Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond
Published by Emma and Fin
Health & Fitness
Sexuality
Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories. Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.
Kalah has lived a life full of incredible experiences, partners, and adventures as well as a life full of love, intimacy, and pleasure… And she just turned 40 last year! While our conversation today definitely has plenty of wild and fantastical stories, Kalah’s whole journey is really all about love. Yes, it’s about loving others, but perhaps more importantly, it’s about figuring out what we want in life, following our own pleasure, being open to what life has to offer, and loving ourselves unconditionally. Kalah has brought her ethic of love into her professional work, as well. As the founder of In Love We Trust , Kalah works with people who have mastered everything except peace in intimacy. Her clients are brave, full of love, ready to examine the patterns that keep them from being truly met, and willing to build relationships that honor their wholeness. She is a keeper of a human pleasure lineage - remembering that our pleasure is sovereign, that desire is wisdom, and that erotic energy is life force itself. Kalah is an alchemist of intimacy. She offers devoted witnessing, sacred discretion, and transformational containers - reimagined for liberation and love. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Naomi woke up to the fact that she’s polyamorous a few years ago, but looking back on her life she realizes polyamory is actually part of her identity and now everything makes so much more sense. Over the last few years Naomi and her husband have had to completely reinvent their entire relationship together to create something that works for both of them. Today, Naomi lives with her husband and her boyfriend, but it’s not quite that simple… Naomi is polyamorous while her husband considers himself monogamous and has another partner of his own. How do they do it? Join us today to find out! Naomi is also a life coach and has created a community dedicated to empowering polyamorous folks to create resilient relationships rooted in trust, connection, and freedom. You can find links to Naomi’s work on her Instagram ! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
In this fascinating interview, Ryan seamlessly weaves together his own personal journey with his work and research as he shares the origins of his expertise: three life-altering non-monogamous partnerships. One ended abruptly, triggering a severe depression that ultimately led him to recognize this work as his true calling. Ryan, a self-styled ‘Relationship Theorist’, offers articles and private sessions designed to guide singles, couples, and throuples toward lasting happiness in their connections. He reanimates established psychological and philosophical models to assist those navigating every stage of the relationship lifecycle—dating, relating, breakups, makeups, and beyond. Ryan is based in London and is getting ready to publish an extended collection of his articles. His Kickstarter to fund the professional editing of his groundbreaking book—which collates and expands on his articles about relationship etiquette and dating competence—is launching in June 2026, in sync with his own gritty, witty memoir detailing with brutal honesty the trials, triumphs, and tragedies of his adventures starting in March 2023. Ryan's background, philosophy, online tools, articles and availability are available on his website and you can support his Kickstarter here . Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Glory had a bit of experience with non-monogamy before getting married to her best friend back in 2005. After getting together they were monogamous until 2017 when they slowly began opening their relationship after starting to explore a bit of kink and Shibari. Since then, they’ve been figuring out what works best for them as individuals and as partners. This interview with Glory is one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the podcast. Glory spent her twenties trying to navigate life, love, sex, and relationships with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and as a result she was the victim of some horrific and traumatic experiences. Her resiliency, compassion, and way of loving unconditionally shine throughout the interview and are an inspiration. Please be aware that our conversation today may be triggering for some. Glory talks about her experiences with bipolar, PTSD, being raped, being sexually assaulted, and losing a close friend to suicide. She shares with us that telling her story publicly was part of her healing journey and we’re honored and grateful to be part of it. We also feel that sharing these stories is healing, empowering, and de-stigmatizing for anyone who hears them. We hope this conversation moves you as much as it did us. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Join us for this incredible conversation as Reid shares his personal origin story of becoming the queer polyamorous slut that he is today. He also takes us behind the scenes into his journey of becoming a sex educator, and how his work was often inspired by his own need to learn and figure out how to do sex and relationships in a better way. And… Along the way we uncover a ton of tips, tricks, and wisdom that Reid has learned over the years and how he uses the tools he teaches to improve his own life and relationships. As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence, and greater health and accountability in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor, personal stories, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information. In early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a restorative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability . Going forward, Reid’s projects and appearances will include pointing people towards resources and experts on restorative and transformative justice-based accountability processes. Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from all over the globe. He has appeared in media such as Oprah's Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, NETFLIX, Montel, Dr. Phil's The Doctors on CBS, Bravo's Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages. Reid is also founder of Sex Geek Summer Camp, Sex Geek Conservatory, and Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, which help sex educators learn valuable business skills that allow them to reach more people with greater ease, transform more lives, and make a better living as sexperts. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Courtney is a polyamorous mother of three who’s been married for over 21 years and has only recently began exploring polyamory, and her sexual self, after slowly deconstructing her religious upbringing. Courtney's marriage had become really challenging and about four years ago she proposed the idea of opening up so she could get her needs met. It didn’t go well. At one point, she even told her husband that she wasn’t in love with him anymore because she had so much anger and resentment. And now, just a few years later, they’ve opened their relationship, Courtney has a new-ish long-distance partner, and as you’ll hear… She and her husband are more in love than they’ve ever been. Heck, they even started a YouTube channel together! Of course, it wasn't quite that easy! The journey Courtney, and her husband, have been on together and individually has been incredibly difficult, healing, and is so inspiring. Join us today as she shares her beautiful and powerful story with us! Courtney Boyer, M.Ed., M.S., is a therapist-turned-relationship coach, writer, and speaker helping people navigate love, sex, and modern relationships with more honesty, freedom, and authenticity. As the in-house Sex Expert for Pjur’s U.K. market and author of Not Tonight, Honey and Opened , Courtney brings both professional expertise and lived experience to conversations about desire, communication, and redefining relationships outside the mainstream. Check out all of Courtney's work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
In this beautiful conversation, Andre takes us through the powerful journey of self-discovery and growth he’s been on since stepping away from the military and into the liberating culture of San Francisco about 12 years ago. Andre loves the freedom to explore the endless possibilities of each unique connection he makes and he’s learned so much about himself, and what it means to be human, along the way. From learning to befriend jealousy to practicing boundaries in order to better care for himself, Andre shares a ton of wisdom in this interview. We also dig into some incredible stories from his adventures over the years… Have you ever been banned from a hospital? Andre has. Stick around for the bonus episode to hear all about it! Andre has since moved from The Bay Area but his adventures and explorations in non-monogamy and open relating have continued and expanded into his work and career as a Somatic Intimacy Guide and Coach. Through his practice, Coming Closer , Andre supports individuals and couples across a wide range of needs: men facing midlife performance concerns, survivors of trauma seeking safety, long-term partners wanting to revive passion, and those exploring alternatives such as ethical non-monogamy. Andre is also known for his role on the UK television series Virgin Island , where he appeared as a professional surrogate partner helping participants confront intimacy challenges alongside licensed therapists. The program drew national attention, and Andre’s presence on screen highlighted how intimacy work is not about performance but about safety, consent, and the courage to connect. We highly recommend you check out Virgin Island and all of Andre’s work! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
When Leah first joined us five and a half years ago on Episode 146 she was only about a month into exploring non-monogamy after meeting someone who was partnered on a dating app. Leah has always been bit of a relationship junky and over the last few years she’s really been digging into what she wants and what truly works for her in relationships. Today, Leah shares about her experiences in dating as a solo poly person and she also talks about how she’s been very intentional in creating a life full of adventure and connection that doesn’t rely on having sexual and romantic partners. She’s definitely open to it and desires it, but she’s formed deep and intimate friendships and community that fill her cup most of the way up. Leah is also the creator and curator of the Esther Perel Discussion Group on Facebook which has over 16 thousand people in it… Later in the interivew she shares how she built a community that brings together all sorts of people who are interested in relationships, but in particular how she created a safe space where people who’ve been on all sides of infidelity can come together. It’s mind-blowing and we highly recommend you check it out! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
We're celebrating our eight-year podcast anniversary this week by sharing this bonus conversation with Andy and Daniel with everyone! 🥳 Normally, these bonus episodes are part of our Premium Subscription. If you want more bonus content like this, you can join here for just $4/mo ! Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
We had such a great conversation with Daniel the first time we had him on the podcast that we told him to come back and bring his dad. It took us six years, but Daniel’s back… And, he brought his dad. This is a first for us and it’s an absolutely incredible conversation as we get to hear Daniel and Andy talk about their individual experiences of exploring non-monogamy and how they impacted and influenced each other along the way. We also talk about what they’ve learned from one another, new relationship energy, conscious hierarchy, and “The Big Why” behind polyamory and non-monogamy for each of them. Oh… And we get to hear some truly fantastic stories in the bonus episode! Normally, the bonus episodes are part of our Premium Subscription but we're celebrating our eight-year podcast anniversary this week by sharing our bonus conversation with Andy and Daniel with everyone! 🥳 If you want more bonus content like this, you can join here for just $4/mo ! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Join us as Pandora and Chesed share their explorations in polyamory, dating, kink, play parties and so much more. They've been sex friends since 2023, and like to use the term “otter partners” to describe their playful, cuddly connection. Throughout our conversation it's clear how adventurous they both are and how they seamlessly weave the kinky and sexy side of things into their everyday lives. Since 2025, Pandora and Chesed have been collaborators at SlutStack , a blog and podcast for overthinking sex and relationships (and sharing stories of wholesome degeneracy). They also co-organized the first SlutCon in 2025 with Aella. SlutCon is a multi-day sexuality education conference and celebration of SlutHood. Pandora (aka Dr. Bimbo) is a Berkeley-based blogger with about a decade of ethical non-monogamy experience. She writes at SlutStack about sex, kink, dating, and polyamory. After completing her PhD in engineering, she left academia to try out life as a full-time slut. Lately, she had been enjoying leaning into kitchen table polyamory, including navigating life in a group house with her boyfriends. Chesed (aka little otter) is an East Bay-based writer and collaborator at SlutStack. She also has a day job in healthcare, and will be raising her first kid by the time this episode airs. Chesed is best described as "surprisingly agentic for a sex doll." She is married, and she and her husband live with two other ethically non-monogamous couples. She is one of the most poly “not poly” people you’ll meet. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
It’s been almost exactly four years to the day since we last talked with Anna back on Episode 231 and it’s no surprise that our conversation today is just as incredible as the last! No need to go back and listen to their first episode to get a ton out of this one, but we definitely recommend checking it out afterwards! It’s been a big few years for Anna… We talk about some changes in their partnership and living situation, we have a beautiful conversation about their journey of exploring and figuring out gender, we dig into their relationship with kink, and so much more! Anna has also recently experienced some heartbreaking losses which led to a powerful and moving conversation about loss, grief, and healing. Oh... And if you stick around for the bonus episode as part of the Premium Subscription Anna tells some mind-blowing orgasm stories! Wait, are the orgasms mind-blowing or the stories? Perhaps both... Join us to find out ! Anna Baxter is the owner, director, and supervisor at Love Positive Counseling. They are incredibly passionate about providing a safe space for individuals and families to find their innate potential and achieve their dreams, regardless of gender, orientation, race, religion, neurotype or love-style. You can learn more about Anna and their work over on their website ! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
For a long time Liz felt like she was broken. She kept expecting to have a crush, form a relationship, and then stop having new crushes because she was just so in love. Instead, she would have a crush, fall in love, and then have another crush, and then another, and another. Liz eventually tried an open relationship with her high school boyfriend and even though she never did anything other than having lots of crushes, she felt so free! After high school, societal pressure crept in and Liz didn’t revisit the idea of non-monogamy until her thirties when she and her husband opened their relationship about a year into their marriage. After exploring kitchen table polyamory together for about a decade, Liz and her husband separated but currently still live together with their kids as well as with her ex-husband’s partner and her kids. Join us for this powerful interview as Liz takes us on her journey of figuring out what actually works for her and what she wants in life. We have fantastic conversations about hierarchy, the relationship escalator, dating, jealousy, and we get to hear what happens when Liz actually tries to pursue all her crushes all at once! Liz is also a dating and relationship coach who primarily helps highly sensitive, intuitive women find deep, soul-aligned love — without settling, burning out, or pretending to be someone they’re not. If dating has ever felt overwhelming, disappointing, or like you had to hide your heart just to get by… you’re not alone and Liz is here to help! You can learn more about how to work with Liz on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Join us today for this powerful interview with Mischa as he takes us through his journey and evolution of exploring love, dating, relationships, and his own sexuality. Mischa shares about his experiences navigating hookup culture in New York during his twenties before diving into polyamory and the play party scene after moving back to San Francisco in his thirties. Mischa also talks about his more recent 2-year celibacy journey and how his faith and devotion to God have helped guide him in getting clearer on how he shares his love and energy with everyone in his life rather than often focusing it on sexual and romantic connections. We also dig into the nuances of communication and consent, the challenges of pushing against the societal and familial expectations of who we’re supposed to be and what we’re supposed to be doing, and we get a bit philosophical about sex during the bonus questions! Mischa Byruck is a sexual integrity and accountability coach who’s helped support hundreds of men in transforming their own relationships to sex and success. You can learn more about Mischa and all of his work by visiting his website at evolve.men . Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
We first talked with Mariana just over two years ago on Episode 313 and we're excited to have her back today with an update! When we asked if she wanted to come back on the show she was thrilled and told us “A lot has happened but not a lot has changed.” Specifically, a lot has happened internally for Mariana even though the structure of her relationships, who her partners are, and how she does polyamory hasn’t really changed since we last talked. Join us today as Mariana shares what’s shifted for her over the last few years as she’s found herself in a much calmer, more peaceful, and less anxious place while continuing to explore what types of relationships work best for her! Mariana is also a designer who has created some incredible games to help people design their own relationships, sexuality, and community! The three of us actually play her games during the bonus episode for premium subscribers and you can go grab your own copy of all of her games over on her website . Plus, you can get yourself a discount when you use the code EMMA at checkout! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Nisi and Thor have been married for almost 40 years and have built a beautiful life, family, and partnership together. They “officially” opened their marriage about four years ago after spending nearly a decade strengthening their relationship, healing old wounds and religious trauma, and discovering themselves before slowly starting to explore with others. They’ve overcome a ton together and it hasn’t been an easy path for them to get to where they are today. Join us for this powerful and inspiring conversation as Nisi and Thor take us behind the scenes and share what it has been like to open their relationship and how rewarding it has been for them both. Oh! And, don’t forget to stick around for the bonus episode where things get a bit spicy! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Candace is a queer, polyamorous mom in her mid-forties who’s been exploring non-monogamy consensually for about 15 years and has been together with her husband for about 11 years. While it’s been 15 years since Candace started exploring non-monogamy consensually she vulnerably shares with us that during her twenties she was a habitual cheater and that it took hitting rock bottom at around age 30 for her to entirely reshape how she was doing relationships to be more aligned with her heart and values. Of course, redesigning your entire approach to relationships is no small task! She explored swinging on her own for a few years before meeting her now-husband. Then, over the course of about 7 years they slowly expanded their relationship to where it is today… Candace is polyamorous, her husband is monogamish, they have what they call a “poly sphere” with about 50 people in it that spans the US, and they’re a bicoastal family living part of the year together on each coast and living part of the year separately on opposite coasts. We cover a ton in this powerful conversation with Candace and we’re excited to share it with all of you! Candace Klein is a lawyer, entrepreneur, and transformational leader whose work spans finance, technology, and human development. Over the past fifteen years, Candace has served in senior executive and C-suite roles across venture-backed startups and global payments companies, including Chief Commercial Officer of Lynx, a healthcare payments company, and Senior Vice President of Embedded Finance at FIS, a global payments firm with more than 66,000 employees. She is the former co-author of Typhoon Honey: The Only Way Out Is Through, a book on emotional intelligence and transformational growth, and has recently published Polyagony: The Art of Repair in Open Relationships. Today, Candace lives on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, with her husband Andrew, their son Ivar, and their two dogs, Pan and Cinder. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
We love getting to dig deep into the theory and psychology of human relating and relationships with therapists and it’s an extra special treat when the therapist is open to taking us behind the scenes of their own personal journey… That’s exactly what we get to do today with Bart! First, Bart brings us all the way back to his early childhood where he feels like he developed much earlier than his peers. Then he takes us through coming out at age 16, starting to explore non-monogamy in college, and ultimately landing in San Francisco where he continues to explore and discover what actually works for him in relationships. One thing we really love about this conversation is that Bart doesn’t just tell his story, he analyzes and philosophizes about it with us along the way. We also love that we’re never just talking about sexual or romantic partnerships with Bart, we’re talking about relationships of all kinds whether they’re sexual, platonic, friends, partners, or familial. Bart is an interpersonal psychotherapist based in San Francisco who works with individuals, couples, and polycules navigating non-traditional relationship structures. He developed Relational Capacity Therapy (RCT)—a framework that operationalizes Alfred Adler's Individual Psychology into five measurable capacities—and the Relational Maturity Index (RMI), a free assessment that helps people understand their relational patterns across different life contexts. You can learn more about Bart's therapeutic perspective and take the RMI at his website, InterpersonalPsychology.com . Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
Cyndee and Mitch are former pastors who have been together for a very long time and officially opened their marriage in 2022… However, their journey towards opening up spans nearly their entire relationship as they spent decades together shifting their mindsets while deconstructing and reframing religion to get to where they are today. Cyndee and Mitch currently describe themselves as “swingers with a poly heart” or more generically just “open.” Their main focus in non-monogamy is on forming genuine friendships that don’t fit into any particular box. For them, it’s all about the people… And the travel! Join us for this wonderful conversation as Cyndee and Mitch take us behind the scenes of their relationship and journey to opening up. Mitch has been a coach and consultant in multiple industries for over 30 years and today he’s working as a relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. Expansive Connection offers mindfulness based coaching for individuals, couples, and more-somes that seek to better understand themselves and their relationships. You can learn more about Mitch’s work and Expansive Connection on their website . Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing
