Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Five very impressive large molded dolphins. We have one last stop on our tour... Nashville!! Buy tickets at beachtoosandy.com Shop now at fabletics.com/beach to get 70–80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH . Go to sequencing.com and use promo code BEACH for 10% off. Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

I'm going to bury you with your comrades. We're on tour! Get your tickets for our remaining Louisville & Nashville shows at beachtoosandy.com Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life! Join the millions of customers who trust HomeServe. For 50% less your first year, go to homeserve.com/bts . Get $25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com/beach . Dipsea is giving our listeners their first week free and then 25% off after that, when you sign up at dipseastories.com/beach . Book a complimentary financial planning call with an Arca advisor at arcawealth.com/beach . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Does your eggplant come with skin? Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY . Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com . Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club. Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY . See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear. Listen to Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? And Other Crimes wherever you get your podcasts and visit whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com for more! For a limited time our listeners are getting a free full sized Mascara on their first purchase when they head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over $65. Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach . Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

A belly full of white dog turds. Right now, Fi is offering my listeners up to 30% off and free shipping when you visit fitracking.com and enter promo code BEACH. “Treat, don’t trick, your teeth this month and go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

I hate when they put wang in my food. Follow Michelle on Instagram at @michcoll or @The Michelle Collins Show We're going on tour! Buy tickets at https://www.beachtoosandy.com/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Just a bunch of angry elves. Support Smoking Werewolf Productions here: https://gofund.me/5766bf50d See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

R-r-r-r-remix See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Anything that contains and can contain is contained within the container. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Even Kazoo people use toothpaste. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Two people wanted to vomit and no one did. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

If they don't care about ducks, they don't care about you either. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

How do you think shoes feel about being entered by feet? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

A cucumber is not an avocado. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Statistically speaking you're probably no longer a listener. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

This stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Nothing about carrots makes me think bougie See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .

Soggy White Bread was my nickname in high school. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info .