Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

This fascinating interview with Amanda is a bit kinkier than usual and it comes with a twist… Amanda and her partner are actually monogamous at the moment. Gasp! We have a wonderful conversation about her current 24/7 D/s relationship, how she and her partner practice bringing jealousy and possessiveness into the light, and their ongoing conversations about possibly opening their relationship. She also takes us through her journey of slowly and intentionally opening up previous relationships, how shame and secrecy around her kink shaped these early relationships, and she reflects on how our relationships can be exactly what we need at a certain point in our lives—and how even painful endings can create room for something new. Amanda Dames, aka The Kink Consultant , is a sexologist, Somatica® Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, podcast host, and former NYC Dominatrix specializing in kink, intimacy, and communication. Through coaching, education, media appearances, and her podcast The Kink Consultant, Amanda helps people explore desire without shame while making kink feel approachable, empowering, and rooted in consent, confidence, and connection. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this lovely episode, Bekki shares their journey of embracing non-monogamy and how, for them, it extends far beyond romantic relationships to include community, career, parenting, and the many meaningful commitments that make up life. We also discuss legal protections for unmarried partners, including cohabitation agreements, parenting arrangements, medical decision-making, and challenges that can arise for polycules and mixed family structures. Along the way, we cover collaborative divorce, intentional conversations about needs and boundaries, and the power of building supportive community around non-traditional families. Please note that although Bekki is an attorney, nothing in this interview should be considered legal advice. Bekki Callaway (they/them) is an attorney and mediator in the San Francisco Bay Area. Their legal practice, New Horizons Family Law , is focused on creating collaborative solutions for family transitions that take into account the unique needs of each family while treating all individuals with respect, compassion, and kindness. Bekki works with LGBTQ+, non-monogamous, and other non-traditional families and allies. They are passionate about creating community and chosen family. Bekki co-founded the Poly Alt Parenting group, which holds regular potlucks and discussions for non-monogamous families and allies, and also runs a meditation and support group for sex positive women. Bekki graduated from Berkeley Law in 2010. Prior to starting New Horizons, Bekki worked as a Branch Chief in the Refugee, Asylum, and International Operations Directorate of U.S. Customs and Immigration Services. Bekki also practiced civil litigation and white collar criminal defense at Freshfields in New York. Bekki is a member of Collaborative Practice East Bay, Bay Area Lawyers for Individual Freedom, and the LGBTQ Bar, as well as the Alameda and Contra Costa bar associations. Bekki publishes articles about non-traditional families, alternative parenting styles, and the intersection of non-traditional families and the law at the New Horizons Newsletter . Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

This week we’ve got our fourth and final (for now) interview with the team from the Kink Collective! In this conversation we bring together the two founders, Joshua and Cat from Episodes 451 and 452, along with Natalie from last week, on Episode 453, for a beautiful look into how they run a business, live together, and are all romantically and sexually intertwined in various ways. It's a fabulous chat and we hope you enjoy it! The Kink Collective is a community and educational organization dedicated to helping successful people build successful relationships built on the philosophy of “people before kink” and the idea that who we are comes before what we do. You can learn more about The Kink Collective on their website ! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Natalie shares a ton of incredible insights about her sexuality, relationships, power exchange, and personal growth in this beautiful conversation. She’s been kinky her whole life and “officially” entered the kink scene when she went to college at age 18. She’s also been exploring various relationship models including polyamory for the last few years and is currently 25 years old and in a triad with multiple significant age gaps. We’re blown away by Natalie’s intentionality, insight, and curiosity and we love how she sees life as one big experiment—and how embracing that mindset has helped her build fulfilling relationships and a deeper understanding of herself. As the Organizational Manager for the Kink Collective , Natalie fuels the mission of “People Before Kink” through strategic communication and community leadership. As a 2025 Northeast Regional Power Exchange titleholder, she works alongside co-founders Cat and Joshua to promote intentional exploration of sexuality and BDSM education worldwide. Professionally, she amplifies the collective's voice through dynamic social media content, event promotion, and ensuring every message is both approachable and community-centered. As a professional dominatrix and aspiring educator, Natalie combines integrity, clear communication, and confident leadership to expand the collective's reach while cultivating her own powerful footprint in the lifestyle. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

The mid-nineties were a time of powerful transformation, self-discovery, and healing for Cat. After getting sober, she had a bit of a reckoning with her sexuality, first thinking she was a lesbian before realizing she was pansexual while at the same time discovering the world of kink and BDSM. She's now been exploring some form of non-monogamy for over 30 years and today she shares her incredible journey with us. Cat is a transformative leader in the kink, BDSM, and leather communities, with 30+ years of experience, mentorship and advocacy. Alongside partners Joshua and Natalie, she earned the 2025 Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, celebrating her innovative approach to power dynamics as a tool for empowerment. Her journey began in San Francisco’s leather scene, where early mentorship ignited her passion for community building and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective , educator, and counselor, she bridges kink with personal development, healing around trauma and grief, and sexual wellness. Rooted in honesty, integrity, and transparency, Cat creates spaces where people are seen, valued, and empowered—whether exploring identity, grief, recovery or desire. Her work proves that profound healing happens when we dare to own our stories. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this beautiful interview with Joshua he shares how his family, culture, and upbringing helped shape his ideas and approach to masculinity, sex, power, and intimacy. As he describes it, he was a habitual cheater who was seeking "power over" in his partnerships and the pattern was subconscious until he met his partner Cat, and everything started to change. Joshua’s story is a powerful reminder that our pasts don't define who we are today, and that we all hold the power to heal and repair ourselves, and our relationships. Joshua is a facilitator, educator, and advocate empowering individuals through self-discovery and intentional relationships. With 15+ years of experience, he guides people—especially men—in navigating modern masculinity, sexuality, and personal growth. As co-founder of the Kink Collective with his partner Cat, he designs programming that fosters confidence and authentic connection. In 2025, their work with partner Mistress Natalie earned them the Northeast Power Exchange Educational Title, honoring their innovative use of power dynamics for empowerment. Based in East Harlem, Joshua curates transformative experiences at The Sanctuary, a community space in his childhood neighborhood dedicated to identity, relationships, and conscious evolution. Their philosophy, “People Before Kink” drives his mission: equipping individuals with the tools to build self-authored, fulfilling lives. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We'll be back soon! 😘

Kalah has lived a life full of incredible experiences, partners, and adventures as well as a life full of love, intimacy, and pleasure… And she just turned 40 last year! While our conversation today definitely has plenty of wild and fantastical stories, Kalah’s whole journey is really all about love. Yes, it’s about loving others, but perhaps more importantly, it’s about figuring out what we want in life, following our own pleasure, being open to what life has to offer, and loving ourselves unconditionally. Kalah has brought her ethic of love into her professional work, as well. As the founder of In Love We Trust , Kalah works with people who have mastered everything except peace in intimacy. Her clients are brave, full of love, ready to examine the patterns that keep them from being truly met, and willing to build relationships that honor their wholeness. She is a keeper of a human pleasure lineage - remembering that our pleasure is sovereign, that desire is wisdom, and that erotic energy is life force itself. Kalah is an alchemist of intimacy. She offers devoted witnessing, sacred discretion, and transformational containers - reimagined for liberation and love. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Naomi woke up to the fact that she’s polyamorous a few years ago, but looking back on her life she realizes polyamory is actually part of her identity and now everything makes so much more sense. Over the last few years Naomi and her husband have had to completely reinvent their entire relationship together to create something that works for both of them. Today, Naomi lives with her husband and her boyfriend, but it’s not quite that simple… Naomi is polyamorous while her husband considers himself monogamous and has another partner of his own. How do they do it? Join us today to find out! Naomi is also a life coach and has created a community dedicated to empowering polyamorous folks to create resilient relationships rooted in trust, connection, and freedom. You can find links to Naomi’s work on her Instagram ! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this fascinating interview, Ryan seamlessly weaves together his own personal journey with his work and research as he shares the origins of his expertise: three life-altering non-monogamous partnerships. One ended abruptly, triggering a severe depression that ultimately led him to recognize this work as his true calling. Ryan, a self-styled ‘Relationship Theorist’, offers articles and private sessions designed to guide singles, couples, and throuples toward lasting happiness in their connections. He reanimates established psychological and philosophical models to assist those navigating every stage of the relationship lifecycle—dating, relating, breakups, makeups, and beyond. Ryan is based in London and is getting ready to publish an extended collection of his articles. His Kickstarter to fund the professional editing of his groundbreaking book—which collates and expands on his articles about relationship etiquette and dating competence—is launching in June 2026, in sync with his own gritty, witty memoir detailing with brutal honesty the trials, triumphs, and tragedies of his adventures starting in March 2023. Ryan's background, philosophy, online tools, articles and availability are available on his website and you can support his Kickstarter here . Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Glory had a bit of experience with non-monogamy before getting married to her best friend back in 2005. After getting together they were monogamous until 2017 when they slowly began opening their relationship after starting to explore a bit of kink and Shibari. Since then, they’ve been figuring out what works best for them as individuals and as partners. This interview with Glory is one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the podcast. Glory spent her twenties trying to navigate life, love, sex, and relationships with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and as a result she was the victim of some horrific and traumatic experiences. Her resiliency, compassion, and way of loving unconditionally shine throughout the interview and are an inspiration. Please be aware that our conversation today may be triggering for some. Glory talks about her experiences with bipolar, PTSD, being raped, being sexually assaulted, and losing a close friend to suicide. She shares with us that telling her story publicly was part of her healing journey and we’re honored and grateful to be part of it. We also feel that sharing these stories is healing, empowering, and de-stigmatizing for anyone who hears them. We hope this conversation moves you as much as it did us. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Join us for this incredible conversation as Reid shares his personal origin story of becoming the queer polyamorous slut that he is today. He also takes us behind the scenes into his journey of becoming a sex educator, and how his work was often inspired by his own need to learn and figure out how to do sex and relationships in a better way. And… Along the way we uncover a ton of tips, tricks, and wisdom that Reid has learned over the years and how he uses the tools he teaches to improve his own life and relationships. As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence, and greater health and accountability in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor, personal stories, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information. In early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a restorative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability . Going forward, Reid’s projects and appearances will include pointing people towards resources and experts on restorative and transformative justice-based accountability processes. Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from all over the globe. He has appeared in media such as Oprah's Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, NETFLIX, Montel, Dr. Phil's The Doctors on CBS, Bravo's Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages. Reid is also founder of Sex Geek Summer Camp, Sex Geek Conservatory, and Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, which help sex educators learn valuable business skills that allow them to reach more people with greater ease, transform more lives, and make a better living as sexperts. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Courtney is a polyamorous mother of three who’s been married for over 21 years and has only recently began exploring polyamory, and her sexual self, after slowly deconstructing her religious upbringing. Courtney's marriage had become really challenging and about four years ago she proposed the idea of opening up so she could get her needs met. It didn’t go well. At one point, she even told her husband that she wasn’t in love with him anymore because she had so much anger and resentment. And now, just a few years later, they’ve opened their relationship, Courtney has a new-ish long-distance partner, and as you’ll hear… She and her husband are more in love than they’ve ever been. Heck, they even started a YouTube channel together! Of course, it wasn't quite that easy! The journey Courtney, and her husband, have been on together and individually has been incredibly difficult, healing, and is so inspiring. Join us today as she shares her beautiful and powerful story with us! Courtney Boyer, M.Ed., M.S., is a therapist-turned-relationship coach, writer, and speaker helping people navigate love, sex, and modern relationships with more honesty, freedom, and authenticity. As the in-house Sex Expert for Pjur’s U.K. market and author of Not Tonight, Honey and Opened , Courtney brings both professional expertise and lived experience to conversations about desire, communication, and redefining relationships outside the mainstream. Check out all of Courtney's work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

In this beautiful conversation, Andre takes us through the powerful journey of self-discovery and growth he’s been on since stepping away from the military and into the liberating culture of San Francisco about 12 years ago. Andre loves the freedom to explore the endless possibilities of each unique connection he makes and he’s learned so much about himself, and what it means to be human, along the way. From learning to befriend jealousy to practicing boundaries in order to better care for himself, Andre shares a ton of wisdom in this interview. We also dig into some incredible stories from his adventures over the years… Have you ever been banned from a hospital? Andre has. Stick around for the bonus episode to hear all about it! Andre has since moved from The Bay Area but his adventures and explorations in non-monogamy and open relating have continued and expanded into his work and career as a Somatic Intimacy Guide and Coach. Through his practice, Coming Closer , Andre supports individuals and couples across a wide range of needs: men facing midlife performance concerns, survivors of trauma seeking safety, long-term partners wanting to revive passion, and those exploring alternatives such as ethical non-monogamy. Andre is also known for his role on the UK television series Virgin Island , where he appeared as a professional surrogate partner helping participants confront intimacy challenges alongside licensed therapists. The program drew national attention, and Andre’s presence on screen highlighted how intimacy work is not about performance but about safety, consent, and the courage to connect. We highly recommend you check out Virgin Island and all of Andre’s work! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

When Leah first joined us five and a half years ago on Episode 146 she was only about a month into exploring non-monogamy after meeting someone who was partnered on a dating app. Leah has always been bit of a relationship junky and over the last few years she’s really been digging into what she wants and what truly works for her in relationships. Today, Leah shares about her experiences in dating as a solo poly person and she also talks about how she’s been very intentional in creating a life full of adventure and connection that doesn’t rely on having sexual and romantic partners. She’s definitely open to it and desires it, but she’s formed deep and intimate friendships and community that fill her cup most of the way up. Leah is also the creator and curator of the Esther Perel Discussion Group on Facebook which has over 16 thousand people in it… Later in the interivew she shares how she built a community that brings together all sorts of people who are interested in relationships, but in particular how she created a safe space where people who’ve been on all sides of infidelity can come together. It’s mind-blowing and we highly recommend you check it out! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We're celebrating our eight-year podcast anniversary this week by sharing this bonus conversation with Andy and Daniel with everyone! 🥳 Normally, these bonus episodes are part of our Premium Subscription. If you want more bonus content like this, you can join here for just $4/mo ! Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We had such a great conversation with Daniel the first time we had him on the podcast that we told him to come back and bring his dad. It took us six years, but Daniel’s back… And, he brought his dad. This is a first for us and it’s an absolutely incredible conversation as we get to hear Daniel and Andy talk about their individual experiences of exploring non-monogamy and how they impacted and influenced each other along the way. We also talk about what they’ve learned from one another, new relationship energy, conscious hierarchy, and “The Big Why” behind polyamory and non-monogamy for each of them. Oh… And we get to hear some truly fantastic stories in the bonus episode! Normally, the bonus episodes are part of our Premium Subscription but we're celebrating our eight-year podcast anniversary this week by sharing our bonus conversation with Andy and Daniel with everyone! 🥳 If you want more bonus content like this, you can join here for just $4/mo ! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Join us as Pandora and Chesed share their explorations in polyamory, dating, kink, play parties and so much more. They've been sex friends since 2023, and like to use the term “otter partners” to describe their playful, cuddly connection. Throughout our conversation it's clear how adventurous they both are and how they seamlessly weave the kinky and sexy side of things into their everyday lives. Since 2025, Pandora and Chesed have been collaborators at SlutStack , a blog and podcast for overthinking sex and relationships (and sharing stories of wholesome degeneracy). They also co-organized the first SlutCon in 2025 with Aella. SlutCon is a multi-day sexuality education conference and celebration of SlutHood. Pandora (aka Dr. Bimbo) is a Berkeley-based blogger with about a decade of ethical non-monogamy experience. She writes at SlutStack about sex, kink, dating, and polyamory. After completing her PhD in engineering, she left academia to try out life as a full-time slut. Lately, she had been enjoying leaning into kitchen table polyamory, including navigating life in a group house with her boyfriends. Chesed (aka little otter) is an East Bay-based writer and collaborator at SlutStack. She also has a day job in healthcare, and will be raising her first kid by the time this episode airs. Chesed is best described as "surprisingly agentic for a sex doll." She is married, and she and her husband live with two other ethically non-monogamous couples. She is one of the most poly “not poly” people you’ll meet. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

It’s been almost exactly four years to the day since we last talked with Anna back on Episode 231 and it’s no surprise that our conversation today is just as incredible as the last! No need to go back and listen to their first episode to get a ton out of this one, but we definitely recommend checking it out afterwards! It’s been a big few years for Anna… We talk about some changes in their partnership and living situation, we have a beautiful conversation about their journey of exploring and figuring out gender, we dig into their relationship with kink, and so much more! Anna has also recently experienced some heartbreaking losses which led to a powerful and moving conversation about loss, grief, and healing. Oh... And if you stick around for the bonus episode as part of the Premium Subscription Anna tells some mind-blowing orgasm stories! Wait, are the orgasms mind-blowing or the stories? Perhaps both... Join us to find out ! Anna Baxter is the owner, director, and supervisor at Love Positive Counseling. They are incredibly passionate about providing a safe space for individuals and families to find their innate potential and achieve their dreams, regardless of gender, orientation, race, religion, neurotype or love-style. You can learn more about Anna and their work over on their website ! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

For a long time Liz felt like she was broken. She kept expecting to have a crush, form a relationship, and then stop having new crushes because she was just so in love. Instead, she would have a crush, fall in love, and then have another crush, and then another, and another. Liz eventually tried an open relationship with her high school boyfriend and even though she never did anything other than having lots of crushes, she felt so free! After high school, societal pressure crept in and Liz didn’t revisit the idea of non-monogamy until her thirties when she and her husband opened their relationship about a year into their marriage. After exploring kitchen table polyamory together for about a decade, Liz and her husband separated but currently still live together with their kids as well as with her ex-husband’s partner and her kids. Join us for this powerful interview as Liz takes us on her journey of figuring out what actually works for her and what she wants in life. We have fantastic conversations about hierarchy, the relationship escalator, dating, jealousy, and we get to hear what happens when Liz actually tries to pursue all her crushes all at once! Liz is also a dating and relationship coach who primarily helps highly sensitive, intuitive women find deep, soul-aligned love — without settling, burning out, or pretending to be someone they’re not. If dating has ever felt overwhelming, disappointing, or like you had to hide your heart just to get by… you’re not alone and Liz is here to help! You can learn more about how to work with Liz on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet! Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing