The Covert Narcissism Podcast

Last week, we asked whether passive-aggressive behavior is always narcissistic. The answer was no — but that still left a big question: how do you actually tell the difference in real time, and what do you do once you know? This episode gives you both. We go deeper into fear-based and care-based passive aggression — the kind that comes from being afraid of conflict, or from truly not wanting to hurt someone's feelings — and we talk honestly about how this pattern can show up even in survivors of covert narcissistic abuse themselves. Then we get practical. You'll learn how to actually identify passive-aggressive behavior in the moment, starting with that gut feeling when someone's words and their energy don't match. We walk through how to gently call it out without turning it into a fight, and how to read the response you get back — because the response, not the original behavior, is what actually tells you whether you're dealing with fear, care, or control. Finally, we get into what to actually do about it — in romantic relationships, with family, with friends, and at work — depending on what you find. What you'll learn: how to spot the internal signal that something's off, tools for identifying passive-aggressive behavior in real time, exactly what "gently calling it out" sounds like in real conversations, how to read someone's response to tell fear from control, and practical next steps for every relationship in your life. P.S. — I'm opening two new coaching groups: Healing from Covert Narcissistic Abuse and High-Conflict Divorce. And my book, This Is Not Okay, releases next month. Head to covertnarcissism.com to learn more about both. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. I share stories from my personal experience as well as from those I've talked with over several years. This material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Did they make you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson reads through real responses from her Covert Narcissism Group — the private Facebook community she started in 2018 — after asking members one question: what do you do now, just because you enjoy it? From napping and puzzles to solo walks, quiet mornings, and leaving the dishes in the sink, this episode explores how survivors of covert narcissistic abuse are reclaiming the small joys that were once used against them. Renee breaks down why covert narcissists sabotage self-care and autonomy, why "he doesn't say anything" can still be a form of control, and the real difference between healthy guilt and toxic guilt — and how to finally tell toxic guilt to take a hike. If you've ever felt guilty for taking a bath, going to a yoga class, or just sitting still and doing nothing, this episode is for you. Learn how to recognize toxic guilt, reclaim your right to rest, and start rebuilding the autonomy that covert narcissistic relationships take away. Looking for support? Join Renee's free, closed Facebook group, Covert Narcissism Group, to connect with others healing from narcissistic abuse. Ready for the next step? Learn more about Renee's coaching program at www.covertnarcissism.com . The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever asked someone "are you okay?" and gotten a four-syllable "I'm fine" that clearly meant the opposite? That's passive-aggressive behavior — and it's one of the sneakiest patterns to name out loud, because it's built to be deniable. In this episode, we break down the real signs of passive-aggressive behavior across relationships, family, friendships, and work — with specific examples you'll recognize immediately. Then we tackle the question listeners ask constantly: is all passive-aggressive behavior narcissistic? The honest answer is no. Some people are passive-aggressive because they're genuinely afraid of conflict, not because they're trying to manipulate you. But fear-based or not, passive aggression still blocks the thing every real relationship needs — open, honest conversation. We'll walk through how to tell a scared communicator from a controlling one, and what to do either way. What you'll learn: how to spot passive-aggressive behavior in real time, the difference between fear-based and narcissistic passive aggression, and why "they're not a narcissist" doesn't mean you have to live with the silent treatment. If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. There's a point where understanding is not enough, and you need support in actually moving through it. If you're there, I invite you to work with me. Your story matters, and you deserve to be heard without judgment. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com . I am here and ready to help. And don't forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. I share stories from my personal experience as well as from those I've talked with over several years. This material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What if the episode you already listened to still has more to teach you the second time around? In this throwback episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee revisits one of the most-requested episodes in the show's history — the original breakdown of the six types of narcissism: grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, communal, somatic, and cerebral. Instead of just replaying it, she reads back her own words from a year and a half ago and reframes them with everything she's learned since, including sharper insight into how covert narcissism shows up differently across each type, and what those patterns actually cost the people living with them. In this episode, you'll learn: Why covert narcissism isn't its own category, and why that reframe changes how you spot it How grandiose, vulnerable, malignant, communal, somatic, and cerebral narcissism each show up overtly versus covertly Real examples of covert narcissistic behavior — guilt-tripping, gaslighting, backhanded compliments, and fishing for validation Why understanding the pattern doesn't mean you're obligated to stay and manage it If you missed the initial episode, here it is - Unmasking Narcissism If you've ever felt like you understand narcissistic behavior but something still isn't fully clicking, this one's for you — sometimes the same words hit differently the second time around. Ready for support applying what you're learning? Explore coaching at www.covertnarcissism.com . This episode is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or clinical care. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert narcissism doesn't just create crisis moments — it leaves your nervous system stuck in a chronic state of hypervigilance long after the argument ends. You can get good at managing the spike, catching yourself mid-reaction, and still lie awake at night with your jaw clenched and your shoulders up around your ears for no reason at all. In this episode on narcissistic abuse recovery, Renee explains allostatic load — what happens when a nervous system adapts to years of walking on eggshells, gaslighting, and unpredictable moods in a covert narcissistic relationship, and never fully comes back down. She breaks down what chronic hypervigilance actually looks like from the inside, what it does to the body physically, and introduces eight new tools for lowering your baseline over time: Worry Spot, Villain Voice, Letter to Future You, The Doorway Reset, The Off-Duty Ritual, Compliment Jar, The Do-Nothing Timer, and The Petty Playlist. This is part two of a two-part series on covert narcissism and fight or flight. If you haven't heard part one, start there for eight in-the-moment crisis tools built for the spike itself. If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns of narcissistic abuse in your relationship — but still feel stuck in the same cycles of emotional dysregulation and self-doubt — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, I invite you to check out my coaching program at www.covertnarcissism.com . And if this episode helped, please subscribe so you don't miss what's next. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever ignored a gut feeling on a date because you wanted to "give him a chance"? In this episode, I'm sharing a conversation from Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse — host Dr. Kerry McAvoy sits down with Dr. Jennie Young, a PhD linguist and creator of the viral Burned Haystack Dating Method, to break down how the words men use in dating profiles and early text messages expose who they really are before you've ever met in person. Dr. Young holds a PhD in rhetoric and discourse studies, specializing in critical discourse analysis — the study of how language reveals what people don't want you to know. In this episode, she shows you how to spot manipulation, love-bombing, and red flags in dating apps and texting before you invest your time and heart. If you're rebuilding trust in your own instincts and want practical tools for reading between the lines in online dating, this episode is for you. Guest: Dr. Jennie Young, author of Burn the Haystack: Decode Dating, Torch the Duds, and Make Room for Men Who Matter — Instagram: @word_case_scenario Originally aired on: Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse, hosted by Dr. Kerry McAvoy (kerrymcavoyphd.com) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you've ever felt your chest tighten before your phone even finishes ringing, or braced for a reaction before you've said a single word — you already know what fight or flight feels like in a covert narcissistic relationship. It's rarely one dramatic moment. It's the accumulation: a grocery store phone call, an ordinary dinner plan, a night class — small moments that train your nervous system to expect danger from everyday life. In this episode, part one of a two-part series on fight or flight and narcissistic abuse recovery, Renee breaks down what's actually happening in your body during a fight or flight response, why hypervigilance develops after covert narcissistic abuse, and how this response can show up as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Then she walks through eight in-the-moment tools you can reach for the next time your body starts to spiral — including the Curiosity Tool, the Match & Release technique, and six additional grounding and nervous system regulation strategies for moments when you need something quieter, faster, or less visible. This episode focuses entirely on crisis management — what to do right now, in the moment. Part two will cover prevention: the daily practices that lower your baseline over time so these moments happen less often, and hit softer when they do. To revisit a previous episode that breaks down the 4 F's of the fight/flight response, check out Why Your Fight or Flight Response Turned Into Fawning If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns in your relationship — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, I invite you to check out my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com . And if this episode helped, please subscribe so you don't miss part two next week. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In Part 2 of this CNG Community Chat, Renee Swanson continues the conversation with three parents navigating parental alienation and covert narcissistic abuse — this time focused on how to protect the relationship with the children they still have access to, and how to hold onto hope with the ones they don't. The conversation opens with a powerful explanation of why alienation happens the way it does: narcissists often break down the other parent first, creating chaos and instability, so they can step in as the "fun" or "stable" one by comparison — making it far harder for kids to see the dynamic clearly. From there, each parent shares the practical, day-to-day ways they protect their bond with their children: keeping conversations about each child separate from conflict with an ex, using books and movies like Beauty and the Beast and Tangled to name manipulation and control without directly attacking the other parent, working with trauma-informed therapists, and learning to let anger be an acceptable emotion after years of suppressing it. They also talk honestly about grief — the grief of losing access to a child, the grief of not being believed, and the importance of giving yourself (and your kids) permission not to have all the answers. One parent shares the advice that reframed everything for him: "your child is just the messenger," and how staying present with the child in front of you matters more than fighting every battle in the moment. This episode is a continuation of Part 1 — if you haven't listened yet, start there for the full context. Whether you're facing active alienation, co-parenting with a narcissist, or working to rebuild trust with an estranged child, this conversation offers validation, practical strategies, and the reminder that healing is possible. To work with Renee, visit her website at www.covertnarcissism.com The Covert Narcissism Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here should be taken as professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis or need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This isn't my story anymore. It's ours. In this solo episode, I'm finally announcing something I've been sitting on for a long time: my book, This Is Not Okay: Escaping the Invisible Grip of Covert Narcissistic Abuse , is coming this fall. I walk you through the five stages this book moves through — the same stages so many of us move through on the way to healing from covert narcissistic abuse: recognizing, understanding, seeing, untangling, and reclaiming. I share what's inside each stage, including a few passages straight from the pages. But more than anything, this episode is about why this was never just my story to tell. From the moment I realized I wasn't the only one living this nightmare, this became about neighbor helping neighbor — about building a community where no survivor has to heal alone. I talk about CNG, our Facebook group, group coaching, and what happened at this year's retreat in Colorado, which was the best one we've had yet. If you've ever minimized what you were living through because no one was yelling and nothing was bleeding — this episode, and this book, are for you. To work with Renee Swanson, visit her website at www.covertnarcissism.com As always, I wish you so much peace on your journey of healing. The stories and examples in this book are drawn from the author's professional experience working with survivors of covert narcissistic abuse. To protect the privacy of those individuals, names, locations, and identifying details have been changed or omitted. Some individuals portrayed are composites of multiple people, and some dialogue and events have been reconstructed or condensed to convey their essential meaning. Any resemblance to any specific, identifiable individual is unintentional. This book is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute legal, financial, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be treated as a substitute for professional guidance. Renee Swanson is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. If you are experiencing abuse or struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a qualified professional or trusted support resource. The author and publisher assume no liability for any actions taken or not taken based on the content of this book. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this CNG Community Chat, host Renee Swanson sits down with three parents who are living through one of the most painful experiences a parent can face: watching a child be turned against them. This conversation covers parental alienation, covert narcissism, high-conflict divorce, and co-parenting with a narcissistic ex — and the very real toll it takes on the parent-child relationship. Each parent shares the moment they first recognized what was happening. One mother describes how truths that surfaced during her divorce led her adult daughter to accuse her of "victim shaming" her father, and how setting boundaries afterward resulted in being cut off entirely. A stepfather describes an abrupt separation after twelve years, being blindsided in court, and watching his stepson slowly pull away after being fed misinformation about his health and character. Another mother walks through a slow, multi-year alienation across four children — three of whom are now living full-time with their father after being coached to testify against her in family court. Together, they talk through the patterns that show up again and again in covert narcissistic abuse: the push-pull dynamic with adult children, the "Disneyland parent" effect where boundaries and rules drive kids toward the more permissive parent, how narcissists destabilize the other parent first to make themselves look like the stable one, and why children often side with whichever parent they're most afraid of losing — not the parent who is actually safe. This episode is honest, unfiltered, and validating for anyone currently experiencing parental alienation, co-parenting conflict, or estrangement from a child due to narcissistic abuse. If you're in the middle of this right now, you are not alone. To work with Renee Swanson, visit www.covertnarcissism.com The Covert Narcissism Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Nothing shared here should be taken as professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis or need support, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you ever discovered narcissism in your relationship, started reading everything you could find, and then panicked — wondering if you were the one who created the pattern you were seeing? In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson opens up about a fear she's never shared before: the worry that dwelling on covert narcissism had somehow manifested it in her marriage. She walks through the exact passages from Eleanor Payson's The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists that jumped off the page at her early in her journey, and why recognition is not the same thing as manifestation. This episode covers covert narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, the difference between normal self-centeredness and a true narcissistic pattern, and the safeguard Renee uses to answer one simple question: does this person ever return to baseline? If you've ever doubted your own perception of narcissistic abuse in your own marriage or family, this conversation will help you trust what you already know. If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, I invite you to join me in my coaching program at www.covertnarcissism.com . And if this episode resonated with you, please subscribe so you never miss one. This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care; please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general — Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years, and her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist; that would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Narcissistic abuse and predatory behavior often hide in plain sight — and this episode pulls back the curtain on exactly how. In this special crossover conversation, I'm sharing an episode from Dr. Kerry McAvoy's podcast, Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse , featuring her conversation with Don Hennessy. Don Hennessy is an Irish psychotherapist who has spent decades working directly with abusive men and their partners, giving him a rare, firsthand understanding of how predatory control actually operates. In this episode, Don and Kerry expose the hidden playbook these men use to infiltrate a partner's mind — often so gradually that she doesn't realize it's happening until she's already trapped in it. You'll learn what these predators are truly after, why the tactics are so effective, and why survivors so often walk away wondering how they missed the signs. If you've ever felt gaslighted, found yourself walking on eggshells, or struggled to explain a trauma bonding dynamic you couldn't quite name, this conversation will help you understand the mechanics behind it — and why it was never your fault. Go find Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse wherever you listen to podcasts, and follow Kerry for more. If you're recognizing these patterns in your own life and are ready to move from understanding into healing, I invite you to join me in my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. And if you found this episode valuable, please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Narcissistic entitlement rarely looks like arrogance from the outside. Often it looks like two people with "different expectations" — normal disagreements, normal marriage friction. In this episode of the Covert Narcissism Podcast, Renee Swanson breaks down why that framing is misleading: in a relationship with a covert narcissist, one partner's expectations are about the relationship, and the other partner's expectations are simply about being served by it. Renee shares her own story of slowly recognizing this pattern — long after she was living inside it — and unpacks the difference between expectations that include both people and expectations that only ever point one direction. She walks through what this looked like in her marriage and her parenting, how narcissistic entitlement disguises itself as normal disagreement, and how DARVO, gaslighting, and walking on eggshells show up in ordinary daily moments rather than dramatic confrontations. She also addresses directly that this dynamic isn't limited to narcissistic husbands — the same entitlement shows up in narcissistic wives, too. If you've ever felt like you were the only one in your relationship doing the self-reflecting, the growing, the adjusting — while the other person's behavior somehow never became the subject of the conversation — this episode will help you name what narcissistic abuse recovery actually requires you to see first. If you're ready to move from understanding these patterns to actually healing from them, I invite you to join my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe so you don't miss future conversations like this one. This information is provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching for educational purposes only, and is not to be used for diagnosis or as a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Part two of this CNG Community Chat picks up where we left off, as four moms go deeper into what it's like to parent through covert narcissistic abuse. They talk honestly about whether they see these patterns showing up again in their kids' own relationships and friendships, and close with the one piece of advice each of them wishes she'd been given back when she was standing right where you might be standing now. If this resonates, my coaching program can help you work through it one-on-one — learn more here: www.covertnarcissism.com Want conversations like this one delivered straight to you? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. And if you'd like to be part of a future CNG Community Chat, you can sign up here: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats The Covert Narcissism Podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared by the host and guests reflects personal experiences and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or believe you may be in an abusive situation, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional or contact the appropriate crisis resources in your area. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Covert narcissism doesn't always look like rage — sometimes it looks like a warm smile and a locked tower door. In this episode, we break down two Disney stories that map almost perfectly onto real narcissistic abuse patterns: Beauty and the Beast, and Tangled. The Beast shows the overt side — imprisonment, an explosive temper, a rescue that resets everything, and the exact mechanics of trauma bonding when the source of fear and the source of safety are the same person. Mother Gothel shows the covert side — guilt instead of rage, conditional warmth instead of yelling, isolation dressed up as protection. No raised voice, no locked door by force, and yet a young woman spends her life believing a cage was love. Together, these stories map the full spectrum of narcissistic abuse, and why covert patterns are often the hardest to name — there's no single dramatic moment to point to and say, "there, that's when it went wrong." If you've ever loved someone who scared you sometimes and soothed you other times, or felt loved and small around the same person at once, this episode will help you name what you lived through — and start your narcissistic abuse recovery with clarity instead of self-blame. If you've been listening, learning, and starting to see the patterns — but still feel stuck in the same cycles — that's not because you're missing information. It's because this isn't something you're meant to untangle alone. If you're ready to take the next step toward healing, check out my coaching services at www.covertnarcissism.com . I am here and ready to help. And don't forget to subscribe for more empowering episodes like this one. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this two-part CNG Community Chat, four moms sit down to talk about one of the hardest parts of covert narcissistic abuse recovery: watching your children start to see it for themselves. In part one, they share the specific moments — some sudden, some slow-dawning — when their kids realized what was really happening at home, and what daily life looks like now as their relationships with the other parent shift. If you've ever wondered how much your kids really see, or carried guilt about what they've lived through, this conversation will meet you right where you are. If this resonates, my coaching program can help you work through it one-on-one — learn more here: www.covertnarcissism.com Want conversations like this one delivered straight to you? Subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. If you'd like to be part of a future CNG Community Chat, you can sign up here: https://www.covertnarcissism.com/community-chats The stories shared in this episode reflect the personal experiences and perspectives of community members and are shared for the purpose of support, connection, and healing — not as therapy, diagnosis, or legal advice. Every family situation is different, and if you're navigating covert narcissistic abuse, custody concerns, or your children's wellbeing, please consult a licensed therapist or attorney who can speak to your specific circumstances. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When one parent shows up as the "nice, generous" one — buying gifts instead of ever offering real repair, gaslighting instead of listening — kids learn to distrust the very signals that are supposed to keep them safe. In this episode, Renee walks through practical, age-specific tools to help kids and teens of a covert narcissist reconnect with their own nervous system: how to recognize an emotional signal before it becomes a full-blown meltdown, how to separate a parent's gaslighting from their own gut-check, and how to teach a child that their feelings don't need anyone's permission to be real. Whether you're newly separated, co-parenting with a covert narcissist, or supporting kids through narcissistic abuse recovery, this episode gives you language and tools you can use today. If you're ready for more support on your own healing journey, I invite you to check out my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com . If this episode spoke to you, please subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In part two of this community chat, the conversation goes even deeper. We pick back up right where we left off — with Denise sharing what it actually took to go no contact after twenty-seven years of covert narcissistic abuse, including the post-separation hoovering, manipulation, and false self-awareness that so often follows a breakup or divorce with a covert narcissist. She also opens up about hitting a devastating low point before finally realizing that no contact was the only way forward — a moment that changes everything for her. We talk about triangulation, and how a narcissistic parent can quietly turn children against the healthier parent — often without either parent realizing what's happening until years later, and what it's like to uncover that damage after the fact. We talk about grief, and how leaving a narcissistic relationship means grieving not just the relationship, but the person you thought you were with, and the future you thought you'd have. We talk about trauma bonding, gaslighting, and why it can take so long to see clearly, even after you've physically left — especially when years of walking on eggshells have taught you to doubt your own perception. This episode also gets into the real, physical cost of narcissistic abuse — chronic health conditions, PTSD, emotional dysregulation, and the mental exhaustion that comes from years of narcissistic abuse recovery work. And we talk about what it actually looks like to start finding yourself again after covert narcissism: rebuilding your identity, reclaiming your self-advocacy, discovering strengths you didn't know you had, and learning to trust your own instincts after a covert narcissist spent years teaching you not to. This isn't a tidy, wrapped-up healing story — it's honest, and it's real. If you're navigating your own narcissistic abuse recovery, whether you've just gone no contact or you're years down the road, this conversation is for you. To work with Renee, visit her website at www.covertnarcissism.com The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

If you've ever felt like something was missing in a relationship with a covert narcissist — a flatness, a lack of depth, a sense that you're never quite reaching the real person — this episode is for you. In this episode, Renee breaks down the mask covert narcissists wear using a new framework: not a costume hiding a "true self," but a crown covering an exposed nerve that never developed protection. This reframe explains why the mask never fully comes off, and why even gentle honesty can trigger a reaction that feels wildly out of proportion. You'll learn why DARVO, stonewalling, disproportionate rage, and hollow apologies aren't calculated manipulation so much as reflexive alarm responses. You'll also understand why walking on eggshells around someone never actually works — because real intimacy means eventually touching the nerve, no matter how careful you are. This episode reframes narcissistic abuse recovery around a compassionate but clear-eyed truth: the emptiness you sensed was real, and it was never your failure to look hard enough. If this episode resonates and you're ready for support in moving forward, I invite you to learn more about my coaching program at covertnarcissism.com. You don't have to untangle this alone. The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Some of the hardest questions in a narcissistic relationship don't have easy answers — and "do I stay, or do I go" is one of them. In this episode, I'm joined by three women from our CNG community for a raw, honest community chat about life inside a covert narcissistic relationship, and the impossible in-between of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what to do about it. These ladies each share their own version of the fog — the gradual awakening to covert narcissism, the years spent believing this was just normal marital struggle, and the moment they finally had language for what they were living. We talk about what it's like to be married to someone who is charming and beloved by everyone else, while walking on eggshells at home — a form of gaslighting that leaves you questioning your own reality. We talk about the isolation of COVID and how it forced so many people to finally recognize the narcissistic abuse they were living with day in and day out. We talk about the fear of opening up to someone for the first time, and what it costs to carry something invisible, completely alone. We also get into the real reasons so many of us stay in these relationships — financial fear, trauma bonding, health struggles, kids, guilt, the belief that if we just tried harder or understood more, things would change. And we start to unpack how deeply narcissistic abuse impacts the body, not just the mind — the emotional dysregulation, the mental exhaustion, the physical toll of walking on eggshells for years. Whether you're still in the fog yourself, actively trying to make sense of your relationship, or years removed and just now connecting the dots, this conversation on narcissistic abuse recovery will meet you where you are. This is part one of a two-part conversation — part two goes even deeper into what it took for these women to finally leave, and what healing actually looked like on the other side. For more help specific to your journey, visit www.covertnarcissism.com The information provided by Renee Swanson, Covert Narcissism Podcast, and CNG Life Coaching is for educational purposes only and is not to be used for diagnosis purposes and not intended to be a substitute for clinical care. Please consult a health care provider for guidance specific to your case. This material discusses narcissism in general. Renee shares stories from her personal experiences as well as from those she has talked with for several years. Her material does not claim that any specific person has narcissism and should not be used to refer to any specific person as having narcissism. Permission is not granted to link to or repost this material to support an allegation or support a claim that any specific person is a narcissist. That would be an unauthorized misuse of the material and information provided. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.