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Published by Alissa Boyer
Have you been told you're "too sensitive" or "too emotional"? Do you often feel drained by other people? Are you moved to tears easily? If so... you just may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Join host and HSP Mentor, Alissa Boyer, as she breaks the stigma of sensitivity and teaches you how to embrace your sensitivity as a gift. Here, you'll always be welcomed exactly as you are. New episodes every Tuesday!
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In this episode, Alissa revists the topic of good girl conditioning and why so many highly sensitive women build an entire identity around being the responsible one, the kind one, the person who never rocks the boat. She looks at what happens when agreeableness stops being a natural expression of your sensitivity and starts becoming a way of abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable. The traits themselves are often innate, but the problem is when they are expressed at the cost of self-abandonment. Alissa names the fear sitting underneath it all: the fear of shining too brightly and being disliked for it. Through her own story of a work friendship that went cold the moment she got promoted, and the clients she has watched give themselves permission to take up space, she walks through what it looks like to expand your tolerance for discomfort and stop managing everyone else's reaction to you. In this episode, you'll learn: Why being the responsible, easygoing one can quietly turn into abandoning your own needs How the fear of shining too brightly keeps so many highly sensitive women playing small What it means that other people benefit from you never setting a boundary or speaking up Why stepping out of the good girl identity almost always brings pushback, and how to be okay with that How to hold the guilt of someone being upset and still trust that you did the right thing Why giving people the dignity of their own reactions frees you from carrying everyone Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this episode, Alissa tackles a question she hears constantly. "How do you know if you're actually allowed to be upset, or if you're just being too sensitive?" If you've ever replayed a conversation for days, questioned your own reaction, or wondered if you made something out of nothing, this one's for you. Alissa traces that self-doubt back to where it actually started, and what it takes to fully trust yourself even when someone else insists you're overreacting. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the question "am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset" usually points to a deeper lack of self-trust Why the people who dismissed your reactions were often responding from their own depletion What writing out your personal values and boundaries does for you in the middle of a triggering moment How to recognize when a reaction is bigger than the situation because it's hitting an old wound Why "cleaning up your side of the street" comes before deciding whether a boundary conversation is necessary Sign up for Unshakable Interactions during presale for just $17!: https://www.sensitiveandsoulful.com/offers/DfoKpzEo/checkout?coupon_code=UIPRESALE Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this episode, Alissa gets into why the instinct to smooth things over the second someone reacts to your boundary is actually a form of people pleasing, and why building your tolerance for that discomfort is the first step toward feeling unbotherable. Alissa traces this back to the fear of abandonment underneath it, whether that shows up as a partner flipping the story back on you or a family member waving off a hurtful comment as a joke. She shows how the pattern gets reinforced every time it's smoothed over instead of named, and why noticing what's actually driving the rush to resolution is what starts to shift the pattern. Alissa shares what it actually looks like to sit in the discomfort of a boundary instead of collapsing it, so you can source your safety and self-respect from within instead of from someone else's reaction. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the urge to smooth things over the moment your boundary lands is people pleasing How to recognize when you're rushing to resolution out of a fear of abandonment rather than genuine repair Why letting someone avoid the consequences of their own behavior quietly teaches them how to treat you How trusting what your body is telling you becomes more reliable than the story someone else is offering in the moment Why pushback from someone who's benefited from your smallness is a sign you're doing this right, not a sign you did something wrong Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this episode, Alissa gets into why triggers land the way they do and why finding the root cause is the first step toward feeling steady, unshakable, and less at the mercy of what everyone around you is doing. Most triggers trace back to one of two places, an old wound from the past or an unmet need in the present. Alissa shows how naming that root pulls the charge out of it, so emotional memory stops determining your responses. Alissa walks through what it actually looks like to clean up your side of the street so you can confidently source your safety from within. In this episode, you'll learn: Why a reaction that feels disproportionate to the moment is a clue you've been triggered The two roots of most triggers, an old wound or an unmet need, and how to tell which one is showing up How pulling the charge out of a past experience lets a familiar situation lose its grip What "cleaning up your side of the street" looks like before you decide whether a conversation is even needed Why working through a trigger once makes it quieter every single time it comes back How sourcing your safety from within frees you from living at the mercy of other people's choices Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this week's episode, Alissa shares a quick hack that quietly rewrites how you see yourself: "I'm the type of person who..." So often you pin your happiness on the outcome, the finished book, the dream partner, the number of followers. Alissa offers an alternative, letting the process itself become the proof and validation of who you're becoming. Every time you act like the person you want to be, you teach yourself to expect that version of you to show up ( even when you don't feel like it). In this episode, you'll learn: How the phrase "I'm the type of person who" shifts your self-concept in real time Why tying your happiness to the outcome makes the whole journey feel worse How to turn everyday hard moments into evidence of who you're becoming What showing up to an almost empty room taught Alissa about building real confidence How to use this practice with people pleasing, exercise, dating, and creative work Why falling off track is its own chance to prove the kind of person you are Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
For most highly sensitive people, advocating for a physical need feels like being a burden. Jen Fitzpatrick, a celiac advocate and founder of the Confident Celiac Community, joins Alissa to talk about the years she spent staying quiet about her own needs and the shift that finally changed it. The tension is one a lot of HSPs with a chronic condition know well. Speaking up is what keeps you safe, but every people pleasing instinct says stay quiet instead. Alissa and Jen unpack why that instinct runs so deep and how to move through it anyway. Pulling from Jen's diagnosis story, a study abroad trip where she watched everyone else eat what she couldn't, and Alissa's own experience navigating her daughter's recent diagnosis, the conversation moves through shame, community and self worth. In this episode, you'll learn: Why highly sensitive people are especially likely to stay quiet about a chronic health need Jen's own story of cross contamination scares and learning to advocate for herself after years of people pleasing The simple swap that changed everything for Jen, saying thank you instead of sorry Why choosing ten seconds of social discomfort is almost always worth it over days of physical pain How finding community turned a hard diagnosis into something less isolating for both Jen and Alissa Follow Jen: Website: https://www.thenomadicfitzpatricks.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenomadicfitz Self-Love Toolkit: https://the-nomadic-fitzpatricks-gluten-free.teachable.com/p/celiac-self-love-toolkit-1059254 Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this episode, Alissa breaks down why every hard season is building something in you that easy seasons never could, tracing the idea back to astrology, her own birth chart, and a realization that caught her off guard through her daughter Blaine's health diagnoses. She walks you through how to see every uncomfortable, triggering situation as character development and opportunities for growth. In this episode, you'll learn: What your North Node and South Node reveal about your natural strengths versus the traits you're still growing into How raising her daughter through celiac disease and Type 1 diabetes diagnoses is developing the structured, disciplined side of Alissa that used to feel completely foreign Why a demanding boss, an unexplained health symptom, or another uncomfortable dynamic might be pointing to a part of your character that's ready to develop The difference between staying in a toxic environment and choosing a challenge that's actually building you What the growth gap is and why the space between your old identity and your new one feels so uncomfortable Why letting fear of judgment, like worrying what old classmates will think, keep you from starting something is really just self-sabotage in disguise Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
When someone's energy feels a little different than usual, quieter, colder, more reserved, your mind starts filling in the silence with a story about what you did wrong. This week Alissa breaks down where that hypervigilance actually comes from and why your mind rushing to assume the worst rarely has anything to do with what's actually happening. Pulling from her own patterns and stories from women in the Not Too Sensitive Club, Alissa walks through how to catch the spiral before it takes over. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your mind rushes to fill in the silence when someone seems distant or short with you The childhood origin of hypervigilance and why it gets mistaken for high sensitivity How to create space between a triggering moment and the story you decide to believe about it The exercise for completing the anxiety loop and realizing you could survive the worst case scenario Why overcompensating to win over a cold or quiet person is really about your own comfort, not the connection How choosing a new response in triggering moments builds a steadier, more confident identity over time Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
This week's episode comes from a riff request in the Not Too Sensitive Club group chat, a question about how to stop taking it personally when someone seems committed to disliking you, especially when you're wired to feel that discomfort in your body. It's uncomfortable to sense someone judging you, and every instinct says to win them over. Alissa offers a different move: recognizing whose story this actually is. She walks through what projection usually means psychologically, the energetic practices she uses before and after being around someone who triggers this, and why she'd rather be disliked for being herself than loved for shrinking. In this episode, you'll learn: Why someone projecting negativity onto you is usually about an unexamined part of them, not evidence of something wrong with you The difference between setting a boundary with someone and pretending their treatment of you doesn't hurt How to use an energetic bubble and cord cutting before and after spending time with someone who triggers this pattern Why staying small and people pleasing can protect you from the discomfort, but why that's not the goal How to let someone's dislike of you be their thing to carry instead of yours Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this solo episode, Alissa names the exhaustion of shape shifting to fit an imagined mold of what's acceptable, and offers the alternative: deciding, every day, who you are and how you want to show up. Sparked by comments on a viral Instagram post about owning being "too much," Alissa calls out the excuse that other's won't let you be your true self. She's not buying the narrative that other people's discomfort is proof something is wrong with you. Pulling from her own story and pattern she keeps hearing from women in the Not Too Sensitive Club, she shares ways you can take back your power and decide who you are going to be. In this episode, you'll learn: Why trying to fit into everyone's idea of acceptable costs you pieces of yourself The real difference between wanting connection and needing everyone's approval What moving to California from Minnesota taught Alissa about owning her differences instead of hiding them Why overthinking after a social interaction is your nervous system reading it as a threat to belonging, not a character flaw How self-worth changes the entire experience of imperfect social moments Why healing your triggers matters as much as understanding where they came from Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
Alissa recently shared a post that said "please be too much," and it went viral, reaching over 2 million people after nearly two years of feeling like her work wasn't getting seen. But this episode isn't really about going viral. It's about what happened in those two quiet years before it, and why the willingness to show up anyway, even when you feel embarrassed, judged, or invisible, is what actually builds confidence and self-trust. For sensitive people, the fear of being seen trying runs deep. Alissa offers two words that changed her life: so what? She shares the stories behind it, from being mocked by people she went to high school with, to an email that hit her most painful insecurity square in the chest, to the six years of unseen work that led to her book deal with Penguin Random House. You don't wait until you feel healed and confident to start. You start, and that's what makes you confident. In this episode, you'll learn: Why "so what?" are two of the most freeing words when you're afraid of being judged What showing up without applause does for your identity and self-trust over time Why waiting until you feel fully healed to take action is actually fear and control in disguise How saying you want something but never acting on it quietly erodes your trust in yourself What it looks like to treat triggers as stepping stones instead of stop signs The difference between responding from your sensitive shadow archetype and your sensitive strength archetype Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this solo episode, Alissa shares the duality she's been living inside, where heartbreak over a forever diagnosis sits right next to genuine blessing, and offers a way to honor every feeling without letting those feelings run the show. Through real moments from her own week, the 7am overwhelm she interrupted with gratitude, the choked up drive home from the doctor, the surprise of a new car the same afternoon, she gets honest about what it really means to be steady. Being unbothered was never about feeling less. It's about feeling all of it and still choosing how you move forward. In this episode, you'll learn: Why holding duality, the joy and the grief together, is one of the most important skills for a sensitive person What it means to honor your feelings without letting your feelings make every decision How a quick gratitude rampage can pull you out of a morning spiral How to catch the moments you slip into "why is this happening to me" and choose a higher perspective instead The difference between pushing past a hard feeling and actually moving through it Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
Being seen means being judged. In this episode, Alissa lays out why that's not a reason to stay small, and what it actually takes to let other people have an opinion of you without losing yourself in it. For HSPs, this isn't just a confidence issue. It's energetic. You feel it when someone misreads you, when a comment lands sideways, when the room shifts after you share something you're proud of. The instinct is to pull back, smooth it over, or shrink to keep the peace. Alissa pulls from her own experience, including a pointed DM from a stranger who made it clear she wasn't a fan, and from a client who just hit a major life milestone and immediately felt the weight of other people's reactions. In this episode, you'll learn: Why being judged is actually a sign you're doing something that matters The "zoomed out lens": how to observe someone's reaction without taking it on as your own What it really means to allow someone the dignity of their own experience, including their jealousy or discomfort with your success Practical energy-clearing techniques for releasing what doesn't belong to you Why dimming yourself to protect other people's feelings costs you more than it saves them Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
For HSPs navigating a world that wasn't built for them, the default can become: everything is hard, no one understands, and discomfort is a signal to retreat. In this solo episode, Alissa challenges that frame directly. She shares how her life experience has shaped her view of challenges. So even with the newest challenge life is giving her, to raise her daughter Blaine through a Type 1 diabetes and celiac diagnosis, she knows this discomfort is not something to escape but the exact thing that is building her confidence that she can handle the life she wants. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why expanding your tolerance for discomfort is the foundation of feeling steady and unbothered in your daily life How resilience shows up as curiosity about what a triggering moment is pointing to The cost of living as the "effect" of everything around you Why being an open-hearted, sensitive person in a non-sensitive world is something to own, not apologize for How every trigger and insecurity that surfaces is an invitation to strengthen something within yourself Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this episode, Alissa revisits one of the most important distinctions for highly sensitive people: the difference between caring about someone and carrying their experience as your own. Using real examples from clients and her own life, she unpacks why the impulse to manage other people's emotions is actually anxiety disguised as empathy. For HSPs who grew up as the peacekeeper, the fixer, or the emotionally responsible one, this pattern runs deep. The discomfort of watching someone be disappointed, frustrated, or hurt can feel so unbearable that smoothing it over becomes automatic. But Alissa names what that actually costs: your steadiness, your self-worth, and your ability to show up with any real integrity. You’ll Learn: Why the urge to smooth things over or manage someone's reaction often comes from your own discomfort, not from genuine care The difference between high self-worth and self-abandonment when someone pushes back on a boundary you've set How HSPs who grew up as caretakers or peacekeepers learned to tie their sense of safety to other people's emotional states What it looks like to let someone have a hard feeling without making yourself responsible for changing it Why allowing people the dignity of their own experience is an act of respect, not indifference Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this solo episode, Alissa explores one of the most deeply ingrained patterns she sees in highly sensitive people: the belief that having needs makes you a burden. For HSPs, this is a story that gets built early, when your emotional reactions were “too big”, when your needs felt different from everyone else's, and when the people around you responded with frustration instead of understanding. That story then follows you into adulthood, into relationships, and even into restaurants where you over-apologize to the waitress for ordering plain chicken. You’ll Learn: Why HSPs are especially vulnerable to good girl conditioning and how it shows up in relationships, work, and health Ways you may be getting something out of being the over-apologizing, people pleaser that ends up keeping you stuck. How your triggers in moments of self-advocacy are actually your best opportunities to build self-worth What it means to expand your tolerance for discomfort so other people's reactions stop running the show Why letting people help you, and asking for what you need, is a signal of openness, not weakness Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
In this solo episode, Alissa shares a deeply personal update about her daughter's new celiac disease diagnosis and what it revealed about the way life equips you long before you understand why. Years of navigating her own severe digestive issues, strict diets, and the emotional weight of feeling different gave Alissa a toolkit she never expected to need for her child. She connects that thread to the broader truth about how sensitivity, struggle, and the discomfort of being "too much" are never wasted. You’ll Learn: The difference between riding the wave of hard emotions and getting stuck in "why is this happening to me" energy How confidence is built through withstanding discomfort A Not Too Sensitive Club member's story of staying steady in the face of someone else's judgment The shift from living as the effect of your environment to sourcing your own steadiness: Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
Alissa opens up about the very challenging season of life her and her family have recently been thrust into. Her three year old daughter Blaine was suddenly diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, and navigating it has revealed so much about the power of sensitivity, the discipline of steadiness, and the choice to see growth inside the pain. In this episode: How Alissa's sensitivity helped her catch her daughter's diabetes early The practice of being steady and grounded for your child while separately making space to feel everything, cry, and lean on people who can hold it Why the adjustment period after a life disruption often means you stop caring for yourself first, and how to return to yourself. The shift from "this isn't fair" to "I was given this because I can carry it." How Alissa's faith has been an anchor for her through this experience. The Not Too Sensitive Club protocol reframes challenges as expansions. Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
This episode is one of the most downloaded episodes of the podcast, and for good reason! Alissa chats with Matt Landsiedel about the pattern so many empaths know but rarely name: feeling overly responsible for everyone else's energy, emotions, and well-being. Together they unpack the deeper reasons HSPs fall into overfunctioning, where empathy ends and codependency begins, and what it looks like to stop rushing in to save everyone around you. If you missed this one the first time or need the reminder, this is your sign to press play. You'll Learn: Why empaths often carry a sense of responsibility that was never theirs to hold The subtle difference between deeply feeling someone's pain and making it your job to fix it What overfunctioning actually looks like in everyday relationships Practical ways to pause before stepping into the "rescuer" role Connect with Matt: IG: @inspiredtobeauthentic Youtube: Inspired to Be Authentic Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
This week, Alissa sits down with social anxiety coach and author Claire Eastham to unpack where that fear really comes from and what it takes to stop performing your way through every interaction. Claire shares how years of masking and people-pleasing led to a nervous breakdown, and how embracing the very traits she'd been told were "too much" became the turning point. Together they explore why sensitive, empathic people are especially prone to over-scripting social situations and why the goal was never to stop feeling uncomfortable. This conversation is equal parts honest and light, full of personal stories, practical strategies, and the kind of permission-giving reframes that change how you show up. The real shift isn't becoming someone who doesn't get anxious. It's becoming someone who doesn't need to hide it. In this episode: Why social anxiety develops from early experiences of being told you're "not okay" the way you are, and how the brain starts treating social situations as threats The two patterns people fall into: total avoidance or over-preparing and scripting every interaction, and why neither leads to real connection How naming your anxiety out loud in the moment can cut it in half and why the shame of being "found out" is often worse than the anxiety itself Claire's approach to gradual exposure with a specific goal, broken into small steps, paired with genuine rewards The power of replacing small talk with real questions and why curiosity is a better social strategy than performance Why the most magnetic version of you isn't a polished persona but the one who's actually comfortable being themselves Connect with Claire: Website: https://substack.com/@thatsocialanxietycoach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5bv5ps Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claireeasthamuk/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wereallmadhere00 My new book 'Party with Panic: How to Conquer Panix Attacks (for good)' Is available to pre-order now and will be published on 11th May. For every copy sold I will donate 50p to the charity MQ . https://amzn.eu/d/06xOHhPO Uncover your sneaky internal belief that’s stopping you from being your most confident self TAKE The FREE Shadow Archetype Quiz NOW Learn my 6-step process for managing & neutralizing your triggers as an HSP in our FREE UN-Botherable Workshop ! Join the Not Too Sensitive Club 🦋 My group coaching container for highly sensitive women where self-doubt becomes certainty, second-guessing turns into self-trust, and overthinking transforms into rock-solid intuition. CLICK HERE to learn more! Follow Alissa on Substack: https://substack.com/@lifebyalissa As a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my workshop for HSPs called Not "Too Sensitive" (usually $35)! All you have to do is: Leave a written review of this podcast on Apple Podcasts Email a screenshot of your review to hello@lifebyalissa.com That's it! 😊 🦋🦋🦋 Follow along on Instagram: @lifebyalissa
Ranking source
Apple Podcasts rankings via the Mato Topic Intelligence Platform.
Observed September 13, 2026. Cached outside the daily freshness window; the positions keep the date they were taken on.
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