A podcast for anyone healing from complex PTSD, childhood emotional neglect, and the patterns you've been carrying without knowing what to call them. Hosted by EMDR and somatic trauma therapist Sarah Herstich, each episode gets into nervous system healing, trauma responses, and what it actually takes to stop living in survival mode. If you've spent years people-pleasing, apologizing for existing, or holding it together on the outside while unraveling on the inside, this is for you. We talk about the fawn response, toxic shame, hypervigilance, and why your body still doesn't feel safe even when nothing bad is happening. No bypassing, no Band-Aids, just honest conversation about healing from complex trauma and getting your life back. Whether you're just figuring out what CPTSD is or you've been in therapy for years, you'll find nervous system education, somatic practices, and someone who actually understands what you're going through. New episodes every Wednesday.
The Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents with Lindsay Gibson
What is the real impact of growing up with emotionally immature parents? Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of the bestselling Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents , joins the show to explain what it costs a child over decades, and how to parent differently. In this conversation, we get into: What actually makes a parent emotionally immature Why the love can be real and the harm can be real at the same time What this can cost a child over years, including a shaken sense of trust in their own perception of reality What a healthy relationship with an emotionally immature parent can look like in adulthood The fear so many carry, that we'll become our parents, and why Lindsay says that fear itself might be a good sign The four essential jobs of parenting: protection, nurturance, guidance, and limits Her seven parental mindsets for maturity, and the chapter she calls The Absolutes Dr. Gibson's new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child , is out now. Order a copy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble Find her at lindsaycgibson.com and on Instagram @dr.lindsaygibson . Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Why You Don't Know Who You Are After Complex Trauma
If you've ever caught yourself wondering who you actually are underneath the anxiety, the people pleasing, or the version of you that shows up to keep everyone else comfortable, this episode is for you. I break down what a sense of self actually is, why complex trauma gets in the way of building one, and what it looks like to start forming it now, as an adult. That means looking at three capacities trauma tends to disrupt: knowing yourself, expressing yourself, and experiencing yourself, and a few grounded, body-based ways to start reconnecting with each one. In this episode: What a sense of self actually is, and why it's built through experience, not something you're born with fully formed Why survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawning aren't fixed personality traits, they're predictions your nervous system learned to keep you safe The three capacities complex trauma most often disrupts: knowing yourself, expressing yourself, and experiencing yourself Why healing this is often less about finding yourself and more about forming yourself Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
When Perfectionism Takes the Joy Out of the Things You Love
Sometimes a hobby amplifies whatever relationship your nervous system has with uncertainty. If you've ever found yourself staring at a blank page, putting off a creative project, or feeling tense doing something that's supposed to be relaxing, this episode is for you. Today we're exploring why perfectionism can turn creativity into a performance, how complex trauma changes our relationship with uncertainty, and why your hobbies may feel more like a test than a source of joy. We'll talk about the connection between self-worth and perfectionism, predictive processing, why healing in relationships doesn't always translate to creative expression, and gentle somatic practices to help your nervous system reconnect with curiosity and play. Whether your "painting" is art, writing, dancing, cooking, starting a business, or trying something new, this episode will help you understand why perfectionism runs much deeper than wanting to get it right. It might just be your nervous system trying to make sure you still belong. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Somatic Therapy 101: The Nervous System Basics Behind Trauma Healing
If you've ever wondered why insight alone hasn't been enough to heal your trauma, this episode is your answer. We're going all the way back to fundamentals with a real somatic therapy 101, covering what somatic therapy actually is, how the nervous system holds onto trauma, and why healing from CPTSD requires more than just understanding your story. In this episode, we cover: Why trauma is a biological response, not just a psychological one (and what that means for your healing) The actual definition of somatic therapy, and the myths the internet keeps getting wrong A quick look at nervous system states: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal, and why they matter for complex trauma specifically What your window of tolerance is, and why it can narrow over time Titration and pendulation: how somatic therapists help your body approach painful material safely How parts work (Internal Family Systems) connects directly to your nervous system states Why EMDR is a somatic therapy, not just "the eye movement thing" A nuanced conversation about The Body Keeps the Score and where current research agrees and pushes back Whether you're a trauma survivor trying to understand your own healing, or a fellow therapist looking for a clear, clinically grounded refresher, this episode is built to meet you where you are. Mentioned in this episode: Fawning as a Trauma Response episode Inner Child Healing and Reparenting episode Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Why Your Nervous System Craves Certainty (And Why It Looks Like Control)
Ever been called controlling? Too rigid? Too much? On today's episode I breaks down why it was maybe never about control. Your nervous system has maybe been trying to answer one question this whole time: am I safe? This episode covers the real reason behind reassurance seeking, perfectionism, hypervigilance, overthinking, and food rules, and why none of it is a character flaw. Using research on predictive processing and a concept called precision weighting from EMDR therapist Thomas Zimmerman, Sarah explains why your brain keeps choosing the old danger prediction even when you're safe right now. And why understanding alone won't change it. In this episode: Why control was never the real issue What your body's been telling you Why reassurance works for five minutes and then stops What precision weighting is and why it matters What healing actually requires instead Listen to Thomas Zimmerman's episode on The Beauty and the Work of Complex Trauma here Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Emotional Flashbacks in Complex Trauma Explained
Emotional flashbacks are one of the most common and most misunderstood experiences in complex trauma. Unlike visual flashbacks, they don't come with images or a clear memory. They arrive as intense feelings, shame, fear, loneliness, helplessness, often with no story attached and no warning. In this episode, Sarah breaks down what emotional flashbacks actually are. You'll learn why insight alone doesn't change the nervous system's predictions, what's happening in your body when each survival part gets activated, and what healing actually requires at the level of the body. In this episode: What emotional flashbacks are and why they're so hard to catch How implicit memory keeps the past alive in the present The four Fs and how each survival part feels in the body Why understanding your trauma isn't the same as healing it What ideal caregiver work looks like in trauma therapy A simple practice for when the wave hits Resources mentioned: Emotionally Corrective Experiences episode Understanding Dissociative Parts with Dr. Janina Fisher Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Complex Trauma and the Belief That You're a Burden
Do you feel guilty every time you need something, even from people who love you? Do you find it easy to show up for everyone else but nearly impossible to let someone show up for you? If so, this episode is for you. In episode 135, I explore the belief that you are a burden. Not as a passing thought, but as a felt sense in the body that gets activated the moment you need something from another person. I break down where this pattern might come from developmentally, how it shows up differently across attachment styles, and why receiving care can feel more threatening than giving it. I also cover the body-based signature of shame, why you might not reach out until things are really bad, and how to start telling the difference between what you actually feel and what's actually true. If you've ever deleted a text asking for help, felt sick after reaching out, or wondered whether you're actually a burden or just convinced you are, this one's going to hit close to home. In this episode: The developmental roots of feeling like a burden Why giving feels safe and receiving feels threatening How attachment tendencies shape the way this shows up for you The body's role in shame and why connection sometimes can't get in A reflection and a small practice to try this week Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Why Complex Trauma Survivors Struggle to Believe Themselves
Many complex trauma survivors struggle to trust their memories, emotions, perceptions, and reactions. In this episode, we're exploring why being disbelieved can feel so painful, how emotional neglect and attachment wounds can teach us to question ourselves, and why trauma often leaves us with fragments of memory instead of a clear narrative. We discuss: • Why not being believed can feel abandoning • How self-doubt becomes a survival strategy • Trauma memory and fragmentation • Why emotional neglect can be difficult to identify • The connection between CPTSD, self-trust, and attachment • How to begin rebuilding trust in yourself Whether you struggle with childhood emotional neglect, emotionally immature parents, dissociation, hypervigilance, people pleasing, perfectionism, or chronic self-doubt, this episode will help you understand why trusting yourself can feel so difficult, and how healing begins. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Why Emotional Loneliness Runs So Deep in Complex Trauma
Emotional loneliness is one of the most common and least talked about experiences in complex trauma recovery. It's not about the number of people in your life. It's about whether your nervous system has learned to let them in. And for a lot of survivors, it hasn't. Not because something is permanently wrong with you, but because your nervous system learned some very specific things about connection a long time ago. In this episode, I break down some of the neuroscience and nervous system mechanics behind emotional loneliness in CPTSD, why it runs so much deeper than social isolation, and what actually helps. In this episode: Why emotional loneliness and social isolation are not the same thing, and why adding more people to your life won't fix the second one The push-pull cycle so many survivors live in, desperately wanting connection and pulling back the moment someone gets close How emotional neglect specifically creates a loneliness that's hard to name because the wound is in what didn't happen, not what did Why hyperindependence is often a nervous system adaptation, not a personality trait The role of the HPA axis and oxytocin in why connection can feel physically threatening even when you want it How shame creates concealment, and how concealment sustains loneliness in a cycle that's hard to break What dissociation and hypervigilance have to do with why connection doesn't land even when it's right in front of you Why healing often makes loneliness feel worse before it gets better, and what that actually means What capacity building looks like when the goal is learning to receive connection, not just find it Resources that might support you: Episode 126: The Inner Critic with Emily Pagone Episode 127: Attunement and Rupture in the Clinical Relationship with Katie Fries Episode 128: Fawning as a Trauma Response Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
What CPTSD Does to Your Sleep and Why Nothing Else Has Worked
Sleep is one of the most common struggles in the CPTSD community, and one of the least understood. If you've tried the routines, the supplements, the magnesium, the blue light glasses, and you're still lying awake at midnight or waking up at 3am feeling like something is wrong, this episode is for you. Today I break down why sleep is uniquely hard when you have complex trauma, what's actually happening in your nervous system at night, and what might actually help. In this episode: Why sleep requires felt safety and why that's so hard with CPTSD The two ends of the sleep struggle spectrum: can't fall asleep vs. sleeps but never feels rested Hypervigilance at night and why the quiet, dark room can become the trigger Nightmares as attempted processing and what's actually getting in the way The IFS lens: the protectors, managers, and exiles running the show at night Why parts work is nervous system work Sleep hygiene that actually makes sense for a dysregulated nervous system Somatic tools to try before bed and when you wake up at 3am References: Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Norton. Balban, M. Y., Neri, E., Kogon, M. M., Weed, L., Nourski, B., Picard, M., ... & Huberman, A. D. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine, 4 (1). Southwick, S. M., Bremner, J. D., Rasmusson, A., Morgan, C. A., Arnsten, A., & Charney, D. S. (1999). Role of norepinephrine in the pathophysiology and treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder. Biological Psychiatry, 46 (9), 1192–1204. Yehuda, R. (2002). Post-traumatic stress disorder. New England Journal of Medicine, 346 (2), 108–114. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
What Inner Child Healing and Reparenting Actually Looks Like
Inner child healing isn't easy work. For people living with complex trauma, it can be one of the most neurobiologically specific processes in trauma recovery. And the version most people have been handed doesn't come close to touching it. In this episode we get into what inner child healing actually is, what the young part is really doing in your nervous system, and what reparenting actually looks like and what might get in the way. In this episode: Why the inner child wound shows up as exhaustion, automatic accommodation, and disconnection from your own needs more often than it shows up as a recognizable emotional reaction What emotional flashbacks are and why the inner critic is often the young part's most audible signal The difference between toxic shame and regular shame, and why that distinction matters for healing Why insight dissolves after therapy sessions and what's actually happening when the healing doesn't land What reparenting actually is at the neurological level, including the grief piece that most content skips entirely Four body-based practices for building a real relationship with the young part of you that never got what it needed If your nervous system is chronically dysregulated and you want somewhere to start, grab the free Dysregulation SOS Toolkit here. It's a practical, body-based resource for getting out of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn in real time. Clinical frameworks referenced in this episode include Janina Fisher's structural dissociation model, Internal Family Systems, and Pete Walker's work on complex PTSD and emotional flashbacks. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Corrective Emotional Experiences After Childhood Emotional Neglect
You've done the work. You've been in therapy, read the books, and you can name what happened to you. So why doesn't it feel like enough? That gap between understanding your story and actually feeling different in your body has a reason. And it's not because you haven't tried hard enough. It's because childhood emotional neglect creates a very specific kind of wound that requires a very specific kind of repair. In this episode we're going past the recognition and getting into what that repair actually looks like and how to start creating it in your real life. In this episode we cover: What implicit emotional learnings are and how to recognize the ones that may still be running in the background of your relationships Why insight alone often doesn't move them and what the brain actually needs instead The three step sequence that allows the brain to revise an old emotional learning at its root Why CEN survivors often have no discrete memory to target and how the implicit learning tends to surface instead How corrective experiences can happen in therapy through co-regulation, rupture and repair, EMDR, and somatic work How they can also happen outside of therapy in your relationships, your body, and your daily life What interoception is and why rebuilding it is a core part of this work How to start recognizing a corrective experience when it's happening because it often doesn't feel the way you might expect What hyperindependence has to do with all of this Why animals, nature, and routine can be legitimate corrective experiences for people who feel isolated right now What earned secure attachment is and what the research suggests about getting there What tends to get in the way, including shame, and what active receiving looks like in practice Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
CPTSD and the Stack of Diagnoses Nobody Connects
If you've been diagnosed with more than one thing, and it feels like every provider is treating each piece in isolation, this episode is for you. Complex PTSD doesn't just show up as one condition. For many people, CPTSD symptoms include a stack of co-occurring diagnoses that are deeply connected at the nervous system level but rarely treated that way. In this episode, I break down exactly what might be happening underneath seven of the most common conditions that show up alongside complex trauma, and why understanding the connection changes everything about how healing can work. In this episode you'll learn: What the window of tolerance is and how complex PTSD shrinks or collapses it The faux window of tolerance: the nervous system concept that explains why behaviors like restriction, compulsions, and substance use are so hard to give up A quick nervous system primer covering sympathetic activation, dorsal vagal shutdown, and the vagus nerve How CPTSD and eating disorders are connected at the nervous system level, including restriction, bingeing, and purging The research-backed link between complex trauma and OCD, including a documented posttraumatic subtype Why substance use, workaholism, chronic pain, dissociation, and emotional dysregulation are all nervous system adaptations in people with complex PTSD Why treating these complex PTSD symptoms in isolation so often stalls, and what integrated trauma-informed treatment actually looks and feels like The three phases of healing: stabilization, the thaw, and integration Whether you're early in understanding your CPTSD symptoms or years into treatment and still feeling like something is missing, this episode offers a framework that finally puts all the pieces in the same room. Free Resource: Dysregulation Toolkit for CPTSD Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
It's Not People-Pleasing, It's Fawning
If you've spent your life being told you're "too nice," "a people-pleaser," or that you just need to "set better boundaries," this episode is for you. Fawning is the fourth trauma response, and for most folks with complex PTSD, it's been... a thing... for decades. In this episode, Sarah unpacks what fawning actually is (hint: it's not a personality flaw), how it gets built in childhood, what it can feel like in the body, and three small experiments to begin the work of coming home to yourself. This is one of the most requested topics on The Complex Trauma Podcast. Sarah brings together the foundational work of Pete Walker, current research on complex trauma and emotional neglect, parts work and structural dissociation from Janina Fisher, polyvagal theory, and somatic experiencing into one conversation about why so many of us learned to disappear into other people, and how we begin to find our way back. In this episode, you'll learn: The difference between fawning and people-pleasing, and why the distinction matters for healing How fawning develops as a brilliant survival adaptation in childhood, often before you have language to remember it Why the latest research shows emotional neglect is the strongest predictor of complex PTSD Seven somatic markers of fawning, including the rehearsing, the scanning, the voice change, and the disappearance How blended states (sympathetic activation plus dorsal shutdown) explain why fawning leaves you exhausted and wired at the same time The reframe that changes everything: you are not a fawner. You have parts of you that fawn. Three small, sticky experiments you can try this week: The Body Audit, The 1% Honest Answer, and The Tiny No Why titration (slow, tiny, repeated) is the only way trauma responses actually unwind Mentioned in this episode: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker Fawning by Dr. Ingrid Clayton Embracing our Fragmented Selves by Janina Fisher Waking the Tiger and In an Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine The CDC-Kaiser ACE Study Why Regulation Feels So Hard with CPTSD (previous episode) Sarah's conversation with Janina Fisher (previous episode) Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
When Being Seen Can Feel Unsafe in Therapy for CPTSD with Katie Fries
If you've ever sat in your therapist's office and thought "I sort of just want you to take care of me" and then felt embarrassed for even thinking it, this episode is for you. Listener Laurie wrote in after the "I Finally Stopped Shrinking" episode asking why being truly seen by a therapist can feel so activating, why grounding doesn't always hit the way her therapist intends it to, and why part of her just wants her therapist to show up more parentally even though she knows that's not the answer. We took her question and ran with it. Today I'm joined by Katie Fries, LCSW, RPT, founder of All of You Therapy in Philadelphia, to talk about what's actually happening in the nervous system when the therapy relationship itself becomes the source of activation, and why that's not a sign something is wrong with you. In this episode we cover: Why wanting your therapist to parent you is not pathology, it's your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do Why being truly seen can trigger a threat response for people with complex trauma When grounding can actually widen a rupture instead of helping What needs to happen before any regulation tool can land What co-regulation really looks like in the therapy room Why the therapist's own nervous system regulation matters more than most people realize What relational repair actually looks like in practice How to bring a rupture into the room even when it feels terrifying How to know if this is a healing edge or a therapist fit issue About Katie Fries: Katie Fries, MSW, LCSW, RPT is the founder of All of You Therapy, a group therapy practice in Center City Philadelphia serving clients throughout Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Katie works from a relational, body-oriented, experiential lens with a deep specialization in early relational trauma, attachment, and parent-child relationships. She is trained in AEDP, IFS, Gestalt, Theraplay, EMDR, and Psychedelic Somatic Interactional Psychotherapy among many others. Katie also offers clinical and business consultation. Learn more about her therapy practice: allofyoutherapy.net For theraists looking for consultation: katiefries.com Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
The Inner Critic, IFS, and Complex Trauma with Emily Pagone
If you've ever wondered why the harshest voice in your head won't quiet down, this episode might help you reframe the why's behind it. This week I sits down with Emily Pagone, LCPC, founder of Authentic Growth Wellness Group and host of The Inner Critic Podcast. Emily specializes in IFS therapy, EMDR, and somatic approaches with a particular focus on complex trauma and neurodivergent trauma recovery. We talk about what the inner critic actually is through an IFS lens, why it developed, and why trying to silence it usually backfires. We get honest about our neurodivergent nervous systems, masking, and the shame that builds when your brain was never really understood growing up. If parts work is new to you, this is a great place to start. If you've been in it for a while, there's still something here. Find Emily at the Inner Critic Podcast on Apple and Spotify, and on Instagram at Emily @emilypagone . Learn more about her therapy practice, Authentic Growth Wellness Group here. Listen to The Inner Critic Podcast on Apple Podcasts Listen to The Inner Critic Podcast on Spotify Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
I Finally Stopped Shrinking… and Still Got Hurt
You did the work. You stopped shrinking. You let someone in. And it still ended with you feeling invisible. So what do you do with that? In this episode I'm responding to a message from a listener going through a divorce. She didn't shrink. She showed up fully. And it still ended in abandonment. Her question was simple and devastating: how do you reconcile that? And, how do you ever trust again? On today's episode I get into why adult relationships can reopen old wounds rather than heal them, what your nervous system is actually doing when someone starts pulling away, the difference between a trigger and a real present wound, and what rebuilding trust actually looks like from the inside out. This one is for anyone who thought they'd finally broken the pattern only to find themselves right back in the wound. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Complex Trauma, Motherhood, and Cycle Breaking with Libby Ward
In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Libby Ward, creator, speaker, and author of Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself , to talk about what it really looks like to wake up mid-motherhood and realize you never actually knew yourself to begin with. Not because motherhood took you away from yourself, but because trauma did that long before your kids ever showed up. We talk about the overfunctioning, the perfectionism, the hypervigilance disgused up as "being a good mom," and the moment Libby hit a wall in her car on an ordinary morning that changed everything. We also get into repair, the grief that comes with cycle breaking, and why loving your kids, while beautiful, is not actually enough on its own. This one is raw, honest, and so worth your time. In this episode we cover: How Libby recognized her childhood trauma well into motherhood The nervous system reality behind why "just calm down" isn't a real option Overfunctioning and perfectionism as trauma responses The granola bar moment (you will feel this one) What cycle breaking actually looks like on a regular Tuesday The grief of knowing better and still struggling Why repair might be the most powerful thing you can offer your kids Libby's book Honest Motherhood and what's inside the pre-order bonus Links and resources: Libby's website: https://libbyward.com/ Pre-order Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself at https://libbyward.com/honest-motherhood-book Follow Libby on Instagram Follow Libby on TikTok Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
The Hidden Shame in Emotional Neglect
You might not call it shame. But if you were emotionally neglected, there's a chance it's been running the show. Most people who grew up emotionally neglected don't have a name for what they carry. They just know that asking for help feels wrong, that they can't stop replaying conversations, that being seen makes them want to disappear. This episode is about why that story forms, where it lives in the body, and why it's so hard to recognize as shame at all. I break down the difference between shame from overt trauma and the kind that grows from absence, why a child's nervous system is wired to turn unmet needs into self-blame, and what it actually looks like to start healing something you can't even point to. In this episode: Why emotional neglect is described as an invisible injury How shame forms as a survival strategy to preserve attachment The version of freeze that looks like high-functioning Why self-awareness can sometimes be shame in disguise What it means that your nervous system never built a map for settled The grief of growing up in an environment that couldn't hold all of you What healing actually looks like when insight alone isn't enough - Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
How Complex Trauma Shows Up in Your Sex Life— with Rachael Garner
Sex and complex trauma. It's one of those topics that doesn't get nearly enough airtime, and yet it comes up so frequently in the therapy room. In this episode I'm talking with Rachael Garner, a certified sex therapist and EMDR clinician who works with complex trauma survivors, about what actually happens to our relationship with sex, desire, and our bodies when we've experienced complex trauma. And there is a lot more nuance here than most people realize. We talk about why dissociation during sex happens and what your body is doing when it checks out. We get into the difference between physiological arousal and actual desire, why zero libido sometimes has nothing to do with your partner, and how sexual neglect, not just abuse, can shape the way you relate to your own sexuality. We also talk about what healing looks like in this area, why it has to be slow, what partners often get wrong even with the best intentions, and how nervous system flexibility connects trauma work and sexual healing in a way that's genuinely hopeful. Rachael Garner is a Certified Sex Therapist, an EMDR Certified Therapist, and an EMDRIA-Approved Consultant-in-Training specializing in complex trauma and sexual issues through a somatic- and attachment-based lens. She is in private practice in Jackson MS, where she resides with her husband and two boys. Learn more about Rachael and her work at https://www.garnercounseling.com . Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist . Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
