Published by Stephanie Rigg
Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
Listen on Apple Podcasts22 min
In today's episode, we're talking about why you struggle to "get over" your ex. This is something so many people struggle with when it comes to break-ups — feeling like the person who left us still occupies so much of our mental and emotional energy, and not knowing how to untether ourselves from them (or perhaps not fully wanting to). I'll share some thoughts on managing expectations around a break-up, the difference between thoughts and actions, and how you can move through a challenging period with self-respect and dignity. Links Register for my free break-up training here Follow me on Instagram Visit my website
32 min
Join the Secure Self Challenge here Today's episode is part 3 of my Attachment & Conflict series, and we're talking all about how to transform the way you do conflict. I'll be sharing general tips and mindset shifts for how to approach conflict, as well as specific guidance for both anxious and avoidant partners on what to do (and not to do) to avoid getting pulled into those all-too-familiar negative cycles.
24 min
Register for the Secure Self Challenge here In today's episode, we're talking once again about how attachment patterns shape our experience of conflict in relationships, with a particular focus on avoidant attachment. We talk about why avoidant folks instinctively pull back from conflict, as well as often-used conflict strategies including appeasement, defensiveness, dismissal, and disengagement.
10 min
Access the replay for the Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour workshop In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the question of: "How do I talk to my partner about their avoidant attachment without them feeling labelled?" I share some thoughts on how best to approach this, and what isn't likely to land well.
23 min
Last chance to register for the free Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour workshop Today's episode is the fourth and final instalment of my deep dive series into fearful avoidant attachment, and this episode is one for the partners (with a focus on anxiously attached partners). I share guidance around how to be mindful of your own tendency to overfunction, and how this can lead you into codependent dynamics. I also offer some thoughts on how best to lovingly support your fearful avoidant partner, while also honouring yourself and ensuring there is accountability around any difficult behaviours in the relationship. Links Visit my website: stephanierigg.com Free resources for anxious attachment: stephanierigg.com/free-resources
12 min
When you've had a string of heartbreaks, disappointments, and bad dating experiences, remaining hopeful can be a big ask of your system. In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on why forcing yourself to feel hopeful might not be the thing you need, and why it might be best to give yourself the time to grieve, reflect, and grow before forcing yourself back into the dating arena. Register for my Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour Workshop
19 min
Subscribe to my Substack For many of us who struggle with letting go (and tend towards relationship-fixing at all costs), walking away can feel like a measure of absolute last resort — like almost nothing would justify the immense and all-consuming pain of having to let go of someone you love. And when you layer in self-doubt and a deep fear of regret, it can feel next to impossible. Sadly, it’s not a decision anyone but you can make. But there are absolutely ways to make the decision a clearer one — one that you trust in the rightness of, and can confidently stand behind — even if it doesn’t make it any easier . Register for the free workshop on Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviours: https://stephanierigg.com/protest-workshop-opt-in
8 min
Register for my upcoming live workshop here In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the question of "How long to keep pursuing a connection with someone who's great and ticks all my boxes — except that I'm not physically attracted to them?" I share some thoughts on why this can happen — particularly if your attraction template has historically gravitated towards inconsistent and unpredictable connections — and how long you should wait and see before calling it.
21 min
Register for my upcoming free workshop on Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviours In this new series on attachment and conflict, we're exploring the deeper layers that make relational conflict so challenging, and how we can shift those patterns. This first instalment is all about the anxious attachment experience of conflict: how we can swing between conflict-avoidance and conflict-pursuit, and how our efforts at safeguarding the connection can backfire. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the series! Links Free resources for anxious attachment: stephanierigg.com/free-resources Subscribe to my Substack: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/ Subscribe to my Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmxC4jls4uolRKhFWV_RIoA/
16 min
If you've been "doing the work" for a while now, it's likely you have a firm grip on why you are the way you are. But many of us find ourselves stuck at the "knowledge and awareness" stage, struggling to put our insights into practice in a way that translates into lasting change. In this episode, I'm sharing thoughts on how to bridge that gap so that you don't find yourself on a never-ending hamster wheel of information-gathering that keeps you from experiencing relationships differently. Links Free training on healing anxious attachment: http://stephanierigg.com/haa-webinar-opt-in Free resources: http://stephanierigg.com/free-resources Attachment quiz: http://stephanierigg.com/quiz Substack: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/
24 min
This week's episode is the much-requested Part 3 of my deep dive on fearful avoidant attachment — and today, we're talking about what it takes to heal. We cover shame, self-compassion, accountability, self-sabotage, nervous system regulation, and more. And while far from being exhaustive, my hope is that today's episode will offer a roadmap to support you on your path to healing if you struggle with fearful avoidant patterns. Subscribe to my Substack Register for my free workshop on Understanding Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviours: http://stephanierigg.com/protest-workshop-opt-in
8 min
Subscribe to my Substack, Notes to Self I've recently launched on Substack, and today's episode is a read-out of a recent article I wrote there titled The One Thing You Should Never Do in Relationships. If you enjoy this episode, I'd be so grateful if you could head on over to Substack and subscribe to my page there for more long-form articles about attachment, love and relationships: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/
17 min
"How do I stop obsessively ruminating about the person who rejected me?" is one of the most frequently asked questions I receive — and in today's episode, we're talking all about why it's so easy to fall into the trap of fixating on someone who didn't choose you. Whether it's the situationship that never became anything more, the person who ghosted you or left you without warning, or something in between, the experience of obsessing over someone is familiar to many of us. But as we'll talk about, it's often less about them, and more about what we make it mean about ourselves. Links Subscribe to my Substack: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/ Free break-up training: http://stephanierigg.com/hl-webinar-opt-in Free training for anxious attachment: http://stephanierigg.com/haa-webinar-opt-in
9 min
In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering a listener's question about feeling like she's fallen behind in life after going through a break-up in her mid-30s, particularly as most of her friends are partnered and having kids. I talk about the very real experience of the "biological clock" factor, and how to acknowledge the disappointments and unexpected turns while also embracing the season you're in. Links Subscribe to my Substack: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/ Free resources for anxious attachment: stephanierigg.com/free-resources Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephanie__rigg Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmxC4jls4uolRKhFWV_RIoA/
21 min
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel How do our attachment patterns influence our relationship to — and experience of — sex and intimacy? That's what we're exploring in today's podcast deep dive. We'll cover how each attachment style relates to sex, common sensitivities and pain points, and what the sexual relationship looks like over the life cycle of the relationship. We'll also touch on common sexual struggles in anxious-avoidant dynamics specifically. Links Free training on anxious attachment Free resources for attachment healing
9 min
Subscribe to my YouTube channel Is it possible to become anxiously attached as a result of dating someone with avoidant patterns? That's the listener question I'm answering in today's Ask Steph episode. We'll talk about how our patterns can arise in response to someone else's, while also acknowledging fundamental differences in how people with secure vs. insecure attachment styles tend to respond to dysfunctional behaviour. Links Free training for anxious attachment Follow me on Instagram Take my attachment styles quiz
17 min
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Does your partner get defensive easily, even when you feel like you weren't being attacking or critical? If so, today's episode is for you. Being on the receiving end of someone's chronic defensiveness can be extremely frustrating and disheartening, and it can feel like a real block to connection. But the way we typically respond — by making someone wrong for their defensiveness — can entrench the very pattern we're hoping to shift. Links Free workshop on anxious-avoidant relationship dynamics Understanding Your Avoidant Partner course Secure Together couples course
9 min
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel How do you navigate a situation where your partner isn't respecting the boundaries that you've set? That's the listener question I'm answering in today's Ask Steph episode. Boundaries can be fraught for those of us with insecure attachment patterns, and it's easy to swing between demands and capitulation — neither of which are particularly helpful. We'll talk about how to reorient to what is within your control rather than making repeated pleas of someone else to change their behaviour to accommodate you, which is a recipe for frustration and resentment. Links Free anxious attachment healing workshop Free resources for attachment healing Take my attachment quiz
18 min
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Today's episode is a follow-up from last week's deep dive into fearful avoidant attachment. This week, we're looking at the fearful avoidant in relationships — how these patterns play out, how that changes over the lifecycle of a relationship, and how it can differ based on the other person's attachment style. Links Understanding Your Avoidant Partner Course Free resources for attachment healing Take my attachment style quiz
11 min
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel In today's Ask Steph episode, we're talking about how to balance accepting your partner for who they are, while also encouraging them to grow. This is a delicate dance for many of us, and can reveal our own patterns of wanting to fix and save people. We'll talk about where the healthy middle lies between acceptance and change, and how you can create a relational environment that supports growth. Links Free resources for attachment healing Take my attachment styles quiz
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Observed July 30, 2026.
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