The Hook Up

What happens when you don't end up with the life you always dreamt of? For writer Sheree Joseph it was getting married and having kids. But after her long-term relationship ended and an unsuccessful fertility journey, she had to face a future she never expected for herself. In this chat, Sheree chats to Dee about her journey, the grief she experienced, and what it’s been like to embrace being single and child-free in her early 30s. SHOW NOTES: Sheree Joseph Memoir Juicy - https://publishing.hardiegrant.com/en-au/books/juicy-by-sheree-joseph/9780645858136 Sheree Joseph IG - https://www.instagram.com/shereewriter/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We’re on a little break! But we’re dipping into the archive to bring you the best stories provided by YOU - our extremely sexy smart cool listeners! From cum-piphanies and public break ups, to pleasure dom mommy’s and meeting soulmates in the rideshare - we revisit our favourite and most memorable voice memos sent in by The Hook Up fam. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

After being made redundant from his dream job as an investigative journalist, Bension Siebert turned to sex work to make money and surprised himself by how much he enjoyed it. In this ep, Bension chats to Dee about ‘coming out’ with his new profession, the reaction online and what he’s learnt about the industry. SHOW NOTES: Bension’s Cheek Article - https://cheekmedia.substack.com/p/how-sex-work-saved-my-investigative Bension’s IG - https://www.instagram.com/bensionfindsout/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We all know the phrase but does dating someone who’s completely different to you actually work? In this ep, we hear your stories of dating people who are opposite in lifestyle, interests and core values, compared to people who’ve dated similar - and find out if compatibility can work both ways. SHOW NOTES: Why Do Opposites Attract? https://www.verywellmind.com/is-it-true-that-opposites-attract-in-relationships-5194818 Global study on opposites do not attract: https://www.psypost.org/why-opposites-dont-attract-a-global-study-reveals-the-true-rules-of-romantic-compatibility/ https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/us/why-opposites-dont-always-attract-a-global-study-of-41606-people-across-74-countries-found-shared-values-matter-most-while-believing-your-partner-is-kinder-and-more-attractive-predicts-happier-relationships/articleshow/132179722.cms?from=mdr Perceived similarities in couples: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02654075251349720?utm_source=chatgpt.com Effects of similarity of life goals, values, and personality on relationship satisfaction and stability: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2012.01417.x?utm_source=chatgpt.com DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Going through heartbreak can be one of the most painful experiences and sometimes those break up scars don’t leave - when you start dating again. So in this ep, we chat to Dr Marny Lishman about the walls we put up after being hurt, how to heal and trust in love again. SHOW NOTES: Break Up Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac0wdFkrIUA Dr Marny Lishman - https://www.marnylishman.com.au/ Only You: The Unexpected Gift Of Being Alone - https://www.marnylishman.com.au/books DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We can all agree that break ups are a universally shit experience, whether it’s a long term relationship or situationship. In this episode we’re unpacking all the challenges and questions you have - should you go no contact? How long should you wait before hooking up with someone new? Are my friends sick of hearing about my heartbreak? And can a break up actually be a good thing for ~personal development~? SHOW NOTES Breakup Glowup - https://www.tiktok.com/@yourfree_therapy/video/7534079578067750164 Rebound - https://breeze-wellbeing.com/blog/what-is-a-rebound-relationship/ Marie Claire Glow Up - https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/science-behind-glow-ups-669161 DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

There are millions of posts on TikTok all about ‘spicy books’ and someone who’s become famous for reviewing them is author and content creator Tierney Page. In this ep, she chats about why she thinks there’s been a massive rise in people reading and posting about romantasy and smut, her fav tropes and genres and her journey to becoming an author. SHOW NOTES: watch our romantasy ep with Esme Louise James here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXKoC94haC4 Tierney Page TikTok here - https://www.tiktok.com/@tierney.reads?lang=en DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Whether you have or haven’t read books like Heated Rivalry, A Court of Thorns and Roses or Fourth Wing, you can’t deny the rise in smutty literature. In 2025 romantasy and sports romance experienced triple-digit growth. But there’s been some criticism around how DR and romantasy books often glamourise SA and are too accessible for young readers. In today’s episode Dee is joined by guest co-host Esme James, a sex historian and author, to discuss why we’re all so obsessed with fantasy smut. SHOW NOTES: https://lighthouse.mq.edu.au/article/2026/feb-2026/romance-revival-why-we-love-stories-about-love?utm_source=chatgpt.com Why romance novels thrive on tiktok - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-27/why-romance-and-romantasy-novels-are-so-popular-on-tiktok/103198518?utm_source=chatgpt.com Esme’s book! https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Esme-Louise-James/244716193 Dr Esme Louise James IG - https://www.instagram.com/esme.louisee/?hl=en DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, or gambling - addiction can be one of the hardest things to navigate in a relationship. In this episode we chat to clinical psychologist Donna Stambulich about her experience with amphetamine addiction, the impact it has on relationships and how to best support your partner or loved one. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline - 13 11 14 Donna Stambulich - https://nppsych.com.au/our-psychologists Recode Me - https://recode-me.com.au/ Episode with Luke Bateman on Gambling - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTl8Royc2rU&t=16s DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

What’s the bet you or someone you know has been affected by gambling? Probably pretty high. Around 3 million Australians experience some sort of gambling harm each year. And 1.2 million Australians are affected by someone else's gambling. And it can have a real impact on your dating or love life. In today’s episode we speak with Luke Bateman, ex-NRL star turned author, about his past addiction and tips on reaching the other side. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline - 13 11 14 Gambling Helpline - 1800 858 858 Gambling Help Online - https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/ Luke Bateman IG - https://www.instagram.com/lukebateman_/?hl=en Luke Bateman Australian Story - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-07-27/turning-the-page-luke-bateman/106963436 Compulsive Gambling - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/compulsive-gambling/symptoms-causes/syc-20355178 The Psychology of Gambling Addiction: https://equilibriapcs.com/the-psychology-of-gambling-addiction-why-the-brain-craves-the-bet/ Gambling Disorder Psychology: https://www.reachlink.com/advice/general/gambling-disorder-psychology/

Who has the right to tell queer stories and profit off them? That’s the main theme author Josh Silver explores in his latest book Fruit Fly. The book follows a writer who befriends a young gay addict so she can use his story to write a best seller. In this ep, Dee chats to Josh about his own story as an ex addict, the world of chem sex parties, and why it’s important to share perspectives of gay pain and trauma. SHOW NOTES: Lifeline: 13 11 14 QLife: https://qlife.org.au/ Josh Silver IG: https://www.instagram.com/joshsilverauthor/?hl=en Fruit Fly: https://www.bloomsbury.com/au/fruit-fly-9781836432395/ Melbourne event: https://www.wheelercentre.com/events-tickets/season-2026/josh-silver-fruit-fly Brisbane event: https://bwf.org.au/2026/brisbane-writers-festival/josh-silver-fruit-fly DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Have you ever felt pressure to have a certain kind of sex? Sex positivity has been an incredible movement which has normalised and destigmatised adventurous, kinky and casual sex. But has that come at a cost? In this ep, we’re joined by guest co-host psychologist and sexologist Laura Lee to unpack whether sex positivity and hook up culture has created a new type of pressure and expectation to perform. SHOW NOTES: A women’s right to say ‘meh’ - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/10/sex-positivity-sexuality-ambivalence-feminism How sex positivity lost its way: https://katemanne.substack.com/p/how-sex-positivity-lost-its-way How Sexual information (CONT) : https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9825060/ 5 ways to have better sex in a relationship - https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/experimentations/201710/5-ways-have-better-sex-in-relationship Couples’ sexual communication and dimensions of sexual function: A meta-analysis \ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6699928/ Fetish 101: Vanilla - https://www.hudapp.com/blog/fetish-101-vanilla How the sexual revolution changed the world https://youtu.be/VdDERcyouWs?si=9icswXNioUtwZ3g0 The canadian journal of human sexuality https://utppublishing.com/doi/full/10.3138/cjhs.2017-0017

Surprise! We've got a Saturday Bonus ep for you! You probably heard all about Ben Ilobuchi's situationship troubles in this weeks episode. But did you hear the beef? Dee becomes The Grill's first guest to sear some rogue relationship-specific beefs like ghosting, the ick, and having to sleep in a bed with your partner. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If you’re dating, hooking up with, talking to, or seeing someone but you don’t know where things are going and you don’t know how to bring it up… Dating coach and author Erika Ettin has got you! In this ep, she has some tough love for anyone in a situationship, and will help you have the exclusive/relationship chat. SHOW NOTES: Situationship Ep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17Qr9ovC2N0 Erika Ettin Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alittlenudge/?hl=en DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Are you dating or hooking up with someone right now and you’re not really sure what’s going on? It feels like a relationship but you’ve never had the ‘exclusive chat’. You might be in a situationship… In this episode Dee is joined by guest co-host Ben Ilobuchi to unravel the relationship limbo. Show notes: Deding and Describing Situationships: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/378872949_Defining_and_Describing_Situationships_An_Exploratory_Investigation World Health Org: https://www.who.int/news/item/02-09-2025-over-a-billion-people-living-with-mental-health-conditions-services-require-urgent-scale-up DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Have you noticed a pattern in your love life of ending things when a relationship starts to get serious? Or maybe you pick a fight, or ghost people or never commit to a second date. In this ep we chat to psychologist Dr Rebecca Ray about why we can sometimes self-sabotage and how to break that cycle. SHOW NOTES: Dr Rebecca Ray - https://rebeccaray.com.au/ DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Whether it’s someone’s personality, physical attributes, career or aesthetic - sometimes we lean into a “type” of person who we’re attracted to and want to date. But can it ever be discriminatory, fetishisation or limiting to potential relationships? We hear your hot takes and discuss with special guest host Lauren French.

As much as we talk about sex on The Hook Up, for some people they have absolutely no interest in it. That’s what it’s like for writer, fashion girly, podcast host of Booksmart AND asexual baddie Allie Daisy King. In this ep Dee chat’s to Allie about her sexuality journey realising she was ace, what it’s like to live in a world that’s so obsessed with hooking up and dating and why she still loves to read romantasy and smut books. SHOW NOTES: Allie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alliedaisyking/?hl=en Extra Virgin: https://www.youtube.com/@alliedaisyking ACE book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52128695-ace DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Doing the crossword together every week, writing letters to each other, mandatory date nights, surprise gifts, a commitment to a yearly getaway, and sleeping in separate beds. Whether you’re only a few months in, or years deep - we all have ways to keep the relationship vibes high and healthy. In this ep, we hear your hacks, tricks, rules and methods, to keep your relationship thriving. SHOW NOTES: Harvard University research on importance of Rituals: https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/rituals-strengthen-couples-here-s-why-they-re-good-for-business-too Power of learning new things together: https://www.success.com/the-power-of-learning-new-things-together DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn

Studies show that nearly 30% of Australians have experienced child sexual abuse - a horrific stat that award-winning activist and co-founder of the #YourReferenceAintRelevant campaign - Harrison James has been trying to change. In this ep, Dee chats to Harri about his activism, his survival of child sexual abuse and what’s helped with healing. As well as what he’s learnt from being in a loving and healthy relationship with his fiance Bella Johnston who actually joins us in the studio too! SHOW NOTES: Lifeline: 13 11 14 1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Harrison James IG: https://www.instagram.com/itsharrijames/?hl=en Bella Johnston IG: https://www.instagram.com/spicyjohnston/?hl=en Harri’s Book - Transform Your Pain Into Purpose: https://www.simonandschuster.com.au/books/Transform-Your-Pain-into-Purpose/Harrison-James/9781923293892 DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.au The Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.