The Shift is a podcast that aims to tell the truth about being a woman post-40, created and hosted by writer and broadcaster, Sam Baker. Did you ever wonder why you stop hearing so many women's voices once they pass 40? That's where The Shift comes in - a frank, funny, sometimes heartbreaking, always honest look at what it means to be a woman in midlife and beyond. Work, life, love, health, sex, money, identity, body image... What does it all mean when everything around you (and inside you...) is changing? Each week, award-winning author and journalist Sam Baker asks a different woman how she got here, where she's going - and how it feels to be where she is right now. Expect intimate conversation, big laughs, occasional tears and an awful lot of ripping up the rule book and stamping on it... Past guests have included Elizabeth Gilbert, Martha Beck, Siri Hustvedt, Jojo Moyes, Nicola Sturgeon, Marian Keyes, Guilty Feminist Deborah Frances-White, Minnie Driver, Philippa Perry, Anita Rani, Tracey Thorn, Isabel Allende, Bobbi Brown, Barbara Kingsolver, Zandra Rhodes, Liz Earle and many more, talking everything from confidence to career reinvention, mental health, menopause and so much more. If you enjoy The Shift podcast, and you'd like to show the love, you can buy me a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/theshiftwithsambaker And if you really love The Shift and would like to hear more conversations with women over 40, why not become a member of our community and receive a weekly newsletter, get exclusive transcripts, join The Shift bookclub and so much more, please visit https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/ For advertising enquiries, email sales@auddy.co
Where do you turn when the identity you’ve clung to for decades slips away? That’s the position today’s guest, Jane Green, found herself in at 55. Her solution? She packed a case and ran away! Anyone who was a fan of women’s commercial fiction (aka chicklit, ugh) in the 90s and noughties will know Jane’s name. Along with Marian Keyes and Helen Fielding, she ruled the roost. She wrote 21 novels - the first of which, Jemima J, was right up there with Bridget Jones in the states. And for a while, they were piled high in bookshops all over the world. Until they weren’t... But now her subject is herself and I guarantee her story will make you want to chuck it all in and move to Morocco! Rewilding is her first memoir and recounts the breakup of her 24 year marriage and what came next. At 55, realising she had vanished inside the trappings of her Instagram-worthy life, Jane left the marital home on the East Coast of America with only a suitcase and went to Marrakech. Once she got over the shock and terror of being alone after bringing up four children, she set about the job of rewilding herself, dropping the armour that had seen her through her adult life and stripping herself back to the original Jane. Several years on Jane is living proof that she wasn’t escaping her life, but reclaiming it. Jane joined me to talk about the long process of returning to herself from a life she no longer recognised. We also discussed the gift of menopause, the curse of perfection, Why no-one should ever give up financial independence, being a ‘walkaway wife’, learning to recognise red flags, facing the fear, And how to answer the question: how did I get stuck in a life I don’t recognise? 2 more things before we start: • Firstly, Apologies if the sound is iffy in places. (I mean, it IS iffy!) Jane was sitting outside because of the heat so we were dealing with a lot of erm…external noises! • Secondly, and if, by the end of this, your heart is beating faster, Jane is hosting a 5 day rewilding retreat in Marrakech in October. Find out more at www.kitabamarrakech.com * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Rewilding by Jane Green as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Hello and welcome to SEASON 22(!) of The Shift with Sam Baker podcast. That's 300 fascinating conversations with women in midlife and beyond, if you're new here and fancy diving in. (To think that when I started it back in 2020, I thought I'd only do six!) My guest today is Sarah Hiscox. Now a counsellor for NA and AA, amongst other things, the first three and a half decades of Sarah’s life were marked by turbulence and addiction. Sarah was just eight years old when she first experienced the oblivion drugs can bring - in that case through sleeping pills (mogadon, if you can believe it) - and a young mother by the time she became addicted to heroin. In her memoir, The Beginning And End Of Everything, Sarah looks candidly at the childhood experiences that shaped her and how ‘the hole inside my being’ led her to lose her marriage and custody of her children. Somehow, after repeated relapses, thanks to her sister, Belinda, then ex-husband Renshaw, and best friend of thirty-odd years, Davina McCall, she got it all back. Sarah has now been clean for 24 years. So, if you’re looking for hope when it feels like all hope has gone, you’ll find it here. Sarah joined me to talk about self esteem and the life long impact of never feeling enough, the shame surrounding disordered eating and the difficulty of caring for a parent who never cared for you. We also discussed sisterhood and the power of female friendship, how she finally got off the misery go round, overcoming her personal committee of critics and finding purpose at 50. CW: anorexia bulimia addiction suicidal ideation * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including The Beginning and End of Everything by Sarah Hiscox as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ever since I wrote about Stacey Duguid's campaign to shine a light on women's midlife career crisis loads of you have messaged me to say, 'Get her on the podcast!' Well, I have news for you - Stacey has been on the podcast! She first shared her midlife experience with me in September 2023, but now she's made it her mission to life the lid on the secret midlife career shame so many of us are suffering it felt like the right time to revisit our conversation. This is not about the unfolding career crisis but I think there's so much here that will resonate with you. Here it is... Before I got to know today’s guest, Stacey Duguid, I thought she was a bit scary TBH. Fierce in all the ways. And then I got to know her - when I was editor of Red and she worked on Elle - and discovered she wasn’t. At all. Because Stacey, like so many of us, is just exceptionally good at putting on a front. And that front served her well, until it didn’t. She was 45 when everything collapsed. Or, more accurately, she put a grenade under it. The thing she’d been trained to want ever since she was tiny: the house, the husband, the children, the career, the happy ever after. All blown to smithereens. Now 49, a single mum and a successful journalist, very much back from the brink, Stacey has written In Pursuit of Happiness, the most brilliant book about a midlife collapse and ultimately recovery. I know you are going to love it. As candid in person as she is in print, Stacey talks frankly about the pain of divorce, searching for a self you’ve never met, self-blame, “hotness syndrome”, perimenopause mayhem (and I mean MAYHEM), making peace with her mother, rediscovering her creativity, midlife sexuality and… toyboywarehouse.com. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including In Pursuit of Happiness by Stacey Duguid, and the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift (on life after 40) with Sam Baker is created and hosted by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls @ Pineapple Audio Production. If you enjoyed this podcast, please rate/review/follow as it really does help other people find us. And let me know what you think on instagram @theothersambaker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode first aired in the summer of 2022. I'm replaying it now because Altered Images are going back on the road this autumn, touring their iconic album, Happy Birthday, 45 years (45!!!) after its release.... I can’t remember the first time I met my friend Clare Grogan. But like many Gen-Xers, I remember the first time I saw her in the cult movie Gregory’s Girl, and then, later the same year, on Top of the Pops with Altered Images, performing the band’s top 10 hits Happy Birthday and I Could Be Happy. (I have a bit of a soft spot for that last one.) Still in her teens, she was living a life the rest of us could only dream of. Until, at 25, with three top ten albums under her belt, she left it all behind so she could, as she puts it, “feel where I came from again”. Since then she has had countless presenting and acting roles in everything from Eastenders to Skins. And now, 38 years after her last outing, she’s back with a new Altered Images album Mascara Streakz. Clare zoomed in to talk about deciding where you want to go in life, doing every show like it might be your last and being back on the road at 60. We discussed the unexpected impact of her daughter hitting the age she was when Altered Images hit the big time, her “difficult 40s” and why it’s never too late to start a band. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at Bookshop.org, including the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me! * And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including transcripts of the podcast, please join The Shift community. Find out more at https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/ • The Shift (on life after 40) with Sam Baker is created and hosted by Sam Baker and edited by Emily Sandford. If you enjoyed this podcast, please rate/review/follow as it really does help other people find us. And let me know what you think on twitter @sambaker or instagram @theothersambaker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode first aired June 2022... This week’s guest will make you wonder what you do with your time! Sabrina Pace-Humphreys is an award-winning business woman, a social justice activist, an ultra-runner, a mother of four and grandmother of three. (And as if that wasn't enough, right now, as of June 19th 2022, she's running 268 miles along The Spine of the UK!) Not bad going for 44. But it is none of those things that led her to write her memoir, Black Sheep - a story of growing up Black, on the poverty line, in small town England. As a child, and the only Black person in that town, she experienced constant bullying, verbal and physical racist abuse. She didn’t know who she was, or where she belonged. Sabrina joined me to talk about why she’s decided it’s time to speak out about rural racism. The impact of growing up in a place where literally no-one looked like her and How she finally found the identity she craved. Sabrina is incredibly frank about burying herself in workaholism and alcoholism, her battles with anxiety, and how learning to run - after a lifetime of mocking runners! - saved her. If you’re looking for motivation to start running look no further. In fact, if you’re looking for motivation full stop, you’ve found it. You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at Bookshop.org, including BLACK SHEEP by Sabrina Pace-Humphreys, and the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me! And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including transcripts of the podcast, please join The Shift community. Find out more at https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/ • The Shift (on life after 40) with Sam Baker is created and hosted by Sam Baker and edited by Emily Sandford. If you enjoyed this podcast, please rate/review/follow as it really does help other people find us. And let me know what you think on twitter @sambaker or instagram @theothersambaker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode first aired in autumn 2022. I'm replaying it now because Dawn's new memoir, Hungry Eyes, borne of her love of food (and her Celebrity Masterchef almost triumph!) is out now... My guest today has packed a helluva lot into her 43 years. Dawn O’Porter started her career in TV production, before finding her way in front of the camera to host a series of attention-grabbing documentaries on everything from polygamy to Dirty Dancing. By the time she hit her 30s, like many women, Dawn was moving faster and faster to stand still. By the time she was married (to the actor Chris O’Dowd) with the first of her two sons, running a vintage fashion label and the refugee charity now known as Choose Love - AND writing books - she realised something had to give! In this case, that was Dawn herself. She is now a full-time author of eight books including the Richard and Judy pick So Lucky and her latest, Cat Lady - a funny and frank look at the boxes we squeeze ourselves into to try to fit other people’s expectations. Dawn joined me from her home in LA to discuss the cats-in-the-bedroom conundrum, what she learnt from launching and losing a business, why the need to be liked is exhausting and how ageing helped her recognise her own value. We also talked Botox, whether perimenopause makes you smell strange and why she’ll never stop advocating for kaftans! Hankering after a Cat Lady jumper like Dawn's? Visit Joanieclothing.com. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at Bookshop.org, including Hungry Eyes by Dawn O'Porter and the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me! * And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including transcripts of the podcast, please consider joining The Shift community. Find out more at https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/ • The Shift (on life after 40) with Sam Baker is created and hosted by Sam Baker and edited by Emily Sandford. If you enjoyed this podcast, please rate/review/follow as it really does help other people find us. And let me know what you think on twitter @sambaker or instagram @theothersambaker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode first aired last autumn, but I'm replaying it now because last week Lyse won The Women's Prize for Non-Fiction for her remarkable people's history of Afghanistan, The Finest Hotel in Kabul... My guest today is the BBC’s Chief International Correspondent, Lyse Doucet. Since starting work at the corporation almost forty years ago, Lyse has covered all the major wars in the Middle East, reporting from Afghanistan Iraq Iran Jordan Israel Pakistan Egypt Libya and most recently Gaza. And that’s before we get started on the rest of the world. Sudan. The tsunami in Indonesia. And you may well remember her reporting on the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022 from a rooftop in Kyiv. When we spoke Lyse had recently made it back to Canada via the Egypt/Gaza border, before heading to the UK to promote her first book, The Finest Hotel in Kabul, a quietly devastating, utterly humane look at a history of the people of Afghanistan, told through the staff of the Intercontinental in Kabul where Lyse has been staying since 1988. When she first checked in, the day after her 30th birthday, the man on reception asked her how long she’d be staying, she guessed six weeks… she’s been there on and off ever since. Lyse joined me for a fascinating free range conversation about her extraordinary life and career. We talked about finding her north star, why gender is irrelevant when it comes to reporting war, what nobody tells you about kindness, the moment she realised her job was going to come first in her life, the power and importance of female friendship in a war zone and why even sometimes reporters have to look away. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including The Finest Hotel in Kabul by Lyse Doucet as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My guest today is the woman who put Cleanse & Polish cleanser and muslin cloths in bathroom cabinets all over the country, Liz Earle. Back in the 1980s, Liz started her career as a beauty editor, before going on to found a skincare empire that started with the aforementioned Cleanse & Polish - and grew beyond her wildest expectations. In her own words, she then spent 15 years ‘travelling the world selling face cream’. Then a period of intense personal upheaval in her 40s led to a total rethink. She was one of the first women in the public eye to challenge the narrative on menopause (or in fact talk about it at all) and is now a trusted authority on wellbeing. Her last book, A Better second half topped the Sunday Times bestseller lists and now she’s followed that up with How To Age, an authoritative look at the science of ageing and how to do it better. And there is no better advert for the art of ageing well than Liz herself. Who is now 63 but has a biological age of - wait for it - 39. Liz joined me to discuss Surviving her 40s shitshow and How learning about Mitochondria changed her approach to her health, why sunlight gets a bad rap and why biohacking isn’t just for techbros. We also discussed HRT, the supplements you really do need and, hello research community! Women are not just small men! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including How To Age by Liz Earle as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My guest this week is a historian columnist television presenter and vocal advocate for better sex for women! I first encountered Dr Kate Lister when I stumbled across her brilliant instagram account @whoresofyore, along with half a million others. In a world where even back in the late 20-teens where we thought the work was, if not done, then at least going in the right direction - laughs hollowly - it was still radical for someone to stand up and say that women demanding better sex didn’t arrive with the 21st century. It has, as Kate has dedicated her life to proving, been a very long fight indeed. Kate is the host of the award winning history podcast Betwixt The Sheets, she writes a weekly column in i-news and has appeared on countless history programmes including House Through Time and Victorian Murder Club with Lucy Worsley. Kate’s brilliant new book Flick - a history of female pleasure - takes us from Mesopotamia to trad wives by way of orgasms, oral sex, masturbation, frigidity, sexual fluidity and much more. It is a 300 page battle cry against the idea that when it comes to sex women want to just ‘lie back and think of England’ Kate joined me to talk about sex as the great leveller, slut shaming, virginity and how sex has been used for millennia to control women. We also discussed her perimenopausal period hell, why midlife women could benefit from pleasure education, the price of doing all the emotional labour in the bedroom and why she wouldn’t recommend putting vaginal oestrogen cream on your face! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Flick by Dr Kate Lister as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My guest this week is Maria Semple the author of one of my favourite books of all time, Where’d you go bernadette,. Once encountered, Bernadette Fox is never forgotten. I wasn’t alone, Bernadette was translated into 40 languages, sold over 200k copies in the UK alone, was shortlisted for the Women’s Prize and was made into a movie starring Cate Blanchett. Maria, who was previously a TV writer for Saturday Night Live and Arrested Development, amongst others, has written two other novels, and is now back with a fourth, Go Gentle. Already an Oprah Bookclub pick, it’s A story of midlife transformation, mothers, daughters, art theft, stoicism and Upper West side covens! Yes, you heard that right. Like all her books, Go Gentle is stuffed full of home truths and big ideas, and it’s riotously snortingly funny. I met Maria on a flying visit to the UK at her publisher’s office overlooking the thames to talk about midlife’s dirty little secret, the freedom she found post-divorce, the joy of not having to ask permission and doing a geographical. We also discussed why midlife is a time of metabolisation (is that a word?) How stoicism kept her sane when her coping mechanisms packed up and why her favourite company is other women. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Go Gentle by Maria Semple as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today’s episode will take you ricocheting back to the 90s - in all the ways. Canadian singer, songwriter, photographer and producer Melissa Auf der Maur is best known as the bassist of Hole throughout the mid/late 90s, and consequently had a front row seat at the pillorying of Hole’s legendary front woman Courtney Love. As she puts it, ‘I watched society burn a woman at the stake’. For a few years, she was at the heart of two of the era’s biggest bands - moving from Hole to the Smashing Pumpkins - before releasing several solo albums. In 2007 she was named one of the 100 Greatest women in rock and roll, then she stepped away from the music scene when she had her daughter. It’s those years, the ‘fever dream of the 90s’ that Melissa revisits in her memoir, Even The Good Girls Will Cry - which takes us on a journey through the good, the bad and the ugly of what it meant to be a woman making music in the 90s. It will take you back, it will give you chills. It will make you cringe, it will make you rage. Melissa joined me from upstate new york to talk about her big midlife resurrection. what it cost to revisit those years of glamour and destruction, falling back in love with music in her 50s, discovering her redhead superpower, being an annoying mother, re-establishing joyful sisterhood with Courtney and reclaiming the innocence of the girl who started it all. As Melissa puts it, The Shift is real! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Even The Good Girls Will Cry by Melissa Auf der Maur as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My guest today is Dr Katriona O’Sullivan. Katriona grew up in Coventry and her early life was marked by poverty, addiction and abuse. She became pregnant and subsequently homeless at 15, let down and written off by the adults who were meant to care for her. In 1998 she moved to Dublin with her son and entered Trinity College through the access programme. There She earnt a Phd in psychology and is now a professor at Maynooth university, directs the National Centre for inclusive higher education and writes a regular column for the Irish Independent. Amongst other things. Katriona’s debut memoir, Poor, an intimate personal examination of the complexities of growing up in poverty, spent an incredible 114 weeks in the bestseller lists. Now she’s written Hungry, a fierce and moving examination of her own battle with body image and the way trauma, class and gender shape the way women see themselves. Katriona joined me to talk about spending a lifetime trying to shrink herself to fit and how the world benefits from women hating our bodies. We also discussed why over yogaing is a class issue, holding mothers to a different standard, ambition hunger, parenting boys, really bad sex, how hunger comes from the soul not the stomach and why no longer being an object of sexual interest is a bloody enormous relief. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Hungry by Katriona O'Sullivan as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by Sam Baker. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My guest today is the acclaimed writer Siri Hustvedt. The author of seven novels (including my personal favourite What I Loved and the Booker longlisted The Blazing World), five essay collections, a poetry collection and a memoir, The Shaking Woman, or a history of my nerves. Her work has been translated into more than thirty languages. She is also a lecturer in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical college. Siri’s work has always explored the liminal space between mind, memory and heart but perhaps none more so than her latest memoir, Ghost Stories, a devastating (but also joyous) reflection on the 43 years she spent with her husband, writer Paul Auster, before his death in 2024. The ghost in question is him but its pages are haunted by the ghost of them. Siri joined me from her home in Brooklyn to talk about long love, losing your everyday, the grief that floored her and the way an enduring relationship moulds those who dwell in it. We also discussed why happiness is not a goal, how society fears death, learning not to feel guilty about being outspoken, writing to keep Paul and Siri alive, how grief made her creaky and how she misses the olfactory hallucinations that accompanied her after Paul’s death. This is a sad one, but I promise you, there is plenty of love and joy. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Ghost Stories by Siri Hustvedt as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
There aren’t many people I let make a repeat visit to The Shift, but sometimes a guest proves so popular that I have to make an exception. That’s the case with journalist and author Bryony Gordon. The first time Bryony came on The Shift we talked mental health, alcoholism and the gratitude she felt in reaching 40 . A couple of years later it was all about perimenopause. Today, Bryony is back and we’re talking about what happens when you hit that pinch point in midlife where the people pleasing hormone heads for the door. First and foremost a newspaper columnist, Bryony spent 20 years at the telegraph and now writes a column for the Daily Mail. She is the author of four bestselling non-fiction books and has won awards for her mental health advocacy In Her debut novel, People Pleaser, we meet Olivia Greenwood, a woman in midlife who wakes up one morning and finds she’s lost the ability to bend over backwards to keep everyone else happy. It made me want to punch the air and eat a donut! Or four. Bryony and I met up to talk about people pleasing and spending the first forty years of our lives trying to be someone else and the next forty trying to be ourselves. We set the world to rights on man pleasing, fat shaming, mountjaro noise, fake eyelashes, wellness, work addiction, reinvention, perfectionism, learning to be willing to do things other people don’t like, mothering adolescents (her, not me) and star signs. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including People Pleaser by Bryony Gordon as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
My guest today is the pioneering publisher, Margaret Busby. It is safe to say that without Margaret’s lifelong work the publishing industry today- and indeed our bookshelves - might look very different. In 1965, at just 22, she became Britain’s youngest first black female publisher, when she formed Allison and busby with Clive Allison, who she met at a party at university. Margaret was editorial director there for 20 years - when the business was bought, the buyers retained Allison, but not Busby. Hmmm... Since then she has been a publisher, editor, writer, interviewer, scriptwriter, presenter and awards judge, including chairing the Booker Prize. She has also compiled two groundbreaking anthologies to champion the work of women of African descent, Daughters of Africa and New Daughters of Africa. “[She] helped change the landscape of both UK publishing and arts coverage and so many black British artists owe her a debt. I know I do,” wrote Zadie Smith Her career has been the very definition of paying it forward, or as she puts it passing it on. At her home in North London, Margaret took me back through the incredible life she documents in her autobiography Part Of The Story. She told me about a lifetime spent being the only Black woman in the room and constantly being mistaken for an old white man! The importance of picking your battles, the women who shaped her, Why she will never stop opening the door for other black women, the irrelevance of age, why marriage is the least interesting form of emotional connection and loads more. If you’d like to see the pictures discussed in this episode, you'll find them here - https://theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com/ * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Part of the Story by Margaret Busby as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode first aired in May 2022. Today’s guest is a woman I’ve admired for the longest time: stage and screenwriter Abi Morgan. Throughout her thirty year career Abi has written some of our most memorable drama: Shame, Sex Traffic, The Queen, Iron Lady, The Hour (for which she won an Emmy), Suffragette and, most recently, the BBCone hit, The Split. In her work, female characters took centre stage long before that became the fashionable thing to do. But now, Abi has been forced to take centre stage herself. Four years ago, she returned home one lunchtime to find her partner of 20 years, Jakob, collapsed on the bathroom floor. It was the start of a sequence of events that would upend their family forever. And it’s the subject of perhaps the most extraordinary memoir I have ever read - This is Not a Pity memoir. And it isn’t. It’s about love, trauma and ultimately - weirdly! - about hope. Abi joined me to talk candidly about the cataclysmic impact of Jake’s illness, the long - and ongoing - journey to rebuild their family and how, in the midst of all that, she coped with her own breast cancer diagnosis. She also told me about being a lone woman in a world of white men in leather jackets, budging up to make room at the table and why she’s done with being “user-friendly”. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including This Is Not a Pity Memoir by Abi Morgan as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and this episode was edited by Emily Sandford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode of The Shift first aired in June 2024. I first came across today’s guest, Dr Emily Nagoski, on this very podcast, when my then guest Sarah Knight (creator of the NoFucks Given franchise) raved about the transformational power of her runaway bestseller, Come As You Are. I hunted it down and, like millions of women the world over, I was blown away. A sex expert speaking our language? Taking the pressure off, rather than piling it on? Never! So when I heard that the Kinsey-educated sex educator had turned her attention to long term relationships in her new book, Come Together, I was obsessed. Not least because it turns out that sex experts are human too and Emily had experienced her own fallow period. But instead of wallowing in it or panicking or buying uncomfortable knickers, Emily used her own story of sexual disconnection and reconnection as an opportunity to look at what makes and breaks sexual connections. And guess what: it’s not what you think. Emily joined me from her home in New England to discuss coming out as a sex expert who lost her sex drive, taking the shoulds out of your sex life, why passion is overrated, how to get the weeds out of your sexual garden! being told she no longer had a “young vagina” And why she only has one inarguable piece of advice: lube is good! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Come As You Are and Come Together as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and this episode was edited by Juliette Nicholls at Pineapple Audio Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode of The Shift first aired in August 2021. My guest today is one of the most intelligent, thoughtful people I’ve ever interviewed - and I’ve interviewed A LOT. Writer and academic, Elif Shafak has written 19 books and 12 novels and been shortlisted for countless literary prizes, including the Booker Prize. Known for her bravery and outspokenness in the face of oppressive regimes, she has almost 2million followers on social media and is the best-selling female novelist in Turkey - a country to which she has been unable to return for the past 5 years after being put on trial for, amongst other things, insulting Turkishness. Her latest novel, The Island of Missing Trees, about the partition of Cyprus, is also about love, longing, exile and the environment. I think it might be the most beautiful thing she’s ever written, but you’ll have to judge for yourself. Elif talks about what home means to her, the importance of freedom and sharing your truth, the two very different women who made her, the importance of lifelong learning and the art of storytelling, and why menopause signals the end of “ayip” (shame). Oh, and being a middle-aged metalhead! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including The Island of Missing Trees by Elif Shafak and her most recent bestseller, the gorgeous There Are Rivers In The Sky, as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and this episode was edited by Emily Sandford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode of The Shift first aired in June 2022. I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve spoken to who were taken totally by surprise by perimenopause but, to date, none of them actually had medical training. Todays guest changes all that. Before she was an award winning writer, Christie watson was a nurse. She spent 20 years on children’s intensive care before her debut won the Costa first novel award and altered the trajectory of her life. Since then Christie has written two bestselling nursing memoirs, including the wonderful The Language of Kindness, and a second novel. Then, aged 42, perimenopause totally floored her. A single mum of two teenagers, she suddenly found herself a “blubbering snot crying wreck” in Sainsburys car park - a stranger, inside and out. Sound familiar?! I met Christie to talk about her memoir about that experience, Quilt On Fire, in a no-man’s land opposite the US embassy. As you do. We discussed being blindsided by menopause, grey pubic hairs, biblical bleeding, and the impact of unresolved trauma. Plus being single in midlife and braving the dating shark tank, her own personal menopause club (lucky woman), having a vulva the size of Brazil, the joy of becoming visible to older women and why nobody really has their shit together. Oh and an unexpected use for frozen fish fingers. * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Quilt on Fire by Christie Watson and her latest thriller, Killing Me Softly, as well as the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and this episode was edited by Emily Sandford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode of The Shift revisited was first aired in February 2023. I first met today's guest, Canadian singer-songwriter Martha Wainwright, when I interviewed her in Glasgow at the end of 2022. We got talking about the nuts and bolts of midlife in the green room and I was thrilled when she agreed to continue the conversation on The Shift. One of our foremost singer songwriters, Martha has released seven critically acclaimed albums. The latest of which, Love Will Be Reborn, is on repeat on my personal playlist. She’s also - let’s just get this out of the way now - the daughter of “folk royalty” Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III and sister of singer Rufus Wainwright. In short, she comes from a family of very distinct voices, which made finding her own a particular challenge. Martha joined me from her home in Montreal to discuss her extraordinarily frank memoir, the aptly titled Stories I Might Regret Telling You. This conversation goes to all the places: the struggle to make motherhood and the music industry mix, surviving her grim divorce, finding new love with a good man, leaning into your looks, and the agony of being unable to conceive in her 40s. Martha is as candid as her songwriting. Oh and she gave us a guided tour of her enormous vagina painting! * You can buy all the books mentioned in this podcast at The Shift bookshop on Bookshop.org, including Stories I Might Regret Telling You by Martha Wainwright and the book that inspired this podcast, The Shift: how I lost and found myself after 40 - and you can too, by me. * If you enjoyed this episode and you fancy buying me a coffee, pop over to my page on buymeacoffee.com. • And if you'd like to support the work that goes into making this podcast and get a weekly newsletter plus loads more content including exclusive transcripts of the podcast, why not join The Shift community, come and have a look around at www.theshiftwithsambaker.substack.com • The Shift is created, hosted and produced by Sam Baker and this episode was edited by Emily Sandford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Observed July 30, 2026.
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