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Published by The Grawlix (Adam Cayton-Holland, Ben Roy, Andrew Orvedahl)
The World's Only Competitive Advice Podcast. We're here to help, but mostly just fight. Get ad-free episodes and bonus content at patreon.com/grawlixsaves. Got a question? Email us: question@advicefight.com About Us: • The Grawlix: Adam, Ben and Andrew have been performing standup and sketch comedy as a trio for 20 years. Their self-titled monthly live standup comedy show, The Grawlix, is one of the longest running and most respected indie showcases in the United States. They created, wrote, and starred in TruTV’s scripted comedy series Those Who Can’t for three seasons. Collectively they were named one of Variety’s Top 10 Comics to Watch. For the last five years, the boys hosted The Grawlix Saves the World, a comedy podcast about self improvement that received accolades from the Denver Post, Huffington Post, Lifehacker and more. They are lifelong friends, self-proclaimed experts in everything and “practically doctors,” a claim that will almost certainly get them sued one day. • Ben Roy has released five standup albums and his standup special, HYENA (streaming on Hulu), was named one of NPR’s top comedy specials of 2023. He is national touring headliner who has performed at countless comedy festivals, including Montreal’s Just for Laughs and South by Southwest, and his standup and acting has been featured on HBO’s Funny as Hell series, numerous Comedy Central shows, and TruTV’s Talk Show The Game Show. • Adam Cayton-Holland has released six comedy albums and a 30-minute special on Comedy Central. His latest special, Wallpaper, is currently streaming on Hulu. He has made multiple appearances on CONAN, The Late Late Show with James Corden, and numerous comedy festivals. He also recently adapted his award-winning memoir, Tragedy Plus Time, into the feature film See You When I See You, which is currently in post-production. • Andrew Orvedahl has released three albums and his special, Doom Math, is currently available on Amazon Prime and Apple TV. He has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and several comedy festivals, including Montreal’s Just for Laughs, Bridgetown, SXSW, and the Great American Comedy Festival.
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TODAY'S QUESTION: Hello Boys (with a “Z”)! Long time writer, first time listener. My partner with whom I am in a serious relationship, has asked me to move in with him. This is a move towards us getting married. Here is my dilemma, he is a widower and still has pictures of his first wife up in the house. This isn’t strange since his adult kids come over frequently. Now, I don’t want to be an asshole, but if I’m going to live there, I don’t want to see her picture on the wall. I need your advice on how to approach this. Thank you!K LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, November 29th with Troy Walker and Jordan Doll! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Got a question? Email us: question@advicefight.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION Dearest docs, With the biggest c*cks, May i slide my question in your collective Advice box? My partner and I, Falling into the starving artists troupe, my partner working as an aspiring business owner/artist, Me working at a coffee shop and supplementing income performing music at bars and markets, we occasionally will make adult content for a few discreet clients to help make ends meet. Over the years this has brought us in thousands of dollars of extra income and helped us avoid evictions and keep our kids alive and well. For the first time, a client did not pay us for content provided. This person is a vague acquaintance whom we've never met in person. We know mutual people, We know where they work, Where they live, All their kinks and secrets, and all the ways they fear their lives would be destroyed if those kinks and secrets were to ever be found out by anyone this person thinks loves and respects them. We dont make content for fun. Unless you consider paying bills fun. This person knows this and we are hurt and mad. How would you doctors handle this situation? Sincerely, Ripped off in America. Ps. If your advice leads to us getting paid, maybe I'll finally be able to afford to join at a paid level!! I've consumed far too much of your content for free and as a creator myself I feel bad. Perhaps this whole situation is Karma. LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, November 29th with Troy Walker and Jordan Doll! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Got a question? Email us: question@advicefight.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Ben, Andrew, and Adam, Squirrels keep stealing tomatoes from my garden. I've tried nets, metal screens, chili powder. A motion-activated noise thingy. Nothing works. I need some fresh ideas. Please help! Hugs and kisses, Mater Gator LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, November 29th with Troy Walker and Jordan Doll! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Got a question? Email us: question@advicefight.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION Long time listener, first time writer. How can I pick up a guy at the pickleball courts? (Or anywhere out in the wild for that matter?) I grew up in the 80s/90s where no one was teaching us ladies how to pick up men... How do I tell who's single? Who's interested? How do I let it be known that I'm single? Do guys want to be hit on?... Is that a turn off? I would love to find someone to dink around the kitchen with, both on and off the courts.I recently joined a league so I can work on my pickleball game, and now I'm coming to you boyz for help to work on my "game" game. What say ye-es? [yeez] Sincerely, Desperately Dinking "Susan" LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, November 29th with Troy Walker and Jordan Doll! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Got a question? Email us: question@advicefight.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Dearest GrawDogs, I moved to Denver in 2011 (it seems like Producer Ron™ loves your Denver-specific riffs, so I’ll just mention that my first apartment was at 13th & Grant, across from City O’ and the original Quiznos, that I believe is now a hair salon or something). Anyway, moving here was the first time I left home, and for the last 15 years I have enjoyed blissful, family-free autonomy. Recently however, my sister and her family moved from out of state to a house a few miles from my place… Don’t get me wrong, they’re nice folks and we all get along, but in the last couple of weeks I have received multiple texts suggesting we get dinner (again), or get drinks (again), or that they’re at the park down the street if I want to stop by (again)… I’m happy to hang from time to time, but I still want to maintain the family-less freedom i’ve come to know and enjoy. Fighters of advice, in your infinite wisdom, what should I do? Can I tell them to respectfully kick rocks as they get settled in a new city? Should I suck it up and be grateful to have family nearby? Help me, Grawlix three! — Not-so-family-friendly in Denver LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Gentlemen Fighters, My family and I are having a challenging time out here in the burbs of Denver. For the past 2 years we have had fairly consistent ding-dong ditches at our house between 8 and 10pm. It would only be a minor annoyance if not for the devastating effects on our household. Of note: 1- our neurotic shepherd dog. We had to put this dog on prozac earlier this year because of her anxiety, so these late-night intrusions derail this fragile dog. 2- if the doorbell doesn't wake the kids up, the dog does with her insane, shrill barking and spinning out around the house. 3- the kids. Our 7-year-old is starting to get freaked out by these random knock/doorbell instrusions while he is falling asleep or asleep for the night. The worst effects are on our 3-year-old. After 2 years of constant bedtime battles and not sleeping through the night we have finally made progress, but these late-night interruptions are starting to undo all of those efforts. Our current solutions aren't working. We have a camera doorbell (that's why we know it's teenagers). We have a motion-sensor light on our driveway, and we leave our front light on too. These deterrents have no effect on these determined teens. Our street runs along a park and our neighbors have encountered the same issue, but not as frequently. We won't call the cops for these minor things, and it wouldn't help anyway. My wife and I figured that the Advice Doctors would have the best prescription to stop these inconsiderate dicks, without causing retribution. Sleepless in Centennial, your friend, Elliot LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Me and 4 of my great friends all have mothers or mothers-in-law named "Barb." Please let us know the best way to commemorate our friendship with your best Barb-forward idea. Thank you! --Kyle LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: To my favorite trio of advice professionals, I have been with my wife for ten years and married for six years. I love her dearly and try to make sure I always have her back. She is smart, talented, and supportive. She also believes she was put on this planet to help and heal people. One of the many things I love that about her. The problem is, her version of healing relates less to medicine and science and more towards energy work and spirituality. She wants to start a business that is part reiki healing and part body energy work. We’re not destitute, but we definitely don’t have that ‘pursue a seemingly volatile business idea’ kind of money either. Especially in a time where everything feels like it’s on fire and extra money for these types of services seems to be at a premium. While I’m not completely against her pursuing these healing opportunities, how do I stay supportive of her dream while very much not supporting this specific business idea? Keep up the good work, fellas Sincerely, Stuck in #@%-@$$ Douglas County LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Dearest Ben and remaining two talentless dinks, I am seeking advice that is of the utmost importance. I am known about my city as a scorching hot standup comedian with accolades galore, as well as a gifted actor and scribe, worthy of all the awards that Hollywood can bestow, if the godless bastard gatekeepers would take the time to notice me. But, my career has been stunted by my love of music. My social media presence has struggled to gain the numbers I feel I deserve, because it appears scattered as I am always interrupting standup clips with videos of me performing in my various music projects, not to mention that my management has repeatedly said that the industry doesn't know if I want to be a comedian or a quote-unquote "Mr. Rocker Guy." What do I do? Music is my first love and has been my true passion since I was 14 years old, but I'm aging out and have more opportunities at the ready in the comedy world. Help me, you talentless hacks. Signed, Your Bestest Friend, Ben Roy LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Greetings esteemed fighters, I'm a 29 year old woman living in the big city for the first time. I've been so lucky to meet a lot of wonderful people, and in embracing the queer community here I've really had the chance to learn about myself. Me and my partner are polyamorous and have been since before we met each other. I have another friend who we will call C who is also a queer poly person. I love C, but everytime I bring a hot new person around, they immediately drop what they're doing and try to take them to Strap City, North Dakota. I would never try to control my friend or my lovers, but how do I gently tell my friend to get their own hotties instead of trying to bone all of mine? Sincerely, Lost in Trans-lation LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear two stupid idiots, I am late for everything. It doesn't matter how much I prepare or how I schedule my day, I am just late for everything. It drives me crazy and it drives everyone else crazy also. How can I stop being late? Signed, The best person in this group, me LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION Dearest boys, I love you and appreciate you equally.I am seeking advice as how I might get Adam to forgive me.My mother and I were at Mississippi Studios in Portland to see Adam.She and I are having difficulties, both individually and congruently.We were talking and it was offensive. I am not arguing the facts.I am sorry and I will understand if this is the end for us, Adam. Loved seeing you, regardless.You are taller in person.Thanks for being you. All four of you.Best,Love. Hail Satan,PenelopeLINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear the grawlix my dad is a big fan I'm a freshman in high school and going on my first date I said I would cook dinner but don't actually know how to cook lol help please LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, September 26th with Dave Ross and Chris Walsh! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Hi Fellas, My group of friends from high school wanted to rent a house for a week by a lake and relive our glory days. I was the most enthusiastic when planning started and said I would be there the whole week. Now the house is rented and it’s a 2.5 hour drive. I have a job currently and already took the vacation block for the whole week. I have been applying for better jobs, but did not expect anything in today’s job market. I applied and interviewed to the perfect job. Promotion, raise, easier commute, better work life balance, everything. I was given a job offer but they want me to start the Monday of the lake weekend. Now I’m looking for advice. Thanks, Troy Tulowitski (My real name is ***** but I would prefer to stay anonymous and thought you would appreciate the Rockies reference.) LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, July 25th with Baron Vaughn and Shannon Norman! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Check out Charlie Continental's new album! Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What to do when you discover your partner’s secret Instagram account. TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear Ben, Andrew, and Adam, You know how Instagram recommends new people to follow? Well it just recommended my boyfriend's secret Insta account. That's how I found out he's been cheating on me. He told me he was working a part-time job at night. We're on a lease together. He doesn't know that I know and I can't afford to move out. And I really really can't move back in with my parents. Help me, Grawlix. Love, Lost LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, July 25th with Baron Vaughn and Shannon Norman! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Check out Charlie Continental's new album! Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: Dear esteemed Grawlix bois, My almost 2-year-old nephew is obsessed with his Fox-News-loving grandpa (my dad). As the radical leftist auntie, this really grinds my gears. I go to great lengths to win him over every time I see him, but no matter what I do, he constantly demands that I take him to "papa." What can I do to win over my nephew for good and prevent him from turning into a misogynistic MAGA douche? Sincerely, The Cool Auntie 😎 LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, July 25th with Baron Vaughn and Shannon Norman! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Check out Charlie Continental's new album! Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, exclusive merch, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Grawlix,I'm hoping you can give me some advice. My wife and I are in our early to mid 40s, and over the last 1 to 2 years, my wife's libido has gone through the roof. Recently, she wants to get spanked, engage in dirty talk and wants me to objectify her. While it isn't really my thing, I am not opposed to trying these things for her. However, I am a bit out of my element when it comes to dirty talk and also find it hilarious. I have trouble thinking of things to say, and when I do, I often start laughing. On one occasion, I came up with an alter ego, Dr. Spanker, but had trouble keeping it together and started laughing. Another concern of mine is that we live in a small house and my almost teenage daughter's room is right across the hall from our bedroom. I am paranoid that she will hear the sound of spanking coming from our bedroom or hear me say something that would sound horrible in any other context. Do you have any advice on how to talk dirty, not laugh, and avoid being overheard across the hall?Sincerely,Dr. Spanker LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, July 25th with Baron Vaughn and Shannon Norman! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Check out Charlie Continental's new album! Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, exclusive merch, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION Hey guys, Big fan but never thought I'd need advice. I just found out that my cousin is divorcing her husband. He's my best friend. I introduced them. I was the best man at their wedding, we hang out all the time, his family and our family is tight, I love them both a bunch. Now they're splitting up and my cousin won't say why. What the hell do I do? Darius (no my real name, my cousin and best friend also listen to your podcast) LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, July 25th with Baron Vaughn and Shannon Norman! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, exclusive merch, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In honor of Adam's birthday, we're addressing this ridiculous question. TODAY'S QUESTION Dear Handsome Doctors: I listen to a podcast every week that I really love. It has 3 really funny and insightful people, but lately I seem to like one of them more. His level of strategic thinking and commitment to psychotic takes is making him dangerously close to becoming my favourite. I don't want to lose sight of the other two, who are both fine, because this third guy (lets just call him Adam), is stealing the spotlight. Help me see afresh what qualities the other two bring to this knives-out triumvirate. Yours Truly, Ugly Fan LINKS No Grawlix live show in June! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, exclusive merch, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TODAY'S QUESTION: G-Men, After years of artful avoidance, I ran into my next-door neighbor in the alley, and he introduced himself. This neighbor — I’ll call him “Handyman Ron” here — now waves at me every single time I see him, and it’s become something of a daily obligation to wave back. What can I do to convince him that I am a sociopath so that he never waves - or makes eye contact with me - ever again?” John Moore LINKS See the Grawlix live at the Bug Theatre on Saturday, May 30th with Zach Peterson, Laura Peek, and Leah Althoff! Follow us for show dates and more: Adam Cayton-Holland • Ben Roy • Andrew Orvedahl • The Grawlix Support this podcast on Patreon to get ad-free episodes, bonus videos, exclusive merch, birthday shout-outs and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Observed November 4, 2026.
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