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Published by Hannah Berner and Des Bishop
The Berner Phone hotline is open! Comedian Des Bishop and special guests are listening to callers, dishing out their best advice, and being hilariously inspired by our dialer's contributions. Keep an eye out on Des's Instagram stories for prompts to leave a voice message and be featured on the pod. Whether it's pet peeves, secrets, life advice, dating dilemmas, or career questions Des and his comedian friends are dialed in. Dial in to the Berner Phone Hotline (917) 512-1758 or WhatsApp +1 (646) 423-7020 for the international dialers
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This week, Des decides whether or not the Dialers were neglected as children. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA / GOING TO YOUR RELIGIOUS FRIEND'S HOUSE Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Des revisits some classic celebrity rumors and reacts to "the incidents" at your high schools. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA & MORE CELEB RUMORS! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Des is joined by guest and newlywed Kelsey Cook to discuss wedding traditions that need to end. Watch Kelsey's new special HAPPY HOUR on Netflix! FOLLOW KELSEY: Tickets: https://punchup.live/kelseycook/tour Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseycookcomedy/ Pretend Problems Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pretend-problems/id1717496693 Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des the non-believer reacts to your ghost stories. Give us some prompt suggestions in the comments! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
It's finally here - the Yesteryear episode. What book should we read next? Let us know in the comments! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Today, Des reacts to what's bugging the Dialers, plus some leftover call-ins from the past couple weeks. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: GHOST STORIES! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des reacts to the weird things your families did that you thought were completely normal until you found out not everyone's family did them. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Today Des reacts to things you used to judge people for but don't anymore, like being a Karen, children crying in public, and counting a pregnancy in weeks. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des reacts to the Dialers' least favorite mispronounced words. We'll do another one of these episodes in the future - call in and comment below with more words! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
What do you do today that you think your teenage self would be embarrassed by? A few Dialers offer birdwatching, wearing granny panties, and gardening. Let us know in the comments what your teenage self would be embarrassed by! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Today, Des reacts to all the sounds that annoy the Dialers, like garbage trucks, kids coughing, and ASMR. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Today Des listens to your creative insults and some more things you believed as kids. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Des reacts to silly things the Dialers believed as kids, like getting arrested for turning on the lights in the car and watermelon seeds growing in your stomach. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des is solo and responding to the Dialers' biggest complaints about 2026 so far. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des records solo from an undisclosed location and listens to voicemails about the funniest things people have said during sex. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des listens to voicemails from Dialers who wish they grew up in a different generation. From club culture and technology to roller skating and funeral etiquette, Des explores what makes people long for another era. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
This week, Des listens to voicemails about the strangest things people collect. From animal bones and troll dolls to rosary beads and matchboxes, the Dialers call in to share the unique collections they've built over the years. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Surprise! It's a bonus episode! Dr. Elizabeth Kazarian joins Des to discuss GLP-1s, medical misinformation, and the overlap between politics and alternative health. Dr. Kazarian also shares insights on menopause and testosterone therapy, concerns about the peptide craze, and her hopes for expanded stem cell research. FOLLOW DR. K: https://www.instagram.com/drkazarian/ Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Des is solo this week, listening to voicemails answering the question: "What was normal in your childhood that's illegal today?" From leaving kids in the car and bringing them into bars to getting a bar of soap in your mouth for cursing, Des reacts to the Dialers' nostalgic stories from a very different time. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
Des is solo this week, giving advice to the Dialers on everything from how to handle a straight man making too many gay jokes to whether you should bring a gift to a destination wedding. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
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Observed September 20, 2026.
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