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Published by Shawn Weber, CLS-F, Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® and Peter Roussos, M.A., MFT, CST
Sit down with “The California Divorce Experts”: Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, for a frank and casual conversation about divorce, separation, co-parenting and the difficult decisions real people like you face during these tough times.We know that if you are considering divorce or separation, it can be scary and overwhelming. With combined experience of over 60 years in divorce and conflict management, we are here for you and look forward to helping by sharing our unique ideas, thoughts and perspectives on divorce, separation, and co-parenting. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Every family law case is unique, so no legal, financial or mental health advice is intended during this podcast. If you need help with your specific situation, feel free to schedule a time to speak with one of us for a personal consultation.*Certified Specialist – Family LawThe State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization.
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Sexuality powerfully shapes our relationships, often revealing deeper issues when intimacy falters. The Three Wise Men delve into this complex territory lead by Pete Roussos, a licensed sex therapist, to exploring how sexual dysfunction typically signals problems elsewhere in a relationship. The conversation uncovers how respect forms the foundation of healthy sexual connection. When partners feel disrespected or unacknowledged outside the bedroom, sexual dynamics inevitably suffer. This erosion creates vulnerability to outside validation, making affairs more likely. Perhaps most thought-provoking is the concept of "an affair with integrity" – challenging conventional thinking by suggesting true integrity would involve honest communication about changing boundaries before any lines are crossed. The experts examine how affairs represent one partner unilaterally removing the other's choice, constituting the fundamental betrayal beyond the physical act itself. They explore gender differences in experiencing betrayal, the complexities of transitioning to open relationships, and how religious values shape sexual expectations. The discussion challenges the concept of "sexual addiction," suggesting it's a way to avoid accountability for choices. For couples navigating divorce, understanding these dynamics offers valuable perspective. The healthiest separations happen when both parties recognize incompatibilities around sexuality reflect differences in authentic needs rather than personal rejection. Therapy during divorce isn't "failed" if the marriage ends – it succeeds when it helps individuals better understand themselves before entering new relationships. Whether you're struggling in your current relationship or rebuilding after separation, this episode provides compassionate insight into how sexuality connects to our deepest needs for respect, authenticity, and meaningful connection. Subscribe for more wisdom from these experts in psychology, finance, and family law – each bringing decades of experience to help you navigate relationship challenges with greater clarity. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Divorce doesn't have to be a battlefield where only the strongest survive. Yet many people approach it with exactly this mindset, fueled by persistent myths about what the family court system can and will do for them. In this candid conversation, we three divorce experts cut through the misconceptions that lead so many people toward an unnecessarily destructive and expensive processes. We tackle the painful truth that fault attribution has virtually no impact in our no-fault divorce system, despite many clients' desperate need to have their "day in court" to tell their story of marital anguish. We explore the sobering reality of judicial discretion—how judges are human beings with unconscious biases who must make decisions based on limited information presented in court. When you hand your most important family decisions to a stranger in a black robe, you're gambling with outcomes that affect you and your children for years to come. The financial toll of adversarial divorce receives special attention as we contrast the initial retainer promises with the eventual six-figure realities many litigants face. The most damaging myth we address might be the belief that hiring an aggressive "gladiator" attorney will somehow produce better results, when experience shows they just make it take longer. Through real examples and decades of professional wisdom, we make the case for mediation and collaborative divorce as processes that not only cost less financially but also preserve the relationships that matter—especially when children are involved. While no divorce process is entirely painless or inexpensive, understanding these realities can help you make choices that support your long-term well-being rather than satisfying short-term desires for vindication. Ready to approach your divorce with clear eyes and realistic expectations? Listen now to arm yourself with the truth about what really works in family transitions. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Our exploration of fault versus no-fault divorce reveals surprising historical twists and powerful stakes for modern families. Did you know Ronald Reagan—yes, that Ronald Reagan—signed America's first no-fault divorce law? Before that watershed moment, couples resorted to hiring private detectives and staging hotel room encounters just to escape unhappy marriages. Today, conservative voices like JD Vance advocate returning to fault-based divorce, arguing no-fault made ending marriages too easy. But what's really behind this push? As we unpack the complex history of divorce law reform, we explore whether making divorce harder actually creates healthier marriages or simply traps people in unhappy ones. The conversation takes fascinating turns through domestic violence statutes, covenant marriages, and the concerning trend of weaponizing abuse allegations for financial advantage. We consider thought-provoking questions: Does fault-based divorce protect families or amplify conflict? How does assigning blame affect children caught in the middle? And ultimately, shouldn't we focus on creating healthy marriages rather than simply preventing their dissolution? Our candid discussion reveals how divorce laws reflect deeper cultural values about gender, family, and personal freedom. Whether you're navigating your own relationship challenges or simply interested in how policy shapes our most intimate decisions, this episode offers valuable perspective on what genuinely helps families thrive rather than merely stay together. Share your thoughts with us on this controversial topic! We're genuinely interested in hearing different perspectives as we continue exploring the complex intersection of money, psychology, and law in divorce. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Divorce unfolds in two parallel universes: the cold, mechanical world of legal proceedings and the raw, messy landscape of human emotions. When these worlds collide, many discover that what matters most to them personally holds little to no relevance in court. This disconnect can leave people feeling unheard and unable to move forward. We dive deep into the concept of "legally irrelevant" issues that carry enormous emotional weight—betrayal from affairs, resentment over financial power imbalances, religious conflicts about raising children, and the unspoken promises broken through divorce. These emotionally charged issues may not sway a judge, but they absolutely impact people's willingness to negotiate and their ability to co-parent effectively after divorce. Through real-world examples from our decades of combined experience, we explore how alternative approaches like mediation and collaborative divorce create sacred space for necessary emotional processing. We share strategies for reframing painful conversations, acknowledging hurt without assigning blame, and shifting focus from past grievances to future relationships—especially when children are involved. The conversation takes a powerful turn when we discuss how parents "write the divorce story their children will tell." By defining personal mission statements and values early in the process, divorcing couples create foundations that support them through difficult conversations and set the stage for healthier post-divorce family dynamics. Whether you're contemplating divorce, in the middle of one, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers wisdom about addressing the human side of legal separation. The law may be an imperfect tool for healing emotional wounds, but with the right approach, you can honor both the legal and emotional aspects of divorce. What emotional issues are you struggling with that might seem "irrelevant" to the legal process? We'd love to hear your thoughts and questions. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Curious about navigating the complexities of high-conflict divorce with more grace and empathy? Discover the transformative power of mediation and Collaborative Practice with our esteemed guest, Charmaine Panko , a seasoned lawyer, mediator and Collaborative practitioner from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Together, we unpack the challenges of navigating divorce with a high-conflict personality. Journey with us as we explore the "divorce escalator" metaphor and how traditional adversarial court systems can heighten tensions instead of resolving them. Personal anecdotes and professional insights reveal the limitations of current legal frameworks in addressing the psychological and financial needs of families in turmoil. We champion a shift towards a more collaborative, problem-solving approach in legal education, aiming for a system that supports long-term planning and mutual understanding over win-lose battles. Engage with us in a conversation about the benefits of interest-based negotiations, which focus on shared values rather than adversarial tactics. We highlight the critical importance of trust-building, especially in co-parenting scenarios, and how mediation can offer hope for high-conflict personalities. © 2025 Weber Dispute Resolution. All rights reserved. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
In this Presidential Election season, polarization is tearing us apart, but could it also hold the key to understanding and strengthening personal relationships? As the Three Wisemen of Divorce guide us through the charged political landscape of 2024, we uncover how deeply entrenched views can unravel marriages and complicate co-parenting. Through real-life cases, we examine how disagreements over finances and medical care can ignite conflicts, emphasizing that respect for differing opinions often proves more crucial than fiscal harmony. Our exploration takes a discerning look at divorce and co-parenting, particularly when it comes to differences of opinion over morality, politics or even health care. The conversation extends to the broader societal divides that color our relationships, whether ideological, religious, or lifestyle-based. By acknowledging the role of mediators and therapists in navigating these treacherous waters in family law and divorce matters, we recognize the value of staying neutral while remaining engaged. Through humor and cultural analogies, the complexities of maintaining respect amidst disagreements become evident. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Unlock the secrets to effective communication in divorce mediation and transform misunderstandings into mutual understanding. Have you ever wondered why a simple desire, like being a "50-50 dad," can spiral into conflict? We promise to equip you with the tools to navigate these emotional landmines, spotlighting the imperative role of clear intentions and assumptions that can escalate tensions. Our episode sheds light on how professionals diligently maintain neutrality, ensuring both parties in a divorce feel heard and understood, despite the emotional reactivity that often pervades the process. Through real-life scenarios and expert insights, we dissect the art of distinguishing between complaints and character attacks, guiding you toward more productive conversations. Discover how mediators can transform conflict into cooperation by clarifying complaints and avoiding the triggers of defensive responses. As we explore the intricate dance of mediation strategies, we emphasize persistence and the nuanced understanding of underlying issues. From financial settlements to property division, see how personal desires can overshadow objective considerations and learn how mediators, alongside mental health professionals, help clients articulate hidden needs, paving the way for empathetic, effective resolutions. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
What if you could transform anger into a tool for growth and understanding? We bring you a thought-provoking conversation with Dr. James Walton , Ph.D., a licensed family therapist and Eureka Award recipient. Together, we explore the intricate dynamics of anger during divorce and offer practical strategies for managing these intense emotions. Learn how to separate feeling angry from outward expressions of anger and why making conscious choices about our reactions is vital for healthy communication. Sit down with us as we unpack techniques to handle difficult conversations with grace, especially when emotions run high. Ever wondered how to stay calm and collected? Discover the power of pausing conversations, modeling calm behavior, and reframing complaints into constructive proposals. Dr. Walton shares invaluable insights on how feeling heard and validated can significantly reduce anger. Additionally, we delve into the importance of creating a mission statement to guide respectful interactions, both in personal and professional settings. But that's not all! Our conversation takes a deeper turn as we discuss managing conflicts during meetings, employing "I" statements, and the role of curiosity in resolving disputes. Dr. Walton offers wisdom on understanding the underlying emotions masked by anger, such as fear or shame, and how family history impacts relationship dynamics. We also highlight the importance of professional dispute resolvers and the benefits of restorative practices. Whether you're navigating divorce or just seeking better ways to communicate, this episode is packed with actionable advice and heartfelt stories to help you foster healthier, more constructive relationships. Here's a shout-out to Feedspot , who recognized The Three Wisemen of Divorce as one of California's top law podcasts ! The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Ever wondered why untangling the knot of marriage can feel like braving a labyrinth? In a truth-telling session with financial divorce consultant Mark Hill, therapist Pete Roussos, and attorney Shawn Weber, we uncover the multifaceted journey through divorce. Starting with a chuckle, we quickly delve into the sobering realities couples face as they divide their lives, emphasizing the pivotal role of understanding both the tangible assets and the intangible emotional investments involved. Navigating a divorce can feel like steering through a storm, with the potential to either reach safe harbor swiftly or get mired in tempestuous disputes. Our experts dissect the emotional echoes of marriage that reverberate through the legal process, illustrating with tales of lightning-fast settlements and agonizing multi-year battles. The conversation is an eye-opener to the significance of emotional intelligence and the strategies that can help avoid the quicksand of acrimony, framing a realistic picture of what closure might truly entail. Lastly, we stitch together the wisdom of our Three Wisemen of Divorce to craft an arsenal of negotiation strategies that balance heart and wallet. This episode isn't just about the end of a marriage; it's a guide to the beginning of a future—with the clarity and support to make it a healthier, wealthier one. Join us for an intimate exploration of the intersection between the ledger and the heart in the landscape of divorce. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Discover the transformative power of mental health support in the realm of divorce with the Three Wisemen of Divorce. This episode delves into the emotional complexities of separation and the pivotal role therapists play in steering individuals towards a collaborative divorce. We unpack the stark contrasts between marital therapy, coaching and mediation support, shining a light on how emotional intelligence and self-management can dramatically alter the course of a divorce for the better. This journey isn't just about the end of a partnership; it's an invitation to understand the importance of professional guidance in fostering healthy communication and mutual respect during what can be one of life's most challenging transitions. Navigating the stormy seas of divorce can leave many adrift, but with the help of mental health professionals, couples can find their way to calmer waters. The Three Wisemen of Divorce offer insights on how incorporating therapists into the divorce process can lead to healthier, more strategic outcomes, particularly when children and co-parenting arrangements are involved. We explore the signs that indicate a need for professional help and discuss the concept of 'the good divorce', aiming to transform the post-divorce family dynamic into one focused on the collective well-being. This conversation is a beacon of hope, illustrating that even amidst the heartache of separation, there's an opportunity to emerge stronger and more connected as co-parents. Concluding our episode, we confront the nuanced art of co-parenting and the strategic navigation of divorce mediation. The invaluable perspective of a mental health professional is not to be underestimated, even in the most amicable of separations. The Three Wisemen of Divorce share practical advice on personal growth, self-sufficiency, and the development of new communication skills that are essential in post-divorce life. By embracing these strategies, individuals are empowered to manage their new dynamics with poise and collaboration, always with the best interests of their children at heart. Join us for this profound exploration, and let us guide you toward a future of resilience and cooperation in the face of change. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Discover how to navigate the complexities of divorce with financial savvy and emotional intelligence as we chat with financial divorce consultant Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA, therapist Pete Roussos, MFT, and attorney Shawn Weber. This revealing conversation is packed with expert advice on the crucial role of financial specialists during divorce mediation. You'll gain an understanding of the emotional weight of assets, how to balance power dynamics, and the subtleties of informed decision-making. Our guests strip back the layers of financial negotiations, providing a clear path to a fair settlement that respects both the past and future financial health of those involved. We also dissect the utility and foresight offered by prenuptial agreements, and why financial planning should be an essential part of marital discussions, with or without the prospect of separation. Mark, Pete, and Shawn debunk the common myths surrounding the involvement of financial experts, emphasizing their potential to simplify and streamline the process, despite initial concerns about cost and complexity. If you're facing the challenges of uncoupling, or simply want to fortify your marital financial planning, this episode is an invaluable guide to protecting your assets and peace of mind. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Discover the surprising truth behind the role of attorneys in divorce mediation and why you should never underestimate their value in steering you toward fair outcomes. As we navigate the complexities of legal separation, we shatter the myth that mediators can, or should, replace the need for expert legal advice. Their seasoned insights reveal the nuances of choosing a lawyer who doesn't just understand the mediation process but champions it, ensuring your decisions are both informed and align with your objectives. Embark on a practical exploration of how to select an attorney who prioritizes efficiency and cooperation—traits that can not only lower costs but also reduce stress. The Three Wisemen of Divorce explore the vital balance between legal advocacy and the collaborative essence of mediation, a balance that empowers you to maintain control of your divorce journey. Learn how the right legal counsel operates, whether they're offering guidance from behind the scenes or actively participating in mediation sessions, and how they can protect your interests without sacrificing the spirit of cooperation. Finally, we delve into what it means to work with a truly mediation-friendly family law attorney, one who's equipped with specific mediation training and a deep understanding of the collaborative process. We emphasize the strategic value of involving your lawyer early on, particularly when it comes to crafting a robust marital settlement agreement that reflects all parties' voices. Our expert panel lays out the importance of legal expertise in forging a cooperative resolution, ensuring that every decision made in mediation respects your goals and stands up to legal scrutiny. Tune in for an eye-opening discussion that may just change the way you view lawyers in the world of divorce mediation. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Sometimes things are hard with the holidays- especially after a divorce. In fact, the weather outside can be frightful. In this episode, Mark, Shawn and Pete discuss the challenges families face when navigating co-parenting during the holidays. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
There are more than one type of mediation. Every mediator has his own mediation style. In this episode, The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss four different mediation styles: transformative, facilitative, informational and evaluative. Each mediation style has its own pros and cons and it is important to consider what style will work best for your divorce case. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
On this episode of The Three Wisemen of Divorce, our experts tackle a difficult but important topic: divorce during a financial crisis. Drawing on their extensive experience working with clients during periods of economic upheaval, the Wisemen share valuable insights and practical tips for navigating divorce decisions when finances are at their most precarious. From the lessons learned from the failure of Silicon Bank to strategies for protecting your assets during inflation, this episode is a must-listen for anyone going through a divorce during a financial crisis. Join us and learn from the divorce experts: Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney. *Certified Specialist – Family Law The State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
This week The Three Wisemen of Divorce sit down with forensic psychologist and family consultant in complex family law cases, Robert A. Simon, Ph.D . If you are involved in a divorce with kids, especially litigation, you may have to endure a forensic custody evaluation. Dr. Simon provides his thoughts and insights about how to prepare for and navigate the forensic custody evaluation and how adversarial family law litigation often causes unintentional and unnecessary damage to kids. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
With the New Year come new resolutions and plans for the upcoming year. But what if your New Year's resolution is to get a divorce? Believe it or not, January is known as "divorce season" in the family law business because so many people decide to call it quits after the holidays. Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk about divorce in the New Year and things to think about before you take the plunge. *Certified Specialist - Family Law The State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
The first holidays after a divorce can be tough. We call it the "Year of Firsts." It's the first Christmas, Passover, Birthday, Fourth of July, and even Super Bowl Sunday while separated. Questions abound such as: How are the holidays split in a divorce? What will Christmas after divorce be like? Should divorced parents spend holidays together? Surviving the holidays after divorce can be challenging. Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST , psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss legal, financial, and emotional aspects of the first holidays after divorce. *Certified Specialist - Family Law The State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Sometimes a divorce case gets stuck because the professionals or the clients have not taken the time to prepare the case to be ready to settle. Impasse is sometimes nothing more than not having the facts or the emotions ready to find a solution. Learn what it takes to achieve "settlement readiness". The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, M.A., MFT, CST , Psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss why the first two weeks of any divorce is the most dangerous time. Learn what kinds of situations can make this the most dangerous time and learn strategies for setting boundaries and minimizing conflict. The Three Wisemen of Divorce are divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA®, Financial Divorce Consultant; Peter Roussos, MA, MFT, CST, psychotherapist; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F*, Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
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