I deconstructed my Mormon faith down to the bone—and when my dad died, the deconstruction shit really hit the fan. Now, Girlscamp isn’t just about what’s fallen apart, but about exploring what might come next. Around the campfire, we’ll swap stories from life after faith shifts, laugh at the quirks of high-demand religion, and dig into the ways Mormonism shows up in our culture—from pop culture and art to media and everyday life. I’ll also sit down with voices ranging from therapists to philosophers to everyday people reimagining belief, as we tackle what it means to live, love, grieve, and grow once certainty is gone. Honest, curious, and a little irreverent—because that’s what Girlscamp is all about.
I asked you to share your most meaningful dream experiences and naturally ended up crying on my couch reading through them. These stories include poignant visits from dead loved ones, dreams that seemed to reveal truths, confirm life decisions, or offer wisdom at just the right time, a few uncanny coincidences, and, of course, some that are just plain funny. I also give a quick-and-dirty overview of where dreams fit in Mormon and Christian theology. Whatever you believe about dreams, I think you’ll find these fascinating. Dream on 🌙 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Childfree by Choice (Despite a Mormon Upbringing) with Abigail Porter
Abigail Porter, better known online as "The Girl with the List," joins me to talk about deconstructing motherhood—especially after growing up Mormon. We discuss the messages society and religion often send women about motherhood as their highest purpose, and how Abigail unpacked those beliefs to arrive at her decision to be child-free. She also shares what she loves about the child-free life, the pushback she's received for speaking openly about her decision online, and the misconceptions women without children often face. Along the way, we explore her viral "List," reproductive autonomy, and what it looks like to choose a different path than the one you were always told you were supposed to want. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. REFERENCES Abigail’s Instagram Abigail’s TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
IVF Made Me Question God
I've been meaning to tell this story for a long time. This is my infertility journey that ultimately led to the birth of my now four-year-old twin daughters. We cover the practical side: infertility treatments, my endometriosis diagnosis, and why we decided to transfer two embryos. But I also get into the parts that are harder to talk about: how infertility shook my Mormon faith, made me question God, and forced me to untangle so much of my identity and worth as a woman. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
*TEASER* Catalytic Converters & Death Row Meals
I recruited Bentley to answer some "boyfriend questions," and our conversation ended up in some unexpected places. We discuss our death row meals, where we'd look for each other if we went missing for 24 hours, our stolen catalytic converter, how we're settling into life in our new LA rental, a little relationship check-in, and plenty of other tangents along the way. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
All-American Religion
If there's one thing to say about Mormonism, it's that it's distinctly American. My Mormon deconstruction both mirrored and informed my deconstruction of American exceptionalism. In honor of America's 250th anniversary, I'm breaking down how I feel about this country now, the ways Mormonism shaped my view of America, and what it was like to untangle the two. Everyone who signs up to my giveaway wins either a free WhisperVibe™ or a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTech™ purchase! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast#bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Annoyed (At Moral Outrage & Other Things)
I'm annoyed! By a creator freaking out that Toy Story spotlighted Jessie over Woody and Buzz, for starters, and by a lot of other things too. I had you write in what you're annoyed about, and we've got a great lineup of grievances: in-laws acting weird, returned Mormon missionaries being presumptuous, parents letting their kids go crazy, influencers filming themselves walking, and more. Some I agree with, some I'm torn about. Can't wait to discuss. The Toy Story Instagram post Robin Morgan TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Outside of Utah, Things Look Different
In this catch-up episode, I'm sharing some shifts in my perspectives I've been noticing after our first month in LA. Then we jump into a little bit of everything: the ethics of porn, a racist comment recently made by a Mormon general authority, Jen Affleck's fourth pregnancy announcement, a few thoughts on Love Island, and what has struck me about the way Utah Mormon adults socialize compared to almost everyone else. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Girls Kissing Girls at Girls' Camp
In honor of Pride Month, I’m reading your stories of when queerness and religion collide. There are stories of finding love despite church community pushback, first crushes, forbidden feelings, queer awakenings, and figuring yourself out in religious spaces. There are also a lot of girls kissing girls: mission companions, YSA ward friends, and fellow campers at Girls’ Camp. We love to see it. And we love love 🏳️🌈 Conversion Therapy to Drag Diva episode with Meredith Peterson Sister Missionaries Turned Lovers episode EVERYONE who signs up to my giveaway with @bellesaco will receive a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast #bbpartner Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
*TEASER* Was Jesus Gay?
When I saw this theory in my comment section this week, my interest was immediately piqued: what if Jesus was queer? While we don't have enough evidence to know for sure, this theory led me down some very interesting rabbit holes and thought lanes that I'm excited to travel again with you. Then I share some updates: a life-changing Korean spa experience in the nude, my new love for a very specific coffee drink, and how things are feeling in California. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp: Unplugged Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Religious OCD Diva with Jane Beeson
Self-proclaimed OCDiva Jane Beeson joins me today to talk about experiencing religious OCD inside Mormonism. We discuss the ways Mormonism fueled the OCD fire, as well as the beliefs, language, and values she's had to unpack since leaving the church and beginning her OCD recovery journey. You can find Jane on Instagram, TikTok and Spotify. Reclaim your faith with NOCD. Book a free 15 minute call here to get started. Use code HAYLEY20 for 20% off your order at Earlybird. Join the Girlscamp: Unplugged account at https://www.patreon.com/c/Girlscamp For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram @girlscamppodcast & TikTok @hayleyrawle. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Mormon Rules Are Weird with Alyssa Grenfell
No better person to break down the weird world of Mormon rules with than Alyssa Grenfell. Alyssa and I dive into everything from coffee and garments to rated-R movies, gender roles, and ear piercings, unpacking what these rules say about Mormonism, where they came from, and how they've changed over time. Alyssa shares what kind of rule follower she was, the Mormon rules she thinks are most likely to change next, and why some rules seem to matter more than others. Mormonism doesn't rule... but it definitely has a lot of rules. Alyssa’s first Girlscamp episode Church Instagram post about man supporting his wife as a doctor Alyssa on YouTube Alyssa on Instagram Alyssa on TikTok Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
*TEASER* Spilling My Guts
As the title suggests, today I'm spilling my guts. There's been a lot going on in my life—and in my brain—and it felt good to sit down and talk through some of it. We're chatting about a surprising first-time club experience in LA, some behind-the-scenes on a couple upcoming interviews, more beef with Mormon apologists, an addition to the crazy moving lore, and all the ways I'm starting to feel like a new person. You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Moving is Hell
I thought my move was chaotic, but it's got nothing on some of your moving stories. We're talking about everything that can (and did) go wrong during a move, plus a few surprisingly sweet stories of things going unexpectedly right. Lost keys, missing washboards, dead pet fish, sick children... and a little moving magic. U-Haul, sponsor us? The Astronaut Driving Cross-Country in Diapers story Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Leaving Utah for LA
Moving IS hell, but LA is feeling pretty heavenly so far! Today I’m telling you the good, the bad and the ugly of packing up our whole life in Utah and trekking out to our new life in California. It’s been good exposure therapy for my control/perfectionist side and a good opportunity to reflect on life, transitions and what I really want out of it all. We’re also talking the weird limbo zone of moving, saying goodbye to friends and family and why our dirty little rental in Atwater already feels like home. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibeTM OR a FREE Rose toy with any WhisperTM order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/girlscamp-podcast Love Trapped podcast All Fours by Miranda July Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
*TEASER* Yesteryear: Tradwife Nightmare Fuel
Wow. Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke was quite the ride and, for many women raised in conservative Christian culture (like me!), a disturbingly familiar one. Today I’m recapping the book, but even more so unpacking the themes underneath it: womanhood, motherhood, toxic masculinity, performance, privacy, religion, and influencer culture. I also tackle the question everyone seems to be asking: who exactly is this story inspired by? Hannah Neeleman? Ruby Franke? Something more general? Or something else entirely? You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Being a Black Mormon Missionary with Alley Bird
Detroit native Alley Bird comes to Girlscamp to talk about her experience growing up as a Black Mormon girl, learning about the priesthood ban in seminary as a teenager, and later experiencing colorism on her mission in El Salvador. We talk about the health (or lack thereof) of sister missionaries, the resources (or lack thereof) for Black missionaries facing racism, and the unique culture surrounding Mormon missions. Alley also shares about her brief stint as a Temple Square Visitors’ Center missionary during Covid. You can find Alley on TikTok here and on Instagram here. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Married Young, 10 Years Later
It’s been 10 years since our Mormon temple wedding at 20 and 21. Today Bentley and I are reflecting on young marriage, navigating faith deconstruction as a couple, the advice we’d give our younger selves, and whether we’d do it all over again. Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
From Mormon Mom to Marshals with Ash Santos
Today’s guest Ash Santos always dreamed outside the Mormon box. After an early marriage and becoming a mom young, she landed her first big break on American Horror Story. She later deconstructed her faith and then her marriage. And after years of fighting for the life she actually wanted, she’s now in a lead role as Andrea Cruz on the CBS hit series Marshals. Amber Fillerup Girlscamp episode Ash Santos on Instagram Marshals on CBS Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Church Mission: Impossible
We’re doing a bread-and-butter Girlscamp submission episode today: church mission stories. We’re chatting about crazy (and sometimes dangerous) companions, bizarre proselytizing run-ins, and what happens when you tell the Mormon missionaries you don’t believe in Joseph Smith. Come along for the ride! Crazy Mormon Mission Stories episode STALKED on a Mormon Mission episode Sister Missionary Snapchat ad Join the Girlscamp: After Dark Patreon account here for two bonus episodes per month and more. For more Girlscamp content follow along on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. For ad inquiries please email girlscamp@saucemediagroup.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
*TEASER* The False Prophet Felt Familiar
We’ve got much to discuss about Netflix’s new docuseries Trust Me: The False Prophet. Watching it, I was surprised by how familiar parts of it felt. In this episode I talk through the parallels and patterns I noticed between the Samuelites, the FLDS, and mainstream Mormonism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Keep the useful structure, then change the audience, point of view, and voice until the idea is unmistakably yours.
