her own nails, which goes brilliantly until one disappears into her dad’s salad. Surely that couldn’t happen twice? A few days later, another nail turns up in a restaurant dessert. At this point, Marcelo thinks it might be deliberate. Down the Thread Hole asks for the most unhinged things guests have ever done inside someone else’s home. Sleeping with the host’s girlfriend, leaving a used condom on a Bible, installing a hidden bathroom camera and leaving a trail of diarrhoea through the kitchen are just the beginning. Tayla also reveals why one childhood friend was permanently banned after a visit to her house. Don't forget when life throws you up uncomfortable moments, ensure you're in the most comfortable underwear budgysmuggler.com.au/

Marcelo and Albert celebrate the launch of the Monday show with a quiet drink, which quickly turns into Albert using Tayla’s front yard as a toilet and Marcelo trying to follow him home the night before a wedding. Tayla is forced to shut the entire operation down, sending one brother upstairs and ordering the other to get out of the Shire. This week’s "What We’re Invested In", thanks to Blue Wealth Property, is our guest Angela McColl. Angela opens up about navigating the end of her marriage while raising a three-month-old baby, watching her former partner move on and managing the enormous online attention surrounding it all. Angela also reveals how one of the hardest periods of her life inspired "Save Me a Seat", her YouTube series exploring different cultures through food and family. The Honest Truth then brings out her petty side as she confesses to furnishing a new house using an ex’s card we’re talking an expensive Dyson, hundreds of dollars in cutlery and $45 pillows! If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase. If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

The Montoyas launch their first Monday episode in front of a live audience! One man has hard launched his divorce on Instagram, complete with an FAQ explaining what happened, who gets the pets and whether people can still invite them both to events. Marcelo is convinced there’s more to the story. Was there cheating, swinging or an opera career that destroyed the marriage? Marcelo finally abandons his dream of owning a Nokia and buys a new iPhon, but the real trouble begins when he pays $295 for two phone cases and a screen protector. Tayla nearly turns the twins’ stroller around to demand a refund, lucky for the unamed store the twins were hungry otherwise it would of been on. Tayla discovers the most unhinged ways people are using ChatGPT. It’s being used as a relationship referee, personal shopper, lawyer and even to recreate conversations with a friend who has passed away. Then someone admits using it to fabricate evidence after getting caught cheating. Maybe artificial intelligence has officially gone too far! Don't forget when life throws you up uncomfortable moments, ensure you're in the most comfortable underwear budgysmuggler.com.au/

*Join our Patreon* Sign up for a bonus episode each week and more, exclusive to paid subscribers. NRL legend Josh Papali’i joins the Montoyas following his retirement after 342 games for the Canberra Raiders. Josh reveals the moments that convinced him to walk away, why his wife stopped him from chasing another contract overseas and the brutal physical cost of his career. Josh and Marcelo compare life as fathers and admit what really happens when the kids start crying at 3am. Both lie perfectly still, hoping their wives will get up first, while Marcelo confesses he started wearing earplugs when the twins came home. According to the boys, the kids want their mums anyway very convenient! Then Noah joins the couch and immediately starts exposing his dad. From Josh getting drunk after golf and hiding in the toilet to avoid chores, to his questionable cooking and driving, nothing is off limits!! If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase.If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!! Guys we've been listening to the requests and in the next couple of weeks a second episode is coming on Monday. Watch This Space! *Join our Patreon* Sign up for a bonus episode each week and more, exclusive to paid subscribers. Plus massive news for Patreon subscribers, listen out in this weeks Patreon episode, you now have access to our hotline to leave us a message! Marcelo makes the genius decision to leave his wallet on top of the car before driving away. By the time he realises, it’s gone and someone has already tried to spend $800 on Amazon gift cards. Tayla is furious, Marcelo is surprisingly calm and, forget the bank cards, he’s mostly mourning the Burberry wallet Tayla bought him! Finally, Tayla has one simple request: Marcelo needs to stop tightening every lid like he’s competing in a strongman competition. The twins’ water bottles are impossible to open, and it’s bringing back memories of the time Tayla cried at 4am because she couldn’t get the lid off her blender. Marcelo’s solution? Get stronger. Helpful as always! If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase. If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

*Join our Patreon* Sign up for a bonus episode each week and more, exclusive to paid subscribers. Plus massive news for Patreon subscribers, listen out in this weeks Patreon episode, you now have access to our hotline to leave us a message! Marcelo arrives home to tell Tayla he's scored two free coffees, only for Tayla to discover they’ve come with a very expensive parking fine. He barely accepts that he broke the rules, but what he can’t accept is being caught by a parking ranger wearing a cowboy hat while driving a hybrid RAV4. If you’re going to dress like Crocodile Dundee you should at least arrive on horseback. An innocent trip to the playground turns into Tayla beefing with a five-year-old after he tells one of the twins to shut up and stop copying him. When he returns to order the family off a park bench, Tayla decides she’s had enough and stands up for her girls once and for all. Plus, the Montoyas reveal the laziest things people have ever done. From paying for a remote control app to avoid leaving the couch, to wearing sunglasses in bed because turning off the light feels like too much work, Tayla and Marcelo discover that some people’s laziness knows absolutely no limits. If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

*Join our Patreon* Sign up for a bonus episode each week and more, exclusive to paid subscribers. Plus massive news for Patreon subscribers, listen out in this weeks Patreon episode, you now have access to our hotline to leave us a message! The Montoyas arrive slightly dusty after Marcelo’s final Bulldogs awards night as a player, where Tayla enjoys her newfound NRLW friends and Marcelo walks face-first into a glass door. Then it’s back to reality and Marcelo’s new nine-to-five life, although his colleagues may already be regretting it after he starts calling them before their working day has even begun. Tayla reveals how close the family came to losing Louis after he squeezed through a tiny gap and ended up stranded in the middle of a busy road in Cronulla. A stranger stops traffic to rescue him, Ralph suddenly remembers he’s a German Shepherd and absolute chaos follows. One dog nearly gets run over, the other gets kicked, Tayla loses track of the twins thankfully everyone is SAFE. Plus, Tayla warns women about the reported GTA 6 “girlfriend mode,” where players can take a virtual partner shopping, buy her flowers and keep the relationship alive. Is having a girlfriend inside a video game actually cheating, or are people taking pixels on a screen far too seriously? The Montoyas attempt to settle the internet’s newest relationship debate. If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

*Join our Patreon* Sign up for a bonus episode each week and more, exclusive to paid subscribers. Plus massive news for Patreon subscribers, listen out in this weeks Patreon episode, you now have access to our hotline to leave us a message! Marcelo attends his nephew’s rugby union grand final expecting nothing more than a giant game of kick tennis. Instead, he leaves questioning everything he thought he knew about union and wishing he’d played it himself as a young fella. The Montoyas also debate whether children need to experience losing or if everyone should walk away with a participation award. A survey reveals the five things couples fight about most, and naturally, Tayla and Marcelo manage to tick off most of the list. This leads them back to their latest argument: whether Lebanese bread that’s been sitting in the fridge can still be called fresh. The disagreement ends with silent treatment, separate bedrooms and, somehow, one of the best nights they’ve both had in ages. Plus, the Montoyas discover an $800 toothbrush and have plenty of questions. For that price, it shouldn’t just clean Marcelo’s teeth—it should straighten them, build the family a new house and get the twins ready for school. Is it the future of dental care or has the world officially lost the plot? If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase.If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

*Join our Patreon* Sign up for a bonus episode each week and more, exclusive to paid subscribers. Plus massive news for Patreon subscribers, listen out in this weeks Patreon episode, you now have access to our hotline to leave us a message! Marcelo returns from his first wellbeing conference with plenty of new knowledge, no laptop and one very important question: why do the birds on Tangalooma Island sound like women screaming? He also nearly writes himself off on an ATV, proving once again that retirement hasn’t made him any less reckless. Tayla calls Marcelo out for his worst habit whenever he’s away: FaceTiming her late at night, then handing the phone to complete strangers while she’s braless, in her pyjamas and completely unprepared to meet his new best mates. The Montoyas unpack the AFL cheating scandal that has everyone talking. Should someone’s private life cost them a leadership role? Is cheating with your wife’s best friend ever just a “mistake”? And why are the two women receiving more attention than the man who was actually married? Plus, Tayla and Marcelo head back to school for a general knowledge showdown. With questions covering oceans, maths, planets and the human body, it quickly becomes clear the twins may need to find someone else to help with their homework. Also if your looking for a last minute fathers day present follow the link here for a special Budgy Smugglers X Montoyas collaboration: https://budgysmuggler.com.au/collections/the-montoyas If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase. If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: ⁠montoyas@bluewealth.com.au⁠

Marcelo has been keeping a BIG secret from Tayla for the last two weeks—and somehow she never noticed. After finishing his own shampoo, Marc started flogging Tayla’s bottle every single day until there was absolutely nothing left. The real twist? Tayla hasn’t washed her hair in two weeks, so she had no idea it was missing. Now she knows exactly how she’s getting him back… WATCH THIS SPACE. The Montoyas also break down their massive appearance on Kyle Sandilands’ new live show. Tayla finally met her radio hero and Marc noticed that she suddenly Tayla had no problem waiting around for her idol however watch out if it's anyone else! Plus, Tayla calls out Marcelo for taking complete control of the music whenever he drives and reflects on just how much his taste has changed since they first met. He’s gone from blasting Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” through the subwoofer in his Mitsubishi Lancer to knowing every popular country song under the sun. How times change. If you’ve got an overseas trip coming up, download Saily and use the code “Montoyas” at checkout to receive 15% off your first purchase. If you’ve been thinking about property investment but don’t know where to begin, contact the team at Blue Wealth Property: montoyas@bluewealth.com.au Subscribe to the channel and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode of The Montoyas. CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome to The Montoyas 10:32 We should get a pet studio fish 14:50 Tayla reviews Khloé Kardashian’s podcast 18:21 Marcelo’s wildly inappropriate playlist 27:00 Tayla finally meets Kyle Sandilands 37:54 Marcelo’s secret shampoo confession 42:53 Marcelo’s obsession with cars 48:15 What we're invested in this week 58:03 Tayla plans to invade Marce’s office 01:02:34 A throwback voicemail from and old school mate

The guys make their Morning TV debut on The Today Show as Marce tries to schmooze everyone he meets and finds out something interesting about 'the green room' Tay has a moment at Miranda Westfield which almost derails the weekend. The guys travel to the Northern Beaches to go on Matty and Cooper Johns' podcast, as Marcelo struggles to navigate getting home. Plus, this week we are invested in Travis Barker, all thanks to Blue Wealth Property. If you want to find out more about Blue Wealth Property email montoyas@bluewealth.com.au Download SAILY in your app store and use our code "Montoyas" at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to ⁠https://saily.com/montoyas

Marcelo had his first trip to the doctor since retirement and couldn't believe how many questions he needed to answer just for his pink eye. Tay has setup her own nail salon in the house much to Marcelo's displeasure. We trick Marcelo into thinking he has a gift at the viral '3 second timer' challenge. Plus, Ange Lombardi took on a shark and lived to tell the tale! If you want to find out more about Blue Wealth Property email montoyas@bluewealth.com.au Download SAILY in your app store and use our code "Montoyas" at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to ⁠https://saily.com/montoyas

It's been a tough week for the Montoyas. Marcelo has come back from his Melbourne trip with pink eye and Tay's had tonsillitis all week (who gets these things as adults?) They discuss dressing twins the same, crazy wedding reddit stories, and Marce's odd interaction with a Collingwood supporter. Plus, we have a brand new script reading thanks to one of our beautiful Patreon members! If you want to find out more about Blue Wealth Property email montoyas@bluewealth.com.auDownload SAILY in your app store and use our code "Montoyas" at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to ⁠https://saily.com/montoyas Go and checkout @thelaundryhaus_ on Instagram and send them some love and support! https://www.instagram.com/thelaundryhaus_/

The Farewell Tour is officially over. Marcelo's glistening NRL career came to an end last Saturday night, but it was his two daughters who seemed to steal the show..Now the big question is; how will Marce adapt to working in an office every day? Tay gives us a break down of all the Love Island lingo and what has been happening on the latest episodes, she reveals her recent spending at Kookai, and the big name guests she plans to have on for the next edition of 'couples couch'. Plus, a special announcement on our sold out hats!All this and more!If you want to find out more about Blue Wealth Property email montoyas@bluewealth.com.auDownload SAILY in your app store and use our code "montoyas" at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to ⁠https://saily.com/montoyas00:00 - Welcome01:30 - Retirement08:30 - First day of the new job24:00 - Bulldogs Warriors game30:00 - Kookai 36:00 - Gus Gould40:00 - Filling up with petrol44:00 - Tay and the gym47:00 - Merch announcement50:00 - What we are invested in: Love Island01:03:30 - Arseleaker hotline

After receiving a flood of DMs and comments following last week's episode, Tayla and Marcelo realised they'd done the one thing they never intended to do... offend their listeners. So this week, they issue a heartfelt public apology from the bottom of their hearts. Will they learn from their mistakes? Fingers Crossed. Will it last? Well... at least for this episode. Tayla also celebrated a huge milestone in the gym, hitting her very first PB. It turns out all she needed was a new gym buddy who actually knows what they're doing. After years of convincing herself she'd been training hard, Tayla has come to the shocking realisation that she may have just been turning up. As it happens, nothing brings out her competitive side quite like having an audience in every single aspect of her life. Plus, thanks to Blue Wealth Property, we finally reach the last few pages of An Empyrean Awakening . After weeks of twists, questionable acting, and Marcelo's ever-growing collection of accents, the masterpiece comes to an end. Tayla finally unveils an accent of her own, while Marcelo delivers a closing performance as "The Guru" that leaves the door wide open for a sequel. If you think Tayla should write another script—or you've got ideas for the next one—let us know in the comments. If you want to find out more about Blue Wealth Property email montoyas@bluewealth.com.auDownload SAILY in your app store and use our code "montoyas" at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to ⁠https://saily.com/montoyas

Before we even managed to hit record this week, Tayla somehow found herself in a battle with... a boulder. After one final mirror check before heading into the studio, she confidently flung open the door without looking and was immediately met with an almighty bang. Her only defence? "Just be grateful it wasn't a car." Safe to say, tensions were running high before the microphones were even switched on. Tayla also expanded her culinary repertoire this week by buying a slow cooker and whipping up a beef ragu that Marcelo rated a perfect 10/10. In what should have been a rare and wholesome moment, Marcelo finally gave Tayla a genuine compliment about her cooking. Unfortunately, it only lasted a few seconds before he pointed out that the only thing slower than the slow cooker... was Tayla herself. So close to a heartfelt moment. Plus, thanks to Blue Wealth Property, Tayla's high school script An Empyrean Awakening returns for another chapter. Marcelo dusts off his ever-growing collection of accents, unveils one he's been secretly practising, and somehow the script gets even more chaotic. And if all goes to plan, Tayla might finally give an accent a crack herself next week. If you want to find out more about Blue Wealth Property email montoyas@bluewealth.com.au Download SAILY in your app store and use our code "montoyas" at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/montoyas