Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

What if the reason you feel like you're always “nagging” has nothing to do with you being difficult — and everything to do with deliberate provocation? In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and Lynn Strathdee break down the hidden mechanics behind pathological provocation — why abusers poke, prod, and sabotage your boundaries at bedtime and beyond. How they insist on misunderstanding you, wear you down, and then recast you as the “whining nag” to make themselves the victim. This isn’t about the victim — it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse Bring your questions live — Tuesday 60-min Live Stream (4 PM CDT/5 PM ET) & Wednesday Live Q&A at 11 AM CDT / Noon ET. LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/ #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #TraumaBonding #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #MentalHealth Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after? What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind narcissistic collapse and what it takes to step out of that role: • Why the dramatic display is often a performance to block abandonment • Why true collapse requires remorse and self-reflection • How the defensive structure drops when challenged, then reframes and re-hardens • Why they demand you affirm they are still good #NarcissisticCollapse #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #EmotionalAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #MentalHealth #HealingJourney Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the trait everyone praises you for is the exact one the narcissist is scanning for? That isn’t naivety. That isn’t missing the red flags. Agreeableness — assuming people are honest, wanting harmony, believing no one would be cruel on purpose — is a readable personality profile, and predators read it faster than you can. In this episode, Kerry sits down with therapist and author Chelsey Brooke Cole. Cole married two narcissists — one grandiose, one covert — while practicing as a clinician herself. She breaks down why agreeable people are targeted rather than unlucky, how narcissists game the therapy room while the professionals in it cheer them on, and the chilling answer her husband gave when she asked him what shame actually meant to him. 🔒 Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Chelsey give you the single question that collapses a gaslighting conversation in real time — the one you ask yourself when you can't tell whether you're being unreasonable or being worked. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here. CHELSEY BROOKE COLE is a licensed psychotherapist, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist, and best-selling author of If Only I'd Known! How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth. She specializes in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma, with her work routinely featured in outlets like USA Today, HuffPost, and Psychology Today. She is the host of Restoring Resilience, a podcast dedicated to helping survivors heal and reclaim their lives, and the creator of the program Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse. Book: If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth Masterclass: The Narcissist Playbook Website #NarcissisticAbuse #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #CovertNarcissist #BetrayalTrauma #PredatorPsychology #ToxicRelationships Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does one person in the family end up carrying everything — the blame, the mood, the thing nobody will say out loud? That wasn't a flaw in you. That was a role, and someone cast you in it. Scapegoating is bullying that a family agrees not to stop, and it works because it holds the group together at your expense. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Kerry breaks down why families choose a scapegoat, why the role follows you into adulthood, and why none of it was ever about you: • Why scapegoating is really bullying — and why a smear campaign is the same dynamic • The four reasons a family picks a scapegoat, including the truth-teller who sees too clearly • What the people who witnessed it learned to do instead of stopping it • Introjection: how you took in a role that was never yours to carry • Why the doubt you feel afterward makes sense — and why it was always about them Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if it only takes him an hour to know exactly how to control you? That wasn't chemistry. That wasn't "instant connection." A predator ran a background check on your character to know if you had the exact traits he needs to exploit. In this episode, Dr. Kerry sits down with returning author and expert, Don Hennessy. Hennessy has spent decades working directly with abusive men. He breaks down the calculated, deliberate selection process predators use to identify and groom targets. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and hear Hennessy's blunt verdict on whether predators can ever truly change — and the one phrase he says you should never say to an abuser again. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse DON HENNESSY is an author and educator who has spent decades working directly with groups of abusive men to understand the deliberate, calculated psychology behind intimate partner abuse. His work challenges the popular myth that abusers "lose control," arguing instead that their behavior is a conscious strategy — and that recognizing the pattern early is the most effective form of protection. Books: The Mind of the Intimate Male Abuser : How He Gets into Her Head: The Mind of the Male Intimate Abuser Steps to Freedom: Escaping Intimate Control How He Wins: Abusive Intimate Partners Going Free Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why do you keep replaying a relationship that's already over — running the same five minutes on a loop, searching for the one detail that will finally make sense of it? That wasn't you overthinking. That was your nervous system trying to close a case file that has no ending. You survived a partner who gaslit you and switched faces so that the "true" version of them was never verifiable. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment. In this episode, Dr. Kerry breaks down why narcissistic relationships in particular trigger relentless rumination, and why logic can't stop it: Why the gaslighting-and-Jekyll-and-Hyde split that makes it difficult to verify the truth Why the mental looping can't doesn’t stop The best practical strategy to disrupt the fight-or-flight spiral And how to find closure that will never come from them Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

What if the reason they keep coming back to you has nothing to do with love — and everything to do with boredom? In this episode, Dr. Kerry and Lynn Strathdee break down the internal clock that drives narcissistic relationship cycles. How pathological partners idealize, withdraw, only to circle back. This isn’t about the victim—it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited. Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interview with you subscribe today. Join here-> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/ Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they'd "never talk to you again" — like it was a boundary. Like it was healthy. But the silence never actually stayed silent. Behind your back, a different story was already being told behind your back. And when you reach out, you’re blocked. This is a smear campaign with a "no contact" mask on. This episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived through the attack-then-block cycle — to break down what's actually happening when a narcissist "refuses to engage." In this episode: Why narcissists weaponize "I don't argue" as a performance for an audience, not a boundary for you The block-and-smear pattern: how silence toward you becomes a story told behind your back How this tactic exploits your trauma-informed instincts, making distance look like discernment Why survivors are left unable to defend themselves against a narrative they never even heard What documenting and disengaging safely actually looks like — without chasing the last word Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The divorce papers are signed. The marriage is over. But for survivors of narcissistic abuse, the legal system is often where the abuse escalates — not ends. In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and Family Law Attorney Diana Romanov decode the legal tactics narcissists weaponize after you leave. How conflict avoidance becomes your abuser’s most powerful legal advantage. Learn how the earliest red flags predict exactly how dangerous the divorce will be. Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment Want to go deeper? What happens when survivors of narcissistic abuse hire an attorney who mirrors the very dynamic they just escaped? In this Members-Only segment, Diana reveals why trauma survivors unconsciously gravitate toward legal representation that replicates familiar but toxic relationship dynamics and what it costs them. Learn the most important rarely asked question your attorney should be asking you. Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access to this exclusive segment today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse DIANA ROMANOV is a California-certified Family Law Specialist and divorce attorney with over 25 years of experience representing clients in high-conflict and narcissistic abuse cases. As the creator of Divorce Like a Boss , she brings legal precision and hard-won courtroom insight to the realities survivors face when leaving toxic relationships — revealing not just the legal strategy, but the psychological warfare playing out in filings, hearings, and depositions. YOUTUBE: Divorce Like a Boss WEBSITE #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #divorcinganarcissist #postseparationabuse #coercivecontrol #highconflictdivorce Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does their apology leave you feeling like the one who did something wrong? \ Continuing this week's feed swap, I'm sharing a conversation from Renee Swanson's Covert Narcissism Podcast — this time a guest interview with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, a psychodynamic therapist and host of The Narcissism Decoder . Together they get underneath the behavior to the "why," unpacking what they call the illusion of empathy: the moment an apology looks like remorse but is really about image control. A note: this is part of an ongoing series on guilt and shame, so you'll hear Renee and Dr. Mazzella reference earlier conversations and tease the next one — you can follow the whole thread on Renee's feed. Be gentle with yourself as you listen, and reach out to a trusted person or support resource if any of it hits close to home. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com . Follow Renee: TikTok I YouTube I Facebook I Instagram I Website Listen to the Podcast: Bleav Network - On All Platforms #covertnarcissism #gaslighting #Narcissism #npd Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control. This Thursday episode, Kerry reads from real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships. Learn what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside. In this episode: Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible Why survivors so often exit these relationships starting over — in debt, isolated, and exhausted What financial recovery really requires Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

He checked the grocery receipt. And the look on his face said everything: he expected to catch you at something. You weren't a partner. You were a suspected thief. But that moment — that first time money became a surveillance tool — didn't come out of nowhere. It didn't start with the receipts, or the interrogations, or the separate account he opened without telling you. It started the moment he made you feel like the luckiest person alive. Because that feeling — of being chosen, adored, and completely seen — was the setup for everything that came after. This week, Kerry sits down with clinical co-host and UK psychologist Lynn S. to break down exactly how narcissists use love bombing to lay the groundwork for financial control — and why so many survivors don't recognize the trap until they're already inside it. In this episode: Why money is never just money in a narcissistic relationship The "eating off my plate" impulse: the primitive threat response that drives financial control How love bombing creates the emotional dependency that makes financial control feel normal — even deserved The "empty jar" framework: why giving second chances too early is one of the most dangerous mistakes in new relationships. Want to go deeper? For the Podcast Extra interview: Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Kerry and Lynn's full conversation on "sitting in the grey" — the psychological skill narcissists systematically destroy, and why rebuilding your capacity to trust your own inner compass requires something most survivors never think to look for. 🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. Website Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money. That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted. They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control. This Thursday episode, Kerry reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships — to break down what financial abuse actually is and what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside. In this episode: Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible Why survivors so often exit these relationships having to start over in debt, isolated, and exhausted What financial recovery really requires Key Moments: 00:00 — Caught in the middle: the child who can't take sides 02:05 — "My worst enemy, but also my best friend": love with conditions 03:39 — When the sensitive child becomes the target 05:07 — The gaze that builds a self — and the one that breaks it 06:36 — "I never said that": memory gaslighting and siblings who stop speaking 08:55 — Protecting your kids: hypervigilance, loyalty binds, and staying regulated Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Your child comes home from a visit with the other parent guarded. Repeating things they couldn't have come up with on their own. Now they’re looking at you differently. That's not just "divorce being hard." That's a smear campaign — and your narcissistic ex has recruited your own children to run it. This week, Dr. Josh Davis — neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference — joins Kerry McAvoy to break down exactly how narcissistic exes weaponize children in their smear campaigns, and what you can do to protect your relationship with your kids without playing the narcissist's game. In this episode: Why narcissistic exes target children in their smear campaigns and what they're really trying to accomplish The 3 signs your child is being used as a messenger or weapon against you How to respond when your child repeats the narcissist's narrative The one mistake most co-parents make that actually deepens the alienation Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment Want to go deeper? Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Dr. Davis's most powerful technique — a simple mental shift that lets you step outside the chaos of a difficult co-parenting moment, see it clearly, and stop reacting 🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse DR. JOSH DAVIS is a neuroscientist, psychologist, and author of The Difference That Makes a Difference. His work helps parents build stronger connections with their children using tools from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and neuroscience. Website Book: The Difference That Makes the Difference: NLP and the Science of Positive Change Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If you can name the patterns and see the behaviors, have you wondered why do you still feel so stuck? This week I'm sharing an episode from Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast — a feed swap I wanted to bring straight to this community. Renee unpacks what she calls "hitting the wall": the moment you can no longer live the lie in a covert narcissistic relationship, when you can't keep pretending that you're fine, that your family is fine, when it simply isn't. Renee Swanson, the host, walks through the two paths that lead there — the slow erosion that wears you down mentally, emotionally, and physically, and the sudden crack that changes everything in an instant — and what actually happens inside you when you reach that point: the numbness, the strange relief, the self-doubt. Then she gets practical about the conversation itself: what you're really trying to do when you name your reality out loud, the responses to expect (DARVO, minimizing, tears, an eerie calm), and how to stay grounded when it goes sideways. If any of this is your life right now, please be gentle with yourself as you listen — and reach out to a trusted person or a domestic-abuse resource if you need support. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

If you can name the patterns and see the behaviors, have you wondered why do you still feel so stuck? This week I'm sharing an episode from Renee Swanson of the Covert Narcissism Podcast — a feed swap I wanted to bring straight to this community. Renee unpacks what she calls "hitting the wall": the moment you can no longer live the lie in a covert narcissistic relationship, when you can't keep pretending that you're fine, that your family is fine, when it simply isn't. Renee Swanson, the host, walks through the two paths that lead there — the slow erosion that wears you down mentally, emotionally, and physically, and the sudden crack that changes everything in an instant — and what actually happens inside you when you reach that point: the numbness, the strange relief, the self-doubt. Then she gets practical about the conversation itself: what you're really trying to do when you name your reality out loud, the responses to expect (DARVO, minimizing, tears, an eerie calm), and how to stay grounded when it goes sideways. If any of this is your life right now, please be gentle with yourself as you listen — and reach out to a trusted person or a domestic-abuse resource if you need support. Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com . Key Moments 00:00 — Welcome + why this one hits home 01:15 — The day I stopped feeling anything 02:54 — Two paths, and the slow erosion of mind, heart, and body 07:10 — The bedroom moment that decided the marriage 09:13 — The "cult of two" and the strange relief of letting go 10:37 — How the covert narcissist senses you pulling away 11:48 — What your children already sense 12:40 — Waving the white flag: clarity isn't giving up 15:01 — The confrontation, and what it's really for 17:12 — DARVO, tears, and eerie calm: what to expect 18:56 — How to stay grounded when it goes sideways 20:55 — The words that set you free — and why this is only the beginning Find more from Renee at covertnarcissism.com, including her coaching program for those ready to move from understanding their situation to actually healing from it. Follow Renee: TikTok ● YouTube ● Facebook ● Instagram ● Website Listen to the Podcast: Bleav Network ● All Platforms #covertnarcissism #gaslighting #Narcissism #npd Resources ReclaimYou : Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Dr. Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D , a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Food shouldn't feel like a threat — but for narcissistic abuse survivors, it often does. In this viewer stories episode, survivors share exactly how the narcissist in their life weaponized food — turning meals into rituals of control, criticism, and shame. Kerry shares her own experience too. If mealtime ever filled you with dread, this episode will name what you lived through and show you why it happened. In this episode: • The specific tactics narcissists use to weaponize food • Why this coercive control tactic is so hard to identify • How emotional abuse through food leaves lasting shame, body image wounds, and even eating disorders • 3 concrete steps to begin reclaiming your relationship with food after narcissistic abuse. Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Food shouldn't feel like a threat — but for narcissistic abuse survivors, it often does. In this viewer stories episode, survivors share exactly how the narcissist in their life weaponized food — turning meals into rituals of control, criticism, and shame. Kerry shares her own experience too. If mealtime ever filled you with dread, this episode will name what you lived through and show you why it happened. In this episode: • The specific tactics narcissists use to weaponize food • Why this coercive control tactic is so hard to identify • How emotional abuse through food leaves lasting shame, body image wounds, and even eating disorders • 3 concrete steps to begin reclaiming your relationship with food after narcissistic abuse. Key Moments #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #coercivecontrol Resources ReclaimYou : Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Dr. Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D , a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Food is the most primal human need — and narcissists know it. The demands that ruin a vacation. The meal that is never made right. The praise given once, then withheld forever. These are calculated moves in a much larger control strategy. In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and co-host Lynn S. decode the psychology behind narcissistic food control: why it is never actually about the food, how narcissists exploit your deepest vulnerabilities through something as basic as sustenance, and why recognizing this pattern is the first step toward disengaging from a dynamic designed to make you feel perpetually inadequate. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? In this Members-Only episode — Lynn and Dr. Kerry unpack what happens after the recognition and why healing from food-based control takes longer than most expect. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE Submit your question to be answered on air here! Resources The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D. , an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Food is the most primal human need — and narcissists know it. The demands that ruin a vacation. The meal that is never made right. The praise given once, then withheld forever. These are calculated moves in a much larger control strategy. In this conversation, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and co-host Lynn S. decode the psychology behind narcissistic food control: why it is never actually about the food, how narcissists exploit your deepest vulnerabilities through something as basic as sustenance, and why recognizing this pattern is the first step toward disengaging from a dynamic designed to make you feel perpetually inadequate. Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? In this Members-Only episode — Lynn and Dr. Kerry unpack what happens after the recognition and why healing from food-based control takes longer than most expect. Find the exclusive second segment and weekly newsletter here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse Key Moments 0:00 The Perfect Stage: Why Food Becomes a Weapon 0:27 "Look How Special I Am": The Dish His Mother Made 2:35 How Narcissists Find Your Unmet Needs 4:25 The Demanding Eater: Japanese Peanuts and the Honeymoon Popcorn Hunt 7:27 The Tortilla Legend: Food as Proof of Love and Obedience 9:53 Intermittent Reinforcement and Competing With the Legend 11:56 Lynn's Story: Gloating, Competition, and Possessiveness 14:39 Back to Infancy: Why the Feeding Dynamic Never Got Solved 16:06 Being Spoon-Fed: When Sustenance Becomes Control 18:55 The Lasagna and the Juicer: A Mother-in-Law's Power Plays 21:56 It's a Pattern, Not Personal: The Predator's Playbook 24:12 Two Food Histories: Shame, Dissociation, and the Internal Controller LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change. WEBSITE: https://echoismrecovery.com/ #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #coercivecontrol Resources ReclaimYou : Dr. Kerry's AI-powered coaching app The Complete Recovery Collection : Narcissistic abuse resources First Steps to Leaving : Online self-paced digital course Toxic-Free Relationship Club : Live coaching & community support Follow Dr. Kerry! Youtube Instagram TikTok Facebook Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D , a retired psychologist & author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases. This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.