Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.
Published by Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert
Society & Culture
Health & Fitness
Sexuality
Relationships
Doing It Together is about empowering women and men to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. This podcast addresses the common dynamic in a heterosexual relationship in which the wife doesn’t want and enjoy sex and the husband does. Too often, the focus is placed on labels like “low libido” and “low sex drive” without addressing the root issues including physical and emotional safety, shame, porn use, unintentional pressure, lack of emotional awareness, and many others. I’m Janna Denton-Howes, a Relationship Coach and Sex Educator who has specialized in this one area for the last 7 years, helping thousands of couples create a sex life that both partners can look forward to and genuinely enjoy. I’ve developed Doing It Together (formally known as “Wanting It More”), a unique program offering both men and women the tools, skills, and support to do the work required for a healthy and sustainable intimate life. If you’re looking for a fresh perspective on how to have a great sex life that is truly nourishing, connecting, and fulfilling without any feelings of obligation, duty, or guilt, this is the podcast for you!
What Your Anger Is Trying to Tell You - with Renee | Ep. 203
43 min
What if your anger isn't the problem—but a sign that something finally makes sense? In this episode, Janna sits down with Renee to explore the surprising emotion that surfaced as she began unlearning decades of harmful messages about women, sex, and marriage. What she once believed was a personal failure turned out to be something much bigger, and that realization changed everything. Together, they discuss why anger can be a healthy response to injustice, the cultural lies that keep both women and men disconnected from authentic intimacy, and the unexpected insights that transformed Renee's marriage. From a comment made by a teenage boyfriend to a surprising perspective on menopause, this conversation is full of hope for anyone ready to see their story through a new lens. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
What Sex Was Never Meant to Do - with John | Ep. 202
46 min
What if sex was never meant to create connection—but to celebrate the connection that's already there? In this episode, Janna sits down with John for a thoughtful and honest conversation about one of the most common dynamics in long-term relationships: when one partner looks to sex for closeness while the other needs closeness before they desire sex. John shares how he came to realize that he was asking sex to do a job it was never meant to do. Together, they explore the emotions hiding beneath sexual rejection, the cultural messages that shape our expectations around intimacy, and the powerful shift that happened when he stopped focusing on how to get his wife to want sex and started building genuine emotional connection instead. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
What Happened When She Stopped Believing She Was the Problem - with Penny | Ep. 201
51 min
When Penny began questioning the messages she'd received about sex, she uncovered something far deeper than a lack of desire. For years, she'd been taught that sex was something she owed her husband rather than an experience she was allowed to enjoy herself. Penny shares how those beliefs shaped her marriage, her sexuality, and her sense of self—and what finally helped her begin experiencing intimacy in a completely different way. Together, Janna and Penny explore the cultural and religious messages that disconnect women from pleasure, why "more foreplay" wasn't the solution, the hidden pressure Penny didn't realize she was carrying, and how emotional safety became the turning point in her relationship. If you've ever wondered whether you're the problem—or struggled to understand why sex feels more like a responsibility than a source of joy—this episode is for you. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
200 Episodes Later: Janna Gets Honest About the Last Four Years- with Janna's Daughter | Ep. 200
30 min
For the 200th episode of the Doing It Together podcast, the tables are turned as Janna sits in the guest seat while her daughter interviews her about the journey behind the microphone. Together, they look back on four years of honest conversations about sex, desire, marriage, and relationships, exploring how the podcast has evolved, the lessons learned along the way, and the moments that have challenged Janna the most. Janna also shares the personal experiences that have shaped her work- from navigating divorce and remarriage to finding the courage to speak openly about one of culture's most taboo topics. It's a heartfelt, behind-the-scenes conversation about vulnerability, consistency, changing minds, and the hope that comes from helping thousands of people realize they are not broken and they are not alone. Whether you've been listening since episode one or you've just discovered the podcast, this milestone episode is a celebration of the community we've built together and a look at where the journey goes next. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
When Sex Becomes Emotional Currency – with Joanna | Ep. 199
36 min
Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace? In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection. They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it impacts both women’s sexuality and men’s relationship with intimacy. Joanna shares what she and her partner are doing differently now to move away from obligation and toward a more connected, playful, and fulfilling sex life. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Why “Fixing” Your Partner Can Destroy Connection - with Derek | Ep. 198
1 hr 5 min
What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them? Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willing to sit with her in the darkness. Together, Janna and Derek explore the difference between compassion and rescuing, how shame and discomfort can impact intimacy, and why seeing your partner as "broken" can prevent true connection. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Mutual Attunement for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 197
34 min
What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention? In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotionally connected to their inner world. Together, they explore why women are often socialized to be more attuned than men, how this dynamic can impact relationships, and the practical ways they're learning to think about and care for each other throughout the day. From feeling more seen and understood to creating deeper emotional and sexual connection, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on what it means to truly know and support your partner. Listen to Part 1 of this series here: https://jannadentonhowes.com/185-mutual-vulnerability-for-a-better-sex-life/ Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Two Sisters, Two Stories, One Impossible Standard - with Lauren & Christine | Ep. 196
50 min
When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation? What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two sisters whose experiences with sex, desire, marriage, motherhood, and womanhood couldn't look more different on the surface. Together, they unpack the impossible expectations placed on women, the messages they inherited about sexuality, and the ways both high desire and low desire can leave women feeling like they're somehow falling short. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Men, Marriage, and the Conversations We Were Never Taught to Have - with Brian | Ep. 195
39 min
In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life. At 58, Brian opens up about choosing self-reflection over defensiveness and the profound shifts that became possible when he and his wife started talking more honestly about intimacy and safety. This episode is a reminder that meaningful change is possible when we’re willing to listen, learn, and do things differently. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Real Couples, Real Stories, Real Change: Inside Doing It Together | Ep. 194
50 min
At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together , Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey? In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the way. Their stories are a reminder that when people are willing to do the work and face difficult truths, profound shifts can happen, intimacy can deepen, and new ways of connecting become possible. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
What It Really Feels Like to Go Through Doing It Together- with Justin | Ep.192
53 min
On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program. We talk about: What do the men’s calls actually feel like? What do women talk about in week one? What happens when someone’s partner isn’t taking things as seriously? What emotions come up through the process What surprises people once they get inside? And what realistic change can couples actually expect? Even if you aren’t considering joining us in June, this episode is a sweet one. The deadline to join Doing It Together is May 26th. Hope you get to experience this journey, it’s a good one. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
The Hidden Reason Sex Started Feeling Unsafe - with Erica | Ep. 192
48 min
What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years? In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women are taught about sex and relationships. Together, Erica and Janna unpack the messages many women grow up with around sex, marriage, motherhood, and obligation, and explore what begins to shift when couples stop focusing on performance and start building experiences rooted in curiosity, comfort, and connection. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Why “Meeting His Needs” Is Killing Your Desire - with Dr. Lori Brotto | Ep. 191
35 min
Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them, rather than questioning the system itself. Joined by renowned researcher Dr. Lori Brotto, this conversation explores what actually makes sex feel good—and worth wanting. From understanding why low desire is so common to redefining pleasure as the goal (not performance or frequency), this episode challenges everything you’ve been taught about intimacy. If you’ve ever felt like sex is something you “should” want but don’t, this will offer clarity, validation, and a new way forward. Find all info about Dr. Lori Brotto here: https://www.loribrotto.com/ Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Why Your Partner Isn’t Hearing You (Yet) - with Anthony | Ep. 190
52 min
Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture. Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped his expectations around intimacy—and the courage it took to face that truth. His story is a reminder that while change is simple in theory, it requires a willingness to listen, grow, and see things differently. If you’ve ever felt like your partner just isn’t getting it, this episode offers a hopeful glimpse into what’s possible when they finally do. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Why Intercourse Doesn’t Feel Good for Many Women - with Anne | Ep.189
39 min
Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women? In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken. But this conversation doesn’t stop there. Anne shares how she began to question everything, find her voice, and create a more honest, pleasurable, and connected relationship with her partner. If you’ve ever wondered why sex doesn’t feel the way it “should,” this episode might change the way you see everything. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
6 Stories That Show You’re Not Alone in Your Sex Life Struggles | Ep. 188
32 min
I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast. I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts. I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “start here” place to go (with 188 episodes, it just doesn’t work to begin with episode 1, although many try…). And, lastly, I knew that both men and women needed guidance on how to start the conversation with their partners in a way that felt safe and doable. And I’m SO FREAKIN’ HAPPY to announce that I have accomplished all of this and am ready to share it with you. Today’s episode on the podcast is part of the men’s side of this "beginner's guide” but I’m sure everyone will enjoy it. I’ve edited 6 stories together- 3 from men and 3 from women, to highlight the commonalities of the sex struggle so many heterosexual couples face. It’s an episode that I hope makes you see the bigger picture of what we are all facing from culture with individual differences sprinkled in. If you want the full beginner’s guide, starting with the intro videos, here are the links: Women’s Video Men’s Video (If you are looking for the conversation guides, sign-up for the videos and you’ll find them on the next page.) Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Breaking the "Duty Sex" Cycle in Marriage - with Jo | Ep. 187
51 min
Jo shares her journey from confusion and pressure around sex to rediscovering connection, safety, and genuine pleasure with her husband. She opens up about: How cultural messaging shaped her relationship with sex The hidden impact of “obligation” and silent pressure in long-term relationships The turning point that helped her and her partner finally understand each other Why emotional safety—not technique—is the foundation of real intimacy If you’ve ever felt disconnected, confused, or pressured in your intimate life, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, hopeful, and inspired. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
When You Feel You're the 'Broken One' in Your Relationship - with Liz | Ep. 186
40 min
Do you ever feel like you are the one with all the "baggage" in your relationship? This is exactly how Liz felt for years. In every category she looked- religious, cultural upbringing, and past life choices, she felt inferior to her spouse. To make up for the gap, she tried to be the “perfect” wife by providing her husband sex and keeping her body up even through four pregnancies. No surprise, it didn’t work out great. Join us as we talk through: The two major turning points in her marriage and how they helped transform her relationship. Her reckoning with the cultural and religious teachings she was raised on. What she’s experimenting with now to reclaim her joy and autonomy. Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Mutual Vulnerability for a Better Sex Life | Ep. 185
47 min
When a couple can meet each other with non-judgmental empathy, it draws you closer to each other. Nobody is shamed, questioned or put down and it leads to a deeper intimacy. This is the power of mutual vulnerability and it’s one of the bedrocks of a healthy marriage (and sex life). But most people don’t do a very good job at it! (which makes sense- who taught us how???) In today’s podcast episode, my husband and I explored this topic, sharing what we were taught about vulnerability, offering a role-play of what to do (and not to do), and practical tips on responding to vulnerability effectively. If you thought new sex positions were the key to hot sex, think again! Mutual vulnerability leads to safety and you can’t get sexier than safety! I hope you enjoy this feel-good episode 🙂 Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
Improving Gender Equality at Home - with author Kate Mangino | Ep. 184
1 hr 2 min
In my work, I highlight the terrible things that gender inequality does to a couple’s sexual relationship but it extends far beyond the bedroom impacting connection, financial health, individual happiness, physical health, and, ultimately, relationship satisfaction. Which is why as soon as I finished the book, “ Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home ” by Kate Mangino , I knew I needed her to come on the podcast. Thankfully, she agreed 🙂 In this episode of the podcast, we talk about: The consequences of not working towards equality in the home as well as the benefits Common excuses for not working towards equality How men can grow into equal partners Lessons from 40 men who are working towards equality in their marriages Advice for women trying to move towards gender equality You can find out more about Kate and her work here: https://www.katemangino.com/ Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women. Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together . Next round runs Oct./Nov. 2026.
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Observed July 31, 2026.
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