Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Motherhood, changing family dynamics, and midlife transitions can change much more than your daily routine—they can change your identity, your marriage, and your sexual desire. In this conversation, Janna and Mindy talk about the enormous transition into motherhood, what happens when your kids need you less, and why becoming an “empty nester” doesn’t automatically mean you’re ready for more sex. They also explore how to figure out what you actually want after years of taking care of everyone else, and why your intimate life doesn’t have to stay the same forever. Instead of forcing yourself to want the sex you think you’re supposed to want, you can learn how to create a sex life that changes and grows with you. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

When Ben asked his wife of 31 years how often she actually wanted to have sex, her answer — “almost never” — completely shocked him. In this conversation, Ben shares what he couldn’t see before Doing It Together, what happened when he chose curiosity over defensiveness, and how he’s learning to create a more mutually enjoyable intimate life with his wife. It’s an honest conversation about good intentions, unexpected blind spots, and what can happen when both partners are willing to keep learning. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

In this episode, Sara shares the powerful journey of realizing that much of what she believed she was supposed to want sexually wasn’t actually what she wanted. She opens up about feeling inadequate, questioning what was wrong with her, and the relief that came from learning to recognize a “no” in her own body. Sara and Janna also explore what changed in her relationship when they took intercourse off the table, including the surprising ways their connection shifted outside the bedroom. At the heart of her story is a simple but profound realization: “It feels so much lighter in here. Like the relationship is so much lighter.” Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Katie spent years believing her sex life was good enough, until she began questioning how much she was actually enjoying it and how much she was simply tolerating. In this conversation, she shares how marriage, children, menopause, and cultural messages gradually disconnected her from her own desires. Katie and Janna explore why so many couples follow a formula for sex instead of discovering what genuinely feels good to both people. Katie shares how learning that she was allowed to have preferences changed the way she communicates with her husband and transformed her approach to intimacy. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

What if your anger isn't the problem—but a sign that something finally makes sense? In this episode, Janna sits down with Renee to explore the surprising emotion that surfaced as she began unlearning decades of harmful messages about women, sex, and marriage. What she once believed was a personal failure turned out to be something much bigger, and that realization changed everything. Together, they discuss why anger can be a healthy response to injustice, the cultural lies that keep both women and men disconnected from authentic intimacy, and the unexpected insights that transformed Renee's marriage. From a comment made by a teenage boyfriend to a surprising perspective on menopause, this conversation is full of hope for anyone ready to see their story through a new lens. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

What if sex was never meant to create connection—but to celebrate the connection that's already there? In this episode, Janna sits down with John for a thoughtful and honest conversation about one of the most common dynamics in long-term relationships: when one partner looks to sex for closeness while the other needs closeness before they desire sex. John shares how he came to realize that he was asking sex to do a job it was never meant to do. Together, they explore the emotions hiding beneath sexual rejection, the cultural messages that shape our expectations around intimacy, and the powerful shift that happened when he stopped focusing on how to get his wife to want sex and started building genuine emotional connection instead. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

When Penny began questioning the messages she'd received about sex, she uncovered something far deeper than a lack of desire. For years, she'd been taught that sex was something she owed her husband rather than an experience she was allowed to enjoy herself. Penny shares how those beliefs shaped her marriage, her sexuality, and her sense of self—and what finally helped her begin experiencing intimacy in a completely different way. Together, Janna and Penny explore the cultural and religious messages that disconnect women from pleasure, why "more foreplay" wasn't the solution, the hidden pressure Penny didn't realize she was carrying, and how emotional safety became the turning point in her relationship. If you've ever wondered whether you're the problem—or struggled to understand why sex feels more like a responsibility than a source of joy—this episode is for you. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

For the 200th episode of the Doing It Together podcast, the tables are turned as Janna sits in the guest seat while her daughter interviews her about the journey behind the microphone. Together, they look back on four years of honest conversations about sex, desire, marriage, and relationships, exploring how the podcast has evolved, the lessons learned along the way, and the moments that have challenged Janna the most. Janna also shares the personal experiences that have shaped her work- from navigating divorce and remarriage to finding the courage to speak openly about one of culture's most taboo topics. It's a heartfelt, behind-the-scenes conversation about vulnerability, consistency, changing minds, and the hope that comes from helping thousands of people realize they are not broken and they are not alone. Whether you've been listening since episode one or you've just discovered the podcast, this milestone episode is a celebration of the community we've built together and a look at where the journey goes next. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace? In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection. They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it impacts both women’s sexuality and men’s relationship with intimacy. Joanna shares what she and her partner are doing differently now to move away from obligation and toward a more connected, playful, and fulfilling sex life. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them? Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willing to sit with her in the darkness. Together, Janna and Derek explore the difference between compassion and rescuing, how shame and discomfort can impact intimacy, and why seeing your partner as "broken" can prevent true connection. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention? In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotionally connected to their inner world. Together, they explore why women are often socialized to be more attuned than men, how this dynamic can impact relationships, and the practical ways they're learning to think about and care for each other throughout the day. From feeling more seen and understood to creating deeper emotional and sexual connection, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on what it means to truly know and support your partner. Listen to Part 1 of this series here: https://jannadentonhowes.com/185-mutual-vulnerability-for-a-better-sex-life/ Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation? What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two sisters whose experiences with sex, desire, marriage, motherhood, and womanhood couldn't look more different on the surface. Together, they unpack the impossible expectations placed on women, the messages they inherited about sexuality, and the ways both high desire and low desire can leave women feeling like they're somehow falling short. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life. At 58, Brian opens up about choosing self-reflection over defensiveness and the profound shifts that became possible when he and his wife started talking more honestly about intimacy and safety. This episode is a reminder that meaningful change is possible when we’re willing to listen, learn, and do things differently. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together , Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey? In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the way. Their stories are a reminder that when people are willing to do the work and face difficult truths, profound shifts can happen, intimacy can deepen, and new ways of connecting become possible. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program. We talk about: What do the men’s calls actually feel like? What do women talk about in week one? What happens when someone’s partner isn’t taking things as seriously? What emotions come up through the process What surprises people once they get inside? And what realistic change can couples actually expect? Even if you aren’t considering joining us in June, this episode is a sweet one. The deadline to join Doing It Together is May 26th. Hope you get to experience this journey, it’s a good one. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years? In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women are taught about sex and relationships. Together, Erica and Janna unpack the messages many women grow up with around sex, marriage, motherhood, and obligation, and explore what begins to shift when couples stop focusing on performance and start building experiences rooted in curiosity, comfort, and connection. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them, rather than questioning the system itself. Joined by renowned researcher Dr. Lori Brotto, this conversation explores what actually makes sex feel good—and worth wanting. From understanding why low desire is so common to redefining pleasure as the goal (not performance or frequency), this episode challenges everything you’ve been taught about intimacy. If you’ve ever felt like sex is something you “should” want but don’t, this will offer clarity, validation, and a new way forward. Find all info about Dr. Lori Brotto here: https://www.loribrotto.com/ Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture. Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped his expectations around intimacy—and the courage it took to face that truth. His story is a reminder that while change is simple in theory, it requires a willingness to listen, grow, and see things differently. If you’ve ever felt like your partner just isn’t getting it, this episode offers a hopeful glimpse into what’s possible when they finally do. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women? In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken. But this conversation doesn’t stop there. Anne shares how she began to question everything, find her voice, and create a more honest, pleasurable, and connected relationship with her partner. If you’ve ever wondered why sex doesn’t feel the way it “should,” this episode might change the way you see everything. Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast. I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts. I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “start here” place to go (with 188 episodes, it just doesn’t work to begin with episode 1, although many try…). And, lastly, I knew that both men and women needed guidance on how to start the conversation with their partners in a way that felt safe and doable. And I’m SO FREAKIN’ HAPPY to announce that I have accomplished all of this and am ready to share it with you. Today’s episode on the podcast is part of the men’s side of this "beginner's guide” but I’m sure everyone will enjoy it. I’ve edited 6 stories together- 3 from men and 3 from women, to highlight the commonalities of the sex struggle so many heterosexual couples face. It’s an episode that I hope makes you see the bigger picture of what we are all facing from culture with individual differences sprinkled in. If you want the full beginner’s guide, starting with the intro videos, here are the links: Women’s Video Men’s Video (If you are looking for the conversation guides, sign-up for the videos and you’ll find them on the next page.) Sign up for Janna's free class , " The Truth About Women's Libido: Why Everything You've Tried Hasn't Worked and What To Do Instead." Watch the class as a couple or on your own. Classes happen on Sept. 21 and 22. Ready to learn as a couple? Registration is open for Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026. Deadline to register is Sept. 29. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.