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Published by Allies in Recovery
This podcast is comprised of three series addressing topics relevant to families dealing with a loved one's addiction: - FAMILIES SPEAK: parents share wisdom, tools & experience using CRAFT (a proven method) with their loved one - Partner CRAFT: co-hosts explore the specificity of using CRAFT with a romantic partner (or ex) - VOICES from the FRONT LINES: Guests share expertise and stories Allies in Recovery provides online learning modules, expert hand-tailored guidance, CRAFT support groups, info on treatment options, and much more. Learn about membership options on alliesinrecovery.net
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You can help your loved one make decisions by creating a safe space -- by listening, being genuinely interested in their perspective, being non-judgmental, and allowing them to slow things down to examine their own thinking. Avoid trying to fix things yourself, and assume that they're wise enough to know what they need. Your role is to help them make their own choices. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
How do you take care of yourself when there's a crisis with your loved one? It's a process of changing how you think about yourself and your role in the dynamic. If you can change how you think -- even for small parts of the day -- it changes the dynamic with your loved one, allowing them the freedom to look at themselves, and not just worry about how they impact you. Laurie and Kayla share tips. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
In all our interactions with our loved one, it's important to be open to conversation, and seek a way to be collaborative rather than making demands. Our hosts discuss two listener questions, one about a partner who wants a debit card back, and another about a friend who's picking someone up from prison and wants to help continue their seeking of sobriety. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Motivation drives change. How do you find motivation to change your part of the dynamic, and allow time and space for the process to unfold? It's okay to sometimes feel like maybe things aren't working, then get back on track. If you don't know how to change, Allies in Recovery offers a toolbox. As long as you stay interested and use the tools, things can change. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Radical acceptance involves understanding that much of what happens is out of your control, and using strategies to calm, distract, and soothe yourself. The goal is to avoid catastrophizing -- envisioning and preparing for the worst outcomes. Radical acceptance means letting go of what you can't control, experiencing feelings and pain, but without increasing agitation, reactivity, and suffering. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
If your loved one uses multiple substances, use the "functional analysis" to understand which substance to focus on first. Start small, by changing your own behavior in response to your loved one's use. Aim to shift over time. Study CRAFT modules 3, 5, and 6 closely to help make your plans. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
After any treatment, when someone is in early recovery, check your expectations. Your loved one is likely in a fragile state, uncomfortable, edgy, body wrecked after dependency, and disregulated physically and emotionally. It's a time of transition, so have realistic expectations. Be gentle, caring, and connected, not an inquisitor. Connection is key. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
It's smart to avoid giving unsolicited advice. If you receive it, hold your ground, knowing that you're dedicated to upholding the CRAFT model. Consider telling the advice-giver to look into CRAFT to understand what you're doing. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Guest Meme English, a former family therapist and consultant in the legal system, discusses family dynamics. When it comes to substance use, family dynamics are complicated. There are many layers of trauma, from generational to personal, and competing needs among family members. Balancing all these factors and personal situations means deciding whose needs get most clearly met. Trauma therapy also requires time and commitment, and is harder to find since the pandemic. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Let's look at shame and negative thinking and discuss how to slow down, gain awareness, and soothe your system. Our hosts focus on the essential tool of empathy -- especially for yourself -- as a way to understand what story you’re making up, and change that story by looking for the positive even in difficult moments. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Dominique shares a family’s question about a loved one who’s addressed the most pressing substance use. Should the family now focus on their loved one’s cannabis use? Our hosts discuss harm reduction and the role of the “functional analysis” in CRAFT to address such questions. The analysis involves reviewing what’s changed, patterns and dynamics, and making sure your own behaviors support reduction of use. These actions are subtle, and their subtlety makes them more effective. Even with multiple substances, they recommend addressing one at a time. The functional analysis should keep happening with different drugs, so that you know which behaviors to reward and which to walk away from. The Allies site includes cannabis resources discussing withdrawal and tolerance, and the more-concentrated form of use called “dabbing." The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Even when love is not conditional, there sometimes must be conditions regarding people’s behavior. Love in romantic relationships may change if you break up, but with family members, conditionality applies to behavior, not love. What we as family members can modify is how we react and our expectations. Conditionality goes back to boundary issues – there are edges someone comes to where they must stop what they’re doing. It’s important to note that wishing someone would go away is a normal, protective reaction to difficult feelings. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
What do you do in those difficult moments when you feel ramped-up? Laurie and Kayla discuss strategies to back away and not go with the emotion of the moment. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
What are the obstacles between knowing what to do and putting that knowledge into real practice? In part 1, our hosts focus on avoiding a "crisis" response, and slowing events down to avoid being reactive. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Laurie and Kayla discuss change -- how to manage it, how quickly it can or can't happen, and how to focus your efforts. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
An overview of the first twelve weeks of CRAFT, discussing what it can accomplish quickly, and what becomes a lifetime practice. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
So what are boundaries, really? Who are they really for, and how do you use them well? The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
How do you address conflict? The Allies' team discusses several important de-escalation techniques to use when you're faced with an emerging conflict. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
Dominique tells the story of a dad who sees his son's truck at a saloon. Not wanting the son to drive home intoxicated, dad uses an extra key to drive the truck home, parking it a block away. The son returns home intoxicated, ranting about his "stolen truck." Dad stays silent while the son calls the police. They arrive and the intoxicated son rages. Dad tells police (but not the son) where the truck is. A listener says this whole scenario about dad parking truck away seems passive-aggressive, and asks what purpose was served. Was an enraged son the ultimate goal, so the police would arrest him? Why did the father take no steps to alleviate his son's anxiety and anger? Wouldn't the CRAFT method say that when the son came home, he should see the truck in the driveway and get a brief explanation from dad on why it was there? Wouldn't the next day, when the son was sober and both parties more calm, be the time to discuss? The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
A continued discussion of families and treatment. Part one examined how the family can affect treatment and vice-versa. Part two looks at the overall idea: taking care of yourself and observing your own boundaries, while asking how you might best add to treatment. The support group that Kayla facilitates is now offered on a sliding scale. (Cost should not be a barrier—please reach out if you're interested) Allies in Recovery's member site is currently "on pause". Learn more here . During this time, we have taken our entire eLearning program out from behind the paywall—the entire library of learning videos is currently available on our youtube channel .
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Observed September 19, 2026. Cached outside the daily freshness window; the positions keep the date they were taken on.
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