YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship with Jodi Carlton

When a partner claims that autism means they "don't understand consent," where does neurodivergence end and abuse begin? Jodi Carlton and Mona Kay unpack the difference between autistic behavior and abusive behavior, why "no means no" applies regardless of neurotype, and how media scripts and porn can distort expectations around consent for black-and-white thinkers. They also discuss the yes/no/maybe checklist, masking in neurodiverse marriages, the fawning response, and when ignoring a partner's "no" crosses the line into narcissistic and exploitive behavior. This episode discusses interpersonal violence (IPV), sexual abuse, and related topics. If you may be triggered by this conversation, please take care of yourself. Resources are listed below. ⏱️ Chapters 0:00 Teaser: No Means No, Regardless of Neurotype 1:33 Episode Intro 2:10 Content Warning & Listener Question 3:37 Abuse vs. Autistic Behavior 5:01 Abuse Is Not Autism 6:30 Any Neurotype Can Be Abusive 7:36 "Your Safety Is What Matters" 8:09 Any Adult Can Understand Consent 10:38 Porn, Scripts & Black-and-White Thinking 11:32 The Yes/No/Maybe Checklist 12:23 Media Messaging: "No Means Yes" & the Pursuit Myth 15:14 Masking & Saying Yes When You Could Say No 15:56 When "No" Is Ignored: That Is Abuse 16:17 Fawning, Codependency & Personal Accountability 18:21 Narcissistic & Sociopathic Behavior 19:58 Resources & "It's Never Just Leave" 21:00 Wrap Up & What's Next Resources — Interpersonal Violence & Domestic Abuse If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, help is available. You are not alone, and it is not your fault. United States National Domestic Violence Hotline 📞 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) 💬 Text "START" to 88788 🌐 https://www.thehotline.org Available 24/7 | Free & confidential | Live chat also available on the website National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) 📞 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673) 🌐 https://www.rainn.org Online chat available 24/7 StrongHearts Native Helpline 📞 1-844-762-8483 A culturally-appropriate domestic violence and dating violence helpline for Native communities Love is Respect (National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline) 📞 1-866-331-9474 💬 Text "LOVEIS" to 22522 🌐 https://www.loveisrespect.org Deaf Hotline (via video phone) 📞 1-855-812-1001 International NO MORE Global Directory 🌐 https://www.nomoredirectory.org A comprehensive international directory of domestic and sexual violence helplines and support services, covering more than 200 countries. Created by the NO MORE Foundation in partnership with the United Nations. HotPeachPages 🌐 https://www.hotpeachpages.net Abuse information in over 115 languages and domestic violence help agencies listed for every country worldwide.

Medical gaslighting is when your experience of your body is denied or dismissed by a medical professional. Neurodivergent people frequently experience this even though providers don't always realize the harm they're doing. When we talk about neurodivergence, we usually focus on the mind — but what about the body? In this episode of our "Navigating Neurodiverse Love & Life" series, my co-host Mona Kay and I dive into the physical side of neurodivergence that too often gets dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored by the medical system. From dysautonomia and migraines to depression as a physiological experience, Mona and I share our own lived experiences with bodies that don't regulate the way they're "supposed to." We discuss the gut-brain connection, pain sensitivity differences across the autism/ADHD spectrum, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, seasonal affective disorder, hormones, and why so many of us have spent years feeling like we were "making it all up" — only to discover our symptoms were real all along. I also share the story of a doctor who recently reached out wanting to learn more about his neurodivergent patients, and why that kind of curiosity gives me hope. We talk about medical gaslighting, why even well-meaning physicians miss the signs, and what needs to change in medical training so neurodivergent patients stop falling through the cracks. Whether you're neurodivergent yourself, love someone who is, or you're a professional working with neurodivergent clients, this conversation is a reminder that validation changes everything. 📧 Send me your questions and stories: podcast@jodicarlton.com 🔗 Find me at jodicarlton.com (it's Jodi with an I — but even if you misspell it, you'll find me!) 🔗 Find Mona at neurodiverselove.com If you're a physician or helping professional who wants to learn more about working with neurodivergent patients, reach out to me about joining the Neurodiverse Peer Professional Network. Don't forget to like and subscribe! Additional Resources: 🔗 All Brains Belong: https://allbrainsbelong.org/ 🔗 Clinicians Guide: Everything is Connected to Everything: Improving Healthcare for Autistic & ADHD Adults: https://allbrainsbelong.org/clinician-resources/ Chapters: 0:00 Teaser 0:26 Intro 1:21 Checking In 1:49 Neurodivergence & the Physical Body 2:20 Migraines & Dysautonomia 3:00 Depression as a Physical Experience 5:00 Depression Is Physical, Not Just Mental 5:54 What Is Dysautonomia? 6:40 Hormones, Menopause & Feeling Alone 7:32 Finding Knowledgeable Physicians 8:04 A Doctor Who Wants to Learn About Neurodivergence 9:31 Medical Gaslighting & Imposter Syndrome 10:00 Ehlers-Danlos & Connective Tissue 10:34 The Gut-Brain Connection 11:28 "You Are 100% Wrong" 13:23 Pain Sensitivity: Autistic vs. ADHD 14:06 Interoception & My Autistic Uncle 15:25 There's an Explanation for Your Partner's Sensitivities 16:28 Validation Changes Everything 17:11 Outro

What happens when two people in a neurodiverse relationship remember the same conversation completely differently? This week, Mona and I explore the memory and communication disconnects that can put neurodiverse couples in what I call “the boxing ring”—where partners become opponents, each trying to prove who’s right and who’s wrong. From the partner who remembers every word but misses the meaning to the one who remembers the feeling but not the details, we break down why this happens—and why it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. We also talk about executive functioning in daily life, the cereal box story, and important questions every couple should ask before moving in together. 🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation. 📩 Send us your questions: podcast@jodicarlton.com Chapters: 0:00 — When memory differences feel like gaslighting 0:57 — Meet the hosts: Mona Kay & Jodi Carlton 1:50 — Memory, meaning, and where neurodiverse couples miss each other 3:00 — Accuracy vs. emotional connection: the core disconnect 4:20 — Sarah's story: getting stuck on every wrong detail 6:02 — The boxing ring: when couples become opponents 6:18 — It's not a deal breaker: hope for neurodiverse couples 6:57 — Intent vs. impact: why curiosity beats taking it personally 8:29 — Trust erosion: why couples wait decades to get help 11:09 — Executive functioning in real life: the garbage night problem 12:41 — Codependency and bailing out: why it backfires 15:39 — Neurodivergent people are accountable too 17:19 — Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards 18:17 — The 50% divorce rate and undiagnosed neurotypes 19:09 — Questions every couple should ask before moving in together 19:35 — The cereal box story: not wanting to be "perceived" 21:29 — Wrap-up Find us at jodicarlton.com and neurodiverselove.com Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love. 👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd I'm Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships. As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet. My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships. On this channel, you'll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind. Learn more about my new book: The Misunderstood Mind - What We Got WRONG About Autism, ADHD, and Neurodivergence Visit: https://themisunderstoodmind.com Courses: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Quizzes: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz Subscribe to my articles & newsletter at https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com

This week we're getting really personal. We're opening up about our own ADHD brains — the things we've struggled with, the stuff that drove our partners crazy, and the moments that only made sense once we finally understood neurodivergence. If you've ever felt like your brain works differently from everyone else's, or like your partner's special interests leave you feeling invisible, you're not alone. We've been there too. 🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation. 📩 Send us your questions: podcast@jodicarlton.com YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast with Jodi Carlton Season 6 (Navigating Life & Love in Neurodiverse Relationships with co-host Mona Kay) Episode 8 Chapters: 0:00 — When a partner's special interest makes you invisible 1:45 — Today's topic: executive functioning challenges 2:19 — Jodi's ADHD spotted while editing the podcast 8:39 — Feeling invisible when a partner locks in 10:41 — ADHD vs autistic hyperfixation: how long is too long? 15:01 — Memory struggles: locked in but can't remember a thing 20:00 — Binging shows and forgetting you ever watched them Find us at www.jodicarlton.com and www.neurodiverselove.com Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love. 👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd I'm Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships. As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet. My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships. On this channel, you'll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind. Courses: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Quizzes: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz Subscribe to my newsletter "Inside The Misunderstood Mind": https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com

If you're in a neurodiverse relationship — whether you're ADHD, autistic, or both — intimacy can be one of the most complicated things to navigate. In this episode, Mona Kay & I get real about love vs. sex, masking in the bedroom, asexuality, ethical non-monogamy, separate bedrooms, and the hidden pattern that quietly undermines intimacy for neurodiverse couples: fawning. In this episode, we talk about why so many neurodiverse marriages end up with "zero sex," but also creative solutions that actually work for both partners — this conversation goes places most podcasts won't. 🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation. 📩 Send us your questions: podcast@jodicarlton.com YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast with Jodi Carlton Season 6 (Navigating Life & Love in Neurodiverse Relationships with co-host Mona Kay) Episode 7 Chapters: 0:00 Teaser 0:35 Intro 1:21 Love vs. Sex Myths 1:56 Masking & Mismatched Scripts 3:15 Asexuality & Misalignment 5:50 Get Help Early 6:57 Find Neurodivergent-Fluent Support 8:10 Creative Relationship Solutions 11:54 Define Your Own Relationship Rules 12:33 Dating Non-Negotiables & Self-Work 14:59 Support Options & Trusted Guides 15:48 Outro Find us at jodicarlton.com and www.neurodiverselove.com Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love. 👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd I'm Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships. As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet. My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships. On this channel, you'll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind. 🎧 Listen to the podcast: https://podlink.com/1612135248 📖 Subscribe to The Misunderstood Mind on Substack: https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com 📅 Book a consultation: https://jodicarlton.com/private-consultation/ 🧠 Explore articles, courses, quizzes & resources: https://jodicarlton.com 👋🏼 Join our Neurodiverse Relationships community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships ⸻ New here? Subscribe for thoughtful conversations about: * Autism and ADHD * Neurodiverse relationships * Communication and conflict * Alexithymia and executive functioning * Narcissistic abuse and personality pathology * Boundaries, healing, and healthier relationships Whether you are neurodivergent, love someone who is, or work with neurodiverse individuals and couples, you're welcome here.

If you're in a neurodiverse relationship — whether you're ADHD, autistic, or both — intimacy can be one of the most complicated things to navigate. In this episode, Mona Kay & I get real about routines, spontaneity, physical intimacy, and the hidden pattern that quietly undermines intimacy for neurodiverse couples: fawning. From date night strategies that actually work, to what happens when one partner has learned to tolerate instead of communicate — this conversation goes places most podcasts won't. 🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we continue the conversation. 📩 Send us your questions: podcast@jodicarlton.com Chapters: 0:00 Teaser 0:42 Intro 1:28 Routines, Structure & the ADHD/Autistic Couples 3:27 Date Night Strategies That Work for Both Partners 7:17 Communicating About Sex — When, How & Why Not During 8:42 Physical Intimacy & Predictable Patterns 10:43 Codependency, Fawning & People-Pleasing in the Bedroom 11:28 Sex & Vulnerability 18:16 The Resentment Cycle & When Sex Comes to a Halt 18:19 To Be Continued... 18:26 Outro Find us at www.jodicarlton.com and www.neurodiverselove.com 👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd I’m Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships. As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet. My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships. On this channel, you’ll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind. 📖 Subscribe to The Misunderstood Mind on Substack: https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com 📅 Book a consultation: https://jodicarlton.com/private-consultation/ 🧠 Explore articles, courses, quizzes & resources: https://jodicarlton.com 👋🏼 Join our Neurodiverse Relationships community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships ⸻ New here? Subscribe for thoughtful conversations about: * Autism and ADHD * Neurodiverse relationships * Communication and conflict * Alexithymia and executive functioning * Narcissistic abuse and personality pathology * Boundaries, healing, and healthier relationships Whether you are neurodivergent, love someone who is, or work with neurodiverse individuals and couples, you’re welcome here.

Are you neurodivergent and trying to navigate dating? Especially after a divorce? We can relate! In this episode, my co-host, Mona Kay, and I get real about our personal dating experiences after divorce, the patterns we've learned to recognize in neurodiverse partners, and how to spot toxic, narcissistic behavior. From info dumping on first dates to sensory quirks in the bedroom, we share candid, sometimes funny, always insightful stories that will help you navigate neurodiverse dating with more clarity, compassion — and better boundaries. Be sure to tune in for Episode 7 to catch the second half of our conversation. Topics covered: - Spotting neurodivergence (and narcissism) on dating apps - Info dumping on dates — and what to do about it - When autism and narcissism overlap - Alcohol, self-medication & neurodivergence - Sensory sensitivities in romantic and physical intimacy - How to adapt without losing yourself Timestamps: 0:00 – Teaser: When autism masks toxic behavior 1:24 – Welcome & intro: Meet Jodi & Mona 1:46 – Today's topic: dating, sex & neurodiverse relationships 2:16 – Dating in your 50s and 60s as a neurodivergent person 9:01 – Mona becomes a dating coach for her friends 9:18 – The guy with a strict 2-hour bandwidth for dates 10:35 – Real talk: there was one man who info dumped for 3 hours 11:42 – Tips for autistic daters: giving your partner space to talk 13:57 – Jodi's story: dating someone autistic AND narcissistic 17:24 – Love bombing, triangulation & the "harem" 19:13 – Don't assume it's just autism — key warning signs 20:16 – When you're constantly dysregulated in a relationship 20:49 – Mona's experience: dating an autistic man for almost a year 21:18 – Alcohol & neurodivergence: self-medicating to socialize 21:55 – Needing 6 beers just to go to a restaurant 24:10 – Sensory & intimacy differences: holding hands, kissing 28:10 – Eye contact during intimacy — an honest conversation 29:38 – The cold water toothbrush moment 30:52 – When sensory reactions feel like rejection 32:07 – Where to find Jodi & Mona Find Jodi: jodicarlton.com Find Mona: neurodiverselove.com Don't forget to like, subscribe, and send us your questions! 👩‍💼 About Jodi Carlton, MEd I’m Jodi Carlton, MEd, a neurodiversity educator, relationship expert, author, and coach with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals, couples, families, and professionals better understand autism, ADHD, and the realities of neurodiverse relationships. As a late-diagnosed ADHDer, I combine professional expertise with lived experience. My own family includes multiple neurotypes, and after spending nearly two decades in a neurodiverse marriage, I understand both the challenges and the opportunities that can emerge when different minds meet. My work also explores the important distinction between neurodivergent differences and harmful relationship dynamics, including narcissistic abuse and personality pathology. My goal is not to tell people what to think, but to help them better understand what they are experiencing so they can make informed decisions about their relationships. On this channel you’ll find episodes of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship podcast, interviews with leading experts, educational videos, and practical conversations designed to help you better understand yourself, the people you love, and the misunderstood mind. Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/0olYTzv_BQ0 📖 Subscribe to The Misunderstood Mind on Substack: https://inside.themisunderstoodmind.com 📅 Book a consultation: https://jodicarlton.com/private-consultation/ 🧠 Explore articles, courses, quizzes & resources: https://jodicarlton.com 👋🏼 Join our Neurodiverse Relationships community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships New here? Subscribe for thoughtful conversations about: * Autism and ADHD * Neurodiverse relationships * Communication and conflict * Alexithymia and executive functioning * Narcissistic abuse and personality pathology * Boundaries, healing, and healthier relationships

Is your relationship struggling because of neurodivergence — or because you're just not compatible? In this episode of Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life, Jodi Carlton and Mona Kay get honest about one of the hardest questions neurodiverse couples face. In this episode: The two extremes of autistic commitment: the revolving door and staying forever in a toxic marriage Why blaming the diagnosis is unfair to your partner AND the neurodivergent community How compatibility changes when you move in together, get married, or have children Why traditional marriage therapy often makes things worse for neurodiverse couples Nesting — the alternative living arrangement helping neurodiverse families find peace Jodi's personal story of neurodivergent burnout after her kids left for college How ADHD and autism create opposite conflict styles in the same household How to ask genuinely curious questions — and why most questions are actually setups Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship, raising a neurodiverse family, or just trying to understand yourself better — this episode will help you stop blaming the diagnosis and start building real understanding. 🔔 Subscribe for new episodes 💬 Send us your questions: podcast@jodicarlton.com ⏱ Chapters 0:00 Intro — Meet Jodi & Mona 1:33 Episode Begins — Commitment Extremes in Autistic Relationships 2:23 Mona's Story: He Would Have Stayed Forever 2:51 Loyalty, Aversion to Change & Letting Go 4:46 Mona's Coaching Philosophy: Compatibility Over Neurotype 5:49 You Can't Blame It on the Diagnosis 7:05 Compatibility Changes — Moving In, Marriage & Kids 7:53 Nesting: A New Container for the Relationship 9:10 Jodi's Story: Dating After Divorce 9:35 Neurodivergent Family Burnout 14:04 Key Lesson: Understand Yourself & Your Partner 15:00 Jodi's Tip: How to Ask Curious Questions 16:13 Mona's Experience: Check Yourself 17:52 Wrap-Up & Closing

Have you ever felt like your emotions were wrong — or like your partner simply couldn't understand why you were upset? You might be experiencing the impact of alexithymia in your neurodiverse relationship. In this episode of Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton open up about their own long marriages to neurodivergent partners — and the years of unintentional hurt that came from not understanding why they felt so misunderstood. In this episode: -What alexithymia is and why it's so common in neurodiverse relationships - interoception challenges affect emotional communication. -Why your autistic partner may logicalize your emotions — and what they actually mean by it. -The difference between not caring and not knowing -A beautiful listener story about loving an autistic partner with awareness -Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship, recently discovered your partner is autistic or ADHD, or are neurodivergent yourself — this conversation will help you feel less alone. ⏱ Chapters 0:00 Intro — Meet Mona & Jodi / About the Show 1:28 Episode 2 Begins — Our Neurodiverse Marriages 2:36 Mona's Story: 30 Years of Unintentional Hurt 3:03 Communication Breakdown: Logicalizing Emotions 4:21 What Is Alexithymia? 5:11 Interoception & the Body-Brain Disconnect 6:18 The Bewildering Reality of Feeling Wrong 7:34 Jodi's Story: Alexithymia Wasn't Our Issue — But... 15:20 Emotional Flooding & Communication Differences 16:45 Writing Novels He Wouldn't Read 18:13 Listener Comment: "He Was the Best Partner I've Ever Had" 19:46 Unintentional Hurt & Looking Through Different Lenses 21:30 Outro — Find Us & Closing 🔔 Subscribe for new episodes every week 💬 Submit your questions and topics in the comments or via our show notes links Find Mona: neurodiverselove.com Find Jodi: jodicarlton.com

Have you ever felt like your emotions were wrong — or that your partner just couldn't connect with what you were feeling? In this episode, Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton share candidly about their decades-long marriages to neurodivergent partners and the years of confusion, shame, and unintentional hurt that came from not having a name for what was happening. They break down alexithymia — one of the most overlooked challenges in neurodiverse relationships — along with interoception, emotional flooding, and the communication differences that left both partners feeling unseen. They also share a touching listener comment about what it looks like when understanding finally arrives. If you've ever wondered why your partner seems to logicalize your emotions, dismiss your feelings, or simply not register your pain — this episode is for you.

Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton introduce their new podcast, “Navigating Neurodiverse Love and Life,” sharing their backgrounds and why they partnered to create a more personal, casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent. Mona, host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast since 2020, describes discovering her marriage was neurodiverse late in a 30-year relationship, her divorce in 2018, and her related projects, including conferences, a docuseries, conversation cards, coaching, and support groups. Jodi shares how understanding neurodivergence began with her 23-year-old daughter’s autism diagnosis, discovering that her own marriage was neurodiverse after 19 years and a divorce, her work coaching neurodiverse couples worldwide, and her upcoming book, The Misunderstood Mind. They invite viewers to send questions to shape future episodes and note the show will be published on both of their podcast platforms and YouTube channels. 00:00 Meet Mona and Jodi 00:35 New Podcast Launch 01:10 Send Questions In 01:28 Why We Teamed Up 02:30 Mona’s Story and Mission 04:55 Jodi’s Journey and New Book 08:37 Show Topics and Healing 11:53 Community and Networks 13:37 Family Patterns and Narcissism 18:47 Bodies Hormones and Health 22:39 Coaching vs Therapy 30:57 Wrap Up and Where to Find Us _________________ Navigating Neurodiverse Life and Love is a casual show about neurodiverse romantic relationships, families, and life as a neurodivergent person or parent, hosted by Mona Kay and Jodi Carlton, two leading voices in the area of neurodiverse life and love. Visit us: neurodiverselove.com jodicarlton.com

Autism is not a childhood disease. It's not something we catch, acquire in childhood, or grow out of — and the science on this has been clear for decades. In this episode I'm responding directly to the current conversation about what autism is and isn't, and setting the record straight with research, personal experience, and 20+ years of working in this field. I cover what autism actually looks like across the lifespan, what the DSM-5 levels mean in real terms, and why the push to find a "cure" fundamentally misunderstands what autism is. I also speak honestly to families who are struggling at the more profound end of the spectrum — because their experience is real and deserves to be part of this conversation too. Autism is a lifelong, hereditary, natural variation of the human brain. And our world wouldn't be where it is without it. Follow the show so you never miss an episode. ➔ Watch on YouTube ➔ Read the blog: Autism Isn’t a Childhood Disease—It’s Time We Embrace Neurodiversity at Every Age ➔ Free quizzes, assessments & resources at jodicarlton.com

Neurodivergence has been framed as something to fix for far too long—and that framing is doing real harm. In this bonus episode, I'm talking about the neurodiversity paradigm shift: moving away from a deficit-based model and toward understanding neurological differences as natural variations in the human brain, not personal failures. I share the research, the language that's holding us back, and the personal moment that started my own journey: sitting in a workshop and realizing—with chills—that the speaker was describing my daughter. When we stop trying to fix neurodiversity and start understanding it, everything changes: our relationships, our communities, and how we see ourselves. 👉 Watch this episode on YouTube 👉 Read the blog: A New Perspective on Neurodiversity: Understanding Differences Without Judgment 👉 Free assessments and resources

Neurodivergent parenting comes with a kind of exhaustion that's hard to explain—and even harder to admit. As an ADHD mom with an autistic daughter and an ADHD son, I've lived every stage of it: the sensory overwhelm and specialist appointments in the early years, IEP battles and school advocacy in the middle years, and the delicate push toward independence as your kids grow into adulthood. If you've ever felt like you're running on empty, or wondered if any of this gets easier, this one is for you. Part personal story, part permission slip. Follow the show so you never miss an episode! 👀 Watch this episode on YouTube 👉 Read the blog: Hey Mama, I See You — Navigating The Exhaustion of Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

Autism microaggressions are everywhere. And most people delivering them have no idea they're causing harm. "You don't look autistic." "We're all a little autistic." "You're too articulate to be autistic." These comments feel like compliments. For autistic individuals, their partners, and their families, they land like paper cuts—small, accumulating, and quietly damaging over time. In this bonus episode, I unpack why these well-meaning comments are so harmful, how confirmation bias and outdated stereotypes lead even professionals to dismiss autistic people, and what masking is really costing the people we love. I also share something my daughter—diagnosed autistic at five, and told repeatedly that she doesn't look it—asked me to read on her behalf. Autism doesn't have a look, but it does deserve to be seen. 💙 ➔ Watch this episode on YouTube ➔ Read the blog: Autism Microaggressions: Why "You Don't Look Autistic" Does More Harm Than You Think ➔ Free assessments and resources

ADHD relationships don't come with a manual—but Part 2 of my conversation with Jana and Matt gets as close as anything I've recorded. We zoom in on what actually helps neurodiverse couples move from "you're doing it wrong" to clear, workable requests, and why old scripts keep running even after real growth. Jana shares two practical accommodations that changed everything for them: adjusting seasoning so everyone can eat comfortably, and normalizing separate sleep spaces to protect deep rest. Matt explains why requests land so differently than criticism—and how problem-solving as a team builds connection, trust, and day-to-day ease. Missed Part 1? Start there first 🎧 Watch this episode on YouTube Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community

ADHD / neurotypical relationships come with a specific kind of friction—and nervous system dysregulation is often at the center of it. In Part 1 of my conversation with Jana, an ADHD resilience coach, and her husband Matt, a neurotypical engineer, we unpack the "thinker/feeler" dynamic, the pursuer–retreater cycle, and what it looks like when dysregulation hijacks a hard conversation. We get into the practical tools that helped them shift the pattern: active listening, pausing for your "best self," and one surprisingly effective strategy—recording tough conversations to spot misunderstandings and reset the narrative. Ready for Part 2? Listen here. Watch this episode on YouTube Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community

When emotions run high, meltdowns happen, and communication breaks down, what helps neurodiverse couples stay connected? In Part 2 of this conversation, Randall and Ashley share how they’ve learned to manage overload, communicate through shutdowns, and rebuild calm after conflict. Ashley explains how Jodi’s “I’m okay” mantra helps her separate Randall’s emotions from her own, while Randall describes the tools that help him prevent meltdowns—like weighted blankets, routines, and clear recovery time. Together, they reveal how empathy, preparation, and boundaries create safer connection and a stronger marriage. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LR3i_mUUiPQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

Holidays, routines, and even dishwashers can test any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, those differences can feel magnified. In this episode, Jodi talks with Randall and Ashley about what they’ve learned since discovering Randall’s autism and how it’s changed their relationship for the better. They share simple but powerful tools—like Jodi’s “2-or-10” scale for deciding what’s worth energy, and the “I’m okay” mantra that helps calm emotional overload. Together, they show how curiosity, communication, and empathy can make all the difference in a neurodiverse relationship. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aGgmicw8wu4 Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships

The holidays can be stressful for any couple—but for neurodiverse partners, surprises, travel, and changes in routine can make the season especially tough. In this short bonus episode, Jodi shares a sneak peek from her upcoming interview with Randall and Ashley Rowland, who open up about what makes holidays challenging for them and the “plan B” strategies that keep things calm and connected. It’s just 9 minutes long, and it might make your holidays a little easier too. Watch this bonus episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8AztxuKAFjQ Join the Neurodiverse Relationship Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/neurodiverserelationships Get access to Jodi's Holiday Stress Buster Toolkit for Neurodiverse Couples and learn practical tools to help your holidays run smoothly.