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Love Better is a safe and loving space where we talk about the real, raw parts of relationships. I’m Shazmeen, and in this podcast, I’ll be sharing my own story and the lessons I’ve learned about attachment styles, relationship healing, and self love. We’ll talk about how attachment styles shape the way we connect, the struggles of addiction your fearful or dismissive avoidant partner may have to pornography or other levels they numb feeling away, what happens when intimacy fades in sexless relationships, and how losing touch with our inner child can impact how we love. You will walk away with lessons and tools to improve your current relationships, walk away from ones that no longer serve you and learn how to build new relationships from a place of secure foundations. We will break down anxious attachment, secure attachment, fearful avoidant attachment and dismissive attachment and the deep role our attachment styles play in the way we intimately relate to others and ourselves. The key will be to grow to be more securely attached. But most importantly, I’ll be here offering support, kindness, and compassion as we explore how to heal these wounds. My hope is that through these conversations, you’ll feel seen, heard, and empowered to rebuild the love and connection you deserve—starting with yourself. I wanted to create a podcast that felt like you are talking and listening to a friend. One that cares deeply for your ability to love better. We will dive deep into how our attachment styles hold a foundation for a lot of the decisions we make. You will gain an insight into your "why's" and learn from a place of no judgement. You will learn how to communicate better, resolve challenges and handle conflict from a new perspective. I hope you enjoy listening to this podcast whilst on a walk, jog, in the tub or taking yourself on a date. Lets get vulnerable together and as we heal remember we can love better. NO more blaming, critiquing and shaming yourself and your partner. Life better is a segment that drops every Thursday and will teach you self mastery, mastering emotions and how to take responsibility of your life. I will give you tools you can use weekly to grow into the version of "self" you are born to be.
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Send us Fan Mail I could not find the advice i needed about having gone through heart break before I left. Before you left or they left! Not the normal heart break advice, after they leave you suddenly or you leave suddenly. Most people think heartbreak hits the moment the relationship ends. But the truth is, some heartbreak begins long before the goodbye ever happens in the quiet places where you were breaking inside while still trying to hold everything together. This episode is for the ones who didn’t fall apart the day it ended… because they had already broken a hundred times before that. It’s for the people who: • cried in the relationship long before they cried after it • felt themselves slowly disappearing while trying to “make it work” • grieved a partner who was still physically there • lived in a state of quiet hope followed by quiet heartbreak • lost dreams, time, and versions of themselves trying to keep love alive • feel numb now, not because they didn’t care, but because they carried the pain for years We dive into the heartbreak no one talks about the heartbreak of internal collapse , of losing yourself, of grieving a future you never got to live, and the slow emotional erosion that happens when love becomes a place of pain instead of safety. In this episode, you’ll learn: why this heartbreak feels so different why your nervous system is exhausted, not dramatic why numbness is a trauma response, not a lack of love why letting go feels like losing a life you already left internally how heartbreak becomes an awakening, not a failure how to rebuild the parts of yourself you abandoned to stay If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I not grieving like everyone else?” or “Why does this heartbreak feel so deep even though I was the one who left?” This conversation will finally put words to what your heart already knows. 🎧 Love Better Podcast (Spotify) https://open.spotify.com/show/4TJF1rMoWmLBdQZveeSCnf 🎧 Love Better Podcast (Apple Podcasts) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-better/id1740561464 🎧 Love Better Podcast (Buzzsprout) https://www.buzzsprout.com/2335305 ▶️ Love Better on YouTube (Your Channel) https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank 📸 Instagram — @shazmeenbank https://instagram.com/shazmeenbank 🎵 TikTok — @shazmeen_bank https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeen_bank ▶️ YouTube — Shazmeen Bank https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank THE PERSPECTIVE PODCAST: ▶️ YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@theperspectivepodcastgs 🎧 Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/2Gre5RJxyF7fWcE3sQ8ZIT 📸 Instagram https://instagram.com/theperspectivepodcast.gs Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever stayed in a relationship that was breaking you - or left one and wondered why the pain feels heavier than the love - this episode will speak to you. Trauma bonds make you confuse intensity for love, chaos for connection, and survival for loyalty. You know they hurt you… but you also know they’re the same person who “rescued” you from the hurt they caused. That cycle is powerful, addictive, and deeply confusing - especially when your nervous system has been trained to expect the highs and lows.In this episode, we explore the truth behind: • Why you stay in unhealthy relationships even when you know you deserve better • How childhood wounds, anxious attachment, and people-pleasing shape your choices in love • The difference between real repair and trauma-bonded “makeups” • Why leaving can make you feel numb, exhausted, or strangely peaceful • The grief of realising you loved them more than they ever loved you back • What happens when you finally start choosing yourself after years of self-abandonmentI also share a moment from my own life - running a 21km race during the hardest part of my separation - and how that run became the metaphor for rebuilding my self-worth, step by step, breath by breath. Not because my story is the point… but because sometimes someone else’s moment reminds you of your own strength.If you’re walking through a breakup, separation, divorce, or healing from an emotionally turbulent relationship, I want you to know: You are not crazy. You are not weak. And you are not alone. Healing after leaving a trauma bond requires compassion, self-respect, nervous system safety, and the courage to meet the version of you that only emerges when you finally choose yourself. You deserve a relationship that feels calm, safe, and consistent — not one that makes you question your worth. Connect with me: Instagram: @shazmeenbank TikTok: @shazmeen_bank Love Better Podcast on YouTube The Perspective Podcast (with my son): ThePerspectivePodcastGS on YouTube & Spotify Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail I know what it feels like to have your partner want to take an interest in your world. How lonley and sad it can feel when you love and feel so empty inside. Anxious partners are givers and you also really need an avoidant partner to step up and do their part. xx Love Shazmeen. In this episode, Shazmeen Bank explores the dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the needs of an anxiously attached partner and how avoidant partners can better support them. The conversation covers topics such as emotional safety, communication, reassurance, physical affection, and the significance of fostering independence and growth within the relationship. Shazmeen highlights the necessity of co-regulation and the role of both partners in creating a secure and fulfilling relationship. Take Aways From This Episode: Anxiously attached partners often feel neglected and unseen. Avoidant partners can learn to better support their anxious partners. Setting boundaries is crucial for anxious individuals. Emotional safety is essential for a healthy relationship. Consistent communication helps alleviate anxiety in relationships. Physical affection is vital for anxiously attached partners. Reassurance is a key need for those with anxious attachment. Independence and personal growth should be encouraged in relationships. Understanding abandonment fears can improve relationship dynamics. Co-regulation is necessary for a secure and loving partnership. Thank you for spending this time with me. If this episode touched something in you, I hope you know that you’re not alone. Healing isn’t linear, and love real love starts with how you show up for yourself. If something I said resonated, moved you, or made you feel seen, it would mean so much if you took a moment to leave a review or share this episode with someone who needs it. That’s how this message reaches hearts who are quietly hurting and still holding on to hope. You can connect with me more deeply over on Instagram @shazmeenbank or TikTok @shazmeen_bank, or explore 1:1 or couples coaching with me at www.shazmeenbank.com. And if you ever want to share your story or ask me a question, my inbox is always open at Shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com. You are worthy of safe love. You are worthy of peace. And you’re already on your way there. With love, Shazmeen Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Shazmeen Bank explores the complexities of anxious and avoidant attachment styles in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of understanding these dynamics to foster compassion and connection between partners. The conversation covers how to navigate the anxious-avoidant trap, the significance of communication, and the need for both partners to work towards a secure attachment. Shazmeen provides practical tips for building autonomy, creating safe spaces for vulnerability, and recognizing patterns that lead to conflict. Ultimately, the episode encourages listeners to embrace their unique attachment styles while striving for a healthy, loving relationship. Takeaways: Both partners can make the relationship work despite differing attachment styles. Healing attachment styles is a continuous journey, not a quick fix. Attachment styles are not fixed; they can evolve over time. One partner can inspire the other to change positively. Both partners must commit to the relationship for it to thrive. Vulnerability is essential in a relationship, especially for anxious individuals. Anxious individuals often seek constant reassurance and connection. Avoidant individuals may need space to recharge and feel safe. Creating safe words can help communicate needs without conflict. Understanding each other's core wounds can foster deeper connection. I personally am rooting for you both. I know it can feel hard I know you may want to walk away. but if you both are willing and ready to get your hands dirty and do the work you both will not on win but build a really safe, deep, passionate love. If this episode helped you understand the anxious-avoidant trap better, or if you’re stuck in this cycle yourself, I hope you know you’re not alone, and it is possible to heal. If you loved this episode, please take a second to rate and review the podcast it really helps me reach more people who need this message. For more content on attachment styles, relationship healing, and emotional growth, make sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok : 🔗 Instagram: @shazmeenbank 🔗 TikTok: @shazmeen_bank You can also visit my website to learn about coaching and other resources at: 🌍 www.shazmeenbank.com And if you’d like to reach out directly, I always love hearing from you email me at: 📧 shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com Thank you for listening to Love Better . I’ll see you in the next episode. Love you! Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this Q&A episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complexities of infidelity, betrayal, and the emotional turmoil that follows. She addresses listener questions about the pain of being cheated on, the impact of infidelity on children, and the importance of self-worth and accountability in relationships. Through personal stories and insights, she emphasizes the need for open communication, healing, and the courage to move on from unhealthy relationships. Shazmeen encourages listeners to prioritize their emotional health and to seek relationships that foster growth and mutual respect. Takeaways Infidelity reveals deep wounds and unhealed parts of ourselves. Communication is key in addressing infidelity and rebuilding trust. Children are deeply affected by their parents' relationship dynamics. Healing from betrayal requires self-reflection and personal growth. It's important to set standards for honesty and accountability in relationships. Repetitive cheating indicates a need for serious self-evaluation. Self-worth is crucial in navigating relationships after betrayal. Understanding attachment styles can help in relationship dynamics. Moving on from long-term relationships can be challenging but necessary. Bravery is required to lead relationships towards healing and growth. Thank you for listening to this Q&A episode on betrayal, infidelity, and the road to healing. it means so much to me to have you trust me read your questions and answer them. Your questions allow so many scared to ask, listen and feel seen and not alone in their problem. This podcast is to grow a community of people that feel safe to share and grow. If this episode spoke to you, or if you’re sitting in the middle of heartbreak right now, please know this: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry this pain by yourself. If you want to keep learning, healing, and growing with me, make sure to follow me on social media. I share daily insights, videos, and tools to help you love better and live better. Follow me here: 💕 Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/shazmeenbank 💕 TikTok : https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeen_bank 💕 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@shazmeenbank And if you loved this episode, please leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, and subscribe so you never miss a moment of real talk and healing. I’ll see you in the next episode. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complex emotions and challenges faced by couples dealing with betrayal and infidelity. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the pain of both the betrayed and the betrayer, and outlines the steps necessary for healing, including atonement, attunement, and rebuilding trust. Shazmeen encourages open communication, emotional support, and the need for both partners to take responsibility for their healing journey. The episode serves as a guide for those navigating the tumultuous aftermath of infidelity, offering hope and practical advice for rebuilding relationships. Takeaways: Dealing with infidelity is complex and not black and white. There is no shame in trying to make a relationship work after betrayal. Atonement involves genuine remorse and understanding the pain caused. Attunement requires actively engaging with your partner's emotional needs. Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort from both partners. Coping mechanisms like journaling and physical movement can aid healing. Support systems are crucial for both the betrayed and the betrayer. It's important to create a safe space for open communication. Healing is a journey that may involve ups and downs. Both partners must be willing to work towards a new relationship dynamic. "If this episode helped you, or if you're navigating the aftermath of betrayal right now, know that you're not alone. Healing is possible but it takes honesty, patience, and showing up the right way. If you’d like more tools for rebuilding trust, understanding attachment, or working through relationship repair, make sure you’re following me on all platforms. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shazmeenbank TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeenbank Watch the full video podcast on YouTube: YouTube.com/@shazmeenbank For coaching or collaboration inquiries: 📧 Email: shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com And if you’re listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, leaving a review really helps this message reach more people who need it. "Betrayal breaks more than trust, it shakes the entire foundation of a relationship. But if you're the one who hurt your partner, there are ways to begin repairing the damage. This episode is for you." 🎧 Listen now on Love Better (Spotify, Apple, or YouTube) #LoveBetterPodcast #InfidelityRecovery #RebuildingTrust #RelationshipHealing #CheatingRecovery #AttachmentStyles #SelfHealing #EmotionalRepair #RelationshipAdvice See you in the next episode of Love Better. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Love Better Podcast, Shazmeen Bank addresses the struggles of individuals in toxic and abusive relationships. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's worth, understanding the cycle of abuse, and finding the strength to leave unhealthy situations. Through personal anecdotes and insights, she encourages listeners to embrace their vulnerability and work towards healing and self-love. The episode serves as a heartfelt reminder that no one deserves to be in a relationship that diminishes their spirit and that there is hope for a brighter future. Takeaways: Many people struggle with leaving toxic relationships. Anxious attachment can lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics. It's important to recognize when a relationship is abusive. You are not responsible for the other person's behavior. Healing takes time and support from others. You deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse. Setting boundaries is crucial for self-preservation. You are worthy of love and respect. It's okay to seek help and share your story. Listen, you are not alone. you are great and I know your about to begin your greatest chapter. Love yourself! Love Better! 💬 Loved this episode? If you’re stuck in a relationship that feels like love but keeps breaking you, know this: you are not alone, and there is a way through. 🌐 Work with me or explore more at: 👉 www.shazmeenbank.com 📲 Follow on socials for daily content & connection: Instagram: @shazmeenbank TikTok: @shazmeen_bank 💌 Coaching inquiries, podcast questions, or brand partnerships: 📧 shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com 🎧 Listen & subscribe to the Love Better podcast on Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube — just search “Shazmeen Bank” Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complexities of fearful avoidant attachment, exploring its origins, traits, and the emotional struggles faced by individuals with this attachment style. The discussion highlights the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships, the oscillation between anxious and avoidant behaviors, and the importance of understanding and healing from these patterns. Shazmeen emphasizes the need for compassion towards oneself and others in navigating relationships, particularly for those who identify as fearful avoidant. The episode concludes with insights on fostering vulnerability and emotional intimacy in relationships, encouraging listeners to embrace their journey towards healing and connection. Takeaways: Fearful avoidant attachment is characterized by a push-pull dynamic in relationships. Individuals with fearful avoidant attachment often oscillate between love and fear. Childhood experiences significantly shape attachment styles in adulthood. The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) offers insights into attachment beyond infancy. Fearful avoidants may struggle with self-soothing and emotional regulation. Vulnerability is a major trigger for fearful avoidants in relationships. Fearful avoidants often have a deep desire for connection but fear abandonment. Understanding attachment styles can foster empathy in relationships. Healing from fearful avoidant attachment requires self-awareness and compassion. Relationships with fearful avoidants can thrive with patience and understanding. 🎧 Watch or listen now: 🔗 YouTube, Spotify & Apple - search Love Better by Shazmeen Bank 🌐 All links: www.shazmeenbank.com 📲 Follow me on Instagram: @shazmeenbank & TikTok: @shazmeen_bank 💌 DM me your story — I read every one - or email me at shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Love Better podcast, host Shazmeen Bank addresses various themes surrounding love, healing, and emotional well-being. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's pain, navigating betrayal, and understanding attachment styles. The conversation also delves into the complexities of infidelity, the journey of self-compassion, and the courage needed to leave toxic relationships. Throughout the episode, Shazmeen encourages listeners to validate their feelings and seek support within the community.Takeaways The importance of feeling seen and validated in pain. Pain is a part of life, but suffering is a choice. Emotional healing requires self-compassion and understanding. Betrayal can lead to complex emotional responses. Attachment styles play a significant role in relationships. Forgiveness is essential for personal growth. Setting boundaries is crucial in toxic relationships. Self-love is foundational for healthy relationships. Community support can aid in healing. Recognizing red flags is vital for emotional safety. If this episode spoke to your heart, don’t keep it to yourself. ✨ Share it with someone who needs to hear they’re not alone. 💌 Follow the podcast for more real talk on healing, relationships, and becoming who you were always meant to be. 🧠 Want to go deeper: www.shazmeenbank.com 📲 Connect with me on social media for daily insights and real talk: Instagram: @shazmeenbank TikTok: @shazmeen_bank Let’s heal, grow, and Life Better & Love Better —together. 💛 Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the Love Better podcast, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complexities of anxious attachment, exploring its roots in childhood experiences and its impact on adult relationships. She shares her personal journey of recognizing and healing her anxious attachment style, emphasizing the importance of self-love and understanding in building healthier relationships. The conversation highlights the emotional toll of anxious attachment, the cycle of self-sacrifice, and the challenges faced when navigating relationships with avoidant partners. Shazmeen encourages listeners to break free from people-pleasing behaviors and to seek stability and security in their relationships. In this episode, Shazmeen Bank delves into the complexities of anxious attachment in relationships, exploring how it manifests in behaviors, triggers, and emotional responses. She emphasizes the importance of self-love and understanding one's own attachment style to foster healthier connections. The conversation covers the impact of conflict, the patterns of jealousy, and the significance of building self-connection and safety from within. Takeaways: You are not alone in this journey. Understanding anxious attachment is crucial for healing. Childhood experiences shape our attachment styles. Self-sacrifice can lead to emotional exhaustion. Recognizing patterns in relationships is key. Anxious attachment often leads to people-pleasing behaviors. Stability is essential for securely attached individuals. Self-love is a foundation for healthy relationships. Breaking the cycle of abandonment is possible. Healing leads to more fulfilling connections. Anxiously attached individuals often feel a heightened sense of danger when their partner pulls away. Self-love is crucial for those with anxious attachment; it is the most important love. Anxiously attached people may overlook their partner's negative behaviors due to their empathy. Conflict can leave anxiously attached individuals feeling empty and confused without resolution. Recognizing triggers is essential for managing anxious attachment responses. Chemistry in relationships should not be confused with safety; true connection is stable and nurturing. Anxiously attached individuals often overgive in relationships, hoping to change their partner. Jealousy can stem from insecurities and the fear of abandonment in anxious attachment. Building self-connection helps in managing anxiety and emotional responses. Practicing self-regulation techniques can help restore a sense of safety and calm. Follow me here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shazmeenbank TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shazmeen_bank Website: https://shazmeenbank.com Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail In this soulful Q&A episode, I answer the questions you've been quietly holding inside, the ones that are hard to ask out loud and many times you feel shame for even having. Trust me, we have all been there. You are not alone. How do you walk away from a relationship and break up with kindness? What do you do when you're raising children inside a marriage that’s breaking you down? How do you survive life's darkest moments when it feels like the light has completely left? And how do you begin to live your full potential — when all you’ve known is survival? How does an avoidant person believe in hope? These are the questions I received, and in this episode, I answer them with love, honesty, and compassion. We talk about breakups, identity loss, emotional exhaustion, parenting in pain, dating yourself, and rebuilding from the ground up. Nothing is surface level here this is for the part of you that’s tired, searching, and ready to come home to yourself. If you're navigating heartbreak, stuck in a hard season, or feeling unsure of who you are anymore… this conversation is for you. I’m honored you trust me with your questions and if you need a sign to keep going, this might be it. ✨ Website: www.shazmeenbank.com Instagram: @shazmeenbank TikTok: @shazmeen_bank I would love to hear from you. Email:shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail There’s a reason dismissive avoidants shut down when things get too close. It’s not just cold behavior, it’s protection. In this episode, we go deep into the world of dismissive avoidant attachment: where it starts, how it shapes their personality, and why love feels like a threat to their nervous system. You'll learn how many avoidants grew up in emotionally neglectful environments, taught to be independent before they were ever ready. They didn’t learn to rely on others, they learned it wasn’t safe to need anyone. And that story? It doesn’t just disappear. It becomes the blueprint for how they handle relationships. Whether you’re anxiously attached, in love with someone who pulls away, or you recognize yourself in this dynamic, this episode will meet you where you are. You’ll leave with a deeper understanding of avoidants, not from judgment, but from compassion. This is for anyone who's ever felt confused by a dismissive partner who “needs space,” struggles to open up, or shuts down right when things get real. 🧠 Understand the Dismissive avoidant’s early wounds 💔 What their core wounds are 💔 Why connection triggers their flight response 🛑 And how you can stop personalizing their distance by understanding them 🛑 If you are the dismissive avoidant listening, how to begin to just heal and be present Please connect with me, I love to hear from you or answer some of your questions on my show: Email me: Shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com 🎧 Listen now and follow: 📲 Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/shazmeenbank 🎥 Daily videos on TikTok: tiktok.com/@shazmeenbank 🌐 Explore my courses & coaching: www.shazmeenbank.com Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail Self Confidence! I thought so hard about this episode and I did not want to just add to the millions of videos and podcasts already teaching the amazing ways to grow your self confidence. I researched this topic long and hard and then I decided to dump all 7 ways to grow your self confidence and take you through a hypnosis. I wanted you to get to know fear and anxiety within you, and get to know the part of you that is self confidence! This episode is all about teaching your body how to embody true self confidence by allowing fear, anxiety and self confidence to reside peacefully and trust each others purpose. This is not a motivational talk. It’s not a quick fix. It’s a deeply soothing, science informed practice that speaks directly to your subconscious helping you rewire limiting beliefs , release emotional tension , and reclaim the quiet strength that’s always been yours . If you’ve ever: Shrunk yourself in relationships Overthought every decision Or questioned your worth when things got hard Then this episode is for you. You’ll be guided gently through the places where fear hides and confidence feels out of reach and you’ll leave with a grounded sense of power that lives in your body, not just your thoughts. 🎧 Find a quiet place. Lie down. Let go. And allow this hypnosis to bring you home to yourself. I would love to hear from you. Tell me what topics on life you want me to tackle and find me on my social media: Instagram: @shazmeenbank Tiktok: @shazmeen_bank Website: www.shazmeenbank.com Please subscribe and you can now watch my episodes on Spotify and Youtube. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail I SEE YOU. If you’ve ever felt like you’re giving everything in a relationship and still feeling like it’s not enough… this episode is for you. Anxious attachment isn’t just about “needing too much.” It’s about core wounds that were formed long before your first heartbreak — and today, we’re going straight to the heart of it. In this episode, I unpack the emotional and psychological experience of anxious attachment in a way you may have never heard before . We’ll go deep into three rarely-discussed core wounds: 🌙 The fear that if you’re not chosen, you disappear. 🕯️ The belief that your worth depends on how others feel about you. 🫀 And the panic that closeness won’t last — so you have to hold on tighter, even when it hurts. I’ll also walk you through how these wounds shape who you become in relationships: the fixer, the self-silencer, the chameleon, and the one who overfunctions just to be seen. If you’ve ever spiraled after a text, lost yourself in someone else’s world, or felt like love is something you have to earn — I want you to know: I see you. And this episode is your mirror. You’ll leave with more than just awareness. I’ll guide you through a healing shift called secure self-attunement — a practice to begin coming back home to yourself, regulating your reactions, and choosing love from a place of worth instead of fear. This episode is tender, honest, and real — and it might just change the way you understand your heart. 💌 For more healing tools: 💬 Follow me on Instagram: @shazmeenbank 🎧 Follow me on TiTok:@shazmeen_bank You don’t have to chase love to be worthy of it. You are allowed to stay fully you — and still be deeply held! Its about time. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail There comes a moment—quiet, breaking, raw—when pain invites us to become someone new. This episode is for the part of you that’s tired of carrying silent wounds and is ready to do something meaningful with them. I’m not here to tell you to “get over it.” I’m here to walk with you through it. In today’s conversation, we explore how your heartbreak, your losses, your betrayals... might actually hold the blueprint to your transformation. We’ll talk about the hidden strength that suffering awakens, how pain can become your deepest teacher, and what it truly means to rise—not in spite of what broke you, but because of it. This is not about bypassing your feelings. It's about honoring them and letting them fuel your healing. If you’ve ever felt like your story is too messy to be turned into something beautiful—this one’s for you. ✨ Connect with me & I would love to read your letter on the next show: Email: shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com Instagram: @shazmeenbank TikTok: @shazmeen_bank Website: www.shazmeenbank.com Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail Stonewalling doesn’t look like abuse at first. There’s no yelling. No name-calling. Just silence. Withdrawal. Coldness. But that silence? That’s the thing that breaks you. In this episode, I’m talking about a dynamic that too many women—and men—go through and never name. One partner wants to talk, reconnect, fix it. The other shuts down. Looks away. Walks out. Days pass. The damage is done in silence, and nobody sees the bruises because they’re emotional. I share the emotional and psychological toll of stonewalling, how it mimics abandonment trauma, how avoidantly attached partners often use it without realizing, and why this becomes an invisible form of abuse . You’ll hear: What it’s like to be in a relationship where your pain is met with silence How stonewalling breaks trust and nervous system safety Why it feels like you’re going “crazy” even when no one’s shouting How this leads to resentment, burnout, and ultimately—divorce What to do if you’re being stonewalled or if you’re the one doing it Stonewalling is a nervous system trauma for many—especially those with anxious attachment. It mimics the pain of abandonment and creates a deep, confusing form of emotional neglect. You’re left questioning your worth, feeling like you’re “too much,” when in reality, someone else has simply chosen to disengage. If you’ve ever begged someone to speak to you, to explain, to just see you—and they shut down instead—this episode is for you. You were never too much. They just never learned how to stay. 🎧 Loved this episode? Share it with someone who's felt unseen or please comment or reach out to me. i love hearing from you. You can email me: shazmeen@shazmeenbank.com and send me a question, I will read it out and keep you anonymous if you like, and give you a super, heartfelt coaching response on my podcast. 📲 Follow me on Instagram: @shazmeenbank 🌐 Website: www.shazmeenbank.com 🎙️ TikTok: @shazmeen_bank We finally introduced video to Spotify and youtube. I am so excited to finally engage you in a new way! Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail I have been here myself, and I did not know I was here! I thought over giving and all the traits that came with being an anxiously attached lover was LOVE! I had no idea that not stepping into my strength and voice held me back from really finding myself and setting some really tough boundaries that my relationship needed. I was not being mean. I was choosing me too! I mattered as well. If you’ve ever found yourself over-functioning in a relationship — chasing, overthinking, softening your truth, or silencing your needs just to feel safe — this episode is for you. Because when you live with anxious attachment , especially in a relationship with someone avoidant, love can start to feel like emotional survival. You try to be easy. You try to not need too much. You try to be chosen. And somewhere in all of that — you lose yourself. But you are so fixated now on the relationship surviving you forget to pause and take a step back. But here’s the truth I want you to remember: Love is not meant to cost you your voice, your boundaries, or your identity. In this episode, I guide you through the emotional terrain of what it really looks like to be anxiously attached in a long-term relationship or dynamic with an avoidant partner — and what it takes to begin reclaiming your space in that relationship without leaving yourself behind. You’ll learn: How anxious attachment shows up in dating, marriage, and long-term love Why avoidant partners can trigger your deepest fears — and what to do about it The invisible ways you begin to shrink and abandon your needs How to set boundaries without guilt and stop trying to manage their discomfort The power of micro-boundaries to shift the dynamic Why self-worth isn’t a mindset — it’s a daily practice of not abandoning yourself How to stop calling emotional over-functioning “love” And how to rediscover yourself — not in opposition to the relationship, but inside it This episode is not about fixing your partner. It’s about coming back home to yourself . Because your sensitivity, your feelings, your needs — they were never too much. 📲 Follow and connect with me: 🔗 Website: www.shazmeenbank.com 📸 Instagram: @shazmeenbank 🎥 TikTok: @shazmeen_bank 🎧 If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who’s tired of shrinking to be loved — and ready to choose themselves instead. Please also leave comments so we can connect and i can get to know you on a more personal bases. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail Lets dive in. You don’t keep choosing the wrong person because you're naive or broken. You do it because something in you is still trying to finish a story. To prove you’re lovable. To make chaos feel like home. To rewrite the ending. GET COMFORTABLE WITH REJECTION! I would rather you get rejected, then settle and play small, and lose yourself! In this episode, I go beneath the surface of dating and into the deeper truth: Who we’re drawn to is rarely random — it’s often wired in us. That's why you can end up always feeling like your dating the "same" guy or girl", and repeating patterns all over again. Listen, when you get clear about what you want and align that to the fact that you are so deserving of a safe, beautiful, committed relationship, watch who you attract! I swear, you will look for me and say "Shazmeen, I did my own healing and inner work, I saw my pattern's, I took responsibility for what I was tolerating and now, I set boundaries and I met someone that would have never been my first choice and here I am, no longer feeling like I am settling but finally feeling safe". I can not wait for those stories!! In this episode I cover: The need to be authentic and brave What anxious and avoidant attachment really looks like in dating The cost of settling and not having boundaries The nervous system signals that tell you this is familiar (but not safe) Prominent red flags you keep turning into excuses Green flags that seen so simple & boring but are the foundation in a person The difference between love and emotional intensity And how to gently — but finally — start choosing people who don’t need fixing and stop settling and making excuses for bad behaviour. If you’ve ever asked, “Why do I always end up dating someone that leaves me chasing or breaks up with me, and why do i take them back?', this episode is for you!! You're not asking for too much. Your simply just not asking! ✨ Instagram: @shazmeenbank ✨ TikTok: @shazmeen_bank Website: www.shazmeenbank.com (Also building a new website and adding some free healing mediations and a blog for you all). So excited! 💌 Please help me by sharing this with someone that can use my podcast. Please subscribe and please connect with me and tell me where I can improve to make this podcast better for you. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail Is this relationship still right for me — or am I holding on out of fear, hope, or habit? In this episode, I walk you through one of the hardest questions we face in love: Should I stay… or leave? It’s never a simple decision — especially when you’re still in love, especially when you’re part of a culture or family where leaving is judged, forbidden, or not financially possible. Leaving is not something I or anyone will ever have to tell you to do. Because you know when its time. Getting to the point of walking away from someone you love that can not meet your needs, that needs patience and some gentle hand holding and no shame! You’ll learn how to explore this question with compassion, clarity, and a grounded approach rooted in emotional truth — not guilt, pressure, or fantasy. We’ll talk about: ✅ When you should stay — and what a healthy, evolving relationship actually feels like 🚨 How to know it’s time to leave — the emotional, physical, and nervous system signs that you’ve outgrown or been harmed in this relationship 💡 Tony Robbins' 6 human needs — and how your relationship may (or may not) be meeting your deepest emotional drivers (certainty, variety, significance, love, growth, and contribution) 🧠 What to do if you have to stay — because of culture, kids, religion, or money — and how to emotionally survive while creating inner change ⚠️ What makes a relationship not right for you — not just toxic, but misaligned with who you’re becoming ❤️🩹 And why it’s normal to feel guilt, grief, and longing — even when you know it’s time to let go This is not an episode that tells you what to do. It’s one that helps you come home to what you already know — but might be too scared to say out loud. You’re not broken for struggling with this. You’re human. You are never broken, your simply stepping into being unbreakable. And you deserve a love that feels safe, alive, and mutual. ✨ Connect with me on Instagram: @shazmeenbank ✨ Connect with me on Tiktok: @shazmeen_bank My website: www.shazmeenbank.com 💌 Share this episode with someone quietly holding this question in their heart. Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
Send us Fan Mail You’re still hurting. And you’re still healing. Those two things can exist together. In this episode, I walk with you through the kind of healing that doesn’t happen overnight — the kind that asks you to slow down, feel what’s real, and show up for yourself with compassion. You can feel so much shame when healing, like you should never have been in this position, or shame for hurting someone. We all deserve to heal and it does not look like one perfect smooth road. But the bumps now are a blessing when you have the tools to deal with them. I got raw about my process to show you how human it can be and standing on the other side of all the heavy lifting, my nervous system lives more in safety now than it ever has. That can be a proud moment after all the work you put in. I talk about what it means to sit with your emotions instead of running from them, how to label and feel your feelings without shame , and how to stop villainizing the people who’ve hurt you — so you can finally reclaim your peace. (This takes work and only happens after you do honour your pain). You’ll learn how your nervous system holds emotional pain , why regulation is the first step toward healing, and how to build emotional safety from the inside out. I also share gentle, practical tips to support you when the pain still feels raw — and remind you that it’s okay to make mistakes, take time, and heal imperfectly. 🎧 Inside this episode: How to feel emotions without drowning in them Why labeling feelings helps calm your system The difference between protecting yourself and punishing others Nervous system basics: sympathetic vs. parasympathetic explained simply Self-compassion tools for when you're spiraling in guilt or shame Why healing isn’t about doing it perfectly — just doing it with love ✨ If you're human and hurting — this one's for you. ✨ Find me on Instagram: @shazmeenbank ✨ Find me on TIKTOK: @shazmeen_bank For more content my website: www.shazmeebank.com Please subscribe and help me reach more people that need guidance in their relationships.
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