My Momma Told Me

Were certain Black American idiosyncrasies actually planted by nefarious forces? Langston and David sit down in the new, permanent home of My Momma Told Me to answer listener voicemails, including one about how some Black customs (e.g. eating steak well-done) may not be authentic at all. 0:00 Cold open: The radio 4:46 A very new studio intro 10:27 Addressing the Filipino allegations 16:36 Adding a soundtrack to your life 27:30 Parenting a light-skinned child 34:08 Loving bad people (at the concert) 46:27 Voicemail 1: Well-done steak was popularized to deprive Black folks 57:15 Voicemail 2: Megan Thee Stallion has a ghostwriter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the government using Black social media users to study human behavior? Langston and David are joined by journalist-presenter Nina Parker to discuss how modern tech could be insidiously exploiting the Black community. Then, they answer a voicemail about the location of Dr. Umar’s charter school. 0:00 Prolapse cold open 8:58 A very weapons intro 17:24 Conspiracy: They never stopped experimenting on Black people 33:21 Content creation = drug dealing? 43:52 Newspapers, novels, smut 52:34 Internet posturing 58:04 Skincare for men 1:03:12 Voicemail: Dr. Umar’s school is in Delaware Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will eating the chalaza of an egg give you salmonella? Langston and David are joined by comedian-actress Zainab Johnson to question if we shouldn’t be eating the white film on egg yolks. Then, they answer a voicemail about NBA megastar Stephen Curry. 0:00 Cold open: Extraordinary genitals 6:45 A very The-Dream intro 13:01 Michael Jackson’s vulnerability in ‘Will You Be There’ 22:15 Katt Williams anecdote 26:52 Conspiracy: Never eat the chalaza of an egg 37:47 Unironically wearing Kangol hats 47:02 Talent vs. decency 52:42 Voicemail: Steph Curry uplifts white hoopers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How many people are deceitfully claiming autism or ADHD to explain away bad behavior? Langston and David answer three listener voicemails, including one positing that self-diagnosed neurodivergence has gone too far. 0:00 A very low and sultry intro 3:46 Getting recognized in public 6:08 Boosie BadAzz got scammed 19:00 Fighting in prison 26:34 Voicemail 1: Langston’s secret…? 28:28 Voicemail 2: Light-eyed bigotry 32:35 Voicemail 3: The spectrum ain’t spectrum-ing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does a man’s choice of facial hair expose his personality? Langston and David sit down to answer a handful of voicemails, including one about how men choose to adorn their faces betray the content of their souls. 0:00 Intro: Jamaican patois teacher 16:13 Voicemail 1: Cannibalism FIFA 21:25 Voicemail 2: Black people are not Native Americans 27:05 The biracial experience, revisited 34:30 Voicemail 3: Stripper names could be nicknames 42:01 Voicemail 4: Men’s facial hair reveal their character 50:06 Voicemail 5: Sucking on breasts enlarges them 55:05 Other mammals’ genitals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are people with dwarfism being harmed for the sake of advancing cosmetic surgeries? Langston and David are joined by actor-comedian Denny Love to discuss truly one of the craziest theories ever put forth in the history of this podcast. 0:00 Cold Open: Black Happy Birthday 4:12 Almost soiling your pants 12:11 Yelling out of the car 18:29 Intro: Soundboard shenanigans 24:48 Conspiracy theory: Little people are being targetted for BBL research 43:43 Is this theory…hate speech? 50:19 What the “research” says 57:52 Nicknames, reprised 1:01:35 Voicemail: Yung Miami is kid-maxxing 1:05:43 Bathroom emergencies, revisited Check out Langston’s mom’s Etsy store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MamaGiasStuff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the government dangling confirmation of human contact with aliens to divert our attention from more pressing matters? Langston and David are joined by actor Malcolm Barrett to discuss how convenient the timing of alien news is for those in power as well as the possibility of extraterrestrial life at large. 0:00 Cold open: The lore of Yakub 2:59 Have you ever been dunked on? 6:38 The art of the scam 9:38 Intro: The term “wifey” 21:30 Pop-a-shot at home 28:31 David is anti-whimsy 40:18 Conspiracy theory: They’re trying to distract us with aliens 48:01 Coolest American presidents 56:52 Would aliens even want to meet us? 1:01:45 Asian people with non-American accents 1:07:57 Are we too free here? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something deeper and darker behind the way some white folks relate with animals? Langston and David sit down to respond to listeners’ voicemails and emails, including one about the power dynamics between white people and their pets. 0:00 Avatar is mid 4:34 Doing bits with loved ones 9:39 Langston acquires a new nickname! 13:11 Voicemail 1: The Love Island men receive help 21:35 Voicemail 2: Investi-gay-tion 40:39 Email: White people and their pets Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Was the panic around lettuce-related explosive diarrhea fomented to make us turn on immigrant farmers? Langston and David are joined by actor/comedian Orlando Jones to answer four (4) voicemails sent in by the Lil’ Mommas, including one about the recent iceberg lettuce scare. 0:00 Intro: Bad slave dealerships 9:08 Autobiographies 16:14 Good Black stereotypes and demon possession 25:32 Voicemail 1: Biracial eugenics 35:02 Voicemail 2: Langston’s idiosyncratic noises 37:46 Voicemail 3: Don’t trust school tests 50:42 Voicemail 4: Is the lettuce-diarrhea parasite for real? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are they leading our species to extinction because we’re having too much fun? Langston and David sit down with the ageless Mariah Smith to discuss the end of the world as we know it and how to cope with that. 0:00 Cold open: Sports vs theater 3:22 Intro: Aspirations and checkpoints 11:01 How old is Mariah? 15:20 Conspiracy: They want the planet to die 21:53 Mariah’s favorite is…Ed Sheeran? 31:10 Getting cryogenically frozen 38:45 How long do we have as a species? 42:38 (Hypothetical) deceitfulness as a way of life 49:38 Voicemail: Civilization dies in comfort 55:23 Compulsive lying for sport, reprised Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are shady powers behind the once-viral mobile game Pokémon GO? Langston and David are joined by guitarist and former Pokémon GO player Brian Robert Jones to discuss the possibility that the popular game was harnessed for wicked purposes. 0:00 Cold open: Steppers, criminality, racial slurs 6:48 Intro: David’s treasonous ways 10:57 Smokey Robinson trying to pronounce Chanukah 20:10 Jar Jar Binks (!!!) 28:25 Conspiracy: Pokémon GO was a CIA plant 44:50 Slavery was the big lick 51:57 Fandom, fame, fitness, fishing 1:13:31 Homemade wine and new cocktail technology 1:19:30 Boundaries between teachers and students 1:25:34 Being tracked by the Apple Watch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has the biblical serpent Leviathan risen? Langston and David are joined by comedian Kiry Shabazz to discuss the scenarios in which we can eat, or be eaten by, the mythical sea beast. Then, they answer a listener voicemail about Terrence Howard’s porn habits. 0:00 Using the car back-up camera 7:10 Rappers acting as themselves in movies 12:20 Why the American accents in ‘The Odyssey’? 18:30 Denzel as a gateway into Shakespeare 27:45 Intro: The new soundboard 34:20 Smokey Robinson promoting (?) the gang life 37:15 The whimsical Baltimore accent 42:45 British rap…nah 49:00 What happened to white music culture? 54:15 Conspiracy: The Leviathan has risen 1:02:40 Do you worry that the Leviathan will eat you? 1:04:55 The unbelievable Langston car accident story 1:11:43 Voicemail: Terrence Howard watches incest porn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it say about America that we're obsessed with a deformed raccoon? Langston and David are joined by the brilliant actress Bresha Webb (Run the World, Marlon) to discuss Jimothy the internet sensation as well as answer a voicemail about the lost artifacts of slavery. 0:00 Cold open: Ranch and barbecue sauce 2:27 Jimothy the raccoon 8:40 The struggles of a no-neck existence 17:38 Acting roles bleeding into life 31:27 Why’d they name Jimothy slave-style??? 35:48 Bigfoot, aliens, and Asian neighbors 52:11 Listener voicemail: Where are all the slave ships? 1:00:26 White people practicing whips Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do cannibals live amongst us? Could we be unwittingly partaking in such a horrifying act? Langston and David explore the possibility of human meat consumption in our present and/or future. Then, they respond to an email about Big Soda potentially suppressing upstart beverage brands. 0:00 Cold open: Nicknames as an adult 11:05 Are we post-Julia Roberts as a society? 15:32 Conspiracy theory: We are already cannibals 32:34 A brief Jackie Chan detour 37:46 How would eating people even work? 43:25 How are the men on Love Island not hard all the time? 53:33 Listener email: Tropical Fantasy rumor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Originally performed and taped at The Mint in Los Angeles, California on June 24, 2026. 0:00 Intro (Langston’s pants) 8:15 Is Adrien Broner okay? 15:45 Guests: Deante’ Kyle and Big Ice Cup Kat from the ‘Grits and Eggs Podcast’ 19:15 ‘The Blackest’ game 40:30 The ‘Quid Pro Quo Ho’ game 1:01:50 The “Lil’ Momma Love Connection’ game with Maud Arnold 1:35:55 Q&A and outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has Elon Musk succumbed to his own creation, the Neuralink? Langston and David sit down with comedian Del Amo Manny to explore how this terrifying technology has already permeated the universe as well as answer a listener voicemail about putting purses on the floor. 0:00 Cold open: Juneteenth and oil men 14:31 Early Facebook shenanigans 25:19 Conspiracy: All of Elon Musk’s erratic behavior can be explained by the Neuralink chip 55:30 Gods shouldn’t be buff / what if Jesus was fat? 1:07:50 #LetLangstonDance 1:09:27 Listener voicemail: Don’t put your purse on the floor, it’ll make you go broke Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are social media trends just a thinly veiled strategy to collect data on us? Comedian and friend of the show Will Miles joins Langston and David to discuss that possibility, as well as answer a voicemail about how antidepressants are more prevalent among white people. 0:00 Robots kicking children in China 8:45 Conspiracy: Every social media trend is a psy-op 36:00 Racial slurs and their rules 41:50 What’s wrong with industry plants? 56:10 Voicemail: White people know secrets about SSRIs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does having a dream about a fish presage pregnancy? If so, for whom? Langston and David sit down with hilarious friend of the show Mandal to discuss the powers that our dreams may carry. Then, they listen to a voicemail about whether dinosaurs really went extinct...or simply evolved. Finally, they explore the veracity of Steve Harvey's hair during his early career. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Could Dr. Umar’s dream of establishing and operating an alternative school for black children actually come to life? Langston and David get together (in David's house!) to react to new video evidence — straight from the horse’s mouth. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've got our tinfoil shower caps on, and we're answering your questions with the one and only Will Ferrell! Psyche. But it is our last episode with iHeart. Langston and David take your pre-recorded calls to answer the most important questions of the day: Does being a good R&B singer make you a scumbag? Could killing your sex drive be a good thing? It's been a fun ride. Hang around to hear what's next. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices