Published by Alex Howard, Amanda Silver, RTF Productions
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Honest, expert-backed conversations about divorce, co-parenting, and moving forward. Hosted by professional mediators Alex Howard and Amanda Silver, Dirty Laundry dives into the real questions women ask when navigating separation, custody battles, toxic relationships, and dating again. This is your safe space to learn, reflect, and take back control — no shame, no sugarcoating. ✨ New episodes weekly. 🧺 It’s time to air it all out.
Encore: Break the Attack-Defend Loop — How Insight Mediation Is Changing the Way Families Divorce
Send us Fan Mail Mary Anne Popescu is the Executive Director of the Ontario Association for Family Mediation and a practicing family mediator of over two decades. In this encore episode, she introduces the concept that changed both her practice and her own marriage: the attack-defend loop, and how naming it in real time can stop a conversation from spiraling. She and Alex and Amanda dig into insight mediation, why she prefers the phrase "families experiencing high conflict behavior" over the label "high conflict," and how future-focused questions can unlock genuinely creative solutions for even the most complex blended families. They also talk about the grief that underlies every separation, no matter who initiated it, and why control over how your story ends is often the biggest reason people choose mediation over litigation. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
Encore: Divorce 101 — A Step-by-Step Guide From Decision to Agreement
Send us Fan Mail Most people think the first step after deciding to divorce is calling a lawyer. It isn't — and starting there can cost you time, money, and options you didn't know you had. In this encore episode, Alex and Amanda break down the entire divorce process from the beginning: why taking a beat before making any decisions matters, how to gather information and build the right team, the five different processes available (kitchen table agreements, mediation, collaborative law, lawyer negotiation, and court) and how to choose the right one for your situation, what actually goes into a separation agreement, and the financial disclosure rights every spouse has regardless of how finances were kept during the marriage. They also cover what happens after the agreement is signed, including annual reviews and why you don't have to file for a legal divorce right away. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
Encore: Attachment Styles, Divorce, and How to Build Security From the Inside Out
Send us Fan Mail Your attachment style shapes everything — how you fight, how you grieve, how you date after divorce, and how you co-parent with someone you're no longer in love with. And most people have no idea what theirs is until something breaks. In this encore episode, Alex and Amanda dig into the four attachment styles with a therapist and attachment expert — anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure — and explore how each one shows up in the specific context of divorce and post-divorce life. They cover why secure attachment in a marriage doesn't guarantee secure attachment after it ends, how to recognize your patterns without using them as an excuse, and what the research actually says about whether attachment styles can change. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
Encore: Dating After Divorce — The Red Flags, the Fails, and the Content with Michelle Traina
Send us Fan Mail In this encore episode, Michelle joins Alex and Amanda to talk about what dating actually looks like as a single mom in New York, the impossible time math of fitting dating into a life that already includes a daughter and a comedy career, why she gave up hiding who she was for men a long time ago, and what three things automatically make someone a red flag. Funny, honest, and deeply relatable. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
Encore: The Gay Husband, the New Husband, and the Mormon Wife — with Jessica Frew
Send us Fan Mail Jessica Frew's first marriage looked like a great fit from the outside. Then she found something on their computer. Her husband Steve was gay — and couldn't yet admit it to himself. In this encore episode, Jessica shares the seven years of gradual mourning that followed, the affair that finally ended the marriage, and how she and Steve built a co-parenting relationship so intentional that they now host a podcast together alongside her current husband Matt. She also talks about the work she does with women through the Betrayed Badass Society — and the trust gut challenge she gives every single one of them, because rebuilding self-trust after betrayal starts with what you want to eat for lunch. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E37: Stay or Go? Getting Clarity on the Hardest Marriage Decision — with Betsy Pake
Send us Fan Mail Betsy Pake is a master coach, speaker, and founder of the Navigate Method. She has also lived this question herself for nearly a decade before finally getting clear. In this episode she talks about what keeps women stuck, why taking accountability for where you are is actually empowering rather than letting anyone off the hook, how to calibrate for action rather than words when you're trying to figure out if someone is really willing to change, and the difference between settling and choosing — and why that distinction changes everything. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E36: Emotional Intelligence, Dating After Divorce, and Why EQ Changes Every Relationship You Have with Kristen Harcourt
Send us Fan Mail Emotional intelligence isn't something you either have or you don't. It's a skill. And it might be the most important one you can build when you're navigating divorce, co-parenting, and figuring out who you are on the other side of a relationship. Kristen Harcourt — business coach, speaker, podcast host, and emotional intelligence expert — joins Alex and Amanda to talk about what EQ actually looks like in practice: how to regulate your emotions in real time during a difficult co-parenting conversation, how to spot self-abandonment in dating after divorce, why the goal isn't to stop having emotions but to stop reacting to everything, and how self-compassion is the foundation of all of it. She also shares her own experience going back into the dating world after 25 years and what that journey taught her about attachment styles, boundaries, and choosing herself first. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E35: Husbands May Come and Go, But Diamonds Are Forever: The Divorce Jewellery Dilemma—Keep It, Redesign It, or Sell It? with Jessica of Jessica Jewellery
Send us Fan Mail The engagement ring meant everything when he gave it to you. Now it's sitting in a drawer and you're not sure what to do with it. Sell it? Save it for your kids? Or turn it into something that finally feels like yours? Jessica of Jessica Jewellry joins Alex and Amanda to walk through every stage of the post-divorce jewelry journey, from the woman who calls fresh out of a split wanting it gone immediately, to the one a decade later who's ready to redesign it into something that represents exactly where she is now. They also get into the lab grown diamond market, why the value of those stones has dropped dramatically, and why pausing before making any big decisions is the only advice that matters. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E34: A Dad's Mission to Support Teen Mental Health — with Chris Coulter
Send us Fan Mail After the most difficult experience of his life, Chris Coulter spent a decade speaking with more than 2,000 parents who were struggling to understand what was really going on with their teenagers. What he found was a consistent gap — parents dismissing warning signs as normal adolescent behavior, and teenagers who wouldn't open up to the people who loved them most. In this episode Chris talks about his daughter Maddie, what he learned in the years that followed her passing, and the organization he built called The Mentor Well. He walks through the Teen Signal Check — a free five-minute tool that gives parents a clear green, yellow, or red — and explains why he believes mentorship, not parenting or therapy alone, is often the relationship where a struggling teenager will finally feel safe enough to talk. Find Chris and the Teen Signal Check at thementorwell.com. 🇨🇦 Support is always available: Suicide Crisis Helpline — Call or text 9-8-8 (free, confidential, 24/7) Kids Help Phone — Call 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT to 686868 (free, confidential, 24/7 for youth and young adults) Hope for Wellness Helpline (Indigenous communities) — Call 1-855-242-3310 or chat at hopeforwellness.ca (available 24/7 in English, French, Cree, Ojibway, and Inuktitut) Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E33: Coercive Control, Counter-Parenting, and Protecting Your Kids — with Dr. Christine Cocchiola
Send us Fan Mail She spent 27 years married to her abuser. She was a domestic abuse counselor the entire time. And she still didn't recognize what was happening to her until year 20 of her marriage. Dr. Christine Cocchiola — licensed social worker, professor, therapist, survivor, and protective mom — joins Alex and Amanda to talk about coercive control as the foundation of all abuse, not just the violent incidents we're taught to look for. She explains the dark tetrad of personality traits that drive abusive behavior, why she tells protective parents not to take their children to therapy with a coercive co-parent, what counter-parenting is and how abusers use it to fracture a child's attachment to the safe parent, and what practical tools parents can use when their kids come home dysregulated after a visit. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E32: The Legal Fight to Make Canada's Courts Prioritize Abuse Survivors — Part 2 with Kathryn Marshall
Send us Fan Mail Over half of all criminal cases in Canada involve intimate partner violence or sexual assault. And those are the exact cases being quietly pushed to the bottom of the pile when courtrooms run out of time and resources. In part two of her conversation with Alex and Amanda, Kathryn Marshall breaks down how trial stacking is working against abuse survivors, what the Hockey Canada trial revealed about how the criminal court system treats victims, why she believes Zoom court has eroded accountability, and exactly what she is asking the federal government to do — before she has to drag them through every court in the country to get it done. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E31: Suing the Government Over a Justice System That's Failing Survivors — with Kathryn Marshall
Send us Fan Mail Hundreds of domestic violence and sexual assault cases are being thrown out before they ever get to trial. Abusers are walking away with no criminal record and nothing on their file. And survivors are being silenced in the process. Kathryn Marshall of Marshall Law is suing the federal government over it. In this episode she breaks down exactly how the justice system is failing abuse survivors, why she now tells some clients to skip criminal court entirely, and what it actually looks like to take the government to court. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E30: Mother's Day — The Good, The Guilt, and The Working Weekend
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Alex and Amanda get candid about the reality of Mother's Day — why it so often becomes the most exhausting day of the year, why divorced moms are doing something categorically different from married moms who think a solo weekend qualifies as the same experience, and why giving yourself permission to skip the celebration entirely is not only valid but sometimes the healthiest choice. They also get into mom judgment, the mental load of co-parenting versus counter-parenting, AI and homework, and what it actually means to launch your kids into adulthood in 2025. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
[From the Vault] The Stepmom Experience
Send us Fan Mail Stepmoms are expected to show up like a parent, step back like a stranger, and never complain about any of it. Jamie Simkins — licensed therapist, stepmom coach, and stepmom twice over — has been there herself. In this episode from the vault, she gets into the real dynamics of blended family life: navigating a high conflict bio mom, connecting with stepkids before ever trying to discipline them, why stepdads get to be heroes while stepmoms become the scapegoat, and why she calls being a stepmom a spiritual experience. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E29: Author, Founder, Advocate, and Survivor — Ismena Toscan on Protecting Every Child in Canada
Send us Fan Mail One in three Canadian girls has experienced childhood sexual abuse. One in eight boys. These aren't abstract numbers — they're children in classrooms, on hockey teams, in families across the country. Ismena Toscan is 15 years old. She is a survivor, the founder of the Hula Hoop Initiative, the author of two children's books on body autonomy and personal safety, and someone who has already spoken at the House of Commons in support of the Keeping Children Safe Act. In this episode she talks about why preventive education has to begin long before anything goes wrong, what the hula hoop concept teaches young children about their own boundaries and personal space, why she chooses the word survivor over victim, and what parents can do right now to build the kind of open relationship that makes children feel safe enough to speak up. This one is for every parent, every educator, and every person who believes children deserve to feel safe. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E28: Surviving Divorce After Domestic Violence — with Mae Scott
Send us Fan Mail Mae Scott joins Alex and Amanda to share the full story of escaping her abusive, narcissistic ex‑husband, a respected lawyer who was eventually sentenced to 12 years to life in prison. This episode goes inside the escalating violence, the therapist who warned her she had to leave immediately, and the five felony charges that finally led to his conviction. Then we walk through the part no one talks about: the nine‑month, $100,000 battle for supervised visitation, the foreclosure, and the judge who ordered Mae to pay her abuser $550 a month in spousal support while raising three kids on $54,000 a year. In this episode, we cover: - How abusers hide behind a perfect public image and professional status while terrorizing their families at home - Why a marriage counselor told Mae, “You and your children have to leave” - What really happens when you call the police for the first time after years of abuse - The smear campaign: wild accusations filed in court documents with zero evidence - How the family court system can punish survivors (foreclosure, no support, massive legal costs) - The nine months and $100,000 it took to secure supervised visitation for her children - What Mae wants other survivors to know about documenting abuse and planning to leave More 👇 If you’re searching for stories about domestic violence survivors, divorcing a narcissist, abusive lawyers, family court failures, coercive control, or financial abuse, this conversation with survivor and advocate Mae Scott is for you. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E27: Keira’s Law, Reunification Therapy, and Why the Systems Meant to Protect Children Keep Failing Them — Part 2 with Philip Viater
Send us Fan Mail In part two of this conversation, Philip breaks down the legislation that came out of that loss — Keira’s Law Law, passed unanimously across all party lines — and what it actually does to change how judges are trained on domestic violence and coercive control. He also gets into why reunification therapy has no standardized training, no governing body, and no consistent methodology, why the Department of Justice's own HELP Toolkit confirms abuse is relevant to parenting but that knowledge still hasn't trickled down to the front lines, and what he would say to a victim who is afraid to come forward because they've already seen the system fail. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E26: Parental Alienation, Institutional Betrayal, and Why Family Court Keeps Getting It Wrong — with Philip Viater
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Alex and Amanda sit down with Philip Viater, a family lawyer with 17 years of experience at VP Family Law Group, for one of the most candid conversations about the failures of family court we've ever had. Philip breaks down why parental alienation is predominantly used as a defense against abuse rather than a genuine diagnosis, why he views it as junk science not recognized by the DSM, and why the moment someone raises it in his cases he considers it a red flag. He also explains the concept of institutional betrayal trauma — what happens when a victim turns to psychologists, judges, social workers, and child protection services for help and gets re-victimized by the very systems designed to protect them. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E25: The Prenup Episode: Why More Couples Are Choosing Prenups — and What You Need to Know Before You Do
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Alex and Amanda sit down with family lawyers Sean Valentine and Ryan Osbourne — co-creators of I Do Prenup, an app that lets couples generate a real marriage contract in hours for a fraction of traditional legal costs. They break down who actually needs a prenup and why the answer is basically everyone, what three things must be included in any agreement, why couples who do prenups have lower divorce rates, what happens when grandma and grandpa are the ones demanding it, and why infidelity clauses — no matter how satisfying they sound — are completely unenforceable. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
S4 E24: The Mom Identity Crisis Nobody Talks About — with Dale and Annabel from We Are More Than Moms
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Alex and Amanda sit down with Dale and Annabel, the duo behind We Are More Than Moms, to talk about why the postpartum identity shift is so disorienting, how they built a thriving community for career-driven women who refuse to shrink themselves after having kids, and why the early parenting years are such a genuine test of a relationship. Dale also shares what it was like growing up as a child of divorce — including years in a nesting arrangement — and how that experience made her more intentional about her own marriage. Annabel gets into navigating the holidays with multiple sets of divorced parents, and both share why authenticity online matters more than ever in a space full of curated perfection. Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by our podcast guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or the podcast. We value diverse perspectives and aim to provide a platform for thoughtful discussion and exploration of different ideas. Got any comments, suggestions or queries? We'd love to hear from you! DM us on Instagram @dirty.laundry.podcast to be featured on one of our upcoming episodes. Also, don't forget to rate and review our show on your favourite podcast player.
