Parenting Teenagers Untangled

Ask Rachel anything Are you trying so hard to be a good parent that you might be doing too much for your tween or teen, and accidentally making life harder for both of you? In this episode of Parenting Teenagers Untangled, Rachel Richards talks with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Tara Porter about her new book "Good Enough" and why good enough parenting is actually the best kind of parenting . Drawing on more than 25 years working in adolescent mental health, Tara explains how so many teens—whatever their diagnosis—secretly feel they are not “enough”: not clever enough, organized enough, pretty enough, or successful enough. She links this to a wider achievement-obsessed culture, fueled by: An education system caught in a “grade arms race” Social media’s like-and-kudos economy The professionalization of parenting and the tsunami of advice aimed at parents Against this backdrop, Tara shares her three core principles of good enough parenting: A good enough attitude – Letting go of perfection, resisting the urge to optimize every aspect of your child’s life, and accepting that zigzags and setbacks are normal. Relationship-based parenting – Prioritizing connection over outcomes, being “like wallpaper” in the background: present, warm, and available without crowding them or trying to control everything. Firm and kind boundaries – Finding the balance between warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting), gradually letting go of authority through the teen years so that by adulthood, your child is guided by their own internal compass, not your rules. Rachel and Tara explore: Rescuing vs building resilience Two common struggle patterns in teens The perfectionist achiever The rebellious non-complier How to set boundaries that still protect the relationship Better conversations with teens Tara’s two key listening tools: Empathy – stepping into your teen’s perspective, so they feel genuinely understood. Curiosity – asking open questions rather than jumping in with solutions. Rachel adds the idea of “LUFU – Listen Until they Feel Understood”, and both discuss why advice rarely lands until a teen first feels deeply heard. Mental health labels vs hope and growth Rachel's personal blog on getting the balance right Dr Tara Porter Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything We’re living through an age where it can feel like our teenagers’ entire lives are happening behind a screen we can’t see. Meanwhile mental health problems in teens are a rising problem that is being blamed on their devices. The instinctive response for many of us is to clamp down: ban certain apps, monitor every move, or take away devices altogether. But as Professor Candice Odgers put it so powerfully: “You can’t ban your way out of a mental health crisis. You have to build instead.” In this Wonder Room conversation Katharine Radice and I explore how parents can move beyond panic about phones and toward curious, constructive conversations that help teens feel safe enough to be honest. These are some of the core things we cover in this episode: Shifting focus from the phone to the child Phone use is often a symptom of underlying distress or needs, not the core problem. Moving from monitoring to understanding Hours and apps matter less than the quality of your teen’s relationship with their online world and how it makes them feel. Creating conditions for honesty instead of forcing lies Avoid loaded, judgmental questions and big emotional reactions that make teens hide or lie about what they’re doing online. Naming the role of algorithms and external forces Ask “What is the algorithm feeding you?” to shift some responsibility away from the teen and toward the tech design, making honest conversations safer. Scaffolding self-reflection and self-regulation Use curious questions (“Are you stuck?”, “Any surprises in your screen time?”) to help teens build lifelong skills in reviewing and adjusting their own digital habits. For my Fearless Parenting community members I have gathered the key ideas and given you practical questions you can use tonight with your teen. Katherine has a Substack full of help and ideas for parents of teenagers Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Are smartphones and social media really damaging our teenagers’ mental health – or are we looking in the wrong place? In this episode, Rachel Richards talks with Professor Candice Odgers , a leading expert on adolescent mental health in the digital age , to unpack what decades of research actually show about teens, tech and wellbeing. We explore why today’s teenagers are doing better than many headlines suggest, the real size of the link between phones, social media, anxiety and depression, and why offline risks are the biggest predictors of online problems . Candice explains how family stress, academic pressure, inequality, climate anxiety and adult mental health all play a powerful role in teen distress – and why focusing all our fear on phones can distract us from where we can genuinely make a difference. You’ll hear practical guidance on monitoring vs. connection , how to talk with teens about their online lives without pushing them away, what “ready for a phone” really means, and how social media affects girls and body image. If you feel overwhelmed by scary stories about screens, this conversation will help you move from panic to evidence‑based, compassionate parenting . Candice Odgers via her website or on Substack My substack : Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything As a teenager, I grew up in a home with almost no routines. No one talked about what needed to happen when, and I remember constantly thinking, “What am I supposed to do now?” Life felt like reinventing the wheel every day. I didn’t feel safe, and I felt a lot of energy went into trying to cope in the chaos. Now, as a parent and host of Teenagers Untangled , I’ve come to see routines not as dreary box‑ticking exercises, but as powerful tools for connection, calm, and joy. In this Wonder Room conversation, I sat down with teacher and parent Katharine Radice to explore how routines, habits, and rituals can serve our teenagers—and us. You can find all of the notes and recommendations made in this bonus episode by clicking here: Sign up for free emails to let you know when a new episode comes out www.teenagersuntangled.com Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything If your teenage daughter says, “I have anxiety,” “my ADHD was out of control today,” or calls a friend “toxic,” it can feel both strangely sophisticated and oddly shallow at the same time. She has language. She has labels. But somehow, you’re still not sure what’s really going on inside her. In this episode with psychiatrist Dr Suzanne Garfinkel-Crowell , author of Girlhood Translated: Understanding Girls in the Age of Therapy Speak and Self-Diagnosis , we pulled back the curtain on what this language is doing for girls — and what it’s doing to them. I particularly loved Suzanne’s tip for us parents: ‘The biggest problem with therapy speak is when it’s a conversation stopper, because really, these words should be conversation starters.’ In the discussion she gives us parents ideas on how to move beyond the language our kids are using, and help them understand what’s really going on. This isn’t an “anti-diagnosis” conversation. It’s about understanding how the language of mental health, the DSM, and social media are shaping girlhood, and how we as parents can respond in a way that brings us closer instead of shutting our daughters down. Dr Suzanne Garfinkle-Crowell If you'd like written notes to remind you about the points in this episode, or you'd like to think more about it, come to my Substack Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Thank you, thank you, thank you, Wirohugo for your incredible donation. You are so kind! Here’s the question posed by one of our community using the Ask Rachel Anything button: My fifteen year old boy seems to show no curiousity about the world. Does not know countries, capitals, does not read (except when incentived). Today, he didn't recognise the neighbouring village which we drive through many times. He is middling at school but good at some subjects. So, not a dunce! Is it digital distraction? Is it common? I searched your shows and could not find any record of this being discussed. Episode About: Concentration and Choices: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/concentration-and-the-troubling-effect-of-too-many-choices/ The Disengaged Teen: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/122-how-to-get-our-teens-to-love-learning-and-why-parents-are-the-missing-piece-of-the-puzzle/ Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything They're the oldest in their primary and suddenly our babies have to cope with being the youngest in their senior school. It's a big leap, and it comes just at the point when our kids are becoming much more aware of themselves and others with a big dollop of puberty-driven insecurity. It's easy to worry about them making friends, coping with their newfound indepenence; complicated timetables, different classrooms, homework, buses and remembering their passwords. Here to help us figure it all out is Katherine Radice, author of the Parents Guide to Exam Stress long time teacher and mum of two teenage boys. Just five of things we cover in the episode are: Realistic expectations for starting secondary school Why trying to make the “perfect” first day backfires Teaching kids that “lumps and bumps” are normal and part of adjustment Identity, uniform, and appearance How brands/clothes (e.g., specific shoes, jackets) are tied to teen identity and belonging When and why it’s worth listening and sometimes compromising on these wants Extracurricular activities and balance Benefits of clubs for confidence, community, and friendship-building The risks of over-scheduling and how to judge when it’s “too much” Emotional turbulence in the early weeks Tears, anger, door-slamming, and exhaustion as expected reactions How to respond with empathy, rituals of comfort, and not jumping into “fix-it” mode too fast. Communication: with teens and with school How to get teens talking: low-stakes questions, rituals, “super silence,” and active listening When to see something as a “blip” vs a real problem, and how to approach schools constructively Friendships: How to talk about making friends without turning it into too much of a big deal Hopefully, by the end of our discussion you'll have a much clearer idea of what you can do and also what you don't need to be doing to support your children through the turbulent teen school years. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Is AI changing the way teenagers understand friendship? Should we worry about teens turning to chatbots for advice and emotional support? And what can parents do to help their children build strong, real-world relationships? Welcome to a new Teenagers Untangled Community Catchup , where Rachel Richards is joined by teacher, author and mum of two teenagers Katherine Radice to talk through what's happening in the world of teenagers — from the news and the latest research to the problems parents are dealing with at home. This week, we start with GCSE results and teenage motivation . How should parents respond when results aren't what their teenager hoped for? Why does effort matter even when the grades aren't brilliant? And could constantly criticising schools actually make it harder for our teenagers to engage with the adults who are trying to help them? Then we turn to teenagers and AI . As AI chatbots become an increasingly normal part of young people's lives, we ask what happens when teenagers start using them not simply for homework or information, but for emotional advice and companionship. Unlike human friends, an AI chatbot is available whenever you want it. It doesn't need anything from you. It doesn't get tired, disagree in quite the same way or require the give-and-take that real relationships demand. But is that actually a problem? We discuss why disagreement and friction are important parts of healthy relationships , helping teenagers develop their identity, challenge their assumptions and learn how to live alongside people who don't always think exactly as they do. That leads us into teenage friendships : why teenagers can become so focused on finding a “best friend”, why friendships inevitably go through difficult patches, and how parents can help when a friend betrays a confidence, leaves their child out or hurts them. Rather than immediately deciding that the other teenager is a “bad person”, we discuss how friendship difficulties can become opportunities to learn about trust, forgiveness, apologies and understanding other people's perspectives. Finally, we look at something parents can easily overlook: our own friendships . Our teenagers are watching how we talk about other people, how we deal with disagreement and rejection, and whether friendship and community have a meaningful place in our adult lives. Sometimes one of the best ways to teach our teenagers how to build relationships is simply to let them see us doing it. A wide-ranging, practical conversation about teenagers and AI, ChatGPT, teenage friendships, GCSE results, school, parenting teenagers and helping young people build healthy real-world relationships . Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything So many parents come to me saying 'My teen has no friends. What should I do?' and I can't help wondering if we are missing one of the most important ways to help them. Being good at friendships ourselves. Think about it. If we're not good at making and maintaining friends ourselves, who will our babies learn their friendship skills from? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled , I’m joined by author, broadcaster, and founder of The Friendship Lab, Sheridan Voysey, to unpack why 20–25% of adults now say they have no close friends, how that impacts our teens’ mental health, and what we can actually do about it. We explore the five stages of friendship , why busyness, smartphones, and constant mobility are eroding our connections, and the simple, intentional steps parents can take to help their tweens and teens build deep, lasting relationships. Whether your child is struggling to find “their people,” stuck on the surface with classmates, or hiding behind screens, this conversation will give you practical language, science-backed insight, and real-life ideas for modelling healthy friendships at home. If you care about your teen’s confidence, wellbeing, resilience, and sense of belonging, this is an episode you won’t want to miss. Contact the Friendship Lab The Friendship Lab Course I create notes on every episode which you'll find on my Substack page Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything What happens when the children we’ve poured our hearts, time, and energy into finally leave home? If you’re facing the prospect of a child heading off to university or moving out—and feeling anything from pride and excitement to grief, anxiety, or a loss of identity—this episode is for you. First, I revisit a powerful conversation with mindfulness coach Susie Asli , where we unpack empty nest syndrome : why feelings of grief, loneliness, or even physical symptoms like sleeplessness and nausea are a normal response, how your identity as a parent can feel shaken when your child leaves, and practical ways to prepare yourself emotionally, rebuild routines, and reconnect—with yourself, with your partner, and with your wider life. Then I speak with Hannah Bankier , a coach specialising in personal and professional transitions and founder of Birdie Launcher . Hannah invites us to rethink the very idea of an “empty nest” and instead see this stage as a launchpad —for our children and for ourselves. She shares: how to start preparing years before your child leaves, how to evolve your parenting from “controller” to “mentor,” how to co-create a new kind of relationship with your emerging adult, and how to rediscover your own purpose, joy, and identity beyond being “Mum.” You're not broken if you're feeling grief. You're ready to start a new chapter. Hannah Bankier All the tips from this episode Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything A listener parenting a teen son wrote to say both of them felt pretty stunned when he was rejected from the university he'd set his heart on. She asked for the best way to help our teenagers cope with this sort of disappointment. I thought it was a great question and a good opportunity to also look at how we parents can best navigate when our teen has worked for years toward a dream - a top university place, exam results, a team, a part - and it doesn’t happen. The disappointment can feel earth‑shattering for them and gut‑wrenching for you. In this episode I talk with Dr Dominique Thompson, award‑winning GP and young people’s mental health expert, about how to support teenagers through big disappointments such as university rejection, exam failure, and missed opportunities – without rescuing them or minimising their feelings. We explore: What teens are actually grieving when things go wrong – including the loss of an imagined future How to validate their emotions while gently stopping catastrophic thinking The difference between building resilience and teaching kids to suppress their feelings Why today’s culture of perfectionism and “being the best” is driving anxiety, burnout and fear of failure How to help teens separate self‑worth from grades, offers and achievements Practical ways to prepare teens for university life , academic stress and independence When dropping out isn’t the only option – how to press pause , get help and return stronger What to do if your teen feels “left behind” while friends move on to university or big opportunities How parents can be a “safe harbour” : supportive, boundaried, and not adding their own disappointment to their teen’s load If you’re a parent wondering how to respond when your child says, “I’ve failed you,” or “There’s no point trying,” this conversation will give you concrete language, mindset shifts and step‑by‑step strategies to help them cope, reframe, and find a new path forward. Dr Dominique Thompson: is a multi-award winning former GP, young people's mental health expert, TEDx speaker, author and educator, with over two decades of NHS clinical experience. She is author of The Student Wellbeing Series for young people, and co-author of How to Grow a Grown Up (PenguinRandomHouse) for parents. dominique.thompson@me.com www.buzzconsulting.co.uk https://www.instagram.com/drdomthompson/ https://www.facebook.com/drdomthompson/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/dominique-thompson/ Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Sending your teen off to university can feel both exciting and terrifying. In this episode of Parenting Teenagers Untangled, I talk with my 19-year-old daughter Phoebe, home after her first year at Oxford University, about what parents really need to know to prepare their teens for university life. We cover the big worries parents Google most: how teens make friends in Freshers’ Week, coping with the academic workload, dealing with drinking, drugs and peer pressure, managing money and budgeting, handling homesickness and mental health, and how to balance independence with safety. If you’re wondering how to support your child’s transition to university without being overbearing—and how to trust them while still keeping them safe—this honest, practical conversation will give you clear guidance, real examples, and reassuring perspective from both a parent and a student. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Are you tired of yelling at your teen – and hating yourself afterwards? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled, I talked with parenting and relationship coach Diane Sorensen about how to stay calm with teens, stop power struggles, and set healthy boundaries without becoming a pushover. If you’re dealing with eye-rolling, “disrespectful” attitudes, shouting matches, and constant tension at home, this conversation will help you: Understand why you get so triggered by your teen’s behavior Shift from controlling behavior to nurturing real connection Use simple emotional regulation tools to pause before you explode Tell the difference between calm parenting and permissive parenting Create healthy boundaries that reduce resentment and build trust Repair after you’ve shouted and show your teen that change is possible We talk about creating boundaries, unpack practical strategies like the PARR method (Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect), how to reframe “disrespect” as information, and why owning your triggers is the fastest way to transform your relationship with your teen. If you’ve ever thought, “I promised I wouldn’t parent like this, but I don’t know how to stop,” this episode is for you. Diane Sorensen Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything If you’ve ever fallen in love with someone who already has children, or tried to blend two families and thought, “Why is this so hard? What’s wrong with me?” – this episode is for you. You are not broken, and you are definitely not alone. I was joined by Masha Rusanov , coach, writer, and author of Repatterned . Together we unpack: Why step‑parenting can feel so emotionally different from parenting your biological children How to prioritise connection before correction with bonus kids The idea of “ natural parenting ” – why step‑parents shouldn’t be the main disciplinarians What healthy co‑parenting and emotional regulation look like when there are exes, new partners, and multiple households in the mix Practical, everyday strategies to reduce conflict and build trust over time Click here for all of the tips from the episode Whether you’re a step‑parent, a biological parent in a blended family, or you co‑parent across different homes, this conversation will help you feel seen, supported, and better equipped for the long game. Masha Rusanov Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Are women naturally good at being mothers or is that a cultural myth? It matters because if we believe women are naturally good at it then they deserve no kudos for the work they do and when we do struggle it lays the blame firmly at our feet, rather than the society we live in. In this episode, I was joined by historian and postnatal practitioner Alex Bollen, author of Motherdom, to unpack the “good mother” myths shaping our culture—and our guilt. We challenge the idea that care is “natural,” reveal how shaky science and social media fuel certainty and shame, and show why there’s no single right way to raise teens. You’ll learn practical tools to lower pressure at home: the weekly myth check, the “misery test” for your to‑do list, stress reframes that build resilience, and village-building strategies that widen support for you and your child. Step away from perfection, toward curiosity and community—and parent your teen with more calm, confidence, and kindness. Read the episode write-up here Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Welcome to a special mini-series from Teenagers Untangled — seven simple, practical "parenting seeds" to plant over a week, preparing for when your child moves into secondary school or returns from summer. These are gentle shifts, not rules to perfect: They're designed to help you focus on what really matters, and reduce your stress. They'll help you to move from fixing problems to mentoring your child, build emotional safety at home, and give your teen the confidence to make good choices. These are the big picture things I wish I had known much earlier in the teen years. If you'd like an early release of this information and daily email reminders as the series unfolds, and more support, join me on Substack Seven seeds: Changing gears: be explicit about the shift in your parenting from monitoring to mentoring. Make home safe and predictable: create routines and anchors so home feels stable amid constant change. Catch them doing good: notice and praise strengths to build a positive identity and reduce fear of mistakes. Listen until they feel understood (LUFU): use super silence and active listening; summarise and ask before offering advice. Model what you want to see: especially with technology: demonstrate the habits you want your teen to adopt. Be curious about yourself: notice triggers, respond with curiosity not criticism, and model emotional regulation. Talk to your kids before others do: proactively discuss vaping , pornography, nudes , drugs , alcohol and groomers. Role-play responses so they’re prepared before they come under pressure. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Announcing my summer top tips series where I give you a short episode of tips organised around themes to help you focus on what you and your tween or teen needs to prepare you for the new school year. Make sure you’re following the show to ensure you don’t miss any and if you want to get them early and have the tips delivered weekly directly to you just click here Send me the free newsletter and enter our email address. You’ll get them straight to your mailbox. The tips start next week, in the meantime here’s a rerun of the Reading Festival episode because I’ve had so much amazing feedback on it: Music festivals are a rite of passage for many teens. Whilst some love the music, the lack of restriction and opportunities to mingle in a way that they could have only dreamt of during Covid, others decide to give them a miss or go and positively hate the experience. I was never a festival kid growing up. I didn't have the money, or the opportunity. As an adult, I've found them to be joyous events, but will always refuse to stay the night. My girls have now both been to one of the key UK festivals, Reading, so I thought you might be interested to hear more about what to expect if your kids are keen to go, how best to plan ahead, and what the key issues turned out to be. Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Seven in ten teenagers say they're very or extremely interested in investing. Not just curious, genuinely, actively interested. The problem is that most of us parents didn't become aware of investing until we were young adults or older, and half of parents say they wish they'd started sooner. That's a regret a lot of us are carrying around quietly, and without realising it, some of us are passing that same late start on to our kids. Teenagers today aren't waiting. They're already getting an education, just not necessarily the right one. They're watching creators on TikTok and YouTube who make it sound like picking the right crypto coin at the right moment is basically a personality trait. They're seeing posts about teens who turned a hundred pounds into ten thousand, and almost nothing about the ones who lost everything trying. It's exciting, it's fast, and it's completely untethered from the basics that actually build long-term wealth. That's why I invited Sonia Beardsmore, mum, former professional, institutional trader, and author of the book Raise a Mini Investor to talk to us about how we can discuss investing with our kids, how to start them young, and what a difference the deep financial literacy they can build while they're young and curious could really make in the long term. Sonia Beardsmore Previous episode about pocket money Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Exam stress — are your teen’s exams quietly overwhelming them (and you)? In this episode of Teenagers Untangled I spoke with Katherine Radice, author of The Parent’s Guide to Exam Stress, to explore: * Why teens withdraw and how parental questions can shut down conversations about school * What makes exams uniquely stressful (risk, public outcomes, long timelines) * How parents can build calm, constructive conversations and listen so teens feel safe to share * Practical strategies: establishing effective work habits, rewarding effort vs. outcomes, scaffolding responsibility, and iterative trial-and-review methods for study * Handling struggles: when to improve school support vs. when to build strengths outside school (hobbies, status, resilience) * The “burden of praise” and how to praise in ways that empower rather than create anxiety * Managing parental anxiety: how to consult teens, stay reflective, and help them learn to cope with uncertainty and setbacks Why it’s vital to listen: Exams affect more than grades — they shape teens’ confidence, relationships, and long-term coping skills. This episode gives us evidence-based, compassionate tools to support teens without becoming the “revision police,” reduce household stress, and help young people develop resilience that lasts beyond exam results. Contact Katharine: https://katharineradice.co.uk/ Top tips from this episode: https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/the-biggest-cause-of-stress-for-teens?r=2u24i0&utm_medium=ios Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook

Ask Rachel anything Who's teaching our teens how to be good citizens; someone who feels a part of society and enagages meaningfully in creating a world we all want to live in rather than someone who just buys stuff? In this episode I talked with Lindsey Cormack, political scientist and author of How to Raise a Citizen, about why we parents must see it as our job to raise capable, engaged citizens. With civics instruction waning in schools, Lindsey shares actionable strategies to turn everyday moments into lessons about government, community impact, and problem-solving. We discuss how to engage disinterested teens, navigate polarizing topics calmly, model curiosity over certainty, and making local politics tangible for the younger amongst us. The great thing about Lindsey's message is we don't need to know all about politics to get our kids involved, we just need to be prepared to discuss whats happening around us. Perfect for parents who want to boost critical thinking, civic responsibility, and respectful dialogue at home. Resources and printable prompts available at teenagersuntangled.subtack.com. Lindsey Cormack: https://howtoraiseacitizen.com/ https://constitutioncenter.org/ Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook