Unwineding

A conversation for my fellow anxious, perfectionist overthinkers who are really good at holding it all together but have a much harder time slowing down. I'm Unwineding with Therapist Debbie Missud & unpacking the psychology behind high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, and unresolved trauma. We're talking about why we tie our self-worth to productivity, why rest can feel so uncomfortable, the hidden ways trauma can show up in our minds, bodies, and relationships, what functional freeze actually looks like, and how to recognize when your nervous system is overwhelmed. We also get into our need for control, the changing dynamics of female friendships, why being sensitive isn't something you need to fix, and how to start breaking the patterns that keep us stuck. My favorite reminder from this episode, though? Your worth was never something you had to earn. As always, take whatever you need from our conversation and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Thank you so much to AquaTru for sponsoring this week's episode! Head to AquaTru.com and use promo code UNWINEDING to get 20% off your water purifier. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Why do we keep repeating patterns we know aren't good for us, even when we're self-aware enough to recognize them? This week, I'm Unwineding (again) with the incredible Sabrina Zohar to talk about love, dating, self-sabotage, attachment styles, and why understanding yourself is only the beginning of actually changing. We get into overthinking, hyper-independence, emotionally unavailable partners, why almost-relationships hurt so much, how to navigate conflict, and what it really takes to build healthier relationships—with ourselves and others. We're also celebrating Sabrina's new book, Why Am I Like This? A conversation every woman needs to hear. As always, take whatever you need and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Shop Sabrina's new book: Why Am I Like This? SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Just us today for a life update, a big milestone, and a few of the lessons I've learned along the way. Unwineding has a new home (hi Podcast Nation!!!), and it inspired today's conversation on the power of consistency, trusting the process when you're not seeing results, getting comfortable with being seen, and letting go of the timelines we place on ourselves. As always, take whatever you need and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Thank you so much to AquaTru for sponsoring this week's episode! Head to AquaTru.com and use promo code UNWINEDING to get 20% off your purifier. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

What happens when your own brain becomes the thing you’re constantly trying to reason with? This week, I’m Unwineding with therapist and OCD advocate Tara Montazeri for a conversation about what OCD actually looks and feels like—especially when the struggle is happening entirely inside your head. We talk about the cycle of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, compulsions, and temporary relief; why reassurance can actually keep us stuck; the overlap between OCD, ADHD, perfectionism, and overthinking; and what happens when the traits causing you distress are the same ones the world has rewarded you for. Tara also explains why OCD is so obsessed with certainty, how it can show up in dating and friendships, why our thoughts aren't always trustworthy, and how learning to tolerate uncertainty can ultimately become an exercise in trusting yourself. Plus, we get into mental compulsions, relationship OCD, the problem with diagnosing ourselves on TikTok, how to support someone with OCD without accidentally reinforcing the cycle, and why someone can look completely put together while privately fighting a battle you know nothing about. And, as always: this episode is meant to increase awareness and curiosity—not to diagnose yourself, your boyfriend, your situationship, or anyone else in your life, okay???! Take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Thank you so much to AirDoctor for sponsoring this week's episode! Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code UNWINEDINGand get up to $300 off ANY of their select AirDoctor models. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

What happens when you've become so good at taking care of yourself that letting someone else love you feels uncomfortable? This week, I'm Unwineding with psychologist Dr. Suzanne Wallach for a conversation about the psychology of connection: how we build meaningful female friendships as adults, why modern dating feels increasingly complicated, and how to stop letting hyper-independence get in the way of the relationships we actually want. We get into adult friendship breakups, making friends in your late 20s and 30s, dating app fatigue, attachment styles, and why ambitious, independent women can struggle with vulnerability and receiving love. Dr. Wolek also breaks down how childhood experiences and parentification can shape our relationships, why self-awareness alone isn't enough to change our patterns, and how behavioral therapy can help us learn to let people in. Because being capable of doing everything yourself doesn't mean you have to. And you can build a beautiful, independent life while still allowing yourself to be loved, supported, and cared for. As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Female friendship is one of the great loves of our lives—and sometimes one of the most complicated. This week, we're revisiting one of my favorite conversations with Elyse Fox, founder of Sad Girls Club, about making friends as an adult, finding your people, outgrowing friendships that no longer fit, and becoming the kind of friend you want to have. We talk friendship breakups, reciprocity, making the first move with a potential new friend, supporting the people you love through hard seasons, and why some of the best friendships might not come in the packaging you expected. As always, take whatever you need from this episode & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Thank you SO MUCH to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this week's episode. Head to cozyearth.com and treat yourself to your own First Layer set. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Elyse Fox on Instagram follow Sad Girls Club on Instagram follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Female friendship is one of the great loves of our lives—and sometimes one of the most complicated. This week, we're revisiting one of my favorite conversations with Elyse Fox, founder of Sad Girls Club, about making friends as an adult, finding your people, outgrowing friendships that no longer fit, and becoming the kind of friend you want to have. We talk friendship breakups, reciprocity, making the first move with a potential new friend, supporting the people you love through hard seasons, and why some of the best friendships might not come in the packaging you expected. As always, take whatever you need from this episode & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Thank you SO MUCH to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this week's episode. Head to cozyearth.com and treat yourself to your own First Layer set. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Elyse Fox on Instagram follow Sad Girls Club on Instagram follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

I heard you!!! You wanted part two of the law of detachment, and I’m here to deliver. Because understanding detachment in theory is one thing—actually practicing it when you really, really want something is a whole different story. It's just us this week & we’re talking about why overthinking is sometimes just our very convincing attempt to escape uncertainty, what happens when we make an outcome responsible for validating us, and how to want the relationship, career, opportunity, timeline (whatever it is!!) without gripping it for dear life. Plus, the five questions I ask myself when I can feel myself getting a little too attached. I (lowkey) love this episode & hope you do, too. All I want is for you to learn how to trust yourself through anything & everything, that's it. LOVE YOU. x Thank you SO MUCH to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this week's episode. Head to cozyearth.com and treat yourself to your own First Layer set. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I heard you!!! You wanted part two of the law of detachment, and I’m here to deliver. Because understanding detachment in theory is one thing—actually practicing it when you really, really want something is a whole different story. It's just us this week & we’re talking about why overthinking is sometimes just our very convincing attempt to escape uncertainty, what happens when we make an outcome responsible for validating us, and how to want the relationship, career, opportunity, timeline (whatever it is!!) without gripping it for dear life. Plus, the five questions I ask myself when I can feel myself getting a little too attached. I (lowkey) love this episode & hope you do, too. All I want is for you to learn how to trust yourself through anything & everything, that's it. LOVE YOU. x Thank you SO MUCH to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this week's episode. Head to cozyearth.com and treat yourself to your own First Layer set. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Class is in session, ladies—we're Niko Emanuilidis, host of The Daddy Academy, is here with your complete guide to dating in 2026. We’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations this week & we're getting into what actually makes a man want to commit, why dating feels so confusing right now, and how to actually attract the relationship you’ve always wanted. Niko shares what men are truly thinking in the early stages of dating, how to get approached more IRL, and the biggest mistakes women are making. We explore why you attract who you are—and why you might be attracting emotionally unavailable partners (and how to stop). Ultimately, this is your guide to shifting your patterns, dating from a place of true confidence, and raising your standards to attract a healthy, beautiful relationship. We also cover: why men pull away in dating how to know if a man is serious about you masculine vs. feminine energy in dating what your social media says about you (& do guys notice?) tangible ways to get approached in the wild how to shift your mindset to confidently enjoy dating questions you need to ask in early dating how men ultimately decide on a relationship how to attract better partners understanding your preferences vs. dealbreakers Whether you’re dating, single, healing, or in a situationship you’re lowkey tired of explaining, this episode will help you understand dating dynamics and feel more empowered in your choices. As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Niko on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ follow Niko on ⁠TikTok⁠ watch The Daddy Academy on ⁠Youtube⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Class is in session, ladies—we're Niko Emanuilidis, host of The Daddy Academy , is here with your complete guide to dating in 2026. We’re revisiting one of my favorite conversations this week & we're getting into what actually makes a man want to commit, why dating feels so confusing right now, and how to actually attract the relationship you’ve always wanted. Niko shares what men are truly thinking in the early stages of dating, how to get approached more IRL, and the biggest mistakes women are making. We explore why you attract who you are—and why you might be attracting emotionally unavailable partners (and how to stop). Ultimately, this is your guide to shifting your patterns, dating from a place of true confidence, and raising your standards to attract a healthy, beautiful relationship. We also cover: why men pull away in dating how to know if a man is serious about you masculine vs. feminine energy in dating what your social media says about you (& do guys notice?) tangible ways to get approached in the wild how to shift your mindset to confidently enjoy dating questions you need to ask in early dating how men ultimately decide on a relationship how to attract better partners understanding your preferences vs. dealbreakers Whether you’re dating, single, healing, or in a situationship you’re lowkey tired of explaining, this episode will help you understand dating dynamics and feel more empowered in your choices. As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Niko on ⁠ ⁠Instagram⁠⁠ follow Niko on ⁠TikTok⁠ watch The Daddy Academy on ⁠Youtube⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

What if the problem isn’t that you don’t know what you want, but that there’s a gap between what you want and what you repeatedly do? With four months left of the year, consider this our official check-in. Our September reset guide. Not to panic about everything you haven’t accomplished or attempt to reinvent yourself by January 1st, but to get honest about what still matters to you, what doesn’t anymore, and how you actually want to spend the rest of your year. We’re talking about the psychology behind fresh starts, why changing your mind about a goal isn’t the same as giving up, and the difference between relying on motivation and building systems that actually help you follow through (I'm obsessed with systems rn). I’m sharing tangible ways to reassess your goals, turn intentions into repeatable behaviors, use implementation intentions to make action easier, and finally close some of the open loops quietly taking up space in your brain. And because I refuse to let ambition become another reason we postpone our actual lives, we’re also talking about how to make meaningful progress without spending the next four months waiting to finally “arrive.” Four months is actually a long time. Let’s be intentional about what we do with them. As always, take whatever you need from this episode & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the problem isn’t that you don’t know what you want, but that there’s a gap between what you want and what you repeatedly do? With four months left of the year, consider this our official check-in. Our September reset guide. Not to panic about everything you haven’t accomplished or attempt to reinvent yourself by January 1st, but to get honest about what still matters to you, what doesn’t anymore, and how you actually want to spend the rest of your year. We’re talking about the psychology behind fresh starts, why changing your mind about a goal isn’t the same as giving up, and the difference between relying on motivation and building systems that actually help you follow through (I'm obsessed with systems rn). I’m sharing tangible ways to reassess your goals, turn intentions into repeatable behaviors, use implementation intentions to make action easier, and finally close some of the open loops quietly taking up space in your brain. And because I refuse to let ambition become another reason we postpone our actual lives, we’re also talking about how to make meaningful progress without spending the next four months waiting to finally “arrive.” Four months is actually a long time. Let’s be intentional about what we do with them. As always, take whatever you need from this episode & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

You can have plenty of friends and still feel deeply lonely. This week, I’m Unwineding with Dr. Elisabeth Crain to talk about the friendship depth gap: the space between having people in your life and actually feeling deeply known, seen, and connected to them. We’re talking about why adult friendship can feel harder than dating, why the friendships we want often require us to go first, and how vulnerability, consistency, reciprocity, and even a little inconvenience create the kind of soulful friendships so many of us are craving. We also get into friendship jealousy, people-pleasing, friendship breakups, navigating different seasons of life, low-maintenance friendships, and why you don’t need to be a perfect friend to be a really good one. What I really want you to remember from this episode is: maybe you don’t need a bigger circle. Maybe you just need to go a little deeper. But as always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x COME SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Dr. Elisabeth on Instagram connect with Dr. Elisabeth follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can have plenty of friends and still feel deeply lonely. This week, I’m Unwineding with Dr. Elisabeth Crain to talk about the friendship depth gap: the space between having people in your life and actually feeling deeply known, seen, and connected to them. We’re talking about why adult friendship can feel harder than dating, why the friendships we want often require us to go first , and how vulnerability, consistency, reciprocity, and even a little inconvenience create the kind of soulful friendships so many of us are craving. We also get into friendship jealousy, people-pleasing, friendship breakups, navigating different seasons of life, low-maintenance friendships, and why you don’t need to be a perfect friend to be a really good one. What I really want you to remember from this episode is: maybe you don’t need a bigger circle. Maybe you just need to go a little deeper. But as always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x COME SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Dr. Elisabeth on Instagram connect with Dr. Elisabeth follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Sometimes getting what you want starts with loosening your grip on how you think it needs to happen. We’re revisiting a favorite today—all about mastering the law of detachment. We’re talking about what it actually means to detach, why letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring, and how to release your need to control every outcome while still going after what you want (my fellow Capricorn/perfectionist/Type A queens, I'm talking to you).  Whether it’s dating, friendships, your career, social media, or literally anything else, detachment isn’t indifference—it’s caring without clinging. It’s showing up fully, doing what’s in your control, and trusting yourself enough to handle whatever happens next.  Consider this your reminder to stop forcing, loosen your grip, and give life a little more room to surprise you. As always, take whatever you need & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes getting what you want starts with loosening your grip on how you think it needs to happen. We’re revisiting a favorite today—all about mastering the law of detachment. We’re talking about what it actually means to detach, why letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring, and how to release your need to control every outcome while still going after what you want (my fellow Capricorn/perfectionist/Type A queens, I'm talking to you). Whether it’s dating, friendships, your career, social media, or literally anything else, detachment isn’t indifference—it’s caring without clinging . It’s showing up fully, doing what’s in your control, and trusting yourself enough to handle whatever happens next. Consider this your reminder to stop forcing, loosen your grip, and give life a little more room to surprise you. As always, take whatever you need & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

File this episode under: how to be wildly ambitious without postponing your entire life until you "make it." This week, I'm Unwineding with Gaby Ulloa—writer, host, storyteller, and one of those women who leaves you better than she found you. We’re talking about the very real tension between wanting an extraordinary life and actually remembering to LIVE while you’re building it. Gaby opens up about spending years hyper-focused on the next milestone, constantly moving the goalpost, and convincing herself she couldn’t fully celebrate until the “big thing” happened—and what changed when she realized the outcome can’t be the entire point. We get into ambition, perfectionism, self-doubt, overthinking yourself into paralysis, and learning to start before you feel ready. Gaby shares the mindset that helped her stop treating every decision like it could make or break her future, why nobody ever really feels ready for the opportunities they’re given, and the advice from her mom that she still comes back to: people simply choose to rise to the occasion. We also talk about the other side of being a deeply ambitious woman: learning how to actually enjoy the life you’re working so hard to create. How do you chase huge dreams without making your happiness conditional on achieving them? How do you hold the vision while releasing your death grip on exactly how it needs to happen? And at what point does all of our self-improvement, optimization, healing, planning, and preparing actually prevent us from hearing ourselves think (my fellow Capricorns, these questions are for you!!!)? We also get into: • perfectionism, overthinking & taking action before you feel ready • why the biggest self-betrayal might be never letting yourself try • Gaby’s “pearl necklace” mindset for breaking out of paralysis • how to stop constantly moving the goalpost on your own happiness • ambition, self-trust & learning to enjoy the process • holding the vision while releasing the “how” • why there can be such a thing as too much self-improvement • learning to trust your own voice instead of constantly looking for more answers • mentorship & why you always have something to bring to the table • the power of multi-generational female friendships • visibility, confidence & the discomfort of being seen • why actually living your life might make you better at your job • becoming someone your younger self would be proud of & so much more. A conversation I deeply needed and hope you did, too. As always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Gaby on Instagram follow Gaby on TikTok subscribe to Gaby's Substack follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

File this episode under: how to be wildly ambitious without postponing your entire life until you "make it." This week, I'm Unwineding with Gaby Ulloa—writer, host, storyteller, and one of those women who leaves you better than she found you. We’re talking about the very real tension between wanting an extraordinary life and actually remembering to LIVE while you’re building it. Gaby opens up about spending years hyper-focused on the next milestone, constantly moving the goalpost, and convincing herself she couldn’t fully celebrate until the “big thing” happened—and what changed when she realized the outcome can’t be the entire point. We get into ambition, perfectionism, self-doubt, overthinking yourself into paralysis, and learning to start before you feel ready. Gaby shares the mindset that helped her stop treating every decision like it could make or break her future, why nobody ever really feels ready for the opportunities they’re given, and the advice from her mom that she still comes back to: people simply choose to rise to the occasion. We also talk about the other side of being a deeply ambitious woman: learning how to actually enjoy the life you’re working so hard to create. How do you chase huge dreams without making your happiness conditional on achieving them? How do you hold the vision while releasing your death grip on exactly how it needs to happen? And at what point does all of our self-improvement, optimization, healing, planning, and preparing actually prevent us from hearing ourselves think (my fellow Capricorns, these questions are for you!!!)? We also get into: • perfectionism, overthinking & taking action before you feel ready• why the biggest self-betrayal might be never letting yourself try• Gaby’s “pearl necklace” mindset for breaking out of paralysis• how to stop constantly moving the goalpost on your own happiness• ambition, self-trust & learning to enjoy the process• holding the vision while releasing the “how”• why there can be such a thing as too much self-improvement• learning to trust your own voice instead of constantly looking for more answers• mentorship & why you always have something to bring to the table• the power of multi-generational female friendships• visibility, confidence & the discomfort of being seen• why actually living your life might make you better at your job• becoming someone your younger self would be proud of & so much more. A conversation I deeply needed and hope you did, too. As always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Gaby on Instagram follow Gaby on TikTok subscribe to Gaby's Substack follow Lisa on ⁠Substack⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Note to self: your brain can make an incredible argument... and still be completely wrong. If you're analytical, ambitious, self-aware, and constantly trying to grow, your inner critic probably doesn't sound irrational. It sounds thoughtful. It cites evidence. It notices patterns. It builds compelling arguments for why you're behind, not good enough, or should play it safe. And that's EXACTLY what makes it so dangerous. It's just us this week & we're talking about why smart women often have really smart inner critics, how our intelligence gets weaponized against us, and the life-changing realization that intelligence and truth are not the same thing. We also get into:• why your inner critic sounds so convincing• the difference between facts and interpretations• how fear recruits your intelligence to keep you safe• why anxiety loves finding "evidence"• the questions I ask myself when my inner critic takes over• how to stop mistaking eloquence for truth As always, I hope there was something in here you needed. Take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x SAY HI: follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Lisa on Substack follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ subscribe to Unwineding on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ shop Unwineding’s ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠storefront Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices