You Are Not A Frog

If you nod in a meeting, then say what you really think afterwards, this episode is for you. Our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough, so we choose ‘nice’ to keep the peace. Unfortunately, that stores the pain up for later, and it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. In this episode with Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst, co-founders of The Power House and authors of Smart Conflict, we get into how to have the conversation that would actually lighten the load on us - including how to tell a colleague hard truths, and how to repair when you get it wrong. We cover: Nice vs kind - why nice often withholds the information someone needs to do well You and me versus the problem - how to stop a rota or task issue turning into you versus me The Responsibility Trap - why the conflict ends up being between an exhausted consultant and a junior doctor instead of where it belongs High support, high challenge - why a lovely, supportive leader who never challenges can become an accidental arsehole Repair - why one apology is rarely enough, and the small gestures that put most ruptures in relationships right A phrase to open a hard conversation, how to say no to the knock on the door, and permission to go back and try again This episode is for you if... You are a high achiever in a leadership role who has to have the conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. You can deliver bad news to a patient or client, but you freeze when the problem is a colleague you have to see tomorrow. Hard as that is, it makes sense - but it can be different. You are not a frog. You Are Not a Frog — for GPs, hospital doctors and other high-stakes professionals who want to thrive, not just survive. Podcast: You Are Not a Frog with Dr Rachel Morris Email list: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome / Website: https://youarenotafrog.com/ Guests: Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst are co-founders of The Power House and authors of Smart Conflict: How to Have Hard Conversations at Work. Together they train leaders in how to do conflict well, high support, high challenge communication and repair. Team diagnostic tool: https://www.thepowerhouse.company/diagnostics Learn more about The Power House Company: https://www.thepowerhouse.company/ Read Smart Conflict®: https://mybook.to/SmartConflict Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 Join the How to Have Difficult Conversations at Work Masterclass ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

If you’ve ever plucked up the courage to have ‘that’ conversation, and planned it carefully so that you can be kind and clear - but two minutes in, it goes south - you’ll know what it feels like when their face changes, your chest gets tight, and suddenly you're both defensive and you’re both feeling got at. This replay from January 2025 is part of our season on conflict and difficult conversations, re-released while I'm in the middle of writing my book How to Say No When Someone Might Die . I keep coming back to it because it names the exact moment the conversations tip and we go ‘over the net’ – a concept Carol Rubin and David Bradford talk about in their book ‘Connect’. It's nuanced, but once you see it, you can't unsee it. There is a certain thing we do that triggers defensiveness in them, and a certain thing they do that triggers it in us. You will hear why assuming you know what the other person intends can be devastating, and how our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough. Learn how one tiny change in language - staying with what you saw and the story in your head, instead of what you decided they meant - may help you carry a patient or client complaint, an official grievance or being criticised by your team differently. Because if you don't spot it, it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. We cover: Why we can suddenly click into defensiveness two minutes into a careful conversation What going ‘over the net’ means - and the three things to watch out for in every conversation Why being misunderstood feels like such a threat to high achievers The exact language swap: from "I felt dismissed" to "the story in my head was..." How to find your highest intention - what's in it for them AND for you Why assuming good intent creates safety to hear hard things Ditch the final third: say it kindly, then stop and listen Curious questions that keep you on your side of the net This episode is for you if... you are a high achiever in a high-stakes role like medicine who has to have the conversation nobody else will, who has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. If you leave difficult conversations thinking I'm not cut out to be the senior one who has to do the hard things, maybe I'm not good enough - this one may help you see what's actually happening. Concepts in this episode from Connect by David Bradford and Carole Robin. More from You Are Not a Frog : The podcast — available wherever you listen FrogFest — our conference on workload and thriving at work. Click here to learn more . Email list — 20,000 high achievers get the weekly Pearl. Click here to join the list . Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

Have you ever lain awake replaying a conversation with a tricky colleague, wondering if you were the one completely out of order? If you're a high achiever in a leadership role, you know the dilemma - you don't want to be the bad guy, so you avoid the awkward chat, pick up everyone else's slack, and say yes when you mean no. Then it leaks out at the worst possible moment. In this fun episode I play Am I the A**hole? with Leanne and Al Elliott from Truth, Lies and Work. I read out workplace dilemmas and they give their verdicts - the nurse who keeps leaving early, the WhatsApp Work group from hell, the dreaded "can I have a quick word?", Gary the people-pleasing team leader, and yes, someone watching rather dodgy videos on a train. You'll come away with the exact words to use when you need to raise something, why "no, and..." beats a plain no, and why your job as a leader is not to be nice, it's to be clear. You'll also meet a new species we name in the episode: the accidental arsehole - where our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough, so we duck the conversation and it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. Fair warning: fruity language in this one, so maybe not for the school run. And all scenarios are made up and stitched together from training stories - none is about anyone specific. Even if you've definitely got a Greta. We cover: Am I the a**hole? How the game exposes why caring leaders duck hard chats The colleague who leaves early: the exact curious words to open a difficult conversation without judgment The WhatsApp group row: why it's on you to set your boundary Gary the people-pleaser: Drama Triangle, rescuing, and the MoSCoW way to hand work back before leave "Heard, held or helped?", "no, and..." and "I can't now, but I can at..." - phrases that make saying no doable The accidental arsehole: how avoidance, not harshness, creates most workplace conflict This episode is for you if... you are a high achiever in a high stakes leadership role who has to have the conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. If you say yes when you mean no and then feel resentful after, this will help you see what's actually happening and carry it differently. You are not a frog. Guests: Leanne Elliott and Al Elliott host the Truth, Lies and Work podcast - weekly conversations about work psychology, leadership and tricky team dynamics. More from You Are Not a Frog: The podcast — available wherever you listen FrogFest — our conference on workload and thriving at work. Click here to learn more . Email list — 20,000 high achievers get the weekly Pearl. Click here to join the list . Mentioned in this episode: Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed... or Burning Out? Get honest with yourself — discover what’s really going on, and what to do next. ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

Have you ever felt ashamed or frustrated that you didn't know the answer? Not to a clinical question, but about your own life - what's next, what's wrong, why you feel the way you do? If you're the one everyone relies on, not knowing can feel like failing at the one thing you're supposed to be good at. This is a replay from 2024 I'm bringing back while I’m writing my book ‘How to Say No When Someone Might Die’. One of the things I keep coming back to in the book is how much of the load we carry isn't about the work at all. It's our ingrained programming that tells us we have to have the answer to feel good enough. And when we don't, it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. In this episode we revisit what to do when the furniture is shifting, and why wait and see can be a strategy. We cover: Why high achievers feel shame when they don't know what's next Shifting furniture - what to do when life is reconfiguring and you can't see where things will land Your left brain interpreter - and why it makes up catastrophic stories to feel safe Zone of Power - what is actually yours to carry, and what isn't Why wait and see is a valid, proactive strategy, not avoidance The next best action when you feel discombobulated This episode is for you if... you are a doctor or professional, a high achiever in a leadership role who has to have the difficult conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. If not knowing feels like not being good enough, this one is for you. You are not a frog. Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 Beat Stress & Thrive | Live Cohort Starts 13 October

You may think you're fine. You're still performing well at work, still the one people rely on, yet you know something's off. In this episode - a replay of one of my most important conversations from 2025, I share the question that changed how I think about burnout: What are you borrowing from your life to keep your work looking fine? For many of us, our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough, so we protect our work and borrow energy from the rest of our life to do it. We look totally fine on the outside. Inside, the walls are standing but there's nothing left. I’m chatting with Dr Richard Duggins NHS Psychiatrist and Author of ‘Burnout Free Working’ about why high achievers stay high-performing right up util they burn out, what radiators and drains have to do with it, and what Richard calls the burnout cliff - where one small trigger takes you by surprise. If you go back into the same way of working, carrying the same load in the same way, it will affect your next decision, and the one after that. This is about burnout not as a personal failing, but as a change in the balance of your energy. We cover: Why your performance can stay high while the rest of your life shrinks Borrowing energy from home, fun, and rest to protect work Radiators and drains - work intensity, home pressures and culture The burnout cliff and the plateau before it Early signs - poor sleep, irritability, detachment, loss of joy What may help you carry it differently without going back over the edge This episode is for you if... you are a high achiever in a leadership role who has to have the conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. A doctor or professional who looks capable to everyone else but feels depleted when you get home. You do not need to collapse to prove you were struggling. Get weekly tools and episode notes by email: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome More resources: https://youarenotafrog.com/ Burnout Self-Assessment Toolkit: https://youarenotafrog.com/toolkit/ Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 Beat Stress & Thrive | Live Cohort Starts 13 October The Overwhelm SOS Toolkit Stop the overwhelm and get back on track, without dropping balls or quitting.

You tell yourself that never letting anyone down is how you protect the people you love. But our ingrained programming tells us we have to please everyone all the time to feel good enough - and the people you love are the people who suffer most when you're stuck in the Responsibility Trap. They get the tired, thin version of you. If you lie awake worried you've upset someone, or feel guilty for saying no to something small like a dinner you can't make until November, this 20-minute Quick Dip will show you why that guilt isn't telling the truth, and what changes when you let the load go back to whose it actually was. We cover: The November dinner — and why answering honestly can feel like a failing Why for us a request arrives as an obligation with our name on it What over 600 professionals told us about lying awake worried they've upset someone The identity underneath it: I'm not the sort of person who lets people down What that identity costs at home and at work The village cricket team — guilt for saying no to a sport I don't even like The question that proves you already let people down every day — and the world kept turning If I'm not the woman who never lets anyone down, then who am I? And who says? What happens at home and at work when you stop carrying it all — including the reception team who stopped asking her first Two futures — and phrases to reach for when the guilt fires This episode is for you if... you are a high achiever in a leadership role who has to have the conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, and lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. You are the one who copes, steps up, notices what needs doing — and you feel guilty even doing the work that matters most. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

Do you lie awake replaying a decision you had to make? That work anxiety loop where you can't stop thinking about work even when you are home? Maybe you've told yourself burnout is just the occupational hazard of this job. You've tried to put things in place — to leave on time, to say no more often — and you just can't seem to hold them. What if you are solving the wrong problem? It's not a work stress problem, but an identity one. Our ingrained programming tells us we have to tie who we are to how we perform to feel good enough, so when work dips, we dip. That pattern will affect your next decision, and the one after that. In this conversation we put clean language on what keeps you fused to work, and what real burnout recovery has to start with instead. I spoke to Nick Petrie, author of Burn Bright, about why the usual advice has not touched it for you, and what may help you carry it differently. We cover: Why burnout can feel like an occupational hazard — and why you may be solving the wrong problem What happens when you fuse your identity with work — you don't have a job, you are the job What he calls the Karman Line — the deliberate slow down between work and home that stops you crash landing Uncontrolled re-entry — why you walk through your own front door still in work mode Rumination vs reflection — why a patient or client complaint stays with you when you are emotionally fused to it Perform mode vs grow mode — why staying too long in perform mode leaves you exhausted. And bored. How to get more comfortable disappointing people you care about — and why that matters for recovery This episode is for you if... You are a doctor, senior healthcare professional or high achiever in a leadership role - someone who has to have the conversation nobody else will, who has to make the call someone will disagree with, who lies awake replaying a decision you had to make. If you have ever thought, what is wrong with me, why can I not cope, maybe I am not good enough — this episode is for you. Nick Petrie is a leadership coach, Burnout Researcher and author of Burn Bright. In this interview he shares practical ideas from working with high performers on identity, boundaries, and getting out of perform mode. Listen to You Are Not a Frog wherever you get your podcasts. For workshop and event details, see the links on the channel page. Get more episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra Mentioned in this episode: 🐸 Enquire Now About Our Training 🟦 [FREE WEBINAR] How to Beat Burnout and Escape Burnout on Repeat

Note: This is a re-release of one of our most-listened to episodes — originally recorded Autumn 2025. We've given it a new edit because it's more relevant than ever. If you know you need to do something about how you're feeling — but you keep telling yourself "not yet" — this is for you. We are very good at spotting danger in other people. Sepsis, red flags, a patient or client deteriorating. We act fast. With ourselves, we don't. We wait until it becomes catastrophic — a patient or client complaint, an error because our brain isn't working properly, our health going — before we give ourselves permission to act. This episode is about why doing nothing feels safer, why it isn't, and how to make the next step small enough you can actually take it. Not handing in your notice. One doable thing. Download the free Burnout Self-Assessment Toolkit — work through it as you listen: https://youarenotafrog.com/toolkit/ We cover: • Why we spot burnout and overwhelm in everyone else but not in ourselves • The three psychological traps that keep high achievers stuck: status quo bias, loss aversion, and sunk cost — including the thought "I've given 10 or 20 years to this, I can't stop now" • Why our ingrained programming tells us the misery we know is safer than the uncertainty we don't — and how that will affect your next decision, and the one after that • Why waiting has a cost too — your health, your relationships, your character — and why that cost keeps going up and can be devastating • How to decide your line before burnout decides it for you — your "kill criteria" — so you don't wait for catastrophe • How to make the next step small enough you can actually take it: one conversation you've been avoiding, one boundary, one phone call to a trusted person — shame shrinks when you speak it This episode is for you if you are a high achiever in a leadership role who has to have the conversation nobody else will, has to make the call someone disagrees with, or lies awake replaying a decision you had to make — and you can feel the heat building, but you keep telling yourself to keep going. Hosted by Rachel Morris | You Are Not a Frog - for high achievers who want to care deeply and carry less. Get weekly tools and episode notes by email: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome More resources: https://youarenotafrog.com/ Burnout Self-Assessment Toolkit: https://youarenotafrog.com/toolkit/ #burnout #burnoutrecovery #highachievers Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 [FREE WEBINAR] How to Beat Burnout and Escape Burnout on Repeat

Every high-achieving leader has a to-do list that doesn't end — it just refills. And the only response most of us were ever handed for that is push harder. Grip tighter. Muscle through. In this episode, Rachel talks to Ellen Coomber, co-founder of the Softness Revolution, about why that instinct — the one we were trained into from exams onward — stops working, and what she does instead. Ellen has a genetics degree from Cambridge; she is not someone who arrived at this by avoiding rigour. She arrived at it because pushing harder had genuinely stopped working, and she had to find something else. This conversation is about that something else: working with less effort, not more, and learning to tell the difference between an instinct worth trusting and fear wearing an instinct's clothes. Getting that distinction wrong is how we end up saying yes to the thing that breaks us, and it will affect the next decision too, and the one after that. We cover: Why "work harder" is the only tool most high achievers were ever handed for pressure — and where that training actually started The Softness Revolution: what "soft" means when it isn't the opposite of capable What solo-sailing a 40-foot boat taught Ellen about the difference between soft and weak What horses know about force that most leadership training never mentions How to tell your actual instinct apart from fear when they feel identical Why more effort is not always the effective option, and what to do with the effort you're not using This episode is for you if... ...you're looking at a to-do list that never actually shrinks, and your automatic response is to push harder, focus more, try again — even though that's the exact same plan you had last week, and the week before. If some part of you already suspects that working harder isn't the answer but you don't yet have a working alternative, or a language for it, this one's for you. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members 🐸 Learn more about Ellen: https://thepowerofsoftness.com Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 Permission to Thrive ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

Nearly one in three people who take time off for burnout are off again within a year - and over half of them work in healthcare. This episode is about why that keeps happening, and it isn't because anyone's weak. You go back to the same poisoned water, you carry the same responsibility you carried before, and now there's something extra on top of it - a shame tax, the pressure to prove you're fine, to prove the time off wasn't a mark against you. Rachel walks through the Bent Tent Pole - why the same load bends you faster the second time round - and makes the case that the fix was never more resilience. It's changing what you believe is actually yours to carry. We cover: Why nearly 3 in 10 people relapse into burnout within a year of returning The poisoned water analogy - why rest alone can't fix a toxic system Why dropping hours or changing roles often doesn't touch the real problem The Responsibility Trap: picking up what everyone else drops The Bent Tent Pole - why the same weight bends you faster the second time The Shame Tax: the extra load you carry just for having needed the break Why waiting for the system to fix itself keeps you stuck The Performance Zone - what boundaries actually look like in practice This episode is for you if... You're a high achiever in a leadership role who's been back at work for a while now and can feel it building again - the same tightness, the same countdown to the next break. You're the one who has to pick up what someone else dropped, who has to say yes because no one else has the whole picture, who lies awake replaying whether you're actually cut out for this. Hard as that is to admit, it's not a character flaw. It's physics, and there's a different way to carry it. The tent pole bent because of the load, not because you were weak. You can do the work without being responsible for all of it. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

There's a project you've been meaning to start, a conversation you've been meaning to have, or a change you've been meaning to make. You know that you can do it, but what you can't quite find is the moment, the time, or the right conditions…and so it waits. Robbie Swale is a coach and author who has spent years thinking about why capable, intelligent, hard-working people don't start the things they most want to do, and what it takes to change that. In this conversation, we explore the idea that the problem isn't time; it never really was. We cover: The 12 Minute Method: how Robbie wrote 80,000 words in three years by dedicating twelve minutes a week, and why that's not as absurd as it sounds Why time management is largely choice management, and what that means for the things you keep deprioritising Why the internet makes it harder to start, and how to stop comparing your beginning to someone else's middle How to protect a new idea before it's ready to be criticised How to approach a big change without betting everything on it going right the first time This episode is for you if you are the person who does the hard things, who shows up and delivers, but who also has that specific project or version of your life that keeps moving slightly out of reach. This episode may give you a slightly different question about what's actually in your way. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed... or Burning Out? Get honest with yourself — discover what’s really going on, and what to do next.

Most of us were taught that having limits is a weakness - something to push through, not something to honour. And if you're a doctor, a nurse, a vet, or anyone in a high-stakes role, that message arrived early and arrived hard. The result is a profession full of people operating at full stretch capacity without realising it, because full stretch became the new normal so gradually that we stopped noticing. In this conversation with Sarah Coope - former GP, CEO of Wild Monday, and executive coach - we explore what happens when we stop thinking about limits altogether, and start thinking about capacity instead. We cover: Why the word "limits" triggers guilt, and what happens when you replace it with "capacity" The TEAM model: Time, Energy, Attention, and Money - the four dimensions of our capacity, and why overstretching one always costs you somewhere else The elastic band analogy: what it looks like when one corner of your square gets pulled too far, and what it takes to come back Why operating at the edge of burnout can blunt your awareness of how stretched you really are Micro-recovery and third spaces: small, practical ways to build recovery into a day that leaves no room for it "Guilt with an i" - why the discomfort of saying no isn't a sign you're doing something wrong. It may be a sign you're doing something right for the first time How to communicate your capacity to colleagues and managers without apologising for being human This episode is for you if you know intellectually that you can't keep running this hard, but the alternative feels selfish, or like letting people down, or just not who you are. It may help you understand why what you call a "limit" is actually something worth knowing about yourself, and why caring for your own capacity is not the opposite of caring for your patients or clients - it may be the condition for it. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members About Sarah Coope: Sarah Coope is a former GP, medical educator, and executive coach who works with healthcare professionals and high achievers on burnout, resilience, and sustainable performance. Her own experience of burnout is what drives her work - she coaches from the inside, not from above Mentioned in this episode: Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed... or Burning Out? Get honest with yourself — discover what’s really going on, and what to do next. ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

Most of us have been told that burnout is caused by overwork and that the solution is to rest, take a break or slow down. Set some boundaries. But what if that's only part of the picture? What if the very thing that made you good at your job - your values, your drive, your commitment to never letting anyone down - is exactly what keeps burning you out? And what if rest, on its own, isn't enough to get you out? In this conversation with Nick Petrie, author, leadership researcher and burnout specialist, we go deeper than the usual burnout conversation. Nick has interviewed hundreds of leaders across high-stakes professions, and his findings challenge almost everything we think we know about why burnout happens and what recovery actually requires. We cover: Why high values alignment is a burnout risk , not a protection - and why caring deeply about your work can mean you have no brake The "outdated success formula" - the beliefs and behaviours that got you here, and why they stop working as the stakes get higher The burnout curve: first, second, and third degree - and how to recognise which stage you're at before your body decides for you The 1-1-1 mechanism: a simple, pre-scheduled way to build recovery into a life that otherwise never stops What post-burnout growth actually looks like, and why the version of you on the other side of burnout can be more sustainable than the one before it This episode is for you if the drive that makes you good at what you do is also the thing that makes it impossible to stop. This episode may help you understand why our ingrained programming - the one that says delivering, caring, and never letting people down is what makes us safe - is something we can actually look at and decide whether to keep. 📩 Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members/ 💬 Join the conversation: share this with someone who needs to hear it Mentioned in this episode: Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed... or Burning Out? Get honest with yourself — discover what’s really going on, and what to do next. ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

Every doctor and high-achieving professional knows what it feels like to lie awake with a brain that refuses to stop - replaying a decision made that afternoon, running tomorrow's list at midnight, scanning ahead for what might go wrong. Our ingrained programming tells us that more thinking keeps us safe and keeps things running. But there is a cost to that, and our analytical brains (the very thing that makes us good at our jobs) may be the reason we can't rest. In this conversation with Giles Croft, former NHS surgeon and coach, we explore what happens when the brain's analytical, planning, threat-scanning part takes over completely - and what your right brain already knows how to do that most of us have never been properly introduced to. We cover: The difference between left-brain and right-brain consciousness, and why doctors and high achievers are trained to default to the analytical mode Giles's own experience of a TIA - and what the temporary loss of his left brain revealed about the default state that sits underneath all the thinking Why "just stop overthinking" is advice that doesn't reach the actual problem How the brain "pre-lives" the future, and why this feels like vigilance but functions like anxiety What it actually feels like to step out of left-brain dominance - and the small, practical ways to do it Why our default state is not stress - it only feels that way because we've been away from calm for a long time This episode is for you if you lie awake replaying a conversation with a colleague, a patient or a client; if you find yourself planning three weeks ahead on a Sunday evening, or even on holiday, your mind is running its usual commentary. What we discuss may help you understand what is really beneath all that noise, and whether the calm you're looking for has been there the whole time. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members About Giles Croft: Giles is a former NHS surgeon and coach who works with individuals and organisations on the human experience of work. His firsthand encounter with a transient ischaemic attack gave him a unique, embodied understanding of how the brain's different modes of consciousness shape our wellbeing. He helps people understand how they are experiencing the world - and who they really are. Find Giles at https://www.gilespcroft.com/ . Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed... or Burning Out? Get honest with yourself — discover what’s really going on, and what to do next.

Boundaries aren't walls. They're fences. A wall keeps everyone out. A fence has a gate, and it's yours to open or close, if you're willing to hold it when someone pushes. That idea comes from this conversation with Dr Sarah Coope, recorded for the Your Coaching Journey podcast. Sarah talks about her own route into coaching, what twenty years of coaching doctors has taught her about self-worth, and why so many of us try to fix things that were never ours to fix. In this episode: How a magazine advert led Sarah to her first coaching session, and the moment she realised she had different values to the people around her "Fruit stapling" — Sarah's analogy for behaviour change that skips the real work underneath Why boundaries are fences, not walls, and what actually gets in the way of holding them The difference between being a rescuer and being a coach, and what it costs doctors to be the former Why Sarah tells every doctor thinking about a coaching qualification: "it starts with you" Sarah Coope is a former GP, leadership coach and mediator who leads the training behind the podcast. Helen Leathers is a Coach, Trainer and Facilitator for Your Coaching Journey - an organisation providing transformational coaching training for doctors. Find out more about their upcoming courses here and use the code FROGSPAWN to get 20% off a live coaching course. NOTE: We're affiliate partners with Your Coaching Journey, which means we get a small commission if you use our code. We wouldn't pass this on if we didn't think it was genuinely worth it Mentioned in this episode: Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed... or Burning Out? Get honest with yourself — discover what’s really going on, and what to do next. ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

There is one belief that keeps high achievers stuck in burnout long after they should be recovering - the belief that burning out means they failed. This is a live panel discussion from the Burnout Free Working Conference — an unscripted conversation about what burnout recovery actually requires, why the self-blame makes it impossible to start, and the single reframe that changes how you see every struggling colleague, including yourself. We cover: Why burnout is not a personal failing — and what the evidence actually says about where it starts The clinical difference between burnout and depression, and why the label matters less than most people think Why asking struggling colleagues to "reach out" puts the burden in exactly the wrong place - and what "reaching in" looks like instead The shift from "difficult colleague" to "colleague in difficulty" - and why that single reframe changes how you respond What the fear of saying no looks like versus what actually happens when you do Why bearing witness, without trying to fix, is itself a genuine intervention What burnout recovery actually requires — and why it can't start until the self-blame does This episode is for you if… You're a high achiever in a high-stakes role who has started to wonder whether the exhaustion you're carrying is something more than tiredness - or whether the reason you can't seem to recover is that somewhere, underneath the fatigue, you've decided the burnout was your fault. This conversation will give you permission to put down the belief that you’ve been carrying, and the language to start again. About Dr Richard Duggins Dr Richard Duggins is a consultant psychiatrist in medical psychotherapy and the author of Burnout Free Working . He has spent his career working with clinicians and high achievers in burnout - exploring not just the exhaustion, but the shame and self-blame that makes recovery so much harder. Get Richard’s book here: Burnout-Free Working: Your Expert Guide to Thriving in a Stressful Workplace . About Dr Chris Turner Dr Chris Turner is an emergency medicine consultant, co-founder of Civility Saves Lives, and a TEDx speaker whose work on culture, behaviour, and psychological safety in healthcare has reached hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Learn more about Chris’s work with Civility Saves Lives here: https://www.civilitysaveslives.com/ 📩 Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members/ 💬 Join the conversation: share this with someone who needs to hear it Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now 🟦 Permission to Thrive

There's something most leaders do - we avoid the conversation that needs to be had. We care too much about the wrong things: how the other person will react, whether it will make things awkward, whether we'll be the one blamed if they go off sick. Our ingrained programming tells us that keeping the peace is the same as keeping the relationship, but it isn't. In this episode, Joe Weston is back for round two to explain why conflict avoidance - the silence, the corridor moaning, the feedback we give and immediately want to apologise for - is itself a form of conflict. And what it actually sounds like to hold someone accountable without becoming someone you don't like. We cover: Why avoiding difficult conversations feels kind but functions as a form of conflict The difference between confrontation (which can deepen a relationship) and conflict (which breaks one) How to hold someone accountable without triggering their fight-flight-freeze response Why focusing on behaviour — not the person — changes everything, and exactly what to say instead The "difficult middle bit": what to do when someone gets defensive, and you want to back down Why doctors, nurses, vets, and other professionals already have the skills for hard conversations — just not yet with their colleagues How small, intentional acts of relationship-building change the culture around accountability over time This episode is for you if... you're a senior manager, doctor, nurse, vet, dentist, or any high-achieving leader who has rehearsed the conversation in your head, convinced yourself it wasn't the right moment, and watched the problem get worse instead. You know something needs to be said. You just haven't found the version of yourself that can say it yet. This episode may help. 📩 Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members/ 💬 Join the conversation: share this with someone who needs to hear it Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now 🟦 Permission to Thrive

A doctor emailed me recently, she's been in medicine for 25 years, and the question she asked was one I've heard in a hundred different ways: "Am I a snowflake?" She felt a great deal of shame about finding things hard - something I see time and time again in high achievers. Like the feeling that not coping is proof of something wrong with you. A character flaw. A sign you've gone soft. But the data tells a different story. In a survey we did of over 600 health and social care professionals, nearly one in three worried about whether they or their team would cope with rising workloads. One in three. That's not a snowflake problem - that's a system problem. In this Quick Dip, I unpack why the shame about not coping is often more damaging than not coping itself. Why our ingrained programming tells us that we have to cope with everything, all the time, to feel good enough. And why protecting the appearance of coping - keeping the show on the road at all costs - will cost you more than any boundary ever could. We cover: • The "Am I a Snowflake?" question and what it really means • Why not coping is a sign of an empty tank, not a character flaw • The Superhero Delusion and how it keeps you trapped • Biscuit Boundaries and the Responsibility Trap • Why shame thrives when you believe you're the only one struggling • The stress curve and what it reveals about your limits • Why conflict feels more frightening than burnout for high achievers • The two stories of not coping - and which one costs you more This episode is for you if you've ever wondered whether you're the weak one. If you've been holding it together at work while feeling like you're falling apart underneath. If you've told yourself you just need to be more resilient, push harder, cope better - and it isn't working. You are not a snowflake. You never were. 📩 Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members/ 💬 Join the conversation: share this with someone who needs to hear it Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

When Aoife O'Brien is close to burnout, she doesn't want to stop. She wants to do more. One more task. One more thing to get through before she can stop. She says that's how she knows now - not the exhaustion, not the breaking point, but the acceleration. If you recognise that feeling, this conversation names what's actually happening. Not to add to your list. To give you a cleaner way to read what your own system is telling you. We cover: Why the urge to do more work is a signal, not a coping strategy Imposter syndrome as a systemic trap - the beliefs you're swimming in so completely you don't know they're there The difference between burnout symptoms and burnout drivers What happens when a leader decides to go home on time - and what that single act does to the people around them How to start reading what your system is actually telling you This episode is for you if you've been telling yourself you're coping fine - and some part of you knows that story is getting harder to believe. If you're a high achiever in a demanding role who has always mistaken acceleration for resilience. If you've never stopped to ask what the urge to just keep going is actually telling you. 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members/ Aoife can be found here: https://www.instagram.com/happieratwork.ie/ https://happieratwork.ie/happier-at-work-podcast/ https://thrivingtalentbook.com/ Mentioned in this episode: 🟦 Permission to Thrive ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now

You may have been counting down to summer all year, telling yourself that you just need to survive until your next holiday. You may have been looking forward to taking a pause and getting a chance to finally breathe. But when you get to your holiday, instead of feeling rested, you feel more exhausted, more overwhelmed, and more behind. And somewhere underneath the busyness, you might be thinking: what's wrong with me? Everyone else seems fine. Nothing is wrong with you - you just fell into the summer Urgency Trap - one of the seven Overwhelm Amplifiers that keeps high achievers stuck in the Responsibility Trap. In this episode, we break down exactly why summer increases pressure instead of relieving it, why you end up covering everyone else's work while your own recovery gets sacrificed, and the one practical shift that changes everything: time-blocking your rest as if it were as important as your most urgent patient or client. We cover: The Urgency Trap: how "urgent but not important" tasks hijack your recovery The long-term fix (the Responsibility Trap) vs. the quick fix you can start today How to time-block rest, recovery, and buffer slots into your diary - and treat them as non-negotiable 📩 Join 20,000 professionals: https://youarenotafrog.com/welcome/ 🐸 Get exclusive episodes and resources by joining FrogXtra: https://youarenotafrog.com/members Mentioned in this episode: ⭐️ Book Your FrogFest Ticket Now