The Slaptail Squad

Members of the Great Slaptail Nation, Welcome back. Or, if you're brand new and you've stumbled your way here, welcome.We want to thank each and every one of you for everyone for listening— you've endured our questionable decisions, Beaveman's Not So Grand Rounds, JD's Monsters Lair, Nolan's Weird History, Drippy Steve's unnecessary oversharing, Swan's terrible jokes, and conversations that somehow keep getting recorded. We've survived aliens, bodily fluids, bizarre medical conditions, questionable life choices, and whatever the hell happened in the last season. And we're back bringing you even more this season!!! It's the premier of Season 8 and the "Squad" unites! Beaveman decides to determine the order of segments with a brief bout of Rock, Paper, Scissors. It goes as about as well as you think it would. Between Steven trying to change the structure of the show and our resident Dark Lord unsurprisingly choosing the left hand path and cheating his way through it, it's a surprise they came to any decisions at all. Oh well, that's what happens when you get a bunch of idiots to compete with each other. Nolan gets us started with the weird history of doctors washing their hands. It doesn't end well for the man who originally made the suggestion. JD cheats his way to an opportunity of being able to drag us into The Monster's Lair where news of an ancient tree's death leads us down a rabbit hole the size of a forest. Swan gives us a "very interesting" segment about this week's Featured Piece of Sh1+. Next we get Beaveman's Not So Ground Rounds about a dark, little, furry creature and no it's not his pen1$. This Season, Not So Grand Rounds will be a series of stories surrounding the same subject. Listen to find out what! Finally as always, Swan pummels us with awful jokes. This time around, her jokes, if you can even call them that, take on a distinctly Canadian tone. It's Season 8 of The Slaptail Squad! Buckle up and get ready because here we go again... because we know what it means to walk the lonely street of dreams... As long as those dreams involve Money. Sex. Power. Support the show in the new season and beyond https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Scientists study the sand of D-Day beaches 80 + years after the Normandy invasion, the French coastlines where battles occurred, are "bleeding metal." After another 100 years or so, the wounds of the D-Day beaches will be fully healed, unlike the wounds of human war history and the ones of the warfighters unlucky enough to bear witness to said history. Send topics to the Squad that you want us to cover or topics for the Trailer Park Monster to cover on Monstrous Minutes slaptailsquad@gmail.com Join our Patreon https://patreon.com/theslaptailsquad

It's the last episode of season seven and the squad unites. Nope. They didn't. Just the Beaveman and two of his friends who happen to be two very funny individuals. Comedian Dale Earnhardt, the mullet-having, midwest macabre Lord of Opossums and GD Fenderson, certified forensic humourist join the Beaveman for a talk about everything. When we say everything, we are pretty close. Topics include but are not limited to: stories about food, food in the military, GD's bullies, Beaveman's paratrooper stories, that asshole Pete Hegseth, racial profiling, picks of Jodi Arias's butthole, Indiana Jones ageism, GD's vigilante days, Sedley Alley (huge piece of sh!+), Suzanne Collins RIP beautiful soul, serial killers, and whatever else they can think of. Thank you for joining in on the fun. Here is to upcoming season 8. Support the show in the new season and beyond https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week on Monstrous Minutes, the Dark Lord of Brown-Town, JD Hutchis presents a brief glimpse into the possible future of search and rescue. Scientists are strapping Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches into diving suits for new efforts to advance Search and Rescue. Imagine being saved by the real world equivalent to the Prawns from District 9!? Help support the show https://patreon.com/theslaptailsquad

This week, the Slaptail Squad welcomes author Anthony Dyer to the show. Anthony is a former U.S. Air Force special missions aviator with over a decade of experience in special operations aviation. He flew high-risk missions around the globe, earning multiple accolades including the Air Force's Jolly Green Rescue Mission of the Year in 2018. Will that experience help him keep his sanity on a podcast like the Slaptail Squad? Guess you have to listen to find out. The Beaveman presents a common condition known to our guest, you guessed it, motion sickness. Nolan keeps his pie-hole shut, and the Swan brings us one hell of a depressing story about this weeks featured piece of sh!+. Thank you to all of our humans in the armed forces, to our veterans, and the good people of planet earth that are doing the best to protect the people around them and this rock we live on. Thank you for listening. Please check out Anthony's book. Available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, heck wherever you can get it. Link to Amazon provided. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F25SM49H?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback Follow Anthony on Instagram @marco_brolo21 Video to be posted on YouTube Give us money We need your money to achieve our goal. Heck, bring us to your town to do the show. Sex Power Money https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Years ago, Beavers were hunted by disgusting humans, never to be seen in jolly old England again, until... Beavers are nature's engineers. Hard working, family oriented, and Dam good paratroopers. Listen as the Trailer Park Monster, JD Hutchins brings you a little story about the impact of Beavers in England. Support the show https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

The Squad assembles. Beaveman provides an update on his first high school reunion. He graduated over 35 years ago and his lived with one thought in his mind if he ever confronted his high school bully. Wonder what happened? Swan brings the true crime. A story of a mother who allegedly killed her three children then attempted to take her own life. Is she really the piece of sh!+? What really happened the day Lindsay Clancy allegedly took her children's lives? The Beaveman brings it with not so grand rounds. What happens when you get a splinter you can't remove? Nolan tells us about the many places in history the Samurai appeared, and it wasn't just Japan. The Monster brings us haunted stories about the glorious sport of baseball, and Swan rounds out the evening with dumb jokes with Swan. All throughout the episode, the squad nods to the late, great Paul Reubens aka Pee Wee Herman. We miss you. See Beaveman live, on stage. October 9, 2026 at the Wealthy Theatre Straight to the Gallows: A Dark Comedy Show https://grcmc.org/event/straight-to-the-gallows-a-dark-comedy-show/1719 Thank you to all of our listeners Rate and review this podcast, get us up there in the algorithm. We want to do this full time. Love to you all Give us money so we can fulfill the dream of Sex Power Money https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week, the Dark Lord of Brown-Town brings you Monstrous Minutes. The FBI built an entire town just to attack it daily with cyber attacks, to see if they can fix it. The only weird thing about this story is that for some reason, they chose Huntsville, AL. Like what you hear? Share with friends. Rate and review. Thank you to our listeners all over the world. Special thanks to the states in the US that are our biggest supporters. Thank you California, Florida, Texas, Georgia, New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. Thank you Canada for getting us on the charts. Big thanks to Norway for keeping us as a top podcast. We love you all. Give us money so we can fulfill the dream Sex Power Money https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Nolan, Swan, and the Beaveman unite this week as Drippy Steve recovers from bottom surgery and JD makes an urgent trip to Disney to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Behavioral health therapy, what a joke. Talk about a soft science. The squad agrees it is nothing but BS wrapped in an SSRI. Swan gives us an update on last weeks story. The update, there is no update worth a crap. Thanks Swan. How about some details about the family mass murder suicide of the Karolkiewicz family? Thankfully, she has another POS to talk about. Jason Wayne Redman, a 55-year-old Traverse City man, has been arrested after authorities seized electronic devices containing approximately 8,000 images and videos of child sexual abuse material. Get the sundress ready for that a-hole. Nolan, the King of Kalamazoo County Comedy reinforces the belief that psychology and psychiatry is bs. Bring on the cocaine. The Beaveman furthers the narative and reads from one of his go-to books, Psychopathia Sexualis. Has the field of psychology advanced at all? Nah Finally, Swan brings the drone with dumb jokes with Swan. Sure to disappoint. Thank you to our listeners all over the world. We love you. Hello Canada! Glad you could join the US, Ireland, and of course Norway as our top listening countries. Support the Patreon. Give us money Sex Power Money You know the Mantra https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Some lady cleans out her dad's gun safe, trys to sell his shit and ends up finding out his shotgun is evidence. Join the Trailer Park Monster himself, JD Hutchins for this weeks Monstrous Minutes. Check out our Patreon and give us money Support our mission and say our mantra Sex Power Money https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Can we be any more specific than that? It seems like a given, but clearly people just keep doing it. This week, the Squad unites to talk about the latest family annihilator. Oh, this one is special, huge family. Any time you kill 4 or more of your family members, you get the distinguished title of family mass murderer. Believe it or not, not all of them kill themselves. This one did. The Beaveman and JD bring some context to crimes of this nature. The Swan presents the case, in typical Swan fashion, scattered as F! Nolan brings us some historical context of giant pieces of sh!+ that murdered their family members, and Drippy Steve fails to present an intriguing true crime tale. You always have a choice. Make the right one. Get help. There is a special place in hell for people that kill their children and family members. But did he do it? Did the others? The Slaptail Squad provides a little bit of information to consider. Thank for listening. We love you all. Give us money. Support our patreon so we can achieve our goal! Sex Power Money https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

He's back, the Dark Lord of Brown-Town himself, JD Hutchins brings you this weeks Monstrous Minutes. Chile has two, really big ass telescopes, one of which is housed in a Bond villian's lair. They see cool space shit and remind us humans how truly insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things. Check out our Patreon and give us money Sex Power Money, that's our mantra We are here to entertain https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week on the Slaptail Squad Swan comes hot out the gates with an intriguing true crme update on on this weeks featured piece of sh!+ currently residing at a Kalamazoo county jail awaiting extradition to Alaska. Christoper Popps is the primary suspect in the killing of Patrick Orville Dearth nearly 33 years ago in Alaska. Swan really wants to talk to him. The Beaveman really talked Steven up this week after giving him suggestions about his segment. Did Steven hit the ball out of the park or did he biff it? What do you think? The Trailer Park Monster, JD Hutchins, the Dark Lord of Brown-Town himself does not disappoint. This week he discusses Quantum Immortality. Clearly, the Beaveman is intrigued. Nolan comes in hot and peters out like a wet candle. This guy really does love the Mongols, and not just the barbecue. Beaveman explains to every man in simple terms how the male ejaculates. Do they get it? Probably not. And the Swan angrily tells us jokes for Dumb Jokes with Swan. Despite the fact that Beaveman loses his sh!+ consistently throughout the pod, they still have a ton of fun. Thank you all for joining us. Leave us a rating and a review. Keep the momentum going. Join the patreon. Our goal is clear Sex Power Money https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week on Monstrous Minutes with JD Hutchins, the trailer park monster and Dark Lord of Browntown brings us story of a deep see creature. Scientists just captured Goblin Sharks on camera for the first time. These sharks are diving deeper into the ocean than originally thought possible. Spoiler alert! That's not a good thing! Check out our Patreon and give us money please! Sex Power Money That's our Mantra. Thank you all for listening. https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week the Slaptail Squad keeps it weird and disturbing as usual. Content warning. Swan talks about body parts discovered in a lake & in the freezer. Drippy Steve can't multitask as usual while attempting to talk to us about Aliens while our intellectual elitist fact checks him. Beaveman talks to us about why we should eradicate mosquitoes. Thank you everyone for listening. https://www.patreon.com/cw/TheSlaptailSquad https://www.slaptailnation.com/

This week, the Trailer Park Monster, JD Hutchins, brings us monstrous minutes. Every whale dies, not every whale truly lives. That may not be accurate. They don't disappear, they sink and provide a buffet and are an important part of the ecosystem. Join JD in the abyss for your monstrous minutes. Give us money! You know our mantra Money Power Sex join our Patreon https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week the squad takes a break from the norm and talks music. More specifically, the Swan and Beaveman pull tapes, yes casette tapes, and CD's randomly out of their collections to see what JD can tell them about the music. Nolan offers up a musical favorite but receives bland stares from Swan and Beaveman. No offense to Nolan of course. Join us for some music talk. We love you! Go Norway! https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Scientists are back at it again. Poking, prodding and otherwise beating a dead horse or, I guess in this case, a dead iceman. Scientists are once again, disturbing Otzi, not only to satiate their appetites for knowledge but this time, just their regular appetites. https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

Content warning. Disturbing news involving small children. Breaking news! A couple days late. That's right, our crime news anchor The Swan is hot on the trail of some disturbing news coming out of New South Wales and Baton Rouge Louisiana. In New South Wales a mom decided to see if her child was cream filled. Was it? No names were released to the public at this time. In Baton Rouge Louisiana, apparently even the toddlers party hard. Someone should enroll that kid in alcoholics anonymous. Wow, there really are more pieces of shi!+ than not these days. Happy listening. https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad

This week, is, I mean...we going to hell. It's the typical Slaptail Squad podcast. Irreverent, crude, childish, disturbing, and yes, I could go on. We start with our typical useless banter. We find out that JD is a bit into the pee-pee. We are not going to talk about the port a potty baby, let's just say, Air Assault! The Beaveman starts it off with not so grand rounds. This week, The White Death aka Tuberculosis. Still a major concern. Cover your cough! See a friggin doctor, nurse practitioner, physician assistant, witch doctor, something! By the way, is Nolan was a vampire, he would be the first one to develop diabetes. He's the vampire Lesfat. JD, the Dark Lord of Brown-Town takes us on a dark journey of Route 66. Can't wait to get Limp. Swan brings us the disturbing. Several pieces of sh!+ this week. She starts with a tale that is not to be believed. Two idiots leave 3 children under the care of another idiot. What happens, well, I am sure the story will change. Here's to you piece of sh!+, may you get what you deserve Sidney Whitt, Jacqulyn Morales, and Shelby Munoz. Let's not forget that dog banging weirdo. Dude pled not guilty! What? That's right get an update on StevenTyler Swain. Then finally the worst of the worst. Yes we make fun, but that's what gallows folks do. God bless this little man up high. May his sister get the care she deserves. RIP Casper. May Damien O' Brien and Jessica O' Brien meet some concerned parents in jail who will teach them a harsh lesson. Finally Nolan talks nonsense. We are still reeling at this point. Swan brings it home with some truly terrible jokes. So, uh, yeah. That's comedy! We love you all. Thank you for the support. Shout out to the LPOTL boys, Marcus, Henry, and Ed! Thanks for coming to Grand Rapids Michigan. We hope to see you again. Support our Patreon! Our mission is clear, Money Power Sex You have to love the transparency. https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSlaptailSquad