Bad Movies Rule!

The first mailbag of September is here and the BMRmy showed up heavy. James, Clint, and Ryan kick things off with Great Outdoors leftover emails, a Battlefield Earth marriage update, teen-vs-adult movie letdowns, and a Christmas movie rec that almost qualifies. Then the voicemails get unhinged: a raccoon-and-parasite survival story that takes a hard left into blood cravings, Deadliest Warrior identified at last, Toto singing the Gummi Bears theme, bear-wrangling movie magic, Reggie the Long Beach alligator, and a Kansas highway tire that nearly ended a family road trip. Joe and Rachel take the night shift and rip through 15 packages. Movies pour in (Mannequin, the full Smokey and the Bandit run, Time Bandits, Yellowbeard, Gung Ho, Cooties, the complete Ash vs Evil Dead, Saturday Night Fever + Stayin’ Alive). Christian ships South African chips and wors from across the ocean. Someone gifts a factory-sealed Steven Seagal CD featuring “Alligator Ass” and “Talk to My Ass.” Joe gets a commissioned portrait and an Ace Ventura rhinoceros pencil sharpener. Jimmy White drops They Live, Phantom, Flash Gordon figures, a Packers Transformer, and Mass Effect N7 shot glasses. Plus: the Patreon push toward 1,000 (calendar), 1,050 (host trading cards), and 1,100 (Bob care package + reverse mailbag videos). Send your own:this.show.is.trash@gmail.com (262) 757-8567 PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 The mailbag theme is on Spotify. Add it to a playlist and skip us if you want. We won’t be mad. Much. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Patron Jim D hand-picked this one and the crew, so the pressure is on. Michael J. Fox turns into a basketball werewolf in the most 1985 movie ever made, and James, Joe, Bob, and Curt are here to ride the Wolfmobile straight through it. We break down the free-throw panic, the locker-room “changes,” van surfing with sandpaper on the roof, the liquor-store keg heist, Seven Minutes in Heaven gone feral, a dad who is the cutest werewolf alive, a dance that invents “The Wolf,” and a championship game that somehow still has referees. Also: red rockets, Beavers, breakdancers who don’t go to this school, and whether Pamela actually wanted the wolf. Plus Arnold recasts, the awards (intensity, trash-can performance, one-scene wonder, best supporting), and the official BMR verdict… which we will not spoil here. Due to Jim D. Come howl with us. We’re pushing for 1,000 patrons by October 15. Calendar, trading cards, and Bob’s care package are on the line. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Douglas Tait has worn two of horror’s most famous masks and still answers to Sasquatch. The actor/stuntman/creature performer talks growing up on classic monsters, landing the final Jason scene in Freddy vs. Jason, doubling Michael Myers, surviving brutal suit days, and directing his own thriller Angel Baby. Plus Zathura practical effects, Grimm’s Zerstörer, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, and a few jobs so dumb he still can’t believe he cashed the check. Find Doug at conventions and @DouglasTait on Instagram and TikTok. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mailbag is still going. We’re doing this till we’re 90. James, Clint, and Ryan kick off with a quick tribute after losing Dolly Parton and Tim Curry in the same stretch — both at 80. Then it’s voicemails, emails, road-trip disasters, and the usual “please stop breaking the One Scene Wonder award” energy. You’ll hear: Why Raising Cane’s and Bojangles turn you into a liar Movie pitches that include a T-Rex pastor, a killer sofa, a llama at a house party, and Attack of the Killer Donuts Loose Cannons… and the plot device nobody should lead with Kid puke stories that somehow get worse Minnesota gators, a basement baby alligator, and an elevator that tries to murder a family An Ace Ventura 2 extra story that turns into a set-etiquette debate HR emailing about the awards counter (again) Ohio discourse that will not die Why the show works even when the movie doesn’t Day shift hands it to the night shift. Same chaos. Different voices. Send more: thisshowistrash@gmail.com Voicemail: (262) 757-8567 PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Patreon.com/badmoviesrule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998) storms the Bad Movies Rule table after Dwayne from Tennessee cashed in his Full Dudikoff pick. James Woods leads a Vatican-backed slayer squad that hunts bloodsuckers the hard way: cable-gun, Jeep winch, and enough F-bombs to bless a whole motel. First-time guest Luke joins James, Clint, and Dave as they rip into dirt-nap masters, a 48-hour “romance” that starts with a punch, a priest who won’t stay in his lane, and a plot that keeps inventing new vampire rules just so it can break them. Crosses don’t work. Garlic gets you bent over. And somebody really wants to know who got a boner. Grab a stake and hit play. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Bad Movies Rule! Mailbag! James is joined by Ryan Mueller and Clint Busch for the day shift, then hands it off to Joe, Curt, and Bob for the night shift package opening. We dig into emails and voicemails from Michael (catching up hard and recommending Double Trouble + Evolution), Johnny Golab (Alabama gator facts + the $2 Spear Hunting Museum), Phil/Barry (praising The Thing, requesting Vampires, and dropping the Paul Orndorff nearly-in-Rambo 2 story), Andrew from Canada (the ultimate “just send the damn email” PSA), Billy from St. Pete (new Discord energy), Jason from Ohio (owning the Toledo War manifesto and clearing the air), the Leeds, Alabama call, Joe’s “F*** Ohio” astronaut theory, Bill’s preview pet peeve (and James’s honest answer), Matt Mulholland’s PB&J alligator and Key West near-miss, Derek/Rick’s introduction + Bitch Slap recommendation, AA Ron’s Great Outdoors Intensity Award case and Weird Science connection, John from the UK’s Mean Guns pitch, DJ Campbell’s bat-in-the-bedroom story, and Matt’s nightmare Disney drive with an 18-month-old. Then the physical mail hits: Mannequin 2, Class of 1984, Frankenhooker, Monty Python’s Flying Circus Series 1, Bad Channels, Cutthroat Island, Vision Quest, and more get added to the BMR Reacts pile. As always, send us your stories, recommendations, and packages: this show is trash at gmail.com (262) 757-8567 P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the crew packs up the station wagon and heads for the Northwoods—except it’s California playing Wisconsin, because of course it is. John Candy and Dan Aykroyd star in this John Hughes-scripted tale of two families, one cabin, and a vacation that goes exactly as well as you’d expect when the uninvited in-laws show up with demonic twins, lobster tails, and a speedboat named Suck My Wake. Expect water-ski disasters, raccoon home invasions, a bear with a very personal grudge, the legendary Old 96er, and more passive-aggressive Midwestern hospitality than any human should endure. Plus the usual BMR awards, fantasy football consequences, and far too many stories about actual family road trips that make this movie look like a relaxing spa weekend. Grab a six-pack of hot dogs and settle in. The critics hated it. The box office hated it. We’re about to find out if the rest of us are just built different. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mailbag time, BMRmy. Full table for the first half, then the shift change. Packages get opened first: a handwritten letter and bottle opener from Joe, Highlander minis (Kurgan and Connor) all the way from England courtesy of Richard, and a massive restock of British sweets, mint balls, tea cakes, and more from Vicky in Leeds — plus a onesie and a very British sealed letter. James also has some big family news to share. Emails and voicemails cover Bruce Campbell’s My Name Is Bruce, a whole batch of comedy and action suggestions, gator stories, the ongoing “should we do more comedies?” debate, Sam Neill recommendations, a Payback-inspired song from 25 years ago, Chuck Norris nostalgia, restaurant specials, and the usual unhinged fan energy. Ohio somehow becomes a whole thing. Keep sending stuff — thisshowistrash@gmail.com or (262) 757-8567. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Something’s down in the sewers… and it’s not just the usual Chicago (or is it St. Louis?) nonsense. This week James is joined by Mel and first-timer Rachel for a full scene-by-scene rampage through the 1980 animal-attack cult favorite Alligator. A little girl’s pet gator gets flushed, some extremely shady growth-hormone experiments go sideways, and suddenly you’ve got a 40-foot reptile treating the city’s underground like an all-you-can-eat buffet of discarded lab dogs, reporters, SWAT teams, and wedding guests. Robert Forster is pure 1980 cool as the jinxed detective who keeps losing partners. Robin Riker shows up as the skeptical herpetologist (say that three times fast). Michael V. Gazzo’s eyebrows deserve their own credit. Henry Silva arrives ready to hunt. And the practical effects deliver exactly the kind of foam-brick, mannequin-leg, wedding-cake chaos we live for. Plus the usual BMR mayhem: awards, Arnold recasts, personal alligator near-death stories from Hilton Head, and more sewer-level stupidity than any one movie should contain. Patrons picked it. The Discord demanded it. We delivered. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crew is back with another chaotic dump of emails, voicemails, and physical mail. Bob’s chair gets roasted, an Over the Top arm-break memory resurfaces, Ohio tries to defend itself, and one listener drops a marriage crisis over Battlefield Earth. There’s medical horror involving cameras where cameras should never go, racing movie rankings, Watcher Texas Ranger deep cuts, Van Damme impressions that sound suspiciously like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, a Spaceballs observation, South African snack promises, Danny Trejo intimidation stories, Transformers One praise, a very “Not Stallone” poster, Walt Disney’s mysterious final note, Hardy Boys suggestions, Death Proof talk, and a glorious Garbage Pail Kids card haul. Plus the usual rants about comedies, Tubi, and the never-ending quest to keep the trash pure. Hit play and join the mayhem. Email: ThisShowIsTrash@Gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Live from Smokey Tony’s in North Carolina: Mel Gibson wants his 70 grand back. James, Charles, and Ryan drove through half the country, cracked open some Cheerwine, and settled in at a public restaurant to riff scene-by-scene through Payback (1999)—the Mel Gibson revenge thriller that somehow became the “family-friendly” choice on the July schedule. What could go wrong? They dig into the alleyway surgery that opens the movie, the “root for the bad guy” marketing (and the Australian poster problem), Val Resnick’s all-time slimeball performance, Lucy Liu’s unforgettable first-film energy, the Outfit vs. Syndicate naming committee, and every terrible decision that somehow still works. Production chaos, reshoots, Kris Kristofferson, James Coburn’s alligator suitcases, and the eternal question of whether anyone in this city will just take Porter seriously for once. Awards, recasts, live crowd energy, and pure BMR mayhem follow. It’s a little dicey, a lot of fun, and exactly the kind of night you only get when the crew takes the show on the road. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an extended sample from our full 2+ hour discussion on The Thing, and we can't wait to talk about this cult classic. Want the whole thing? Click the link below to become a Patreon supporter! https://www.patreon.com/badmoviesrule The crew finally sits down with John Carpenter’s icy masterpiece — and for one of us, it’s a first-time watch. What starts as a classic Antarctic isolation story quickly turns into a full-on deep dive: practical effects that still hit like a truck 40+ years later, the legendary Rob Bottin/Stan Winston dog sequence, Kurt Russell’s hat (and the whiskey), Wilford Brimley’s diabetes intensity, Keith David’s slow-burn paranoia, and every terrible decision that lets the Thing keep winning. We unpack the Norwegian opening (and why they suck at this), the blood test jump scare, the spider-head “you gotta be fucking kidding me” moment, and that endlessly debated ending. Is Childs the Thing? Is MacReady? Are they both just two frozen, exhausted humans who don’t trust each other? We go down the rabbit hole hard — theories, jacket continuity, kerosene whiskey, the works — while still finding time for awards, Seagal recasts, and the usual chaos. Come hang with the BMRmy for a long, paranoid, practical-effects-loving look at one of the all-time greats. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James, Ryan, and Clint dig into a massive pile of physical mail (including Christopher Lambert, Will Ferrell double features, Nicole Kidman, and a freshly covered Firewalker copy), then nearly die from 1.5-million-Scoville salsa and ghost pepper chips. Curt writes in to address the Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls debate that lit up the comments, sparking a full-table conversation about comedy, subjectivity, and why some movies hit differently. Rachel and Mel jump in for the second half as more packages, voicemails, and emails roll in — racing stories, kid movie trauma, Firewalker confusion, the sexiest nut debate, and a live-ish call that almost interrupts the show. It’s pure Mailbag chaos. Packages were opened. Opinions were had. Nobody sent a dick (this time). Email: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chuck Norris and Lou Gossett Jr. team up as treasure-hunting buddies in this 1986 Cannon Films adventure that was never supposed to get made. Writer Robert Gosnell submitted the script as a sample of his range—Chuck read it, loved it, and they started shooting before the studio even bought it. The result is a globe-trotting (or is it?) quest involving a golden dagger, a psychic map, a one-eyed antagonist, a shaman watching I Love Lucy, and enough geographic confusion to make you question every map you’ve ever seen. Jason Baccus finally got his long-teased pick, Jim Frier returns for another desert misadventure after Ishtar, and the crew tries (and often fails) to figure out what the hell is actually happening from scene to scene. Expect uneven tone, questionable continuity, memorable supporting turns, and the usual Bad Movies Rule! chaos as we dig into the caves, the bars, the trains, and whatever the fire-walking part was supposed to mean. Join James and the crew for the full breakdown. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mailbag Mayhem returns with James, Clint, and Ryan digging through the inbox and voicemail line. We’ve got an all-timer metal promo, the HR department dangling a pizza-party escape clause, three different Joshes in a row, a guy whose entire gun collection is movie guns, an unhinged Dave Thomas defense years in the making, bingo grannies as the ultimate Walker, Texas Ranger villains, and a full-blown Ohio vs. Wisconsin land-swap war. Plus the usual temperature reports in freedom units, some light character assassination, and zero physical packages (we’ll make up for it next time). Drop your own voicemail at (262) 757-8567 or email theshowistrash@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The day has finally come — we're diving deep into Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, the over-the-top sequel that brought back the world's most unhinged pet detective for jungle chaos, sacred bats, rhino disguises, and plenty of "alrighty then" energy. James is joined by Steph (fresh off baby #3), Curt, and Rachel for a wild scene-by-scene breakdown full of laughs, heated debates on Jim Carrey dialed to 11, nostalgia trips, physical comedy gold, and our signature awards (including a record-breaking result in the Trash Can Full of Dirt). Thanks to patron James Gamache for going Full Dudikoff and picking this movie! Expect monk meditations, tribal tests, monster truck chases, and way too much discussion about that rhino scene. Whether you're a die-hard fan who quotes this daily or coming in fresh, this one's a riot. Listen now and join the BMRmy — what's your favorite Ace Ventura moment? Drop it in the comments, Discord, or hit us with a voicemail at (262) 757-8567! Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a special bonus today we are dropping a surprise episode of GMR for everyone to enjoy! Join James and the full original cast from the Haylofters 2018 production of Noises Off for a very special "Good Movies Rule!" reunion episode! Rob King, Julie Schmitt, Jesse, Sherry, and Tara dive deep into the 1992 film starring Michael Caine, Carol Burnett, Christopher Reeve, and John Ritter — while swapping hilarious stories from staging the chaotic backstage farce eight years ago. From sardines and slamming doors to pantomime mayhem in Act 2, prop table destruction, underwear quick-changes, and that unforgettable "Oh my God!" moment, this is a love letter to community theater, the magic (and stress) of live performance, and why this play-within-a-play still cracks us up. Expect plenty of nostalgia, favorite bits, theater war stories, and our signature awards. If you've ever been in a show that felt like it was falling apart in the best way possible, this one's for you. Grab the popcorn (and maybe some sardines) and join the BMRmy! Listen now — and if a local theater near you is doing Noises Off, go see it live. You won't regret it. Support the show: https://patreon.com/badmoviesrule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Mailbag time on Bad Movies Rule! — the crew dives into your emails, voicemails, and physical packages while sharing wild stories, defending (or roasting) movies, and keeping the laughs rolling. James, Clint, Ryan, and guests open a mysterious Blu-ray gift (Tod Browning's Sideshow Shockers), debate Rufus Sewell’s Trash Can worthiness in A Knight’s Tale, tackle the endless 2 Fast 2 Furious wars, and get guitar talk from Lance Guest fans. Plus: a dream about Dan Aykroyd as a cyborg, Jennifer Garner apology hour, South African snack requests and Arnold line remixes, Highlander & wrestling deep cuts, mayor-mandated HR drama, Twilight scheduling updates, and heartfelt listener stories from across the map (including mission trips, chemo positivity, and podcast inspiration). Send your mail to thisistrashatgmail.com or (262) 757-8567, and don’t forget the P.O. Box — physical packages always get opened first. New episodes drop weekly! Send to Bad Movies Rule PO Box 383 Burlington, WI 53105 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nico Toscani is a Chicago cop with a mysterious CIA past, a ponytail in progress, and a serious allergy to anyone thinking they're above the law — especially when that includes corrupt feds, mobsters, and a certain knife-wielding villain with a face that looks borrowed. Steven Seagal's debut vehicle mixes gritty cop drama, over-the-top action, and enough plot twists to make you wonder if the script was written by committee… or butter injections. In this week's episode, James, Dave, Bob, and Mel dive scene-by-scene into Seagal's first big swing. They break down the wild Vietnam backstory, the legendary car hood ride, the church bombing, bodega brawls, and that unforgettable "keep the change, you filthy animal" cameo. Expect plenty of laughs at the hair, the flips, the running form, the shoe throw, and whether this is peak early Seagal or the beginning of the end. They also hand out the awards (including a rare tie for the Will Patton), debate if this is a "bad movie that rules" or just straight-up bad, and wonder what Arnold or Kurt Russell could've done with the same material. Plus: Pam Grier in the car, Sharon Stone with random babies, and why this movie feels like three different films fighting for dominance. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: ThisShowIsTrash@gmail.com Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The crew opens up a ton of awesome physical fan mail — including new DVDs for the BMR Reacts pile (Dream a Little Dream, Plan 9 from Outer Space, It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, and more), plus another wild care package from James Clemens complete with extreme heat, Pepto Bismol, and pickle potion. We dive into your emails and voicemails featuring: - Celebrity encounter stories (Jeremy Renner pre-Hurt Locker, baby Catherine Bach/Daisy Duke, Billy Zane signed Demon Knight VHS) - Fan updates, food rants (Bojangles & Cook Out supremacy), and life stories - Highlander universe deep dive, arm wrestling theories, horror movie advice, and plenty of laughs Plus musical chairs, the return of the Chicken Lady (sorry Kurt), and more ridiculous tangents. Thank you to every single person who wrote in, called, or sent packages — you make these episodes possible! Reach out: 📧 thisshowistrash@gmail.com ☎️ (262) 757-8567 📬 Bad Movies Rule! PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 New to the show? Hit subscribe and check out our full reaction playlist on the BMR Reacts channel! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices