Behind the Smile is a mental health, recovery and personal growth podcast hosted by TEDx speaker and coach Ash Butterss. Exploring alcohol, addiction, sobriety, trauma and emotional wellbeing, it reveals the raw reality behind the facade of people's "perfect lives." After getting sober in 2020 and leaving corporate life, Ash now shares raw conversations, expert insights and powerful stories to help you heal, grow and reconnect with your true self. Expect honesty, practical tools and real talk that proves when we recover out loudly, no one has to suffer in silence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Getting sober gave Alexandra McRobert more than freedom from alcohol, it gave her the clarity to explore who she truly was. Despite having dated men and previously being married to a man, it was during a deep meditation that Alex came to the life changing realisation that she was a lesbian. Alexandra is a yoga teacher, author, and founder of the Mindful Life Practice and Mindful Bali Yoga School. She got sober in 2019 after years of drinking her way through life in the Middle East, where securing her next drink had quietly become the centre of everything she did. In this conversation, Alexandra shares how sobriety created space for her sexuality to unfold, the assault that cracked her life open and propelled her to build the yoga shala she had always dreamed of, and why she created the sober community she wished had existed when she needed it most. Alexandra and Ash also explore the profound overlap between yoga philosophy and the 12 Steps, and what becomes possible when you stop numbing long enough to hear the truth of who you are. TW: This episode contains discussion of assault. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introducing Alexandra McRobert 03:09 Life in Ubud: Yoga, Pilates and Kirtan 04:34 How Bali Called Her In 06:19 A Marriage That Lasted Two Months 09:08 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile in Morocco 11:42 When Alcohol Consumes Everything 13:08 The Rock Bottom in a Classroom in Abu Dhabi 16:12 Deciding to Get Sober on the Plane Home 18:00 Getting Sober Without Traditional 12-Step Access 19:54 Finding Community Through an Online Sobriety Group 22:35 How COVID Gave Birth to Sober Girls Yoga 24:02 Why Yoga and Sobriety Are the Same Thing 26:23 The Yoga Sutras and the 12 Steps 28:19 Ahimsa and Satya: Love Everyone and Tell the Truth 30:07 Building a Life and a Business in Bali 32:00 Being Drugged and Assaulted: The Turning Point 34:33 Building the Shala and Starting Kirtan 36:11 Trusting the Universe Over the Plan 38:19 How Alcohol Shaped Her Relationships and Marriage 40:19 Coming Out as Queer 43:11 The Vipassana That Changed Everything 51:48 Kirtan, Meditation, and Moving Through Self-Hatred 55:45 Craniosacral Therapy and What the Body Holds 58:01 What Daily Life Rooted in Presence Looks Like 01:02:13 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life Connect with Alexandra below: Check out Alexandra’s Substack here. Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
My guest this week, Shannan Walsh, lived in the grip of addiction for 18 years. It took her from alcohol and drugs to crime, prison, homelessness and a relationship that nearly cost her life. Eventually, she reached a point where there was nowhere left to run. In this raw conversation, Shannan shares what it took to survive, get sober and rebuild her life from the ground up. She speaks about motherhood, violence, shame, spirituality and the slow work of learning to trust herself again. Shannan’s story is confronting, but it is also a hopeful reminder that recovery is possible. TW: This episode contains discussion of family violence and suicide. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introducing Shannan Walsh 03:23 The Photo: Hiding Behind the Smile 04:39 A Life Built Around the Drink 07:06 What Shannon Was Like Before Alcohol 08:05 Early Depression and the Hole in the Soul 09:51 When Drugs Entered the Picture 11:00 Ecstasy, Meth, and the Escalation of Addiction 13:22 Crime, Violence, and Running on Rage 18:07 Where Did That Anger Come From? 18:34 Withdrawal, Seizures, and Drinking Against Her Will 20:07 Coming Out of Prison and Falling Pregnant 22:08 Trying to Do the Normal Thing 27:46 The Rock Bottom That Changed Everything 29:59 The Day Intuition Saved Her Children's Lives 33:22 The Attempted Attack and the Fire 35:32 Homeless, in Court, and Holding It Together 39:22 The Verdict and the Aftermath 41:15 The Spiritual Awakening That Cracked Her Open 43:51 Morning Routines, Journaling, and the Small Things That Built Her Back 45:00 12 Step Meetings, Sober Apps, and Finding Community 47:02 Studying Addiction and Training to Be a Counselor 47:55 Navigating Cravings Through Strength Training and Presence 50:52 Sitting with the Discomfort of Sobriety 56:05 Feeling Behind and Finding Her Place 57:20 How the Embodied Woman Retreat Restored Her Faith in Women 59:16 Spiritual Practices That Keep Her Connected 01:02:03 Learning to Pray and Finding a Higher Power 01:04:13 Emotional Regulation and the Biggest Shift of All 01:06:00 Self-Esteem, Self-Love, and the Journey Home 01:07:00 The Gift of Being Present with Her Children 01:10:21 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannantayla/ Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What does rock bottom really feel like? How do you find your purpose, build a life that keeps you grounded, and learn to trust that even your hardest experiences are leading you somewhere? In this latest “Ask Me Anything” episode, Ash answers six deeply personal questions about sobriety, spirituality, friendship, marriage, purpose and the practices that continue to shape her life. From the moment everything changed on Valentine’s Day 2020 to the words she wishes she could offer her younger self, Ash shares the truth behind who she is today, what she has learnt along the way, and why she no longer believes life is happening to her, but for her. If you’re on your own transformation journey, or navigating the messy middle between who you were and who you’re becoming, this episode is for you. Episode chapters: 00:00 Bali Retreat Announcement 01:13 Welcome and a Wintery Melbourne Morning 03:31 Q1: The Rock Bottom That Changed Everything 08:10 Entering Rehab and Learning to Sit with Discomfort 12:42 Finding Hope in 12-Step Recovery 15:09 Why Ash Stays Sober Today 17:31 Q2: Finding Purpose After Leaving the Corporate World 19:56 How Sobriety, Meditation, Breathwork, and Yoga Revealed Her Path 22:16 Q3: Daily Practices That Have Had the Biggest Impact 24:36 Readings, Journaling, Two-Way Prayer, and Gratitude 27:02 Movement as an Act of Self-Love 29:25 The Power of Monthly Breathwork 31:37 Q4: How Sobriety Changed Friendships, Relationships, and Marriage 33:51 Letting Go of Old Social Scenes 36:12 Building a Healthy, Sober Partnership 38:37 Q5: The Biggest Lesson Learned Through Adversity 41:01 Q6: What Would You Tell Your Younger Self? 43:29 A Letter to Little Ash Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with Tom Cronin, meditation teacher and international speaker, for a deeply honest conversation about what it really looks like to hold everything together on the outside while quietly falling apart within. Tom opens up about the two parallel lives he was living during his 26 years in the high pressure world of global financial markets, one of outward success, pinstripe suits, and Bondi beachside living, and another of crippling anxiety, panic attacks, chronic insomnia, depression, and a growing reliance on drugs and alcohol that eventually led to a breakdown at age 29. It was from that rock bottom that Tom discovered Vedic meditation, a practice that not only transformed his mental health but ultimately became the foundation of an entirely new life and purpose. Ash and Tom explore the science of stress, why alcohol numbs but never heals, and how meditation actually expands brain function rather than impairing it. Tom shares the journey from seeker to finder to sharer, including the challenges of leaving the golden handcuffs of finance behind, producing his feature film The Portal, and building his mission to inspire a billion people to meditate daily. The conversation weaves through ego, ego transcendence, contribution, and the holistic practices Tom uses to remain grounded and performing at his best. It is a rich and wide-ranging episode about the courage it takes to change course, the intelligence of the body's warning signals, and the profound freedom that comes from finally looking inward. Episode chapters: 00:07 Introducing Tom Cronin 04:44 Hiding Behind the Smile: Life on the Trading Room Floor 06:16 Shame, Guilt, and the North Star 11:48 The Golden Handcuffs 12:54 When Drugs and Alcohol Entered the Picture 15:53 Rock Bottom and the Rashi 18:06 The Breakdown and the Turning Point 20:09 Discovering Vedic Meditation 24:46 The Allostatic Load and Why Alcohol Does Not De-stress 28:43 Why Sobriety Supercharges Meditation 33:37 From Seeker to Finder to Sharer 35:44 Leaving Finance and Leaping into Purpose 38:08 Navigating Challenges with Meditation as a Tool 41:09 The Stillness Project and the Making of The Portal 46:45 The Importance of Service and Contribution 49:02 B1G1: Giving Back Through Business 54:05 Three Non-Negotiables for a Happy, Authentic Life Connect with Tom: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/stillnessproject Website: http://www.tomcronin.com/ Tom's free book to reduce anxiety and depression https://tomcronin.com/free-calm-book/ Socials: https://www.instagram.com/tomcronin/ https://www.facebook.com/tomcronincoach https://www.linkedin.com/in/tomcronin1/ https://www.tiktok.com/@_tomcronin _ Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How much longer are you willing to suffer before something changes? In this powerful solo episode, Ash explores a recurring theme she’s been discussing with people lately: have you truly had enough? Because whether it's alcohol, a relationship, a career, perfectionism, or an old way of thinking, lasting change rarely happens until we're willing to let go of the ideas, stories, and identities that are keeping us stuck. Drawing on her own recovery journey, Ash speaks candidly about the gift of desperation, the stigma surrounding the word alcoholic, and why so many of us continue negotiating with our own suffering long after we've realised something isn't working. She shares what it really takes to create meaningful change and why partial willingness often keeps us trapped in the very cycles we're desperate to escape. This conversation extends far beyond sobriety, inviting listeners to honestly examine where fear, familiarity, and old beliefs may be preventing them from stepping into a more authentic life. Ash also reflects on celebrating her first wedding anniversary and the unexpected lessons that came from eloping in Italy, including a deeper understanding of people pleasing, self-worth, and the quiet cost of abandoning ourselves to keep others comfortable. She shares why esteemable acts are one of the most powerful ways to build genuine self-worth and how authentic relationships are forged when we stop performing for approval. Plus, Ash leaves listeners with five thought-provoking journal prompts designed to help you uncover where you may be ready, or almost ready, to finally let go. Episode chapters: 00:00 Bali Retreat Announcement 01:12 Life Update: A Busy Week and a Wedding Anniversary 03:31 Elopement in Italy and Lessons in People Pleasing 05:53 The Hidden Cost of Saying Yes When You Mean No 08:12 Building Self-Worth Through Esteemable Acts 10:33 Have You Had Enough? 12:53 What It Really Takes to Be Ready for Change 15:16 Breaking the Stigma Around Alcoholism 17:39 The Power of Identification and Finding Your People 19:56 Sobriety as a Superpower 22:18 The Gift of Desperation 24:26 Divine Timing and Letting Go of Old Ideas 26:48 The Difference Between Pain and Suffering 29:09 Reflective Journal Prompts to Provoke Change Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash welcomes back her sober soul sister Danni Carr, for a wide ranging chat on Bali, yoga, and the spiritual practices that underpin their sobriety. Danni shares the Balinese philosophy of Tri Hita Karana, the three-part connection to the divine, community, and land that keeps life in balance, and reflects on how a once reluctant relationship with yoga, born from hungover gym sessions and stormed out shavasanas, slowly became the foundation of her recovery and her sense of coming home to herself. The conversation moves into deeper territory as Danni and Ash explore what the divine means to them now, the science behind spiritual practice and the brain, and the unexpected friendships that sobriety has made possible. Danni speaks candidly about needing daily practice not to recover but to keep expanding and staying regulated, and reminds listeners that spirituality doesn't have to be serious or precise to be powerful. It’s a heartfelt conversation between two friends about connection, consistency, and choosing a life that feels good without needing to numb out to get there. Episode chapters: 00:00 Reconnecting in Bali: A Spiritual Journey 03:56 The Balinese Philosophy of Trihitakarana 07:23 Cultural Immersion: Sharing Bali's Rich Heritage 11:59 The Transformative Power of Yoga 18:55 Finding Stillness: The Challenge of Shivasana 21:17 Embracing Autonomy in Yoga Practice 22:45 Finding the Right Teachers 24:07 Provoking Thought Through Stillness 25:51 Navigating Friendships in Sobriety 28:56 The Importance of Consistency in Recovery 32:27 Spirituality as a Foundation for Sobriety 34:16 Understanding the Divine 37:05 The Value of Connection and Community 37:48 Finding Joy in Spiritual Practices You can connect with Danni through: Check out Danni’s 4 Week Sober & Transformational Challenge IG: @howiquitalcohol Recommendations: The Awakened Brain by Lisa Miller Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Renewal Ritual | September 13th | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash drops in with a mini solo episode to share a life update from her recent trip to Bali and to offer something she herself has been craving - a guided meditation to help you reset. She reflects on attending the AA convention, what it’s like to travel sober after years of using airports and planes as a reason to drink, and the joy of being surrounded by like-minded people who truly understand the recovery journey. She also speaks about the not so pleasant reality of getting Bali Belly, and the lessons in surrender, self-care, and taking quick action. For the first time on the podcast, Ash is also sharing a guided meditation. One she specifically wrote for her Behind The Smile listeners. A 10-minute guided meditation designed to bring you back to yourself, whether you’re at home, walking, or listening on the go, offering a simple way to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with what actually matters today. Episode chapters: 00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude 00:56 Post‑Bali Life Update & Mini Solo Setup 02:10 Bali AA Convention & Joy of Sober Travel 03:11 Sunur, Ubud & Favorite Bali Rituals 05:32 Ubud Hotel Recos, Monkey Story & Bali Belly 10:11 Calling the Doctor & Reframing “What a Gift” 12:32 Coming Home Gently & Loving Life You Don’t Need a Holiday From 14:54 Returning to Meditation & Idea for a “Reset” 17:19 Guided 10‑Minute Reset Meditation 27:14 Final Reflections, Gratitude & Call to Action Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with psychic, healer and mindset coach Shanaye Kuntze for a raw conversation about burnout, self-worth, intuition and the journey back to self. Behind a successful business and years spent helping others, Shanaye found herself completely burnt out, bed-ridden, disconnected and unable to keep going. Together, Ash and Shanaye unpack the hidden ways childhood wounds and the search for love and approval can shape our lives, careers and sense of self. Shanaye shares how breathwork became the catalyst for profound healing and the awakening of her psychic gifts, opening the door to deeper intuition, purpose and trust in herself. They explore boundaries, rest, alignment and what it really means to create a life that feels good, not just one that looks good. This is a powerful conversation about slowing down, listening inward, and finding the courage to follow the voice within. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Shanaye Kuntze 02:48 Navigating Burnout and Its Impact 05:55 The Energy of Doing What You Love 08:59 The Importance of Boundaries 11:55 Hiding Behind a Smile: Shanaye's Photo Reflection 14:54 The Journey Through Burnout 18:06 The Path to Healing and Self-Discovery 21:02 The Role of Competitive Sports in Shanae's Life 24:05 Transitioning from Sports to Fitness Coaching 27:02 The Addiction to Work and Its Consequences 29:46 Finding Light After Rock Bottom 31:15 The Awakening to Breathwork 34:43 Unleashing Psychic Abilities 36:44 Creating Space for Transformation 40:27 Deepening the Breathwork Experience 43:01 The Power of Vulnerability in Community 46:02 Communicating with Spirit Guides 52:17 Reflections on Transformation 55:17 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Shanaye through: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skbodyworks Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/skbodyworks/ Website: https://skbodyworks.com.au Podcast: (Apple) https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-gym-tonic-podcast/id1743895889 (Spotify) https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-gym-tonic-podcast/id1743895889 Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here NOW SOLD OUT! Next Ritual coming in September. Details launching soon. Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash shares a sneak peak into her memoir she's currently writing, tracing how her spiritual life has evolved in recovery. What began as skepticism and resistance toward anything “spiritual” has slowly become the foundation of her day-to-day life, influencing how she relates to herself, others, and the world around her. She opens up about moving from a place of self-hatred, numbing, and constant chasing to an inner landscape shaped by simple, consistent practices like prayer, meditation, gratitude, and quiet acts of service. Ash reflects on how spirituality, for her, isn’t about being “woo-woo” or giving up ambition or joy, but about how you live when no one is watching and how kindly you speak to yourself when things are hard. At its heart, this episode invites listeners to reconsider what spirituality might look like in their own lives, whether they’re on a sober path, a healing journey, or simply curious about something deeper. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Welcome, Intentions & Gratitude 00:56 Memoir Writing & Bali Setup 03:14 Spirituality as the Foundation of Sobriety 05:39 From Non‑Believer to Spiritual Seeker 08:04 Redefining a Higher Power in Recovery 10:26 Gift of Desperation & Early God Experiments 12:48 Daily Prayer, Gratitude & Relationship with God 15:01 Meditation, Listening & Two‑Way Prayer 17:25 Depositing into the Spiritual Bank 19:42 Spiritual Solution to Alcoholism & Old Patterns Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with Alisha Burns, founder of Solo Mum Society, to talk about the deeply personal road that led her to motherhood on her own terms. Alisha shares the heartbreak of infertility, the emotional weight of hidden struggles, and the quiet strength it took to move through a life that often looked fine from the outside while feeling very different underneath. She opens up about the role alcohol played in her life, the pressure of social expectations, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. Ash and Alisha explore what it means to choose donor conception, to step into solo motherhood by choice, and to build a life that feels honest, intentional, and aligned with who you really are. Throughout the conversation, Alisha reflects on the changing shape of family, the power of community support, and the liberation that can come from letting go of the version of life you thought you were meant to have. At its heart, this episode is about grief, growth, and the courage to create a future rooted in authenticity, independence, and love. Trigger Warning: This episode discusses pregnancy loss. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Alicia Burns and Her Journey 03:01 Navigating Motherhood and Business 06:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: Alicia's Photo Reflection 09:11 Infertility Struggles and Emotional Toll 12:09 The Impact of Alcohol on Coping Mechanisms 15:04 The End of a Marriage and New Beginnings 17:58 Finding Strength in Adversity 20:53 The Journey to Motherhood: Donor Conception 23:48 Overcoming Challenges and Embracing Change 30:45 The Journey of Single Motherhood 32:08 Navigating Isolation and Connection 34:29 The Impact of Alcohol Culture 38:52 Realizations and Transformations 43:35 Embracing Independence and Self-Discovery 46:25 The Changing Landscape of Family Dynamics 49:54 Empowerment Through Intentional Choices 52:46 Building Community and Support 54:40 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Website - www.solomumsociety.com Instagram - @noneedforprincecharming Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with holistic psychologist Laura Corcoran to unpack what really happened inside The Embodied Woman retreat. Over four days on the Gold Coast, sixteen women arrived as strangers and left having cracked open years of armour, people pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional suppression. Ash and Laura reflect on the moments that shifted everything, from the resistance and fear women carried on day one, to the tears, breakthroughs, nervous system releases, and deep honesty that unfolded as the weekend progressed. They speak about why so many women feel disconnected from themselves, how high functioning coping mechanisms keep us stuck, and what happens when you finally feel safe enough to be fully seen. This conversation explores embodiment, sisterhood, emotional healing, relationships, boundaries, identity, and the power of being in a room where masks are no longer needed. Ash and Laura also share why transformation happens so quickly in immersive spaces like this, and why the women who attended are already making powerful changes in their lives back home. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from holding it all together, disconnected from yourself, or like you’re craving something deeper than surface level self development, this episode is for you. For more information on The Embodied Woman Retreat 2027 you can send Ash a message on IG here , or email hello@ashbutterss.com Episode Chapters: 00:00 The Energy of the Retreat 02:58 Integration and Connection 06:00 Creating a Safe Space 08:59 Meeting Your Edge 11:53 Transformation Through Action 15:04 Intergenerational Healing 17:56 The Power of Vulnerability 20:59 Sisterhood and Support 24:01 Reflections on the Experience 28:33 Connection and Community in Retreats 30:10 Overcoming Personal Challenges 32:06 Emotional Vulnerability and Heart Opening 33:13 Facing Uncertainty and Embracing Change 36:32 The Journey of Growth and Transformation 38:19 The Power of Embodied Experiences 39:20 Announcing the Next Retreat Reach out to Laura - @hersuccessfulmind Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with Rosie Eldershaw, a country girl turned Melburnian who recently celebrated three years of sobriety after multiple rehabs and several near-fatal rock bottoms. Rosie shares how her drinking progressed from nightly wine to 24/7 spirits and drugs, and how she kept a bubbly, high-functioning facade while quietly falling apart inside. She speaks honestly about seizures, the shame of drinking hand sanitiser and mouthwash, and the terror of knowing something was very wrong but feeling powerless to stop. Rosie reflects on the turning points that finally stuck: finding a 12-step program, allowing others to help, and building a simple, peaceful life she genuinely enjoys with yoga, dog parks, her partner and her dog. This is a grounded, hopeful conversation about ownership, spirituality, and the non-negotiables that now protect her sobriety and happiness. Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Journey of Transformation 03:01 Rosie's Story of Sobriety 05:56 The Struggles Behind the Smile 08:57 The Dangerous Path of Alcoholism 12:07 Childhood and Early Influences 14:48 The Progression of Drinking 17:58 Family Concerns and Consequences 20:54 The Desperation of Addiction 23:55 The Journey to Rehab 26:28 The Journey Through Rehab 29:00 The Turning Point: A Meeting That Changed Everything 32:52 Embracing Spirituality in Recovery 36:57 Overcoming the Ego: Finding a Higher Power 40:46 Living One Day at a Time 46:29 Building Healthy Relationships in Sobriety 53:24 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash returns with a solo episode that’s felt long overdue. After a season of slowing down and stepping back, she’s back behind the mic on her own, not with all the answers, but with a deeper level of honesty about what it really means to accept life as it is. Drawing on yoga philosophy, recovery, and her own lived experience, Ash explores the tension between control and surrender. She opens up about her patterns of perfectionism, the need to hold everything together, and the unexpected peace that came when she finally softened her grip. This is a deeply personal reflection on relationships, family dynamics, and the moments that still stir old wounds. Ash also shares her experience navigating motherhood, fertility, and loss, and how these chapters have shaped her understanding of acceptance in a way no theory ever could. If you’ve been trying to control outcomes, fix everything, or push against what is, this episode offers a different way. A gentle reminder that peace isn’t found in having it all figured out, but in learning to meet yourself exactly where you are. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Intentions 00:57 Embracing Vulnerability in Solo Episodes 04:03 The Journey of Acceptance 10:10 Letting Go of Control 15:00 Navigating Relationships with Acceptance 20:04 The Spiritual Journey and Personal Growth 24:53 Conclusion and Call to Action Join Ash’s community newsletter! Click the link here to join. Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with embodied dance artist and coach Taylah King, whose journey from darkness to rediscovery is both heart-wrenching and deeply inspiring. Taylah opens up about her twelve-year relationship and marriage that began in childhood, the growing inner whisper that something wasn't right, and the vulnerability of walking away from the only safety she'd ever known. From alcohol abuse that started at fourteen to a drug-induced psychosis triggered by ayahuasca, Taylah shares candidly about spending two years dissociated from reality, convinced she was dead, and trapped in a mental health crisis that felt inescapable. She reflects on the terrifying experience of psychosis, the inadequacy of traditional mental health support, and the overwhelming loneliness of not knowing if she'd ever come back. Taylah describes the turning point that changed everything: surrendering to faith, working with a mentor, and falling in love for the first time while sober, which allowed her to finally feel again after years of numbness. Throughout their conversation, Ash and Taylah explore the danger of spiritual bypassing, the power of embodiment practices, and the importance of learning to listen to your nervous system instead of seeking answers outside yourself. Today, Taylah uses dance and movement as medicine, helping others reconnect to their bodies and move freely in the world without substances. Her story is a powerful reminder that even in the deepest darkness, there is always a way back home to yourself. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Taylah's Journey 02:56 Rediscovery Through Dance 06:05 The Struggles Behind the Smile 09:02 Substance Abuse and Its Impact 12:01 The Role of Ayahuasca in Healing 14:58 Experiencing Psychosis 17:55 The Aftermath of Psychosis 21:02 Finding Freedom in Movement 30:11 The Journey Through Psychosis 34:01 Spiritual Awakening and Healing 39:12 The Role of Love and Relationships in Recovery 43:10 Embodiment and Self-Connection 51:13 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Taylah using the links below: Instagram: @taylahkingmovement Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with author Blake D. Bauer, whose book You Were Not Born to Suffer has helped thousands rethink the way they relate to themselves, their pain, and their past. Blake opens up about his own journey through addiction, mental health struggles, and the pressure to keep it all hidden behind a smile, tracing how childhood experiences and emotional confusion shaped the way he moved through the world. He shares how meditation and Eastern philosophies became lifelines and a pathway into healing. Ash and Blake dive into the power of morning meditation, the quiet joy of everyday moments, and what it really means to take radical responsibility for your inner life instead of waiting for someone else to fix it. Throughout their conversation, Blake offers grounded, practical steps for cultivating self-love and rebuilding self-trust: listening to your own needs, telling yourself the truth, and learning to treat yourself with the same honesty and kindness you’d offer someone you care about. If you’re looking for simple ways that will significantly improve your life, this episode is for you! Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Blake Bauer's Journey 02:59 The Importance of Morning Meditation 06:01 Finding Joy in Everyday Life 09:01 The Impact of Travel on Personal Growth 12:04 Hiding Behind a Smile: A Personal Story 15:04 Childhood Influences and Emotional Struggles 17:51 The Role of Sports in Blake's Life 20:50 Consequences of Substance Abuse 23:48 Awakening to a Spiritual Journey 27:06 The Healing Power of Eastern Philosophies 32:57 The Journey to Self-Discovery 34:10 The Importance of Self-Love 38:38 Practical Steps to Cultivate Self-Love 50:23 Rebuilding Self-Trust and Confidence 58:44 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life You can connect with Blake using the links below: Free Meditation: https://vimeo.com/768757355 Website: https://elevatewellness.io/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blakedbauer/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YouWereNotBornToSuffer.by.BlakeDBauer LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/blake-d-bauer Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: The Reconnection Ritual | June 21st | Melbourne - Buy Tickets Here Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with powerhouse performer Naomi Eyers, whose four-decade career has taken her from session singer to London’s West End, global tours with The Fabulous Singlettes, and sharing stages with icons like Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones. Behind the spotlight, Naomi has quietly built over 31 years of sobriety, reshaping not just her life in music, but the way she shows up for herself and others. Naomi opens up about her early experiences with alcohol and drugs, the pull of ambition, and the quiet moments that revealed her relationship with drinking was no longer sustainable. She shares candidly about the ups and downs of her recovery journey including her recent heart attack that became a brutal wake-up call, going to rehab with almost three decades of sobriety, and the spiritual and emotional work that followed. Together, they trace Naomi’s journey through addiction, sobriety, and the long road of staying sober through life’s inevitable turmoil including grief, changing relationships, and the ongoing demands of a life in the arts. Naomi reflects on the role of community, the impact of the relationships that held a mirror up when she needed it most, and the way music, fun, and creativity still sit at the heart of her life today, only now grounded in peace rather than chaos. Naomi shares how today she values spiritual connection, honest self-reflection, service, and simple daily routines that keep her anchored in gratitude and presence. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Retreats and Podcast 01:19 Naomi Eyers: A Life in Music 03:12 Daily Routine and Morning Practices 11:32 Spiritual Connection and Personal Growth 15:03 Finding Fun and Connection in Recovery 18:11 The Search for Inner Peace 22:42 Early Experiences with Alcohol 28:27 Life as a Young Performer 31:47 The Restless Pursuit of Ambition 34:00 Navigating the Music Scene in Sydney 36:47 Living in a Narcissistic Bubble 39:19 The Illusion of Success 42:42 The Catalyst for Change 44:31 Rock Bottom and Relationships 46:30 The Denial of Alcoholism 50:53 The Struggle for Control 55:30 The Moment of Surrender 01:00:12 Awakening to the Truth 01:04:11 Finding a New Path in Recovery 01:08:13 The Struggle of Sobriety 01:09:42 The Journey of Recovery and Relapse 01:11:37 Relationships and Higher Powers 01:13:33 The Impact of Lockdown on Relationships 01:16:39 The Heart Attack: A Wake-Up Call 01:18:28 Seeking Help: The Path to Recovery 01:22:17 Experiences at South Pacific Private 01:25:09 The Importance of Vulnerability in Recovery 01:30:24 The Power of Community and Connection 01:36:56 Letting Go and Embracing Change 01:40:41 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week’s episode is four years in the making, as Ash sits down with her brother, Campbell Butterss, for a conversation that is both deeply personal and authentically honest. Cam reflects on their shared upbringing, growing up in an environment that was at times unpredictable. The subtle dynamics and unspoken patterns that shaped them both, and how sport became an outlet and a way to navigate emotions he didn’t yet have the words for. At sixteen years sober, Cam opens up about his journey into sobriety at 26, the moments that led him to take a more honest look at his relationship with alcohol, and the support systems that helped him find a new way forward. Ash and Cam explore the evolving nature of family and friendships in recovery, what shifts, what stays the same, and what it takes to step out of old roles and into something more aligned. They also touch on the realities of Campbell’s career in real estate, and the tools he’s developed to move through uncertainty and pressure without falling back into old patterns. Woven throughout the conversation are themes of growth, perspective, and the grounding influence of fatherhood, as Campbell shares how becoming a dad has shaped the way he lives, leads, and shows up today. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Retreats 01:19 Meet Campbell Butters: A Personal Journey 02:33 The Importance of Family and Relationships 04:37 Navigating Life's Challenges: A Personal Reflection 06:51 Finding Purpose in Real Estate 09:02 The Roller Coaster of Real Estate 12:16 Tools for Resilience in a Volatile Industry 14:58 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Struggles of 2009 19:00 Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics 21:38 The Role of Sport in Escaping Reality 26:11 The Impact of Alcohol on Life Choices 29:28 Lessons Learned from Family Success 31:10 Teenage Rebellion and Authority Issues 33:05 The Journey Begins: A Geographical Escape 34:34 The Struggles of Alcoholism: A Year of Excess 37:48 The Turning Point: Realizations and Recovery 41:08 Finding Support: The Early Days of Sobriety 43:12 Facing Second Rock Bottom: Dealing with Trauma 47:18 Spiritual Awakening: The Role of Spirituality in Recovery 51:26 Family Dynamics: Navigating Relationships in Recovery 54:10 Friendship Changes: The Pain of Growing Apart 01:00:43 Fatherhood: The Greatest Gift and Responsibility 01:03:16 Non-Negotiables: Keys to a Fulfilling Life You can connect withCampbell using the links below: Instagram: Campbell Butterss Website: Marshall White Real Estate Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Upcoming Workshops: Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with principal consultant and founder of the Energy Collective Co, Jade Donegan, to explore what it really means to care for your inner world while navigating the demands of work, family, and grief. Jade shares how her spirituality helped her to navigate the profound rupture of losing her dad, a loss that reshaped how she sees life, love, and success. She opens up about her journey through grief and forgiveness, the unexpected signs she still receives from her father, and the emotional toll of trying to keep going when your heart is somewhere else. Ash and Jade dive into the importance of emotional health at work, the need for accountability in professional spaces, and how understanding our own energy can change the way we lead, collaborate, and show up for the people around us. Throughout their conversation, Jade reflects on the transformative power of practices like Reiki, and how they’ve helped her build self-awareness, soften self-judgment, and create workplaces where wellbeing is taken seriously. Together, they talk about moving through emotions rather than getting stuck in them, and the courage it takes to let yourself feel everything without shutting down. At its heart, this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with empathy whether you’re sitting in grief, in transition, or in growth. You’ll walk away with insights on how to build a life and career that honour both your humanity and your healing. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Personal Growth 01:51 Meet Jade Donegan: A Journey of Transformation 04:04 Daily Life and Finding Joy in Learning 08:10 The Move to New Zealand: A Family Adventure 11:32 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Impact of Grief 19:06 Navigating Grief: A Personal Story of Loss 23:44 Navigating Numbness and Helplessness 24:26 The Journey of Forgiveness 25:55 A Life-Changing Accident 28:20 Empathy and Forgiveness in Grief 29:36 Signs from Beyond 36:50 The Power of Reiki 43:03 Workplace Wellbeing and Accountability You can connect with Jade using the links below: http://www.energycollectiveco.com.au/ Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with sobriety advocate, author, and entrepreneur, Ian Fee, for a conversation that challenges everything you think you know about recovery. After 34 years of heavy drinking, Ian reached a point where he was willing to try anything to get sober. What followed was one of the most confronting decisions of his life, undergoing 10 days of radical aversion therapy designed to make alcohol physically repulsive. Ian shares what it was really like inside that experience, including daily alcohol-induced vomiting, sedatives and intense therapy. This was the doorway that led him to sobriety and the opportunity to rebuild his life. From losing almost everything to slowly repairing, Ian opens up about healing relationships, restoring self-respect, and learning how to live day by day without escaping himself. Along with losing 85 pounds, Ian has formed a whole new identity and now lives a life that is full of gratitude, purpose and meaning. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Ian Fee's Journey 06:11 The Impact of Sobriety on Daily Life 12:53 Reflections on Family and Presence 18:57 The Evolution of Drinking Habits 21:00 Turning Point: Aversion Therapy Experience 23:37 Exploring Aversion Therapy for Sobriety 26:00 The Turning Point: Realizing the Need for Change 28:31 The Shift in Relationships and Support Systems 32:02 Finding Purpose Through Storytelling 33:04 Building a Foundation for Recovery 38:12 Healing Relationships with Children 40:47 Non-Negotiables for a Happy Life You can connect with Ian using the links below: Website: makeitgreat.me LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-fee-6391b112/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Make-It-Great/100034784122106/ Link to Book: https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Ride-Sobriety-Transformation-Oblivion/dp/B0DHYR1YST/ Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week, Ash sits down with Carly Schwartz, author of I’ll Try Anything Twice , to talk about what it really looks like to live through the darkest corners of your own mind and make it out the other side. Carly traces her journey from childhood anxiety to years of depression, substance use, and suicidal ideation, sharing the moments of denial, fear, and quiet desperation that shaped her path. She opens up about the turning point of finally naming her addiction and the life-changing experience of going to rehab, not as a neat overnight fix, but as the beginning of a very human, very imperfect recovery. Ash and Carly explore the messy middle of healing: the shame that keeps us silent, the relief of being truly seen, and the deep importance of community and storytelling in breaking through isolation. Throughout their conversation, Carly reflects on what it means to personalise recovery rather than squeeze it into a one-size-fits-all mold. She speaks to the need for flexibility, self-acceptance, and learning to listen to your own needs as they evolve over time. At its heart, this episode is a testament to resilience and connection, a reminder that while recovery is rarely linear, it is always possible, especially when we’re willing to tell the truth, reach out, and let others walk beside us. Episode chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Carly Schwartz and Her Journey 11:03 The Struggles Behind the Smile 17:09 Childhood Anxiety and Early Signs of Depression 23:20 The Dark Side of Substance Use and Suicidal Ideation 28:26 The Struggle with Substance Use and Denial 32:03 The Turning Point: Seeking Help and Going to Rehab 37:00 Building a New Life in Recovery 45:27 Personalizing Recovery: Finding What Works 51:03 The Power of Community in Recovery Support Services If this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling. Connect with Carly using the links below: Website - https://www.carly.ink/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/carlicita LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlicita/ Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/236558341-i-ll-try-anything-twice Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Anything-Twice-Misadventures-Self-Medicated/dp/B0FD8RPH9L/ Bookshop - https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-ll-try-anything-twice-misadventures-of-a-self-medicated-life-carly-schwartz/591dca26d9b8c510 Follow and connect with Ash on: Instagram @ashbutterss TikTok @behindthesmilewithashb Website www.ashbutterss.com Join Ash on retreat in 2026! The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026 Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here ! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
