Living Compass Spirituality & Wellness

Episode summary Early in his career as a young Episcopal pastor and marriage and family therapist, Scott Stoner believed his job was to have the answers. When people brought him their struggles, he offered expert advice. Over his first decade of ministry and clinical work, he slowly learned a different response: "I don't know, but I'm confident that if we hold space for this together, the path will become clear." In this episode, Scott explores why not knowing can be a deeper way of knowing. This is especially true in life's complex seasons: a difficult diagnosis, a hard decision, grief, loss, or transition. He calls these times liminal space , the place between the "no longer" and the "not yet." He also connects this wisdom to spiritual practice, therapy, worship, and how we companion one another. He closes with a lighter example: walking with fellow Milwaukee Brewers fans through the uncertainty of the World Series, one pitch at a time. In this episode Moving from "expert with answers" to "companion in the questions" Liminal space: the territory between the no longer and the not yet How prayer, meditation, therapy, spiritual direction, and worship all hold space for not knowing What not knowing asks of us: presence, humility, curiosity, trust, compassion, and companioning Beginner's mind: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's, few" Loving the questions themselves Responding to someone's grief or worry by walking with them instead of giving advice Baseball, community, and letting go of the outcome while enjoying the journey A practice to try Think of something in your life right now where you lack clarity. It might be a decision, a hurt, or someone you're worried about. Instead of forcing an answer, practice not knowing. Ask yourself: What helps me feel less anxious in this space? Prayer, centering prayer, meditation, journaling, walking, singing, dancing, yoga, tai chi? What helps me take a breath and trust that "way will open" when it is time? For conversation or journaling When someone shares a struggle with you, what is your first instinct: to advise, or to accompany? Where in your life are you in liminal space right now? What might change if you met that uncertainty with curiosity instead of anxiety? Blessings to you in your own time of not knowing, and go Brewers!

Spaciousness | Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast Episode summary When a friend called in the middle of a busy day, Scott's first instinct was regret at picking up. Then he stopped, took a breath, and made space. In this episode, Scott explores spaciousness — the inner, emotional, and spiritual room we need to create within ourselves so that we can offer it to others. In a world of busyness, screens, clutter, and worry, making space is countercultural. And the paradox is that we need it most precisely when it feels hardest to find. In this episode The phone call that became an invitation to reset and make space The overstuffed glove compartment as a metaphor for how unspacious our lives can become Psalm 18:19: "He brought me forth into a spacious place" Revisiting "Be still and know" from last episode — and the freedom to say no The monk who meditates for two hours on her busiest days Jesus withdrawing to a deserted place when the crowds pressed in, and the gift of Sabbath Autumn leaves letting go: how making space sometimes means releasing something Making space for grief, illness, and recovery "Love your neighbor as yourself," reframed: make space for yourself so you can make space for others Holding space as the common thread of ministry and therapy — being a midwife to what wants to emerge Viktor Frankl: between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space lies our freedom Reflection questions Where in your life are you being invited to make space right now? What is one way you might be more intentional about making space in the next couple of days? How does the space you make (or don't make) for yourself shape how present you can be for others? Resources Living Compass app: free on iPhone and Android, or at app.livingcompass.org Website: livingcompass.org

In this epiosde, Scott shares a new guided meditation that he has recorded for thet Living Compass mobile app. Be Still and No: A Guided Meditation from Living Compass This meditation starts from a familiar line in Psalm 46, "Be still and know that I am God," and plays on its last word: be still and no . The meditation begins by inviting you to arrive in the present moment with slow, intentional breaths, letting your body, mind and spirit settle. He then explores a paradox many of us live with. When we struggle to say no, we lose our ability to be still. When we tend our spiritual lives through prayer, meditation, time in nature or journaling, we become centered enough to say no with grace and kindness. You'll be gently guided to notice what is pulling at you right now, like the to-do list, the unanswered messages and the things you "should" be doing, and to answer each one with a quiet no , not now or this can wait . Along the way, Scott reflects on why saying no is good for our wellbeing: It protects our time and energy. It reduces stress and burnout. It strengthens our self-respect. It makes our yeses more honest. It prevents resentment in our relationships. It helps us live in line with our values. He also describes saying no as a form of Sabbath: saying no to scrolling, screens and binge-watching makes room for rest and renewal. The meditation closes with a simple breath prayer you can carry into your day. Breathe in on "Be still" and out on "and know," holding both meanings of the word. Listen when life feels crowded and you need permission to slow down, set a boundary and come back to your center.

Farmer, poet, theologian Wendell Berry died this week at the age of 92. This episode provides a brief reflection on his spiritual wisdom. Here are some of his quotes that reflect that wisdom and a poem of his called "The Peace of Wild Things." The Peace of Wild Things When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. "There are no unsacred places; there are only sacred places and desecrated places." "Sabbath observance invites us to stop...It invites us to delight in the world's beauty and abundance." "So, friends, every day do something that won't compute...Laugh."

Scott is heading up to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area tomorrow, so he has compasses on his mind. In this episode, he invites us to reflect on the many compasses that guide our lives (consciously and unconsciously), and explores what it means to make our spirituality our compass in the decisions we make about every aspect of our lives.

The word "peloton" in French means a "small ball." When groups of bike riders in a bike race like the Tour de France ride together for support, they are called a "peloton." In this episode Scott reflects on a new take on the African proverb that reminds us that if we want to go far, we need to go as a group. Community is essential to our emotional and spiritual wellbeing. All of our relationships are like a peloton — sometimes we are the ones giving support and encouragement, and sometimes we are the ones who need that support and encouragement.

Scott's love of the Merlin bird app provides a metaphor for listening for the presence of the Divine in our lives.

Scott's recent visit to the dermatologist created an opportunity for him to see the connection between the importance of applying regular doses of both sunscreen and self-compassion for one's overall well-being. The Living Compass app has several meditations on self-compassion. Find it at: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/living-compass/id6738334257 https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.livingcompass&hl=en https://app.livingcompass.org Scott can be reached at scott@livingcompass.org Self-Compassion Quotes referenced in this episode: Kristin Neff: "Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you're good enough, self-compassion asks what's good for you." Louise Hay: "You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." Dr. Christopher Germer: "Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others." Jack Kornfield: "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." Brené Brown: "Talk to yourself as you would to someone you love." Eleanor Brown: "Stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up."

Living in Wisconsin, smoke from wildfires in the US and Canada has had a dramatic effect on our air quality, making it difficult to breathe at times. In this episode, Scott reflects on how life can also make it difficult to breathe emotionally and spiritually. At such times, we're reminded that breath and spirit are deeply connected — as we can see in the word "respiration" — and that all prayer is grounded in mindful breathing. One takeaway from the challenge of the wildfires is to see it as an invitation to be more intentional about breathing deeply and prayerfully — especially when life feels challenging.

Scott talks about two recent experiences he had that reminded him of the power and simplicity of walking meditation. He provides some guidance on how to get started with this practice. Please know, too, that there are several guided walking meditations in the Living Compass app. Download the free app on your phone's app store or find it online at https://app.livingcompass.org . Reach out if you want more guidance on this practice at scott@livingcompass.org .

In anticipation of the Fourth of July, Scott shares a "declaration of interdependence," based on his morning meditation with his cup of coffee.

Inspired by joining over 100,000 fans at a World Cup pre-game party and march in Seattle, Scott talks about the spirituality of rooting. The double meaning of "rooting" is explored — meaning to cheer one another on, and to ground us more deeply in our spirituality. The episode invites each of us to think of someone specific in our lives who could use a little rooting on right now.

The Beautiful Game: Soccer as a Guide to Living a Beautiful Life Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast Episode Summary Host Scott Stoner — Episcopal minister, licensed marriage and family therapist, 40-year soccer player, and lifelong fan — draws on the principles of "the beautiful game" to explore what it means to live a beautiful life. Recorded during World Cup season, this episode is an invitation to see the wisdom embedded in the world's most beloved sport. Key Themes 1. Simplicity Soccer is the simplest of games — all you need is a ball and two goals (even makeshift ones made from backpacks or duct-taped newspaper). With only 17 rules, it's accessible to the youngest children and the most resource-limited communities. Scott reflects on a teammate from Indonesia who learned to play with a homemade newspaper ball and garbage can goals — and became one of the finest players Scott has ever shared a field with. The invitation: where might simplicity open up more beauty in your own life? 2. Diversity The World Cup is a living celebration of human diversity. Scott reflects on the remarkable Spain vs. Cabo Verde match — the largest ranking gap in World Cup history — and the overnight fame of Cabo Verde's 40-year-old goalkeeper. He also shares from his own playing community, which includes people from Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, England, South Africa, Peru, Russia, Colombia, and Tunisia. Diversity isn't just welcome in the beautiful game — it's essential to it. The same is true of a beautiful life. 3. Flow Unlike American sports that emphasize constant action and scoring, soccer invites us to appreciate flow — the movement, the playmaking, the improvisational dance of the game. A 0-0 match can be among the most beautiful games ever played. Scott notes that soccer coaches do their real work in practice; during the game itself, the players are in charge. Life, too, calls us into this kind of trust — less micromanaging, more presence and responsiveness. 4. Improvisation Within the flow of the game, players are constantly making real-time decisions without a script. This improvisational quality — responding to what's actually happening rather than what was planned — is as essential to living well as it is to playing well. Reflection Questions Where might you simplify your life to create more beauty? How are you embracing diversity in your relationships and community? Are you focused more on goals and scores, or on the flow of the journey itself? Where is life inviting you to improvise rather than control? Connect with Scott 📧 scott@livingcompass.org 🌐 livingcompass.org The Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast is rooted in the belief that our spirituality can be a compass in all aspects of our lives.

Liminal time is that time between "no longer" and "not yet." It is something we experience in many seasons of our lives — something we see now as we enter the season of graduations and weddings. Other experiences of liminal time, though, come not by choice but by loss. This episode explores how the two most important factors in helping us when we find ourselves in the "in between" times are spirituality and community.

Is Your Recreation Truly Re-Creative? As summer begins, host Scott Stoner invites listeners to reflect on a simple but important question: Is your recreation actually restoring you — or are you just zoning out? Scott distinguishes between mindlessly scrolling or numbing out (easy to do, but not truly restorative) and activities that create genuine flow — that quality of being so present and engaged that you lose track of time. For Scott, those activities are playing mandolin at bluegrass jams and riding his bike. Both draw him fully into the moment and replenish him body, mind, and spirit. This idea of true rest has deep roots. Sabbath — woven into the founding traditions of Judaism and Christianity — is ancient wisdom about the necessity of restoration. When we neglect it, the signs show up across all dimensions of our wellbeing: emotional flatness, spiritual dryness, physical depletion, relational withdrawal. A simple practice to try this week: Choose one dimension of your wellbeing — physical, emotional, spiritual, or relational — and do one thing that is genuinely replenishing for that area. You already know what it is. The challenge is simply remembering and then choosing it. Bonus points if one activity nourishes more than one dimension at once. The Living Compass app offers courses, self-guided retreats, and guided meditations. Find it at app.livingcompass.org or in any app store. Questions or reflections? Reach Scott at scott@livingcompass.org .

Beginner's Mind: The Spiritual Practice of Not Knowing Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast Episode Summary What if not knowing were a gift rather than a failure? In this episode, Scott Stoner explores the Zen concept of beginner's mind — the practice of approaching life's questions with openness, humility, and curiosity rather than the pressure to have all the answers. Drawing on decades of experience as both a therapist and Episcopal priest, Scott shares how embracing "not knowing" has transformed the way he accompanies others — and himself — through life's deepest challenges. In This Episode A story from Scott's therapy practice about a man in midlife — and the reminder that every person's story is truly unique, heard for the first time How Scott's approach shifted over the years from giving answers to holding space for deeper wisdom to emerge The Zen teaching: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few" How "expert mind" can show up as "should" language — and why that closes us off to possibility The connection between beginner's mind and the Quaker wisdom that "way will open" An invitation to trust the deeper wisdom already within you Reflection Questions Where in your life right now might a beginner's mind open up new possibilities? When you face uncertainty, do you tend toward "expert mind" — trying to force clarity or resolution? What helps you practice not knowing? Quote of the Episode "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few." Connect with Scott Questions or reflections? Scott welcomes your emails at scott@livingcompass.org

Show Notes In this episode, Scott reflects on one of spring's most quietly profound lessons: that trees bud in their own time, on their own internal rhythm — and that the same is true for each of us. Walking near the Ice Age Trail and in his own neighborhood, Scott has noticed that even two trees of the same species, standing side by side, can be weeks apart in their budding. One is fully leafing out while the other shows barely a sign of life. And yet neither is ahead or behind. Each is simply following its own inner clock. This observation opens into a deeper invitation: to release the pressure we place on ourselves — and on others — to bud on our timeline. Whether we're longing for clarity, resolution, healing, or change in our own lives or in someone we love, the wisdom of the trees reminds us that we cannot force the budding. We can only trust it. Scott draws on several threads woven throughout the Living Compass community: The Quaker saying "Way will open" — revisited from a recent episode, and deepened here through the image of a tree's patient, unhurried unfolding. Coaching youth soccer — a vivid reminder that children, like trees, bud in dramatically different ways and timeframes, physically, emotionally, and in skill — and that the difference is not a deficit but a beautiful symphony. The hidden life of trees — recent research showing that trees in distress are actually supported by neighboring trees through their root systems, sending nutrients underground. Not competition, but communion. That underground network becomes a metaphor for the Living Compass community itself — people whose roots, Scott reflects, are by divine design interconnected, supporting one another as the life force moves through each of us in its own time. The episode closes with a gentle reframe: we are not the creators of our own growth. We are the receivers. The river is flowing. Our calling is not to force it, but to trust it. Please know that a seven-minute Guided Meditation is offered on this same theme in our Living Compass app. See below for how to access the app--you can also access it here at: https://app.livingcompass.org Connect with Scott about this episode or your own journey with integrating spirituality and well-being at scott@livingcompass.org The Living Compass mobile app with Guided Meditations, Courses, Self-Guided Retreats, and Contemplative Practices is available through any mobile app store (Apple or Google) or online at our web app--here are the links for each. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/living-compass/id6738334257 https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.livingcompass&hl=en https://app.livingcompass.org

"Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of Not Knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. And the answers will find you." Jeff Foster Befriending Uncertainty: Learning to Live in the "Not Yet" Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast About This Episode This episode is a follow-up to last week's reflection on the Quaker wisdom phrase "Way Will Open." If we're going to trust that way will open, what do we do in the meantime? How do we learn not just to live with uncertainty, but to actually befriend it? Scott explores this question through the lens of both Christian and Buddhist wisdom, and through the surprising insight that befriending uncertainty works much the same way as being a good, patient friend. In This Episode The Jeff Foster quote that anchors this reflection: "Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. And the answers will find you." The Christian tradition of actively waiting on the Spirit — not passive, but attentive and expectant How the way we hold space for an anxious friend is the same posture we need with our own uncertainty The Buddhist practice of beginner's mind — approaching even familiar situations as if for the first time Scott's experience as a therapist: "I've never heard this story before" The compass as a tool for reorientation — not a guarantee, but a way back to true north A Practice to Carry With You This week, try approaching one conversation, one relationship, or one unresolved situation with beginner's mind. Set aside what you think you already know, and simply listen — to the other person, or to your own heart — as if you're hearing it for the first time. We don't so much find the answers as we make space for the answers to find us. Resources 📱 A guided meditation on this theme is available in the Living Compass app — search Living Compass in your app store or visit app.livingcompass.org 📧 Reach Scott at scott@livingcompass.org 🌐 Learn more at livingcompass.org "Leave everything undefined, including yourself. Befriend uncertainty. Fall in love with mystery. Kneel at the altar of not knowing. Give your questions time to breathe. And the answers will find you." — Jeff Foster

Way Will Open: An Easter Reflection Living Compass Spirituality and Wellness Podcast Episode Summary In this Easter season episode, Scott explores the ancient Quaker wisdom phrase "Way will open" and its profound connection to the resurrection story. With honesty and hope, he reflects on why we sometimes close ourselves off to new life — and why trusting that way will open is both a radical act and a deeply grounded spiritual practice. In This Episode Why "Way will open" may be the most-used phrase in Scott's coaching work How we sometimes unconsciously seal ourselves inside our own tombs — in relationships, at work, and in our inner lives The healing of the man ill for 38 years (John 5) and what his response reveals about our own resistance to new life Why way doesn't always open in the direction or manner we expect — and why that's actually part of the wisdom The cave illustration: sometimes the opening is right behind us, if we're willing to turn around and walk through the darkness Easter as a way of seeing — a counter-cultural mindset of hope in the middle of a world full of Good Fridays Key Quote "Do I believe that way will open? Yes, I do. Believe it? Heck, I've seen it." Scripture Reference John 5 — The healing of the man who had been ill for 38 years Reflection Question Where in your life right now might way be opening — perhaps in a direction you haven't yet turned toward? Resources & Connect 📧 Reach Scott at: scott@livingcompass.org 📱 Living Compass App: available in your phone's app store (search Living Compass ) or at app.livingcompass.org 🎧 A guided meditation based on this episode will be available in the Living Compass app Living Compass is a nonprofit spirituality and wellness initiative helping tens of thousands of people walk toward greater wholeness through the integration of faith and well-being.

Show Notes: The Ground Begins to Soften "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." — Ezekiel 36:26 Happy Easter! In this episode, Scott Stoner reflects on one of his favorite Easter metaphors — one rooted right here in Wisconsin: the slow, unmistakable thawing of frozen ground in spring. Alongside the powerful images from the Easter story itself — the stone rolled away, the risen Christ, the road to Emmaus — the annual spring thaw offers its own quiet resurrection message. The ground that has been locked and hardened through winter softens, loosens, and comes alive again. And so can we. The episode centers on Ezekiel 36:26 : "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Just as our hearts, bodies, relationships, and spirits can become hardened — through grief, anxiety, depression, grudges, or the weight of what's happening in the world — Easter holds out the promise of thawing. And crucially, we don't cause the thaw. We receive it. The word resurrection shares its roots with resurgence — divine love never stops wanting to surge again in us. Our part is simply to loosen our grip and let it. This episode is a companion to the guided meditation The Ground Begins to Soften , available on the Living Compass app. 📱 Download or access it at app.livingcompass.org Jesus has risen. The ground is softening — in Wisconsin, in this season, in you. The thaw has already begun. Thanks be to God.