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Published by Quinn Otrera
Ever wish you could hang out with a smart, funny, sexy divorced bff who could tell you how she does it all? Now you can! Join certified life coach Quinn Otrera each week as she spills the tea on everything from co-parenting with an angry ex to getting your sexy back to creating an intentional path for growth to getting a restraining order – not necessarily in that order. Buckle up, girlfriend! It’s time for your post-divorce glow-up!
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I share why I’m pausing this podcast at Episode 78 and shifting my focus toward women’s healthcare and midwifery. Then I close our Embodiment series by making “spiritual” practical: intuition in plain language, movement that feels safe, tiny rituals that actually fit real life, and a gentle seven-day plan to try right away. What I cover Why I’m pressing pause and where you’ll still find me (Britta Jo’s Stay or Go community and her Substack; occasional guest spots) What “spiritual” means to me (no dogma, high honesty, body-based presence, and wonder) The difference between spirituality and religion (authority, beliefs, practices, belonging) Four doorways into daily embodied spirituality: Intuition & “going into myself” Movement & breath (three-song practice) Creativity & voice (micro-writing / voice notes) Nature & awe (awe walks and everyday noticing) Nervous-system first: green/yellow/red as a guide for any practice The RITUAL framework (Rooted in safety • Intention • Tiny • Unique cue • Accountability • Loop it) Obstacles & repairs: loneliness, the inner critic, religious trauma—how I respond without abandoning myself What success actually looks like: softer shoulders, steadier breath, a faster return to “I’m okay,” clearer yes/no Seven-Day Micro-Plan (recap) Day 1 – Intuition Minute: two physiological sighs + one honest line (“What do I know right now?”) Day 2 – Movement Trio: Arrive → Loosen → Integrate (or one song if that’s all you’ve got) Day 3 – Awe Walk: notice one pattern, one color, one texture; end with one “thank you” Day 4 – Voice Note (5 min): what hurts / what feels good / where is my hope Day 5 – Tiny Altar: one comforting object placed with intention Day 6 – Co-Regulate: time with a safe person/pet; notice before/after Day 7 – Gain Review: what shifted 1% and what I want more of next week Mentions & references Invisible Labor by Rachel Sommerstein (C-sections and the stories around them) Elizabeth Gilbert’s weekly “Letters From Love” essays Stay or Go Community with Britta Jo and her Substack A gentle ask If this series helped you, share this episode with a friend who’s rebuilding after divorce. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn opens with a Halloween full-circle moment—house full of kids, step-siblings, laughter, candy—and pivots into the heart of Part 3: pleasure and boundaries as part of healing. We name common post-divorce patterns (fawn, freeze, “loneliness bargains”), ditch the shame, and use a simple order— Safety → Curiosity → Consent —before any touch (solo or partnered). You’ll learn quick downshifts, the stoplight check (Green/Yellow/Red), how to build a Yes/No/Maybe list (hello, kink jars), a gentle sensate ladder (pleasure over performance), real boundary micro-scripts, and a 7-day plan you can actually do. What You’ll Learn (pulled straight from the episode) Why “low libido” can be freeze (not a flaw) and why fawning in bed is a survival pattern—not a moral failing. The Safety → Curiosity → Consent sequence (and why the order matters). How to downshift in 90 seconds (physiological sigh ×2 + orienting). The Stoplight Rule (Green = go, Yellow = slow/check-in, Red = stop/repair). Building consent with yourself first (Body-Yes / Body-No). Creating a Yes/No/Maybe list (using “kink jar” style menus for clarity). The Sensate Ladder : non-sexual zones → torso/hips/thighs → optional sexual zones only if it’s Green . Aftercare basics: water, warmth, slow breaths, kind words—“Thank you, body.” Boundary Micro-Scripts (use verbatim) “I’m a yes to ___. I’m a no to ___. I’d like ___ instead.” “Pause—I need a breath check.” / “I’m yellow right now—slow down, please.” “No to that tonight; yes to cuddling and music.” Dating: “I don’t decide in the moment. I’ll text you tomorrow.” Sensate Ladder (practice, not performance) Days 1–3: Non-sexual zones only (hands, face, scalp, neck, shoulders, arms, calves, feet). Explore texture / temperature / pressure (silk, lotion, warm shower, etc.). Days 4–6: Torso, hips, thighs—linger and notice. Day 7: Optional sexual zones only if Green . Ask: “What makes this 1% more pleasurable?” 7-Day “Pleasure Without Pressure” Plan Build your Yes/No/Maybe list (context + touch). Body Compass with non-sexual touch (2 min). Sensate Ladder Step 1 (hands/forearms/feet). Boundary rehearsal —say your lines out loud. Sensory shower/lotion ritual (play with texture + temperature). Co-regulation date (friend, pet, nature); notice before/after. Aftercare ritual + journal: “What felt 1% safer/more alive this week?” Quotes You Heard “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” — Audre Lorde “You don’t earn pleasure by being good. Pleasure is a birthright.” — Quinn Related Episodes (mentioned) Ep 49 — Vitamin O: Get Yourself Off, Get Your Life Back Ep 34 — Pleasure Is Mine: Claiming Your Sensual Self Ep 30 — Strategies for Feeling Safe Post-Divorce Ep 24 — Understanding and Healing from Marital Rape Book Mentioned: No More Assholes: Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding the Real Man You're Looking For. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn unpacks how the nervous system asks one question all day— Am I safe? —and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn are wise survival patterns (not personal failures). You’ll learn fast, gentle regulation tools (physiological sigh, orienting, butterfly hug, vagal “voo”/humming), see them in action via pop-culture and literature examples, and leave with a 7-day plan to widen your window of tolerance. The aim: move from bracing for impact to breathing easier—then building a calmer, safer life you actually enjoy living in. What You’ll Learn Embodiment = biology: Your body is a home to be tended , not a problem to fix (Hillary McBride). Survival patterns are smart: Fight/flight/freeze/fawn kept you safe; now we teach your body new safety. Complete the stress cycle: Don’t power through—release (Levine): breathe, shake, sigh, settle. Co-regulation matters: Calm spreads person-to-person (think Ted Lasso ). Fast Practices (Try Today) Physiological sigh (20–30s): Inhale → tiny top-up inhale → long slow exhale (2–3x). Orienting (30–60s): Turn head, name 5 things you see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste. Butterfly hug (60s): Cross arms, alternate taps L/R while breathing slowly. Vagal “voo” or hum (45s): Inhale, long chest-vibrating “voo” (or hum) 2–3x. Pop Culture & Lit Mirrors Inside Out 2: Anxiety tries to control everything → name it, breathe, integrate (not exile). Ted Lasso: Panic softens via breath + safe people (co-regulation). The Bear: Unfinished cycles = alarms (tight jaw, shallow breath); the body keeps score. Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God : Janie’s embodied “yes/no” as sovereignty. Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”: “Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Mini Playbook for Divorced Life Text from ex detonates: 1 physiological sigh + orient; reply later from safety. First date freeze: Bathroom → butterfly hug 60s → decide from regulation. Co-parenting flare: Hand to heart + “voo” twice → This is my boundary. Lonely Saturday: 5-minute sensory walk → call a safe friend/pet time. 7-Day Nervous System Plan Morning (1 min): Physiological sigh ×3 or butterfly hug. Mid-day (30s): Orienting—name 5 things you see. Evening (2 min): Gentle shake-out + humming/“voo.” Connection (3 min): Text/call a safe friend or sit quietly with a pet. Boundary rep (one line): “I’ll need to think about that and get back to you.” Quotable “Our bodies are not problems to be solved; they are homes to be tended.” — Hillary McBride “Trauma isn’t in the event, it’s in the nervous system.” — inspired by Peter Levine “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” — Mary Oliver Resources Mentioned Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing) Deirdre Fay — Becoming Safely Embodied Content Note Mentions of religious conditioning, sexual coercion, panic/anxiety. Please go at the pace of safety and pause anytime. Call to Action If this helped you exhale, share it with a sister who needs a calmer nervous system and a softer Saturday night. Rate + review + subscribe so you won’t miss Part 3: Reclaiming Touch, Pleasure & Boundaries. Questions or resources? Email Quinn@postdivorceglowup.com PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn kicks off a month-long series on embodiment—the practice of living in your body with safety, honesty, and aliveness—especially after divorce. We explore why so many of us disconnect (hello, codependency, fawn, freeze, dissociation), why that was smart survival, and how to start coming home to yourself with gentle, doable steps. This is about belonging to you—not performing for anyone else. What You’ll Learn Embodiment 101: It’s awareness and presence—treating your body as your home , not a problem to fix. Why we disconnect: Trauma responses (fawn/freeze/flight), cultural conditioning, and the “read-the-room” life. Trauma in the body: “We can’t think our way out; the body needs to metabolize it.” A kinder story: Your nervous system wasn’t weak; it was wise. Now we help it feel safe. Three Gentle Practices (Try This Week) 60-second Grounding: Feel your feet, drop your shoulders, slow breath, whisper: “I’m here.” Journal Prompt: When do I feel most alive in my body? (Don’t overthink—notice.) One-Minute Presence: Choose a daily task (coffee, shower, walk) and do it with all five senses. Favorite Lines to Remember “Clear is kind.” — Brené Brown “Your body is not your enemy. She is your home, your compass, and your connection to the divine.” — Quinn Resources Mentioned Gabor Maté — The Myth of Normal Bessel van der Kolk — The Body Keeps the Score Hillary McBride — The Wisdom of Your Body Peter Levine — Waking the Tiger (Somatic Experiencing) The House of My Mother — memoir by Shari Franke (referenced in the episode) Content Note We touch on trauma, spiritual conditioning, sexual coercion, and medical ER anecdotes. Take breaks as needed; go at the pace of safety. Series Roadmap (What’s Coming) Part 2: The nervous system—reading your body’s language of safety & simple regulation tools. Part 3: Reclaiming touch, pleasure, and boundaries—sensuality without fear. Part 4: Embodiment as a spiritual practice—living grounded, intuitive, and fully alive. “Embodiment after divorce isn’t a makeover; it’s a homecoming. One breath, one heartbeat, one gentle moment at a time. #PostDivorceGlowUp #EmbodiedHealing” Call to Action If this episode helped you exhale, share it with a sister who’s ready to come home to herself. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn and Britta Jo sit down after Britta’s first Stay or Go retreat to explore what women are truly craving— real connection. From Brené Brown’s words—“we are neurobiologically hardwired for connection”—to stories of women finding sisterhood in the messy middle of divorce, this conversation dives into what happens when women finally stop trying to “do it all alone.” Together, they unpack: Why the absence of connection always leads to suffering—and what that really means. How patriarchal and capitalist systems have broken women’s bonds with one another—and how we’re rebuilding them. What healthy female community actually looks like (and how to find or create your own). The science behind social support—why we’re literally stronger when we have someone by our side. Lessons from the Stay or Go retreat: bunk beds, laughter, tears, and the magic of being seen, heard, and held by other women. Quinn and Britta reveal that connection isn’t about rescuing or fixing anyone—it’s about witnessing one another in truth. This episode is a love letter to sisterhood, softness, strength, and the healing web that holds us when we fall. 💬 Quote of the Episode: Connection is: "The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment, and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” — Brené Brown Listen if you’re: Craving depth, belonging, and community after divorce Wondering why independence alone doesn’t feel fulfilling Ready to build (or rebuild) meaningful female friendships A woman reclaiming her own way of knowing, healing, and rising Links: The Stay or Go Community Strong Ground by Brene Brown IG Reel (mentioned in the episode) PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
In this raw and electric episode, Quinn cracks open what it really means to live in the messy middle — that in-between season where you’ve left the old life but haven’t yet stepped fully into the new. You’ve filed the papers, moved out, maybe even bought new sheets… but somehow, you still feel stuck. This week, Quinn pulls together science, soul, and straight talk to show you that you’re not broken — you’re charging. 💥 In this episode: Why the middle feels like both everything and nothing is happening The action potential of the nervous system — and how it mirrors your emotional readiness for change How being “under your therapeutic threshold” (in hormones and healing) keeps you looping in self-doubt Why support, truth, and courage are the real voltage boosters What weightlifting and micro-tears can teach you about growth after divorce A no-BS reminder that you’re not a victim — you’re in training How to spot the safety lies keeping you comfortable but small And the key question: Where in your life are you just below threshold? This episode is a wake-up call wrapped in warmth — equal parts neuroscience, midlife hormones, and post-divorce tough love. 🎧 Listen if you’re: Separated, waiting for clarity, and craving momentum Tired of “doing all the things” but feeling no spark Ready to lift heavier — emotionally, spiritually, and maybe in the gym too PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
In this episode, Quinn cracks open Yuval Noah Harari’s Sapiens and shows how its central idea—that humans rule the world because we can create and share stories—directly applies to divorce. Marriage? A story. Divorce-as-failure? A story. Myths about women’s value, motherhood, and happiness? Stories. Quinn weaves history, Harari’s insights, and her own lived experience to reveal how deeply we’ve been shaped by cultural fictions—and how liberating it is to see them for what they are. Divorce doesn’t make you broken; it’s your personal Cognitive Revolution, your chance to rewrite the myth and live into your most beautiful life. What you’ll hear in this episode: Why marriage and divorce are cultural myths, not biological truths How the story of marriage has shifted across history—from property deals to love matches The myths divorced women are handed (and why they’re total BS) How to name, question, and rewrite the stories that are shaping your post-divorce life Why divorce is not failure—it’s evolution If it’s all just story, then babe—you get to write the next chapter. Links: Awake by Jen Hatmaker Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
In this week’s episode, I dive into An Immense World by Ed Yong and what it teaches us about life after divorce. Aristotle may have told us we only have five senses (he was wrong about that and about women), but neuroscience shows we actually have 20+ ways of perceiving the world. And here’s the magic: divorce is like being dropped into a brand-new sensory universe. The signals you relied on in marriage don’t apply anymore—you get to recalibrate, upregulate, and expand your perception of life. We’ll talk about: ✨ The hidden senses you didn’t know you had (like interoception and proprioception) ✨ Why boundaries are essential to avoid sensory overload after divorce ✨ How to listen to your inner compass and follow your true north ✨ Turning “stuck” moments into grounding, stabilizing ones ✨ Seeing divorce not as the end, but as a doorway into an immense life of awe, curiosity, and freedom Babe, your post-divorce life is bigger, brighter, and more expansive than you’ve been taught to believe. You are immense. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn gets real about estrangement: when a child requests no contact, how do you keep loving without self-erasure? In this intimate conversation, Quinn shares their experience with an adult son who cut contact in November 2023, the grief of “losing someone who’s still alive,” and the radical shift from controlling outcomes to controlling self : nervous system care, boundaries, honest self-inventory, and clean apologies grounded in Pete Walker’s framework. Key takeaways Two truths can coexist: “I can love you and block you.” Boundaries are love when they protect everyone’s nervous systems. Control the controllables: your home’s safety, your emotional regulation, your integrity, your consistency for the kids who are present. Own your part—without self-erasure: apologize for your missteps, not for your values (e.g., leaving a religion or a marriage). Clean apology framework (Pete Walker–style): Name the harm specifically → 2) Take full responsibility → 3) Express real empathy → 4) Offer repair → 5) Commit to change. No “but” in the apology. Anything after “but” deletes the apology. Grief is not a problem to fix. It’s a process to honor while you keep living a life you’re proud of. Pour love somewhere safe: if direct contact isn’t available, journal letters you may never send—offerings without hooks, guilt, or demands. Action steps Write a one-page self-inventory : “What I did,” “Impact it had,” “How I’ll do it differently now.” Draft one clean apology (even if unsent). Keep it under 150 words. Remove every “but.” Create a nervous system boundary plan : What messages/emails you’ll read, when you’ll pause, and who you’ll call for support. Start a love ledger (journal) for the estranged child—write monthly from a grounded state only. Build a present-kid ritual (weekly breakfast walk, game night, study date) to anchor the family you do have access to. Gentle reminder Estrangement is complex. Get therapy or group support if you can. Protect your safety. You don’t owe access to anyone who is actively harming you—even if you love them. CTA If this episode helped, share it with a mama in the thick of it. Rate/review to get this message to more post-divorce women. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn opens with a personal update on last week’s co-parenting conversation with Britta and why the extended chat now lives on Britta’s Substack. From there, Quinn digs into a hard question: How do we ethically glow up when Gaza, Sudan, Ukraine, ICE raids, creeping fascism, and inflation are part of daily life? Her answer: a glow-up ≠ vanity. It’s alignment. It’s choosing where to invest (time, money, energy) and where to divest (relationships, brands, beliefs, guilt) so your life becomes a living declaration of your values. Quinn shares practical examples—from food rescue and ER volunteering to “dance-party therapy” with her kids—plus historic and modern stories of women who glowed under pressure. The close is a rallying cry: You can’t do everything, but you can do something—and that something matters. Key Takeaways Glow-up = alignment. It’s not lashes and Pilates; it’s integrity, clarity, and courage. Invest intentionally: community care, ethical spending, practices that keep you strong (therapy, journaling, lifting, rest, prayer/meditation, movement). Divest strategically: from draining relationships, exploitative brands, misaligned dating, and the guilt of “not doing enough.” One for me, one for we: each day, do one thing that resources you and one thing that serves your community. Your portfolio can change. What you invest/divest in will shift with seasons, capacity, and callings. Mini-Guide: Invest & Divest Checklist Invest Mutual aid / local volunteering (food rescue, shelters, community fridges) Showing up (school board meetings, public comment, court support) Women-/BIPOC-/locally-owned businesses Nervous-system care (therapy, journaling, lifting, nature, sleep) Connection & joy (weekly dance party with the kids, friend dates) Divest Relationships that chronically disrespect boundaries Brands that profit from exploitation or environmental harm Conversations/partners misaligned with core values Doomscrolling that drains action Guilt for not doing everything Practical Prompts (Journal or Voice Note) Values audit: What 3 words define my current season? Spending scan: Which 2 merchants this month reflect my values? Which 1 doesn’t? Time audit: What will I lovingly say no to this week to make room for a deeper yes ? Daily duet: What’s one thing for me today? What’s one thing for we ? Resources & Links Britta’s Substack episode (full co-parenting conversation): HERE or listen to the first 15 mintues HERE Find a local food rescue / mutual aid : search “[your city] + food rescue,” “[your city] + mutual aid” ER/hospital volunteer programs : check your local hospital’s website under “Volunteer Services” Try This This Week 5-minute money check: Move one recurring purchase to a local or values-aligned option. Text two friends: “Volunteering Saturday 8–10am—want to come?” 30-minute joy move: Solo dance party or walk—notice how your body wants to move. One email of courage: Decline a misaligned commitment without over-explaining. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Quinn and Britta dive into one of the most gut-wrenching challenges women face when considering or navigating divorce: the “agony” of 50/50 custody. How do you cope with the heartbreak of being away from your kids— even if your co-parent is safe and trustworthy? And what if you’re the one who has always been the anchor parent, the one who knows the bedtime routine, the favorite snacks, the little cues no one else sees? 💔 In this episode, we talk about: The grief and fear of losing time with your children The cultural and biological narratives that feed “mom guilt” The difference between maternal attachment and children’s evolutionary drive to attach How patriarchy and capitalism have shaped the idea that mothers must always be present Boots-on-the-ground strategies: goodbye rituals, quality time over quantity, and re-regulation practices How to reframe your child’s time away as a chance for their independence and resilience to grow Quinn and Britta share their radically different backgrounds in motherhood—one the eldest of eight, parentified from childhood, the other the eighth of ten, with a more hands-off upbringing—and how those frameworks shaped their parenting styles, their divorce experiences, and the way they handle custody today. ✨ Key takeaways: Your child’s foundation of safety doesn’t disappear when they’re away from you. Nervous system regulation (yours, not your child’s!) is essential. Time apart can teach kids resourcefulness, adaptability, and trust in multiple safe adults. Modeling courage and emotional adulthood is more powerful than clinging to control. This is Part One of the conversation. Next week, in Part Two, Quinn shares her lived experience of co-parenting with someone she doesn’t trust—a very different scenario with very different challenges. 👉 Subscribe to Britta Jo’s Substack for next week's full uncut conversations: https://stayorgo.substack.com/ PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
What if the things you think you’re “bad at” aren’t flaws, but simply skills you haven’t practiced yet ? This week’s episode is about stripping away the shame and drama around struggle and seeing it for what it is: a skill you can learn. I share a moment with my health coach that completely shifted my perspective—when she told me that eating three meals a day instead of snacking was “just a skill.” Those three little words took the heaviness out of the struggle and opened the door to an entire framework for the post-divorce glow-up. Together, we’ll explore: Why reframing struggles as skills changes everything Dating as a skill (from profiles to boundaries to spark) Money as a skill (budgeting, investing, and yes—fat bank accounts are sexy) Parenting as a skill (it’s not you, it’s just practice) Strength and health as skills (lifting, eating, sleeping—learnable) Making new friends and building a support network (awkward at first, then easier with reps) How to release shame and practice your way into a life you love Your glow-up isn’t about perfection or innate talent. It’s about repetition, practice, and compassion. So the next time you think you’re failing? Remember this: you’re not failing—you’re practicing. And your glow-up is just a skillset away. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Too many women wear divorce like a scarlet letter — a permanent label that defines their worth, parenting, relationships, and future. In this episode, Quinn shares how she refuses to let divorce define her life and instead uses it as fuel to expand into new possibilities, like going back to school and building a bigger, bolder life than ever before. We’ll explore: Why “divorced” is not your permanent identity — and why you don’t owe anyone that box on a form. How divorce can make you a better parent, not a worse one. The surprising way divorce elevates your self-worth and helps you discover who you truly are. How post-divorce relationships can become the healthiest and most passionate of your life. Why resisting your big life costs more energy than building it. Why divorce is not a scarlet letter, but a badge of courage and freedom. Quinn reminds you that divorce isn’t the end — it’s a catalyst. A chance to write the juiciest next chapters of your life. This is not about survival. It’s about expansion, courage, and unapologetic joy. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
This week’s episode is a love letter to one of the riskiest, most liberating beliefs I’ve ever adopted: It is safe to rely on the generosity and honesty of strangers. I’m sharing the story of how buying a quirky little car on eBay completely rewired how I move through life as a divorced woman, single parent, and human navigating the daily grind. We’ll talk about: How divorce and betrayal shrink your “trust radius” Why suspicion feels safe but is actually a prison What Diana Chapman’s world as an ally philosophy has to do with your ex-husband The nervous system’s role in rebuilding trust (and why your body has to go first) “Trust push-ups”: small, safe ways to start letting people in The surprising science behind why letting others help you is a gift to them How to hold both trust and strong boundaries without apology You’ll also hear how I’ve reframed my ex as one of my greatest teachers, why I keep choosing to extend the benefit of the doubt, and how this belief has made me lighter, freer, and more powerful in my own life. Your challenge this week: spot three moments a day when someone offers you help, kindness, or honesty—and see how it feels to let the world prove you right. Because trusting strangers isn’t about being naïve. It’s about deciding you’re strong enough to handle whatever comes… and opening your life to a whole lot more good in the process. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Divorce may be the end of a marriage, but it’s not the end of your becoming. In this episode, Quinn gets personal and powerful about what it’s like to go back to school in your 50s, what it means to reinvent your career and identity post-divorce, and why the idea that you’re “too old” or “too late” is a damn lie. From brain science to time management, from limiting beliefs to midlife clarity—this episode is a love letter to every woman who’s felt the spark to try something new but shut herself down with fear or shame. If you've ever thought, "Who am I to go back to school now?" —this one's for you. In this episode, Quinn shares: Why divorce is both tragedy and transformation—and how you get to choose how to use it The truth about adult neuroplasticity and how learning protects your mental health Personal stories of post-divorce reinvention (including her own!) Powerful resources to learn how to learn, including Barbara Oakley’s course and book recs Encouragement to start small and take just one step A rally cry to trust your timing, your brain, and your badass self Resources Mentioned: Learning How to Learn – Barbara Oakley (Coursera) Mindshift and A Mind for Numbers by Barbara Oakley Feel Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal Ali Abdaal’s YouTube Channel The Learning Scientists Flashcard apps: Anki and Quizlet Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning by Peter C. Brown Notion study templates (if you’re techy like that) Connect with Quinn: Got a spark you’re ready to follow? Want to talk about going back to school or making a big life pivot? 💌 Email Quinn at quinn@postdivorceglowup.com PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
We’re diving into the real reason you feel stuck—and it’s not your ex, your job, or your dating life. It’s the story your brain is telling you on repeat. Quinn shares a deeply personal moment with her ex-husband that triggered a cascade of thoughts… and how she used it as a powerful teaching moment. You'll learn how your brain is wired to protect you—not empower you—and what to do about it. This episode will show you how to: Tell the difference between facts and the story your brain is spinning Recognize when your brain is being a lazy little liar Spot and interrupt confirmation bias (aka the Inner Mean Girl) Practice new, bold beliefs (even before you feel ready) Sit with discomfort and still move forward Steal confidence from one part of your life and use it somewhere scary If you've ever wondered, "What if I'm just being delusional?" — this episode is your permission slip to believe the wild, juicy, freedom-filled version of your story. In this episode, you’ll hear about: [01:20] A tense moment with her ex—and why it’s not the facts that matter [07:40] How your brain filters reality like a shady Instagram lens [12:10] What pattern-seeking has to do with trauma and safety [19:45] Why your brain would rather be right than happy [25:00] The mental friction of believing something new (and why it’s worth it) [30:30] Two practical tools to rewire your beliefs [35:00] A loving kick in the ass for anyone afraid of “being wrong” PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “I’ll finally be okay when he apologizes.” “I’ll feel whole when I meet the right person.” “I just need closure…” That, my friend, is what we call a healing fantasy —and this week’s episode is all about busting that myth wide open. In this raw and revealing solo episode, Quinn explores the healing fantasy trap so many of us fall into post-divorce. Through personal stories, client breakthroughs, and the wisdom of thought leaders like Byron Katie , Eckhart Tolle , and Brené Brown , you'll uncover why waiting for external validation, rescue, or resolution delays your true healing. Quinn walks you through how to step out of the fantasy and into your real power—right here, right now. In this episode, we explore: 💔 What the "healing fantasy" is and why it keeps you stuck 🔄 How we unconsciously delay our healing by waiting for someone else to change 🧠 The real reason your ex’s apology wouldn’t actually change anything 🪞 Why The Notebook is a dangerous lie—and Eat Pray Love is your new truth 🧘🏽♀️ Three practices to reclaim your present power: presence, vulnerability, and courage 💪 A five-step framework to begin healing right now 🎯 Client stories that show the difference between fantasy and true transformation Power Quotes from the Episode: “The healing fantasy is putting your happiness on layaway—hoping someone else will come along and pay it off. But the only person who can claim it is you.” “You don’t heal when your life gets easy. You heal when you do the hard things and stay soft anyway.” “If you’ve been waiting for someone to come rescue you, go to the mirror. That’s the face of your rescuer.” Listener Challenge: What’s your healing fantasy? Where are you waiting for something outside of you to fix something inside ? This week, call it out—and take one brave action to shift back into the present. Mentioned in this Episode: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Loving What Is by Byron Katie The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks The quote by Mel Robbins: “No one is coming.” Connect with Quinn: 💌 Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
“Straight people, are you okay?” In part two of our electric conversation about The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward, Britta and Quinn leave behind history class and drop into the raw, personal reality of living inside a system not built for emotional or erotic fulfillment—especially for women. 💔 We go there : What it feels like to be in a marriage that deadens desire and gaslights your truth The silent epidemic of women waking up every day thinking, “I wish I was dead” Sex as performance vs. sex as presence—and how to tell the difference Why even “good guys” can’t save you from a bad system The double-bind of men and how patriarchy imprisons them too What straight women can learn from queer wisdom, radical community, and conscious pleasure 🎤 We confess : The rage, numbness, and exhaustion that haunted us before our glow-ups How our Mormon trad-wife pasts trained us to uphold patriarchy What finally woke us up—and how coaching, queerness, and community saved us 🌈 We offer : Four exit ramps from the tragedy of heterosexuality A new vision for relationships rooted in truth, consent, creativity, and community The hope that another way isn’t just possible—it’s already happening If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Is this it?”—this episode is your full-body YES to more. PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
In this spicy, eye-opening episode, Quinn and Britta take a wild ride through the history and heartbreak of heterosexuality —inspired by Jane Ward’s brilliant book, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality . They explore: 🕰️ The surprising history of how romantic heterosexual love was never the default —and how the invention of modern marriage was more about control than connection. 🧠 The role of patriarchy and capitalism in shaping straight relationships into something that often feels unsatisfying, especially for women. 💔 Why straight women often feel unseen, overworked, and under-loved —and why this isn’t a personal failure but a systemic issue. 💡 The internalized misogyny and benevolent sexism that still show up in modern dating and marriage. 🔥 Real talk from two besties about the absurdity of relationships with straight men and why some women are saying, “I’m good, thanks.” Plus: Stoic wisdom, messy laughter, personal stories, and truth bombs about the straight struggle. This one’s for our divorced divas , hetero skeptics , and anyone who’s ever asked: Is this really what love is supposed to feel like? PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
It’s not magic. It’s muscle memory. Quinn returns this week with a powerful message: your glow-up isn’t built in the moments of clarity—it’s built in the reps. Drawing from personal stories (including cult recovery, parenting nine kids, and coaching women post-divorce), they share how practicing calm, boundaries, and new emotional habits is the key to becoming who you really want to be. In this episode: The science + stoicism behind “we don’t rise to our expectations, we fall to our training” What Beyoncé, Serena Williams, and your post-divorce life have in common How Quinn learned to be a calm parent after 12 years of yelling What emotional habits you’re unconsciously rehearsing How to teach kids to regulate and how to practice asking for what you want in love Powerful practices for boundary-setting, nervous system healing, and changing your self-concept You’ll also get a weekly challenge to train for the version of you who thrives. Quote of the episode: “If you wait until you’re in the fire to learn how to breathe, you’re gonna burn.” PostDivorceGlowUp.com Email: quinn@postdivorceglowup.com
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