UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore why resentment often comes from treating your assumptions about other people’s expectations as facts, why you can't coach yourself around a circumstance that is actually a thought, and how getting clear on what is really happening is the first step to changing the way you feel. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/527 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

How many times have you decided there is no point in asking for what you want because you probably won’t get it? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, a different role at work, more support from your partner, or a change in your relationship. Your brain has a million reasons why it won’t work, why it’s not the right time, or why wanting it says something bad about you. In this episode, I explain why that entire framework is backwards and why the point of asking is not just getting the answer you want. I break down why your brain is not a reliable predictor of what is possible, how fear of your own thoughts and emotions can keep you from speaking up, and why the most important outcome of asking is becoming someone who tells the truth about what she wants. Because when you stop making the ask about whether you get a yes, you stop handing other people control over what you believe you are allowed to want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/526 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Do you have to choose between staying home with your kids and contributing financially to your family? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about feeling torn between these two goals. We unpack why your brain may be creating a false conflict and how shifting your thinking can help you see more options for creating the life you actually want. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/525 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

So much of the self-help world teaches us that the solution to our problems is to become a better, more healed, more secure version of ourselves. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment , to challenge that idea and talk about why self-worth starts with acknowledging who you actually are, not trying to erase the parts of yourself you do not like. Dr. Franco and I talk about why insecurities are not proof that something is wrong with you, how striving to be “securely attached” can become another form of self-rejection, and why acknowledging your full internal experience is the first step toward change. Listen in to learn why healing is not about becoming someone else, but about creating a relationship with yourself where you can acknowledge the full truth of who you are and still know you are worthy. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/524 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Learn more about Dr. Franco's books and work: https://drmarisagfranco.com/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

What if you were one big ask away from the change you need? In one free hour, find the ask most worth making, assess exactly what’s blocking you, and learn what it takes to speak up anyway. September 9, 2026 · 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. ET Sign up for The One Big Ask Workshop here

Do you have an inner monologue that is constantly keeping score, reminding you what you accomplished, and trying to prove that you’re doing enough? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who has an inner monologue that tracks everything she accomplishes as a way to prove her worth. You’ll hear why trying to force your brain to be quiet usually backfires, and what to do instead when you catch yourself in these thought loops. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/523 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

What if you do know what you want, but you’ve just gotten really good at talking yourself out of it? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women feel disconnected from their own desires and why “I don’t know what I want” is often not the truth. I explain how we learn to prioritize what we should want, what will make other people happy, and what feels safe over what we actually desire. You’ll learn why you don’t need a perfect reason or justification for wanting something, how to start listening to your own voice again, and why being honest about even small wants is the first step toward creating the life you actually want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/522 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Some endings are hard because the person is still alive, but the relationship you had with them is gone. This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is grieving a friendship that has faded and struggling to find acceptance. I talk about why grief cannot be bypassed with the “right” thought and how allowing yourself to feel the loss is part of moving through it. You’ll hear why the goal is not to eliminate sadness or anger, but to stop fighting the emotions that are keeping you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/521 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to say something immediately, but you also knew you were probably not in the clearest state of mind? In this episode, I walk you through a real moment from my own life where I was furious, activated, and very tempted to send an angry email. I show you how I coached myself through the emotion, got curious about the thoughts underneath it, and found a way to speak up without either exploding or shutting down. You'll learn how to separate what you can control from what you cannot when you are dealing with other people’s choices, and why speaking up for yourself does not require you to be perfectly calm, perfectly right, or perfectly regulated first. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/520 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

How do you know if you are truly processing an emotion or just stuck thinking about it over and over? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question about the difference between allowing a negative emotion and getting caught in a cycle of recreating it. I explain why the question is not whether you are “indulging” an emotion, but whether you are allowing feelings to move through your body or continuing to fuel them with the same thoughts on repeat. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/519 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities? In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the podcast She’s So Lucky , to talk about the biggest lessons she’s learned from conversations with successful women. We discuss why women often wait for outside validation, how to stop treating every ask like you're begging, and why there is more than one path to creating the life and career you want. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/518 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is worried that yelling is damaging her children. You'll hear why shame makes it harder to change, how to separate a behavior from your identity, and why seeing this as a skills gap instead of a character flaw gives you the ability to actually grow. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/517 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, and creating the relationships and life you actually want. This week, I walk you through how to recognize when you’re moving into control mode or checking out, get curious about the thoughts driving those reactions, and start separating the facts of a situation from the story your brain creates about it. The goal is not to judge yourself for these patterns, but to understand what problem your brain is trying to solve so you can choose a different response. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/516 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, and success. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/515 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life? This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower. Take the free quiz here!

Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Listen in as I break down why you cannot always trust the evidence your brain presents as proof, especially when you are making decisions about what is possible for you. I also share a simple exercise to help you separate facts from the stories your brain creates, so you can start noticing the evidence you have been ignoring and build a different relationship with your thoughts. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/514 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a clear decision when you are also preparing to punish yourself for one of the options, and why learning to trust yourself is the first step to making choices from confidence instead of fear. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/513 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode, I explain why embracing inconsistency is actually the key to building habits that last. You'll hear why perfectionism makes setbacks feel like failure, how small repeated actions gradually become automatic, and why flexible, forgiving practice aligns with the way your brain actually learns. This Greatest Hits episode gives you a fresh approach to habit change that reduces shame, removes pressure, and helps you make lasting changes without needing to be perfect. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/512 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibility for your own success lets you see opportunity and achievement as something you generate, not something handed out. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/511 Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Mentioned in this episode: How to Ask for What You Want Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you. Live Challenge: September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here