UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Published by Kara Loewentheil
Education
Self-Improvement
Health & Fitness
Mental Health
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone breaks down the centuries of sexist socialization that causes us to struggle with self-doubt, burnout, and anxiety. Hosted by Master Feminist Coach Kara Loewentheil, J.D., founder of The School of New Feminist Thought and author of Take Back Your Brain (Penguin 2024), each episode teaches you how to turn down the noise of societal expectations, turn up the volume on what YOU really want in life, and change your thinking to make sure you go get it. This podcast is an essential resource for anyone eager to embrace a life free from limiting beliefs and societal constraints. If you ever find yourself asking questions like… *Why am I so anxious about stuff that isn’t a big deal? *How can I stop overthinking everything? *Am I selfish for wanting my life to look different? *Will I ever feel comfortable in my body? *Am I a bad parent? *How can I ask for more money at work? *Can I stop people-pleasing? *How can my partner and I communicate better? … then you won’t want to miss an episode. Visit schoolofnewfeministthought.com to learn more about The School of New Feminist Thought and more.
Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, and success. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/515 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. Take the free quiz here!
Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Listen in as I break down why you cannot always trust the evidence your brain presents as proof, especially when you are making decisions about what is possible for you. I also share a simple exercise to help you separate facts from the stories your brain creates, so you can start noticing the evidence you have been ignoring and build a different relationship with your thoughts. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/514 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a clear decision when you are also preparing to punish yourself for one of the options, and why learning to trust yourself is the first step to making choices from confidence instead of fear. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/513 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode, I explain why embracing inconsistency is actually the key to building habits that last. You'll hear why perfectionism makes setbacks feel like failure, how small repeated actions gradually become automatic, and why flexible, forgiving practice aligns with the way your brain actually learns. This Greatest Hits episode gives you a fresh approach to habit change that reduces shame, removes pressure, and helps you make lasting changes without needing to be perfect. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/512 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibility for your own success lets you see opportunity and achievement as something you generate, not something handed out. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/511 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
It’s so easy to get burned out by the nonstop flood of political news, social pressure, work, and everything else we carry. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can choose how you engage, stay informed, and still be fully present in your own life without sacrificing your happiness, and my guest this week is a great example of doing just that. I'm joined by Zerlina Maxwell, a SiriusXM radio host, author, and political analyst, to talk about reclaiming her time, attention, and happiness while staying engaged with American politics and media. We discuss how gender, race, and social expectations shape the pressure women feel to exhaust themselves and why making intentional choices matters. Tune in to learn how to take ownership of your happiness, set boundaries around your time and attention, and show up in the world on your own terms. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/510 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Follow Zerlina Maxwell on Instagram: instagram.com/zerlinamaxwell/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Do you notice old patterns creeping back in when you start dating someone new, even after making real progress on your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who finds herself feeling needy and seeking validation in new relationships. We unpack why this happens, why it’s completely normal, and how understanding what’s going on in your thoughts can help you navigate these familiar patterns without judgment. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/509 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
If you’ve ever answered “fine” when you weren’t really fine, this episode is for you. Saying “fine” may feel safe in the moment, but it trains your brain to ignore your desires, feelings, and needs, leaving you disconnected from yourself, burnt out, and frustrated. In this episode, I explore why socialization and evolutionary wiring make women suppress anger, disappointment, and discomfort to avoid judgment, and why that tiny word hides so much more than you realize. You'll hear the two steps you can take today to start rewiring this pattern in your brain and rebuild your connection to yourself. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/508 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Does receiving feedback make you spiral into shame, anxiety, or self-doubt? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who struggles to separate her self-worth from professional critique. You'll hear why those intense feelings are actually avoided emotions showing up, how your brain prioritizes short-term discomfort over thoughtful response, and why trying to get through the feelings quickly keeps you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/507 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
If you’ve ever eaten a sandwich when you really wanted dumplings, turned down help you needed, or stayed silent in a meeting because it felt safer to bite your tongue, listen in. Your brain focuses on the short-term pain of asking for what you want and the anxiety or shame that follows, but avoiding those feelings comes at a much bigger cost. In this episode, I slow everything down and examine how a single choice, from the tiniest to the biggest, can ripple across your day, your relationships, and even your career. You'll learn why socialization and internalized beliefs train women to suppress wants and prioritize others, and how speaking up even when it feels awkward is the key to preserving your energy, your agency, and your connection to what matters. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/506 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Why do we wear makeup, and does it even matter? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about makeup and body image. I explain why wearing makeup is a personal choice and often a form of self-expression, not a reflection of whether you have done the inner work to love your body. I also tackle a question about humility and how it can be useful in managing your mind. This episode shows how examining the thoughts behind your choices, about humility, appearance, and social expectations can shift your perspective and reduce unnecessary self-judgment. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/505 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Joy doesn’t always arrive when you expect it, and sometimes it shows up when life feels the hardest. In this episode, I talk about making space for joy with Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke University, 5x bestselling author, and host of the podcast Everything Happens . We discuss why happiness is overhyped, how microjoys and unexpected moments can interrupt your day, and why cultural narratives often make women feel like they are failing if life isn’t constantly “good.” This conversation is a reminder that joy is not something you can control or manufacture. It shows up when you are paying attention, when you let your guard down, and when you allow yourself to be human. Listening will help you notice the small delights, accept life’s unpredictability, and welcome joy into your day, even when everything else feels messy or uncertain. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/504 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Kate's work, books, podcast, and more here: https://katebowler.com/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to a sibling and feeling stuck in resentment and rivalry? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why most of that tension is coming from your own thoughts and judgments, and how noticing those patterns can change the way you relate to your family. I also answer a listener question about parenting a child with a chronic illness. Many parents feel anxious because they believe it is their job to control their child’s health. I break down why the anxiety comes not from the medical reality but from the thoughts you're having. This episode is all about seeing where your reactions really come from, reducing unnecessary stress, and interacting with your family and loved ones with more clarity and ease. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/503 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
When is the last time you actually asked for what you wanted when you were nervous? Not hinted, not hoped someone would notice, not talked yourself out of it. In this episode, I explore why women often suppress desires, needs, and wants in daily life, from small asks like an hour to yourself to bigger moments like negotiating at work or in relationships. You'll hear why thoughts like "I shouldn’t need this" or "it won’t matter" stop you from asking, even when it’s possible to get what you want. I also explain how to start noticing and understanding these patterns in your own life so you can begin to act differently. This episode helps you reconnect with your wants, build confidence in asking for them, and create a life that reflects your real needs and preferences. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/502 Watch this episode over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Many people assume coaching is only for those who want to run a full-time coaching business, but coaching skills can actually be applied in almost any role. In this bonus episode, I explore three ways you can integrate coaching into other jobs. Whether you’re a manager, team leader, HR professional, or working for another coach, understanding the mental models that drive behavior can transform how you lead, influence, and support others. Even if you never plan to coach professionally, this episode highlights the ways coaching changes how you show up in your own life. By learning to notice the thoughts behind behavior, take responsibility for your own reactions, and approach others with curiosity, you can improve communication, manage reactivity, and build better relationships at work and at home. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-coaching-other-jobs Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Social media can be a surprisingly powerful tool when it comes to changing how you think about your body. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about using intentional visual exposure on social media to improve body image. I explain why deliberately engaging with images that reflect diverse and relatable bodies can help retrain your brain’s perceptions, and why it is important to practice these thoughts in a variety of situations, not just while scrolling social media . Then, I tackle what happens when a partner shuts down during an argument. You'll hear why labeling your partner as sulking or ignoring amplifies your reaction, and why taking responsibility for your feelings is the key to staying grounded and connected. This episode shows how to separate thoughts from circumstances so you can feel less desperate, more in control, and more present in your relationships and your own mind. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/501 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Have you been wondering whether coaching could be a career path for you, or something you bring into the work you're already doing? If you can't stop thinking about that, this episode is for you. What it means to be a coach today is far more varied and interesting than most people assume, and most of you are better suited for it than you realize. I explain who is well-suited for coaching, what it actually entails, and how it can fit into different professional and personal contexts. I also address the misconceptions that tend to stop people before they start, including MLMs, pyramid schemes, and the idea that you can only make money by coaching other coaches. Coaching is a real job, it can be full-time, part-time, or integrated into your current career, and a solid certification makes all the difference in building something sustainable. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-coaching-career Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Coach Curious Prep School here: unfuckyourbrain.com/curious Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Women often hold themselves back in ways they don’t even notice. This week, I explore the two biggest ways this happens: not asking for what you want and not telling the truth about how you feel. I break down how socialization and internalized beliefs train women to downplay their desires, soften their emotions, and edit themselves in real time, leaving them disconnected from what they actually want and who they really are. You’ll hear why these two patterns show up across careers, relationships, and daily life, and how they subtly shape the decisions you make and the opportunities you take. I explain why wanting and feeling is not the problem, and why the real work is learning to notice the thoughts that keep you from expressing yourself fully. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/500 Watch this episode over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Learn more about Coach Curious Prep School here: unfuckyourbrain.com/curious Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
Divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you are trying to figure out how to explain it to your children. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about the first stage of divorce, talking about it with her kids, and why starting with your thoughts and feelings, not just actions, is what makes the next steps clear. I also tackle a question about people-pleasing and seeking external validation. You'll hear why prioritizing other people’s needs over your own can feel like love and connection, but it actually undermines your authenticity, and how to cultivate genuine connection instead. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/499 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: What’s really blocking you from speaking up? You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. To take the quiz, go to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/quiz Take the free quiz here!
